Delayed Gratification Shattered
by jessiemcana
Summary: The conclusion to Delayed Gratification 180 and Delayed Gratification Tantalus! Bobby Spencer is missing. His disappearance unfolds a web of hidden truths so deep that it endangers everyone's lives
1. Prolouge: Blood Stained Hands

**Author's Notes: I own EVERYTHING! This is protected by copyrights! I will sue if necessary!**

 **Delayed Gratification Series**

 **Shattered**

 **Prologue**

 **Blood Stained Hands**

Causalities, it's such a polite word. You hear it on news broadcasts, you read it in newspapers, it's tossed around so often the meaning behind it is almost forgotten. But to those unfortunate souls that are told their love one has become a casualty, the meaning behind it is quite clear . . . death.

War is filled with death on both sides and fate has always and will forever be my enemy. As the sunrises onto a new day, I am left with the reality that surviving war is not always the best scenario, sometimes it is the largest curse of them all.

The sun brings the painful reality that my body is alive. While those closest to my heart, to my soul are lying on several cold metal slabs in the mortuary of this hospital. The pain is overwhelming. A horrid reminder that I am alive. It's as though I've been sucked into a cold, dark, black gel that has frozen me into place. There is no escape, no way to move, no will to do so.

I am stuck on rewind, reliving my mistakes that literally caused hearts to stop beating. I keep praying that I will wake up, that this is some sort of nightmare. But those prayers will never be answered. The only response I am receiving is the beep of the heart monitor. I am half amused that something so shattered could possibly be beating.

Our stance is over, our enemy crippled but not defeated. The cost was too great. As I lay here half-conscious in a hospital bed I know of three who have fallen, one of which bleed to death in my very arms. The others I do not know. All I know is that one is too many. I tried to stop this, I tried but some things you cannot stop. Some things are just destined.

Today I am faced with the impossibility of living past today. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be breathing. I'd trade my life for theirs in a heartbeat. I would stop the world if I could. I shouldn't be here, there shouldn't be air filling my lungs. I should not be alive. A shattered heart should never beat for it will never repair.

I listen to the monitors beep, praying that the gods, accept my final pray: _Please, take my life too._

There is more where this came from! Interested? Leave a review! (Only way I will post more.)

Fair warning this is BOOK 3 of the series. Want the other two you need to go online and find Delayed Gratification 180 and Delayed Gratification Tantalus!

~ Official Conclusion to the original Punishment Series posted as arianawhitlock here on Fanfic.


	2. Betrayal

**Author's Notes: This is protected by copyrights! Don't try it, I WILL sue you.**

 **Shattered**

 **Betrayal**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

 **Three Years Before Daniel . . .**

Fuck my life is such a fucking mess. I let my fucking guard down and my fucking heart jumps off the first damn cliff it sees. So what does it do? It gives a grand fucking gesture for the man it is head over heels for. And man was the gesture grand. The concert was great, the youth center is amazing and the local support we have conjured is incredible. So what happens? The first fucking day it opens the kid that Alec has taken under his wing and treated as his own gets attacked. Thankfully Owen's health stayed intact, the poor kid just lost everything else, including his family over bigotry.

And how do I get thanked for the months of planning? Right I don't. Instead I get booted out of the love of my life's very existence over a fucking photograph. Yeah okay so the timing was off a bit but really was I asking too much? It was one date. Is it wrong that I wanted to show him off a bit? He didn't want to deny my request, he knew I wasn't asking anything selfish. He even compromised and stayed out of the spot light for reasons I understood. And the kicker of it is, we were having a great time and even my friends approved of him. It was a perfect night until some fucking paparazzi snapped a fucking picture. In one single fucking flash, my life was over.

I was able to retrieve the camera. I even had my assistant Mike payoff and threaten the damn asshole who took it. I kept Alec safe. But it wasn't enough. Something clicked in his head. He didn't want to be a burden to me. He didn't want me to have to choose between my career and him. He didn't want me in danger. I understood but he is an idiot if he thinks this even resembles Ryan. Ryan was a fucking jealous ass. Alec isn't; he needs to stay out of the spotlight for not only his safety but mine too. That is understandable, that I can work with and that is why I tolerate it. Okay, so I am not fucking perfect, case in point, I tried one normal damn date and I lost him.

It's been days since we spoke. I have been trying to give him some space so he can relax. Taking that time to figure out how to tell him that he is different from Ryan without telling him how I feel. This has led to a lot of sleepless nights and listening to demos. But oddly enough the only thing that seems to calm me these last few nights is when I practice my stillness. I hate being still, but he likes it when I am, so for him I try.

Actually I am trying right now, doing my damn best to ignore the itch on my back and not drumming my fingers like I really, really want to. This exercise is seriously painful for me and it takes a lot of effort so having my damn phone ring in the middle of it is beyond an annoyance. I don't even bother to check who it is when I answer.

"Hello?" I answer irritated, keeping my eyes closed.

"Chloe, he's here. If I don't come back, know I died trying."

"Alec?" I ask my eyes flashing open in instant worry. "What do you mean died trying?"

"Shit, Clayton. I'm sorry. It's nothing, I have to go." he rushes, and my line goes dead.

"Fucking A!" I bitch grabbing my clothes and dressing faster than I did when I was a worried teenager, trying not to get caught with my pants down. I rush out of my house and realize I forgot my damn keys. I rush back in, grab them and head straight to Alec's. He is in danger. Who the fuck was he? Was it Lance? Ethan? Someone else from his past? What the fuck was going on? Why was he expecting him? What the fuck does Chloe have to do with any of this shit? My mind is racing as I run down the empty street ignoring almost all traffic laws. Trying to get more information I call Chloe only to find that the number I have has been disconnected. "Fucking perfect!" I bitch, she does this from time to time but this is the first cycle that I know of where she didn't give me her new number. Guess she knows about my fight with Alec. Annoyed I try Mike.

"Hey boss." He answers formally.

"Mike I need information and I am in no fucking mood to play games. I know you know so don't beat around the bush with shit. Alec is in something and I need to know what the fuck is going on."

"Umm, I don't know anything." He deters.

"His life is in fucking danger Mike and if you don't spill I promise yours will be too. I made you, don't fucking make me break you." I threaten, avoiding a collision from my reckless driving.

"Wow Clayton calm down." Mike bitches. "I might know something but my sources are confidential."

"Today Mike!" I growl, making a sharp turn.

"Levi and Chloe went missing after the concert. Turns out it was because someone took them."

"Someone like who?" I ask, not liking this one fucking bit.

"I don't know boss. I just know that Chloe is safe and Levi is still M.I.A."

"You think Owen was the distraction so this could happen?"

"Word is they were the consolation prize for Owen escaping."

"Of course they were. How could any good deed I do for the man not be punished?" I bitch out loud.

"Boss . . ." I disconnect the call without hearing his response. I made it to Alec's place. Barely putting the car in park before I jump out of it and head for the stairs. My heart is pounding just as hard and as fast as my fist when I reach his door.

"ALEC! ALEC! ALEC IT'S CLAYTON! OPEN UP IF YOU ARE THERE! DAMN IT PLEASE BE THERE!" I scream in a panic not wanting to wait. I try the handle but it's locked so I make a running start ready to plow the damn thing over only to find myself falling to the ground and landing on Alec because he opened the door.

"Ow!" he bitches when his head slams hard against the floor.

"Alec?" I ask stunned. "I was busting…Alec, oh thank the heavens." I exhale before I kiss him hard and passionately. Eventually, he is forced to roll us over so he can break the kiss to breathe.

"Fuck Clayton."

"I missed you." I whisper running my fingers through his hair. Our eyes meet. "We need to work this out."

"I missed you too." He whispers, with a frown. "But it doesn't change things. To be honest you being here right now complicates things, a lot. You need to leave. Now."

This is getting worse by the second and I show him my face of disapproval while he pushes me off of him. "You said if I don't come back, know you died trying."

Pain flashes through his eyes. "That call wasn't meant for you Clayton. Your number is programed next to hers in my phone."

"Fair enough, last I looked my name wasn't Chloe." I shrug, "But as you said it doesn't change anything. Two weeks ago you were terrified at the thought them finding you and now you are giving yourself to them free and clear? Do you know how many red lights I ran to get here? If you found Levi great, we will find another way. You don't need to risk your damn life."

"Breaking the law now?" he asks with a dark laugh.

"You're risking your life!" I counter in no mood for deflection.

"You misunderstood the message Clayton." He lies sitting up.

"No I didn't." I argue pulling myself up, meeting his eyes. "I want to help you, but you have to be honest with me."

"I need you to leave Clayton. Please, being here is putting you in unnecessary risk. It's bad enough Levi is tangled up in a mess because of me. I don't need you to be too. I'd never forgive myself."

"I'm not leaving until I know you are safe." I argue.

He closes his eyes to that pulling me to him. "I can't make that promise right now Angel, but I promise to be careful. If you don't hear from me by noon, call Chloe, tell her everything you know."

"But I don't know anything." I argue pulling back, placing his forehead on mine.

"You know enough."

That is when I notice the bag on the couch and I pull it down next to us. "Going somewhere?"

"Yes."

"Don't." I beg brushing my fingertips down his jaw.

"Levi's life depends on it." He responds in pain.

"Let me come with you." I argue stubbornly.

"No." he whispers. "Please go home."

"No." I refuse but before I can argue further I find myself being lifted off the ground by my throat.

"We're wasting time!" my attacker growls angrily.

"Let him go!" Alec yells jumping to my feet.

"I won't hurt him Alec, I swear." He tells him. "If he cooperates."

"No!" Alec screams and I feel a cold blade on my throat. Feeling how sharp it is I stop struggling, though breathing is proving all but impossible. "Take me, please just let him go. He has nothing to do with any of this." Alec begs dropping to my knees.

"NO!" I argue trying to break free.

"Come now, let's test your training." My attacker sneers, that is when my fears are confirmed, whomever this is, they are a part of Alec's past. "Order him to a chair Alec."

"Please." Alec begs.

"DO IT!" he screams pressing the blade harder to my throat.

"No. It doesn't work that way." Alec answers weakly. "I will give my life for his just please don't hurt him."

"You love him?" The man responds by gripping me tighter. It's too much, I can't breathe and the world goes dark. Leaving even me to wonder Alec's answer.

"Fuck!" I mutter when I finally come to, quickly placing my hand on my forehead while reaching for my phone. "Ah, you have got to be kidding me." I bitch, rolling on my back while staring at a screensaver that isn't mine. I try to stand up but I find myself too damn dizzy. "Bad idea." I mutter. Annoyed I check the phone again and register there is a text.

 _I'm fine, I promise. Remember, Chloe noon. She's in the address book. Take care of yourself and put some lotion from under my bathroom sink on your neck. It will help with the redness. – Alec_

"Lotion? That fucker is worried about fucking lotion!" I scream to an empty room. Trying to control my temper I send a quick smartass reply.

 _Be careful and for the record I'm pissed off! Oh and don't even think about calling any of my boyfriends!_

I try to stand again but it is taking fucking effort. Annoyed I try to call him but he doesn't fucking answer. So I call the only other person I can think of, I am sure this phone has the right number.

"Alec?" Chloe's voice rings in my ear in a panic.

"No it's Clayton. Fucker stole my phone." I bitch.

"What? Why?" she asks confused.

"If I knew that." I bitch. "He's gone Chloe. He went with some jackass with a knife. Tell me how this is going to help Levi exactly?"

"That jackass is Ethan." Chloe sighs heavily.

"Fucking hell." I bitch, knowing all too well who Ethan is. The phone clicks and I check the caller id, it's Alec. "I'll call you back." I mutter clicking over to the other line. "Please, let him go."

"Clayton, it's Alec."

"Run." I demand. "If you can talk to me, you can run Alec."

"No, Clayton I can't. Levi isn't out of the woods yet. Please Clayton, forgive me but I have to keep both of you safe."

"Safe from what Alec?" I ask, needing to know the true amount of danger he is in.

"Ethan." he answers honestly.

"Fucking run!" I repeat. "Please Alec, it could be a trap."

"It's not." he assures me. "Clayton please, I know he won't hurt me. I trust him that much."

"Fuck Alec I did this! That's why you lied to me about the message, he was listening. You could have escaped but you were worried about me." I panic, pulling at my hair.

"Don't." he snaps. "This isn't your doing Clayton, this is mine. I called him, I told him to come. I've managed to get myself into a bit of a sticky situation that is going to take time to get out of."

"Define time?" I reply cautiously. "Alec are you leaving?"

"Yes but not forever Clayton." He answers honestly. "I'm so sorry I misdialed. You shouldn't be a part of any of this."

"You mean you weren't going to tell me?" I whisper in pain.

"I said goodbye Clayton. That's something I don't take back."

"I am not going to let you walk out of my life!" I yell only to receive silence for my effort. "Damn it Alec, promise me!"

"I can't," he whispers. "But I want to."

"I'm calling Chloe." I tell him.

"Please wait, they need to know but I need time to get Levi safe first." he explains. "Promise you will wait to tell them."

He is asking the world of me. It is taking every damn bit of effort to agree to it but I understand that Levi is more than some guy to him, more than a friend, he is and always will be Alec's first submissive and that bond will not be broken. "I promise." I agree reluctantly, not planning on keeping my word, not this time, not with this. "Promise me you will come back to me."

"I promise I will try, but there are no guarantees here."

"Alec."

"I have to go." He responds. "Forgive me Angel."

When I can finally move without the room spinning, I get to my feet. There is only one other person I know who is powerful enough to stop this crazy suicidal mission and she didn't make any damn deals of not interfering. Quickly I make my way back to my car and drive myself to Darkest Desires.

I walk into the place and make my way straight to the office. I am not prepared for what I find. The office door was locked, it is never locked. Not once since I have known Chloe Vivance has this door been locked, she _always_ has someone watching the monitors. I pound on the door repeatedly, expecting to find that I have interrupted a meeting but when the door finally does open it is to a weak and frail Chloe. "Clayton."

"We will get them back." I tell her, assuming she already knows by the looks of her and I push past the door. "We can't sit around here and on our fucking hands while Ethan takes them from us."

"Clayton." She repeats weakly, watching me take in the scene.

"What the hell is with the tissues? I thought you were more of hit the ground running kind of lady." I bitch, cleaning up her mess in frustration. "We won't lose Alec or Levi to that asshole."

"Yes, we will." She answers in a soft voice. It's enough to get my attention and for my blood to run cold in my veins. "Ethan is Levi's only hope." I straighten my body to full height in a slow motion, not wanting to believe what I am hearing. "Levi is in some serious trouble Clayton. I can't help him, only Ethan can."

"Good for Ethan." I respond with venom. "What the hell does _Alec_ have to do with any of this shit?"

"Ethan wouldn't come unless he could protect Alec." She answers, taking a bold step toward me. "Clayton please you have to understand. Alec messed up really bad on his own. Ethan has been arguing with me for weeks about it. Then Levi gets kidnapped and this was the only solution."

I grab her short form by the shoulders and I pin her to the wall, lifting her off the ground in the processes. "What the fuck do you mean you have been arguing with Ethan for _weeks_? How the fuck do you know him in the first fucking place?"

"You're hurting me!" she whines, trying to struggle.

"I haven't even begun." I threaten. "Are you associated with his past?"

"If I tell you no will you believe me?" She asks, kicking at my legs.

I quickly pin her feet to the wall with my calves. "At this point, fuck no."

She stares me down for a bit but even I know my eyes are black with rage. "Okay, I made a deal with them but that doesn't mean I work for them."

"You did what!" I ask squeezing her. "What kind of fucking deal?"

"When Alec moved here, Ethan found me first. He told me who he was and that he freed a slave that he was making my responsibility." She shakes her head, "I didn't believe him. I thought it was just another trick to infiltrate my safe heaven."

My eyes glare. "So you take Alec and what?"

"Not die." She bitches struggling in frustration. "He told me that they would leave my place alone, no more recruits coming here and hurting my submissives, no more death warrants with my name on it. All I had to do was keep Alec safe and out of trouble; but only I could know about Ethan and his protection."

"And how well did this work out for you? _"_ I glare.

"He didn't lie about freeing Alec!" she protests. "He did get the recruits out of here. He did everything he said he would do, the trouble is they aren't exactly giving him complete trust these days. You can't fault Ethan for that, he lost their trust because he protects the man you love."

"You know what I think? I think you made a deal with the devil and Levi was your price; but at the end of the day you couldn't pay, so you traded him for Alec!" I respond, letting her go and walking away before I really hurt her like I want to.

"Levi is innocent!" she yells at me from across the room.

"My point exactly." I respond coldly.

"Ethan is not going to hurt them Clayton. You have to trust that. In time, he will free them and we will get both of them back."

"Does Alec know you betrayed him? His best friend in cahoots with one of his mortal enemies?"

"I didn't betray him Clayton." She responds, timid once more. "I asked him to do whatever it took to save Levi."

"You Bitch!"

"We will get them back!" she screams at me in wailing tears.

"You keep telling yourself that, and one day when you wake the fuck up and realize they are gone forever. Try living with yourself then; knowing you signed their lives over to torture and slavery."

"Stop it!" she yells, stomping her foot.

"I can't!" I scream back. "If I step in now not only am I breaking a promise to Alec, but I could get all of us fucking killed! I have no god damn choice but to let this play out. I came here for help Chloe, you were the only one who could stop this! And what do I find, your fucking signature on the god damn execution warrant!"

"It had to be done! Alec was in danger, Levi…"

"I could have saved them both you fool! Do you no know who the fuck I am? How much money I have? All you had to do was come to _me_! Not him! Fuck off if Alec and I were fighting Chloe. I could have saved them both without bringing Alec's past into it. But _you_ decided the devil was the better option!"

"Clayton, he wouldn't have let me risk you in any way."

"He wouldn't have had a choice." I respond. "And despite his distaste they would both be sitting pretty right now instead of tied up in some fucking van going who the fuck knows where. I blame you one hundred percent for this Chloe. We are _not_ friends. Do _not_ contact me for any fucking reason at all. I _hate_ you wholeheartedly. You mean _nothing_ to me." I make my way quickly to the office door.

"You are still a Master here Clayton. One day you will forgive me." She calls out.

"Yeah, the day they serve ice water in hell." I counter, slamming the office door behind me. I bump shoulders with Rachel but ignore her protests as I make my way out of Darkest Desires for the last time; cutting all ties with my best friends betrayer.

A/N: Had to give you more than just a few hundred words. Let me know if I have your interest.


	3. Train Wreck

**A/N: I own everything! This is protected by copyright! Try it and I will sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Train Wreck**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

For me everything changed after that night. I have always had trust issues, it came with my fame, but this made it worse. Truth is the two people I trust completely are Mike and Alec; which is ironic really, because they both lie to me on a regular basis. Thing is, they are upfront about it. Alec does it because of his past. Mike does it because of his connections to our BDSM culture. But fuck I am not exactly honest with them either. I have my reasons but when it comes to the important shit. I tell them.

I was fortunate that I got Alec back from that debacle. The hardest part was wondering every damn day if he was alive and if I would ever see him again. I found myself falling into reckless behavior and needing Mike to bail me out. He knew to keep my schedule full, an ideal mind for me in this situation was not healthy, nor was it cheap with the fucking lawyer fees it left me.

I wasn't completely out of control during this time. I hired help to make sure that Levi had a life to get back to if he ever came back. I didn't do it for Chloe, I did it for Levi. The man was decent enough, and yeah I was a little jealous of him when we first met, but we made a decent friendship. Besides, whether Alec would ever admit it or not there bond is stronger than a friendship and I will take care of anyone he loves.

I took care of Alec too of course. I paid for his soon to be rid of apartment and all his bills while he was away. I even spoke with his current employers and gave a healthy donation to their cause in case Alec wasn't ready to start his new business the moment he got back. But I didn't let his youth center fall to the side either. Best part about being his silent partner was I had every right in the world to run business without him. This meant events, word of mouth and doing good in the community which gave it good branding. Yep, I kept everything primed and ready for his return, hoping that it wasn't a lost cause.

Doing so brought me closer to Alec's favorite kid Owen. The kid had been through the ringer mere weeks before Alec went missing and I knew that if something wasn't done this kid was going to be lost, so I made sure that didn't happen. The day after Alec went on his suicide mission I found myself at Rachel's.

"I'm here to see Owen." I inform her glaring form, "You give me beef and I am moving him out of here." I warn, knowing full well her loyalty was with Chloe.

"This is some fight you and my best friend are having." She frowns.

"Epic." I confirm. "She is dead to me Rachel. I have no quarrels with you or Kyle but I get if you keep your distance."

"If not for Owen I wouldn't give you the time of day until you and Chloe made up. But you and Alec are close so I get why you are here. Besides the kid needs all the support he can get right now. He's in the guest house Clayton, he doesn't know Alec is gone." I raise my eyebrow to that. "Kid was asleep and he hasn't had a lot of it so I wasn't going to wake him for more bad news."

"You cool if I just visit him from now on? I don't want to put you in the middle."

"Yeah, as long as you keep me informed about any concerns with Owen." She agrees.

"Deal." I reply turning around and heading for her guest house. I have nothing against Rachel, and I understand loyalty. She doesn't know what happened between Chloe and I and it's best to keep it that way. So I will let her back the wrong side, I don't need her in my life. Hell I need very few people actually. And one of them is fuck knows were right now.

Trying to keep my anger of the entire situation from showing on my face, I utilize my well trained face of fame and knock on Owen's door. "I'm not …." He stops mid-sentence when he realizes it's me. "Oh my Mr. Reynolds, I thought you were Rachel. What are you doing here? Oh man, I am so not dressed for you!"

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Clayton?" I shrug, taking off my sunglasses and putting them in my pocket. "Mind if I come in." He shakes his head, letting me through his front door.

"The concert was great, I really did love it." He smiles. "Do you want something to drink?"

"You mean you loved it up to the point of almost being killed." I frown, sitting down on a couch. He turns to me. "Yeah I know about that and I know why you are living here. Tough break kid."

"They are bigots, I don't need them." He dismisses, trying to keep the hurt from his voice.

"You need someone." I retort.

"I have Alec, Rachel, Kyle, and Chloe." He defends. I do my best not to cringe at the bitch's name. "They are treating me well. And I know Levi will too when he turns up."

"You also have me." I tell him.

He looks at me with a small blush. Him and I have been working closely together to get Alec's youth center ready for his opening, but he has never gotten over my fame. "Yeah I know."

"Owen, I'm here for several reasons. But it has been brought to my attention that you are not aware that Alec is incommunicado."

"Say again?" he asks.

"He is working on bringing Levi safely back to us. This is going to require some time." I explain.

"No, he would have told me." Owen argues. "What aren't you telling me _Clayton_?"

I study him for a moment. I know Alec trusts him but I also know Alec would give his life to protect him. "A lot." I admit. "But it is for your own safety and before you start arguing that hear me out." I glare knowing he wants to but is keeping his temper, for now. "I want to offer you a job."

"A job?" he asks skeptical.

"Yeah." I smile at him. "I remember what it was like to be your age. The world in front of you with a lot of big choices to make, career choices. Now, having Reynolds Entertainment on your resume is a privilege, but I am sure you can agree to the terms."

"Let me guess. I get this opportunity with the condition that I don't pry about Alec's whereabouts." Owen mutters.

"I'm not offering you a boring desk job kid." I retort. "I am offering you a six month shadow program where you can get into depth of the ends and outs of the entertainment world. Once you have completed that program you can walk up to the CEO and tell him what job you want. If I feel you need to get your feet wet first we will come up with a plan to get you where you want to be in a reasonable amount of time. All of this on a nice mid-class salary, a leased vehicle and insurance, an expense account, health and a 401(k). I do not believe you not asking questions that could jeopardize your safety is too much to ask."

"Clayton, that's awesome but what about the Youth In Need center?" Owen frowns.

"You are reading my mind. While I don't want that center open without Alec, I agree with you. If you are willing I could have you run of an division of Clayton Entertainment geared toward teens and when Alec gets back I will have the lawyers break it off into it's separate entity and have Alec's youth center absorb it. The kids won't feel much of an impact and seeing as I am part owner in Alec's company the transition will be easy on my law department."

"So I get Reynolds Entertainment on my resume and keep Alec's dream alive, with a bribery package that is designed to keep me safe."

"A very expensive bribery package that is an investment in your future, yes." I glare. He nods, "You up for this kid? This is a lot of responsibility for one person, especially one going through a massive transition."

"Up for a distraction while Alec risks his life? Yeah I am good with that." Owen agrees.

"Good." I smile with a warning. "And don't try going behind my back. I will know."

I get up to leave and he stops me with a call out of my name. "Is Alec gonna be okay?"

"I don't know kid." I answer honestly. "All I know is we are able to give him something to come back to."

"He's a lucky man." Owen smiles, trying to fight off sudden emotion.

I realize I hit a nerve. "Owen, you do know that we are here for you; that you have a family right?" He gives me a nod. "Good, if you need anything call me, if I don't answer call Mike and have him hunt my ass down. You are a friend Owen, not a responsibility okay. So don't go thinking I wouldn't be here if Alec didn't pull his vanishing act. I am here because I want you to have the opportunity to be successful, despite your obstacles."

"Thank you." He nods.

"You're welcome. Mike will be in touch with the details."

I make my way back to Rachel's and let her know about my arrangements and agreements with Owen. She appreciates that we share a common interest of keeping Owen safe and she agrees to make sure he keeps his end of his deal. By the time I leave there I am certain that all that Alec cares for will be protected in his absence. What I didn't know at the time is that Alec would be gone for nearly half a year. Nor did I know that he would have to make a deal with the devil to come home.

When Alec did return to us, he was different. I couldn't place my finger on it at the time, but he seemed, older. It was obvious he carried the world on his shoulders but he refused to share anything with me. I let him get away with it because I knew he was concerned for my safety but I didn't like it. I did try to keep personal security on him when he came back but he is too damn paranoid and the best of the best got made. At least he agreed to an alarm system. Gotta give him credit for that. He also agreed to stay with me until we found a place that I felt was safer than the damn cheap ass apartment that he was holed up in. He humored me I know but I was genuinely concerned.

Levi seemed to be less scathed from the experience. And despite my falling out with his lover, I paid a pretty penny to make sure that man's life was never threatened again. If Chloe figured it out, she never said. Not that I am surprised. I refuse to forgive her for what she did. Alec was distraught about it but he soon realized there was no hope in reconciling it. Especially after the day Alec wound up in the hospital beat to all shit without a single bruise on his hands. Before her selfish act he had been able to wash his hands of his past. But now, now he was living it all over again. No way in hell will I ever forgive it. Why he still considers her a friend I don't know. Maybe it's because he loves Levi? Whatever the reason he is a better man than me.

Not long after their return life seemed to move forward quickly. Levi married Chloe, Alec started the Angles of Justice, I ended up in a car accident that could have taken my life all because an asshole wanted my picture, and Alec confessed his love to me. I was a stupid coward and I chose friendship over risking everything we had with the identifying term of love which even at the time I knew was a mistake. I was in denial, and it cost me everything.

And just when I thought life couldn't get anymore backwards, Owen gets kidnapped. By whom? We suspect someone from Alec's past, but it can't be proven and sometimes bad things happen to good people. To this day we have yet to find him, though I continue to hunt. On the third year of Owen's disappearance my focus shifts to not only age progressions to unidentified bodies in the morgue. I keep it from Alec, I need him to keep the hope. I took on the responsibility of getting the truth, even it if hurt like hell.

After my idiotic move of not trusting love, despite every chance the man gave me, I found the reality that Alec decided to move past me. It killed me to see that he was falling for another. Of course he was in denial about it, even with Bobby's bold moves. I hated it and selfishly took Bobby on as my sub in hopes that Alec would confront me and make me face my fears. He never did. Worse yet, it backfired, Bobby developed feelings for me too. He understood why I released him. He never hated me for it. Instead I felt awful that I interfered and did what I could to get him with Alec, which worked. It is good to see both of them happy.

Alec repaid the favor by managing to introduce me to a sub that I developed feelings for and when I found myself at the same crossroads as I had been with Alec I decided to jump with Daniel. It about broke Alec, I didn't mean for it to. I was just trying to correct an irreversible mistake. Little did I know that this would bite me in the ass. But karma is a bitch like that and in the end, I got everything I deserved.

A/N: Seeing Tantalus from Clayton's POV is a little different. Soon everything you knew about this world is going to shatter ... Stay tuned.


	4. Sheep's Wool

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright. Try it and I will sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Sheep's Wool**

 **Alec's Point of View**

My head hurts, fuck what I would give to live a normal life. But my life took a turn many years ago and it is a wonder how the fuck I am alive to tell about it. Between the death threats, beatings and scars it's a wonder how I am still functioning. But my body's scars don't bring me pain, no my heart is the idiot. I am in love with a man who refuses to love me. I am living with my submissive whom I fell in love with, despite my personal rules. Yet here in this moment I am currently lying naked in a bed with a man I have loved for years and can't be with because in all definitions of the word, he literally owns me, which at one time was against my will. No complicated doesn't even begin to describe my life.

"By the look on your face, I would say that you did not find subspace." Ethan frowns. "I am getting worried Alec."

"I'm sorry Sir, my mind is in a million places." I mutter. He doesn't say anything, instead he waits. "My gut is screaming that Daniel is not good for him." I finally admit.

"Ah, Clayton, should have known." Ethan mutters, rolling onto his back looking at the ceiling. I feel guilty talking about Clayton to him, I know he is forced to fight with jealousy every time I do.

"Can you please check Daniel out again?"

"He is a famous film producer Alec, there isn't much to check out." Ethan bitches. "I doubt I will find more than I did three years ago."

"Ethan please." I beg defeated, "I have never seen Clayton like this, it's like this guy is purposely fucking with his head or something."

"It could be as simple as being in love Alec." Ethan mutters.

"Which makes me a horrible person because I don't trust the guy he falls for." I frown.

"Horrible, no." Ethan mutters "Jealous… maybe. Protective … yes."

"There is something else." I add, causing Ethan to stiffen. The last time I said similar words I was asking permission to bring Bobby into Angels of Justices. He was pissed that I would think about putting another man's fate in the ever watchful eye of the Quattro but he understood I can't lie to him completely. It was a horrible compromise that we both hated. I wanted to tell Bobby everything, that I am still owned in order to protect those I love but I was denied. I only won Angels of Justices because he struggles with denying me much if anything. "It doesn't involve you." I assure him, touching his face and watching him relax. "Clayton's asked me to teach Daniel how to be a Dominate."

Ethan's eyes go wide. "You don't need me to tell you how horrible of an idea that is right?"

"Nope. But it didn't stop me from agreeing to it."

"Alec."

"I love him Ethan, how can I deny him anything?" I ask, my heart aching.

"If I knew that answer, I wouldn't share you." He whispers, placing his lips on mine. I kiss him willingly and get curious when he breaks it off for a text message. "You should go." He tells me leaving his bed and smiling at his phone.

"Is everything alright Ethan?" I ask confused.

"It's Sir." He corrects throwing me my clothes and leaving the room. I dress quickly and find him on his couch staring at his phone. "Alec, don't train Daniel. It will only make everything hurt worse." He calls after my retreating form. I stop and hold my breath. I came here because I needed a release. One only Ethan can give me and just when I think I can walk a straight line I find myself green with envy because it is obvious to me Ethan is dating someone. Which is completely irrational. I love Bobby. But Ethan once told me I had the last of his heart and here he was texting another man in front of me. I know I asked him to date, but must he flaunt it? I decide not to be selfish and give a nod. "Alec."

"Sir." I respond not looking at him.

"I will check out Daniel for you again if it makes you feel any better." His phone chimes again.

"Thank you Sir." I manage but my voice is full of venom, despite my effort to hide it.

"Alec Impavido. Crawl to me, now!" Ethan snaps, picking up on my tone and body language. Closing my eyes I drop to my knees and obey him. When I reach him he places his foot on the side of my face and pushes my cheek to the floor. He says nothing while he continues to text. I swallow hard and try to relax, doing my best to ignore each chime. "Suck my dick Alec." He demands, while he continues to play with his phone. The next fifteen minutes are pure hell, it is obvious he is sexting at this point and he is using me as his stimulator. When he finally cums, I swallow and lick his dick while he finishes his texts and puts his phone aside. "Good Slave." He tells me as he stands and zips his dick back in his pants. "You are dismissed." I say nothing as I stand only to be stopped by his grip on my upper arm. "Quickly accept the fact that you share me too, Alec. Do not make me have to make this harder than it already is." He turns me to him. "Remember this is what you want. Unless you want to change our arrangement?"

I want to ask if he loved the stranger on the other line. I wanted the justification that despite the fact we could not be together that I was his number one, even though he wasn't mine. But I know better. When Ethan wants to prove a point he will. He was right, I requested this arrangement. He offered more but I declined. As we stand, I have absolutely no say in his romantic life. I am his property and he can be with whomever he wants. I on the other hand, am being allowed my freedom with Bobby. If I push too hard then my life would be over and my friends would never find me no matter how hard they looked. "No." I reply shaking my head, "I'm sorry Sir, the jealousy was unexpected."

"Not unwelcome." He smiles reassuringly. "Tell me pet. Why on Earth would you be jealous about me sexting another man?" My eyes meet his. "Say it pet."

"Because I love you Sir." I answer truthfully.

"You realize you are my property?" he asks, reaching his hands down my pants.

"I realize you own me, that I have no free will of my own." I gasp, he has the most talented hands, "despite being completely owned, I love you Sir Ethan."

He stops what he is doing. His eyes meet mine. "Say the word pet and we will disappear and never have to share one another again." I close my eyes as my heart breaks, I can't say it. I can't walk away from the life I have built. "Leave pet," he orders in a pained voice, "and don't let me see this jealous behavior again or else." I walk out of there completely shattered as my torn hearts jagged pieces cut me with every single beat.

The drive home is a blur. Bobby takes one look at me when I enter my home and carries me straight to our master bedroom. I say nothing as I strip and he draws the water. I hate having to lie to him as much as I do, so I allow him to see as much truth as I can. I am not shy about the fact my body is covered in wilts and my writs are starting to bruise from the bindings they were shackled in. Seeing me in this state is not a surprise like it was the first time. He tried to get me to reveal who my Master was but I refused to tell him. He asked me point blank if it was Ethan but I lied to him. I don't want him near this. I also forbade him from telling Clayton or anyone else. As far as the world is concerned, Alec Impavido kneels for no one. Only Bobby is entrusted with a secret that this isn't exactly true. He believes me to be a switch, nothing more. And if I have my way he will never know any differently.

"What Clayton is asking of you isn't fair." Bobby finally speaks as he turns off the warm water.

"Nor was his request to you." I remind him, stepping into the tub.

"Are you really going to train Daniel?" he asks, grabbing a spoof and soaping it up.

"I don't want Clayton to be at risk. There really isn't much of a choice." I answer, leaning forward and cringing a little when the soap stings my back.

"You don't trust Daniel, do you?" Bobby asks.

"No, I don't."

"So what are we going to do about it?" Bobby asks.

"I'm working on it." I assure him.

He is quite for some time then he looks up at me. "I do try to understand your need to go to someone else Master, but I would do anything for you, including Doming you if you need it. Please, I want to serve you in every way I can."

I grab him and hold him close to me. "You know you can't Bobby, we don't work that way."

"These are so deep Master." He worries, tracing the cuts Ethan left behind.

"Could you ever make them this deep for me, if you were holding the whip my love?" I ask, which gave him the assurance that the man I was trusting with my body did not go too far. He shakes his head, knowing he never could hurt me like I need to be hurt, accepting that there must be another who could.

He pulls away from my grasp. "Clayton needs a distraction from this Daniel spiral."

"I agree, but what can we do? I can't tell Clayton I suddenly don't trust Daniel, he would see it as jealousy." I shrug. "Just to be clear that isn't it. Daniel wants something, I just can't figure out what."

"You think it might be Angels of Justices?" Bobby asks.

"Could be. Not sure how we could find out though."

"We offer him membership."

"No."

"Hear me out." Bobby responds to my rejection. "We will keep Clayton in the dark too. No one will be in any danger. We can fake a scenario that will get Clayton's attention and leave him with no choice but to admit he is a member."

"Okay so say Daniel finds out, then what?"

"Then we see how bad Daniel wants to become one of us." Bobby shrugs. "We just need someone we can trust."

"Oh I have the perfect person in mind." I answer with a smile.

"Really? Who?" Bobby asks confused.

"Mike Walker." I answer confidently.

"Clayton's right hand man?" Bobby asks in surprise, "Can he really be trusted with this Master?"

"Yes, this and so much more if necessary." I assure him.

"Wow, he must have done something to earn that. You never trust anyone." Bobby notes.

He wasn't wrong, I don't go about handing trust out to anyone. But Mike and I have a history. It has always been clear since the moment we met one another Clayton meant a lot to us. Admittedly, this caused slight friction until we realized we were fighting the same side. This alliance was always a risk because neither of us wanted to risk Clayton's trust us. So we resorted to calling one another but not saying a word on the call just to get our point across. Our system worked very well, with the exception of Mike and I having a taboo session in a hospital when Clayton was having his brain cut into. That day he showed a different side of himself to me. One that made me a bit more cautious around him. I didn't lose my trust in him by any means but I did suspect there was a lot he was not telling anyone. At the time it wasn't something I was prepared to confront him with. But now, if I can get him to help us out, I believe it is time the man gives me full disclosure.

It took me twenty minutes and a dinner reservation for two at a very exclusive club in town for me to convince Mike to do this for me. He too has been watching Clayton spin out of control and is worried about him. So a trap was set. We made it look like Mike had fallen for an abusive Sir, one whom Mike insisted upon, and put a convincing cover story behind it as to why Mike would need Angels of Justices and not anyone from Darkest Desires. Mike also had a target in mind, apparently some prick was using his social status to hurt people and this was the perfect way to make that stop. What neither of us banked on however was that it took Clayton a full fucking month to catch on that something was wrong. Which not only irritated me and Bobby but Mike as well.

Once the trap was set in motion, Clayton ditched town with Daniel on my insistence. And when I say ditched I mean Daniel toted his ass halfway across the world to some private fucking island. This made me even more concerned than before and all I wanted was Clayton to come home, but Daniel kept making that impossible with his sudden sister drama. If not for Bobby and Ethan I would have lost my damn mind. But Ethan arranged a get away from Bobby and I to Corpse Christy. Bobby didn't know that Ethan was two doors down and was at times at our restaurant or on the beach with us. Ethan refused to let me play with him during this time, he demanded I spend it all with Bobby, he just had to be there so not to cause suspension. I know it killed him. I did sneak off almost every night against my orders, just to be with him. Ethan tried to deny me but I would simply beg him to kiss me and his weak defenses fell, making passionate love to me every time, leaving no marks so Bobby wouldn't catch on. To be honest the distraction helped. But the more I talked to Clayton the more I needed to be distracted. Daniel had managed to tangle so much that I couldn't see straight. The moment we got home I gave Bobby this pleading look.

"Go Master. I know you need something I cannot give you." He frowns, kissing me lightly. "And I also know you will return to me."

"Thank you." I whisper, touching his lips to mine and exiting out of my house before I could even unpack.

Ethan was waiting for me, he knew the need. He didn't say a word as he stripped me of my clothes. I fell to my knees and moaned when I felt him bind my wrists. "Please Sir, I need to bleed." I begged.

"I know Pet. I will text Bobby for you, you will stay with me for the next couple of nights. We need not worry him with the immediate damage." I nod, knowing I was signing up for hard core torture, craving it. I could never do this to any of my submissives, I could never ask anyone else to ever do this to me. But I need it and truth be told, I need it from Ethan.

Ethan bound and raised my wrists above me, spread my legs out uncomfortably and tested the ropes to make sure there was no possible movement. He kissed me gently before he turned away. He didn't start light, there was no warming, there simply was a wispy wooden cane being slapped against my inner thigh. I screamed out in high hell, which only encouraged him. I couldn't keep track of the strokes that were placed on all parts of my body. I struggled to no ale when he was relentless on one spot making the wilts break open and causing warm blood to trickle down my skin. He only paused to give me time to catch my breath before he would start again. I found myself begging him to stop but we both knew it wasn't what I wanted, the pleas only seemed to encourage the torture.

Eventually he switched to a stiff riding crop. "Who owns you? Who ends this?"

"You do Sir." I answer crying out when the leather hit my sac.

"Such a beautiful sound." He smiles, causing it to escape my throat over and over. Eventually he drops the crop and lets me hang, his hand gliding gently over my skin.

"More, please Sir I beg of you!" I plead, ignoring the look of concern on his face.

"Much more and you will pass out from exhaustion!" He snaps, gripping my throat. "It isn't for you to decide. I dare remind you the only thing you should ever beg me for is my cock!" He blocks my airway until I nearly pass out and then he leaves me hanging there, letting my arms sting from weak blood circulation while my body drips with sweat and blood. My dick is hard and dripping from the intensity of it all. I relish each and every ounce of pain, not wanting it to leave, enjoying the fact that is all my mind can concentrate on.

When he returns he takes a small stool and sits it in front of me. He then places a bucket to the side and begins sucking my dick. I know the moment I feel his talented as hell mouth on my dick I am in for a world of hurt. He does not disappoint. I struggle to keep myself from coming and when I can't handle it much longer, he takes the plastic lid off the bucket to reveal that it is full of ice. I scream out bloody murder when my arousal and sac are placed in it. He watches me closely and he repeats this cycle several times before he shakes his head, takes his equipment and leaves me alone again.

He isn't gone long and I know he is next to me when I feel his hands on my sides. "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. I am very concerned Alec, very concerned." I feel him tie my limp cock tightly in leather. He steps away and I cry out in rejoice when I feel the sting of the leather whip hit my back. He pelts my back, my thighs and my stomach for nearly an hour before finally I broke down in tears. Something I never did as a forced slave. Something he has only managed to earn a handful of times since my willful surrender. "There it is, there's my Pet." He whispers bringing my head to his shoulders, "Let it out." He encourages, stepping back and whipping me some more, not stopping until he was sure every last tear is spent.

When he is satisfied he releases my legs and finally my arms, letting my limp form fall onto his body. He draws me a warm bath and keeps me in it until the water cools. When it does, he dries me and leads me to some blankets on the floor next to his bed. He binds me there, climbs in the bed and we both sleep.

The next two days were much lighter, he has me preform submissive tasks and pleasure him. All the while hyper aware of my healing. "I didn't want to do this much damage." He admits to me on the second day. "But you were so tightly wound."

"Thank you Sir." I smile, kissing his hand while watching his face.

"Thank me after Bobby sees you naked." He frowns. "You can't keep going on like this Alec, it's toxic. I had to go really far to bring you back to me Pet."

"I appreciate you doing it Sir." I assure him.

"I would appreciate you keeping your distance from Clayton and Daniel but I don't see that happening." Ethan mutters. "I am here but I won't hurt you again until you are healed. You need more outlets than this Pet."

"I will, I just need Clayton to realize that Daniel is no good for him." I bitch. "It took him way too long to realize Mike was in trouble. This isn't like him."

Ethan flinches at Clayton's name and distracts himself with unbinding me. "You need to get dressed, I am would try to wait a day or two more before Bobby sees these marks."

"Hey," I whisper, touching his face.

"Go." He orders, getting up and walking out of the room. I feel bad and want to say something to fix it but when I am dressed, he isn't anywhere to be found. Hurt, I grab my keys and leave, back to my chaotic life, wishing I hadn't spoken Clayton's name in Ethan's presence.

I met Bobby at work and after a few chaotic moments he got me alone in my office. "Did it help?"

"It did." I assure him.

"Do I want to see it?"

"Not for a few more days." I admit honestly. He gives me a silent look of acceptance mixed with hurt.

"I have an errand after work." I shake my head at his sudden glare. "Not there, it is just something I have to take care of. I assure you love, I am coming home to you tonight."

"Be careful." He says standing up and walking out the office before he could verbalize his mind. Both of us knowing that was the best course of action. He swore he could accept me for who I am. I know it hurts him but I can't change it. I hate to admit I have had to teach him a lesson on his distaste for it in the past, but at least it sunk in.

After work I got into my car and thought about the past few months. So far Clayton isn't the wiser of Mike's abusive Dom being a ruse and he never will be, if Mike and Bobby value their personal jewels. But something is bothering me, and I am not ending this charade until I get answers; thankfully Rachel has been willing to help me out on my scavenger hunt. I make my way to Rachel's, planning to get answers, little did I know I was about to get way more than I ever bargained for.

When I get there I am greeted by a very unhappy Mike. "When the hell are you going to let me out of Rachel prison?" he complains the moment I enter his room.

"When you stop keeping secrets from me."

"What are you talking about? I did you a favor here. One that could get me in a shit ass lot of trouble if I am not careful. So imagine my surprise when I try to leave, after Clayton skips town to find that Rachel refuses to let me by locking me in this damn room until you say otherwise."

"Who is your Master?" I ask, ignoring his rant.

"I am not going to answer that." Mike glares.

"I don't like to repeat myself Mike. I doubt you left the guy you were with when Clayton had his brain surgery. If you want to get out of here, I suggest you tell me the whole damn truth."

"Why should I trust a Quattro spy?" he challenges. I say nothing though he did take me by surprise. "You wear the marks."

"Marks that guarantee my freedom from them yes." I answer cautiously.

"There is no such thing as freedom from the Quattro. I know for a fact, the only way out is death or maybe witness protection, if you are lucky." He leans forward on his bed with a smirk, "My guess is Clayton doesn't." he challenges but doesn't stop there. "You ask me, Ethan Fidato, a known Quattro Sir, is under the naïve delusion he can protect you from the main four. No matter how that turns out you are and will always remain his. This freedom you are so proud of has to be conditional and the moment he changes his mind, you will disappear out of Clayton's and everyone else's life just as fast as you came into it."

"You seem to think you know a hell of lot about the Quattro." I test, not liking at all where this conversation has turned.

"I have my sources." Mike shrugs.

"Sources? The only damn way you can understand the workings of the Quattro is to be a part of it." I accuse. He removes his shirt, showing me his back, proving that he is not a slave, but he could be a recruiter. "Not convincing." I reply, noticing he has a tattoo on his right arm. I study it, it does not resemble any known symbol of the Quattro and does not have the distinctive 'Q' above it.

"You think that abusive Master I sent Angels of Justices after would still be breathing, if I were a part of the Quattro?" Mike challenges back, calmly.

"Could be a setup, force us to trust you." I argue. "Which is why I want to know, who is your Master?"

"I told you, I am not answering that." He shrugs, "Rules. But I will say that they are a very private, legit, no-Quattro individual." I glare at him. "Come on, paranoid much?" He asks. "Man Alec, I get that they have eyes on you but to set up such an elaborate scheme is ridiculous. Think about it. You met Clayton by accident and from my understanding you perused him. As for me I have been working for Mister paranoid for years before you were in the picture. Take a breath man. The world doesn't revolve around you."

"You done?"

He studies me for a moment. "I want you aware that I know for a fact you willfully went back to Ethan's service. You trust him. I don't like it, not in the slightest, but it hasn't hurt Clayton. Actually, I am under the impression it has helped him so I have been willing to overlook it …for now."

"How the fuck?" My eyes widen in realization. "How the hell does Chloe trust you this fucking much? Do you realize this shit can get you killed?" He raises his chin, but keeps silent. We both know the only way he could have this information is through Chloe and she is someone who doesn't trust a soul. The fact that she trusts him, makes his word extremely valuable.

"I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about Clayton." He answers, putting his shirt back on.

"Why?"

"You have no idea how much danger Clayton is in do you?" he asks distressed.

"Apparently not?" I answer irritated.

"You and I bonded over one thing, we both care for Clayton." He responds, "Now I personally would love to have a relationship with him, but if I must step aside it would be for someone I respect and trust. Believe me when I say Daniel doesn't meet the standards."

"You don't trust Daniel." I reply studying him. "Are you jealous? Or does Chloe share this mistrust?"

He doesn't answer that. "There's more." He continues, ignoring my interrogation. "Cassandra Lupa is a part of the Quattro."

I cross my arms over my chest, I personally had her background by Ethan just in case. The waste of time project revealed that Clayton's men do a great through background checks. Cassandra Lupa is one crazy bitch, but has absolutely no ties to the Quattro. "I know you hate the bitch Mike, but I can assure you, she isn't."

"Cassandra Lupa became a singer for Blackboard Entertainment the same time Daniel became an Untouchable." Mike informs me, putting the jumble of puzzle pieces he had given me into place.

.

"That is one hell of a coincidence."

"It's more than a coincidence." Mike argues, "If I could prove it, do you think I would I have gotten involved in this drawn out charade?" he seethes. "Do you have any idea how hard it was to get my Master to hurt me enough to be convincing? More or less have to keep it up for a month because Clayton is so fucking absorbed he can't see shit in front of his face!"

"Say I am buying into this theory of yours. Why didn't Chloe just come directly to me? Why add a middle man?" I ask officially pissed.

"Her and Clayton had a falling out remember? Do you honestly believe he would trust a word she says? Or would he trust you if she was your source?"

"So why not tell him yourself?" I ask angrily.

"He's my boss! I can't just butt into his personal life, give him some information that sounds like a conspiracy theory that threatens not only him but you and managed to stay employed!"

"Who was the guy you set up Mike? Why did you need him to go down?" I ask, suddenly suspicious.

"A crooked cop who was best friends with the mayor that you put behind bars." He answers.

Suddenly it was clear, this wasn't just about protecting Clayton; this was about protecting me too. Not to mention Mike knows, which means Chloe knows, way more than anyone in my free life should. "I can't go to Clayton with a conspiracy theory Mike, especially when it involves Daniel. Get proof and I will deliver it to him myself."

"You think I haven't been trying? It is taking more time than I care for." He bitches, "Look just keep an eye out alright. I don't trust either of them but I can keep a better eye on Cassandra than I can Daniel."

"Fine, I will keep an eye out but I am not saying I believe any of this, not yet. Until there is proof not a damn word to Clayton." I warn, "I am not fucking with his happiness with conspiracy theories, nor will I allow anyone else. Get fucking proof."

When I leave I tell Rachel she can let the smart ass go and I warn him to keep his charade going. If Clayton ever found out either one of us lied to him, there would be hell to pay for both of us. Pissed when I get in my car, I send Bobby a text telling him that I am running later than I expected. I make my way clear across fucking town to talk with Chloe.

"Master Alec." Chloe smiles when I walked into the lobby. "This is a surprise."

"Madam Chloe." I smile giving her a hug.

"Wantta play?" she asks as one of the submissives approaches her.

"I can't, I just need a moment of your time." I frown. "Please."

She raises an eyebrow, gives the submissive an instruction to wait for her in one of the upstairs bedrooms and takes me to her office. "If this is about Clayton, I can only apologize so much."

"It isn't, well not directly anyway. It's Mike." I answer watching her reaction.

"Oh, him. Can't figure out if he is jealous of Daniel or if there is something to it to be honest. I can't find anything about either Daniel or Cassandra having any connection to the Quattro."

"So you didn't send him?" I ask confused.

"Kinda." She shrugs. "He came to me about them and I told him the safest way to find out would be through you. Going to Clayton would be political suicide. And what can I do? Clayton won't acknowledge my existence."

"You should have come to me."

"Oh yeah right." She bitches, "Hey Alec, I am not sure I trust the people Clayton is trusting. No, I don't have any damn good reason for it. Yes, I know him and I are strained." She glares at me. "I respect both friendships you are maintaining here Alec, I would never feel comfortable approaching you like that when it can be construed that I am asking you to pick sides." She frowns. "Besides, it does seem far-fetched and by the look on your face, you are just as skeptical I am. I am staying out of it. Mostly. I did give Mike some credibility so you would at least hear him out."

"Credibility?" I glare, "So you admit being the one who picked the guy that was chosen for Angels of Justices little demonstration?"

"We are friends and despite what your lover or best friend or whatever the hell is he thinks of me, I will do everything in my power to protect you!" she spits venomously.

"Protect me? Is that what you are calling telling Mike everything about the Quattro and my connection to it? Protection."

She jerks her head in confusion. "Wait, what? Seriously, what are you talking about?"

"Mike knows a hell of a lot about the workings of the Quattro and he knows I am still in service to Ethan and about Levi." I glare.

"You mean you confirmed his suspicions." She corrects.

"I did no such thing." I argue.

"He played you Alec. He had a conspiracy theory about you too. Let me guess, he gave you statements, not questions."

"They were dead on Chloe." I answer slightly worried.

"And you didn't deny them." She frowns. "He's a puppy who caught a scent, I wouldn't be worried. He has a lot of time on his hands and if you haven't noticed it all involves Clayton. He is only trying to protect him, he can care less about you really. You are after all competition."

"You are making him out to sound like an obsessed stalker." I observe.

"Please he's harmless and he has proven his loyalty. His loyalty is just simply Clayton."

"And to his Master?"

She studies me for a moment. "Just keep an eye on Daniel. If Mike was so dead on with you, he might be onto something with Daniel too."

"Next time you are worried, come to me or Clayton okay." I sigh. "Promise me."

"I will come to you, I promise." She frowns.

"Chloe." I plead.

"As I said, I can only apologize so much. This choice isn't mine anymore Alec, it's Clayton's."

"What happened?"

"When he is ready, he will tell you." She gives a half smile. "If there isn't anything else I do have a beautiful submissive waiting for me."

"Of course." I frown watching her go.

Annoyed at this entire day as a whole I make my way home. Bobby takes one look at me and brings me into his arms. He doesn't speak, he knows I will talk when I am ready. Truth was my head was spinning so much with my after work encounters I couldn't see straight. I feel asleep sometime in the night and found myself in mine and Bobby's bed. I took a shower, running everything over in my head. It wasn't the fact that Mike wanted to me to watch Daniel, it was just the fact yet another person in Clayton's life doesn't trust Daniel, including myself. That and Mike has done was too much research on the Quattro. If he isn't a recruiter he is going to either get himself killed or enslaved. Yeah Clayton wasn't my only concern, Mike is too.

Truth was, Mike had a hard time satisfying my need for facts. Though admittedly there were some red flags that caused the conspiracy to grow before both our eyes. We both watch skeptically as Cassandra became more and more explosive, and Clayton fell into more and more danger.

That was just the physical damage. The emotional tornado Clayton found himself in was so bizarre that he couldn't see straight. I was very close to making Clayton end it early on before any physical damage occurred to him because I started to see signs of emotional abuse. I kept telling myself I was wrong but my professional training just wouldn't shut off. Daniel started off by being threatened by me, not a good move if he wanted to be close to Clayton. Then all of a sudden he was fine with it? Not to mention he spent his energy on keeping Clayton as isolated as possible. Anytime friends get mentioned he finds a way to grab all the attention or somehow make it all about him. I second guessed myself though, which was my mistake. Had I not then Clayton would have never thrown me off my guard so much I was forced to step back from Clayton all together. Which allowed Daniel free reign.

I still hate myself for this but I am just a man after all. A man who is and will forever be in love with Clayton Reynolds. I knew he loved me too but he never admitted it to my face, until he did. I wish he hadn't, it was so much better to know without knowing, instead of knowing like this. It wasn't a special moment between us, it wasn't an epiphany where he realized it for the first time and was asking that we change our lives for each other. It wasn't a private personal confession. It was just thrown at me in a stranger's living room in front of Daniel Kingsley. I kick myself for it now. I see it exactly for what it was in hindsight, Clayton was crying out for help. But the cry struck such a painful nerve I ran.

My instinct was to run straight to Ethan. To this day I can't explain this reaction. Nor can I explain why feeling his arms around me was the most comforting thing in the world. It was then I learned that Daniel's employee Ethan was in fact my Sir Ethan. It wasn't much of a surprise. I knew we had worked for Daniel in the past. I just didn't realize Ethan still worked for him. When I asked why, Ethan told me he found it very strange that Daniel joined the Untouchables. He tried to find any connection he could but when it failed he decided to keep him close and asked for his old job back and got it. He noticed Daniel's behavior change drastically one day but when he learned the source was Clayton he quit because he didn't want to risk Clayton recognizing him.

When Ethan realized how distraught I was over Clayton's brushed off confession he offered to take me away from all this drama and to be truthful, for a moment I thought about it. But I couldn't leave my kids, my life, Bobby… Ethan seen the struggle so he ordered me to increase our sessions. I didn't argue, hell I didn't want to leave. But in the end I did go home, telling Bobby that I had the cab drive around for a bit. Clayton told him what had happened and I fell into Bobby's comforting arms, though admittedly not as comfortable as Ethan's.

When Clayton showed up at my door it took everything I had not to vomit. When he offered the one thing I have always wanted, him and I to run away into a happily ever after, I was forced to say no. Not because I didn't want it, because I couldn't have it. Had Clayton not held back when we were first together than him and I would be living freely and happy lives together. But he resisted and life took unexpected turns. I reluctantly found myself owned once more and only after I lost my free will did Clayton return to tell me he was a fool. It killed me to say no and choose Bobby over him. But our happily ever after was destroyed years ago. It was just the first time Clayton realized it.

That wasn't dwelled on too long though. Daniel took the spot light with his sister Tasha making a really bad choice that put her in a lot of danger. She was dating a rich guy who was suspected of homicide. This was not something Angels of Justice normally gets involved in. Bobby convinced me to go through with it because he was truly concerned for the girl. Thankfully it worked out. But then Daniel threw more curve balls than we could anticipate.

The moment he is initiated, he leaves. To be honest I was fucking relieved. It took Clayton ages to find his footing after this guy fucked him up but he did. I just wish it wasn't with Mike. Don't get me wrong, Mike is a nice guy and has long ago proven to me he is sincere about caring for Clayton. But he is committed to his Master, whoever the fuck that is, and I don't see him ever kneeling for Clayton. That and Clayton needs Mike in his work life. If this goes sour Clayton's business would suffer and I lose my personal spy. So no, I do not approve. I did not stand in the way, but I did let it be clear that some boundaries should not be crossed. Mike pretty much blew me off, reminding me that I started dating and then Doming one of my employees. He wasn't wrong, I am a hypocrite but I am a protective one. Okay so maybe I feel no one is good enough for Clayton and if I had to admit it, Mike is a thousand times better than Daniel.

Not to mention right after the Tasha drama was settled, Daniel still managed to find a way to get the most attention by having some crazy stalker. One that attacked Clayton in broad daylight that managed to get him hospitalized. Yeah I was glad Daniel was gone. Against Bobby's and Ethan's wishes I decided to keep my enemy close and brought Ben into Angels of Justices. This allowed me to keep an eye on Daniel. And I was fed the strangest of information. Daniel, whom left Clayton, was destroyed over their break up. He simply couldn't move on. The world had ended. Yet Ethan's sources photos painted an entirely different picture. Daniel was going out constantly, and was smiling in almost every photo. Even made out against a brick wall with some stranger for hours. Ethan's spies never did see the man heartbroken as Ben claimed him to be.

I was pissed when Daniel returned to Clayton's life. Clayton was just starting to be happy and suddenly he drops Mike like last year's party dress. And Daniel came in with impossibly more drama than he left. He had a therapy dog, which his shrink recommended after he started having suicidal thoughts because of losing Clayton. Oh and suddenly he is a massive drunk. I am a trained professional and I know a fuckass damn faker when I see one. Something was going on and I was bound and fucking determined to figure it the fuck out. Daniel Kingsley is going down and I am going to be the one to knock his ass off his self-appointed thorn.

The day after Clayton dumped Mike I find myself at Mike's front door. I am greeted with red puffy eyes and a frown. "Here you thought I was an asshole for telling you dating Clayton was a bad idea." I glare, staring at Mike.

"I don't need a fucking I told you so." Mike snaps. "You want to rub it in, get the fuck off my property."

"You know it isn't my style Mike." I reply, stepping past him into his condo.

"Why are you here?" he asks.

"Because I am a friend." I reply. "How are you doing? Do you want to talk?"

"No." he responds walking over to his couch and plopping down.

"Daniel was in my house yesterday."

"You're point."

"I've officially decided I don't trust him." I admit. "Maybe not for the same reasons you don't, but something is not right."

"I am confident he has ties to the Quattro, Alec." Mike answers, standing up and walking to the window. "I just can't prove it."

"Maybe it isn't anything to prove with Daniel. Maybe there is something more solid with Cassandra." I respond. "This isn't paranoia. I truly believe Clayton is being targeted by the Quattro because of me. The pattern fits."

"Pattern?"

"Owen, Levi, now Clayton. All men I care about, all in danger." I answer defeated.

"Bobby?"

"He's on the list somewhere I am sure of it."

"Have you told him?"

"No. I can't prove it. Why worry him. Don't get me wrong, I have tried to push the man away for his own safety but he is a stubborn son of a bitch."

"So we get proof." Mike shrugs.

"How? I've exhausted all the channels." I bitch.

"I'll find a way."

"You will get yourself killed!" I growl.

"Not if I don't get caught." Mike answers evenly. "I'm good at this kind of stuff Alec and drastic measures is all we have left."

"No, I won't let you do anything to risk your life."

"You can't do it and you know it Alec." Mike challenges. "Ethan would strip away the last remaining bits of your illusion of freedom."

I glare at him. "I hate that you are right. I also hate that you know so much. Who is your Master? Why does Chloe trust you so much?"

"I'll make you a deal." He offers. "You tell me everything and I will tell you who I kneel for."

I sit down on his couch, "Not today Mike. One day I swear I will tell you everything. But for now let's keep with what you know."

"I know my life sucks right now." Mike bitches, sitting next to me.

"Have you ever considered Clayton didn't give you an ending because it isn't over?"

"Can't say that I have." He replies dryly.

"Come on Mike, you have known Clayton a hell of a lot longer than I have. Tell me I am wrong."

"So what I am supposed to wait for him or something?" Mike asks, confused. "You are so not helping Alec."

"I'm just saying when Clayton ends things, he ends them. Yet you are still a part of his life."

"He ended it with you and you are still a part of his life."

"Exactly." I smile, squeezing his knee while I stand up. "I just got tired of waiting." He looks at me and I can see the hope returning in his eyes. I give him a sad smile. "If you need a friend, you know where to find me." I shrug and walk out his door, hoping that Mike has a little more patience than I do.

Mike proved more determined than ever after that. Though Mike could not provide solid evidence I was not liking how it seemed the moment he was getting close to something, Daniel threw a hissy fit that forced Mike into the background of Clayton's life. Still Mike must have tripped some alarms. Otherwise he wouldn't have found himself kidnapped, tortured by Cassandra herself.

Thankfully, Mike didn't lose his life for his trouble. The fact that he still breathes is because Clayton decided to play hero and managed to save his life. His sacrifice wasn't for not. Mike got proof that Cassandra was a part of the Quattro. Being as Daniel was tortured too, keeps me from coming to the same conclusion. I do believe Daniel has a demon in his past that he is hiding. I just have no damn clue what the fuck it is.

All of this has led to the reality of today. I have two friends in the hospital with severe injuries and more questions than answers. I am not sure what to do in the grand scheme of things. I do know my next step is to stop Daniel from getting any closer to Clayton. But I have to look like I am supporting Daniel when I do it, so not to set him off. And if I know Clayton at all, Mike is the key.

Of course all of this had to wait. Brad Pazzo, curiously Daniel's ex-boyfriend, threatened Clayton's life two too many fucking times. The weak bastard now lies helpless in this very hospital after I finally get my hands on him. Yes there is a massive risk that Brad's involvement in the Quattro so I left him alive … barley. I believe my personal message is clear. Clayton is off fucking limits and anyone who is stupid enough to try to touch him again will have the same fucking fate. Torture and life-long suffering. Suffering you chose not to live with and willingly die on your own free will. Fuck, I was so close but death seemed too much of a gift to give. Then again I may have stopped too late. He might die anyway. This is me, losing sleep.

After changing into fresh clothes and making sure I had Brad's blood off my skin, I had chosen to visit Mike in his hospital room before I visited Clayton the day they were rescued from those maniacs.

"How bad is it Mike?" I ask, knowing I don't want the answer.

He tries to put a smile on his face but gives up quickly. "It's bad Alec." He answers honestly.

"Will you walk again?" I ask, approaching his hospital bed.

"With a limp." He frowns, "If I am lucky." He shakes his head, "Not looking for a pity party Alec, we have bigger issues."

"Such as?" I ask, my stomach twisting into even more knots.

"Daniel was hanging over a batch of water Alec. If you don't believe me talk to Detective Cole." He winces as he tries to sit up. "He was locked up with me and not tortured. He walked out of there with barely a scratch. Clayton's man! Daniel should be dead, if not at least a mirror image of me."

"Brad wanted . . ." I stop with the look he throws me. Not ready to admit defeat I snap my denial, "You are assuming Cassandra and Brad are a part of the Quattro. We have yet to find proof of our suspensions."

"Our suspensions?" He smiles, "Shame it took this to convince you." He winces, "She was on the phone a lot. Sebastian in not a common name nor is Quintin. But together, Alec it's too much of a coincidence."

"Quintin." I whisper my mouth instantly dry. I have only heard him addressed by that name only once, long ago, when I was first introduced to the head of the Quattro himself, Quintin Malocchio, or known to most as Que. "You and Daniel should both be dead. And how the fuck do you know their names? Didn't I warn you that too much information will get your ass killed! Look around, you are fucking lucky to be breathing!"

"So why are we? Granted they tried killing me and had it not been for Clayton they would have succeeded. But why was Daniel virtually unscathed? What is stopping them?" Mike asks, his facial expression falling to pain as he stands up.

I watch him carefully, figuring I wasn't going to be able to stop him. "I don't know."

"At least admit it is odd." Mike glares.

"Yeah, okay you got me there." I admit.

"Why go after Daniel to start with? Why not just go straight for Clayton?"

"They did, with a baseball bat, remember." I seethe, flexing my sore knuckles. "Trust me, no one will make that mistake again."

"What did you do?" he asks, cautiously.

"Sent a message." I reply, coldly.

"And you bitch that I take risks!" Mike seethes, "you are going to get your ass killed!"

"Why I am not dead is a question I have been asking myself for years." I frown. "He hurt Clayton, Mike. I won't stand for it. I don't care who his connections are."

"How bad?" Mike asks in confusion.

"Unless there is a miracle at work, he'll be dead by morning." I answer, flexing my sore knuckles.

"That's bad." Mike frowns.

"After what he did to you, to Clayton?" I ask, insulted. Mike just glares. "There is a silver lining, we could be wrong. Ethan couldn't prove he was a part of the Quattro I was within my rights to protect my own."

"Protect your own?" Mike states, pissed. "Judge, jury and executor. Alec, that's murder."

"Maybe. He was still breathing when I left. I made sure he got help. I brought him inches to his life." I sigh. "I won't deny I thought about simply killing him and being done with it, but something stopped me. It's too late though, I doubt medical science can save him."

"Something? It's called a conscious." Mike snarls, "Glad you still have your humanity. Not that it will do much good if he dies from internal bleeding." We're both silent for a moment. "So which one is going to tell Clay about all of this?"

"I will." I answer, feeling a sudden headache. "Just not right now. I know you heard what you heard but you are the burned and now injured ex-boyfriend. It's better if it comes from me."

"Daniel can't be trusted Alec." Mike warns.

"I know. But right now Daniel Kingsley is on Clayton's good side and until he fucks that up again, we are best to keep our mouths shut since we have nothing to base our gut instincts on."

"Don't you mean _if_ he fucks up?"

"No, I mean _when_." I respond. "In the meantime you and I will be extremely supportive of those two."

"I am swallowing vomit because why?" he asks annoyed.

"Because we want Daniel's guard down. That is the only way we are going to find the truth about whatever the fuck it is he is hiding. And if you are proven right and he is here to harm Clayton, I will kill him myself."

I left Mike's hospital room, paid my regards to Clayton and went straight to Ethan, telling him everything I know.

"I can't even express my disappointment in you Alec." Ethan responds. "Even if this man has no connections to my family, you better pray he fucking lives. The thought of you willfully taking another person's life." He shakes his head. "Get out, I can't look at you right now."

"Sir." I plead, completely taken back by his response. I have done many things with Ethan but I have never once disappointed him. I have never once, been looked at the way he is looking at me right now.

"Leave Alec."

I walk out of his place and drive home in a daze when I get there I find Bobby, damn near as angry as Ethan. Difference is Bobby's reaction doesn't surprise me. He chooses not to fight with words, just simply stands with his arms crossed over his chest in our living room, glaring.

"I am not going to apologize!" I snap. "Had you been his victim I wouldn't have stopped myself from killing him!"

"Every single one of his ribs is broken, his skull has hairline fractures, his nose is broken, his left leg and right arm are broken, he is covered in bruises and not to mention internal bleeding."

"So I did kill him." I frown.

"No, he's alive." Bobby answers not amused. "He's in a coma but he is alive." I flex my swollen hands, not sure how I feel about that information. "You are seriously facing prison time for this Alec."

Prison, if only it were that simple. "No, Detective Cole is writing his report to show it was self-defense."

"Self-defense." He answers, uncrossing his arms in anger.

"Bobby."

"You are sleeping on the couch. I am too pissed off right now. We will talk tomorrow." He storms out of the living room and I sit down on the couch thinking back to the attack.

All I can remember is white rage. The sound of Clayton's screams in my ears. I can't even remember if Brad screamed or fought back. My knuckles seem to be the only damage but I haven't really looked in the mirror to see if he got a few good blows in. I remember kicking a metal pipe but I didn't use it. I managed to do all that damage to him with my bare hands. But I stopped. How I managed to stop before he died still puzzles me.

 _I got through to you in time._ Glory's all too familiar voice, filters through my mind. My memory flashes and I recall what ended my rage. _STOP! STOP! JACK PLEASE, STOP HE ISN'T WORTH IT JACK, ALEC STOP!_ I hadn't heard her voice in my head in so long, it surprised me. I remember his bleeding face break into a bloody smile and the eerie laugh before he chocked on his own blood.

"What the fuck is so funny!"

"I get the last laugh." He smiles, spitting blood. "The moment I die you will watch everyone you love perish before she kills you."

Angry, I punch him in the face one last time just to knock his ass out.

My mind flashes back to the present. I sit on the couch a moment longer before I text Bobby that I will be back in the morning and make my way back to Ethan's. I pound on his door until he gets sick of it and opens it, grabbing me by the scuff of the neck and all but throwing me into a wall.

"It was Glory. She's the reason I was able to stop myself." I rush, feeling him chock me. The look on his face goes from pure anger to shock. He drops his hands from my body and stares at me. "Ever since she died, she has lived in my head." I admit. "I haven't heard her voice in so long." Tears slip down my cheeks. "I remember what I did. I wasn't lying when I told you it was a blind rage and nothing stuck. But Bobby told me his injuries and Glory …" I stop. "He told me his death will set off a chain reaction and kill not only me but everyone I love."

"They could simply be words of a desperate man. Trying to save his own life."

"Maybe but the smile and the laugh." I shake my head at the memory. "Had I not done what I did, he would have gone after them again. Maybe not now but he stalked Daniel for years."

"I do not agree with your actions Slave!" Ethan snaps, his disappoint still clear in his voice.

"Then punish me!"

"I am punishing you." Ethan replies seriously. "I sent you away. I am not ready to call you back."

"Sir, please." I beg, feeling a knot in my stomach.

"I will not reward you with the pain you are craving to get over this! You deserve to feel what you are feeling and I will not be any part of helping you accept it!" Tears slip down my cheeks. "Do not come to me without explicated instruction of being permitted to do so ever again! If you do, I swear to you Alec I will kill you. The only exception is if you honestly believe someone's life is in danger. Am I making myself abundantly clear?"

"Yes Sir."

"You will not submit to any other person in hopes to seek this relief Alec. The only one who can provide you with the pain you are craving is me. I am denying you this relief, today, tomorrow and in a long future ahead. Do _not_ test me on this!" I swallow hard. "While I will never interfere with you dominating Bobby I honestly believe it will be a long while before even he trusts you like that again." I look away, knowing he is right. "You deserve the absence of this comfort. You deserve the feelings of regret that are going to hit you in waves. You will not harm yourself when they come."

"May I seek help? Therapy?" I ask, unable to look at him.

"Yes, but if you are prescribe anything I will be informed. I discourage medicine for it Alec. I want you to suffer unless you honestly cannot do so without self-harm or harming of others."

"How long will I be denied your presence Sir?"

"That is up to me now isn't it Slave." He replies coldly. "Kneel for me five minutes a day. Do it when you are alone and keep your eyes open so you know I am not there. Remember why. Text me at will but know I will rarely, if ever respond."

"Sir, please." I reach out to him but he steps back from me, causing emotional duress.

"Ethan? Man is everything alright in here?" a very good looking man asks, stepping into the living room. "I know you said to wait but it's been a while, I am just checking on you."

Ethan turns from me and walks up to him, kissing him on the lips, adding insult to my injuries. "Everything is fine sexy. My friend was just leaving." Ethan turns to me with a flash in his eyes. I so desperately want to defy him but I have never seen him like this. I watch as he lets the stranger wrap his arms around him and I force myself to leave his apartment.

I fight with my private jealousy and fear of abandonment all the way home. When I get there I remember Bobby wants me on the couch. Knowing sleep isn't going to happen tonight, I grab a book and laid on the couch, trying desperately to escape the reality of my life.

Days would pass before Bobby would even acknowledge me, Ethan still hasn't. Even then Bobby still keeps it civil. I have a long way to go to repair this. This is by far the worst punishment I have ever had. The only comfort I could hold onto was that at least Brad is trapped in his own damn mind. When the agony of my reality truly hits me, I decide to pay a staff member to stop by and talk to Brad every day, just in case he can hear them, telling him how happy Clayton is without him, in graphic detail. Petty I know but it gives me solace.

I kneel and text daily, hoping beyond hope Ethan will end this torture of separation. My hopes get dashed however when he does send one text, telling me he is taking the information I had given him seriously. And despite how things appear I am still his, protection and all. It hurt knowing this separation wasn't over but it was comforting none the less.

I don't know when this will end but I do know no matter how hard he tries, I will never fully regret it. Brad didn't die. And I made it very clear that no one, and I mean no one goes after those I love without paying the price. No matter the personal cost to me, protecting what is mine is worth it.


	5. Suspecious Minds

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright. Try it and I will SUE!**

 **Shattered**

 **Suspicious Minds**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

Skin grafts, I need skin grafts in order to walk again. I am still absorbing the reality of the pain of surgery and physical therapy I am enduring because some crazy bitch put people I care about in danger. Hell I am still absorbing the risk I took to save both their lives. And it was a risk. If it hadn't paid off Daniel would be dead and Mike would be alive. That was this psycho bitches plan. I had to choose, Daniel or Mike.

The conversation I just had with Daniel is not making since to me. How the hell can he be so forgiving? I would be pissed. Not understanding. Okay, I mean yeah I can see how he is okay with it to a point, it paid off, I did save them both. But people are human, we have emotions. He has been hiding his for a long time now, always just a little too understanding. Something isn't right. I can't place it but it's bugging me.

I count my heart beat a hundred times after I watch Daniel walk out of my hospital room. I have known the man for over four years at this point and he just blatantly lied to my face. I have had my suspensions that he has been hiding something but it wasn't until now that I am sure of it. Thing is I am not sure who to talk to. Normally I would lean on Mike or Alec for this but both of them would over react and go into protection mode and I wouldn't be able to get down to the truth that way. No I need someone I can not only trust, but someone who will trust me.

I reach for my cell and dial a number that I am unsure of the answer to, but I have to try. "Bobby, it's Clayton, I need to see you, today."

"Everything okay man?" he asks with concern.

"No." I answer truthfully.

Thirty minutes later he walks into my room. "Close the door." I tell him when I see him. I then hit the nurse call button and tell them I do not want to be disturbed. Bobby raises his eyebrow at that, "My privacy is well paid for in donations." I shrug.

"Want to tell me what the hell is so important that you don't want to be overheard?" Bobby asks.

"I think Daniel is hiding something."

"Something as in …?" he trails off, not fully meeting my eyes.

"Have you ever noticed he is too forgiving?" I question.

"Clayton you just went through an ordeal. I think you are seeing things that aren't there." He replies, finding a seat on the sofa couch next to my bed, pulling out his phone.

"Am I?" I challenge. "Brad and Cassandra together?"

"He was stalking Daniel, it would make sense he would have someone close by watching you." Bobby reasons, keeping his attention on his cell.

"Maybe." I frown. "Bobby I am telling you my gut is screaming here. Something is not right."

He looks up at me for a moment. "You talk to Alec about it?"

"Oh that's smart, let him try to protect me from those assholes even more. He damn near killed Brad for hurting me."

"Beyond pissed about that." Bobby responds, pocketing his phone. "What do you want me to do Clayton?"

"I don't know. I am not exactly trusting hired help these days." I frown. "Besides, Daniel would spook if my guys get caught. You are easier to explain and if you two confronted each other it would be fine."

"I'll see what I can find, if I can find anything at all." He shrugs standing up and heading for the door.

"Bobby Mark!" I glare at his retreating form, "what the fuck?"

"What?" He asks, looking over his shoulder confused.

"You are hiding something." I accuse.

"I am?" he replies looking nervous.

"You are." I affirm.

He gives me a look of guilt that a child does when their hand is caught in the cookie jar. "I don't know anything." He deflects. "But I have never personally trusted the guy."

"And you didn't say anything this whole time because?"

"Checked him out, couldn't find anything."

"Yet you let him into Angels of Justices without a fight?"

"Who said there wasn't a fight?" Bobby challenges. "Truth is he's known what you have known ever since." I give him a surprised look and he just shrugs me off. "I asked Alec that he keep him at a distance for a bit, that something felt off. I couldn't provide proof so we censored what he learned. Alec wasn't tolerating it for long, but then you got the shit kicked out of you by a baseball bat so he let me keep the censorship."

"So you cut me out?" I ask angry.

"Yes." He admits. "I am surprised you never noticed but then again you have been a bit busy with your heart. So tell me what triggered the removal of the rose colored glasses? Yeah okay he's too nice, but what is he too nice about exactly? "

"I chose Mike." I frown at that. "I mean, yeah my gamble paid off and all of it but at the end of the day to rescue my ex in hopes to save both instead of choosing my boyfriend for sure. Who wouldn't be a little pissed by that? I should have had a lot of damn apologizing to do and there he was, okay with it."

"Anything else?" Bobby asks.

"Lots of little things. I don't know I could just be paranoid."

"What are you afraid to find? Him cheating? Him having debts that he can't pay? Another stalker?"

"What if he joined the Untouchables in hope to get close to Alec and when that didn't work he jumped to the next best thing?"

"How could he have known you were close when he first met you?"

"Our scars." I open my hand. "Bobby they were created to stand out. Put us in the same room together . . . he wouldn't be the first to make the connection."

"You think he is after Alec?"

"You asked my worst fear, that is it. But all I can really tell you is he is hiding something and I want to know what the fuck it is."

"In the meantime?" Bobby asks. "Are you going to keep Daniel around?"

"Enemies close." I respond.

"You need to talk to Alec."

"Brad is two floors down." I remind him. "Alec is not stable enough for this unsupported paranoia. If he even thinks Daniel is to blame . . ."

"Fine. You win, for now. But promise me you won't do anything stupid Clayton. Alec will never forgive me if this costs your life." Bobby pleads.

"Don't worry. I know the perfect angle with Daniel, he will continue to stay blinded of my suspensions." I assure him.

"I need a favor in return." Bobby replies.

"What's that?"

"I am not okay with the way he reacted to Brad." He replies flexing his jaw. "He's going to need you because he is going to get the cold shoulder from me for a while. I get that you are pissed about it to, but I want this one. Let me be the ass, you be the shoulder."

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Thanks. I gotta go. Him and I need to talk."

When he walked out of that hospital room neither of us knew that finding what we were looking for was going to take as long as it did. So long that I began to question if it really was just paranoia. I let my guard down, Daniel

got in more than he should, stupid heart. Still that isn't my biggest regret. If I could change the past it would be this moment, Bobby's search simply wasn't worth the cost.


	6. Breaking Vowels

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright! Try it and I will sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Breaking Vowels**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

After a few weeks in the hospital. I was sent home to with physical therapy. Getting used to being in a wheelchair full time has been a pain in the ass. Not only at home but in my office as well. Daniel tried to keep me from going back to work too soon but damn it I was going stir crazy. I started out with half days and after that got old quickly I found myself in a routine.

Daniel seen my going back to work as a rejection and after helping convert our house into a wheelchair friendly environment he pretty much started traveling for work full time again. Mike was gone longer than I was and believe me I hated this place without him. The smallest details were getting missed and it was really pissing me off.

I went through three assistants before he returned. When he did finally come back everything magically fell into place again. But he keeps his distance from me when he can. Annoyed and hurt I realized it has a lot to do with the fact he was seeing someone. Again. Someone who has way too much debt and hates pizza. Who the hell hates pizza? This guy happens to be the sixth guy Mike has dated since I ended it, but he is also the guy who took a lot longer to run off.

I just strolled into work and finished my now necessary meetings with my assistant, to make sure my day runs halfway smooth when I find Mike walking into my office.

"Boss we need to talk!" He seeths, closing and locking my door. I stare at his angry face. Reluctantly I pick up my phone and have my assistant hold my calls and meetings. He walks up to my desk and crosses his arms over his chest. "I know it was you."

"What was me?" I ask, cautiously.

"He was a good guy Clay, why the fuck did you run him off?"

"You deserve better." I answer, opening my e-mail to avoid his eyes.

"I deserve you." He answers, causing me to hold my breath. "It hasn't escaped my notice you appear to be miserable lately."

"I'm in physical therapy. Miserable is expected." I answer, avoiding eye contact.

He leans forward, invading my personal space. "I meant what I said Clay, I will play nice until he hurts you again. Is he hurting you?" I don't reply. "Look at me Clay, is he hurting you?"

"No." I lie, glancing at him before I turn away. Uncomfortable, I move my wheelchair away from my desk and put some space between us.

"Are you sure? This childish act of chasing away a really good guy isn't your way of telling me you want to change your mind? Your way of asking me to wait?"

"The man had no life Mike, boring as hell. You deserve adventure." I reply, avoiding his question.

He closes the distance between us, putting his cheek directly on mine. "Are you asking me to wait?"

I swallow hard, battling demons. Things are not going okay with Daniel right now but that doesn't mean that I should give up just because it got hard. _Fuck he smells good._ "No."

"Do it again Clay and I won't be so forgiving." He pulls back, placing his lips on mine, then he grabs the back of my head and places my lips on his neck. Tempting as the offer is, I don't kiss or bite him. He lets me go and doesn't say another word, leaving me with conflicted thoughts as he retreats to his office.

I spend the rest of the day degrading myself. Mike has every right in the world to be pissed. But I can't seem to find it in me to feel bad about it. Mike was right, the guy was a good guy. Too good. Cookie cutter, suburban house with a white collar job and nice car type boring as hell. Mike doesn't understand it but he needs more in his life than a boring American dream man. I won't let him settle like that, I refuse. I care too much. _Care or love?_

My mind refuses to label it. All I know is it kills me to see Mike with other men. Not that I don't want him happy, I do. He deserves to be. And when I took Daniel back, I destroyed something beautiful. I know it is my fault. I know he has every right in the fucking world to move on. Yet I can't stop myself from "accidentally" running into these guys on the street and scaring them off. This is the first time he confronted me about it. There have been more. But this guy was more serious than the rest and it took a lot to get him gone. But in the end, everyone has a price. _Does Mike know about the rest? Why did he chose to confront me about this guy? Did he love him?_

I shake my head from my thoughts, trying to get through the rest of the day. I am drained by the time I go to physical therapy only to resist screaming as I let my physical therapist stretch my foot. I am so fucking sick of this. "I want to walk!" I snap when he stops.

"It's too soon." My therapist frowns. "Seriously, you try to walk and this graft will be destroyed and there is no guarantee you can get another. Besides, you don't want to start over."

I take a few painful breaths as he moves to stretch the other foot, cursing the day I ever met Casandra Lupin. She isn't the only one hurt from this mess though. While Daniel walked away with barely a scratch on him Mike, also paid dearly. Mike healed from his injuries long before I did there is permanent damage to his left leg that causes a slight lifetime limp. In addition, his back is pretty messed up and he can't lift things. I've tried apologizing to the man on more than one occasion but he just silences me, telling me that I saved his life, that's what mattered. To be honest, him and I bonded over it more than anything. Strange as the same experience seems to have torn apart Daniel and I. My heart is so confused that the reality of it all gives me constant migraines.

When I get home I am completely exhausted. My feet are sore as hell, wrapped in bandages. My head isn't in the best place and Daniel isn't even home. Frustrated that he is working late, again. I work on making myself something to eat.

Hours pass before I hear the door. Daniel walks in looking as tired as I feel. "Hey." I smile.

"Hey." He sighs heavily, tossing his keys on the counter. "Long day, I'm tired, going to bed."

"Seriously?" I ask annoyed. "Come on Daniel, we haven't spent much time together lately. I miss you. Aren't you flying out in the morning? Can we watch a movie, please?"

"Not tonight Clayton." He says, not even bothering to look at me. He walks toward me, doesn't bother with eye contact, "I do have an early flight. I'm sorry I am battling a headache. Good night." He pecks my cheek and walks away.

"Daniel." I call out after him but he ignores me. "Daniel!" I cry out, standing up, ignoring the pain. He turns and meets my eyes for the first time in months. "Please."

"Please what Clayton?" he asks. I take a step for him and scream out in fucking pain. "Clayton?"

"I'm fine." I snap, taking another step. "I just . . . ah fuck!" I collapse to my knees in agony.

"Clayton!" Daniel screams, running toward me. We both look at my feet and my bandages are stained with blood. "No, no, no." he bitches, picking me up, grabbing his keys and taking me straight to the hospital.

We don't say a word to each other the entire time. The doctors come in and confirm that the grafts are torn. They are admitting me and setting up a surgery first thing in the morning. I listen to their explanations that I pushed too far too soon and hear their warnings not to do it again. I thank the doctors on their way out. Daniel and I sit in silence for a long while.

"I'm sorry Clayton but I have a flight out in about two hours." He finally speaks.

"Do you have to?"

"Yes." He replies, avoiding eye contact.

"How long?" I ask, my stare boring into him.

"I don't know, week or two, maybe more. I'll call Alec for you, let him know what happened." He stands up and heads out the door before I can say another word.

I close my eyes and fight the tears. _What the hell is happening to us?_ I stare at the ceiling for a long while, battling demons in my head. I haven't seen Daniel's eyes since the day I got these skin grafts, until today. Today was the first time he has actually looked at me. And he only did it when I was on my feet. Shame washes over me. I can't be what he needs me to be when I am in a damn chair. I am failing him. It is my fault that I can't be his Master or his sub. I need my feet. And I just fucked that up, trying to be what he needs. Tears fall without my permission.

I don't sleep for the few hours I am alone. When it is near time for my surgery Alec shows up with a look of deep concern on his face. "Please don't." I beg, knowing he wants to give me a lecture.

"I'm worried." He responds taking my scarred hand in his. "Very worried."

"Can you do me a favor?" He looks at me worried. "Can you ask Mike to come? Please."

"Is that wise?" Alec asks, tracing my scar.

"Daniel was standing right where you are when the doctor's told me about my surgery today. Yet he chose to go who the fuck knows where for two weeks or more." I reply bitterly.

"Oh, believe me Clayton I am pissed." Alec responds, his eyes dark and flaring. "But asking Mike . . . are you leading him on?"

"Hey." I reply seeing pain in his eyes that can't be all about what is going on. "You okay?"

"You are about to have surgery." He deflects.

"Alec." I respond, only to be interrupted by the doctor who needs to prepare me for surgery.

"I'll be here when you wake up." He frowns, walking out of the room.

I watch him leave and then I do my best to distract myself. Flirting with the staff just to ignore the reality of my situation. I can't be more grateful for the anesthesia, at long last, I can sleep.

When I wake, my head hurts. I look around and find Alec, Bobby and Mike at my bedside. I give them a small smile and reach for my water. Alec helps me get the straw to my mouth. "Thanks." I grab the cup and put it back on the side table. "I appreciate you guys being here for me, I do."

"But you want to be alone." Bobby finishes for me. "Fat chance. But tonight, we'll let Mike take first watch." They both stand, "Get some rest Clayton."

I say nothing as they leave, knowing eventually I was going to have to face their questions but not today. My eyes meet Mike when we are alone. I say nothing, instead I scoot over and pat the bed. He gives me a half smile and climbs in next to me. I run my fingers through his hair, enjoying the comfort of him near me.

"He should be here."

"I know."

"Why isn't he?"

"I don't know."

"You deserve better." He whispers. "You deserve me." I swallow hard, looking down at him looking up at me. I give him a look of uncertainty but his eyes are full of determination, he grabs my head and pulls me into a soft, gentle kiss.

"I've already hurt you." I whisper, ending the kiss.

"You're not ready." He whispers understanding.

"Him and I have history. You are seeing the bad, but Mike there is a lot of good. Is that not worth fighting for?"

He wraps his hands in mine. "If you really want to fight for him Clay, you can't interfere in my personal life again. Whom I chose to be with is my business. The next time it happens, I will see it as a sign that you want to choose me."

"I'm not sorry for what I did." I respond, in a strong voice. "You deserve better than a boring life Mike."

"You deserve better than an absent boyfriend the day of a major surgery." He retorts.

The circle causes my head to hurt. "I know." I whisper, kissing the top of his head. "Can I ask a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Can we not fight right now? Can I please just be held?" I am surprised as he is about the vulnerability in my voice and my request.

"Yeah." He agrees, wrapping his arm around me. I haven't been held in so long, I forgot how good it feels. I find myself drifting off easily. And despite the illusion, content.

The weeks pass by slowly for me. Daniel doesn't call me and only sends a few texts. It hurts. I am so lost I don't know what to do anymore. I finally got Alec to talk to me, him and Bobby are mending slower that he would like. I get that but I also support Bobby in this. All I can do is be there for Alec, as he has been there for me. Which basically means Alec is hiding away at my house a lot, but I am not complaining. When Daniel finally does come home, I refuse to even acknowledge his presence. It takes him hours to figure out he is getting the silent treatment.

"Clayton." He frowns, closing my computer and sitting next to me. "It was a really complex shoot, I couldn't leave Ben hanging."

"They were able to place new skin grafts, not that you asked." I reply dryly.

"Why did you do it?" he asks, running his hands over his face.

"I wanted you to want me." I reply hurt. "I can't be your Master or a sub from this chair."

"I don't need that right now." He replies shaking his head.

"What do _you_ need?" I ask, annoyed at his selfishness. Did it even cross his mind that _I_ need it?

"You to heal." He replies. "I want you to stand up at our wedding and we can be us again." His phone pings and he pulls it out of his pocket, looks at it and then puts it down. "Don't do this again Clayton. We don't need to prolong this hell." He stands up, pays more attention to his phone and goes to his office. I sit there stunned. _That was it? Seriously?_

Time passes sideways from there. One moment he seems to want to focus on our relationship, the next he isn't giving a damn. One constant though is his phone, always pinging. When I ask him about it he tells me it is work but he forgets, I have studied him for years. I know when he is lying and I know every bit of his body language. It isn't work. He's cheating. Rather it be emotionally or physically or both, he is cheating. _And skirting the lines with Mike isn't?_

I try to deal with the fact of these growing suspensions and chalk it up to paranoia but it gets harder and harder to lie to myself. Not that I try to find out who is constantly texting him. I could do that easily but I really don't want to know. Besides, if I am wrong, what would it accomplish except to prove to him that he lost my trust, thus in turn losing his. _Has he?_ If I am right am he is fucking around then I am the one who brought us here. I am the one who chose Mike over him in a life or death situation. Something, he was at first all too forgiving over. Since he has proven he resents it, hell I can't blame him. I also know he resents that I will not kick Mike out of my life or my business. It is still a sore topic between us that I allow my ex-boyfriend to run my empire. So much so it is our go to fight. It irks me to no end. My business is mine and I will decide who is employed and who isn't; more or less their job responsibilities. Daniel is my fiancé not my business partner and right now, I question if marrying him is a good idea at all.

If he isn't cheating, whatever the hell is going on it is causing him to lose my respect. The longer this goes on, the more I feel it is over between us. The days of him wanting to be with me, versus the days he avoids me are fewer and fewer. He only seems to be supportive when there is progress. Any obstacles and he vanishes for weeks.

I try desperately to drown myself in work. It is the only safe haven in my life and it is the only way I can relax. My efforts have paid off and I have three new bands that I offer contracts to. At least something in my world is going right.

To avoid the long nights alone at home I find myself more and more at my parent's house. My mother is slowly dying before my eyes. It kills me to watch it but I move past that pain. Listening and recording stories of her life. Labeling pictures that she wants me to remember. Playing cards with her. She can tell I am stressed but I always brush her off by cooking something when it gets to personal, seems my cooking lessons with Alec paid off. She reminds me no man is worth my health and no man should have the right to hurt my heart. I shake my head and tell her not to worry, always cooking her favorite and silently pleading with her to let it go. Mostly she does. Time is too short for us to fight.

Angels of Justices has its own problems. The search for Dale Cole's sister is also proving fruitless. Not to mention that Alec fell to pieces the moment he realized that he actually knew her, hell I knew her. Her name is Faith, she's the cop that saved Alec from prison not so many years ago, and it just made the search for her that much more draining. Especially since this search brings in so much hope with false leads. It is Owen all over again. And I know for certain that Bobby took that search out of Alec's hands long ass time ago. But none of this stopped the pain.

Ben and Amber tie the knot. Which is one of the reasons why Daniel has been working more, so Amber and Ben could travel. When he told me I just nodded, adding it to the pile of excuses he uses for his absence; legitimate or not. Daniel seems to find any and every reason he can to suddenly disappear and be gone for hours or weeks, with no real explanation besides work. He never bothers to keep things within my reach or help me with my bandages or physical therapy. I have become nothing but a resentment to him. Though he denies it to my face, he says he wants me, yet he has done nothing, whatsoever to keep me.

Then Mike goes and pulls this shit with a new guy. When my P.I. tells me about him I ask him to verify the information. Not only is Mike's new boyfriend completely opposite of the last, he is a damn criminal. And not white collar shit either. The information pisses me off to no end. Then I discover he has a parole violation so I use that to get his ass away from Mike. No way in hell am I approving this shit, I don't care how damn pissed he gets at me. So finding him in my office the morning after this loser is locked up is not much of a surprise to me.

"Seriously?" he bitches.

"Don't pull that bullshit with me Walker, you did it on purpose." I seethe.

"You told me I should have adventure." He shrugs, causing me to glare. "Damn it Clay I'm not here because of him. I am here because you have chased off a total of seven now."

"Seven?" I question. "You have only confronted me twice now Mike."

"Don't be a smartass." He snaps.

"One night stands do not count as boyfriends." I mutter.

"They weren't meant to be one night stands!" he argues. "Stop it Clay, unless you want more. This ends."

"He was a fucking criminal!" I growl.

"The first guy I confronted you about, he meant something. He was an honest man." Mike argues, turning away.

"Yeah honest, so honest he could be bought." I argue. The look on his face makes me feel bad, just a little.

"Stay out of my personal life boss, unless you want me in yours." I have nothing to say to that. We stare each other down for a long while before he gets up and leaves my office.

I think about heeding his warning and I do attempt to stay away from the guys he chooses to date after that. But damn it all of them screw up. However, instead of personally interfering I make sure Mike finds out a bit more discreetly and choses to end the relationship on his terms. I figure there is nothing wrong with keeping him informed, it is what friends do for each other. I think he knows but he hasn't confronted me about it. So I take that as a satisfactory compromise.

Progress on my healing is slower than the last set of grafts. But it does progress. And as the sessions get easier I find that Daniel chooses to start to come around more. Don't get me wrong we had our fair share of fighting in between and I even called him out on being absent during my sessions because I need him. He seems to hear me, we seem to be healing. It's encouraging, spirit lifting. I am starting to feel like myself, I am starting to believe we can get through this. And then one of the sessions goes horribly wrong.

I am exhausted and trying to get to the other side of the bars. My trainer is concerned that I had enough but Daniel pushes for me to finish. "Just a few more steps." He cheers on. I smile at him, work with my strength and take a step. But my arms give out, causing more weight on my foot than I intended. I cry out and drop, putting too much weight on the other as I fall. I close my eyes, denying what I am about to see. I feel my therapist pull my feet out from under me. I force myself to open my eyes and feel broken when I see the blood. "Tell me it isn't both of them." I whisper, unsure if I can start over again.

"We need to get you to the hospital." My therapist frowns.

Daniel says nothing as he picks me up and drives me there. I get admitted and his phone becomes the source of his universe. I am too broken to care, both of the bandages on my feet are soaked with blood and I am contemplating the reality that I might never walk again. When my doctor walks in our eyes meet and he knows my spirit is crushed. He gently removes the bandages and studies what skin I have left. "I'm sorry Mr. Reynolds."

"So that's it. I pushed too hard and now I am in a chair for life?"

He studies my feet. "I can try another graft but I can't make any promises, there isn't a lot of skin to attach it to." I say nothing as he wraps my feet in new bandages. "If they hold, it's your last shot. If you do this again, you will lose your ability to walk."

The surgery is excruciating. My friends are by me and Daniel stays for three days before he takes off for work again. Alec is there the day I wake alone. "You will not give up Clayton." He warns.

"Why the fuck not?" I ask. "I can't do this."

"You can, you will." He answers tossing me a bottle of pills. I catch it and examine it, it isn't something my doctor has prescribed me. "It's a stronger dose of anti-depressants. I had Rachel write you the script. They won't interfere with your other meds."

"I hate pills." I bitch.

"You will take it Angel, because I am asking you to." He shakes his head. "And you are on self-destruction watch."

"I'm what?" I mutter.

"You are not being left alone until I am confident you won't do something stupid and hurt that precious skin on your feet."

"It takes months to heal Alec, many, many months."

"Then get ready to get sick of us all." He replies, undeterred.

"I hate you."

"Can't hate without love." He replies. "Get some rest, know you will not be alone."

He wasn't lying he really did make arrangements to keep me company. He even had Rachel, Kyle and Levi come by when Bobby, him, Mike or the girls, Lilly and Monica, could not. I was surprised to see them considering Chloe had custody of the Darkest Desires crew since our fight. But we were able to be civil with the rule that any topic with Chloe in it was off limits.

And then something strange happened. Ethan showed up at my house on a day when Alec was supposed to be there. "Just let me in." he shrugs, standing at my front door while I attempt to register the shock. Unsure what to say I motion my approval and he walks past my threshold.

"I need to know how he is doing." Ethan tells me.

"He should be here, ask him yourself." I respond, closing my door and turning my chair to face him.

"He has been ordered to delay his arrival by an hour." Ethan informs me.

"So you want something." I conclude.

"Yeah, to know how he is doing." Ethan repeats.

"Background information is always useful." I reply, completely confused.

"Right, sorry I forget, he doesn't talk to anyone about me." He walks into my living room and I follow him. He sits on my couch. "I thought about reaching out to you before now, but I've been so angry."

"Okay . . ."

"I punished him with separation." Ethan explains. "For his temper and how close he came to murder."

My eyes widen. "Wait back up…. You two haven't…."

"No."

"You realize Bobby has made sessions off limits. Ethan he can't function without it. I thought that he was at least getting it with you."

"Why would you assume he ever gets sessions from me?" Ethan asks.

"I am his soul mate. There are things that I can't explain except to say, I just know."

"But you didn't know it stopped?"

"I know he's been hurting. I also know Bobby and him have been hurting. Plus, hell I've been hurting. Forgive me for not being completely tuned in here."

"It's been months Ethan, tell me you are at least in touch with him." I frown.

"He can contact me, I haven't been responding."

"That's abandonment!" I snap.

"He needs to know where I stand when it comes to murder!"

"If you came here for advancing your approval rating with me, you sorely miscalculated!" I reply so angry I want to hit him. My mind flashing back to the time I did.

"I came because I might have found something on Daniel." I flex my knuckles but I keep my mouth shut. "It's an unreliable source, but there is a rumor out there that Daniel Kingsley is protected by my family."

"How does that happen?" I ask, fighting sudden nausea.

"It could be almost anything. He could have dated a family member, he could have made a deal, he could be owned in some way or he could be like you, simply know someone in that circumstance." I raise my eyebrow. "I am assuming you are aware you under my family's protection."

 _No, no I did not._ Trying to deflect the fact that I was oblivious to this, I turn the conversation back on course. "So you are telling me Daniel has something in his past that he has been hiding from all of us?"

"I am telling you Daniel had something happen in his past that he may or may not even be aware of." Ethan corrects. "Assuming this source is even reliable."

"Is your source tapped or have you discovered any more information on Faith? Owen? Cassandra perhaps?"

"Sorry." He replies. "I am trying."

The look in his eyes makes me believe him. Frustrated I turn my focus back on Alec. "How much longer are you going to let this abandonment continue?"

"I've been following Bobby's lead. Alec has been texting me daily. Him and Bobby seem to finally be getting past it. I have been thinking about allowing contact, but not a session." I give him a glare. "I won't hurt him with my temper Clayton. I never have and I am not starting now. Sessions are off limits until I am in the right mind set."

"Which you won't be until you allow him to see you. Ethan this is punishing both of you."

"I know you're right but I am surprised. I would have thought you would like the idea of me staying out of Alec's life."

"Oh believe me that wouldn't bother me in the slightest if it didn't bother Alec. But for some fucked up reason it does, and I am loyal to him."

"So much so you have never given him hell over Brad."

"Bobby was giving him that guilt trip. He needed a safe haven."

He looks at me for a moment before he surprises me. "Thank you." He studies his hands. "I love him Clayton. It absolutely kills me to be in the shadows of his life. And he has Bobby and he is so happy. I am happy for it but fuck it hurts."

"Well, now you know how I feel." I mutter. "He is free Ethan, his choices are his. If I had known I would have discouraged him from continuing with you after such a low life move. Abandonment is unacceptable. However, he is accepting it because he agrees he deserves it. Either forgive him or get the fuck out of his life before I destroy you."

"You're threats are not necessary." He replies, nodding his head. I turn and see Alec standing behind me, staring at Ethan. "Come Pet, sit with me."

"How long have you been there?" I ask Alec who dutifully sit next to Ethan.

"Long enough to know you are pissed at Ethan."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Which part? The fact that I still see him or the fact he wasn't wanting to even look at me for these past few months."

"Both." I reply hurt. "You must think very little of me if you believe that I would judge you for this." I glare at him. "This is your choice right? You freely chose to be with him?"

He looks me dead in the eye, "yes."

"Does Bobby know?"

"He knows there is someone, I haven't told him who."

"I do not like that." I reply honestly. "But if this is a free choice, you know where my loyalties lie. However, I do not agree with his decision to punish you like this."

"It hasn't been easy." Alec admits.

"It wasn't meant to be." Ethan responds, pulling Alec into him and wrapping his arms around him. "It's over Pet. No sessions yet but you are welcome to come to me anytime you like."

"Thank you." He whispers, relief washing over his body.

I give a weary smile. "I'm going to go do some work. As Alec will no doubt tell you I hate this damn babysitting and I refuse to entertain. There is food here but it your responsibility to feed yourself. Excuse me."

After that Ethan started showing up with Alec more and more. I mulled on the information that Ethan had given me about Daniel before I finally decided to trust someone with it. I wasn't ready to confront Daniel about it, nor was I ready to get Alec involved because then the entire gang of Angels of Justice would be eventually and I don't want to approach it that way. At least not without something to support this unreliable witness. Bobby agrees discreet is best at the moment.

Then of course I have the possibility of it running through my head. Is he protected? If so is he as innocent in that protection as I am? Or has he been hiding something our entire relationship? Does it even matter anymore? I don't need to be in a relationship with him to make sure Alec is safe. If you even can classify it as a relationship anymore. He has been so damn unsupportive I am ready to call it quits. I hate that things went like this. I thought that we were so strong but in the end Brad managed to get what he wanted. Daniel and I are so broken there is no putting us back together. I tell myself the next time he comes around, I am ending it. Unless he comes up with a miracle that can save us.

Three days after I decide it is practically over between Daniel and I am waiting for him to come back so I can tell him to his face; I find Mike in my office after a very long meeting with a new band. Mike's face and posture tells me all I need to know and I lock my door. Then I call my new assistant and tell her to hold my calls. When she asks 'why' I hang up on her. "Fuck I miss the way my office ran when you were in charge of it." I bitch to him.

"You couldn't find anything wrong with Sean so you offer him a job in Europe?" he asks, his arms crossed around his chest, getting straight to the point.

"About that." I start only to have him jump to his feet and lean over my desk, inches from me. I swallow hard. "Sit down Mike."

"No." he replies, his eyes a fiery liquid. "I told you the consequences of interfering."

I move my chair away from my desk to get space but he cuts me off by standing in front of my wheelchair and placing both hands on the arms and stares at me, keeping himself dangerously close to my lips. "There is a position that needs to be filled in Europe." I explain, "You would be a great fit."

The hurt that filters through his eyes as he processes the shock of my statement causes my heart to break. "What?" he asks in disbelief.

"This is me, trying Mike." I reply. "You deserve to move on and I won't break up something that is a good thing. This Sean guy seems like a good thing. He looks great on paper and you appear to be happy. I am being supportive here, but I can't watch it. I can't sit by and see you in this building happy with someone else. I probably could have, before all these surgeries, but right now, I just can't."

"You're sending me away?" He whispers in disbelief as a tear falls down his cheek. "Your office is in chaos without me and you are sending me away?"

"Mike."

"Damn it Clayton I love you. All you have to do is say the word and I am yours."

"And break Sean's heart?" I shake my head. "Don't. Take the job Mike, please."

"No."

"Mike."

"It's over between you and Daniel, Clayton. It has been for some time. Now I can see him trying to throw out a Hail Mary when he wakes the fuck up to your tail lights, he always was a coward like that." I give him a warning look. "I am not giving up this battle for your heart."

"There isn't much of a battle Mike." I frown. "Daniel and I . . ." I shake my head. "Brad won there I think. He destroyed something amazing. Maybe, I don't know. Daniel deserves the right to know he is losing me before I get gone." I keep my eyes down, not wanting to see the hurt that caused. I take a moment before I look at him. "There isn't a you and I, Mike. You've been with Sean for nearly a year now. You've been happy. He is good for you. You deserve this."

"I will not let you push me away. You know how I feel Clayton. Sean is a great guy, he does make me happy but you make me …" his eyes harden. "I'm in this rather my heart gets broken or not, I am in this."

"Mike."

"NO!" he screams, gripping my chair tighter. "Unless you tell me you are choosing him and prove to me he makes me happy, you don't get to push me away, not after everything. I get to decide when I bow out and I am NOT bowing out Clayton. Send Sean to Europe if you must, but if you attempt to transfer my ass, I will quit. I am not leaving the city. I am not giving up on us."

"And Sean?"

"I care for Sean and if you and Daniel were happy, if he was truly taking care of that heart that I love so much, I would accept this offer with grace. But fuck you Clayton Reynolds, I am not going to leave you miserable and most likely alone."

"Mike you are not understanding. I am giving Daniel one last chance. I can't promise I will chose you. You are risking a sure thing with Sean. Don't you see I am doing this because I love you?"

He responds by kissing me. I hesitate for just a moment but I find myself engulfed in him, hungry. I tear open his shirt and he straddles himself over me in my chair. He doesn't give me enough air to think. His hands are all over me. I do manage to break the kiss but he places my lips on his neck and I find my teeth sinking into his skin without my permission. I feel his fingers dig into me as I mark him. When I break away he looks at me. "Tell me you don't want me to." I gasp, shaking with the reality of what is going on. "Tell me no Clayton." He whispers in my ear slowly kissing down my neck, licking on a spot that is above the collar line of a dress shirt. "Last chance, say no."

I say nothing as my hands tangle in his hair and I gasp with shock when I feel his teeth sink into me. "Harder!" I demand in a rough voice keeping him there. He complies, sucking at my neck until it is painful. When he lets up. I stare at him only to kiss him again.

He breaks away from me violently, finding his weight on his feet. I say nothing as he catches his breath. "I'm sorry, it's just … Sean." I raise an eyebrow at him. "No, it's just … I'm not a cheater. I need to end it before that can happen again."

"Yeah I get that." I frown. "Daniel … this hasn't been easy Mike but he's a victim too."

He sighs, "You are still not ready."

"I'm ready for a change, I just don't know what that is." I admit.

"I get it." Mike answers, buttoning his shirt. "He coming home soon?"

"Couple of days."

"Was this a mistake?" he asks, straightening his tie.

"I don't know. Maybe." I roll my chair back to my desk. "I can offer Sean the same job here in the city. If you want to keep seeing him."

He sits down in one of my guest chairs. "What about the idea of an open relationship? If they are okay with it?"

"That is a set up for hurting people." I frown.

"People are going to get hurt either way." He shrugs.

"Yeah, we are already there aren't we?" I frown looking at the hickey I just left on his neck. "Let me talk to Daniel before you talk to Sean. I'll tell him the training is here in the city and the transfer in Europe is in the future. You can decide if and when he or both of you go."

"Daniel isn't going to take kindly to that hickey." Mike points out.

"I didn't stop you." I reply confidently. "How is Sean going to react?"

"He knows I have a Master, I will blame it on him." Mike shrugs.

"That will change if we work out." I warn. "Don't ever expect me to share you."

He smiles. "Well we will have to see if that ever becomes an issue now won't we." He checks his watch. "I have a meeting. Nice talk Clayton."

"Wait." He turns to me. "Call me Clay. I know you use Clayton when you and I are a couple but don't okay."

"Yeah I get it, Daniel will hate it." He shrugs turning to leave.

"No, it's not that." I respond causing him to pause again. "Clay is something I don't allow many people to call me … not even Alec."

"There's a story there." He accuses. "I hope one day to know it. Thank you for the honor, Clay." He looks at his watch again, and walks out of my office.

I spend the rest of the day thinking about what to do. Should I take Mike up on his offer and have us ditch both our guys? Would he really do it? I wouldn't, not after what I did to him the first time. God, I have been an asshole to him. But do I stick it out with Daniel? Has the bad outweighed the good? Should I just end it and stop dating all together? Fuck the world and start a world tour with these new bands? Fuck if that ain't tempting.

I am broken from my thoughts when my cell phone rings. I am surprised to see it's Daniel. I answer it without hesitation but it makes my stomach knot.

"How are you feeling today?" he asks.

"Same as every day." I reply, checking my e-mail while he talks.

"Baby, I know these setbacks are frustrating." Daniel sighs into the phone.

"I wouldn't use the word frustrating. I'm terrified. You heard the doctor Daniel, if I fuck this up again, I am going to lose the ability to walk."

"Yeah, I know." We are silent for a long while. "I can't come home this Saturday, work is chaotic and even Amber is stressed with this shoot. I'm sorry but I have to cancel with your ma'ma."

"There are more important things than work Daniel. You know she is fading. I need you, please."

"It's not that I don't want to Clayton, I just can't. My business reputation is on the line, I need to be here." He dismisses. "Have Alec take you. She is a strong woman I am sure she will be fine. Give her my best." I don't say anything to him, there isn't anything to say. "Don't give up okay, take care of yourself. I will be home when I can." He hangs up the phone without even a goodbye.


	7. Ryan

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright. Try it and I will SUE!**

 **Shattered**

 **Ryan**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

By the time Saturday rolls around I have decided that I am annoyed. Daniel's constant vanishing acts and blatant lies are tiresome. Ben being Daniel's crutch and helping him do it. Then there is Amber. Someone I used to consider a friend. She had ended her contract with Blackboard Entertainment not long after my accident. She did do a solid and all but hired her replacement but she pretty much exited my life. I don't know if it is her choosing sides in this or what but whatever it is, I know she is hiding something.

I am doing my best not to spin out on this and feel sorry for myself. My feet are in constant pain and I am surrounded by friends who worry about me. I am so sick of feeling this way I can only imagine how sick they are of hearing it. Change is going to happen, one way or the other. The moment Daniel gets back in town.

"I appreciate this Alec." I frown, buckling my seat belt. "I hate taking you away from Bobby so much lately."

"Nonsense." Alec argues, strapping in and starting the car. "We know how much your mom means to you."

"I should just hire a driver." I mutter.

"I believe a decision like that is the reason why you are in the predicament you are in." Alec sighs, heading out of my driveway. He was right of course had I never trusted the hired help then Daniel wouldn't have been kidnapped and my feet might not have ended up in a container of acid. "Besides," he shrugs, "you like to keep your private life private." I give him a smile to that, he was there the day I made a choice to do that and has been nothing but supportive even if it meant going out of his way a little.

"Still," I argue looking out the window, "Daniel should be doing this not you." He says nothing to that, instead he turns on the radio and takes my hand in his. "I should leave Alec." I frown fighting the damn tears. "I can't keep living like this, thinking he'll change once I can walk again."

"You need to talk to him Clayton."

"I'm trying but he rarely if ever comes home these days."

"I hate to see you this unhappy." Alec sighs. "Life's too short."

I don't respond. What is there to say? I know Alec would have never hurt me like this. If I could go back to the day that he had the courage to express his feelings, I would so react differently. I would let him in, hell I have, despite the fact he's happy with Bobby. Irony bit me hard on that one, the reason why I can't be with a man I love and I know loves me just as powerfully and faithfully is because he's committed to another, one that I encouraged him to love.

The rest of the drive is quite and though I know it annoys him he says nothing as I flip the radio trying to find something to calm me. But nothing will. Unless Daniel mans up. Wait I forgot, they don't serve ice water in hell.

"So how is Mike?"

I touch the hickey that is blatantly obvious on my neck, "Confusing." I shake my head. "He found someone he could move on with, I offered them both jobs in Europe."

"Europe?"

"It hurts to see him happy with another." I admit. "I already have that with you, I don't need it with him too."

"So he's leaving?"

"I don't know. We haven't decided anything." I shrug. "Can we not talk about this? I need to clear my head so my ma'ma doesn't worry about me." He takes my hand in his as a reply and I study the scenery flying by for the rest of the trip.

When we get to ma'ma's I notice a car in the drive but I don't recognize it. It doesn't surprise me, ma'ma is extremely ill and folks around town have been coming to say their farewells. I know I'm going to lose her any day now and there have been many of nights that I've cried myself asleep alone over it. The women is my world living without her is going to be extremely difficult.

Alec gets out of the car first and pops the trunk so he can get my wheel chair. I hate being this helpless but my family and friends have all been very supportive; well all of them except for Daniel.

When the chair is set Alec heaves me out of the car and places me in the chair. I give him a grateful smile but I don't meet his eyes. He squeezes my shoulders reassuringly and I move the chair up the sidewalk toward the house. As we're approaching, the door opens and the owner of the car steps out. I stop my chair abruptly causing Alec to trip and curse as he catches his weight on the handles. I don't apologize, I can't move. The man's eyes meet mine and the world stops completely.

"Clay?" he asks, his familiar voiced pained.

"Ryan." I answer stunned and immediately I feel Alec's hands on my shoulders, letting me know he's there. "What are you doing here?" I ask trying to wrap my mind around the situation.

"Come on Clay, don't be like that." He frowns, "Your mom is basically a second mother to me. I hate to seeing her like this."

I give a small nod, had it been his mother I would find myself at her door. "Thanks, for not letting things between us stop you."

He gives me a shrug and then frowns, "You've been in the rags Clay. How bad are you hurt?"

"Nothing I can't heal from." I shrug.

His gaze falls to the handles of my wheelchair and back to me. "Your boyfriend worth the trouble?"

I cast my eyes down to that, a few months ago I would have never hesitated but something's shifted with Daniel since then. "The tabloids are idiots." I snark, having found the leak and dealt with it months ago, "I was injured while rescuing Mike Walker, the head of my operations. I am sure you must remember him?"

He stares at me for a moment, then his hands, then back at me. "Clay…I was hoping to run into you." He stops seeming to debate what he wants to say, "I screwed up so bad. I've tried to move past you, fuck I've tried so hard but nothing compares. If I could take it back …we're soul mates Clay, true soul mates."

I couldn't believe my ears and if Alec's hands hadn't squeezed my shoulders so tightly I would have thought I heard him wrong. Too shocked to censor I respond, "I've met my soul mate Ryan…he's not you."

"Come on Clay, we're good together, being apart doesn't make either of us happy…look at you…Clay I would never hurt you like this!"

"You're fucking joking right?" Alec asks, his voice filled with anger.

I put my hand on Alec's trying to calm him, "Listen Ryan," I inject, "I'm not sure what to say to you. You made your choice a long time ago. And I'll be damned if I give up my career now for you or for any other man."

"I was an idiot Clay, please can't you forgive me for that?" he asks with tear filled eyes. "We belong together."

"No, Ryan we don't." I disagree, realizing for the first time that we really didn't. I have imagined this conversation in my head a thousand times for a thousand years and each ended with him and I back together. But to see him now, it's obvious to me that we both made the right decision back then and I would never change it.

I can tell he wants to say more but Alec moves to my side and distracts Ryan's attention long enough to think better of it. "You the guy that got him hurt?" Ryan growls.

"No." Alec responds coldly. "I'm the guy who taught him how to love again after you hurt him worse than this." Ryan takes a step back, Alec's words cut into him like a knife. "We should go inside Clayton, your mother is waiting."

"You always hated that name." Ryan frowns stepping aside.

"I'm not the man you once knew Ryan, I've grown."

"Are you happy? Because if you're not Clay then I will fight for you, for us." Ryan responds with determination.

"Even if I wasn't, I wouldn't choose you." I respond, pushing my chair forward. Alec steps in front of me quickly and opens the door. I don't look back and when I am sure he's closed and locked the door behind us I drop my head in my hands. Alec drops to his knees in front of me and just holds me, knowing that was one of the most difficult moments of my life. I pull him closer and whisper so softly hoping he can't hear, "I'm so sorry Angel, you're the one, you've always been the one." I can feel him tense and I imagine him pulling me into him and kissing me, letting me know he loves and wants me too. But reality is harsh when he pulls away and out of reach, squeezing my hands and avoiding my eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…." I sigh before clearing my throat and wheeling away from him to my ma'ma's room.

Normally my parents had a room upstairs but since my ma'ma has fallen so ill and I've been unable to walk she asked daddy to convert the den into a room. I make my way to the door entry and knock lightly. "Clay sweet heart come here." Ma'ma smiles weakly, attempting to wave me in. My heart shatters to see her like this.

"Ma'ma." I whisper, my voice cracking.

"Don't you cry over me now." She smiles, wiping tears off my cheeks. "I've had a good life, raised a great son." She smiles. "We all have to go home Clay but know I'm always here." She weakly presses her hands to my heart. "It's time to say goodbye sweetheart."

"Ma'ma?" I ask in disbelief, but she just smiles weakly. "Alec! Get daddy!" I scream in a panic grabbing her hand. I can hear Alec's frantic footsteps on the stairs. "Ma'ma I don't want to say goodbye." I cry selfishly.

"Hush now." She smiles weakly, "You'll see me again." My daddy and Alec rush into the room and ma'ma reaches out for Daddy's hand. He takes it and instantly breaks down in tears. "I love you both, take care of each other, I'll see you on the other side."

"I love you ma'ma." I cry the same time my Daddy speaks his love. She squeezes our hands one last time and we can hear her take her last breath and then she's gone. I can't stop the tears and the feel of Alec's strong arms lets me know it's okay to cry. I lose track of time as I let him hold me, soaking his shirt and gripping Daddy's hand; it hurts so fucking much. After some time Daddy sits up. "I'll call the doctor son. Make the arrangements."

"I can take care of that Daddy." I argue through the pain.

"No, son." He smiles, stopping the grandfather's clock. "She's my better half, let me… I need to do this." I just nod and he walks out of the room.

I take ma'ma's hands and put them gently to her sides. "I'm gonna be lost without her Alec."

"You have us Clayton." He says squeezing me gently. "I know it's not the same but you are loved."

I look up and can see he too has been crying and I place my forehead on his. "Thank you Angel."

His reaction surprises me and he pulls me to him and kisses my lips ever so softly before he pulls away. Then he takes my hand and traces the scare I made long ago. "You will always be a part of me Clayton, I know you're hurting and I know that pain has caused you to reflect … I can't give you want you want, but I can love you and I can be in your life. I will never push you away Clayton." He puts his scarred hand in mine, "We're soul mates, destined to be in each other's lives supporting and loving. But we both have mates Clayton, you love Daniel . . ." I give him a harsh look and he squeezes our hands, "I love Bobby. Clayton, I couldn't hurt him like that. But I would fall to pieces if I lost you because of it."

"Hey." I whisper, pulling him back to me. "Don't Alec please, I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry. Ryan threw me."

He rubs his fingers up and down my back and whispers in my ear. "I love you Clayton."

Daddy walks back in and the room falls silent. Eventually the doctor's show and after my protests I find myself leaving Daddy alone. Unwilling to let him stay by himself completely I call our pastor and let him know about ma'ma's passing. He gives his condolences and assures that him and the members will check in on Daddy throughout the week. Alec takes me back to his place, refusing to let me stay alone myself.

When we get inside Bobby and Alec exchange a look and the next thing I know I'm being lifted out of my wheelchair and carried over to Alec and Bobby's bed. "I'm sorry Clayton." Bobby frowns, "I know you two were close." I say nothing and let them freight over my feet bandages and then they both climb into bed, putting Alec in the middle. I can't think, I can't feel any real emotion … I'm numb. I let myself cry until finally I sleep.


	8. Stepping In

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright. Try it and I will sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Stepping In**

 **Alec's Point of View**

When Clayton finally sleeps I give it time to make sure he's going to be alright before I wake Bobby and point to the bedroom door. He understands and we leave Clayton to his dreams and go into the living room. "I need to go get Daniel."

"You could call him." Bobby shrugs.

"It's more complicated than that." I frown. "Clayton's talking about leaving him."

Bobby's isn't surprised at this, Daniel hasn't exactly been around much if at all and we both have wondered why Clayton has put up with this shit as long as he has. "We ran into Ryan today." I frown, taking Bobby's hands.

"Ryan...?" Bobby asks and I give him a small smile.

"The man who hardened Clayton's heart."

Bobby's eyes show understanding, "Ah the guy before you."

"We never dated." I snap only to get a 'yeah right' look from Bobby that I ignore and continue. "Ryan asked him for a second chance."

"Wow okay, left field." Bobby frowns. "What happened?"

"Clayton told him to move on."

"And?" Bobby asks touching my face, always knowing when I'm holding something back.

"Ryan used the words soul mate." I frown, meeting his eyes. "Clayton was pretty shaken up afterward Bobby and…" I lick my lips. "He told me I was the one." Bobby's eyes show immediate hurt and pain and I feel him withdrawal his hand. "No Bobby." I frown, grabbing his hands and moving to sit on his lap putting my face directly in his line of sight.

"I can't compete with him Alec." Bobby sighs, fighting tears, "I know he holds more of your heart than I do."

"Maybe that was true in the beginning." I argue, ducking and dodging to regain eye contact with him. "But not now love." I whisper. "I told Clayton while I will always want him in my life, agreeing that we are soul mates in the sense that we are happier when we are together supporting and loving each other but he's not my mate Bobby, you are. I love you. I chose you."

He pulls me so tight that it takes effort to breathe but I don't fight against him. Instead I move to kiss his ear. "I'm yours love."

I can hear his breath catch and I kiss down his jaw line until our lips are meeting. The joining kiss is slow, passionate, hungry. Our fingers glide over each other's form, ignoring the clothes that are keeping us from each other's touch. It feels as though time has slowed somehow, I am aware of his every breath as his eyes lock to mine. Carefully we undress each other, caringly we bring each other into our arms.

He rubs his hands down my cheek gently, questioning if I meant the words that spilled from my lips, from what now feels like hours ago. My reflecting stare is confident, assuring. I can tell this frightens him somehow. And that is when I realize it, he has always considered himself a place holder, someone who would eventually be discarded when fate finally took its course.

"You are not dispensable, love." I whisper, rubbing my dick in lube. I can see him doubting my words but I persist, pressing into him, "You are irreparable."

"Alec." He protests, his breath getting stuck in his throat.

"The love of my life." I clarify, in a stern tone.

He shakes his head in disbelief, studying my eyes, looking for doubt that he doesn't find. "Alec." He gasps, pulling me closer to him.

The rest of the world experiences a passage of time, but for us, that moment was engraved in the history of our lives, that will never be forgotten. Tender, loving, true.

Neither of us really slept that night. But my phone did bring us back to the reality that a new day has dawned. "I should go before he wakes." I moan in annoyance.

"I don't want this to end." He protests, curling into him.

"It will never end." I assure him, kissing him lightly. "I won't be long and always remember, I'm coming home to you."

He breaks the kiss, his eyes showing less doubt than last night and goes and makes coffee. I quietly sneak into my bedroom and find Clayton still passed out. I grab some clothes and my toothbrush and paste and leave him be. Quickly I get ready for my day in the hall bathroom before having a morning cup of coffee with Bobby. While I was getting ready he had texted Ben and asked where they were shooting. I thank him for his help and head out for the airport.

The flight sucks as all air flights do. And it gives me way too much time to think going over the events of the past twenty-four hours, wondering when my heart shifted, even if I was a free man, Bobby is the man I chose to be with in a runaway scenario. Bobby had every right in the world to react the way he did last night, my feelings for Clayton have never been a secret between us and him changing his mind has always been a risk. A risk that neither of us thought was possible until he said he loved me. But even then he was with Daniel and that burned. God I went home that night a flipping mess, even after Ethan calmed me down, and Bobby was there and I felt so guilty crying on his shoulder but he stood strong and loved me, both physically and emotionally. Even after Clayton showed up at our door trying to explain. I made my mind up that day and chose Bobby. I realize now it wasn't just because running away wasn't possible. Or because I doubted Clayton's seriousness. He wouldn't pick up his life for me or any other guy. Not to mention, we would both be hurting people we cared about and the guilt of that would have never made us work out, causing four people to be hurt and alone. But if he was serious? At the time, I told myself if I knew he meant it then I would run to him. But yesterday I knew he meant it. And yet when he spoke the words I once longed to genuinely hear, I found my thoughts flood with Bobby and if I am being honest, of Ethan too. I was too stunned to say a thing and Clayton was kind enough to not make me. But I found that I needed to make myself clear, clear that Clayton and I would never be, clear that I loved Bobby, and clear that I wanted Clayto happy.

Which is why I am on this damn plane trying to exit this crowded plane, so I could hunt down his idiot boyfriend and set him straight. God, what I do for Clayton; I hate Daniel, I don't trust him. Yet even after being treated like shit forever, Clayton hangs on. It bothers me to no end that Clayton tolerates being treated like this. And the guilt the man carries for taking a risk of saving two people … Grr there are so many reasons why I should kick Daniel's ass or simply not interfere. But if I didn't, what kind of soul mate friend would I be? Clayton has to make this choice, one way or the other and the only way he can do that is if the guy is there. I have to do what I can to at least try; no matter how much I hate it.

I didn't pack any luggage except my carry on, I wasn't expecting to stay long and once I was finally out of the airport I hailed a cab and gave him my destination. When I make it to the shoot I am greeted by security. "Alec Impavido, Ben should be expecting me." I smile, handing them my I.D. the guy checks some list and give me the green light. I pay the taxi to wait for me and get out. I walk up to the crowd and try to sort out who's who. Finally I hear Daniel's voice talking about lighting or whatever and I walk toward it. I find him and Ben sitting in some director chairs talking to each other. "Hate to interrupt but I need you Kinsley."

Daniel turns to me abruptly, his expression showing shock. "What's wrong Alec?" he asks going pale.

I look around and back at him. "You got a place to talk?"

His eyes narrow and Ben tells him he can continue without him. Not saying anything he gets up and walks toward a line of trailers. I follow him wordlessly, he opens a door of an elaborate bus and I follow him in. "Is Clayton alright?"

"He hasn't called you?"

"No." he shrugs, pulling out an iced tea from his fridge and offering me one. I take it with a frown. "Something go wrong with his skin grafts?"

"No." I frown, opening the tea wondering where I should start. "He ran into Ryan."

"Who's Ryan?" Daniel asks confused.

I look at him like he has ten heads. "He's told you about his past hasn't he Daniel?"

"He told me about you." He answers, with a glare. "Who's Ryan?"

"The guy who made Clayton choose between him and his fame." I answer coldly.

"Oh that prick." Daniel shrugs. "What happened, he ignore Clayton completely?"

I put my tea down on the coffee table and put my head in my hands realizing instantly that Clayton's never really let him in, and wondering if I have made a massive mistake by coming here. "He ever tell you anymore about the guy?" I ask stalling, wondering if I should be saying anything more.

"No." Daniel responds, catching on that he's missing critical information. "What's going on Alec?"

"You know what, forget I mentioned it alright, it's not my place." I mutter thinking better of it.

"You fly over six states, tell me my fiancé ran into an ex and when I don't react you change your mind about being here?" he asks getting angry. "What am I missing Alec?"

"That isn't why I am here." I dismiss, meeting his eyes. "Clayton's mother died last night." I inform him. "We were there when she let go." Daniel's anger melts instantly and pain crosses his face. "It shouldn't have been me Daniel." I continue, "I have no idea what the hell has gotten into your ass lately but Clayton and his mom were tight. And for you to constantly blow him off when he asked you to take him to see her…Do you have any inkling of how close you are to losing him? You should have been there Daniel, not me."

"Where is he now?" Daniel asks.

"With Bobby." I answer. "I didn't want him alone so I took him back to my place."

"Thank you." He whispers.

"For what part? Being there when you weren't or for flying my ass here to tell you because he's too fucked up to pick up a phone?" I growl bitterly.

"You could have called." He responds, finishing his tea.

Pissed I jump him, grabbing him by his shirt collar and slamming him into the wall. "Listen to me very closely." I growl. "This last skin graft that Clayton is enduring is your fucking fault!" His shock wears off and he's about to argue but I just put my weight into him. "Shut the fuck up Kingsley!" I growl in no mood for his excuses. "Every fucking time you come home you look at him differently, your eyes filled with guilt or some shit. You push him to walk and he does, against doctor's orders and has constant setbacks. You were there when the doctor warned him that if he does it again then the odds of him being able to walk again are zilch. Now either you grow a set of fucking balls and become the supportive fucking spouse you swear you so desperately want to be or you fucking walk out Kingsley! He's my best fucking friend and I won't let you hurt him like this! Am I making myself clear!" I snap, releasing him.

"Best friend?" he snaps fighting back. "Is that what you call it? Tell me why the fuck your best friend refuses to share vows with me! Why he calls out your name in his sleep! Why despite his medication that makes him flaccid that those dreams of you can get him going and my touch can't. Tell me how the fuck I'm supposed to compete with you when you know him so much better than I do? I knew he was pushing himself but fuck I didn't realize…"

"You're never there!" I yell.

"You are!" he yells in a jealous rage.

"Someone needs to be Daniel." I argue, losing patience.

"You come here to warn me that this Ryan guy might have a shot? Some creep who left him for who he is? Is it Ryan I should be worried about or you?" he asks bitterly.

"If I were a threat you fucking idiot you would have lost him a long ass time ago!" I growl pissed. He's known about Clayton and I from the beginning this fucking insecurity shit doesn't fly with either of us. "You tell Clayton you're worried about me?" I challenge, giving him a smug smirk at his facial expression, "Yeah didn't think so. He'd walk in a heartbeat, he always has." I take a drink of my tea, "Want to know why Clayton and I didn't work out Daniel?" I raise my eyebrow at him and shake my head, "I couldn't compete with the _ghost_ of Ryan." I let that settle in for a moment, swallowing the rest of my tea before looking back at him. "I was there when Ryan told Clayton he's going to fight for him if he's not happy. So you fucking tell me, is Ryan a threat?" Daniel continues to stare at me speechless. I can see the conflict in his eyes. He wants to tell me that there is no way in hell that Clayton would leave him. "Either step the fuck up or move the fuck out Kingsley. Clayton's feet aren't the only thing that needs healing."

I jerk the trailer door open without waiting for his response. I am in no mood for a Daniel pity party and fucking excuses. Truth was I'm fucking pissed I'm six states away from my best friend when he's hurting this bad. I'm only doing it because I remember how broken he was the last time those two split. I stop in my tracks and frown, wondering if I ran to the wrong man, maybe Mike would have been the healthier option? Wanting to get out of here I find my way back to Ben, only to find myself waiting for him to complete a scene to end. Before I can talk myself out of it I pull out my phone and call Mike's personal cell number; when he answers I say nothing and hang up. I knew he would get the message, it is something him and I have been doing for years, though admittedly he was usually the one calling me telling me he was worried about Clayton, not the other way around.

"Hey Alec everything okay?" Ben asks, squeezing my shoulder as I pocket my phone.

"I just came to tell Daniel that, Clayton's mom died." I answer.

Ben frowns, "Ouch. How is he?"

"As best as can be expected." I shrug. "Listen, it's not the only reason I came. Daniel's about to lose him Ben. One best friend to the other, I thought you should know."

"I knew they were rocky but lose him?" Ben asks looking at me skeptical.

"I've known Clayton for a very long time Ben." I frown. "If they get any thinner, Clayton will run and I honestly believe there will be no going back this time."

"Shit." Ben frowns. "You realize Daniel feels responsible for all this pain? That he can't seem to face it and the fact we haven't been able to catch Cassandra is doing nothing to help that. He's scared Alec, really scared."

"I'm aware of the circumstances Ben." I frown. "But he needs to accept Clayton doesn't blame him, that he needs him before he loses him." I look back to the trailers, "I've done what I could to set him straight but Daniel needs you, not me."

"Thanks man." He smiles, "I'll get things wrapped up here so the funeral won't be an issue. And if I have to, I'll kick his ass."

"Thanks." I shrug, walking back to my waiting taxi.

"Wait!" Daniel calls after me. I notice him and Ben exchange a look causing Ben to nod. "I'm coming with you. Clayton needs me."


	9. Enough

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright. Try it and I will SUE!**

 **Shattered**

 **Enough**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

The numbness follows me into the next day and I don't bother even trying to leave the bed that's not mine. I don't speak to Bobby as he checks in on me and tends to my bandages throughout the day. I'm curious where Alec is but I don't have the energy to ask. I don't even have the energy to call my assistant to let them know I wouldn't be in. I had a feeling in the back of my mind it would be taken care of. Memories of my life flood me as I think about ma'ma. Most of them involve the trouble Ryan and I got into and some of them involve Alec. Very few involve Daniel.

I find myself crying again as I think about how fucked up life has been lately. I can't help but question as to why Daniel pulled away. Was it because his ex put us in such a deadly situation? Was it because he realized the nature of my relationship with Mike? Was it honestly just because I chose Mike over him in a risk move on a deadly situation? He has made it clear that on some level he thinks I deserve the pain of that choice. Or does guilt play a part too? After all it is his past that has temporarily crippled me. God the way he looks at me in that chair is so heartbreaking. I can't stand it so I fight against it and manage to make it worse. I've postponed our wedding date twice now because I want to stand up with him. There is no way I could marry him in this chair, only because of the way he looks at me when I'm in it. That's not what I want to commit the rest of my life to. Fuck how did we get here? I loved him so much but I am too damn exhausted to keep this going.

Bobby comes in as I contemplate my resolve on ending it with Daniel. Needing a distraction from the loop in my head, I turn to him as he checks my feet. "Thank you."

He looks up from my dressings. "Losing one's parent is never easy." Bobby shrugs directing his attention back to my feet.

"You've lost a parent?" I ask sitting up on my elbow.

"Both." He shrugs. "Car accident, icy roads. I was nine."

"I'm sorry Bobby." I frown.

"Don't be it was a long time ago." He smiles sadly. "Clayton…you'll get used to the pain of this. But it's not going to go away."

I shake my head, watching him switch feet and work in silence. "Alec tell you everything?"

"He always does." Bobby frowns. "No matter how much the truth hurts."

"I'm sorry." I whisper. "I should have kept my mouth shut."

He stops what he's doing for a moment before he continues his task and speaks to my feet. "I always knew this day would come for you. Honestly, I was expecting Alec to run straight to you when it did. He surprised me, choosing me. Not that I'm not happy about it but I am surprised." He looks at me. "I don't want things to get weird between us Clayton. We've been through a lot together and yours and Alec's feelings have always been known. I just ask you respect his choice. If you can do that then it is what it is."

"I've always and will forever respect his choices Bobby." I assure him. "You make him happy, happier than I ever could. You two are and always have been solid. There's no guessing with you, no drama, and I'm glad he has that. He deserves you."

"Thanks." He says smiling a bit. "It's not my business Clayton but you deserve more than Daniel's giving you. Watching from the sidelines as this collapses around you, well isn't killing just Alec."

I take his hand and he frowns. "I want you to be just as happy as Alec is. Are you sure Daniel can do that?"

"I don't' know anymore Bobby." I answer truthfully. "He used to make my heart sore."

"You are using past tense." Bobby points out putting my feet back under the covers. "You were happy with Ryan in the past and you told him to take a flying fuck."

"That's different." I mutter not wanting to think about Ryan.

"Is it?" Bobby asks. "Hell Clayton you were happier with your flings than you've been with Daniel lately. You were happy with Mike and I know that man's still hoping you change your mind. He sees this too you know, and it's taken a lot for him to keep his mouth shut. He wants to support you Clayton but this pain is hurting all of us."

I toss my head back on the pillow and stare at the ceiling. "At one time I thought Daniel was the one Bobby. I realize now that he's not, but that doesn't mean I don't love him." I swallow hard. "I just can't decide if it's enough."

"If you are questioning it. It's not." He answers. "Get some more rest Clayton." Bobby frowns, "your dad has scheduled the wake for tomorrow; you're going to need your strength."

"Thank you Bobby, for everything." I frown, pulling the covers up tighter, he says nothing, turns out the light and sleep soon overtakes me.

I'm awakened by a familiar touch and I smile when I see him, trying to fight the grogginess. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." He frowns. "How are you doing?"

"Had better days." I mutter.

He takes my hands in his. "She was a nice woman, always stopped to talk to me before I transferred her in." He smiles, "Always gave the best advice."

"You knew ma'ma?" I ask surprised, sitting up.

"Only on the phone."

I squeeze his hand, "I shouldn't be surprised. Explains how she always knew something was bugging me."

"Guilty." He blushes. "Sorry man but your ma'ma was a force." I laugh out loud to that. He kicks off his shoes and gets comfortable on the bed. "So, tell me about her and don't leave anything out."

I give him a warm smile before I oblige him starting with her birth and telling everything I know about her and how much trouble I used to get into to. I find talking about her helps and soon Mike and I are lying next to each other as I'm reliving treasured memories. After a long while I fall silent, as a fresh wave or reality washes over me and Mike pulls me into him, letting me cry. "I miss her so much already." I mumble into his chest and he just pulls me tighter until my tears run dry. When I pull away I apologize.

"Nothing to be sorry for Clay." He shrugs. "Where is Daniel?"

"Work." I frown.

"He know?"

"I assume so, same way you do." I frown, realizing it never crossed my mind to call him.

"Alec didn't tell me anything. I had to ping your phone to find out where you were. Bobby told me about your ma'ma. I am really sorry Clay. Know that I am here for you, however you need me to be."

"Thank you."

He picks at the comforter and then looks at me. "He's your fiancé, he should be here." I close my eyes to that. "You're a man who deserves to be respected, cared for, loved. Had it been him Clay, not even Ben would know how to treat skin graft bandages, you would have taken it upon yourself instead of running away and needing to rely on his friends." I turn away as though he slapped me, I have no argument to it and fuck does that hurt. "Are you pissed that I want to fight for us?" he asks his voice suddenly full of vulnerability.

"No." I respond, truthfully. "If anything I'm pissed that I've hurt you." And fuck had I hurt him. There are days I honestly believe that was the wrong choice, and those days are becoming more frequent, "Mike if I do end up agreeing to all of this … I can't promise I won't chose him. Do you want that? Do you want to set yourself up for more pain? Could our friendship survive it?" Truth was I want to choose him, today, but if Daniel woke up tomorrow and was the man I knew before all of this, I would be so confused I don't know what my heart would do.

"Is there a chance for us Clay? Any chance at all?" he asks, pulling me into him.

"Yes." I answer hating that it's the truth.

"Then we'll survive it handsome." He whispers kissing my neck. "No matter the outcome we are friends."

I turn to him then, meeting his eyes, letting him see how broken I am. His warm hand touches my cheek and I find myself gravitating toward his lips, kissing him gently. I try to deepen it but he stops. "Soon Clay but you need to get through this funeral first." I shake my head and give him a grateful smile. "Clay?"

"Yeah Mike." I ask seeing the conflict in his eyes.

"I know you don't want to share." My body tenses at the mention of that and he continues, "I'm only a sub Clay. If we get to the point I'm hoping we do, I can only be a sub."

"I'm a switch Mike. I do crave the submissive role myself. If we get there, we will work it out, I swear."

"To be clear I have no intention of picking up where we left off." He answers evenly. "I'm fighting for you. I want you as my husband and my Master."

"Mike I don't want to hurt you." I respond cautiously.

"Then don't hurt me Clay." He whispers pressing his lips to mine. "I know what I'm signing up for. I know if he chooses to fight, the odds are against me handsome," he assures me before moving his lips to my ear, "But we're worth it." He pulls back and sits up. "I need to go, it's getting late and believe it or not the office doesn't run itself."

I give him a small chuckle. "Seriously fired three this week for thinking your absence meant they could get away with shit. Found a chick passed out cold drooling on her desk. I woke her and asked for a doctor's note for her illness. She couldn't provide one so I fired her."

I glare at that. "Make sure she can't get hired at any respectable company in the industry."

"Already done." He winks. "The two others just didn't make the cut as your assistances."

I moan. "Come on Mike we've agreed that it's a two person job so we wouldn't go through this shit."

"Yeah and those two took a two hour lunch together. Can you believe they questioned if I had the right to fire them? And they asked me what the big deal was as your schedule was cleared anyway." He rolls his eyes, "Don't worry, I explained in full detail as to what the big deal was and proved my authority." He sighs. "Don't kill me for saying this Clay but it's just not working. You said it yourself. Besides, I still do half that job myself because I don't trust the newbies with your personal information. And we run through newbies like water."

"I am not demoting you Mike." I mutter with exhaustion, this has been almost a constant topic since I gave Mike his promotion. "Contrary to the evidence, you are replaceable."

He laughs at my pout. "I think we're getting there. I like the two man idea for you but I think one of them should be a secretary and one a personal assistant."

"And you want to be my personal assistant." I mutter. "The job I promoted you out of. Come on Mike you have plenty of work to do without being my assistant."

"Amen." He laughs. "But it doesn't work Clay. Let me hire more help for my job so I can work with you more regularly."

"You know one of the reasons why I threw you to the sharks with the job you earned right?" I glare. "This was my goal Mike but I had planned on giving you some time to train into it. Not that you aren't doing a great job I just need you to know you really did earn it."

"Thanks boss. And I'm aware it makes him uncomfortable." He frowns. "But even if you two do work out this isn't about our personal lives Clay this is about Blackboard Entertainment."

"And if I chose him could you continue to be my personal assistant?" I ask hating that I'm mixing my personal life with my professional.

"I'll write up a contract if you want." He shrugs. "But things are slipping Clay, people are sleeping on the job for fucksake."

"I'll be in first thing Monday." I sigh. "Have a company wide meeting set up. Obviously I need to make a few things clear. And if you want it Mike the job is yours, in all honesty I'm sick of the damn slips and errors. I'd enjoy having my office back in running order."

"Thanks." He smiles.

"Two things." I warn. "The secretary has to be someone you are not interested in sexually and signs a stricter non-disclosure agreement." He looks at me curious but I just shrug and he laughs in understanding, getting caught with our literal pants down is not something I want the world to know about.

"And the other?" he asks.

"Try not to break up with Sean unless you are damn sure about you and I."

"That's up to him." He shrugs getting onto his feet. "Seriously leaving now, I'm starving."

I look at the clock and frown. "It's late."

"What's wrong handsome?" Mike asks, detecting the worry in my voice.

"Nothing, it's just, I haven't seen Alec all day."

"Day's not over Clay." He smiles giving me a wink and then leaving me be.

I throw myself back onto the pillow spinning a little from what just happened. But I don't feel guilty about it and that tells me that it's probably the right thing to do. I can't stop from smiling though, realizing ma'ma is probably smiling, knowing I'm putting my heart before anyone elses, no matter the consequences.

I moan as I force myself to sit up, telling Daniel is going to suck. Needing to get out of this bed I look around for my chair but I don't see it. I pull my feet to me and check my bandages, they seem dry enough but I'm sure Bobby will be in here to check them. Not wanting to wait I call out to him. "BOBBY!" Moments later he opens the door with a smile. "Can I have my chair please?"

"No problem." He shrugs walking up to me and examining my feet. He comes to the same conclusion I did and leaves to get the chair. I look at it then him. "Fuck Bobby hate to ask but I really need to piss."

"Don't go all bashful on me now Clayton." He shrugs picking me up off the bed and onto the toilet seat. I give him a grateful smile before he closes the door and I work my pants to slide out from under me to do my business reaching sideways on the sink to wash my hands. When this awkward task is finally complete and I'm redressed, I call out to him and he puts me in the chair.

"Where's Alec?" I ask directing the chair out of his room and down the hall.

"He'll be here soon." Bobby assures me. "Dinner's almost ready, I made spaghetti."

"Thanks." I smile.

"How was your visit with Mike?" he asks going back to his task of cooking dinner.

"Refreshing." I smile. "I didn't realize he knew ma'ma." Bobby looks at me sideways. "I shouldn't be surprised ma'ma always wanted to keep an eye on me and who better than my personal assistant."

"Ex-assistant isn't it." Bobby shrugs handing me a freshly cooked meat ball.

"No." I shrug, enjoying the taste but unsure how much my stomach is going to cooperate with food. "Seriously I tried but fuck getting double scheduled and constantly firing people. It's just bad for business. Daniel doesn't like it tough shit."

"There's the Clayton I know." Bobby laughs. "We're you been buddy?"

"There's more." I shrug. He turns to me waiting for it. "I'm going to move out."

Bobby's eyes widen. "You're ending it?"

"Not unless he wants to." I sigh. "But I ain't putting up with this shit anymore either."

"What are you planning Clayton?" Bobby asks skeptical.

"I'm dropping his and my exclusivity." I answer coldly. "He wants to be my husband then he has to earn the right." Bobby stiffens and I know by the look on his face I was overheard, I turn to face the new comer and freeze when I see Daniel standing in the doorway a little green. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough." He responds leaning against the doorframe.

I nod and then see Alec, "This where you been all day?"

"We need to talk Clayton." Alec frowns.

"Not before him and I do." Daniel snarks.

"Actually." I glare. "Bobby and I were about to have dinner. You two are welcome to join." I turn my chair to Bobby and ask for plates. He fills my lap with plates and silverware and I make my way to set the table.

Alec is the first to enter the room walking up to me, "How are you holding up Clayton? I know losing your mom is hard."

"Best as can be expected." I shrug. "Had a visit with Mike, talked about her. It was really nice."

Alec leans into me, taking the silverware. "I sent Mike too." He whispers in my ear. He pulls away and casually starts to roll a knife and fork in a napkin. I set a plate down next to it. "What happened between you two is between you two but I want it known that I support you Clayton, no matter what choices you make."

I say nothing to him, I don't need to my eyes speak everything that needs to be said. I'm grateful to him. Even if it means he's making me face my demons directly after losing ma'ma. But this storm was coming, we all knew it. Daniel comes in with the glasses and Bobby follows him with a pitcher of milk and one with water. I honestly could go for a drink but my meds strongly recommend against it, not to mention none of us drink around Daniel.

Alec and Bobby disappear back into the kitchen and Daniel moves a chair from the table and puts it in the corner of the room, before choosing to sit in a chair opposite of me instead of next to me. "So does this mean our engagement's off?" He asks, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Yes." I answer, not wanting to sugar coat anything.

"And you want to date other people?" he asks pouring himself some water. "Ryan have anything to do with this?"

I curse Alec and his big mouth for a moment before I answer. "Who I decide to date outside of you and me is my business Daniel."

"And our contracts?" he asks.

"They can either be suspended or amended. The choice is yours." I shrug.

"So I get a choice in this?" he asks arrogantly. "How's this going to work Clayton? You date people when I'm out of town? Are have you and Mike already started and forgot to tell me?" He points to his neck, letting me know he is fully aware of who left the mark on mine.

"I won't deny there was a moment when things got heated and it shouldn't have." I shrug. "But I don't feel the need to apologize for it."

"Why the hell not?" he demands.

"Because you haven't apologized for cheating on me." I reply in a serious whisper so only he can hear me. Daniel avoids my eyes, not bothering to deny it. "If you want to even try to save us, then our exclusivity is off. And I am moving out."

"Just like that?" he asks as Bobby and Alec come in with the food.

"Not just like that." I frown. "You don't even realize you're doing it now do you? It's become so second nature."

"What Clayton?" he asks his temper getting the better of him.

"You can't even meet my eyes Daniel. I don't know what I've done but I can't keep living like this." I bitch. Alec sits down next to me and Bobby sits next to Daniel. I give Bobby a look and I know he's prepared to pounce Daniel if he loses it.

I put my head in my hands trying to fight tears of frustration, "I know you resent me for risking your life when I chose Mike. You have made that no secret, no matter how hard you tried to accept it in the beginning. But despite that you have stayed, why torture me for it? To make me hate myself as much as you hate me?"

"Hate you? Clayton, no." Daniel responds deflated. "It's just, I should have recognized him. Clayton I left you alone with that crazy asshole and the could have been's… it scares the hell out of me. And knowing that Cassandra is still out there, a threat to any and all I care about."

"So it's Cassandra?" I ask lifting up and noticing Alec had made my plate. "Or is it because I refuse to fire Mike?"

Daniel sits up a little straighter, it's no secret that he's jealous as hell of Mike. And my hickey sure the hell ain't helping. But he knows damn well he has no leg to stand on about it. He walked out on me for over half a year and I moved on. I'm the one who gave Daniel a second chance, ending a damn good relationship with a good guy to try to work us out. And look where that risk has gotten me. Hurt and alone.

"I won't deny Mike was a surprise Clayton. Nor will I deny that it has been difficult accepting it, especially since you work with him so closely. It has helped that he's no longer your assistant." Daniel responds cautiously. "But obviously you two still spend time together."

"Newsflash Daniel." I snap, stabbing my noodles. "As I've told Ben, I am now telling you. I am the CEO of Blackboard Entertainment and I will run the business as I see fit. That means I don't have to explain myself to anyone. Mike is going to be my personal assistant again. He's keeping his other duties but this shit isn't working and it's affecting the bottom line. And I will no longer tolerate you or anyone else's personal opinions about my staff to determine how my business is run."

"I don't want you dating him." Daniel sighs, making a small plate that I doubt he's going to eat. "He's a threat."

"You have no ground to stand on." I reply coldly. His eyes drop to his plate while he pushes his food around. "I had a friend point something out to me today." I add after a long silence. "Had our roles been reversed than I would have never left your side and doubting even Ben would understand how to treat your feet." I watch as Daniel puts his fork down on the table. "I didn't tell you this Daniel and that's partially my fault but I can't stand the way you look at me, or rather don't look at me while I'm in this chair. I refuse to keep feeling like this because no man is worth my ability to walk."

"You want to lay the blame on me!" he screams.

"Shoe fits!" I holler back placing my bandaged feet up onto the table. "You were there Daniel, the doctor said if I push too hard again then I will lose my ability to walk. Yet when you left you told me you expected progress on my return."

"So what you want to go fuck around then?" Daniel asks jumping to his feet. "Pack a bag Bobby he's going to realize he wants Alec! Oh don't look surprised we both knew it. Hell it's the only fucking time his dick gets interested, dreaming about his best fucking friend. God knows it's not because of me."

"Enough!" Alec growls standing to his feet, the room falls silent and I drop my legs back down, holding in the curse as they knock against the bars of the chair. "This is not the reason why I drug your ass six fucking states. The man you love is hurting Daniel, he's lost his truest best friend and you aren't even caring enough to ask him about her before you drill into him. It's not always about you."

"I walked in here to hear he wants to start fucking around. How the hell am I supposed to react?" Daniel asks, throwing himself back into his chair. Bobby watches from his chair not wanting to get involved unless it's necessary.

"You are supposed to fucking recognize his heart is broken and it's not all your fucking fault!" Alec seethes. "Do you realize how difficult it is to piss me off Kingsley? Yet you've managed to keep me angry almost all fucking day. He. Lost. His. Mother! When the fuck are you going ask him how he's doing about that? Fuck Daniel you wonder why he's thinking about ending it…this is why! You are putting yourself in front of him and he's fucking sick of it. Hell we all are! Stop. Think. Maybe half of this could have been avoided tonight if you would just ask him how he is."

Daniel messes with his napkin and silverware and the looks at me, meeting my eyes for the first time ever while I sit in this wheelchair. "He's right Clayton. I'm sorry. How –"

"Don't!" I snap cutting him off. "You don't get the right to ask me that right now." I'm pissed at myself as the anger boils and the traitor tears fall. "I asked you to come. I told you she was close to the end and I asked you to come. But you weren't there. The man I agreed to marry wasn't there to help me get through one of the most difficult days of my life. You chose work over family Daniel! Welcome to the consequences!" I watch as tears spill out of his eyes. "The wake is tomorrow and the funeral is the following day. You are welcome to come but you will not be on my arm. The following day I want you out of the house so I can grab some things. If you want to fight for us I won't stop you. But I'm serious when I say we aren't exclusive."

"I don't want to lose you." He replies.

"Actions Daniel." Is all the strength I have left and I have my electronic chair abandon the food I barely touched and drive into Alec and Bobby's guest room. I close and lock the door knowing I can't stay here long. Daniel's anger spilling dirty laundry like that is more than awkward, especially the timing. Frustrated I dig in my pocket and call Mike. "Clay? Something up?"

"Yeah." I frown. "I need a ride."


	10. Doors and Windows

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright. Try it and I will SUE!**

 **Shattered**

 **Doors and Windows**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

Ma'ma's wake is today. It has taken me all morning to figure out what to wear for it. Getting dressed alone has proven difficult but I managed. Alec and Bobby begged me not to leave but after Daniel's outburst I simply didn't want to stay. I told them I was going to a hotel but Daniel wouldn't have it. He told me to go back to the house and he would sleep in a hotel, arguing he is already packed for one and I am not. I was too damn tired to disagree so I let Mike pick me up and take me back to my place.

Mike had gotten me to bed and asked if I needed him to stay on the couch. The offer was tempting but I declined. I didn't want Mike sleeping in what is half Daniel's house, considering the circumstances. I woke before my alarm and stared at the ceiling for a long while before I decided to start my day. It took me ages to get ready but I was glad for the distraction.

When Mike arrived the first thing he did was wrap me in his arms, place me on his lap and held me in silence. I took in his scent for a little while and then it hit me, like a tidal wave. I lost every ounce of control I had and started sobbing like a small child in his caring arms. He didn't speak, he didn't tense, he just held me, sometimes tighter than other times. He simply let me cry until there was nothing left. When I am exhausted I pull away.

"I'm sorry I soaked your shirt." I frown. "Please, take one from my closet, this won't do."

"I will, but it isn't time to freight over fabric Clayton." He smiles with a slight teasing voice. "It's time to freight over you. How are you? Do you need anything? Food, bandages, sex?" I raise my eyebrow at the last one. "What? You are wound tighter than a jack in the box."

"I'll take you up on the bandages. I hate stretching them to do it myself."

"Are you taking the painkillers this time?" Mike scowls.

"Not a good day for it so I popped some extra strength over the counter shit. I want a clear head for this Mike."

"Of course." My stomach growls loudly and he places me on my couch. "But you are eating something before we leave." I know better than to argue with him and accept the sandwich he made to my liking. He starts to work on changing out my bandages and attempts causal conversation.

"These look like they are doing well." He notes. "For the beginning."

"Oh yeah, hurts like a son of a bitch." I mutter. "It's doing great."

"I still owe you for saving my life." Mike smiles.

"I'll cash in one day." I smile but we both know I am not serious.

"Is Daniel coming to the wake?" Mike asks, casually but you could tell it was something he wanted to know but wasn't sure how to approach it.

"He is welcome to." I shrug.

"So where do you two stand?"

"I offered to move out but he chose to move in with Ben for the time being. He told me this place was already wheelchair friendly." I watch him finish the bandage and offer my other foot. "I took your advice. I am making him prove he wants me."

"I see." Mike notes, carefully taking off the puss soaked bandage on my foot, cleaning my skin gently.

"I also made our relationship non-exclusive and put our D/s relationship on hold." I add studying him.

His fingers still for a moment but start to move again when he speaks. "Are you sure that is what you want?"

"That is the problem Mike. I don't know what I want anymore." I admit. "I just know what I had in the past and what did and did not make me happy."

"That's a start." He smiles.

He finishes the bandages and then helps me get into my dress shoes before driving me to the funeral home. The next few hours are absolutely challenging. I was a mess of emotions as I visited with my family and friends. We shared stories, laughed a little, cried a lot.

I noticed Ryan from the moment he walked in. He visited with my family and chose a seat in the middle of the pews. I felt his eyes on me the rest of the night. Daniel had arrived before myself and Mike. It wasn't hard to see the hurt when he realized I had arrived with Mike.

Mike stayed with my colleagues most the time while Daniel stayed near Bobby and Alec. I was with my dad, trying very hard to not care about three men in the room who were hoping I would chose them, and one man who had finally given up on me; he of course being the one I want. How did my life get so damn messed up?

At the end of the service I decided to go home with my Dad for the night. He was more than happy for the company and I was more than happy for the distraction. It looked as though Daniel was going to offer to join but Alec cut him off with an offer to change my bandages before I left. I was happy to accept.

"She had quite a turn out." Alec smiles as he works.

"She was quite a lady." I smile back.

"I've never been to a funeral before. I can tell you I am not a fan of it." He admits. "I've been thinking since I got here. Thinking maybe it's time we stop looking for trouble."

"What do you mean?" I ask cautiously.

"I am going to be at the cemetery tomorrow, to help you bury your mother. We keep poking the hornets' nest, we are going to get stung. I don't want to come back here to bury you, or anyone else because of this stupid vendetta." He answers solemnly.

"Alec, funerals do this, they make everything raw." I warn. "You need to sleep on this."

"Do I?" Alec asks. "Do you realize how much it hurts to see you in this much pain over your mom? I can barely stand burying Mrs. Reynolds, how do you think I would handle burying you or Bobby?"

I lean forward and touch his face, "Hey, you being here means the fucking world to me. I can't thank you enough for it Angel. I know it's hard but you are helping me, more than you realize."

"I can't lose you, either of you." He answers, tears falling from his eyes. "We have been through so damn much. We need to stop while we are ahead. Stop Angels of Justices, stop searching for Cassandra and Faith. Just trust those who can prove they can be trusted and walk away while we are all alive."

"And Owen?" I ask, not letting go of his cheeks. Owen isn't a name I bring up often, it is way too painful for Alec, but usually I see pain when I do, today his eyes only show defeat. "You've given up." I accuse in shock.

"I love him like a brother but it's been over half a decade Clayton. With the injuries he sustained and the time, the odds of him being alive… I will always hope to be wrong, but logic tells me there is no way he is alive."

"This place is not good for you." I decide, unable to believe my own ears. "Look at me. No one is going anywhere, I promise. And keep that hope alive for Owen, don't give up on him. He's not giving up on us!"

He struggles with his emotions for a moment, when he composes himself he looks at me. "I will try, but I want to wash my hands of the Quattro as much as possible. I am done searching for Cassandra. She hurt you, she is in the wind. We need to celebrate surviving her. We need to stop pushing the envelope. I am walking away from this drama Clayton. I need us to be safe."

I give him a nod and hug him. After a bit he stands up and I steer my way back to parlor. I take Bobby's hand and pinch. He leans forward. "Take Alec home, and don't let him leave the house, he needs you Bobby. Don't let him out of your sight, let him have some control, he needs it." Bobby straightens up and gives me a look of concern and looks at Alec then back to me. He gives me a small nod. They say their polite goodbyes and leave.

Daniel lingers next to me. "Thank you for coming." I tell him.

"Of course." He puts his hands in his pocket like he wants to say something but decides against it, "I didn't know her well but the world is a little less bright without her." He clears his throat, fidgets and then excuses himself.

I watch him leave without a goodbye, unsure what to think or feel when it comes to Daniel these days. Trying not to dwell on it, I turn my chair and head to Ryan. "Thank you for coming."

"I miss her already." He smiles through tears. "How are you Clay?"

"It hurts like hell." I answer truthfully. "I'm taking my dad home now. Have a good night."

I steer my way back to my father who is talking to Mike. I can tell Ryan left the room. I didn't have to look to know it, I could feel his presence leave. When my Dad shakes Mike's hand and gives him a hug, I smile. "Thank you for everything Mike. I will see you tomorrow."

"Of course. You need anything Clay, I am a phone call away."

"I appreciate that." I smile, "Good night."

When we were alone my father sat in the pew, staring at my mother's coffin for a long while, in silence. Eventually he got up and we drove back to my childhood home. I made sure my dad ate something and we sat on the front porch in the evening talking about memories of ma'ma. When I bid my father good night, he put his hand on mine.

"Before you run off, I've got somethin' to say." I give a respectful nod and rearrange my chair to face him. "Your mother was always the one who was good at talking with you when it came to your heart. I know we don't talk about these things but I can always tell when you find yourself conflicted. Now it ain't my business but you ask me, anyone who came tonight to impress you is not someone you should waste your time on. This was about your ma'ma, not about anything else."

"You talking about Daniel?" I ask.

"Daniel? I don't know can't decide on him. Somethin' ain't sitting right with that Ryan boy, you ask me. Now I know Ryan knew her but him sticken' 'round and watchin' you like that. He broke you in half son. I would be very careful trusting anyone who is selfish enough to do that once. I wouldn't give anyone a second chance to do it again." He looks me dead in the eye. "Love is a powerful force Clay. I know you have watched your ma'ma and I go through the waves of it. I know you have experienced some of them yourself. It doesn't take an idiot to see that the man you truly love is your best friend Alec."

"Dad, please, he's happy." I mutter.

"Yep. But are you? Settlin' with Daniel doesn't seem right anymore. Maybe it never was. But that man is just as selfish as Ryan. Just 'cause your ma'ma was sick didn't mean I haven't been watching. You aren't happy son, and it isn't because you watched your ma'ma die slowly. You keep this up, he is going to break you just like Ryan, and I am afraid if you let him you will never allow yourself to love again."

"Dad." I protest.

"You hear me now," my dad pushes, "You missed out on Alec because of Ryan hurtin' you the way he did. Who will you miss out on because of Daniel doing the same damn thing?" He shakes his head. I sit up a little straighter and he relaxes, looking back out into the dark night. "Like I said, your ma'ma is better at this kind of thing. I just want you happy son. And I don't think you are." He stands up. "That's enough of that, how about we dig into Ms. Margret's famous pecan pies before bed?"

"Sounds like a plan Dad. And thanks. I am doing some soul searching right now. I will let you know how it goes."

"Soul searching huh? Gotta be careful with that, the mind likes to silence the heart."

"I hear ya." I assure him with a half-smile and head off to the kitchen. We both eat a pie a piece before we say goodnight.

I didn't sleep much that night. I spent the majority of the darkness thinking about what my dad had said and if ma'ma would have agreed with him. Trying to push it from my mind I found my ma'ma's scrapbooks and enjoyed some happy memories while I waited for the sun.

When daylight came, I went to make breakfast and was surprised to hear a knock on the front door. "You're early." I note at Mike's perfectly professionally dressed form.

"I figured you didn't pack so I brought a clean suit and some toiletries." He replies with a smile.

"Fuck Mike I've missed you as my assistant that is for sure." I smile.

"Off the clock Clay, doing this as a friend." He smiles as he walks in, "But I will admit, being your assistant for so long has helped me learn your predicable habits of being unpredictable.

I smile and let him in. "Oh hey Mike." My dad smiles at him, "Is something burning?"

"Crap!" I curse turning my chair toward the kitchen.

"No, no I got it." My dad laughs, "Mike, you mind changing his bandages? I am sure my son is neglecting them again."

"I am not!" I call out.

"No, you just prefer others to do it for you." Mike laughs.

"Stretches less, more tolerable." I mutter in defense. "There's breakfast in it for you." I offer.

"No bribery needed Clay." He smiles. "I enjoy getting on my knees and caring for you." I raise an eyebrow to that but his stare is piercing, he leans forward. "After things settle a bit, I want to try it, you and me." He whispers on my lips. I clear my throat, unsure what to say. He brushes his soft lips against mine not once, not twice but three times before he pulls away with my medical kit that I keep attached under my chair.

After breakfast Mike helps me into my suit. "Fuck I hate being this helpless."

"You aren't helpless." Mike argues, getting my pants past my feet.

"I feel like a small child, I can dress myself." I bitch.

"You can but it takes longer and hurts more." Mike agrees, stopping at my inner thigh, "And isn't as fun."

"Mike, I'm sorry." I sigh gently lifting his head away from my dick.

"Don't be. Just offering to help you unwind." He smiles.

"We'll go on a date soon I promise." I assure him.

"I want more than a date. I want to be your boyfriend." Mike informs me as he works my pants over my dress shirt.

"Polygamous boyfriend." I reply.

"I'll take it, for now." He smiles, reaching under my pants and massaging my cock. I protest but his fingers are quick and talented. "Shh, baby you need to relax, let me give you that gift." I gasp in surprise at how close I am. My confusion shows, I haven't been able to get hard in months and he gets me going and near orgasm in less than two minutes. "You aren't taking the right meds, remember baby?" Mike smiles, knowing I am surprised at my body's response. I gasp again, remembering he asked me yesterday about it. "You have all this tension built up inside, you need to let it go." With his free hand he quickly unties his tie and releases the top button. He presses my mouth into his neck and I feel some fabric touching the tip of my cock. I scream into his skin, biting down hard to muffle it, causing him to grunt. He pumps my dick until my extensive orgasm stops pulsing into the cloth, keeping my teeth clamped on his neck. "That's it baby come down, suck me until your heartbeat's regular." I pull him close and do exactly that, leaving a severely dark and large hickey on his neck. My eyes widen at the sight of it. He smiles and kisses my lips gently. I deepen the kiss but he breaks it when I reach for him. "Feel better baby?" he asks, lacing his fingers in mine and pushing my hands away.

"Much." I smile, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He kisses me one more time, climbs off me and finishes getting my suit to look right while I am forced to dress in a seated position. He then turns his phone camera on and checks out the hickey. "Fuck I missed your possessive marks. Makes me so damn hot." He closes his phone and fixes his shirt and tie. Hiding most the mark but not all of it.

"Plenty more where that came from." I smile, enjoying the fact his suit won't hide all of it.

"Good." He smiles. "I have a meeting at work that I can't miss. I will meet you at the funeral home at one."

"Keep the troops in line for me." I smile, kissing him one last time and watching his sexy ass walk out. I discover the fabric he used was the shirt I had been wearing. I stuff it in the garment bag so my dad doesn't come across it. I wasn't expecting nor really wanting any of that, but now that it happened, I am grateful for the release.

Later that morning, Dad and I headed back to the funeral home. The service was hard. We played her favorite songs, guest speakers spoke their hearts and the preacher knew ma'ma so well that the sermon was heartbreaking because he couldn't do it without crying. Dad and I drove to the cemetery in silence and stayed until the dirt covered her grave. My dad broke down then, I stayed with him in silence until he found his bearings but that wasn't until the late afternoon sun.

I decided to stay with my dad for a week. I knew my life was waiting for me to return to it but right now my dad was my priority. I took the time to help dad donate ma'ma's clothes and things. I also made arrangements to make sure my dad was looked in upon every other day so he wouldn't get lonely, I would have done more but he would have gotten irritated with all the attention.

I refused any and all phone calls and asked my friends not to visit during this time as well. I simply didn't have time to figure out my life and my dad was able to help me with my feet. I even tolerated several long lectures about how my health was worth no one. I know he is right and I know I have been an idiot. I just wish I understood why Daniel changed.

Near the end of my visit Ryan came around. My dad was not impressed to see him. I never knew how much my dad didn't like what happened between Ryan and I, until now. It kinda made me happy that he was put off. My dad gave the man little of his time as politely possible, gave me a look of disapproval and told us he had business in the garage, leaving us alone.

"So why are you really here Ryan?" I ask, exhausted.

"You lost your mom and you and I were best friends once."

"We were and then we were something bigger than that." I confirm. "But the risk we took in changing our friendship didn't work out Ryan. Now we are just ex's."

"I was an idiot." Ryan responds.

"Yes." I answer coldly.

"Can we fix this Clay? Can you please forgive me?"

"It's been over a decade Ryan."

"What is a decade verses a lifetime? Come on Clay we've known each other since we were kids."

"Knew." I corrected. "Ryan, you didn't just break my heart, you broke my trust. You of all people should know that isn't something I allow people to earn back. Besides, I am still famous. Yes, I avoid the limelight more but it doesn't stop people of all ages asking for my autograph, getting me perks at restaurants and nearly getting me killed because a damn paparazzi wants my photograph. It's a high price Ryan, one you weren't willing to pay then and I doubt you are now."

"Not true," he argues, "you censor what you let the press see. Don't tell me you don't. So why can't you censor me?"

"Even if I could, I can't censor myself very much. I still need to go out with someone on my arm just to keep the damn press from speculating. And yes, I fuck the guys willing to do that. I have not had a monogamous relationship since we split and I honestly I could never do it again. That for you is a deal breaker." I argue. It wasn't a lie, Daniel came close but we still branched out when Angels of Justices was needed.

"We can work it out Clay." He pleads and suddenly it hits me. My dad is right, Ryan is a selfish prick and if memory serves he is a prideful one as well. So prideful he would be willing to sacrifice a lot before he broke down and told me his shame.

"How much do you need?" I ask evenly.

"What?" he asks in a high pitch voice.

"Money, how much?" I ask in the same even tone.

"Clay this isn't about money, this is about us. I love you. I made a mistake and seeing you on the rags in the grocery store, knowing how you have been hurt. It makes me ill."

"You could have come to me as an old friend anytime. You should know me well enough that your name has always been on the V.I.P. list at work. If you were that concerned, you would have come to me months ago."

He's quite for a long while, keeping his eyes trained to the floor. "A hundred thousand."

"Jesus!" I bitch. "That ain't chump change!"

"I am about to lose my house. I had all my investments in the real estate market and I lost my job with this recent mortgage slump. I went flat broke overnight." He admits. "The money will pay my debts, make me even. I can start fresh."

"I am not giving you a hundred thousand dollars." I reply, watching his face switch from pain to anger. "I will however give you an advance and have my accounting department pay all your outstanding debts except that expensive ass car, your house and insurance."

"Advance?" Ryan questions.

"Yeah, I am offering you a job. Take it or leave it. You want the money, you earn it. You can deal with a short sale or foreclosing your house. You can also deal with trading in your car for payments you can afford. I don't give free rides and your outlandish spending is not something I would ever bail you from. Whatever advance money you need will be taken out of your paychecks and you will be signing an iron clad contract to pay off the advance in full before your employment could end."

"What would I be doing?" he asks skeptically.

"I am sure I have an opening in my mail room." I shrug. "Pays about thirty thousand a year; day shit, benefits, one week vacation."

"Mail clerk? Come on Clay I can make more money working for Joe Smo." He bitches.

"Yes, but Joe Smo won't give you an advance." I argue. "So either file bankruptcy or take my offer. Sounds like those are the only options you have left."

He studies me. "You really need to add insult to injury Clay? The mail room? Come on, don't waste my talent like that. You know I have an ear, you trained it damn it. Might as well use it."

"Why should I? You just tried to fuck with my heart because of your damn pride. You should have just asked for a damn job."

"Damn it Clay I love you!" he screams out in frustration. "I can't take back the hurt. I can't unbreak your trust. Yes, I am a jealous man who wants my man all to myself. No, I could never be happy in a polygamous relationship; but for you I would fucking try. Try because I gave up on us way too fucking soon. You had a dream and I walked away become I didn't believe I could compete. I was a fool. But that doesn't mean I stopped loving you! That doesn't mean I don't miss you. You are my best fucking friend. I have never trusted another like I have trusted you. It kills me every day that I was stupid enough to walk away. You just lost your ma'ma Clay. Can you honestly tell me that if I were to die tomorrow you would feel nothing?"

We share an intense stare for a very long time, that was a very low blow. "Fine, you can be my initial demo tape screener. Sixty-thousand, rest of the offer stands. You will have a small studio to work in and access to me only by appointment through Mike Walker, who will be your boss. You will have limited access in the building. You start next week if you are willing to sign the contract."

"Clay."

"I can't change how my heart feels Ryan but I can allow my mind to override it. I love you. I can attempt to make a friendship work but it will never be as it was. I don't think I could ever trust you enough for that." I answer, trying to keep my emotions from my voice.

"Thank you." He answers, knowing my mind was made up. "I appreciate anything you can give."

"Send your debts to Mike personally. I will have it sorted out from there." I shake my head. "If this concludes our business then I am tired and want to rest."

"Almost." He smiles pulling a small box out of his pocket. "I believe this was your grandfather's and I wanted to make sure you got it back." I open the box and find a pocket watch I had given him years ago.

"This was a gift." I frown.

"One I don't deserve." He shrugs. "Maybe one day I can earn it back." I give him a look and he gives me a half smile. "Get some rest Clay, you need it." Without another word he turns and leaves.


	11. Confession

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Confession**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

When I finally go home I am surprised to find Daniel waiting for me in our living room. I wasn't sure what to say and I was half wondering if I should have changed the locks and alarm codes. I stop my wheelchair at the edge of the coffee table and stare at him, waiting for him to explain his unannounced presence.

"I've fucked up." He finally states, looking me in the eye. "I have handled everything so fucking wrong, that I don't know where to even begin to apologize." I have absolutely no arguments to this, and despite my mental laundry list of deeds I could throw in his face right now, I decide to stay silent. "I should have never left you Clay. If I had never run after you went out of your way to help Tasha, then none of this mess would have ever happened." He stares at the drink on a table and I am suddenly wondering if it is apple juice or whiskey.

"I've lied to you." He continues, keeping my attention. "I don't know, maybe I lied to myself and thought I was happy when we were apart. After all, that is when I found out I had an addiction to alcohol. I drank every night and smiled all the time, but I was shit faced drunk." He takes a sip from the glass. "I dated a few guys but I never slept with them. There was one that had great potential, Isaac. We had a few dates but I wasn't sure and then I saw you at the airport and my world fell away. Just the sight of you made me forget everything except us." He looks at me.

"I wasn't expecting you to have moved on so quickly. I was shocked and hurt. I thought I meant more to you." He frowns. "But I didn't realize I had moved on too." He takes another sip. "Mike has been a really tough pill to swallow. Really tough. But I accept that I am the one who put the opportunity for it to happen." I once again chose silence, speaking my mind on how he has handled his jealousy of Mike will only cause a massive fight and stop him from talking. He hasn't opened up to me like this since the attack, no way I am going to open my mouth and make it stop now.

"Isaac kept texting me." He admits. "At first I apologized to him, explaining that something I thought was over wasn't. He understood, told me that he really enjoyed my personality and asked that we stay friends." I take a deep breath and force my tongue still. He watches my reaction. "That is all it was, friendship." He takes another sip, "At first."

I close my eyes to that, unable to fight the tears. "When?" I ask, daring to speak for the first time. _Why does this hurt so much, you knew this was coming!_

"After the attack, mostly; a friendship was developing before." Daniel admits. "It wasn't the risk you took Clayton. Know that, please. Had it been a stranger or me, if you honestly thought you could save two lives over one, how the hell can I hate you for that?" His stare is piercing. "Are you hearing me? I do not blame you. I do not hate you. I would have done the same thing. You need to stop beating yourself up."

"If you don't blame or hate me then why the hell are you sitting here telling me you are having an affair?" I ask, in a low pained voice.

"It wasn't the risk you took Clayton." Daniel repeats. "It was the pictures of you and Mike that Brad took." My eyes meet his. "You never once looked at me like that, not the way you looked at him. I have tried so hard to convince myself I am being foolish. But no matter what happens, Mike is always closer and closer to you. You can't find a replacement for your personal assistant after you promoted him to a better job. You are doing the hiring Clayton, do you think there is something subconscious going on there? Hell he knew your ma'ma better than me. He knows the right things to say and when to say them. All I know how to do with you is fuck up."

"So you confided in Isaac, not Ben or your therapist?" I ask, hurt.

"Ben told me I was being oversensitive and it was just trauma from the experience. What I chose to tell my therapist of the situation lead to the same conclusion."

"And Isaac's conclusion?" I ask, trying not to let the bitterness seep in my voice, failing miserably.

"I talked to him when you were getting your diagnosis after the acid. My head was so fucked up from what just happened and I checked my phone and seen a text and it just all came rushing out; censored of course. He told me my gut instinct was probably the right one. That you most likely came back to me because you were in denial on how you felt about Mike and I was comfortable." Daniel admits. "Isaac's the reason I pulled away."

"How long have you been fucking him?"

"Since your first surgery. Weekly, sometimes more. It's where I go when I disappear on Ben for shoots." He admits. "It's nice to not have to worry about all the drama we have managed to get tangled in. There isn't any Angels of Justices or psycho stalkers, or damaged feet."

"You brought the psycho stalker into the relationship! I was the one almost beat to death by a fucking baseball bat!" I snap. "I was the one forced to make an impossible choice to save lives!"

He holds his hands up in surrender. "I know." He frowns. "You can't tell me that on some subconscious level you gravitated toward Mike because when you were with him, you were safe. I can't offer you that Clayton, Cassandra is still out there. And she is to be pissed that Brad is a vegetable."

"Cassandra hasn't made contact since the day my feet dropped in acid!"

"Oh but she has." Daniel corrects. "I just have been keeping it away from you. You have enough on your plate." He reaches in his bag and hands me a collapsible mail folder. I open it and pull out some of the contents. Mostly pictures of Daniel and Brad along with death threats.

"Does Alec know?" I ask, putting it back and setting it down on the coffee table.

"Oh yes, please let's run to precious Alec for the rescue." He bitches, taking another swig and finishing the glass. My question gets answered on its contents when he pulls a bottle from a side of the couch and fills it up with more whiskey. I frown in disapproval but chose not to start that fight either. "Your soul mate."

"He's my best friend. You knew that going into this." I defend.

"Yes, knew I would have to deal with a jealous ex-boyfriend being over protective. I did not know I was signing up to be with a guy who helps said ex seek revenge on abusive Sirs, risking life and limb in the process."

"You didn't have to be a part of it." I respond, watching him drink.

"So you expected me to sit out knowing you were risking your life? Fat chance." He snaps.

"So Isaac offers normalcy." I conclude, "A man who can walk, dance and share your morning runs with. No secret meetings, no ex-boyfriends as friends. He's simple."

"Exactly." Daniel smiles, giving me an air toast before swallowing the glass whole, refilling it just as fast as he drank it.

"You haven't been looking me in the eye because you feel guilty about Isaac, not because I am in this damn chair!" I realize. The reality of the epiphany almost crushing me from the weight. I almost lost my ability to walk because this fucker was guilty over an affair! "You have been pushing me to walk because why exactly?" I ask getting really angry.

"I wanted to marry you." He confesses, "And I knew you didn't want to do that in a wheelchair. I thought that once we were married then our lives wouldn't be in question. You chose me, not Mike, not Alec … me. I pushed you to walk because I hated being reminded of all the bad. And it would get you off those meds that prevent us from having sex. I wanted the good, I needed it. Come on Clayton sex is important."

"I almost lost my ability to ever walk again because you wanted to hide your guilt of cheating on me by marrying me and pretending it never happened?" I ask out loud in astonishment, needing validity for my thoughts.

"I'm sorry." Daniel responds, taking one large swig of whiskey.

"You're sorry?" I ask insulted. "The day my ma'ma died you were so self-involved with me opening our relationship that you couldn't bother giving your damn condolences! And you have the audacity to sit here and tell me you have been cheating on me throughout my entire painful healing process from the attack of _your_ crazy ex-boyfriend! Not to mention, getting drunk in front of my face and you think tossing me a 'sorry' covers any of that shit?'"

"What do you want me to say Clayton? I reacted. The moment I realized Mike was back in the picture I knew I fucked up. Isaac is a mistake Clayton, he isn't the one I want."

"You are a stupid, selfish asshole!" I reply overly calm. "I thought it was me. I thought I had done something and this entire time it's you." I whip my tears of anger. "Do you love him or is it just sex?"

"I don't know." He answer honestly, refilling his glass again.

"Do you kneel for him?" I ask, trying to calm down. "Does he kneel for you?"

"The culture is a part of who I am Clayton, just as it is you." He defends. "I can't have a relationship without it."

"Are you the Dominate or submissive?" I ask, truly wounded. Sure I had a hickey on my neck but I wasn't fucking around or having a D/s relationship behind his damn back. And sue me for my recent orgasm but he doesn't own them anymore. He on the other hand has been fucking around on both aspects of our relationship. Cumming without permission. I didn't put our contract on hold, there wasn't a contract to put on hold. He broke it a long time ago.

"I'm his 'little'." Daniel answers truthfully. "It's not the same as what we have."

It takes me a moment to absorb that. "I should say not." I agree, in shock.

"It makes me feel safe." Daniel tries to explain.

"It's an illusion Daniel. Brad would have targeted him had you been together at the time. Cassandra still can." I warn.

"You think I don't know that!" he spits angrily.

"Does Isaac?" I ask, oddly worried for this stranger who is a willing mistress whore.

"I have him under paid protection." Daniel assures me.

"Oh good, cause that worked out great for you last time." I snap bitterly.

"It's my problem Clayton." Daniel argues, slamming yet another glass. "We're in an open relationship, remember."

"We're in a relationship?" I ask, amused. "Are you fucking seriously that delusional? You not only cheated on me, you kneeled for another man that makes you feel safer than I do. You gave him your orgasms before I demanded we go poly!" I shake my head. "We are not in a relationship Daniel. You and Isaac are."

"Don't!" he screams at me. "Please. I am being honest with you here! I am begging you to give me a chance. To fix this mess." He starts crying. "I love you and I fucked it up so fucking bad. I don't deserve another chance, I know that. Please Clayton, can we please try? I'll deal with this open thing. If it doesn't work then we know. But it will, there isn't any secrets now, you know. I can look you in the eye. Please, if you ever loved me at all. I know there is nothing between you and Alec. I know you are at a crossroads with me and Mike. Don't chose him by default because I made a mistake."

"You lied to me!" I scream. "Don't you know that is a fucking deal breaker!"

"You have been lying to yourself. You love Mike and you love me!" he retorts. "And now Ryan is back in your life."

"Ryan is _not_ your concern."

"If you cut me out due to pride you will never know if your feelings for Mike are genuine or just in the moment. You will be playing the 'what if' game for the rest of your natural life. You already do it with Alec. Do you really want that with me too?" He challenges in desperation.

He reaches in his bag again and hands me a thin vanilla envelope. "I did my homework on Isaac, you are welcome to double check. He is just a regular guy. He doesn't know a lot about me and he has no damn clue I have family money. Nor does he know that I have a sister."

I hold the envelope and stare at him. "What are you afraid of? That once he realizes everything about you he will just turn out to be money hungry? No wonder you feel safe with the guy Daniel, you are living in a fantasy world."

"I know." He agrees. "One I created after being kidnapped and tortured by two psychopaths. Please, I don't need Isaac. I need you. I can be patient, let you decide if I am the one or if Mike… please. Don't fault me for reacting badly to being a victim."

"You're asking for another chance because you are claiming post-traumatic stress?" I ask annoyed.

"Please." He whispers again. He sets the empty glass down and takes a breath, staring at it instead of me, "If your heart is with Mike, I won't stand in your way Clayton, but I want you to be sure." He turns his eyes back to mine, "What is a few months to verify how we feel verses a lifetime of questions?"

"Is he clean?" I ask, annoyed that I am even considering his argument. Any other guy would have been cut out and kicked out my front door by now. But there is an extenuating circumstance, he was kidnapped and tortured for fuck sake.

"Both criminally and health wise, yes." Daniel assures me. "He is not a danger to us, and I don't need him, I need you."

"Are you listening to your drunk ass?" I glare. "You are telling me if I don't give you a chance then I am going to be questioning my choices from here on out. Same goes for you, you fucking asshole. You made a fantasy world where you became a 'little.' You have to play this out. He has to know everything, except Angels of Justices and shit. But he has to know your background, he has to know you are fighting for me, you have to pop whatever fucking bubble you are living in and try your relationship in the real world. Otherwise, if we do work out, every damn fight is going to lead you back to your bubble and you will run back to him."

"I don't need to hurt you more than I already have."

"It's too late for that Daniel. Even if it means I chose you and you chose him." I take a few calculated breaths, trying to keep what is left of my composure. "I can't do any form of a D/s relation with you while you kneel for another man." His eyes meet mine, showing pain. "I know it's a part of who you are but I can't. Besides, our issues are outside of the playroom. If we can't make that work then what is the point?"

"I understand." He agrees, pouring more whiskey.

"The drinking stops." I continue. "I want to meet Isaac face to face, it's only fair. You know Mike. He will also have to agree to the open arrangement. I will not allow you to cheat on him with me; despite him not sharing that mutual respect." I swallow hard. "And you come clean on Cassandra and your hired protection. One hundred percent real world, every skeleton that doesn't jeopardize Angels of Justices. I am assuming you know the same goes for enemy number one, the Quattro."

"Our secrets are safe Clayton. The less I have to share them the more normal my life gets." He assures me. "I will do this but I want to meet Ryan."

"I don't know what the hell Alec said to you but Ryan is not getting anywhere near my dick or my ass ever fucking again. He is an employee, maybe a very distant friend. He was more once but he willfully broke my trust, without a traumatic event to fall back on, to be anything more. There is no need to meet him." I glare at him. "To be clear the only reason I am agreeing to us is because I believe in post-traumatic stress and the damage it can do to a person. This is me, giving you the benefit of the doubt. But deals off without a trusted diagnosis of just that, from my therapist."

"I'm _not_ confiding in Alec." Daniel interrupts.

"No, you're not. But Rachel is a damn good at her job, discreet and trustworthy. She will be helping us through couples consoling depending on her diagnosis. You say no, the deal is off." I warn.

"Thought you hated Rachel?" Daniel replies confused.

"I have nothing against Rachel, she is just blindly backing her bitch of a best friend." I correct.

"Counseling, AA, honesty and open relationship." Daniel rattles off, "Am I missing anything?"

"Yeah, the contingency of a trusted diagnosis. I will not be played. If this emotional mess is real and from your kidnapping, I am one hundred percent behind you. But if you are faking it . . ."

"I'm not." Daniel frowns. "I'm a selfish jealous asshole. Why the fuck would I cheat on purpose? I fucking hate myself."

"I'll set up an appointment with Rachel. You get one chance to show." I warn.

"I'll be there, but try to work it out with Ben first?" he reasonably requests.

"You have a lot of graveling to do with him too you know. You've been treating him like shit to go sneak off to your fantasy world and leaving him with the work load. Fix it. You are abusing that friendship."

"You're right." He agrees, drinking yet more. "I got a question. How open is our open relationship? Will you just be with Mike and I with Isaac?

"I don't know." I answer wearily. "I'm not looking to ass hop up and down Main Street but I am not locking myself into any commitments right now either. And neither should you." His response is to get impossibly drunker. It is pissing me off but I decide to take advantage of his willfully fed truth serum. "I have to ask you something Daniel and I need the truth. "Do you have ties to the Quattro Daniel? Any ties at all?" I ask evenly.

"Yes." He answers and starts laughing when my face hardens. "I am half dating a guy whose ex-boyfriend is a former slave."

"I'm serious Daniel." I bitch.

"I have two former employees Ethan Fidato and Alec Impavido. But Alec's your ex-boyfriend so we know he's safe and Ethan tends to pop in and out of my life not really giving me the time of day inbetween. I get the impression you trust him though so I don't think that counts either." He clears his throat at my serious face. "To answer your question thoroughly, no, I personally have never been directly involved with any of them."

"Are you sure? Maybe one of your ex's? Liam perhaps?"

He chocks on his whiskey. "No. My life was normal before all of this." He takes a drink and mutters, "Liam, fucking coward got scared straight." He slams his empty glass on the table and puts more whiskey in it. "I am the fucking hero. I saved Alec's damn conscious."

"You what?"

"I knew if Brad died Alec might not be able to live with himself and that would affect you. So, I paid for his medical care." I stare at him, lost for words. "Yep, I saved your precious boyfriend from being a murderer, despite the shit that piece of shit Brad did to you, Mike and myself." He looks at me with pain in his eyes. "You're welcome."

"I didn't know." I respond, finding my voice.

"Didn't want you to. Don't think Alec should. It's done, Brad lived, Alec is safe from the guilt. Unfortunately, Cassandra figured it out." He frowns, "I made it clear that I did it for Alec, not for that maniac Brad. If he ever wakes up his twisted head won't accept that. He will think I saved him because I loved him." Daniel physically shivers. "It was a risk I took for the reward it gave." He looked up at me through now bloodshot eyes, "I'm not a bad guy Clayton. I love you, even when it hurts, I love you."

Tears streak down my face as I realize the sacrifice he made in order to protect someone I love. He sits back on the couch. "Believe it or not I didn't come here for any of this. I came to give you something and I found this bottle and have been staring at an empty glass for hours." He shakes his head, "I don't have the type of relationship with my parents as you do with yours." He confesses surprising me with the topic change. "The closet thing I have that reflects it is with Tasha. Watching you lose your mother slowly has really messed with my head. I know selfish, but it has. I have pulled Tasha closer and closer the sicker and sicker your mother got. I didn't know what to say or how to act. I am sure Mike did better in that department." He frowns and picks up what is remaining of the fifth of whisky, finally forgoing the glass, and takes a swig.

"I liked your ma'ma. She had spark." Once again he goes to his bag but this time he hands me a DVD. "She knew she was dying Clayton. So I asked her if she could help me, help you through it once she was gone. She was more than happy to oblige. She loved you so much. I won't take full credit, I had Ben and Amber's help with the editing but I didn't cut out anything she had to say to you." He nods toward the precious gift in my hand. "It's a DVD on life advice, memories she wanted you to keep close to the heart, and pictures of the two of you throughout your life." Tears started streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when she let go, but I did hear her say goodbye. I'm sorry I didn't react appropriately at the time and I am sorry I didn't give this to you at the funeral, I thought about it, even lingered a little at the wake but it didn't seem appropriate. I was awkward enough, I am always awkward at funerals. I want you to know I was there out of respect for your ma'ma. This DVD helped me get to know her, in my own language. I wasn't there to compete with anyone, had I given it to you then that is what it would have felt like. So I waited to give it to you when you were alone. Treat it with the respect it deserves. This is a gift from your ma'ma, not me. I was just honored enough to get to record it for her."

"Thank you." I manage through painful sobs. "I feel like an ass, I thought you didn't care at all and here you did something wonderful for her, for me."

"I care. If I hadn't I wouldn't have been able to walk into that damn funeral home more or less a cemetery." Daniel clarifies, finishing the fifth. He slams it down the bottle. "No more drinking." I work to regain my composure. "I am going to crash on this couch and I will leave when I am sober. I only ask that you don't fuck anyone but me in this place. If we do make it, this is our home and it is perfect for us. I hate house hunting but I am a jealous idiot and will insist on doing so if you do. Same goes for the playroom, off limits."

"I will pack it up and make it a spare bedroom. Mike or whoever might end up crashing here but no sex." I agree and nod at his glare. "And new furniture if we decide on a monogamous fresh start."

"Thank you for not hating me, you have every right in the world to." Daniel mutters.

"You're not my favorite person right now Daniel." I remind him. "We have long, hard road ahead of us." It felt strange to say that after learning what he did for Alec and my ma'ma. If he hadn't cheated with Isaac and treated me so poorly during my recovery he would be my husband right now and there would be no Mike questions.

"We'll start fresh when I am sober." He smiles. "One more thing." Daniel adds while he stretches out. "No collaring. And I don't want a pissing contest, which Mike is good at playing. No more damn hickeys. I can't handle the idea of him leaving his marks on you and if you insist on leaving yours, keep it under his clothes."

"You are a 'little' Daniel. You will carry _his_ marks the moment he realizes you have nothing more to hide." I remind him coldly. "You are not considering how possessive he is going to be of you? I doubt you can tell him he can't leave his marks on your skin, especially bite marks."

"Fine, but try not to let me see them, even if it means fucking half clothed." He mutters.

"Right that is a logical fix, you drunk ass. Me fuck you with a shirt on and let your mind wander. Get some fucking sleep, sober up and get out. We are not having a date until Rachel officially diagnosis you and I meet Isaac."

"Where are you going?" Daniel asks, watching me steer my wheelchair back to the front door.

"Out." I respond coldly. "Don't be here when I get back."


	12. Cleaning House

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright! Try it and I will sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Cleaning House**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

I wasn't planning on going into work until tomorrow, but Daniel's sudden appearance and blatant confession really didn't give me much of an option. My instinct was to run to Alec, but he and Bobby are both at the Youth-In-Need Center and I really don't want to bother him. Those two have gone out of their way for me so much, I feel I have become a burden. Plus, honestly I can't keep going to Alec every time I want to cry and throw things.

On my way in my head was spinning. On one hand I was filled with so much relief it hurt. Daniel was the kind of man I wanted in my life. He does care. He saved a guy's life that didn't deserve saving in order to save Alec's. And this DVD, my ma'ma wouldn't have opened up to him like that if she didn't trust him and feel him worthy. It made everything so right. This information should have made the world spin straight again.

But it simply couldn't. He chose to cheat, to lie. This selfish decision not only affected our relationship, it affected my health. I almost lost the ability to fucking walk because he needed his ass filled with cock! The thought makes me angry and ill. My instinct is to run, cut him out cold. But he had a solid argument. I would be questioning the choice forever if I didn't take a few months to really contemplate the decision. Could I honestly forgive a cheater?

My mind is screaming never. But my dad's advice about letting my heart rule was speaking softly. Plus, I can't overlook what happened to him. His crazy ex-boyfriend kidnapped him, tortured him, and attempted to mentally poison him against me in hopes Daniel would come running back. Come on the man is human, despite logic some of that shit had to sink in, no matter how much he fought it.

But then my head goes back to the night in his car. Where we agreed to confess everything. I told him about my fucking spree and he couldn't fess up to a few dates. Nor later on could he tell me that he made some new friends while he was away? Who could blame him for having a social life? But had I known I would have been more keen to what type of friends he made. I would have seen Isaac being the threat that he turned out to be. And I would not have Bobby Spencer risking his life trying to connect Daniel to Cassandra. Fuck this paranoia. Yeah it's my personality but Daniel lied so much it threw off my compass. Leaving me angry again.

When the driver gets close to my office building I tell him about a detour and that after I want to use the front door. He is surprised but makes the appropriate adjustments on his route. According to Mike my recent absences have been affecting the bottom line and that shit stops today.

After my unexpected stop, I stroll into the front door of my business and immediately the front desk receptionist jumps to her feet, greets me with a smile that is hiding her concern and asks if I need anything. "Yes, I need Mike Walker in the lobby right now. I don't care what meeting he is in or if you have to personally fetch him out of one yourself." I hand her my access pass so she can do just that. She stares at it like it is gold, "He won't answer your calls and my phone is off." I explain smiling, "Tell him to bring his tablet and give him my pass. Also, get yourself some breakfast from my conference room."

"Of course." She replies with a smile but I can tell she is nervous and honestly surprised.

"Ms. Davis." I call after her when she hits the elevator button.

"Sir?" she smiles.

"Who are these people?" I ask, curious.

"Just your normal crowd, trying to get on your calendar Sir." She smiles and hesitates as the elevator door opens.

"Slide the card before you hit the restricted floors." She follows my instructions and I call after her as the doors close. "Ms. Davis, have Mr. Walker get you coverage so you can eat upstairs without rushing."

I turn my chair to the crowd, staring at me. All of them are in their own definition of professionally dressed. Almost all. One looks like he just left one of my concerts but his hair is clean and so are his fingernails. All of them are sitting up, straight as boards. All of them know there is a fat chance in hell that I would ever have a meeting with them. The protocol is for them to leave their demo tapes and if I am interested in their sound, they will be contacted. Very few ever are. That aside, there is one massive thing they all have in common, they are sitting here to beat the odds. They are hoping that maybe, just maybe something awesome will happen to them. They are dreamers and dreamers are usually dedicated workers.

"Normal protocol is extensive background and drug tests before I even think to consider hiring a staff member." I announce to the crowd as a whole. Causing a few surprised and curious faces. "And I hire every single member in this company. I give the final stamp of approval from the janitor to my executive assistants." I smile at them. "If you want Blackboard Entertainment on your resume, then stick around and I will put you on the full time payroll wherever I believe you will fit. I will give you all a three month contract that allows you access, after your work hours, to my studio's where you can clean up your sound. After the three months, you will submit it to me personally with a five minute pitch."

"Wow, thank you Sir." A young man wearing blue jeans and an _Eyes of Seduction_ t-shirt pipes up.

I cringe, "Please it's Mr. Reynolds and you're welcome." I hear the elevator door ping and a very distraught Mike almost runs out.

"Boss, is everything alright?" he asks almost in a pure panic.

"Everything is just fine Mike." I smile, causing his form to relax from fear to simple confusion. "I was just telling these hopefuls they can be on my payroll and have access to small studio's for three months to clean up their sound." Mike's eyebrow raises. "Hire all who want to be hired, send them to human resources. And that guy over there." I point to the one who actually thanked me. "I want him in my personal staff."

"Boss?" Mike asks in surprise.

"He's polite. Managed to impress me more in five minutes than half my personal assistants in the past six months." I drop my finger and smile at him, "Sorry to point, I didn't catch your name."

He stands up in surprise and gives a polite hand shake. "Zachary Umile." He responds nervously, "I mean Zach. It is incredible to meet you Mr. Reyonlds."

I shake his hand and smile, "Get the fanboy out of your system quick. I am going to be working your ass off. If you earn it, I will get the girls to get you an autographed cover of their new album that will be released early next year."

"I'll earn it Mr. Reynolds." He smiles confidently, his face beaming.

I turn to Mike, "Once Mr. Umile is finished with human resources I want to see him at that empty assistant desk by mid-afternoon. As for the rest, they have twenty-four hours to provide me with a resume so I can determine where to place them. If they don't, have Cindy delete them from our system."

"Of course." Mike notes, getting on the phone. "Um boss, background, drug tests?" Mike whispers in my ear while the phone rings.

"We'll deal with it if it is an issue." I mutter, waving him off.

The crowd looks at me curious and the only guy in jeans with envy. "He's calling human resources." I explain. "If you are scared of hard work or don't want to risk giving up the job you got, now is the time to leave. Remember I am promising you a job, one you might hate, not a band contract." No one moves. "Good, welcome to the team."

I hear the elevator door open again and Cindy from human resources smiles at me, walks over to Mike and then looks at the excited and shocked crowd. After a few moments she approaches me. "Mr. Walker informs me that we have some new hires this morning." She smiles, though it is obvious she is faking it.

"Yes, we do." I inform her with a warning look. She drops the fake smile takes a breath and makes it a bit more genuine. She then informs the crowd to follow her, while Mike hands me back my access pass.

"Take notes." I tell Mike turning back to the lobby. "I am cleaning house today. Ms. Davis gets a twenty percent raise."

Mike pulls out his tablet and follows me. I start at the bottom floor with our vault attendants to our garage security and all the way up to my high rise office, not missing a single desk, stairwell, break area or conference room. I have Mike make a list of people missing and have him verify with human resources as to why they were gone. I also tell him I will be performing another spot check next week to verify their dedication as well. In the end I fired thirty-seven people, placed over forty on probation and gave raises to those I thought seen fit. I was being nice, more than once I allowed a manager I respected save an employee's job. Of course those who fell into this category got a three month pay dock and an extended probation.

It was nearly four o'clock in the afternoon when I was done. I was beat when I reached my office but was pleased to see Mr. Umile exactly where I wanted him. I make my way over to his desk. "Mr. Umile, do you mind if I call you Zach or Zachary?"

"Um Zachary is fine Mr. Reynold's. My friends call me Zach." He blushes.

"Well, I hope one day to call you Zach then." I smile. "I haven't properly introduced Mr. Mike Walker."

"How do you do Sir." Zachary smiles politely, shaking Mike's hand.

"I am not sure what Cindy explained to you but let me explain my expectations. You are working for me. If I tell you to get coffee, you drop what you are doing and get me damn coffee. If you are stuck on an assignment, you ask Mr. Walker. By no means do you allow anyone through that door without an appointment unless he is on my V.I.P. list but even then I want them announced. Alec Impavido, will be by far the one who will push you on this but do try."

"Yes, Sir. I mean Mr. Reynolds." He smiles, grabbing a pen and taking notes.

"Call me Boss, it's easier." I correct, watching Mike stiffen a little. "We are who you work for. Don't let anyone else push you around. Anyone tries, you tell us. You are here because you impressed me, I suggest you keep that going. I don't care if you go out to lunch to eat but this desk will be covered at all times, even if that means asking Mr. Walker to do it. You cannot fear us, nor can you consider us your friends. You want to earn our trust, so make sure your actions do it. Mike has an additional non-disclosure form for you to sign, I know you already signed one to get access to this floor and my personal contact information but this one is shall we say unique. If you can't agree to it, be honest and leave. I do hope you work out Zachary, I am in desperate need of order."

I don't give him and chance to reply and go into my office. Mike stays behind to give the man some vital information like restricted cell numbers and general advice on how to be my assistant. I take the moment to simply calm down. It's been a hell of a day.

Mike enters my office, just as exhausted as I am. "I gave Zach the rest of the day off to absorb." He sits himself down at my desk and stares at me. "Want to tell me what they hell is bothering you?"

"The house needed cleaning, you said so yourself." I mutter. "You can screen my e-mails for the next few days to deal with it. Also I want that mandatory company-wide meeting to have grand catering, three or four shifts, the less the better. I want to assure the ones who are here that they are safe as long as they fucking work. I also want IT to do a random audit of the entire staff, including you. And I want every department audited."

"That's some scrubbing Boss." Mike bitches.

"Needs to be done." I shrug.

"And the new hires?" he asks, cautiously.

"Did you see them Mike? They have drive to want to be here. They knew they had a fat chance in hell this morning but they came here anyway in hope of a dream. What the hell is wrong with that?"

"You made Ms. Davis' job that much harder," he shrugs, "words most likely out on the street by now. Blackboard Entertainment, willing to hire even you."

"She got a raise, she can earn it." I reply dryly, rubbing my temples.

"You hire Zach for his looks?" he asks boldly, not hiding his jealousy.

"Didn't really notice. He just told me thank you." I admit. "If you want to fuck him I can make it so he doesn't report to you. But please wait until after you have him trained."

"Okay, you just hired a drop dead gorgeous man, whom by the way is most likely straight, and you didn't notice? What the hell is wrong with you?" he demands.

"Daniel has been cheating on me since my first surgery." I admit. "He wasn't bitter about what I did to save your lives. He wasn't pushing me to walk because of the choice I made. He was simply not meeting my eyes because of his own personal guilt. It had nothing to do with me."

Mike is silent for a while. "So I take it he is no longer in the picture?"

"You would think." I bitch. "But he might be." Mike goes to protest and I simply shake my head. "It's complicated, I am not getting into it until I have something to get into. I said might." Mike stares at me. "It hurts, I won't lie and my petty self wants to spread you across this desk and make us have a hickey fest. But that wouldn't be fair to you. I won't use you like that. What you and I are testing out, it deserves respect."

"I agree." He shrugs. "But the respect can start tomorrow Clay. You just cleaned house; that had to make you feel good. Now let me make you feel better."

"Don't tempt me Mike." I warn. "Besides there is Sean."

"Sean and I are fine with poly." He assures me. "Have you taken your medicine?"

"So I could fire my staff with lawsuits of medical issues? Not my first rodeo. I stopped to have my blood tested for any and all drugs before I came to keep our lawyers off my ass. It's been three days since I took the stuff."

"You must be in hell of a lot of pain." Mike frowns. "And you aren't helping the healing process by going off of everything."

"I'll take them tomorrow." I promise, "Just took advantage of an all too clear head."

He stands up and sits himself on the front of my desk, putting his clothed cock inches from my face. "Feet, kit." He orders. I don't deny him, my bandages do need changing. He is tender while he does it, taking his time, working in silence. When he is finished with my last foot he wraps his legs around the metal bars of my chair, causing him to spread eagle. He pulls his dick from his pants and grabs my hair on the back of my head. "Suck." He demands, pushing me into his legs, I glare but he pushes my head in his lap and I am helpless to the taste of his beautiful dick. He lets my head go, giving me the option to change my mind but I don't. Instead I claw at his pants getting better access.

He stops me after a while, his cock dripping in pre-cum and my saliva. He stands up, undresses, and picks me up out of my chair. He places me on my desk, rips my shirt off and drops his mouth into the crook of my neck. "Fuck!" I curse the moment his teeth sink into my skin, dragging my nails deep into the skin of his back.

He pulls away slowly putting his hot breath in my ear. "I've missed the taste of your skin." He nibbles, carefully getting my pants off. "Was he giving or taking?" he asks, reaching for the lube he knows I keep hidden in my desk.

"Taking." I answer angrily, not wanting to think about it in this moment. Mike pulls me to the edge of my desk and I moan when I feel his thumb tease my hole. He knows I don't take but I find myself moaning at his teasing.

"My dick is going right here." He informs me, kissing on my neck. "Tell me no, tell me you want to keep this ass just for him." I grab him by his hair and meet his eyes. His eyes are liquid fire, his teasing more and more intense. "Tell me where my dick goes Clay." He whispers putting the bottle of lube in my hand. I pop the lid and lube his dick. "Beg." He states kissing me hard.

I push his cock against my hole. "Please Mike, fuck me." I beg, gasping when he lands himself in with one hard thrust as his fingernails dig into my ass and his teeth sink down on the other side of my neck. My eyes roll, I rarely bottom, I can count on one hand the number of men I let do it. This is the first time I let Mike and this is the first time in my entire sexual life it ever felt this good. He fit my ass perfectly. He must have thought so too because he lifted his head and searched my eyes, stilling himself, suddenly unsure. In new territory myself I kiss him, but it wasn't the angry kissing we started with it was tender.

"Clay," he whispers. I grab the open lube and cover my dick, wrapping his hand around it. He starts to massage my cock tenderly and his dick massages my ass just the same. We both work for breath. I kiss him again, keeping it soft and tender. He barely moves inside me, barely caresses my hard dripping dick. Eventually it becomes too much and he starts to move a faster and faster.

"Resist it, please." I beg. "Not yet."

"Clay!" he cries, forcing himself still but bites into my incomplete hickey. He manages to stay still while he painfully sucks on my neck. When he pulls up he had found his calm. I reward him with a kiss, knowing he could do it, he is after all practiced in delayed gratification. We both moan and start the tender cycle all over again. After about an hour and the three more painful resistant's Mike grabs my throat. "We have to, it's time." He squeezes my throat to prevent me from begging, cutting off my airway. We continue to kiss and he cums into my ass. He works my cock just a moment longer before pushing me down on my desk and making me cum all over my chest and neck, keeping his dick buried. "Fucking hell that's hot." He smiles reaching for his phone in his forgotten pants, taking pictures. He tosses the phone aside and I whimper when he leaves my sore hole. I feel his hot tongue licking up my cum and gasp with each small hickey he leaves behind while he does it.

When he is finished he helps me get back into my pants and puts me back in my wheelchair. While I finished dressing starts to get dressed himself. "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting that." He frowns. "I was aiming for angry sex."

I pull out my chapstick use it and toss it to him. "I know."

He checks his watch. "I really should go, it's late."

"I thought you were fighting for me." I challenge causing him to snap his head in my direction. "If you are, take me back to your bed, show me how much your ass missed my cock inside it." He walks over to me, picks me out of my wheelchair and carries me to his office. "Where are we going?" I demand, surprised at this detour.

"To my bed." He answers closing his office door and locking it, then he moves to a bookshelf and causes a spring to release.

"You didn't!" I accuse, as I am carried into a small room with a large bed, keenly observing the kink toys hanging on the walls and ceiling.

"You said I could have whatever I wanted." He smiles, placing me on the bed gently, "I wanted you."

That night we fucked so much we didn't even realize we missed dinner or sleep. At five in the morning he buried himself back into my sore ass and meet my eyes. "Staff arrives as early as seven, we need you out of here by then."

"Shut up and fuck me." I bitch not wanting to be remind that reality was about to crash in on us.

By seven in the morning, Mike has breakfast ordered and we are eating comfortably in his office. He even had clean clothes and toothbrushes for the both of us, when I questioned he asked me when, if I ever, I knew him not to be prepared. To the staff it looks like an early conference meeting, for us, it was that mixed with the morning after.

"You realize the day I am about to have." He complains, shoving hot scrambled eggs down his throat.

"I am sure mine isn't going to be better." I moan, not wanting to think about human resources or lawyers. "But the fat needed to be trimmed. And I needed to re-establish my presence."

"Oh you did that. Everyone is going to fear you for months." Mike smiles. "Feels good doesn't it? The control."

"Not bitching." I smile, drinking my juice.

"I can't be your submissive." Mike blurts out, causing me to chock. I look up at him confused. "I know I told you that I am only a submissive but after _that_."

"After what? Hot fucking sex, you decide you can't kneel for me?" I ask lost.

"I kneel for you every damn day, always have." He points out. "We both crave me assisting you like that. Don't you think it will be too much to bring into our bedroom? Especially after the way I fit in you." I glare at him. "Think back Clay, who was begging, who was in control? _That_ was natural. _That_ was us."

"Are you hearing yourself? You have been a submissive for years." I argue.

"I switch." He defends. "Not often and I usually hate it but I do. Last night, I wasn't hating it."

"There were no toys last night." I remind him, "Despite the selection. Fucking A that must have cost you a mint." I chew on my food. "Look, I tried this whole switch shit with Daniel and it gave me a damn headache. A relationship can't have two Dom's. It doesn't work." I take another drink. "You are craving control because you want this to work out, you don't want to share me and you want to keep me to yourself." He looks wounded. "I am not in any hurry to jump into kink. But when we do, we can test out both sides, see what is natural, go from there."

"You would submit to me?" he asks, cautiously.

"I am willing to discover our relationship Mike. I am tired of labeling shit and trying to fit in it." I clarify.

"Okay." He replies, grabbing the bag attached to my chair. I watch with a glare as he patiently takes out the proper dose of each of my medicines and places them on my plate. "You need these to heal."

"I hate them Mike. They fuck with my sex drive and mess with my head. I am not me when I am on them. Not to mention the headaches."

"Then stop fucking up your grafts and heal." He retorts evenly.

Mike is right, I can't reject this graft so alas, I grab them with a huff and swallow them with my juice. He smiles. Before I could bitch further, we hear a knock on Mike's door. "Um, sorry to interrupt," Zachary says nervously, "but I have Cindy from human resources and says the guy with her is a lawyer sitting in your waiting room telling me it's urgent and that it's my job if I don't interrupt."

"Who do you report to Zachary?" I ask calmly.

"You and Mike Si- I mean Boss." He responds.

"Thank you for informing us that someone is trying to push you around." I respond with a smile. "Go back to your desk and inform them that they are to wait in that lobby until I call for them. Ignore any future threats, you are not getting fired unless you interrupt us again."

"Of course, sorry Boss." Zachary stammers.

I turn to Mike in hot anger. "Remind me why I can't fire Cindy again?"

"She's four months pregnant. It's more headache than it's worth." Mike responds finishing his breakfast.

"Doesn't mean I can't demote her ass. Hand pick a new human resource director, promote within." I tell him. "Keep Cindy at the same pay but make sure she hates her new role."

"Her and Dave from accounting don't get along." Mike tosses out there.

"Then make Dave her new boss." I order. "Give your hand pick choice five grand more than what Cindy is making and an extra week vacation." I finish my juice. "She pissed me off two days in a row. I'm done."

"How long should I make her wait?" Mike asks.

"Long enough for you to announce by email who the new department head is. After of course informing them in person." I shrug. "Once you do, have Cindy debrief them on this urgent matter and I will have a meeting with the new director and this lawyer." I mutter feeling a headache coming on.

Mike goes through his notes in his tablet. "You gave three human resource employees raises yesterday and you told me to freeze two managers. I could promote above experience but that won't sit well." He keeps pressing on his tablet, looking over personal files. "I have two managers apply for human resource openings in the past year. One of which you gave a raise to yesterday."

"We have a winner." I grunt. "I am going to have a short meeting with Zachary. Can you get Alec on the phone, tell him I really need a meeting with him?"

"He doesn't know?" Mike asks.

"He's about to." I back my chair away and make my way to my office.

Once there I call in Zachary and try to get the young man to relax. I probe his personal life a little and discover he is married to his high school sweetheart and they are expecting their first child. I gave them a break of a life time and he is terrified of messing it up. I assure him as long as he keeps myself and Mike happy he has nothing to worry about. I also assure him that it isn't difficult as long as he can keep appointments straight and plan ahead, reminding him he can use Mike as a resource for that. I can tell he is more itching to sing for my company not work as an executive assistant. Even call him out and he blushes in admittance but told me with a baby coming he couldn't ask for a better job. At the end of the meeting I warned Zachary to expect the unexpected and promised him, it isn't as boring as it sounds.

Zachary gets back to his desk in time to see Cindy poorly react to a company wide e-mail. The entire floor can hear her. I wait outside the door, listening to Zachary's reaction to it. The man was surprised, as was the lawyer. He asked Cindy to calm down but she told him to go fuck himself. Instead of running with his tail tucked between his legs he warned her if she didn't settle he would call security, ending up having to do just that. I was impressed.

Mike met Cindy in loss preventions office and prepared to have a doctor meet him there as well. The last thing we need was her to get so stressed she miscarried. Mike got debriefed on her urgent matter and off to a meeting I went. Her urgent matter wasn't really urgent. I was concerned a lawsuit was being slapped on us. She was just assuming I was dumb enough not prepare for a drug test before I cleaned house. The meeting took less than five minutes. Sad really, all she had to do was send a polite email to me and ask. Her overreaction was her own undoing.


	13. Reveal

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright! Try it and I will SUE!**

 **Shattered**

 **Reveal**

 **Alec's Point of View**

"I'm sorry Bobby, Mike called for a meeting with Clayton." I moan, staring at beautiful basketball in envy. He drops his head in disappointment. "I would blow him off but it's his first day back at work."

"I know." Bobby sighs. "I am just jealous. I know I shouldn't be, he's your best friend and all but since his accident and Daniel turning into an ass, he's gotten so damn needy. Where is our time? I'm sorry I am out of line."

"No, you're not." I disagree. "There is a point and this is wearying on all of us. I know its taxing but with his health and now his mom; I can't bail love. But I will take you out soon. Just us, no phones, no distractions."

"Sounds nice." He smiles, but his eyes show his doubt.

Unable to do anything about it I kiss him breathless, and make my way to Clayton's office. When I get there I am so not surprised to find yet another stranger sitting in the assistant's desk. I ignore him but am a little surprised to find him on my heels.

"Sorry Boss, should I get security?"

"No." Clayton smiles. "Zachary this is my impatient friend Alec, Alec this is Zachary."

I turn to the young kid and notice his wedding band immediately. "He is letting you call him 'boss.'" I note, "He must like you. Forgive me, I don't try to make your job difficult but I won't always give a damn about protocol either. I am sure Clayton's warned you."

"If there is nothing else Zachary you are excused." Clayton dismisses him.

"Of course Boss." He says walking out of the office, closing the door behind him.

"Everything alright?" I ask when we are alone, "Mike said that it wasn't urgent but really couldn't wait?" When I sit down I see multiple hickey's on his neck. "You know I get that you and Mike are biters but must you make it look liked you fucked a vampire? It's childish."

"It was actually the best sex of my life." He replies. By the shock of the look on his face he wasn't expecting to say it. I sure the hell wasn't expecting to hear it. "I mean," he clears his throat, turning red. "Fuck, Angel I'm sorry."

"No, don't." I clear my throat in awkwardness. "I just didn't realize you thought that about Mike."

"To be fair, I didn't until yesterday." He answers looking really confused. "I mean great yeah but that, that I can't describe."

"Then please don't try." I rush, holding up my hands. An awkward silence falls between us. I can't believe how much that hurt. I chose Bobby, so why does it feel like he just stabbed me through the heart? "Tell me this isn't the reason you had me leave work."

"It's Daniel." He answers, obviously grateful for the topic change. I would be too except I am so exhausted with the Daniel drama it makes my stomach twist. I can't tell you the number of times I have been forced to not pumble the guy. "He was at the house when I got back from my dad's. Before I could kick him out he gave me something." He hands me a DVD. "It's my mom. I can't bring myself to watch it alone Alec. But he apparently helped her make this."

I won't deny that surprised me. "If you would like to come over tonight and watch it together." I offer.

"I really would like that." He smiles.

"You doing okay?" I ask.

"I have my moments." He admits. "There is something else about Daniel."

"Oh?" I ask, watching his face fall.

"He's been having an affair. . ."

The words hit like bullets and I find myself on my feet, causing my chair to topple over. "Excuse me!"

"He was just sitting in our living room drinking, telling ever so calmly how he's lied to me. He told me he met him during our break up but didn't start fucking him until after we got back together. After Brad. He said it's why he couldn't look me in the eye."

"I'm going to kill him!" I scream through clenched teeth. "That son of a bitch almost made you lose your damn feet because he was _cheating!"_

Without another word I tear open the door and stomp out, ignoring Clayton calling after me. After making a few calls on Daniel's whereabouts, I find him at Ben's. I pound on the front door until Daniel answers. The moment he does, I cold cock his ass across the living room.

Daniel scrambles to his feet, whipping blood off his face. "I deserved that."

"I'm not done!" I warn, pounding into him again. He isn't fighting back and I don't give two shits. The fucker hurt Clayton not just emotionally but physically. Three surgeries, two unnecessary painstaking surgeries because this asshole couldn't man the fuck up. With each flash of Clayton in pain my fist hits Daniel's face, over and over. Only until he lets out a loud scream do I stop, jumping off of him and backing away to calm the fuck down.

"You done?" Daniel asks, sitting up slowly. I glare at him, trying to steady my breathing. "So he told you about Isaac." Daniel spits blood onto Ben's wooden floor. "Are you going to kill me? We both know you are capable of it."

"Don't' fucking tempt me!" I reply through clinched teeth, getting angry again.

"Do you even realize how close you were? What it took to save Brad's life?" He asks. "You beat hi, so fucking badly it took a kidney transplant and the best doctors money could buy. I should know, I footed the damn bill!"

"What?" I ask in astonishment. This was news to me, I have been digging into Daniel for months and nowhere did I find a money trail on Brad, in any fashion.

"I couldn't let you be a murderer. Despite how much I hate your victim and the way it will look to him if ever he wakes up."

"Am I supposed to thank you?" I ask, catching him off guard. "You think saving my conscious helped Clayton somehow? You think that trumps the fact that he almost lost his feet because of your inability to look him in the eye? The fact that he trusted you with his heart, not once but twice, and you treated it like fucking garbage!"

"I love him!" Daniel yells at me.

"Then I really don't want to see the way you hate someone Daniel." I reply coldly. "Stay away from him. You are nothing but poison and I won't stand for it anymore."

"That isn't your choice Alec." Daniel retorts. "Clayton hasn't made up his mind on what he wants, until he does, I am fighting for him."

"That's the thing about you Kingsley, always willing to fight for him when you think you no longer have him on your precious mantel to show off. But when you have him, you don't appreciate him." I flex my bleeding knuckles. "You're right, I can't stop you from fighting but I can stop you from winning. You _know_ how much _my_ approval means to Clayton."

"You owe me!" he yells angrily, "The least you can do is butt the fuck out!"

"I owe you nothing. You think blackmail will get you anywhere with me? That by saving a maniacs life you somehow saved mine? You're wrong. See you didn't calculate one small fact about me."

"What's that?"

"I'll do anything to protect Clayton, and that includes murder. You'd be wise to remember that."

"I'm not a threat." He argues, rubbing more blood from his nose.

"To hell you aren't!"

"You can hate me all you want Alec at the end of the day this is a choice Clayton needs to make." I clinch my hands into fists. "Or could you live with that? Making it for him? What if Mike doesn't make him as happy as he was with me before I was a _victim_? What if the consoling and AA Clayton is demanding works? When he comes to you with these questions, could you live with taking away his choice? You were a slave once Alec, you are talking about taking away Clayton's free will."

We stare each other down for a long while. Cursing under my breath I finally answer him. "Do you understand a definition of a soul mate Daniel?" I ask, hating that he has a valid argument. "When one hurts, the other hurts." I flex my hand. "You want to fix this shit with Clayton, you have to fix this with me. And I promise, I am a lot more stubborn than Clayton and I can't be wooed by your romantic charms."

He stands up straighter. "Fair enough. I fucked up our friendship just as much as I did my relationship with Clayton." He waves a finger around his swollen, bleeding face, "This help?"

"You going to go whine to Clayton about it?"

"No, it's well deserved. Something he would have done himself if he were able I'm sure." Daniel frowns.

"One more fuck up and I will not only destroy you. I will make him hate you." I warn, walking out the door, more angry than when I came.

I should go back to work but my hands are covered in blood and that is not something I want my kids to see. Annoyed I head home for the evening, texting Bobby and asking he grab some pizza for three on the way home, promising to explain later. I can tell by his silence he is not pleased. I understand, but there is no way in hell I can bail on Clayton tonight.

On the drive home, I connect my Bluetooth and text Mike asking he call. I've tried calling him before but he never expects me to say anything so he just answers and hangs up. So texting first usually avoids the annoyance. It takes him a few minutes but eventually my music is interrupted with his call.

"How is he?" I ask, both of us knowing I am referring to Clayton.

"Annoyed mostly." Mike answers. "What gives?"

"He tell you what Daniel did?" I ask, still angry.

"Mentioned an affair." Mike replied bitterly.

"You believe it?" I ask.

"You must. I am assuming you stormed out of there to kick his ass." Mike responds dryly.

"His ass has needed to be kicked for months. Even if he was lying through his teeth." I growl.

"There is that." Mike responds, in a lighter tone.

"Clayton mention anything else?" I ask, always cautious to make sure I don't give Mike more information than Clayton would want him to know.

"No." Mike sighs, "But apparently he is holding out."

"He's protecting me." I explain.

"Ah." Mike responds, sounding relieved.

"Daniel mentioned something to me and most likely Clayton that would have a massive money trail." I respond cryptically. "Look into his finances, around the time of the attack and up to six months after, see what you can find."

"Can you be anymore specific?" Mike asks.

"Not without breaking confidences. You find it, I will confirm. You didn't tell me your thoughts on Daniel's affair."

"My opinion of Daniel is rather low either way." Mike responds. "If he is lying about the affair he is doing it to try to make Clayton jealous of him because Daniel is jealous of me. If he isn't lying about the affair, as much as I hate to say it, it means this Brad thing really fucked him up. But he hasn't really been himself since before he broke up with Clayton the first time. Or maybe he has, and the honeymoon stage is over. What about you?"

"I think it's a clever way to hide something. But then again Daniel is known for his jealousy."

"I'll look into it. I can also look into the person he is claiming to be fucking but I need a name."

"I'll see what I can do. I didn't give Clayton time to give me one." I admit.

"Thanks, anything else?" Mike asks.

"Yeah, this Zachary guy. What gives?"

"Clayton cleaned house on Monday. Fired a shit ton of dead weight and made a statement with the human resource department. He hired Zachary and a few others from the lobby, without background checks or drug screening. So far that has not bit him in the ass. Anyway, Zachary was there to drop off a demo and try to get a moment of someone's time. Now he has a cozy job and Clayton's personal ear. Clayton offered him and the other's a chance to present clean demo's with access to the studio. They have three months." Mike explains.

"Sounds like a project." I smile.

"It is, but I can't tell you why he picked Zachary over the rest of them to be his assistant and call him 'boss'." Mike replies, trying to keep jealousy out of his voice.

"Background?"

"Newly married, baby on the way. No criminal record. I've heard him sing, he has what it takes. The moment Clayton choses to shine the light, Zachary will go far. I just think Clayton wants to mold him first."

"Good." I smile. "Clayton needs the distraction and taking someone under his wing is not a bad thing. I suggest you try to keep it professional around him. Don't want him thinking you are managers by day, vampires by night."

"Cute." Mike laughs. "We got carried away. Fuck Alec, I've missed him."

"I still have reservations with this, seeing how much he needs you professionally. But for what it's worth, you got my vote."

"That is worth plenty. Thank you."

"Let me know when you have something." I remind him, hanging up.

Thankfully, I make it back to my place before Clayton arrives. Surprised to find Bobby's truck in our driveway. I get inside and I find him plugging in his phone. When I enter the room he takes one look at me, crosses his arms around his chest and waits.

"Clayton was given a DVD that his mother recorded." I explain, making my way to the kitchen sink and start washing the mixture of mine and Daniel's blood off my hands. "He's asked not to watch it alone."

"You're a good friend Alec. I'm more than happy to support you through something like that." Bobby answers shortly. "But where the hell have you been? And don't tell me Clayton's office because he called looking for you."

"I went to Ben's." I shrug, wiping my hands with a dishtowel. "Had an unexpected meeting with Daniel's face."

"You didn't go to _him_ then?" Bobby asks, hurt clear in his eyes.

"No." I answer putting the towel down. "I don't lie to you Bobby, even when I know it hurts. I wouldn't tell you I was going to see Clayton just to have a session with _him_." I touch his face, "Is that why you closed the center early today?"

"I closed the center early because Clayton called and sounded upset. I thought you were with him and he didn't know where you were." Bobby answers annoyed.

"I do answer my phone. You could have asked when I texted." I answer annoyed.

"I didn't get your text until about ten minutes ago." Bobby frowns. "I accidently left my phone here." He runs his hand through his hair, "I took the long way home, seeing if something happened to you. I've been in a slight panic. I go and pick it up pizza."

"Don't worry about the pizza. I'm sorry I worried you." I whisper, bringing him to me. "I'm fine, see."

"Cassandra's out there, the Quattro is always watching you . . . Don't do that okay. Tell someone where you are. Even if it means you went to see him."

"Daniel claims to be cheating on Clayton." I explain. "Clayton had a pretty damn good idea where I was."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Bobby bitches.

"Oh no. Best part, fucker tried to blackmail me in rooting for him over Mike."

"How?" Bobby asks, standing taller.

"Through stupidity. Don't worry love he has nothing on me. He's just desperate." I stand on my toes and he lowers himself to my lips, we kiss tenderly for a few moments.

"Master I am in so much need." Bobby admits, catching me off balance for a moment. I pull away and put my hands on his face. He falls to his knees and holds my waist, keeping eye contact. "I can't get out of my head. I know we share a bed and even our work place but I feel like you are a million miles away. I'm ready to bring the playroom back into our relationship. Please."

My eyes narrow. "Are you sure?"

"I trust you. I know you were only protecting those you love. Master, I forgive you." He answers, tears welding in his eyes.

I wrap my arms around his kneeling form and take a few breaths, fighting tears myself. "Thank you love, that means the world."

He pulls away but looks up at me. "You've been punishing yourself." I lift an eyebrow at him. "You haven't submitted since I chose to put this part of us on hold."

"It's only fair Bobby." I reply, touching his face. "How could you get your point across if I sought release elsewhere?"

"Thank you. I respect you for that." He kisses my hand. "But it's okay now Master, you can go to him when you need to."

I give him a sad smile, "not until I meet your needs love. You come first, always." He literally vibrates in my arms. I hear the doorbell, causing me to curse under my breath and Bobby to drop his head in my stomach. "Go to our bedroom, I will be right there." I order him, hating that I can't meet his need right then and there.

I open the door to find Clayton on the other side, glaring at me. "We will fight later alright, just come in and wait in the living room, I have something I have to take care of." I tell him before he can speak. I can tell he is about to snap out a sarcastic remark so I add, "It's Bobby, we really need a few moments. Then we will figure out dinner." I don't give Clayton a chance to respond as I make my way to my bedroom.

Bobby is there, kneeling next to our bed waiting. I lift his chin up but he refuses to make eye contact. It didn't matter I knew what his eyes would express, he's frustrated; just like I am. "What do you need love? Pain? Submission? Both?" I ask, keeping my voice low and caring, refusing to rush.

"Both Master." He answers.

"I do need you love." I assure him. "Drop your pants." I instruct walking away. I go into our play room, grab a few toys and meet him. Bobby had dropped his pants to his knees and bowed on his hands and knees, when I am in range, he grabs my ankle and kisses the top of my foot. "Knees." I order. He does so and I take his limp cock and wrap a long piece of yarn around it tightly, starting at the base, up to the tip and back down again three times, making sure his whole cock was covered and impossible for any growth. When I am satisfied he will be in pain from any pleasure I tie it around his sac several times until I am out of string. "Ass in the air." I order. When he complies I slide his largest, cool metal butt plug up his ass. He moans as it stretches him, gasping from the pain of it and the restrictive string as his cock attempts to grow. We don't use this size very often, it is meant to cause discomfort and pain. When it is in I slap his ass. "This stays until I say otherwise." I warn, raising him back up on just his knees. He says nothing but we both know it is a challenge, the body's instinct is after all wanting it out, not keeping it in. I lift his shirt and attach teardrop weights to each of his nipple rings, not our heaviest set, but not the nicest. "Get dressed love, we have company."

"Master please, more." He begs, not moving from his knees.

I give him a look of concern and disappointment. "You know I normally have no problem having you submit in front of our friends Bobby, but I don't think making it bluntly obvious is a good thing tonight." I touch his cheek. "I can give you more soon. I promise. Dress now."

"Alec." He whispers grabbing my wrists and stares at me for the longest moment. "I know his name Alec, the one you kneel for." My eyes widen in shock, I try to step away but he his grip is firm on my wrists. "I don't understand. I am trying to understand."

"I made a deal." I whisper, in true denial of being confronted. "I did it to save Levi and protect Clayton."

"Is that all?" he asks, his eyes piercing "You never go just to be with him?"

"Bobby love, please." I whisper.

"Master, please I am asking you to trust me with the truth."

I kneel in front of him, searching for words. "I didn't seek him out when I was free. But when I surrendered my freedom …" _Breathe Alec, it's okay._ Glory assures me in my head.

"Freedom?" he asked pained.

"I'm so sorry Bobby." I whisper, shaking my head. "It isn't like before, I swear." I swallow hard, "He has given me as much freedom as possible. My sessions are optional." I take a deep breath, "I didn't realize I missed it until I had it again." I lick my lips. "I trust him Bobby. He has given me many reasons to. And yes, I do go to him sometimes because I need it. You've seen his marks Bobby, you know you can't give me this."

He takes a long moment to gather his thought. "Was it your idea not to kneel for him while I refused to do so with you?" he asks.

"No, but I would have requested it if he had not chosen to punish me this way. I meant it when I said that you are first." The silence is deafening. "Bobby, I love you."

"I know." He assures me. "I also know you love him. You said so yourself, once. But, do you love, love him?"

My breath catches in my lungs, I keep my eyes away from his stare. "I hate that the answer to that is yes." I whisper, "But I won't lie to you, even when it hurts." He puts his head to my stomach and starts to cry. "Please don't hate me."

He pulls away, straightening his stance, wiping tears from his eyes. "I don't hate you." He smiles, through his tears. "You kept this from me to protect me?"

"Yes." I answer, shaking in his arms. _Breathe, it's okay, I have you._ Glory assures me.

"I can accept that." He whispers, kissing my lips lightly. "I love you Alec, always."

"Bobby?" I tense, unsure I want to know the answer to my next question. "How did you know his name?"

"I was sent a random text message." He answers. "You were kneeling for Ethan in Clayton's living room."

"That is rather recent." I frown. "I may be kneeling but I am not having any sessions."

"How long has Clayton known?"

"Not long, he doesn't know everything." I assure him. "He wasn't happy that I haven't shared my dominate's name with you."

"Dominate?" Bobby challenges. "He isn't aware that Ethan …"

"Is my Sir?" I frown, "No. I've only trusted you with this." He touches my cheek, giving me a sad smile while I lean into his palm.

He drops his hand, "So Clayton's P.I. could have pushed the point? Keeping his hands clean?"

"Most likely. He is in our living room, we can ask him." I shrug.

"We need to order pizza and get out there. Clayton needs us."

"Bobby I need to know. Does this change us? Are you going to leave?" I ask, terrified of the answer.

He pauses. "I thought about it. But I knew a piece was missing. Having the whole picture helps."

"Does it?" I challenge. _Of course it does, he loves you, you idiot._ Glory scowls in my head. _This is what love is. This is the way it is supposed to be._

He lets out a deep breath, very loudly. "You are in love with Clayton and that has never interfered with us. Ethan has been around longer and before that text clued me in I didn't notice." I hold my breath, staring at him cautiously. "Alec we are not monogamous. Never have been, and if I want to go elsewhere I know I could. I just don't." he shakes his head at the look of skepticism on my face. "How about we invite Ethan over for social purpose now and again?"

I raise my eyebrow at him. "Bobby, that …" I shake my head. "Too awkward."

"No." He disagrees, "hiding him is what is awkward, Alec." He takes my hand, "I won't shun who you love Alec, even if I don't understand it."

"I love you."

"I know, I've never questioned. I love you, you should never doubt."

Without another word he drops my hand, walks out of the bedroom and then into the living room. I follow him up to the living room and watch in astonishment when he turns to Clayton.

"Look Clayton I get you are going through a rough time and I am sorry my timing here sucks but here goes. Daniel is not the man for you. I have known you for years and watching you with him … I hate what you've turned into. Mike is a nice guy but do you really want a relationship with a guy you work so closely with? I mean yeah it works for me and Alec but you and Mike have something more intimate that should not be fucked with lightly. Have you considered dating other people? Someone who doesn't work for you with less emotional bullshit?"

Clayton looks blindsided. "I, um, I …"

"Look," Bobby interrupts, "if you are going to dance between Mike and Daniel, please for the sake of all that is sane kick Daniel to the curb!"

"Bobby." I snap annoyed. Bobby looks at me, I turn my attention to Clayton. "My apologizes Clayton, I wasn't going to do this tonight but I feel it is suddenly necessary." I turn to Bobby. "Corner, now!" Bobby drops to his knees and crawls over to his corner. When he gets there he keeps his head on the floor and places his ass up in the air. I walk out of the room and come back quickly with a gag ball. I put it tight into his mouth. "Weight on your hands." I command. He moves to place weight on his hands and knees. I roll up his shirt so that the nipple weights drop to a hanging position. "Stay."

I turn my attention away from him and sit down next to Clayton. "I humbly apologize for his blunt opinions."

"Don't be, it's Bobby." He shrugs, "He can come out of the corner you know. I am not offended."

"He can wait." I reply, watching Clayton study my eyes.

"You look upset."

"I am." I confirm turning to him. "Bobby has informed about one of my darkest secrets. Safety deposit box dark."

"You want to talk about it?" Clayton asks, truly concerned. He knows I keep my secrets there, just in case. He also knows it has never been opened.

"No." I reply honestly, looking over at the corner. "He said he understands and it changes nothing, I have to trust that."

"Do you want me to go?" Clayton asks.

"No, I just need to order the pizza." I mutter. "Mind getting the drinks ready?"

Once the pizza is ordered and I explain to him that the wait is nearly an hour, Clayton choses to change the topic on me, "I appreciate you holding up your end of the bargain on tonight, considering you stormed out of my office like a child."

"I had something to take care of." I shrug.

"You broke his nose." Clayton replies dryly.

"He deserves worse." I reply unapologetic.

"Truth is, I should be pissed but I would have kicked his ass myself if not for this damn chair." Clayton shrugs. "But your temper didn't give me the chance to tell you everything."

"Do I even want to know?"

"He told me he saved Brad's life." Clayton responds, watching me closely.

"He told me the same." I reply, avoiding his eyes. "I know everyone is worried that I went too far and I am grateful for all of your support. But no matter how annoyed ya get I won't apologize for it. Brad almost killed three of my closest friends and would have tried again had I not stopped him." I open the bottle of water he got me. "Daniel tried to blackmail me with his good deed." That caught Clayton's attention. "Wants me to back him instead of Mike. I told him to go fuck himself."

We are silent for a long while. "He gave me his other boyfriend's name Isaac Strattone. I did a background check of my own, despite him taking care of it for me. Guy is clean." I give him a skeptical look. "Rachel talked to Daniel before you did. She is convinced he is experiencing post-traumatic stress from his kidnapping. I can't walk away from him for reacting poorly about being a victim Alec. Even you have to professionally agree with me there." I say nothing, "So I agreed to couples consoling with her and he has to attend AA meetings. But I drew the line at us kneeling for one another while he bows to Isaac."

"Wait, so he didn't only cheat on your relationship, he broke your contract?" I snap. "Fucker is lucky I didn't let you finish, he would have had a lot more than a broken nose."

"I tried to tell you, but you stormed out before I could mention Daniel is Isaac's 'little'."

That causes water to go up my nose. I put the bottle down, trying to figure out what to say. I have nothing wrong with 'Daddy's' and 'little's'. I just never in a million years thought Daniel Kingsley related to either kink. "Just when I think that man can't surprise me anymore, he manages the impossible."

"I blame Isaac." Clayton responds angrily. "Daniel was vulnerable and he took full advantage on every level imaginable."

More silence while we wait, I break it after a long while. "So is Mike going to kneel for you?"

"We've discussed it but after recent events between us there is a possibility that it might go the other way around." He answers. "I don't want to label anything. Mike and I will figure out what works, if anything."

"Fuck Clayton you are in a tangled mess." I bitch.

"Tell me about it." Clayton agrees. "Mind if we watch this while we wait for the pizza? I am curious as to what my ma'ma had to say."

I put the DVD in the player and pick Clayton up out of his chair, resting him in my lap. My eyes question his but he just smiles and puts a blanket over himself. The DVD was incredible. Daniel went all out with special effects and stylized it with a hip documentary that it would move almost anyone. Clayton had to take several breaks and went through a box of tissues by the time it was over. I released Bobby from the corner but kept him kneeling next to me, gag firmly in place. When it actually ended all three of us were slightly disappointed that it was finished. We all wanted more. But there could never be more, there is never a sequel on someone's life.

I hold Clayton for a while longer, letting him gain his composure. When he is ready he lifts up and looks at me. "That was beautiful." I whisper, touching his wet cheek.

"Yeah and as always ma'ma gave me a lot of thinking to do." Clayton smiles. He rubs his face and tugs his hair. "Don't hate me for what I am about to say." I lift my eyebrow in concern. "I need a break."

"May I ask why?" I respond cautiously. The last time Clayton and I took a break it was my doing and the man about fell to pieces.

"I'm in a hot mess and approaching one of the most important crossroads of my life. I need to take this solo. This choice has to be mine and mine alone." He answers honestly, making me proud that he isn't asking us to help him with this. And pissed at Bobby for speaking his uncensored mind.

"Break denied." I tell him. "You may be making a tough decision Clayton and if you want Bobby and I to butt out of it, we will. But you are going to need the stability of friendship through your physical therapy and the rest of your emotional fall out of your mother. We are standing beside you. And I do mean that literally. We've been here this far and I will be damned if we miss out on your first steps that free you from that damn chair."

He smiles. "Thanks, but I am feeling more and more like a burden, than a friend lately."

I take a deep breath, "I won't deny a long weekend would be beneficial for Bobby and I." I respond carefully, "but we are not every going to abandon you. And since Bobby had his say let me have mine. I agree with him on some level. The world is bigger than Daniel and Mike. Maybe someone with no history would give you more perspective. You opened your relationship to determine your happiness Clayton, don't limit yourself, at least not in the beginning. And don't forget to take time for you. You need a distraction from all of this shit."

"Speaking of, I'm starving?" Clayton bitches. "Tell me it's been an hour."

"I'll call and check on them." I offer. The delivery people are not happy to hear that we are impatiently waiting. They promise to give their driver a call and get back to me.

Annoyed I hang up. "They are calling me back." I look at Bobby and then to Clayton. "Would you like to watch us play?"

Clayton looks at me for a moment. "Yeah, if that is alright. I really would."

I smile at him then turn my attention to Bobby. "Come love, let me tie you up."

Bobby crawls to our playroom and Clayton follows us. I offer Bobby a variety of binds. He chooses the twine rope. I order him to the horse and start to bind his hands to it.

"So I am on the hunt for a new assistant." Clayton tells me watching me work.

"Seriously, what happened to Zach, I like him." I frown, securing the Bobby's first wrist and moving to the second.

"You never like any of them." Clayton laughs.

"I like him and Mike." I counter, concentrating on my task of making Bobby helpless. Fuck this feels amazing.

"I'm pretty sure he can sing. If his random little song break outs are of any indication."

I finish my task and smack Bobby on the ass. "You're going to make him a star aren't you?"

"I won't a waste of talent by keeping him as my assistant." Clayton shrugs. "You wouldn't happen to know a great kid that is preferably tone deaf looking for employment would you?"

"I might." I ponder, placing wool cuffs around Bobby's ankles so I can connect a spreader bar. "I can ask around, maybe one of their parents or older siblings need something."

"All the help I can get. I am fed up with all of Mike's resources. Something new is in order."

The moment I finish setting Bobby up the doorbell final rings. "Fucking finally." I bitch walking out of the playroom with Clayton and closing the door. We make our way to the front door and when I swing it open I glare complaining, "You better not be expecting a tip." but before I can pay the guy the pizza box drops to the ground and my entire world goes black.

I wake in excruciating pain. I try to move but I am bound tight. My back is on fire! I can feel blood dripping down my sides. I try to struggle but a gloved hand covers my face and everything blacks out again. I wake feeling dizzy, I can feel a blade dragging deep into my skin. I see a pool of blood and can hear someone trying to take wet breaths. _Clayton! Bobby!_ I try to struggle but it's fruitless, the black glove comes over my face again and the world goes black.

"Sir, sir are you alright?" A female voice asks me. I open my eyes feeling groggy and my focus goes straight to a gun. I sit up with a start, trying to understand my surroundings and realize she is a police officer. "I need a medic!" she hollers over her shoulder. "Sir, is anyone in the house with you?"

"What?" I ask, feeling confused, registering a sharp pain on my back and the fact I am covered in blood.

"The house, is anyone one else here with you?"

"Yeah." I answer feeling woozy. "Clayton. Bobby."

"Sir, do you know who did this to you?"

"No." I answer feeling dizzy. I turn my head and see the blood stained floor, trying not to get sick. "Clayton? Where's Clayton? Where is Bobby!"

"I'm here." Bobby tells me, taking my cold hand. "I'm here. Clayton is in an ambulance, he appears stable."

"What happened?" I ask, trying to stay conscious.

"I'm not sure, the doorbell rang and there was gun fire. I tried to break free from our restraints but I was helpless." I can hear the pain and desperation in his voice. "I heard you scream. And then I didn't and then I did. I wasn't sure what the hell was happening. Then they found me. But the sirens scared them off before they could harm me." He squeezes my hand. "Alec I am so sorry. Stay with me baby, don't fall asleep okay."

"We need to move him. He has lost a lot of blood." The paramedic tells Bobby.

"I'm here Alec, just stay with us." Bobby assures me, keeping his hand in mine while I get moved to an ambulance.

"Bobby, call Ethan. His number is in my phone." I lick my lips. "Call Mike tell him about Clayton."

"And Daniel?"

"Yeah, but Mike first." I answer, trying desperately to stay awake.

I find myself in an ambulance not long after that, paying attention to the hallway on my way out on a gurney. _Who the fuck was at the door?_ _The Quattro? Cassandra? An enemy of the Justice of Angels?_ Questions run through my brain as I try to squeeze Bobby's hand back but I feel myself getting weaker.

I vaguely register the night sky and the ambulance comes to me in flashes. There is an oxygen mask, there are sirens, a bump, darkness, light. People are speaking at me but I can't make out what they are saying. I feel queasy. When we reach the hospital I am taken to the emergency room Mike is already there looking rather pale. "What happened?"

"I don't know." I answer honestly. "I don't feel well." I respond right before vomiting blood. I hear Clayton cry out in pain and then I lose consciousness.


	14. Eye for an Eye

**A/N: This is protected by copyright! Try it and I will sue you!**

 **Shattered**

 **Eye for an Eye**

 **Clayton's Point of view**

"AHHH!" I scream in agony.

"Sir, I know it hurts I need you to hold still." A woman doctor tells me. "This bullet is really close to your heart and I need you to stay as calm as you can."

"Bullet?" I hear Mike's voice. "Oh my fuck Clay, you've been shot?" Mike gasps, horror stricken.

I grunt in pain. "Media, quite. I want my doctors."

"Today I am your doctor." The woman chimes in. "You want me to save his life you need to let me work, fast."

"You're spunky. I like spunky." I laugh, with a smile, regretting it immediately. "Mike don't wait alone. Call someone you trust."

"Come back to me!" he cries watching the doctors unlock my bed and call to hold the elevator.

"Any allergies?" she asks.

"No." I grunt. "Alec, is he?"

"The guy you came in with?" she asks as we ride in the elevator. "He's cut up pretty bad but he seems fine."

"And the other one?" I gasp "This fucking hurts."

"It's a gunshot wound, not meant to be pleasant." She replies, steering the gurney to the operating room. "Only one of your friends was admitted." _Thank the heavens for small favors._

"Just don't kill me my spunky doctor, I have too much to live for." I flash my smile again causing her to give a half grin. They finish all the prep work and I smile at her one more time. "I do enjoy keeping my shirt off, can we please forgo a huge scar."

"I will do my best pretty boy." She smiles, putting a mask over my face. I have never been more grateful for anesthesia in my life.

When I wake I find Mike sitting with Bobby, Levi, Kyle and Rachel on my right side and Daniel sitting with Ben and Amber on my left. "Ow." I mutter to the ceiling feeling burning heat throughout my chest.

"Clay!" Mike gasps, grabbing my hand. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Clayton?" Daniel smiles, squeezing my other hand. "Do you know what happened baby?"

"We were set up, they used a ruse as the pizza delivery guy. Knocked Alec out with one blow. Before I could react I had a hole in my chest. Alec? What the fuck happened to Alec? Bobby, are you okay?"

"They tortured Alec but ran out of time to harm me. Cops got there before they could." I grab his arm and see his cast wrist. "I broke it, trying to get free. Fat good it did me. I was fucking terrified."

"How did the cops know?" I ask, hating that it hurt to breathe.

"Neighbor heard the gunshot, called it in." Levi explains, squeezing my leg. "You look like hell but you are going to live. I'm sorry man but we gotta bed hop."

"How bad is he? Why aren't we sharing a room!" I demand.

He frowns. "Alec's in the I.C.U. he's not doing great man."

"He's alone?" I ask, wetting my lips causing Daniel to lift his head a little.

"He's in isolation." Bobby frowns.

"He's what?"

"He's been poisoned." Bobby explains, "they are doing everything they can but they need to rule out airborne pathogens before we can see him. Once he is clear of them, forgive me man but I won't leave his side. But don't worry Ethan hasn't." My eyes flash to Bobby's.

"Yeah what are the odds Alec knows our ex-choreographer?" Ben laughs.

I smile, trying to adjust to this pain and avoid this topic completely. "Well you can expect more company Bobby because the moment he gets out of isolation we are sharing a damn room."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Bobby frowns. "We're going to go check up on the progress we will be back later."

My crowded room empties out with the exception of Mike and Daniel. Not twenty minutes later my spunky doctor walks in. "Hey there doc. Thanks for working your magic on me."

"You're welcome."

"So when can I get out of here and see my friend?"

"You are bed ridden." She scowls.

"I am wheelchair bound, been doing it for months now. You will not have me trapped in a bed. You can try, but I won't listen."

"Oh you are one of those." She says, checking my incision sight.

"It's really complicated but to keep it simple, it is pointless to try to keep us apart." Her unamused eyes study mine as she listens to my heartbeat. "I'll be real good in my chair, I promise."

"Your friend has be poisoned, until I am damn sure it isn't airborne he isn't getting any guests. Though your friends stand at the closes glass and stare at him for hours. You can't get the needed angle in a wheelchair."

"Rule out airborne toxins first and I promise to stay in this bed. The moment you do, I am next to him."

"Which one of us is the doctor?" she questions raising an eyebrow.

"If I say please will it work?"

"Please is good." She smiles. "You need rest. Visiting hours are over."

"These two are family and they are staying." I retort. "I'm serious, Alec and I share a room. Tell your chief, I will make a donation for his cooperation."

"Fine but I am keeping you as long as I deem it necessary." She bargins. "Don't even think about leaving before doctor's orders."

"You play hardball."

"That's the deal."

"Fine." I agree. She smiles, fixes the IV drip and leaves us alone.

I turn to Mike. "How are Monica and Lilly?"

"A mess." He answers. "Lilly refused to come, you weren't looking good there for a while. She didn't want to come here to see you die."

"I'm fine." I assure him.

They both glare at me and then they settle in on the visitors chairs. All of us try to sleep but most the time we are whispering with small talk, waiting out the hours Alec is stuck in isolation. It took thirty six hours for the doctor to release him. When she did she personally took me to the room Alec and I were sharing for the unknown future. I take his hand in concern and she promises they are trying. Ethan and Bobby look just as helpless as I do. Unsure what to do Mike hands us all a list of specialist and coordinates with our doctor to start calling around the world to seek help before Alec runs out of time.

For the next twelve hours when I wasn't talking to someone in the medical world I was answering too many questions for the cops, annoyed because I had the same ones for them. Who the fuck did this? Why? What was taken from the house? Who are our known enemies?

Watching the doctor's guess over and over as to what poison was used only to be proven wrong over and over was driving me mad. More and more guesses came in but he was only getting sicker and sicker. If they don't figure it out soon I am going to be going to another funeral and I know I am not going to survive it. I am helpless. Utterly and completely helpless.

"Clay, you need to eat." Mike worries aloud after we try yet another type of meds in Alec's I.V.

"Not hungry." I respond.

"Clay come on, you can't protect him if you don't take care of yourself. You need your strength you got shot!"

I stare at Alec, ignoring Mike's worrying and then I meet Ethan's eyes. "Fine, but nothing wiggly and no gravy."

"I'll go." He whispers, squeezing my hand. "They will figure this out Clay. You've got the best working on it."

"I'm coming with you." Daniel calls after him. "You're going to need more than two hands Mike, none of us have really eaten."

"Be civil!" I warn the both of them. "I am not in the mood for pissing contest. Be the mature adults you are!"

"Should I go with them?" Bobby asks.

"No." I answer, keeping my eyes on Ethan. "He's dying right before our eyes Ethan."

"I know." He answers with dead eyes.

"They said it was his back, have Bobby help you roll him over."

"What are you thinking?" Bobby asks, moving Alec.

Ethan strips away the bandages and frowns. "I am going to kill whoever dare!" Ethan seethes, marching out of the room in pure white rage.

"Bobby?" I ask, unable to see, but sure my hunch is right.

"It's his brands, they've been carved into him." Bobby whispers. He looks up at me. "How much do you know about these scars?"

"I know it has to do with his past." I answer cautiously.

"Ethan is a part of that past." Bobby replies, putting the bandages back on and rolling Alec back over.

"He's free Bobby. Alec is with Ethan by choice."

Bobby studies me, "If this isn't a challenge to his freedom Clayton, I don't know what is."

"Explains Ethan's reaction." I frown.

"If he survives this. Fuck I hate that they can't do skin grafts because of the poison." Bobby bitches, covering Alec back up with a blanket.

"I'd rather hear him bitch every day of his life than die from this. Bobby, if they can't find a cure . . ."

"Stop, we will. We will save him!" Bobby replies confidently.

"Why now?" I question.

"I don't know." Bobby frowns.

Ethan walks in slightly calmer than he left but not much. "I need to know. Did any of you do anything stupid?" he asks. "Anything with the Angels of Justice?"

"No, why?" I reply unable to follow but annoyed that Ethan was even aware of the Angels of Justice.

"This isn't random. His past just doesn't come back to haunt him without cause. I need the reason Clayton."

"I have no fucking idea! Damnit Ethan if you know someone who can help! We need to know the poison Ethan. Otherwise Alec…"

"That is the plan." He snaps, "but being blindsided when I approach is not a good idea."

"We haven't done anything recent." Bobby tells him. "This attack makes no sense. I did get a random text revealing that you and Alec still play. But other than that I have no idea."

"He's dying Ethan. Get blindsided whatever, it's our last hope to save him." I grab Alec's scarred hand and place my scarred hand into it. "Fight for me Angel, please. Don't let go."

Ethan takes his phone out and walks out of the room. I turn to Bobby. "I feel fine you know." I lie. "You can confront me about Alec and Ethan."

"I shouldn't be surprised that you knew." He frowns.

"I wouldn't approve if it wasn't Alec's choice but it is." I confess, watching Bobby look at me. "I'm not going to apologize for my silence Bobby, you have always known my loyalty is with Alec."

"So you didn't send the picture?"

"No." I answer, confused.

"It was at your house Clayton." Bobby frowns. "Somebody is too close."

"Obviously." I reply looking back to Alec.

"Thanks for keeping his confidence Clayton." Bobby frowns, taking Alec's other hand and going back to calling random doctors.

Mike and Daniel return about ten minutes later with my favorite type of sandwich that makes my stomach turn by just looking at it. I try to swallow a few bites but it might as well be glue. After three bites I wrap it back up and set it on a nearby table. Mike and Daniel frown but they don't push.

Nurses and doctors come in every half hour, reading charts, taking blood, ordering tests. I am so tempted to scream at them for not knowing, tempted to fire there asses and threaten their jobs but I know it wouldn't do any good. I have an expensive team of world experts trying to figure this out and every last one of them is coming up blank. As time goes on Alec's skin becomes a chalky grey. His short consciousness is a jumble of nonsense. But he is always in pain. Seven very long hours go by and they are talking about putting him in a medical coma if his breathing gets any more labored. Am I seriously helpless to sit here and watch my soul mate die right in front of me?

Mike and Daniel are at my side but they are both trying to work from their laptops inbetween sending emails and talking on phones to doctor's they have left messages for or had been asked to call back. The hours tick by excruciating slow while I watch Alec's breathes get shallower and shallower before Ethan finally feels his phone vibrate from a text message.

"I think one of my contacts might have found something." Ethan tells the room. The symptoms match perfectly. I need to see the doctor." He steps out of the room and relief washes over me. I know that it means his family gave him the name of the poison. Now I can only hope there is a cure. Ten very long minutes later we are told there is a cure but it isn't easy to make. However they are starting on it. All we can do now is wait. Praying to the heavens that we are not too late.

Ethan's break through happened thirteen hours ago. Thirteen very long hours. Our friends come and go but one visit in particular sticks out in my head. Levi walks in nervous but determined.

"My pregnant wife is a ball of nerves in the waiting room." He rubs the back of his neck. "She knows you won't leave his side Clayton but if you could please let her see him? For the baby's sake."

"Look at him Levi." I frown. "Do you want her to see him like this? Would that be good for your unborn child?" Chloe has miscarried in the past from stress, I do not see how watching Alec die slowly could be beneficial for this pregnancy.

"You are putting me in a tight spot man." Levi sighs.

"Lie to her, it's kinder. Tell her he is doing okay, that he is going to pull through."

"Is he?"

"If we have found the cure in time."

"They know the poison?" Levi asks.

"Yes."

"Is this from his past?" Levi asks.

"Yeah." I answer, anger boiling back up inside of me.

"You look like shit." Levi tells me. "Are you at least eating if not sleeping?"

"He's dying right in front of me Levi." I respond. "Chloe can see him but I am not leaving his side." I decide. "But it really would be kinder if you lied to her. One condition."

"What's that?"

"No goodbyes. He needs to fight this, not hear that we are giving up on him."

Levi smiles and leaves the room only to return not only with Chloe but Rachel and Kyle as well. I don't say a word. They are his friends, they have the right to see him if he doesn't pull through. Chloe holds his other hand for a very long time. I can tell she wants to say something to me but thinks better of it. Instead she sits and cries. After a half an hour I finally speak to her. "This isn't good for your child Chloe. You are welcome to stay but I would prefer if you take breaks, get some fresh air."

"He isn't wrong sweetheart." Levi sighs. "He isn't kicking us out, he is just looking after our family."

Reluctantly Chloe agrees to leave but promises to be back. When she does the gang she brought with her go as well. Mike comes in to check on me and gets me to at least eat a few more bites of my sandwich, threating to tell my doctor if I don't cooperate with him. Annoyed I take a few bites just to shut him the fuck up.

Ben, and Amber arrive not long after. Amber falls apart almost immediately with one look at Alec. Annoyed I ask Ben to take her out of the room. Mike offers to help. Leaving Daniel at my bedside. Bobby is asleep, leaning over Alec's bed. Ethan too seems to be resting.

"This isn't how I was hoping to see you again." Daniel frowns after a long silence. I turn to him. "I know you are worried about Alec, but I am worried about you. How are you Clayton? Is the pain getting any better?"

"Alec is dying before my eyes and all I can do is watch. I am really not concerned about my damn fucking pain!"

"Dumb question. Sorry." Daniel sighs.

I reach for his hand and squeeze it. "No, you are worried about me. I appreciate it." I sigh. "It hurts but I am healing." I assure him.

Alec's labored breathing is the only sound that happens for the next few moments. My face is wet with tears. And Daniel is nothing but awkward. At first he sat near the window and slowly rearranged himself until he was next to me. He leaned in to hug me but my body tensed all over. I am still pissed at him for what he did and I refuse to let Alec's death bed bind us.

"Isn't it time you have your foot bandages changed?" he asks. I raise my eyebrow and turn to really look at him for the first time since he arrived. "Yeah I know the nurses are taking care of it, but if you don't mind?" He mutters turning up the blanket so he has access to my feet. I hiss when he starts to unwrap them. "Sorry," he apologizes. I say nothing as he frees them and looks at them. "I am relieved to see the graft is holding." He moves his finger down the length of my foot. "Have you started to do your stretches? By the looks of it, you should be."

"Been a little busy." I mutter, in no mood. I grunt and attempt to kick away when he stretches my foot with his hand.

"Don't fight me!" he demands. "Clayton I get it okay. I am the last man in the world you want telling you to exercise your feet. I have pretty much lost the right. But damn it, I also know you don't want to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life so suck it up and let me help." I glare at him. Annoyed I roll my eyes and he takes that as permission. For the next half hour I am in agony. "You need to do this more Clayton. You have never been in this much pain with these."

"It's my third skin graft. There are consequences." I bitch in no mood. "Besides, having a hole in my chest isn't helping."

His eyes flash to mine. I meet his stare, eventually he drops his eyes. "Promise me you will stretch them like you are supposed to. I am not asking you to walk before you are ready but you need to stretch them or this will fail. And from our understanding, this is your last chance."

I can't decide if he is doing this out of guilt or if he is genuinely concerned. Not wanting to go down that rabbit hole at the moment I decide it is both. "I need to talk to Mike about work."

"I can get him." Daniel offers. "After I finish your bandages. But I am staying."

"Fine but you should check on Amber." I agree, in no mood to argue. "They've been gone a while."

Daniel gingerly places new bandages on my now throbbing feet, places them gently back under my covers before he exits the room. "Angel." I whisper, squeezing Alec's hand and placing my head on the bed. Mike walks in and I just give him this look. He doesn't say a word as he climbs into my bed and just holds me for a moment. He does retreat to a chair when Ben, Amber and Daniel return. Ben and Amber return for a bit but leave after a while. Mike and Daniel stay with me, both refusing to leave my side.

Finally the doctors come in with an antidote. "This will save him?" I ask hopeful.

"If our theory is correct and we got to him in time." The doctor frowns, skeptically. "I make no promises."

"Thank you." I respond, unsure what else there is to say.

Bobby, Ethan, Daniel and Mike wait with me, through some of the darkest hours of my existence. I am distracted only by the times when Daniel insists on doing my stretching exercises. By the look on Mike's face, he is surprised I am tolerating it. I have always been insistent on doing my stretches myself. A day passes and sleep is erratic for all of us. I find I am only passing out for fifteen minutes at a time.

Alec's color is looking better. Not perfect but better. Slowly his breathing becomes less labored. Hope starts to creep in that he is going to pull through this. "Angel?" Alec's voice questions, causing me to smile. It is the first coherent word his has said since he was admitted.

"I'm here." I whisper. Grateful to be lying next to him when he wakes for this ordeal.

"Bobby, love?" Alec asks, reaching out for him. Bobby takes his hand.

"Angel." I respond. "What do you remember?"

"Remember?" he asks, squeezing my hand. "I don't know. Why do I feel like shit?"

"You were poisoned." I answer honestly.

"What?" Alec asks, bolting upright with a start. "Wait, Clayton, why do you have an IV in your arm?" He looks me over more closely and realizes our beds are basically pushed together. "Are you a patient?"

"I'm fine, just a small gunshot wound. Basically healed. More worried about you Angel."

"Gunshot wound!" he asks, loudly.

"Shh, calm down." I frown. "I know this is a lot to take in."

"I'm sorry it took so long to save you." Ethan whispers, sitting on the foot of Alec's bed.

"How long?"

"Close to four days." Bobby frowns.

Alec says nothing and slowly lays back down. "Least that explains why you all look like shit." Mike gives me an 'I told you so' look. I say nothing. Alec winces. "I want to talk to Bobby and Ethan … alone."

"Kind of stuck in bed here Angel." I frown.

"That's fine." He replies looking up at the ceiling.

"We'll will give you five minutes then I am letting the doctors know you are awake." Mike responds, expecting Alec's request. Daniel is silent and slightly more reluctant but Mike refuses to let it slide and grabs Daniel by the forearm and walks out of the hospital room with him.

"Poisoned?"

"Our attacker craved it into your old marks." I explain. "Took a field of experts to figure out what the hell they used. It's been four days, give or take."

"This doesn't make any sense." He mutters, turning to Ethan.

"You need rest." Bobby argues.

"Are you okay love?" Alec worries.

"Yeah, they ran out of time before they could get to me." Bobby assures him.

"Ethan?"

"I don't have answers yet." He tells him. "But I will. If I have to leave town to get it, I will find out what is going on. I promise."

Mike is true to his word. Five minutes goes by and Alec is being taken for test and things to determine what if any damage occurred to his internal organs. While I am waiting I demand that Mike and Daniel go home. Both refuse and it takes me screaming at them that childish games of who cares more pisses me off. Reluctantly they go but both promise to be back in the morning.

When I am alone I chose to do my stretches just to pass the time. Bobby stops me from torturing myself and takes over. I give him a smile before I grunt in pain. Fuck that hurts like a son of a bitch. When Alec returns he demands that I eat something. The doctors put him on a liquid diet and he sucks down some broth while I try to eat a salad.

We watch a few movies together before he passes out. I stare at him for the longest time. Thanking the heavens that he pulled through this. I am only pulled from my thoughts when I hear Ethan clear his throat. I look over and realize Alec and Bobby are both asleep.

Ethan cautiously approaches my bed. I give him a nod of acceptance, expecting him to sit down, I am surprised when he lays down next to me putting his lips to my ear. "Relax Clayton, I would never harm you." He takes my hand. "Tell me you trust I didn't do this."

"Was it Lance?" I whisper back.

"No." he frowns. "When I got the information on the poison they used I was told that Brad is a distant cousin of mine. He contracted pneumonia four days ago, it isn't looking good." I look at him with massive concern. "I didn't know."

"Mike said that Cassandra and Brad were really close. Fuck Ethan is she your family too?" I ask in a whisper, making sure Alec and Bobby are still asleep.

"I don't have proof of that." His eyes harden. "But if she is, she has broken a lot of family codes to pull what she pulled. You and Alec are protected. If this has anything to do with her, she will pay. Mark my words." I don't say anything to that. "There is something else." Ethan whispers. "Did he tell you about Que?"

"No." I frown.

"Que is Lance's brother." Ethan explains. "He has invited you to New York, he won't tell me why."

"What?" I ask astonished. Causing him to lay his fingers gently on my lips.

"He wants you to use a concert as a cover." Ethan continues. "He's requested two V.I.P. passes."

"Why me? Why not Alec."

"I have no idea. But he wants you to feel as safe as possible. He said security of your personal choice."

"Is this a trap or a joke?" I ask lost.

"No, I don't think so." Ethan frowns. "He said it was business and you can make your attendance to the concert as public as you would like, no harm would come to you."

"What the hell does he want?"

"I don't know. Only way to find out is to do it."

"I'm not exactly up for traveling. I still have a hole in my damn chest." I bitch.

"He knows." Ethan shrugs. "Just make it happen as soon as you can okay. Que isn't someone you keep waiting."

"Looks like my girls are touring in New York." I frown. "A charity sponsored tour, three random cities. One rigged for New York."

"Sounds like a lot of careful planning needs to be done."

"If this is a trap, Alec will know of your involvement." I warn.

"It isn't," he assures me, "The man I love would never forgive me if I allowed anything to happen to you." I make no arguments. "Clayton, he is conscious, which means you need to take care of yourself." He lectures. "He loves you too damn much. And you have been through the ringer with the loss of your mom and almost losing him. Not to mention new grafts and a hole in your chest. Give yourself rest so you can bounce back from this before you do something simple yet dangerous that has the possibility of getting you killed." I don't say anything. He climbs off my bed and goes back to the chair he was sitting in. I close my eyes, curious as hell as to why the brother of Lance wants to meet with me. I don't ponder long before sleep overtakes me.


	15. The Why

**A/N: Once again, this story is protected by copyright! I will sue if you take it!**

 **Shattered**

 **The Why**

 **Alec's Point of View**

I can't figure out if I would rather be awake or asleep. Nightmares greet me when I close my eyes, migraines when they are open. Clayton asked me what I remembered. I've been trying to figure that out ever since. I remember my session being interrupted. I remember pain. I remember a lot of blood. I remember screaming. And then Clayton tells me I was poisoned and my marks were carved into. This was The Quattro. But why? I want to ask Ethan but there are too many ears around. Which is forcing me to wait, hoping eventually I can get Ethan alone.

Time is passing in waves. I sleep a lot and never really knowing what time it is. The dreams that occur are so violent and terrifying, I am feeling more exhausted than rested. I am having one such nightmare now but I am shaken awake. I turn to see Clayton passed out next to me and someone standing above my bed.

"I would apologize for waking you but it looks like you needed it." Ethan frowns.

"Ethan?" I whisper, trying to get my bearings.

"Shh, Pet we don't want to wake your friend." He whispers, sitting down on the bed and leaning to my ear. "Bobby is still at the center, we have a few minutes."

"Good." I smile. I close my eyes, enjoying his scent. "Why is this happening?"

"Brad is on his death bed." Ethan frowns. "Apparently he's family."

"Of course he is." I bitch in a harsh whisper. "Internal bleeding? Complications?"

"Pneumonia."

"So not me directly." I respond. "I just compromised his immune system."

"Was this Sebastien?" I ask. "Feels like something he would do."

"No, but it was one of the four." Ethan informs me, "According to Que, Pricilla did this." I bring my eyebrows together. "Brad was her cousin, they damn near grew up together." He explains. "Que is pissed. You and Clayton are protected."

"So was Brad apparently." I mutter.

"True but she attacked you _and_ Clayton. And no one is dead. She had no right to try to kill either of you." Ethan reminds me. He puts his hand in his. "How are you feeling Pet?"

"It hurts Ethan." I cry. "Everything hurts."

"I know. I am sorry." He whispers. "Have the doctors figured out the extent of the damage?"

"No organ failure." I smile, "I seem to be doing alright. My muscles are going to weak for a while. I get to look forward to a lifetime of migraines. Whoever knocked me out, really fucked me up. I got an infection from the knife that poisoned me. Oh and a non-tattooable scar which I am tempted to just fill in by carving more skin."

"You know better," he warns harshly via a whisper in my ear. "Besides I own you with or without marks, you will never be free of me." I sigh, fighting the sudden urge to vomit.

Realizing I am still fighting off illness from the poison, his face softens. "I mean it Pet. Pricilla will pay dearly for these sins." He promises coldly, "You have mine and Que's word on that."

He leans down to kiss me and sneeks a phone under my pillow. He then drops his lips back to my ear. "You will text with this once a day even if I do not text you. You will respond to every text you receive with full honest answers." I nod and he lifts up, "Get better Alec."

"You're leaving?"

"I have to work." He gives me a smile. "I am just a text away."

Feeling even more uneasy than I did when I woke from my nightmare, I wait for him to leave. Fear grips me and I turn in my bed. "Clayton." I speak in a hollered whisper. "Clayton."

"Hmm?" he asks, waking with a start.

"Hold me Angel?"

His face relaxes from being startled to one of concern. He doesn't argue with me though and lifts himself up on the bed. He pulls me close to him and wraps his arms around me. I smile at the comfort I find there. And for a little while I allow myself just to drift in the bubble. Tonight in the security of Clayton's arms, nothing is wrong. Because for just a little while I am with my soul mate.


	16. Charity Tour

**A/N: This IS PROTECTED by COPYRIGHT! Steal it and I will sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Charity Tour**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

I made Alec stay in the hospital for another three weeks. In my eyes he is safer there. But he only agreed to my overprotectiveness if I actually went to work, at minimum since I was released after another week of unwanted R&R. I wanted to argue with him but I had just re-established my presence, the last thing I needed was for moral to slip again. I promised I would come back daily and he seemed annoyed but accepting.

Trying desperately for good news, I decided to go straight ahead with this tour idea. I am not sure what Que wants exactly but I am not wasting anytime to find out. Not wanting Mike to get involved I fill my schedule with things that appear to be important. I ask Mike for all sorts of random data and keep him on his toes for most the day, pulling up things that glares with important and confidential. After most the day is over I finally call him in for a meeting.

"I want the girls to go on a benefit tour for _Eyes of Seduction_." I announce causing him to raise and eyebrow as he sits down, tablet at the ready. "I want a coast to coast event. East coast, a stop in the Mid-West and West Coast." I raddle off. "Let's do New York City, Kansas City, and Portland; in that order. No later than six weeks out, preferably sooner."

"That's an unusual request." Mike frowns, "You have personally banned New York City as a touring destination for all your contracts for years."

"It's an unusual situation." I deflect.

"I see." Mike answers, staring at me instead of taking notes. "May I ask the circumstance that is dragging the girls across the country?"

"No." I answer firmly.

"Everything alright Clay? It is rare you shut me out."

"I will know more after the trip. For now, no one needs to know." I answer, in my most authoritative tone.

"Can you at least tell me if this is a business endeavor that you are hiding or a personal one?" he presses.

"Business." I lie. "I don't want to jinx it."

"Of course." He smiles, making notes on his tablet. "I will get something set up and clear all our schedules."

"Not yours. I need you to run the office from here. Too many things have slipped and I just got it right again. The last thing I need is for both of us not keeping an eye on the place." He glares. Needing a subject change I switch to our personal lives. "I'm sorry we haven't had a real date. Can I make it up to you?"

"You had good reason. A metal bullet traveled through your chest. I am not mad. Scared, but not mad."

"I'm fine."

"Do you know who did this?" he asks me point blank.

"Yes and it has been taken care of."

"By the cops?"

"By the guilty parties bosses." I dance.

He rubs his face. "You want this to work, you need to learn to trust me. Which means Alec needs to learn to trust me." Mike bitches. "I'll let it go for now, you are being honest as you can without breaking his trust. But promise me this is done."

"I promise I believe it is." I compromise.

"I'm talking to Alec. I don't like this cryptic shit." He warns. "Speaking of dilemma's human resources presented me with one today."

"Oh?" I frown.

"Ryan Scemo came to my office and dropped a packet full of bills on my desk, expecting me to pay them with an advance?" His voice sounded annoyed, "I told him I would look into it."

"Fuck, I forgot to tell you about Ryan." I bitch. "He actually decided on my offer. Where is he now?"

"Home. Human resources had him fill out general paperwork but they were unsure what to do with him. Considering the reports you had me pulling I figured I would ask you when you were available."

"He's a demo scanner." I explain. "Sixty thousand, one week vacation. Small studio only access to me when he clears it with you by appointment."

"So he is back in your life?" he asks, making no effort to hide his jealousy.

"Professional, yes." I answer. "And as my personal assistant he is your responsibility." Mike raises and eyebrow. "Hey you wanted the damn job, you get the dirty work with it." I remind him. "Feel free to give him a shit parking space and a semi uncomfortable working environment. Make a set schedule with no flex for all I give a fuck. But make sure his equipment works. He does have a good ear, might as well save me some time. I still want to hear everything like I always do but at least this way it is categorized. He needs an iron contract. I own his ass until that advance is paid for. Do the math, take it from my personal checking account. Pay everything except house, car and insurance. Also check to make sure his bills are valid before you make it apart of his advance. If it is a shared debt, exclude it. Deduct thirty percent of each paycheck until he is paid in full."

"Wait. Who exactly does he report to?" he asks half confused. I have never hired a demo scanner before, I have taken all my music very personally.

"Like I said, your responsibility." I glare. "Be an ass for all I give a fuck just don't do anything that can get you reported to human resources."

"You want me to be the direct boss to your ex-boyfriend?" Mike asks in annoyance.

"Ex-fiancé." I clarify. "Is this going to be a problem?"

"I want to be your boyfriend, hell I want to be your husband." He bitches.

"And Ryan's employment changes this how?" I ask, studying him. "Besides, you are my boyfriend. Did you miss that memo?"

He gives a small smile. "It's weird Clay."

"Yes." I agree. "But I don't trust him, I trust you."

"So not a threat to my personal life? Just an annoyance because you couldn't say no?"

"Sums it up."

"I guess I can handle that." Mike mutters.

"I know you can, so don't come bitching to me about him. The less I hear or see of him the better. So if he wants an appointment there better be a clear damn agenda and very short time allotments. I study him for a moment and add, "You know your jealousy is a little sexy." I smile through the pounding pain in my head.

"Oh?"

"Normally it would make my dick hard."

"I understand your frustration Clay believe me. But we had our fun. And your meds help you heal." I can't argue with him. "Besides your right, I would like to date you. I am proposing that you set up a schedule to give Daniel equal time." It is obvious this bothers him but he is man enough to offer instead of me telling him. "However, I did score impossible box seats to this fantastic play tomorrow night. I know it is last minute and there is Alec to consider. I can invite Sean but I wanted to at least offer."

"Let me check with Daniel, see how he wants to set this up. Depending on him and how Alec is doing, I might say no."

"No problem." He stands up. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to make some arrangements to ensure Ryan has the smallest, yet completely functioning studio available to him. And then deal with the girls bitching about this last minute tour."

"Pay them double for it." I shrug. "Money usually keeps them happy. And let them do as many costume changes as they would like. That always boosts their spirits."

"Every little bit is going to help." He mutters leaving me alone with a stack full of paperwork I don't need.

For the next two hours I stage my desk and I make phone calls to see if going to that play would be much of a hassle. Truth was, it sounded nice. I am in so much need of a distraction from feeling helpless. Daniel is working and Alec promised that he would not be alone. When I asked he told me that Chloe is being needy. I don't like the idea of that friendship and I don't trust her like I used to but Alec has never stood for my distaste in his trust for her. Reluctantly I went along with being okay with her presence instead of mine. But it still makes me uneasy. My private security is being respectful but they are not leaving his side. I don't care how much he bitches.

I also take the time to do my stretches and take my medicine. Both annoy me. The stretches hurt and the meds leave me with a massive headache. But the stretching is helping and I am confident in a few days I can start to put weight on my feet. I moan when my office door is knocked on. "Enter." I call looking in my drawers for some over the counter fix and hissing when the light is turned on.

"Sorry boss," Mike whispers, understanding the problem and shutting the light off. He keeps his voice soft as he sits down next to me. "You okay?" I glare at him, after all he made me take the damn things. He ignores me and goes straight to business, "I am working on _Eyes of Seduction's_ charity tour. The girls chose cancer, for your Mom."

I smile, despite my headache. "That is very kind, send them beautiful wildflowers with my thanks."

"Already done." He smiles, "I am working on travel arrangements for you. Are you still firm on arranging a business meeting in New York?"

"Yes. When does the tour start?"

"I booked the dates close together, I hope that isn't a problem. They start in New York, move to Portland and then end in Kansas. I couldn't put Kansas in the middle due to lack of venues on such short notice. The best I could do with the marketing department and decent ticket sales is eight weeks out. I know you wanted sooner but the marketing manager is simply refusing. I have rearranged the girls and your schedule for the tour. I just need you to sign off."

"Sign off on eight weeks? I don't think so. I said six, I meant six. Make it happen."

"Boss?" I give him a stern look, he knows better than to let the marketing department walk on him and since they tried, they will be paying the price in stress and overtime. "Okay six it is."

"Is there anything else?" I ask, rubbing my forehead.

"Nothing business related." He shrugs.

"Daniel didn't answer his phone so I texted him. He is out on a shoot. I also spoke with Alec and he is elated that I have something better to do with my time then fret over him. So if you still want to I will be happy to go with you tomorrow."

"I would enjoy that very much." He smiles. "Very much indeed."


	17. Developing Friendship

**A/N: Shattered is protected by Copyright! Try it and I will sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Developing Friendship**

 **Alec's Point of view**

It is not every day that I find Mike Walker coming to see me without Clayton in tow. Not that he isn't welcome, it's simply unusual. So when he entered my hospital room and closed the door he set off many red flags. The look on his face is unreadable. Concerned, I turn off the television I wasn't really watching and wait to see what is on his mind.

"You are looking much better." Mike smiles. "Like you came back from the grave."

"I did." I respond. "Feel better too. Even on a solid food diet."

"That is good." He smiles, sitting down next to me.

"What is it Mike?"

"Something gotta be wrong?" he asks.

"No, but Clayton isn't with you so I am assuming there is."

"Some things are on my mind. Some easier to talk about that others."

"I'm listening." I encourage watching him sit next to me.

"I am not leaving here until you come to the understanding that you are going to start trusting me. I want a deeper relationship than I have with Clayton and him protecting you means he isn't being truthful to me. Now, forgive me for assumptions here but Daniel is a selfish prick and I know he wouldn't stand for it long." I say nothing. "As for me, I have respected the arm's length treatment from you for years but my relation with Clayton is evolving which means yours and mine relation needs to as well."

"What do you want to know?" I ask, liking his little speech. He is actually asking for my trust not just assuming I will give it to it. Okay, more demanding it but that means he is serious about fighting for Clayton. Which makes me a little more willing.

"Do you know who did this?"

"Yes."

"Do you know why?"

"Yes." He looks at me waiting patiently for me to elaborate. I study him for a while before I give him the information he wants. "You have to understand something first."

"I'm listening."

"Clayton knows about my Sirs, I just never really went into depth about The Quattro. I didn't see the point of putting him in danger. I trust him a lot with the knowledge of my Sir's names. He doesn't need to know the family is organized." I glare at him. "The only reason you do is because you confronted me."

"My lips are sealed." Mike promises. "But what does this have to do with The Quattro?"

"Apparently Brad is a part of it. His cousin, Pricilla, put the hit out after Brad contracted pneumonia and was informed he might not make it."

"Is he dead?"

"Ethan has made sure he is getting the best care possible." I frown.

"Ethan." Mike responds. "And how do you know Daniel's ex-choreographer?"

"That is a very trusted secret Mike." I warn. He says nothing. "Ethan has saved mine, Clayton's and even Levi's life. Chloe trusts him."

Understanding filters through his eyes when he deciphers my cryptic sentence. Ethan is one of my Sirs, and thus part of The Quattro. "So the danger isn't over?"

"That's complicated." I admit. "For me, maybe not. For Clayton, he should have never been a target to start with. Pricilla went overboard. Her brother, the leader, has added a family layer of protection on both of us for it."

"You realize Clayton's barely noticed he was even shot. He's been so concerned about you. It tore Clayton apart Alec. Sitting here, watching you slowly die. I was helpless to help either of you." He takes a long silence. "You got to do me a favor Alec."

"I do?"

"Stop getting on his ass about his security. He apparently has the right to be concerned." I don't say anything to him, instead I lean back into the pillows. "Thank you for trusting me with this. I won't tell a soul."

"I am telling you because dating Clayton has put you in danger." I answer not looking at him. "If you want out, now is the time Mike. Take Sean and run far away from here."

"I'm not leaving Clayton!" Mike snaps. "Especially now."

"Then get security on Sean if Clayton hasn't. You don't need more pain. And I know he added security to you and you are not all that happy about it. Deal."

His face turns stubborn for a moment and then he looks at me. "Alec, am I doing the right thing? Fighting for Clay I mean?" he shakes his head. "I'm not asking because of all this drama. I am asking because Daniel isn't a bad guy. I mean ok he reacts poorly to over the top situations but him and Clay, they have something. Deep down there is something there."

"You two have something." I add. "Besides your desire to become vampires."

He gives a small laugh. "I can't help but get carried away. When we are like that, the world doesn't exist." I close my eyes, getting hit with a flashback of such wonderful memories Clayton and I shared once upon a time. "But we have dated so little. I am taking him out tonight."

"I heard." I smile.

"I'm nervous Alec." He responds honestly.

"It's just Clayton."

"Yeah I know. He has always been my boss or my lover but we have never really ventured into the dating world before. What if I fuck this up? What if he chooses Daniel?"

"What if he chooses you?"

"Do you support us Alec?" he asks point blank.

"I am staying out of it." I reply dryly. Though it isn't true. I support Mike way more than I do Daniel.

"Okay let me rephrase, what rubs you wrong about me?"

See selfless, Daniel would have asked me what rubs me wrong about Mike. I hold back a smile. "You keep secrets." I answer. "You know a hell of a lot about things and you don't ever tell me your damn source.

"And if I were to be honest with you?"

"With me or with Clayton? Who do you want to be in a relationship with?"

"I want Clayton to be my husband." That statement takes me a little by surprise, "But that will only happen if I get your approval. And him dancing with cryptic reassurances that this shit is taken care of and he is not in mortal danger is driving me mad."

"Then I suggest you stop hiding things."

"If Brad has family roots. Do you think Cassandra does to? I mean they both kidnapped me."

"I wouldn't go that far. Ethan would have known by now."

"What is in New York City? Or should I ask who?"

"Why the fuck would you ask me that?" I ask immediately defensive.

"Because Clayton is planning an _Eyes of Seduction's_ tour there. It wouldn't be odd, had not blacked out New York City as a touring destination for any band, not long after meeting you. Something is up."

"You have to stop him! He is going to get himself fucking killed." I bitch.

"Fucking hell I am so fucking done with you two!" Mike bitches standing so abruptly the chair he was in falls over. "The lies stop now! You are confirming Clayton is putting himself in danger, after being shot! What or who is in New York City?"

"Who do you kneel for?" I press, just as angry.

"Not relevant."

"I disagree. You want my approval you better start talking."

"You won't believe me." Mike sighs, picking up the chair.

"Try me."

"Levi Knight." he answers, "thus the reason Chloe trusts me so much." I stare at him in disbelief. "You can call him if you like."

"Why the fuck keep it a secret?"

"Well let me see. Him and I both have a professional reputations to maintain so there is that. Plus, I do believe you had an interest in him at one time, which made things more than awkward but I got over it." He sits back down in his chair, studying my disbelieving expression.

"Levi only plays with woman, except with me." I argue.

"Levi only kneeled for woman, except for you." Mike corrects. He decides to add to it when my skepticism does not clear from my face. "Okay I was an exception for his Dominate side, sue me. I go to Levi purely for Domination and kinship, it isn't sexual. Thus the awkwardness when he got curious. I was very intolerable he was willing to try with you and not me. It took a lot for us to get past that. Which is the main reason I don't want him to know what you did for me when Clayton was getting brain surgery." He shook his head, "I won't deny it helped that he chose Chloe."

"You and Levi." I mutter. "Okay so I get why you don't tell me, why keep it from Clayton?"

He lets out a small laugh. "Besides the fact he tells you everything? Don't forget my boss has pretty much chalked Levi's wife up to pure evil and cut out all associations of her, except for you." He rubs his face with his hands, "I obviously didn't want to be caught up in that so keeping it a secret has always proven … beneficial."

"Drama free." I smile, understanding.

"The way it should be." He nods. "You're turn, what the hell is in New York that can get Clayton killed?"

"The Quattro." I respond, getting his full attention.

"Okay, this is worse than I thought." Mike frowns. "What do we do?"

"I don't know." I mutter impatient and furious.

"But you can help. You wear the marks of an owned slave." Mike tells me. "Levi is terrified of these people Alec. He got his covered up and has never been in contact with them since, but you . . . you not only carry them, they were carved into your skin with a poisonous knife."

"I wear the marks of a free slave." I correct him.

"I don't believe you." He challenges. "You ask me, you belong to Ethan."

My eyes flash. "You want my trust Mike. Fine you have it. You're right, Ethan does own me. It was how I got justice for Levi." His eyes bore into mine. "Clayton doesn't know and you will not tell him. All he knows is Chloe put me in danger to save Levi. Which is why he hates her."

"Does Bobby?"

"They both know some things, neither know everything."

He is quite for a moment. "Thank you, for trusting me."

"Don't make me regret it Mike." I warn.

"You won't." he assures me. He drops his head on his lap thinking aloud, "So why is Clayton going to New York City? Do you think he is trying to get vengeance for this ruthless attack?"

"I don't know."

"Do we let him go?"

"I don't have enough information to answer that." I admit.

He checks his phone and then looks back on me with a topic change. "I haven't found any proof a ruse thus far. It does appear Daniel really was cheating."

"That may be but there has to be something. But even if there isn't I don't give a shit anymore. He lost my sympathy, victim or no, the moment he cheated." I dismiss. "He could have come to me Mike. The fact he didn't is insulting. I am damn good at my job. I would have helped him. He didn't need to resort to this."

"You thought this through." Mike notes.

"Stuck in a hospital bed. Your mind wanders." I shrug. "I am staying out of this triangle war. But I will admit to you that I don't like Daniel. He is a selfish prick who almost made my best friend paralyzed. He chose to cheat, and he can play victim all he wants, it's bullshit. You don't feel guilty and avoid eye contact if you are too traumatized to make appropriate decisions. If Clayton chooses to forgive him, it will take years for me to do the same, but I will never trust him."

"So why are you still playing nice with Daniel so Clayton will make his own choice?"

"Yes."

"But you are secretly rooting for me?"

"You or someone like you." I reply honestly.

"I love him Alec."

"So do I."

"One question."

"Just one?" I laugh, feeling exhausted.

"You said the family took care of Pricilla. Why not go to the authorities?"

"You think they can help? I tried that once, what good it did me. The one I accused went to prison but the cops overlooked the organization. No, the cops will simply get everyone killed." I growl. "Now don't fuck this dating thing up by being late. Go, enjoy yourself."

Mike leaves and I frown, unsure if I told him too much or too little. All I know really is that my head hurts. My nurse comes in to check on me and I complain about my headache. She frowns and promises to tell the doctor. When she leaves Chloe and Levi walk in.

"Oh Alec." She whispers crawling in bed with me.

"That isn't good for the baby."

"It isn't good for me!" she bitches, slapping my chest. "Don't ever do that again!"

"I promise to try to never do this again." I smile at her and kiss her forehead.

"Do you know yet why they did this?" Chloe asks.

"Brad's health is fading."

She doesn't say anything. I let her lay with me for a while before I give her a gentle shake. "Mike Walker finally told me who he kneels for." Levi's eyes widen in shock. "So it's true?" Levi rubs the back of his neck. "Don't be pissed at Mike, I didn't give him much of a choice but to tell me."

"Well now you know." Chloe smiles. "One less thing to worry about."

"One less." I agree rubbing her back. We hold each other for a long while before I find she has fallen asleep. I shake her a little but she is out cold.

"Levi." I whisper.

"Yeah man, I'm here."

"I told Mike something that you need to know." He raises an eyebrow. "He knows the cost of your freedom and justice from the Quattro."

"Why the fuck would you tell him that?" Levi asks, angrily.

"Because it isn't safe." I snap. "Levi you are safe as long as I am safe. This attack showed Ethan's weakness. Get your family and run." He gives me a look of concern. "Levi, trust me. You are in danger. Which means your family is in danger. Get gone, disappear. If you ever trusted me, vanish."

I can see the conflict in his eyes. "I will try man, honestly I will. But no promises, you know how stubborn my wife can be."

"Pricilla damn near killed me! Do you honestly believe Sebastien won't try? This isn't fear talking," I grunt then cough. "This is survival."

He gives a strong nod, squeezes my hand really tight. "I promise to try." I glare at him but it's the best I am going to get and I know it. I wince. "You need to sleep man. I will keep watch while you two rest."

"Thanks." I mutter and let the meds the nurse had given me take me back into my world of nightmares.

When I wake, Bobby is there to greet me. "Hey love." I smile, tired but happy to see him.

"Clayton thinks you are free." He states, his eyes hard. "How long are you going to keep him in the dark?"

"Forever if possible."

"I think you haven't told me everything." He accuses. "Because there is no fucking way you would have Ethan sit next to your death bed if you believed he was a part of it!"

"He's not." I defend, fighting off an instant migraine. "Bobby I haven't told you everything."

"The lies stop Alec. If you want us to work, I am done with the half truths."

"You're right. I am sorry love." I frown, taking his hand. He softens a little. "Come, lay with me. This is going to be a very long night."

I could have just filled in the blanks but Bobby deserved more than that. He deserved the full story from the very beginning. It was not easy to relive more or less talk about. But he earned my trust a very long time ago. When I finish it is near dawn. We fall silent for the longest time before he sits up.

"I'm going to be late tonight."

"What? Why?"

"There is something I have to do." He frowns. "I haven't been completely honest with you either. But I will be. I trust you Alec. But there isn't time right now to tell you everything and you deserve to know everything."

"Bobby are you in trouble?"

"Me? No, love. But someone I care for is." He responds with sadness in his eyes. "I promise when I come tonight, you will know everything." He kisses me softly on my lips. "I love you, never doubt."

"I love you." I reply confused as I watch him go.


	18. Surprises

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Surprises**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

I have to admit I never pictured myself sitting down and watching a play more or less enjoying it. Mike had scored some really good seats and we find ourselves completely entertained the entire performance. We had gone straight from work so by the time it was over, we were starving. Mike insists on us walking in the streets where we were and we come across a taco truck. It took him some effort to convince me but I did decide to order something.

"Fucking hell this is amazing." I reply, chewing my food in surprise after I find a place to park my wheelchair so he can sit next to me.

"Yes you are." He replies, eating his own food. I roll my eyes at him. "So tell me something about yourself."

I take a drink of my soda, thinking. "Hmm. That isn't easy. You have known me forever."

"From the sidelines." He reminds me.

"I hate talking about myself." I admit but he isn't letting me off the hook. "Ok, ok. When I was nine, I broke my arm."

"How?"

"Fell out of a tree." I shrug.

"What about you?"

"Never had a broken bone." He laughs. "Tell me more."

My eyes widen and I finally think of things to share. Mostly my childhood but I do omit the fact most of my adventures were with Ryan back then but I think he knows. He shares his childhood as well, admitting he has siblings. When I ask about them he shakes it off and tells me it is another story for another time. It saddens me, knowing he appears to be estranged. But I don't push, he will share when he is ready.

We finish the night with a make out session but we refuse to take it any further. I do invite him in but he declines, telling me that it completely destroys the concept of dating. Reluctantly I agree with him.

The next day I am surprised to see Daniel enter my office near quitting time. "I thought you were at a shoot."

"I am." He admits. "But I wanted to see you. I only have a few hours, can we eat?"

"Yeah." I agree. Checking my phone. There is a text from Alec asking if I had seen or spoken to Bobby today. I send a quick reply that I haven't before I turn my attention back to Daniel.

"Good." He smiles.

He takes me to a Chinese restaurant that is near the airport. The place is half empty so we find a corner out of the way. We make our orders quickly and then sit quietly for a long while before I can't take it anymore.

"Is the shoot going well?"

"Yeah. Should be home for good in a day or two" He shrugs, taking his straw out of the wrapper. He puts it in his tea and starts to spin the ice. "How are you feeling? Your feet? Your chest?"

"Both hurt but I'm healing."

"Good." He smiles. Silence falls between us again and thankfully our food comes. I open my chopsticks and dig in, unsure what to say to him. "I am close to my thirty day chip." He tells me.

I smile. "Good."

"I don't know about that. I really wish this was whiskey right now." He admits. "Fuck Clayton why am I so nervous?"

I chew on my food some more before I wash it down to answer him. "Because it isn't just us anymore. You are jealous of Mike and you feel guilty with Isaac or about Isaac, whichever way you want to look at it."

"Yeah I guess." He frowns. "I'm sorry it is taking so long for Isaac to come around. I appreciate you understanding his hesitation." He stabs his food. "We are still on for our meeting with Rachel?"

"Yes." I set my chopsticks on my plate. "Is this too soon Daniel? I don't want to mess with your sobriety."

"You are not the reason I drink." He replies firmly.

"Then what is?"

"Flashbacks mostly." He shrugs. "And the idea of never being completely yours again."

"I can't make promises Daniel." I frown.

"I know." He whispers.

"Promise you will go to a meeting when you land."

"Promise." He agrees.

We finish our meal in silence. Being with him seems to magnify the hurt of everything that has happened. I try not to let it show. I am willing to give this a chance. But getting past this awkwardness is not going to be easy. He takes me to my car before he turns to me. "Can I please kiss you?"

I hesitate but his eyes are so sad. I shake my head in agreement and the moment our lips meet he manages to take my breath away. He breaks the passion after a long moment, hesitates and then walks away to hail a cab. I sit in my car confused as all hell. Before I turn my attention to my driver. "Home."

When I get there I call Alec just to check on him. That is when I find out that Bobby stood him up. He tells me that him and Bobby had a heart to heart and he was expecting him to show up but he never came. I tell him not to worry about it and that I would look into it. I assure him I would get Bobby to contact him as soon as possible.

I call my private service but they didn't have any information to give. I am annoyed at that, they were supposed to be watching him. That is when they admit they lost him after he left work and have been looking for him ever since. I fire three people in one phone conversation for not keeping me informed.

Of the remaining team I send one of my best to look for him. Unfortunately he can't find anything. Bobby seems to have vanished the moment he left that hospital. Very concerned I contact Detective Cole. His hands are tied for a few more hours due to missing person law but he promises to get things going.

The next two days I start a man hunt. He can't just have vanished. His car wasn't in the parking lot so he made it out of there. I go to Ethan personally, despite the fact Alec has already confided in him. Ethan is a dead end but swears his family is looking into it. I go to the youth center but there is nothing there to suggest a struggle. I call all our friends, asking if anyone has heard from him. Everything is fruitless. Bobby Spencer has simply vanished.


	19. War

**A/N: This story is protected by Copyright. Don't try it!**

 **Shattered**

 **War**

 **Alec's Point of View**

It never dawned on me in a million lifetimes that the night I confided everything to Bobby it would be the last time I would ever see him. When he didn't show up after work that night I was forced to lay there trapped in a hospital bed while everyone hunted him. Nothing of his could be found. Not his car, not his phone, nothing. He simply disappeared. I berated myself, believing that I should have never trusted him with everything. He obviously couldn't handle it and left forever. Two days go by before I can file a missing persons. Two more before Clayton realizes I am strong enough to check myself out of this fucking hospital no matter how much he prefers me to stay. And I do just that, heading straight home. Determined to hunt Bobby down and get some fucking answers.

When I get home, I discover my house is cleared from the police and is no longer a crime scene. Having Clayton's bodyguards in tow I clear the yellow tape from my front door and walk inside. The place is a mess. My blood is on the floor, furniture is cut open, things are missing. Annoyed I go to the bedroom and find that all of Bobby's things are exactly where he left them. _Alec, look around._ Glory's voice tells me, _he didn't leave you._ While the thought it comforting it doesn't ease my apprehension. Did these people follow him and kidnap him? Is he hurt? Is he … _Stop! Don't think that!_ Glory scowls before I could finish the thought. I stand there dumbfounded and scared, my mind racing as to what to do next. Then it hits me, his office, Bobby always kept me from there because of Owen. He told me he had a secret, maybe it is hidden in there and it will lead me to him.

With hope in my heart, I run down the stairs and find to my relief the basement is untouched. At least whoever attacked us didn't get into Bobby's office. This left one problem. I didn't have the key to the door. Annoyed I run back upstairs to the spare key drawer, dump it out and take multiple keys that are used for the Youth Center and what not hoping one works. I rush back down the steps to try each and every one of them. When one finally works I am in shock as to what I find.

I can barely register what is before my eyes. The walls of my home are covered in faces, maps, and multicolored strings, all relating to one thing, my past. I'm dumbfounded. I've spent years burying this. All I ever wanted was to be a free man, without letting my past define me. Yet the one man I've trusted the most, I've loved, whom I thought until this moment loved me, has been hiding in an office in my home, digging it all up. I can't breathe. I can't think. I can only stare at faces I've tried so hard to forget, faces that star in my darkest nightmares. Panic starts to overcome me; I collapse to my knees and realize I'm crying. If he's in this deep, he's in real trouble. I swallow hard, unsure if he's missing because he's gone to them or if he's been taken.

"Bobby, my love, what have you done?" I whisper in the stillness. "Why?" I ask, just as confused.

I stare at the walls, trying to figure out what has gotten him so entranced with the Quattro _._ I told him about my past, and his reaction to it wasn't unexpected; but I never mentioned the Quattro specifically. I frown when my eyes fall to the Sirs' different marks. Instinctively I grab my right shoulder—he recognized it? He never once mentioned it. I study the wall longer, trying to understand. But it doesn't give me the answers to anything I didn't already know.

Frustrated, I turn to his desk, hoping he left a clue. All these years, I thought he had locked himself in here searching for Owen. But if that is the case, why is he looking into the Quattro so intently? The one lead that pointed to the Quattro turned out to be a dead end. Owen wasn't with them. Was he? I turn away from the desk, trying to collect my thoughts, when my eyes fall onto Ethan. My heart almost stops in my chest. Not only is Ethan younger in that photo, he's in California—with me. My eyes dart from photo to photo, realizing quickly that Bobby has been searching longer than I have known him. "He knew?" I ask myself, astonished.

Then my eyes fall to Cassandra, but she's younger, and Bobby doesn't have her labeled as Cassandra Lupa; he has her labeled as Pricilla Malocchio. My mouth dries instantly. I yank my phone from my pocket, dialing Clayton's number as fast as my fingers can fly.

"Hey, Alec, what's up?" Clayton asks, laughing.

"Get to my house, Clayton. No questions. Grab the Angels."

"Alec?" Clayton asks, suddenly worried.

"It's an order, Clayton!" I yell, hanging up, not wanting to explain on the phone; then I text Mike, telling him to circle my place until I give him the green light to come over.

I stare at the walls for the longest moment, trying to think. Why has Bobby been this involved in the Quattro? He's obviously not a part of it; he's hunting, but why? Has he been using me all this time? Slowly, my brain starts to work past the panic, registering a wall full of his notes for the first time. "New York. California." My mind's eye grasps for an answer. "Why, what is in New York and in California?" I ask myself. "Ethan? Me?" But if that is the case, why isn't Texas written down? Why is Bobby here? "Come on, Bobby, talk to me," I mutter, searching the walls. There is so much information. Annoyed, I try his desk again and knock his mouse, causing his monitor to light up. I am surprised to see a picture of Bobby with a younger boy staring back at me. I study it for a moment; they look so much alike. I try to log in, but I can't get past his password. Giving up, I go back to the paper files, hoping something is in here. My hands fly through the endless files. That's when I find a flyer, but it's not of Owen, it's of the boy on Bobby's screen. "Xzavier Spencer," I read aloud. I look at the screen in disbelief. "You have a brother, Bobby?" I stare at the screen a moment longer, he looks familiar but I can't seem to place it. He does look like Bobby, but that isn't it. It's something else.

Blood drains from my face when I look back at the wall, realizing instantly Bobby's obsession with the Quattro _._ The feeling of helplessness sinks in. Do they have his brother? "You didn't trust me, love?" I whisper aloud. "I could have helped you but you didn't trust me?" My heart is torn from my chest trying to figure out if it's because he thought he couldn't or if he was trying to protect me.

"Alec!" I hear Clayton call.

I look to the door and back at the wall, making a split decision. "I'll be right up!" I call, taking Pricilla's photo off the wall. It hurts, really hurts, but if Bobby's right about anything, trust is very hard to come by. This is too delicate to tell them. The way I see it, if they don't know, then Bobby didn't trust them either; for a good reason or not, I'm not ready to chance it. I need to get into his computer, but I don't have time for that. Right now I need to put out this fire. Making the choice of keeping them in the dark about Xzavier, I dry my eyes, lock up Bobby's office, and head upstairs.

"Alec, what the hell is going on?" Clayton asks the moment he sees me.

"What's going on is we are at war," I answer, handing him a picture of Pricilla.

He studies the image for a moment before looking at me. "War?" he questions. "I'm confused, Alec. Why does Cassandra have you up in arms? We've been on alert for months."

"Brad told you the acid was Cassandra's idea," I remind him. "She's a loose cannon. She's on a warpath to the Angels of Justice. All of us are on her hit list and she has an army behind her."

"An army?" Ben asks. "Since when does Cassandra have an army?"

"Since her name isn't Cassandra Lupa," I answer, trying to keep my body from shaking. _How long has Bobby known? Why didn't he tell us?_ Glory asks in my head.

"Okay?" Clayton asks, handing me the photograph. "If not Cassandra, then what?"

I direct my attention to the rest of my audience, studying their faces. "Her name is Pricilla Malocchio." I am mostly greeted with looks of confusion except for one. He obviously recognizes the name but quickly corrects his expression. I don't miss it, but I don't question him about it; now isn't the time.

"Pricilla Malocchio?" Clayton asks, looking confused as ever.

"She is the only female head in the Quattro," I answer, keeping my expression neutral; again he reacts, but he's quick to fix his slip.

 _"_ The Quattro _?"_ Clayton asks, recognizing the organization, going pale. "Alec, are you sure?"

"Yes," I answer firmly.

"How?" he challenges.

"I just do," I respond, giving him a look that tells him to drop it.

"Am I missing something?" Ben asks, watching us. Obviously Amber hasn't taken him around Darkest Desires, otherwise he would have at least heard of them.

"They are a network of slave owners," I answer. "Who took Bobby."

"They what?" Daniel asks, honestly stunned.

"Find her," I growl, slamming Pricilla's photo down on my coffee table, "and we find Bobby."

"Alec, I know you are upset. It's only been a few days since he went missing. Are you sure?" Daniel questions.

"She helped Brad attack you and Mike! She tried to kill you both with _acid_! Mike has a lifetime limp and Clayton almost lost his ability to walk because of this bitch! Am I sure, Daniel? I have never been more fucking sure in my damn life."

"I meant are you sure they are the same person," he clarifies with a sharp tone.

"Yes," I answer confidently.

"Why now?" Daniel challenges. I shake my head back and forth, not really wanting to answer that.

"Damn it, Alec, Daniel's got a point. What the hell happened to set her off after all this time?" Clayton demands.

"You know the injuries Brad sustained were severe," I answer honestly.

"Alec, you didn't do anything you couldn't live with. You left him alive," Clayton reminds me.

I look to him with frustration. "He's dead."

"What?" Clayton asks, astonished.

"I didn't kill him. I told you he contracted pneumonia, which led to complications and killed him." I frown. "Pricilla blames me, after all I was the one who put him there to start with." I take a breath. "I didn't realize how dangerous it was. I had no clue he was part of the damn Quattro."

"When did he die?" Clayton asks cautiously.

"Last week," I answer dismissively, not looking at him. Him and I both know we were attacked when Brad got diagnosed, was Bobby stolen because the phenomena ended up killing Brad? Not wanting to dwell on this, I turn to the others. "We got two options, fight or run. You ask me my choice, I'm fighting. It's time for war." My eyes flash in anger. They will not torment Bobby and get away with it. I'm getting him back even if he hates me; I'm saving him from that hell.

"It's not a matter of fighting, Alec." Daniel frowns. "We have been searching for her since the attack. Even with this piece of information, we are still at square one. Where do we fight? How?"

"Having her real name will help," Ben pipes up, studying the picture that is being passed around. "We will work on it. We will find him, Alec. And when we do, we will stand behind you. He is one of us. We will bring him home."

"Thank you," I respond with a weak smile. I got what I needed from them for now. "Please, go hunt! Report back," I demand dismissively, looking away. I know I look like hell, so I play it to my advantage, needing most of them to leave. I sway a moment, intentionally.

"Alec?" Clayton questions, grabbing my arm.

"I'm fine," I answer weakly.

"No you're not," Clayton argues. "We'll look into this Grand Master but right now you need to lie down." He turns to the others. "Keep us updated. Have a nice night."

Ben heads for the door, but Daniel hesitates. "Clayton?"

"Alec needs me, Daniel," he responds, cutting him off.

"Of course." He nods, lingering a moment longer before he, too, leaves.

I turn to Clayton, straightening up. "We need to talk, Clayton." He studies me as I text Mike, telling him that when all but Clayton's car is gone, it's all clear.

"Alec, I wasn't kidding about you lying down, you look like shit," Clayton worries.

"Happens when the man you love isn't who you thought he was," I snap, trying to breathe.

"What are you talking about?" Clayton asks, pulling his eyebrows together.

"When Mike gets here I'll explain," I answer, going to my kitchen sink to splash water on my face.

"Mike?" Clayton questions, watching me with worry. "Alec, what the hell is going on?"

Before I can answer that, Mike lets himself in. "Hey, Alec, what gives?" I give him a look of concern at his quick entry. "I'm parked at the end of the street. I've been waiting in your backyard. Don't worry no one saw me."

I dry my face with a nearby dish towel, then calmly place it down on the counter. "What gives is I trust you two with my life," I answer, turning abruptly, walking down to my basement. They follow noisily, while demanding an explanation. I turn to them when they get to the bottom of the steps, my glare effectively silencing them. "What I am about to show you has a direct link to my past. What I am about to tell you does not ever leave the three of us, am I clear?"

"Why me?" Mike asks, taking a step back.

I give him a half smile; he knows why I trust him. "You are a protector, Mike."

"This has to do with your Angels of Justice?" he asks.

I turn from him to unlock the door. "Yes," I answer, opening it and reaching for the light. "You in?"

"Define in."

"You're one of us, Mike, you always have been." I shrug. "Consider it official. If you're in?"

"Yeah, I'm in." He smiles.

"Good." I wink, flipping the light on.

"This is going to tell me how you know Cassandra and Pricilla are the same person?" Clayton asks. I nod my head yes, watching Mike's surprised expression go to one of awe when he steps past me, following Clayton into the room. They both look around flabbergasted. "You do this?" Clayton asks.

"No." I frown. "This is Bobby's personal office. I thought he was looking for Owen. Turns out I'm wrong." I hand him a missing-person flyer of Xzavier Spencer. "I didn't know. But looking at it, it appears Bobby has a younger brother." Clayton and Mike both understand immediately. Bobby's been searching for Xzavier, and that search led to the Quattro _._ "He must have recognized my scar when we met at Darkest Desires and he decided to use me."

"Alec, no. Bobby loves you," Clayton argues, refusing to believe it.

"What can we do?" Mike asks, touching the only white space in the room, where Pricilla's picture was. "Did he know they were the same?"

"He couldn't have," I argue. "Not for long at least. He never met her." The room is deathly quiet while they absorb the information hastily posted all over the walls. "Mike, I need you to hack his computer. I need to know what he knows. I need to know if he went to them or if they took him."

"On it," Mike responds, moving to sit in Bobby's office chair.

My lungs feel like they are filled with water and there is nothing I can do to stop drowning. "If you fail, if we can't find him, then Bobby will surely die," I whisper, tears of fear streaking out of my unblinking eyes, praying to the heavens he didn't go off half-cocked to New York.

"We'll find him," Clayton assures me, squeezing my arms. "Once he's safe, don't let me forget, I owe him an ass kicking." I give him a sad smile. "He didn't use you, Alec. It might have started that way but that man loves you."

"It's not important right now, Clayton," I dismiss, not wanting to think about it. "What's important is you two have all the facts about my past."

"You sure you want to go through this again, Alec? I can give Mike the cliff notes version," Clayton worries.

"You don't have all the facts, Clayton," I whisper, putting his scarred hand in mine, squeezing tightly. "I always told you I wasn't telling you everything." He nods, his eyes full of fear and worry. "What I'm about to tell you can get all three of us killed." Mike stops working, giving me his full attention. "Your choice, stay or go." Mike nods in acceptance, turning back to the task at hand. Clayton squeezes my hand back just as tightly as I've been squeezing his. His touch is honestly the only thing keeping me from drowning.

I fall to my knees, knowing I have to start from the beginning for Mike's sake. Clayton falls with me, grabbing my other hand, his eyes my anchor. "Listen very closely. Don't interrupt. I promise, you are going to hate what I'm about to tell you." I shake my head, trying to prepare myself. "Remember, I don't want your damn sympathy for any of it. You can't change the past. No matter Bobby's intentions or feelings, I love him. I will move the heavens to save him. I am declaring war on the Quattro, with or without the support of the Angels of Justice. Be warned, there's no coming back from this, and like every war, people are going to die."


	20. Lies

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it, I will sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Lies**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

The past six hours have been a whirlwind. I just found out that the people I love and trust the most are not at all who they say they are. I am in shock but mostly I am pissed. I absolutely hate being lied to, deceived. And it is evident now that every person I have surrounded myself with socially and even professionally have done nothing but lie to me.

Six hours ago I was oblivious to this fact, until Alec called me in a voice I had only heard once before. I had no idea what was going on I just knew there was trouble. He wanted an emergency Angels of Justice's meeting, he dropped the bomb that Cassandra wasn't a Cassandra Lupa but Pircillia Malocchio. I knew the sir name Malocchio. Which didn't make sense until Alec finally trusted me with everything.

I know Alec better than the rest of the group and I know when he is holding back. Knowing he has trust issues I kicked everyone out to make sure Alec was okay. I thought he had lost his mind. Instead I find out I was the one who was extremely misinformed on most of his life. I consider the man my closest friend and he was nothing but a complete stranger. He showed his true colors after Mike Walker of all people came in, and he initiated the man to our group unceremoniously. Red flags have gone up everywhere. Then I seen Bobby's office, or better referred to as the room of madness. I was lost and confused until Alec started talking. Some things I knew, others I didn't. He is drained from the story, I am in shock from hearing it. The danger freaks me out admittedly but I can plan for that, what gets me are the lies, the layers and layers of lies.

Of all who are involved in this distasteful mess, I can forgive Alec the most. Hell to be honest I don't even have the right to be pissed. I knew he was hiding shit from me, I allowed it. Who am I kidding, I even encouraged it. How many times have I told him it was okay to hold back, even after he told me about most of his past? More than I can count to be honest. I didn't want to have conformation on what I feared. He wasn't safe, he never has been.

The first time I suspected this was the day I met Ethan Fidato face to face. I discovered him when he ran a background check on me. It took my men less than two hours to track him down. The moment I had gotten his phone number I called him. He informed me that we needed to speak in person, that Alec was in danger. I booked the next flight and flew my ass to California. What I found there was nothing I had prepared for.

I had tried to agree on a public place but he wasn't having it. He had said it was too dangerous for that. I was not amused. Eventually we agreed on an empty baseball field. I had brought some security with me, I was dammed if I was going to meet a stranger and find myself dead for it. I do remember it was a beautiful damn day.

 _"_ _Clayton Reynolds?" A short guy with brown hair had asked._

 _"_ _As if you don't know." I respond, keeping my shades on._

 _"_ _Well gotta hand it to Alec, he has fine taste." The man whom I presume is Ethan shrugs sitting next to me._

 _"_ _How many of them guys are on your dime?"_

 _"_ _Six." I answer, keeping my stare forward._

 _"_ _Overkill." He laughs. "Cost of being famous I guess."_

 _"_ _Why am I here Ethan?" I ask, bored._

 _"_ _Because you care for Alec." He sighs. "So do I."_

 _"_ _You some crazy ex-boyfriend or some shit?" I ask turning to him._

 _"_ _No, never so lucky to have him want me like he does you." Ethan frowns. There is an awkward silence before he speaks again. "What has he told you about his scars?"_

 _"_ _That they are his past." I shrug. Ethan nods, keeping quite. "Why what do you know about them?"_

 _He keeps his head forward, "Everything. I am the man who put a fair share of them there."_

 _Without thought I reacted, I grabbed him by the shirt, knocked his head against the bleacher seat above us and pounded into the man. Tearing up my hands while I damn near broke his face and ribs. He didn't even raise his arms in defense. "Fight back!" I remember screaming over and over again. But he wouldn't, at least not until my hands were raw._

 _With swollen eyes, a cut lip, a bloody nose and bruised if not broken ribs. He raised gripped my fist and pushed me off of him. His strength surprised me and I found myself pinned underneath him without warning. "I did it to save his life." He growled, then spit blood, letting me go. I laid there stunned for a short moment, eventually sitting up and straightening my shirt, waving off my hired body guards._

 _"_ _Save his life?" I counter. "Are you fucking kidding me?"_

 _"_ _No." he answers all too seriously. "Like I said on the phone, Alec is in danger."_

 _"_ _Danger from what?" I ask annoyed._

 _"_ _His past." Ethan frowns again, wincing as he adjusts in his seat._

 _"_ _He doesn't talk about that." I frown, inspecting the damage to my hands._

 _"_ _Good." Ethan replies dryly._

 _"_ _What can I do?" I ask, looking straight ahead again, dropping my hands._

 _"_ _If I understand the relation you and Alec have, he is not going to want to keep things from you." Ethan frowns. "Noble, but stupid." I turn my attention to him. "He is going to have to either openly keep things from you or lie to you."_

 _"_ _And if he doesn't?" I ask pissed at the idea of that._

 _"_ _Then he won't be the only one in danger." Ethan replies in such a serious tone, I believed him. "Your life will be claimed first, then after years of him living with that guilt, they will take his."_

 _"_ _They?"_

 _Silence falls between us. Then he turns to me, avoiding my question. "Alec deserves a better fate than that, don't you agree?" Without another word Ethan stood up and painfully walked out of stadium._

I was forced to make a choice that day. I could walk away from Alec, which was simply not possible. I could demand that he tell me everything, and risk both our lives. Or I could allow my angel to openly lie to me. That conversation with Ethan was clear, doing my research would only bring bad fortune to all.

I couldn't help myself when I got back. I tried to play it cool, but I had a feeling Ethan was planning on upsetting Alec's life and I had to know that he was safe. Fuck the panic when I couldn't reach him was wrenched. Not to mention the fact Ale saw right through me, when I tried not to tell him any part of the truth. I didn't want to mention Ethan at all, but I was left with no choice. I made up some lie about my injuries, hating every word of it. Then I texted Ethan with the information, with the feeling that he might need it.

Sure enough he did. Hell not only did he need it, he stole Alec from me for nearly half a year. Ethan planned it well. The number I had was disconnected, my cell phone, that Alec had, was dismantled. Ethan allowed me to see him with Alec, to give me as much silent reassurance as possible while playing up his hatred for me in the process. Hours after Alec had called me Ethan send me a text before my phone no longer accepted messages.

 _To be clear I am saving Alec from himself. HE did this._

 _Do NOT look for him, if you do, we are ALL dead._

That was it. No real explanation, no indication that I would ever see either of them again, more or less Levi. I was terrified I wouldn't. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what his doing was. The cops were on his tale for it, Chloe was a clam on all things pertaining to it, and Alec had given me just enough information for me to know that Levi's kidnapper had ties to Alec's past.

At the time of course I only knew that Alec's past consisted of a small group of abusive Sir's. I was oblivious to the fact they were a part of an organization. I had never heard of the Quattro until tonight. Had I known I am honestly not sure what I would have done. As it was, I made sure Alec and Levi were both taken care of for the slim possibility of their return. At least my hope wasn't for nothing. I got Alec back, and Chloe got Levi. But fuck if it doesn't piss me off to know what Chloe asked Alec to do. Had she not, he would be free from all of this. The thought still makes me angry.

"Today Alec? Ethan _owns_ you today? And every other day I have known you since you came back with Levi?" I ask, hurt beyond comprehension. Of all the secrets that Ethan begged me not to ask, I simply wasn't expecting this.

"I'm sorry." Alec whispers in reply.

Unable to take my own thoughts and stay in Bobby's office one moment longer, I jerk to my feet and step outside, and work to light up with shaking fingers. I finally manage it, only to find Alec had followed me. Tonight has been filled with some much dramatic information I can't even process it all, despite knowing things, the holes I have always wondered, are filled with horror, no wonder he has nightmares, it's amazing the man can sleep at all.

And here I thought I had dramatic issues, just bouncing around the past couple of years with Daniel, first crying to Alec when I thought I lost the perfect submissive. Not to mention the rollercoaster of dating the man. I have been a selfish blubbering idiot who backed my best friend into a corner, with no real idea of the risk he was taking when he allowed Daniel in. No wonder he fought so damn hard to keep me out of the Angels of Justice to start with. Fuck I am a selfish asshole.

"Please will somebody say something." Alec protests, causing me to snap out of my thoughts and notice Mike had stepped outside as well. To be honest I am not sure what to say.

"I found something." Mike offers. I can always count on Mike to cut the tension, I give him a grateful half smile while he passes a binder to Alec, I look over Alec's shoulder, willing my hands not to reach out and hug him. "Just a series of newspaper clippings," Mike continues, "Did you know Bobby's parents were killed by a drunk driver?"

I knew Bobby had lost his parents, but I didn't know how. Alec apparently did. "Yeah what about it?"

Mike points to an article he had passed onto Alec, "It says here Bobby and Xzavier survived them," Mike summarizes. "They had no surviving relatives and were put into the state's system." I watch the blood drain from Alec's face. "I also found some letters. It seems they were not always fostered together, and when Bobby turned of age to be Xzavier's legal guardian, he took him in. About a year later, Xzavier disappeared."

"What makes you say that?" Alec asks, skimming through the article.

"This letter is from Bobby telling him he will be taking him home with him in a week, and then Xzavier's flyers have a missing date." He hands them to Alec. I reach out and brace his hips, worried Alec was going to fall over.

"So Bobby went hunting after his little brother," I conclude, giving Alec a moment to catch his breath. "Is there any mention of Owen at all?"

"Bobby spent his time trying to connect Owen's disappearance to the Quattro, despite Ethan's denial. He didn't seem to have had any luck." Mike shrugs.

"Ethan wouldn't lie," Alec snaps in anger. I let him go, knowing that anger will keep him on his feet for now.

"Ethan might not have known," Mike points out. "Besides, what other clue did he have to go on, Alec? It was well known Owen was on the Quattro's hit list. What are the odds of him finding an additional creep? Heck, even if he did, the Quattro would have followed him and took him from there."

Wait a minute back up, did Mike just say well known? I find myself glaring, he has been lying to me about this too! "You seem very informed on the Quattro for one just hearing about them."

"I was asked to do my homework." Mike shrugs, turning away and walking back inside.

"Asked by whom?" I demand, flicking my cigarette and following him in. No way one of the handful of persons I trust most in my life was getting off that easy.

"By me," Alec answers, surprising me.

"What the hell for?" I demand angrily. It's bad enough he had to lie, but to recruit those around me.

"He had a hunch Cassandra was more than she seemed," Mike answers, directing his attention back to Bobby's computer screen. My eyes narrow, Mike has never been a good liar, or so I thought and right now, I know for a damn fact he is holding out on me. Before I can call him out he manages to change the subject. "Wait a minute," her mutters, clicking something.

The next moment, Bobby's face is on his computer screen. He stares at the camera for a moment before he starts talking. "Alec, I'm so sorry." Now I really want to punch his face in. Cursed be the day I get my hands on him, I watch Alec go from white to green. "I was going to tell you about Xzavier. But then you said you were in love with Ethan and I followed you, and I realized you two were still in contact." He seems nervous, he should be, he knows I am going to kick his ass. "I went back to Ethan's demanding to know why you were there. He told me that you are under his protection, nothing more." Is he crying? Fuck him! He has no right, get off the heart strings you fucking liar, Alec isn't buying it. "Alec, please, know I didn't want to hold back with you. I wanted to trust you with everything. I wanted to tell you so badly. But you didn't trust me with Ethan, how could I trust you with my brother? Not that I can't trust you, just not with him." Ouch. I turn my attention to Alec who looks like he has just been hit in the stomach.

"I love you, Alec Impavido. Do not look around this room and think I used you because that is not the case. I knew about your scars before I met you. I bowed to you at Darkest Desires, ecstatic that a Quattro slave was free. Praying you could show me how so I could free Xzavier, only to have those hopes tarnished when I realized that you were not free." If this is an act . . . "When I looked into your eyes, Alec, I saw you, I saw your soul. I knew despite my desperation, I knew I could not use you. I backed away, but you called me. You asked me to work for you. I tried not to love you. I tried so hard. But, Alec, love, you have it wrong. Clayton isn't the irresistible one, you are." I sit up a little straighter, okay this actually seems genuine. Leave it to Bobby to state the obvious. "I think I found something, Alec, and if you are seeing this, then I might have found both Xzavier and Owen." Now he has my full undivided attention. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to misunderstand. There has always been something off, something not right, and lately it's become more suspicious to me. After I record this, I am going to Daniel Kingsley and confront him about his involvement with the Quattro _._ "

"What?" I gasp, jumping to my feet. Shaking my head in denial, this isn't happening, this cannot be happening!

"If something happens and you are viewing this, start there," Bobby advises. "Alec, I love you and I will come back to you, unless I die trying."

The camera dies and both Mike and Alec do not seem all that surprised that Bobby has just accused Daniel of being a part of the most terrifying organization I have ever heard of. No! No! No! I meet Alec's eyes, finding the truth in them. This can't be happening, I continue to deny shaking my head in anger and disbelief. "How long have you suspected something?" I demand of him.

"Clayton."

"How long, Master?" I repeat through clenched teeth. How could he keep this from me? Why? Was finding Owen more important than my life? Not to mention this can't be true, Daniel is many things, but deceptive and manipulating . . . I don't buy it. He came back clean on multiple background checks. He is an innocent victim in all this mess!

"Ever since I brought it to his attention," Mike answers, causing me to spin around. Alec scramble to my feet, ready to protect Mike. "He's been acting strange, Clay," Mike continues cautiously. "The guilt over what happened to your feet is understandable to a point, but he started disappearing on Ben during shoots and he wasn't coming home. His behavior just seemed weird. I was trying to determine if he was cheating, which believe me he hid that well, otherwise I would have caught him. I wasn't expecting to tie Daniel to the Quattro but we all shared a hospital during our recovery, Clay. I caught Daniel visiting Brad."

"So what?" I scream. "He had the right to confront his attacker."

Mike sighs heavily, looking to Alec for help. "He was seen talking to someone who resembled Pricilla, Cassandra, but it couldn't be confirmed," Alec chimes in with just as cautious of a tone. "We weren't ready to tell you any of this, Clayton. But you saw his reaction upstairs tonight. You and Ben could tell she was one and the same. Pictures don't lie but Daniel tried to talk us out of it."

Unbelievable, he just admitted he was planning on continuing to lie to me! Are you kidding me? Not to mention they are wrong, Daniel is _not_ one of them. "Where's his scar?" I challenge, grabbing a photo off the wall and throwing it at Alec. "If he's dirty, where is his fucking scar?"

"Not everyone is branded, Clayton. Que never marks his slaves, turning them all into recruiters," He replies patiently, jogging my memory. "If not for Lance, that would have been my fate."

 _Holy shit._ My legs give out. My mind starts to work overtime. I met Daniel through Alec. He fought to be my only submissive, he decided to fuck with me when he expressed feelings for me, causing not only me but Alec needless pain. His crazy ex-boyfriend is a member of the Quattro. Assuming Brad was ever his boyfriend at all. We broke up but only came back when I was moving on. Him and Mike are kidnapped and tortured but he walks away practically unscathed while Mike suffers lifelong injuries and almost died. Daniel took me down a broken road of pain where I almost lost the ability to walk just to please him. All of it, just to hurt Alec and those he loves. How could I be so blind? Why didn't my friends say anything?

I feel Mike's arms wrap around me, his voice of reason in my ear. "I wanted to tell you Clay but you would have pushed me away. I didn't want to be the jealous ex-boyfriend that you never spoke to again. I needed proof, I didn't have it. Please forgive me, please know we have been making sure no one hurts you physically. We have been as emotionally supportive as we can. I am sorry, Alec is sorry. Please, don't hate us. I hate lying to you, not you Clay. I love you. Please."

I look up at him and his eyes are full of pain, full of honesty. I touch his cheek, remembering the first time I let him in, it was in my office, right after I fucked Rose. Ice runs through my veins. Daniel sent her. My vocal cords strain to work. "Her name was Rose. Who else would have known that but him?" I lean slightly closer to Mike and whisper in his ear. "Forgiven." He smiles, kissing my hand. I am so damn angry at them both, but I do forgive them. They know me well, I would have kicked them out of my life unless they provided a mountain of evidence. That mountain didn't exist before Bobby's disappearance and his video. Looks like my paranoia has rubbed off in a good way. I frown to myself, "If we can't trust Daniel, then we can't trust Ben?"

"That's why I didn't mention Xzavier," Alec responds. "But I had to tell them about Pricilla."

"You were testing them," I state, understanding.

"Yes," Alec confirms. "I don't know about Ben, Clayton, but you're right, he's Daniel's best friend."

"Then it's just the three of us," I sigh, sitting up straighter, cutting off any and all emotion pertaining to Daniel. If he hurt Bobby, or had someone do his dirty work I will kill him. Thank fuck I didn't marry him.

I feel Alec squeeze my leg. I turn my attention to him, "No, Clayton, it's just me. I'm giving you an out. You now know everything there is to know. You know you have been lied to by not only Daniel but me." _And a list of others . . ._ "I am sorry that I've deceived you, Clayton. I did it only to protect you but I understand if it's too much. This is your chance to walk away. Save yourself, both of you. Walk away, please," he pleads with me.

I lean forward, putting his forehead on mine. "You _never_ lied to me, Alec. You told me." He tries to interrupt, only to stop when I put my finger on his lips. "You told me you couldn't tell me everything. I let you hide this. I never pushed." _Thanks to Ethan._ _"_ I knew you would only hide something to protect me. I let you." His eyes meet mine. "Angel, when will you learn that pushing me away will never ever work?" I ask, causing tears spill out of his eyes. He tries to look away but I grab his cheeks. "Look at me," I demand, refusing to let him break eye contact. "I'm not leaving you, Alec. The man you love with everything is in danger and I will not abandon you."

"Neither will I." Mike adds, touching his shoulder.

Alec tries to argue again but I stop him by pressing his lips to mine, kissing him lightly. "Forever, Angel, I am by your side to the end," I whisper, putting his scarred hand in mine. Mike grabs my other hand, and Alec pulls away from my forehead. He doesn't say what he is thinking, he doesn't have to. Mike and I are fully aware of what we are facing; at least with three of us, there are better odds that one, will come home with their life.


	21. Deception

**A/N: This story is protected by copyright! Try it and I WILL sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Deception**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

After I left Alec's I found myself making my way to a place I swore I would never find myself again. When Alec had disappeared in search for Levi, Chloe and I had an extreme falling out. She was working with Ethan when Alec was free and to discover he is owned! No fucking way the bitch doesn't know. This is all her fucking fault! She discarded Alec's very existence for her own personal gain. I hate her even more now.

Back then her and I came to a simple understanding, I will be a part of her life as little as possible and we will tolerate one another for Alec's sake. We did a decent job at this. I know Alec hated it but he accepted it. I kept my status as a Dom for Angels of Justice's sake, but I used my fame as an excuse not to teach or even really being in a scene at her place. It worked, hell even Alec was willing to bring prospects for me to his house because of it.

Yes it all worked out well and I had made a choice not to ever come here unannounced. So when her fancy security system showed my expensive wheels pulling into the parking lot, I was not at all surprised to find her ready to greet me. "What is it? Is Alec okay?" she asks in sheer panic.

"You want to do this here?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "My car has more privacy." Her body goes rigid with caution but her eyes are still worried. "Alec's fine, no thanks to you." I meet her gaze. It doesn't take her long to register the meaning. She answers proudly, stranding to her full height and enters my care. The moment the doors close I don't sugar coat my feelings. "I hate you."

"You have every right to." She frowns. "That why you are here? To tell me what I already knew?"

"No." I answer, keeping my gaze straight ahead. "I am here because you fucked up way worse than I realized."

"I love Levi just as much as you love Alec!" she argues, "You would have done the same!"

"No I wouldn't have!" I scream back at her. "I love him enough to sacrifice MY life, MY existence, _not_ someone else's!" She tries to rebuttal but I am in no mood. "That is not why I am here Chloe. I am here because you are a bitch and I am calling you out!" She stops mid-word and takes a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "You knew didn't you? You knew the cost of saving Levi was Alec's freedom!"

She is silent for a long moment. "No. But I knew it was a risk." she answers, watching me cautiously.

"Did you know Cassandra Lupia and Pricilla Malocchio are one in the same?" I question.

"Yes." She confirms.

"Nice try." I glare, "You know what I think? I think Cassandra is a very good escape goat. After all we are basing our assumption that she is Pricilla off a picture from Bobby's wall. And Bobby was really good at keeping secrets from us, so who fed him the picture of Pricilla? It had to be you. Because _you_ are Pricilla Malocchio."

It takes a moment to feel the sting of the slap across my face. "You are an asshole Clayton Reynolds!"

"You are hiding something Chloe Vivace, if that is your real name!"

"Vivace-Knight you prick! I am married!" she screams, getting out of my car.

I lean over to the passenger seat and yell to her while she slams the door. "We believe the Quattro has Bobby." She opens the door and sits back down, closing it again. "What the fuck are you hiding Chloe? You didn't even ask me about the picture."

"I am NOT Pricilla Malocchio." She answers firmly.

I try not to lose my patience but they are wearing thin, "What are you hiding?"

"I need you to trust me Clayton."

"Trust you?" I ask in a humorless laugh. "You risk Alec's life, you don't try to be surprised when I tell you about the connection between Cassandra and Pricilla, you don't even question as to why Bobby was taken by the Quattro. And you want me to trust you? Fat chance."

"Bobby told me everything." She shrugs. "He trusts me."

"Sure he did."

"He asked me for help to find Xzavier, his brother." She reveals.

"I don't trust you." I glare.

"Alec does."

"If you hurt him, I will kill you."

"I am not your enemy Clayton."

"Prove it."

She studies me for a moment. "Now you are asking me to trust you."

"Alec does." I throw back at her.

She twists her lips. "Come on." Without another word she gets out of my car and I follow her. She takes me to her office and locks the door. I watch as she plays with a few buttons and realize quickly she is turning off all surveillance in the room. This makes me a bit nervous and I chose to keep my distance. She walks over to a wall and reveals a safe, once it is open she hands me something. Something I sure the hell wasn't expecting. I look up at her and she shrugs. "Trust me now?"

"Mind if I verify it's authenticity?"

"I wouldn't trust you if you didn't." she smiles. "But once you do, we need to figure out the next move, together. In secret, the less who know, the safer everyone is."

"Is that wise?" I ask, taking photos of what I need and giving her back her possession.

"If Alec and you want to come out of this alive, it is your only choice."

"I still hate you." I respond pocketing my phone. Denying even to myself in this moment that this changes everything.

"It's okay Clayton, I have hated you for breaking Alec's heart for years now." She goes back to her security system after such a low blow. "Difference aside, we have no choice but to work together."

"Oh I have a choice Chloe." I answer going for the door.

"I can break you Clayton, remember that. You tell Alec and life as you know it is over."

I stop mid step and turn to her. "That a threat?"

"I don't make threats." She answers hitting the last few buttons of here surveillance and goes back to watching the screens.

I make my way back to my car wondering if anyone in my life before tonight has ever been honest with me.


	22. The Past Haunts Us All

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **The Past Haunts Us All**

 **Alec's Point of View**

Ethan hasn't left my house since I called him to come over after Clayton and Mike left. Ethan has spent hours in Bobby's office studying it. Trying to follow Bobby's leads to see he can actually find Xzavier. So far he hasn't had much luck. I have tried to help him when I can but I also have to work. I know my kids are worried and I have already been gone so long and now with Bobby missing. It's not fair to stay home and sulk. The kids offer to help with flyers and theories and we talk about their concerns that something is really wrong. I do my best to hide my physical pain from my kids and assure them that my attack and Bobby's disappearance are not related. They don't appear convinced and truth be told I am not convincing myself.

When I get home I find Ethan making dinner. I sit down at the counter in my kitchen and pop a soda.

"I'm worried." Ethan sighs.

"You're worried." I retort with a mild laugh.

"I don't have any more information. There is a mountain to sort through down there."

"I figured." I respond, trying to steel myself. "What now?"

"Now you tell me everything you have been holding back." He replies. "I know you were the last one to see Bobby but you never told me what you two talked about. Nor have you explained why he was so accepting to my presence at the hospital." I glare at him. "I haven't pushed Alec, but it is time."

"The night Pricilla went on an attempted murder spree." I shrug. "He confronted me about being your slave."

"Wait what?" Ethan asks, confused. "You didn't tell him?"

"Not me." I respond honestly. "He got a text. It was a photo of me kneeling for you at Clayton's. He confronted me, he wanted to know why I would go back to you. When I explained . . . he was okay with it." I take a drink. "Our last conversation consisted of me telling him everything about my past." Ethan turns off the burners and approaches me. "He told me that he loved me and never to doubt. He warned me he would be late to see me in the hospital that night. He also told me he wasn't being honest with me but he would tell me everything that night. He went to work but he never came back to me."

"You trust that?" Ethan asks. "I mean, are you sure he wasn't skipping town?"

"He didn't run Ethan."

"Did you get the impression he was in danger?"

"I didn't know what the hell he was searching for." I shrug, playing with the tab on my can, "But I felt it in my gut it was dangerous."

"And no one has talked to him since?"

"No."

"You plan on telling anybody else, everything?" he challenges.

"Clayton and Mike know but that is it."

His eyes widen in anger, "Without my permission!"

"Their lives are at risk, they have the right to know!" I defend.

"No more! Do you hear me!" He orders, "Unless you want us to vanish into thin air you will keep your damn mouth shut as to who the fuck owns you."

"Yes Sir." I reply, annoyed, earning a smack across my face for my sarcastic tone.

"Is there anything else you are not telling me?" He seethes.

The question takes me by surprise and I realize he must have come across the recording Bobby left on his computer. "No one has confronted Daniel yet, if that is what you are getting at. But he swears he didn't see Bobby that day or any day after."

"You need to confront Daniel." He tells me.

"I know but I was giving Clayton the chance." Ethan glares. "Don't look at me like that. Daniel has agreed to come over tonight. Clayton had his chance yesterday but Daniel managed to evade him with a work crisis in the middle of dinner. It's my turn to try."

"Good." Ethan praises walking back to the stove to turn the burners back on. "The cops have any theories as to what actually happened with you and Clayton?"

"Detective Cole has made it seem like a weird break in." I shrug. "As far as what happened to Bobby. They have no evidence that he was abducted and won't do much unless there is a ransom note." I take a drink. "At least with Dale I don't have to keep answering questions about the art work carved into my back." I set my drink down. "And I know he will take Bobby's disappearance seriously."

"That is dangerous, if it leads to my family . . ."

"He knows about your family, you guys have his sister." I snap. He says nothing to that. "Ethan, Bobby could be dead in a ditch somewhere, your family innocent of the entire thing! I need help with this."

"We'll find him, Alec." Ethan tells me looking at the stove. I frown, I wish I could believe that.

"There is something else." I push the soda can away from me. "I can't place it, but I could swear I have seen Xzavier before."

Ethan shrugs turning off the stove and moving the hot food to plates, "He has a strong resemblance to Bobby."

"He does." I agree. "But that isn't it. There is something familiar about him." I pull at my hair, "Every time I try to place it I feel … angry. I don't know, it's like I don't want to remember but need to? It's weird."

"Most likely it's just lack of sleep." Ethan smiles, but it doesn't escape me that he isn't meeting my eyes. "I am going to study the office some more, talk to Daniel, get the facts." He makes himself a plate, then heads down stairs.

Still bothered by the Xzavier puzzle I sit in silence and wait. Finally Daniel arrives, distracting me from my memory block.

"New paint?" Daniel asks walking in.

"New floors." I shrug. "Clayton insisted."

"Good man." Daniel notes sitting down on the couch. "You wanted to talk?"

"I have spent many years with a nagging feeling that you are hiding something and the moment I write it off, my boyfriend goes missing." I answer, getting straight to the point.

"So I am to blame then?" he bitches. "Is this the way you are going to get me out of Clayton's life?"

"This isn't about Clayton." I snap. "Bobby pointed the finger, not me." I add, causing him to straighten up in his chair.

"Did he or did he not come to see you that day?" I demand.

"You too? What is this? As I told Clayton, no, he didn't!" Daniel snaps but he knows I am not buying it.

"I don't trust you Daniel, and that can be detrimental to your relationship with Clayton. So I am going to ask you one last time. Did you see Bobby the day he disappeared?"

"Okay fine, he asked to see me. So I stopped by at the Youth Center after closing. For like five minutes but when I left he was fine and well." Daniel answers.

I flex my fingers and feel a sudden wave of nausea. Apparently, rage sets off these fucking migraines, perfect. "Why the fuck did you lie to Clayton?"

"Because it wasn't important."

"Wasn't important? You were the last one to see him and you don't think that is important!" I take calming breaths "What did he want?"

"Like I said it wasn't important."

I find my hand wrapped around Daniel's throat and don't register how the hell it got there. His face is red and he is struggling against me. I slowly release my grip so he can breathe but I keep my hand where it is. "What did he want?" I repeat.

"He asked me about a kid I once knew, Xzavier." Daniel answers through a strained voice. This has my attention and I release his neck violently. He chocks for a moment before he continues. "It was ages ago. I still don't understand why Bobby wanted to know. I barely remember the kid."

"What do you remember?"

He studies me. "He was Pricilla's boyfriend." Daniel shook his head. "It was ages ago Alec."

"Wait, you knew Cassandra and Pricilla were one in the same?"

"Yes." He frowns.

"And you didn't mention this because . . .?"

"I couldn't." he answers. "It's complicated Alec."

"Then uncomplicated it!" I growl, fighting this damn migraine.

"We had a double date or two when I was with Brad. I don't remember much about him. The kid was a love sick pup. All over her. What does this have to do with anything?"

"What happened to him?"

"Nothing I guess. I don't know, he was still head over heels for her when I ended it with Brad. Seriously the kid was more annoying than anything."

"You mean he didn't come from money so you didn't give him the time of day?" I bark.

"I was a prick in my twenties Alec. I won't deny that."

"You still can be."

"We all reserve the talent." He retorts. "Man, Bobby asked me the same damn questions and then he left saying he was late for dinner with you. Then Clayton started prodding." Daniel studies me. "Seriously Master Alec, what is going on? Why is this kid suddenly so important?"

"Because he disappeared and Bobby has been looking for him for decades." I answer, honestly, careful to leave out the blood relation.

"You mean Xzavier is to Bobby as Owen is to you?" Daniel responds in understanding. I don't reply. "Had I known, I could have helped. I would have asked Brad before he ... But no one is ever honest enough for me to help."

"Don't get all bratty on me Kingsley, I am in no mood." I warn. "I didn't know about Xzavier until a few days ago and I shared my entire existence with Bobby."

"You think his probing got him in trouble?"

"You tell me. You were the last one to see him." I respond coldly. "You see my dilemma Kingsley."

"You don't trust me enough to believe I didn't do anything!" Daniel realizes.

I shake my head is absolute disbelief. "I swear to you Daniel, if something happened to him and you could have stopped it had you not lied yesterday. I will kill you slowly, bring you back and kill you all over again!"

"I left him unharmed!" Daniel retorts.

"And the question remains, what happened to him between the Youth Center and the hospital."

"Unbelievable." Daniel mutters. "You are going to pin this on me no matter what. You want me out of Clayton's life and I gave you the perfect fucking reason to get your way."

"What is unbelievable is you have had two encounters with the Quattro and were oblivious to each and every one of them. Brad was your fucking boyfriend and Ethan was someone who worked for you."

"You are forgetting about yourself." I seethes. "You worked for me too."

"You remember?" I ask, surprised.

"So what? It was ages ago, you never mentioned it. It had nothing to do with anything." He runs his hands through his hair, "I haven't done anything wrong. If there is nothing else."

"Yeah there is." I reply coldly, "I want to know who the hell is protecting you." I reply, causing him to falter and sit back down. _Nail. Head._ "Thought so. No way the Quattro has been that close all this time and you just skate by. Not without something in your past. Why couldn't you tell us Pricilla's real identity? Spill Kingsley are whatever relation you are attempting to salvage with Clayton is done."

"You realize you are asking me to risk lives." He replies coldly.

"Fine protect whoever you want. Pack your shit and get the fuck out of this town. Don't you ever come back." I retort, barely able to see. Fuck my head hurts.

"It's Liam." Daniel responds, surprising me. "I'm not protecting him. He's protecting me."

"They guy who left you for a girl?" I ask, trying to keep up.

"Him and I had a fight, a huge one and we took a break from each other."

"There's a theme." I mutter, pinching my nose.

He ignores me and goes on. "I dated Brad when Liam and I were broken up. That is when I met Xzavier for a hot minute. But it was over and Brad took it poorly. He threatened Liam. Told him how he was going to kill me if Liam didn't back off. I didn't know what was happening until it was too late. Brad and Pricilla terrified Liam into a deal that forced Liam to marry Pricilla's best friend. I was oblivious to all of it, which is why I tried to kill myself when I read the damn wedding announcement. As you know Ben saved my life. What you don't know is Liam found out because Brad was furious. I was warned that if I ever tried that again then Liam would be sacrificed. It was then I was told of Liam's sacrifice. I begged him to run. I pleaded that we just skip town and never be heard from again. But they had a threat on Liam's family. He was trapped because he loved me enough to save me from that fucking lunatic."

"Brad's dead."

"Pricilla isn't, nor is Liam's wife. Not to mention the innocent kids." Daniel frowns. "One bad fight, lead to one poor choice of a boyfriend which in the end put Liam into slavery. Then of course there is you." He pulls on his hair. "Believe me, I carry the guilt of circumstance with me everywhere I go."

"So that is it, that is everything?" I ask.

"They went after Tasha." Daniel replies. "Travis is the cousin of Liam's wife. I wasn't going to stand for it. Not again. That is why I wanted to be in Angels of Justices so badly. And that is the main reason I ran. I knew they would come after me and I wanted to keep you guys out of it."

Fucking hell we went after a Quattro member. Why the fuck didn't Ethan tell me? "Did they?"

"Yes, Liam paid dearly for it." Daniel answered coldly. "But he understood. He considers Tasha a sister."

"And being this walking time bomb you came back to Clayton why exactly?"

"Because I love him." He responds. "And because I knew he wasn't in any danger. He is protected by your relation with the Quattro."

I glare at him, hating that he knows that. "And Isaac?"

"Daddy provides a bubble of a fantasy land that I so desperately wish I lived in."

"You're putting him at risk." I reply dryly.

"As long as I don't talk about it, no I am not. Brad is a vegatable, the concern is over." He responds. "I want Clayton, but I fear I forfeited that when I chose to run away and hide from my problems. He loves Mike."

"You should have told us."

"I'm telling you now."

"You want my advice, don't trust Isaac. Even if he is just a random guy and not put in your life by the Quattro, he is playing with your vulnerabilities and that makes him untrustworthy in my eyes. Friend to friend."

"For being neutral you seem to support Mike over me." Daniel replies.

"Mike has never lied to me, or Clayton." I respond evenly.

"Like you, it's not something I was allowed to broadcast." Daniel snaps.

"Liam's Madam should have spoken with Ethan." I counter. "That is how this should have been handled."

"You expect me to trust Ethan when it took so damn long to trust you?"

My head is hurting so badly at this point it will be a miracle can stand. "You need to tell Clayton about Liam. Or I will. It will be better coming from you. You also need to tell him about Bobby."

"And you? Are you going to tell Ethan?"

"You know I don't have a choice." I respond harshly. I rub my forehead, "I'm calling Deteve Cole, telling him that we have more information about Bobby. Don't expect me to feel sorry for your ass if he hauls you in for obstruction of justice. You are lucky to be leaving here intact." I growl, pissed. "I mean it Kingsley if your silence got him hurt, you will see what Angels of Justices is all about." I shake my head. "Get out." I walk away not bothering to see him leave. Heading down the stairs of my basement I find myself satisfied for the first time, that I finally understand the workings of Daniel Kingsley.


	23. Reactions

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Reactions**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

You know when you think things just couldn't possibly go anymore wrong and you think it is about damn time something goes right. And then something happens and it is the furthest from going right it could get. Yeah I am having one of those moments right now. Staring across my desk at my best friend. Trying to understand reason behind what he just said.

"You are telling me Daniel seen Bobby the day he disappeared?" I repeat, trying to get my mind to accept it.

"Yes."

"He lied to everyone about this because?"

"You need to hear what he had to say." Alec replies on the other end of the line.

"What did he have to say?" I ask, curious.

"He's been lying to us Clayton, but not the way you might think. I am having his story verified. I just, believe him."

"What story?"

"His to tell Angel." He whispers. "Just remember I am by your side, no one else's." He hangs up, leaving me with that cryptic news. I put my head on my desk. Seriously, something needs to give.

Zach buzzes in the moment my phone call is ended, but I am in no mood to take calls, so I ignore it. Sitting at my desk wishing for a simpler life. The buzzing finally stops only to have Zach walk in. He takes a step back when he sees the look on my face. "I am sorry boss but Lilly is here."

I rub my face with my hands and nod. Zach disappears and I not much later I find Lilly occupying the chair on the other side of my desk. "You look like shit Clay." She frowns.

"Had better days." I mutter. "What do I owe the pleasure Lilly? It feels like ages since we got to see each other."

She studies me and then smiles. "I have something I want you to listen to. I like it but I don't and I can't figure out if I should spend my time on it or not."

"You obviously want to or you wouldn't be here. Unless this is an excuse to check up on me?" I accuse narrowing my eyes.

"Little bit of both handsome." She smiles. "You lost your mom Clay, let me worry about you a little okay. And music calms you, remember."

"You have no idea how much I need that today." I smile at her.

"Good thing you own this big entertainment company with fancy state of the art equipment then. Come on, let's go figure this out." She smiles getting up.

And there was the good I so desperately needed. Lilly and I spent most the day on that sound. Zach came in with some paperwork here and there and did very well not to fangirl all over Lilly. I was so impressed with his professionalism around her that I asked him to play his sound for the both of us. He was a bit nervous at first but the moment that man started to sing I knew for sure he was a wasted talent as my assistant. Fucking shame on one hand, but there was no way I was going to hide him from the world.

"Clay, I think we found our new opener." Lilly smiles at me.

"Damnit Lilly that means I have to find a new assistant." I bitch with a smile on my face.

"Oh Clay." She laughs with a head shake, patting me on the back.

Zach was elated when Lilly offered the opportunity for an opener. He only hesitated because he wanted to make sure I was okay with it. When I assured him I was he asked how I would feel if his wife worked for me while I found a replacement. Seeing as it meant less interviews on my part I was happy to take him up on the offer.

After work I went to Rachel's where Daniel and I had our first couples consoling. I will not deny that this brought my anxiety back. He was calmer today, talked more than he has in months. I listened but I am just not ready to forgive him. Plus I know he is lying to me about something and I don't want to ask him in front of Rachel. My annoyance increases tenfold when we are assigned homework but I didn't bitch about it out loud.

When the session was over I found myself alone with him outside of Rachel's house. "Thanks for coming Clayton. I know this isn't easy."

"Not in the slightest." I admit.

He takes my hands. "I fucked up big time. I know that. I swear to you I am going to be a better man, one you deserve." He tries to kiss me but I turn away. "Clayton please." He whispers.

I take a step back. "What did you tell Alec?"

"He didn't tell you?" Daniel asks surprised.

"Tell me what?"

He leans against his car and proceeds to tell me about his life when he was with Liam. How he met Brad, Pricilla and Xzavier. How Brad was a psycho path even back then and the cost Liam paid for it. He told me how ever since he has been watched by the Quattro but left alone. He explained the underline cause as to why he ran away after Angels of Justices saved his sister. How even after Brad's death he fears for Liam and his kids. All the way to the day of Bobby's disappearance and how he was the last one to see him.

"You lied to me." I whisper, absorbing blow after blow. "For years."

"I didn't have a choice Clayton. Please, Alec has lied to you for the same reasons and he is in your life."

"Alec and I aren't lovers." I retort, my eyes flashing.

He drops to his knees in front of my wheelchair, his eyes closed. "Please don't hate me for things out of my control. My feelings for you have always been real." He takes my hands. "Please Clayton, I love you."

"Do you love Isaac?" I ask, freeing my hands.

"I love the fantasy world of Isaac." He admits.

"He has no idea how you feel does he?" I ask annoyed.

"Some. He didn't take it very well but he is respecting that at this point I have a choice to make." He answers.

"If you want him over me Daniel, then this is a waste of time for both of us." I counter.

"I don't. But I am unsure you want me." He replies. "Or rather, if you are able to forgive me."

"The moment I can answer that, I will let you know." I reply heading to my car where my driver is waiting, not looking back. Wondering how the hell my life got so damn complicated.

When I get home I find Mike sitting in my living room butt ass naked. I stare at him for the longest time and he simply stares back. Finally he breaks the silence. "Heard you had a good day at the office."

"I did." I respond not moving. "You are not making this easy Mike." I finally respond tossing my keys on the counter.

"I don't follow." He frowns.

"The day I had wasn't good." I admit. "Get dressed Mike, before I strip down right here and fuck you until dawn."

"I have no quarrels with that." He smiles wickedly.

"And when we parted at dawn I would still be lost as to what I want because I know you and I are amazing in bed. I know you and I make a great team at work. But in a relationship without sex, that . . . that is what I need to know."

"You on some sort of deadline?" he asks.

"No but I need to be fair to myself just as much as I need to be fair to both of you." I reply dryly.

"Start at dawn Clay." He smiles, walking up to me, undoing my tie and unbuttoning my collar. "For now, get lost in the physical and forget how to think." I try to protest but his lips are on that spot on my neck only he can find that weakens me so. I gasp when I feel him start to suck and my hands tangle into the short hairs of his head when his teeth sink into my skin.

"Mike my meds." I complain, pulling away.

"Got a solution for that." He whispers, holding up a bottle of blue pills.

"I'm not supposed to mix." I bitch.

"Actually I spoke to a doctor. Apparently, as long as you take them occasionally it won't hurt." He moans, shaking the pills as he nibbles my neck. I don't need to be told twice and I swallow two pills before kissing him senseless.

After a rather intense make out session, he rubs my rock hard dick through my pants and I moan when he squeezes. His teeth leave my neck and he bites my earlobe. "I am going to make your entire body so damn sore you will feel me for a week."

"Promise?" I gasp, feeling my belt getting ripped from my body and my shirt busting open with one strong pull from his capable hands. Gently I kick off my shoes. I lift up so he can remove my pants and socks. He lifts my willing body from that stupid fucking chair and takes me straight to the bed. For a moment I think about protesting but instead I kiss him, bringing him into me. He breaks away and I find my wrists pinned to the mattress as his more than talented mouth sucks and licks on my throbbing dick and swollen balls. Within minutes he is swallowing my cum.

Before I could fully recover from the intense as hell orgasm I find my mouth stuffed with his throbbing flesh and feel his wonderful mouth surrounding my now tender cock. There is no protesting as we roll to our sides and work each other to bliss. While I am swallowing the most amazing taste I feel his teeth on the very inner thighs of my legs, willfully accepting his marks just below my sac on both sides. "Fucking hell Mike."

He just laughs, flips me over and spreads my legs wide. I feel his warm tongue probe deep inside me, brushing against my prostate. I push into his face in bliss. Having two orgasms in a row and still not stopping to even catch my breath is beyond intense. He has me moaning and cursing almost immediately. I jump when I feel his lubed hand on my cock stroking me while he continues to pleasure my ass with his tongue. He turns me into a moaning mess and I try to stop him stroking my hard, tender cock by trapping his hand between me in the mattress. He responds by sliding his lubed fingers in my ass and teasing my prostate.

"I'm not stopping until I cum again Clay." He warns, making me squirm and moan.

"Fuck." I bitch aching in pleasurable pain.

"Beg for my cock Clay, beg to have me deep inside of you."

I resist at first, grabbing the sheets. He responds by stretching me with a second finger and teases me while his lips land on my upper thigh right below the curve of my ass. I cry out when he bites down, involuntarily kicking but he was prepared and very cautious that my feet wouldn't hit him. He picks up the pace and I moan feeling him switch legs. Gasping I squeeze the sheet tighter when I feel a third finger get slipped in the moment he clinches his teeth. Realizing he seriously isn't going to stop until he gets what he wants and knowing I am not going to be able to take this forever I cave, "Fuck Mike please, bury your dick in me!"

I feel his fingers leave my body and I whimper, my body falling limp onto the mattress. He doesn't give me time to enjoy the rest though as he grabs my hips and places me on my knees. "Just a little bit of pain tonight baby." He whispers, running a finger down my spin. "Get my dick wet with your mouth, that is all the lube you will get." I keep my ass in the air and turn toward his approaching cock. I suck on him for a few moments allowing myself to chock on his flesh to give the maximum amount of saliva possible. When he leaves he is dripping. He arranges himself and pushes just the tip of his beautiful cock in my ass. He holds my hips steady to keep me from burying him deeper. "Take control and we start over. No more lubrication." He warns. I hiss, the lube from his fingers are helping but this is burning like a son of a bitch. Slowly he teases his way in until finally he is ball deep. He stills himself until my body accepts him and the intense burning finally decreases.

Mike reaches around to find my spent dick hard as a rock. I can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks, "Thought that might keep you interested." I curse when he starts to stroke me. "You first he whispers kissing my back as he slowly starts to pump himself in and out of my body.

It takes ages for a third orgasm, especially since hand jobs are by far my least favorite way to cum. When I finally do there isn't much there. He is pleased when I fall limp and I cry out when he speeds up his rhythm to find his orgasm. My eyes are watering in pain when I finally feel his load spill into my ass. He collapses on top of me, searching for his breath. When he pulls out he rolls off of me and we both stare at the ceiling, gasping.

Eventually my heartbeat falls into regular rhythm and I sit up to examine my feet. "Did I hurt them?" he asks genuinely concerned.

"No, but they do need changing. Mind getting my kit?" I ask as I start taking the bandages off.

"Let me do that." He offers but I brush him away. He gives me a strange look but leaves me to it while he gets my kit. "Can I at least bandage them back up?" He asks, oddly timid considering how demanding he just was. "You always say it hurts less when you allow others to do it for you."

"It does." I admit. "They need some air." I decide pushing my feet away from me.

"Zach told me you seemed upset after Alec called you today." Mike responds.

"He's staying here tonight." I suddenly remember. Alec had texted me to tell me Ethan wasn't staying at his house and asked if he could crash at my place. I was more than okay with that.

"What is going on Clay? Is he in danger?" Mike asks, sitting on the bed.

"Not him." I assure him. "It's nothing, promise."

"Don't promise when you lie to me." He glares.

"Daniel got caught in a lie." I reply. "Alec was warning me before I seen him at therapy today."

"I see." Mike frowns. "This have anything to do with Bobby?"

"Yes." I answer truthfully. "Daniel met Xzavier once. Bobby was trying to figure out if Daniel knew anything else."

"That it?"

"Daniel hunted down the Angels of Justice because of his past. He managed to get tangled up in the Quattro once upon a time when he dated Brad. Daniel is protected because of someone in his past. Just like I am because of Alec."

Mike studies me for the longest time. "How does all of this make you feel?"

"He lied. It's over between him and I. He could have told me he was forced to hide something but he didn't. Plus he didn't admit to anyone he was the last to see Bobby until we confronted him! I am just too angry to end it. I want to do it when I am calm so he knows I mean it." I meet his eyes. "I meant what I said, I want to be fair to you and date you. I need to be sure Mike." My stomach growls loudly. "Fuck, I'm starving but I don't know if I can eat."

"Let's try, okay?" he smiles. "Chinese?"

I cringe at the idea of that. "I was thinking something more of the lines of soup to be honest."

Mike gives me a concerned look but heads off to the kitchen. I have no idea how long he was gone, I just know I closed my eyes for a moment. "You only had tomato." He frowns.

"I like tomato." I smile. "Are there crackers?" He hands me a pack and munches down on a sandwich he made for himself. "I am serious about dating you." I remind him, blowing on the hot soup.

"Thank you for today, but we are keeping these meds recreational. I won't risk these graphs being rejected and I enjoy dating you."

"So why did I come home to a naked you anyway?" I ask skeptical.

"Because Lilly is worried sick and begged me to fuck you senseless." I laugh and almost chock on my soup. "The girl knows you." He shrugs.

"She does." I admit, "But I want you to be more than a fuck buddy. Which is why I am being an ass about this with you. Sex is sex to me Mike. You know that, no matter how good it is. You have seen me burn through so many fucking guys. But if you want something genuine with me, then you have to know I need emotional connections that are not work related."

"It's hard to trust you after the way we ended it the first time." He admits, finishing his sandwich.

I stare at him, before I put my barely touched soup on my nightstand and decide that if I am going to do this right, honesty is the only way to go. "I didn't want it to be over between us. I can't explain to you why I did it. Fear is on the list though. You and I have a chemistry that is so damn awesome it scares me."

"You were sacred so you ran?"

"No." I shake my head. "Daniel left after something happened with Angels of Justice. No explanation, no goodbyes. He just ended everything. When I saw him again, all those feelings…he didn't end us because of us. And that is why I went back. I needed to know if him and I were over or just bruised from something out of our control." I take his hands. "Mike if you can't trust me I understand. I hurt you. And Sean hasn't."

"Daniel is really out of the picture?" he asks.

"Yes. I promise." I lick my lips. "But I understand that this thing we are doing, it isn't just about you fighting for me. I have to fight for you too. I want you happy Mike, with or without me."

"You want me happy?" he asks looking at me skeptically.

"Yes."

"You want to fight for me? You want my heart?"

"Of course I do."

He breaks out into a huge smile, leaning toward my lips. "Clay, you just earned it."


	24. Brad's Last Revenge

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Brad's Last Revenge**

 **Alec's Point of View**

I am surprised at the request Ethan made this afternoon. He wanted me at his place. I haven't gone there since before the attack. When I arrive I wave to Clayton's annoying security and make my way to Ethan's apartment door.

"Come in." Ethan calls the moment I knock on his door.

I smile walking into his home, closing the door and kissing him breathless. I pull back after some time. "Anything?"

"Earn it and find out, slave." He growls.

I pull away, my thoughts more on Bobby than on serving my Sir. He notices my struggle and I quickly find myself pressed into a wall, barely able to breathe due to Ethan's forearm being dug into my throat. "Concentrate. You are with me. I suggest you block him out of your mind and treat me with the respect you have always given me or I swear Alec a lifetime of headaches will be the least of your damn worries."

Surprised, concerned and angry, I fight back; grabbing him by the throat and rolling him into the wall causing a few picture frames to crash to the floor. "What the hell is wrong Ethan?"

"It's Sir!" he growls, struggling to breathe.

I stare at him while his face turns red before I finally allow him to breathe. Suddenly panicked, I fall to my kneels, keeping eye contact. "Sir Ethan? Is Bobby dead?"

"Block it out!" He growls. Then he grabs my hair, his eyes soft. "You know just as much as I do when it comes to Bobby." He releases my hair and his eyes harden.

I strip myself of my clothes right then and there then I free his cock. He resists me pulling down his pants so I work with what he does allows. He demands my wrists and pins them behind my head. It takes almost a damn hour to get him off with my mouth but it has always proven a challenge to get him off standing up. When I am finished I swallow, kiss the tip of his cock and thank him.

He orders me to stay and steps away. When he returns he gags me then puts a hood over my head, thus blinding me from the outside world. He guides me to his bed, ties my hands to the head board and proceeds to be extremely gentle. This is far from normal behavior and I am concerned but he doesn't stop until he gets me to cum from his talented mouth. But even then he only unties me from the bed, keeping my wrists bound together as he fucks me hard in the ass. Eventually he finishes and I lie in that bed confused at his mood and treatment.

He unbinds my wrist and slowly removes my hood. When he does his behavior suddenly makes sense. His entire body is covered in lash marks from multiple canes and whips. "Ethan." I gasp, reaching to touch but keeping my fingertips inches away.

"Hush slave, it's okay." He whispers.

"Who did this to you?" I ask truly concerned. "Why?"

"The way they see it, you did my pet." I drop my arm alarmed. "Brad died of pneumonia this morning. Pricilla blames you, thus I was punished."

"You were punished?" I ask, astonished. "She is in a world trouble and still managed to punish you?"

"She still has power Alec." Ethan reminds me. "Que agrees that you needed to be punished, not killed."

"So they harm you?" I reply angry. "You didn't lay a hand on Brad!"

"Que allowed me to take your place, a beating like this when your body was attacked with such a harsh poison." He shakes his head, "Lance, Que and I were concerned you wouldn't survive. But Pricilla and Sebastien wanted your blood, called it poetic justice if you died." His eyes harden. "I reminded Que that she nearly killed Clayton, a protected. So a deal was struck and I was able to protect you by offering to take your place."

"Sir." I frown.

"No, I deserved it Alec." He responds. "I am after all guilty of not controlling you."

"I didn't kill him!" I snap, aggravated.

"No, and that saved your life. But your actions eventually lead to his death and thus the punishment stood."

"Thank you." I whisper, barely tracing his bruises with my fingertips. I drop my hand and look at him. "What is going to happen to her?"

"That is up to Que." Ethan gently moves to lay on his side next to me, tracing my ab muscles lightly while he talks.

"So not much then."

"I didn't say that." Ethan corrects. "Do you remember all those time Lance tortured you for no reason what so ever?"

"How can I forget?"

"Guess who taught him all he knows." Ethan answers, his eyes flashing. "And she gave him a reason to torture her. Plus he denied her access to Brad's wake and funeral."

"Do you hate me for what I did to Brad?" I ask. "You are after all related in some fashion."

"I would have if you would have actually killed him." He responds, lifting his hands from my skin. "But you know that and have been properly punished." He kisses my hand. "I do not blame you for the pneumonia. I do wish you would have followed orders and simply left him alone. Que would have taken care of it on his own and none of this would be happening right now."

"You honestly believe that?"

"I don't know what I believe anymore."

"I'm sorry." He doesn't respond. He didn't need to say anything, his eyes told me what he was feeling. "Have you told them about Daniel? Xzavier?"

"No. I was a little busy."

"What if Xzavier is connected to your family somehow Ethan? He's basically a brother I never met."

"Be careful who you call family Alec." Ethan whispers, "Especially when it comes to strangers." I look at him in surprise, but his eyes are truly guarded. "You need to go."

"Must I?" I question, not liking this sudden coldness from him.

"I'm sorry but yes."

"Are they going to hurt you again?"

"No." he promises. "Now go." He kisses me lightly on the lips and leaves me alone.

Reluctantly I dress and leave Ethan's home. On my way to Clayton's I try to feel bad about Brad's death but I can't make myself. Giving up quickly I think of Bobby, praying to the heavens he is safe and will come back to me soon. When I arrive in the driveway I find Daniel sitting in his car parked across the street. I frown when I look around and realize Mike's car is parked two cars from him. Sighing I walk to Daniel's window and knock. "You are torturing yourself."

"Yep." He answers.

"Thought you would be with Isaac."

"Not on nights I see Clayton." He sighs. "I was hoping for a date after our meeting but he didn't invite me so I came to see and guess what I find."

"Jealousy is only going to hinder this situation." I warn.

"What do I do Alec? How do I fix this?"

"I don't know if you can. I am honestly surprised he is trying to let you." I admit.

"Me to." He agrees.

"Does he know everything?"

"Yes." Daniel frowns. "He wasn't happy. He just needs time. I didn't lie to him because I wanted to."

"It just made it harder Daniel."

"I'm not giving up." Daniel replies, tears in his eyes.

"Well sitting here all night is not going to help. Why don't you go and make plans for the two of you or something. Keep your mind occupied. And get him out of his house. He needs to do shit that doesn't revolve around work and sitting at home. The man needs a life and you need to show him how he can still experience life, despite being in a wheelchair."

"Thought you were on Mike's side." He bitches.

"I'm on Clayton's side." I remind him. "You want him then man the fuck up or get the fuck out of his life and stop fucking with both of your heads." I bitch walking away from his car and heading for the house.

I use my key and find Mike slipping on some boxers, ignoring his half naked form I walk past him. I walk up to Clayton and stare. The man is only wearing gym shorts and he is riddled in hickey's. Annoyed I turn on Mike. "Fucking childish display you realize that right! You want him, we get that. You don't need to go marking your territory like a fucking dog. And don't go saying you are bitters and that is the way it is. You have always left marks but this is beyond sexually necessary. If Clayton choses to get naked with Daniel that is Clayton's choice and he doesn't need a fight with Daniel because of your insecurities. Knock it the fuck off!"

Mike is so dumbfounded by my speech he doesn't say a word. Clayton on the other hand seems annoyed. "You done?"

"Yes." I answer sitting down next to him.

"To be fair, Mike will look worse than me by the end of the night." Clayton shrugs. "Childish as that may sound to you." I shake my head but say nothing. "Ethan give you anything fruitful?"

"Kinda."

"And?" he asks waiting.

"Cassandra or Pricilla whatever her name is, might not be much of a threat to us anymore. One less thing to be paranoid about. You can call off your dogs."

"Not until Bobby is found." Clayton argues.

"I am going to bed. I have a big day at the center. The kids are really upset about Bobby's disappearance and I need to be there for them. Which means I need sleep." Annoyed with the day in general I get up before he can argue, head straight for bed, wishing I knew where Bobby was sleeping tonight.


	25. Darkest Revenge

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Darkest Revenge**

 **Alec's Point of View**

Fuck I slept like shit, tossing and turning all night. I want my bed, I want Bobby in my arms, I want peace. My life is so fucking fucked it is a wonder I am still functioning. I need solace. I thought I could find it with Ethan but to see him hurt like that, because of me, fuck my stomach twists just thinking about it.

I need a distraction, a huge distraction. Deciding it is just what the doctor ordered I call up the one person in my life who knows exactly how to help me.

"You realize I haven't had my coffee yet." She whines.

"You shouldn't be drinking coffee, bad for the baby." I smile, visualizing her eye roll from here.

"Levi tried to pull that shit then realized he wanted to still be married to the kid's mom when they enter this world." I let out a sincere laugh. "Why are you calling me this damn early?"

"I need you to take me away from here, please." I answer, my voice as raw as my emotions.

"Where do you want to go?" she asks, her concern clear in her voice.

"Somewhere where I don't have to think." I reply, feeling tears slip out of my eyes and onto my pillow.

"Okay." She replies. "Mind if we do this tomorrow or do you need it to be today?"

"Tomorrow is fine." I reply, trying to mask my disappointment.

"How about you and I go on a small road trip. You meet me at Darkest Desires say around six o'clock, we will get into my car and I won't bring you home until Sunday."

"Yeah, okay." I reply, wiping away my tears. "Thanks Chloe."

"Anytime, I love you."

"I love you." I smile.

"I have to go okay, see you tonight."

"Okay, send my best to everyone and take care of that baby."

"Will do." She replies, "Alec."

"Yes."

"I'm driving."

I laugh at that and we say our goodbyes. When I hang up the phone the day actually feels bearable for once. I make my way out of Clayton's house as soon as humanly possible. Ugh I hate having his sex life flaunted all over his and Mike's flesh. But at least they were respectable enough to come out of the bedroom with t-shirts on.

I make it to the center and find my kids have made several different websites and social media blogs for Bobby. The effort damn near brought me to tears. I ended up spending most of the day talking to my kids. It felt nice concentrating on their problems instead of mine, though I did have to insist with a few of them that I wanted the normal as much as possible. Levi and Kyle showed up to help me with lunch. I tried to get them to join up for a basketball game but they had to get back. Apparently Chloe was on some kick about sterilizing everything and everyone was tasked into helping clean Darkest Desires. She decided to do this while her and I were away so not to harm the baby with chemical smells and closed the place for the next three days. If I didn't know better it was almost as if she was expecting me to call and ask to run away for a while. Either way I am sure I only got out of helping because of Bobby missing. I doubt that will last though, the moment Bobby shows back up I am sure him and I will have a list waiting for us.

I smile at that. The simple idea of dreading a to do list. Fuck life used to be so simple. I find myself pretty much alone right before closing. I don't mind, it gives me time to straighten up and what not. The last few kids head out, I process a few urgent reports for Mike and set on my way to my house. I hadn't told Clayton that I was going away, nor have I informed Ethan. Ugh, I really don't care to but I know better not to. Fuck it, I will call them both on the road when they can't do shit about it. Liking this idea I make my way to my house alone just to grab some things before I head to Darkest Desires.

With my bags packed, my gas tank full, and my car filled with travel munchies that are healthy for Chloe and the baby I make my way to Darkest Desires. Seeing how the place is closed I am not at all surprised to see only Levi's truck, Kyle's Jeep and Rachel's SUV in the parking lot. I park next to them and get out. Smiling to myself, wondering where Chloe was planning on taking us. I smile all the way to the front door, fuck it feels good to smile. But the moment I turn that knob and open it, my heart damn near stops in my chest. The door creaks open and I realize everything is seriously wrong.

The smell of iron hits my nostrils striking pure fear in my very soul. It is eerily quiet. My body freezes at the image before me. I swallow back vomit as my mind attempts to process the reality in front of me. Blood is dripping down Rachel's hanged body. The thick rope creaking from her weight as her lifeless corpse sways from the protesting chandler that is holding up by one, maybe two screws. Her hands are bound behind her. She is covered in stab wounds, obviously tortured before she was killed.

My head eventually processes the danger and is screaming at my body to move. When I do I rush to Chloe's office. The door is wide open and the place is trashed. My eyes rest on a sledge hammer that caused the state of the art equipment to meet its doom. "Chloe." I cry, vomiting all over the floor. I manage to get control of myself and start to search for her and the rest of my friends.

I run down to the basement where the private areas are. The first door I open reveals Kyle's limp form in the center of more blood than I realized a human body could hold. His face is so damn bruised I almost didn't recognize him. His hands had fingers missing, his chest had gabbing wounds. But none of that killed him, he survived all of that only to have his throat slit wide open. "No." I gasp in denial backing up. My stomach twists in pain to the scene of one of my lovers murdered and I vomit again, crying. _Alec get the hell out of here!_ Glory screams in my head.

"No, Chloe!" I force myself to go through each and every room, finding nothing. Half relieved, half panicked I pull out my phone trying to reach Chloe. No answer. I curse as I make my way back to the first level and search every room, finding nothing. I run up to the second level and start checking those areas as well. There are no doors on this level but behind the curtain in the bathroom I find the worst scene of all. Levi's limp form is bound to a chair. His dominate arm is unbound and a gun is next to him. "Levi?" I question touching his face to find he had a gunshot wound through the sight of his temple. "NO! NO! Baby, WHY?" I ask, tears streaming down my face as I drop down at his feet.

In agony I turn to the bathtub and discover Chloe's pregnant form submerged in blood stained water. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream pulling her cold body out. I try pumping her heart and lungs fruitlessly in pure denial. This can't be happening. None of this can fucking be happening. "Wake up Alec!" I scream at myself. But that is the worst part. I am awake and one of my best friends in lying in a bathtub with slit wrists and multiple stab wounds. _What fucking monster would do this?_ _Alec you have to get out of there! What if they are still here?_ Glory shouts in my brain. But my feet don't move. I turn to Levi's limp body. "Who did this?! Who the fuck is going to pay with their damn lives!" But he has no answers. That is when I notice he is the only person who doesn't have any evidence of physical torture. His cheeks are stained with tears. "They made you watch them kill your wife and unborn child." I realize. "YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING PAY! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" I scream out in pure agony.

I can't tell you how long it was before I regained my composure. I know I tried to vomit again but my stomach was empty. My voice is horse, my heart simply broken. Logic kicks in and I reach for my phone to call for help. When I hang up the smell of smoke hits me. I run to the balcony to determine the source. That is when I see it. Drawn in Rachel's blood was the symbol I had never seen before, drawn on the hardwood floor. Unsure what it was I take a picture of the artist 'D'. My eyes widen in fear and I shot off a quick text.

 _Darkest Desires has been attacked. Grab everyone, get into a public place. Trust no one!_

 _~ Grand Master Alec_

I send this off to Clayton, Daniel, Mike, Ben, Amber, even Ethan and Bobby. I don't want anyone harmed. I send a separate text to Clayton, Ethan and Bobby with the photo attached.

 _Code Black_

I pocket my phone and my mind catches up with the situation before me. "That wasn't there when I walked in." I whisper. I look for foot prints away from it but there aren't any, not even mine and had it been there when I walked it, my footprints would be there. "Fucking hell I am not alone. The killer is here." I gasp. _Alec, RUN!_ Glory screams and this time I listen.

My feet fly down the stairs but I am caught off guard at how fast and hot the fire that is blocking my path really is. The smoke is thickening and my lungs are burning. Through stinging eyes I realize I can't get out the front door. I start coughing and I put my arm around my mouth trying to filter the smoke. I look for another exit but everything is blocked except the basement door. I managed to get down the stairs and into the basement. The smoke is stronger here but as I make my way past the room I found Kyle it starts to thin out.

My eyes are burning and my eyes see a face I have long since considered only a memory. For a moment I believe it is but he is slightly taller, his face is younger. "Bobby?" I cough, unable to stand upright any longer. "Bobby!" I call out, my eyes burning. My mind is looking for an exit but there isn't one. My body is failing. I realize with complete clarity that I am going to die. I close my stinging eyes, "Bobby." I whisper, looking at the man I love, but in a burning building anymore. He smiles, stretching out his hand. Confused, I shake my head opening my eyes, trying desperately to fight off the inedible. The man is now standing above me, most his face covered in a breathing mask. I can barely see his eyes through the smoke, "Bobby, my love, you came back." My lungs are painfully protesting against the burning ash, looking for oxygen that isn't there. My body collapses where I stand. Painfully suffocating I close my eyes against the unbearable heat. The fire is gone again. I am laying in a white room, but I am not alone. Bobby's eyes meet mine, I reach out of his outstretched hand, hesitating only for a moment. Instantly the smoke is back. With one last painful breath I nod my head in acceptance and return to the white room. I reach out for Bobby's outstretched hand and close my fingers around his. Instantly the pain is gone.


	26. Code Black

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Code Black**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

Never in my life did I ever dream that I would ever read a code Black. The moment I seen it I put Blackboard Entertainment on lock down. Mike was the first to come into my office confused. I simply said the word "Black" and he ran out, helping everyone and everything. I texted Alec furiously but he wasn't responding.

I looked at the picture again and realized it was red, blood read. He stated that Darkest Desires had been attacked. Before I could swipe to my phonebook Ethan is calling me.

"Clayton where are you?"

"Work. Why?"

"There are things you don't know. Things Alec doesn't know." Ethan frowns. "He was right to tell you to get to a public place. Your life is in danger, everyone's is."

"Ethan?"

"I can't talk, not on the phone. This is bad Clayton. Very bad."

"Where are you?"

"I am going to Darkest Desires, I need to protect Alec."

"Ethan."

"Call everyone, make sure they are safe Clayton." Ethan responds hanging up.

"Fuck!" I curse out loud calling Daniel.

"Hey what is this shit about being in public?" Daniel asks in a yawn.

"Daniel, this isn't Alec being paranoid. Something is very wrong." I warn him in a tone I rarely use.

"Clayton?"

"Make sure everyone is safe Daniel. This is life and death."

"Okay officially freaked out now."

"I will tell you more when I know it." I reply seeing Mike walk back into my office. "Seriously, your friends, your family, get them safe."

"Clayton?"

"I have to call my dad." I respond hanging up rather abruptly, my eyes piercing into Mike. "I know we can't stay in lock down forever but you need to send out a company wide e-mail explaining there has been a threat to Blackboard Entertainment and it's employees. Make whatever you have to up. Let Detective Cole know that his boss is going to have to deal with some shit. I want my employees and their families and friends safe. That includes yours."

"Boss?"

"Mike I think someone is seriously hurt and Alec isn't answering his phone. Ethan is on his way to Darkest Desires. Something doesn't feel right. Something is wrong."

"What makes you think someone is hurt?"

"Alec sent a code Black." I frown handing him my phone.

Mike takes it, looks at the mark for a very long moment and then looks at me. "Clay, The Dolore. That is their mark of death!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Seriously?" Mike asks, passing my phone back to me. "You never heard of them?"

"No."

"Then the Angles are more protected by The Quattro than I realized."

"Wait, protected?"

"There is no way a known slave, free or otherwise goes after The Dolore and lives to tell about it for as many times as Alec and you guys have. You are telling me you don't realize your own fame?"

"Apparently not." I frown.

"Fuck Clay, I thought you knew."

"Who exactly are The Dolore?"

"The worst of the worst. The Quattro's number one enemy. They are ruthless."

"Exactly how ruthless? And how do you know this?"

"Very ruthless." Mike answers seriously. "I thought everyone knew this. There is some hushed talk at Darkest Desires, but it isn't the only place I go. Mostly the underground is where you hear most the whispers."

"I see."

"Clay, these guys are dangerous, deadly dangerous." I meet his eyes. "Where is Alec? Have you talked to him since he sent this?"

"Send the e-mail Mike, I need to get this place out of lock down. I need to get to Darkest Desires."

"Clay."

"It's Boss." I snap.

"I'll go straight to legal to get an e-mail sent. I will do my best to have us out of here within the hour."

"Good that is all." I reply.

Mike walks out of my office and I call my dad. I beg him to go out tonight and after my insistence he promises me he is leaving. He asks me a million questions that I can't answer truthfully so I tell him that I am and those connected with my company are being targeted. He accepts the explanation and goes to a community center function just to appease me.

I am a nervous wreck waiting for that damn e-mail. I can't stop staring at my phone. Finally Ethan calls me. "Clayton, you need to get to the hospital. Alec is alive but he's inhaled a lot of smoke."

"And the others? Who's blood was that Ethan?"

"They're here. I'll explain everything when you arrive. Just come alone and if you can't do that bring someone you trust, preferably not Daniel."

"You have a problem with Daniel?"

"He cheated on you and lied about it. Why would you trust him?" Ethan replies a bit harshly.

"I didn't realize it was your business."

"Everything to do with Alec is my business. Get to the hospital Clayton, he needs you."

I hang up the phone frustrated. I text Mike a hundred damn times before that e-mail comes through. Finally my building is in running business order though most the staff choses to call it a day with full pay. I being one of them. I take Mike to the hospital with me. Mainly because I need to monitor damage control with work.

When I get there Ethan pulls us aside. "You trust him with your life?"

"I do." I respond without blinking. "He knows who did this." Ethan raises an eyebrow and turns to Mike.

"I have been around in this community for a long time, people trust me." Mike relies with a sight shrug.

"You realize how serious this is then?"

"Yeah."

"Where are the others?" I interrupt. "You said they were here."

"Technically they are." Ethan answers looking a little too serious.

"Technically?"

"I'm sorry Clayton but Rachel, Kyle, Chloe and Levi are dead."

"Dead?" I shake my head in denial. "Fucking hell Ethan that isn't funny."

"Clay." Mike responds, looking just as upset as I am but in a lot less denial.

I lose my ability to stand. I didn't know these guys all that well but they were still friends of Alec's. My heart burns in my chest but I ignore the pain, now is not the time. "Chloe was pregnant."

"I'm sorry." Ethan replies, sitting down next to me.

"She was one of the most paranoid people I ever met. How did they get to her?"

"I don't know." Ethan answers.

Mike stares at Ethan, "Why kill the four of them and let Alec live?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, staring at my hands.

"I mean that was a Dolore Death mark, if they were after the Master's of Darkest Desires they should have killed Alec not to mention Clayton is in danger."

"Both of them are protected by my family." Ethan answers. "The others weren't."

"Levi was supposed to be." I argue.

"Levi committed suicide." Ethan informs me, causing me to snap my head in his direction. "He was forced to watch his pregnant wife die inches away from him. He couldn't handle it." Ethan explains.

"Excuse me." Mike replies getting up and walking away.

"Where is he going?"

"He's Levi's submissive." I reply.

"Fuck."

"So this was an attack by someone who respects The Quattro?"

"No, this was a damn message from our worst enemy." Ethan answers angrily. "We have been in a cold war for a very long time Clayton. Still, this makes no sense, we need information. We need to why."

"No, we need the who. And if Alec doesn't kill him with his bare hands, I will." I reply angrily. "I want to see him. Now."

"We will get the answers Clayton, I assure you. No one fucks with my Alec like this and lives long." Ethan replies in a voice that gives me chills. He stands up and heads down the hall. I see Mike come out of the bathroom and he takes my hand while we follow Ethan. All I can taste is anger, whoever the hell did this is going to understand the meaning of pain. And I am going to be their deliverer.


	27. Hidden Truths

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Hidden Truths**

 **Alec's Point of View**

Causalities, it's such a polite word. You hear it on news broadcasts, you read it in newspapers, it's tossed around so often the meaning behind it is almost forgotten. But to those unfortunate souls that are told their love one has become a casualty, the meaning behind it is quite clear . . . death.

War is filled with death on both sides and fate has always and will forever be my enemy. As the sunrises onto a new day, I am left with the reality that surviving war is not always the best scenario, sometimes it is the largest curse of them all.

The sun brings the painful reality that my body is alive. While those closest to my heart, to my soul are lying on several cold metal slabs in the mortuary of this hospital. The pain is overwhelming. A horrid reminder that I am alive. It's as though I've been sucked into a cold, dark, black gel that has frozen me into place. There is no escape, no way to move, no will to do so.

I am stuck on rewind, reliving my mistakes that literally caused hearts to stop beating. I keep praying that I will wake up, that this is some sort of nightmare. But those prayers will never be answered. The only response I am receiving is the beep of the heart monitor. I am half amused that something so shattered could possibly be beating.

Our stance is over, our enemy crippled but not defeated. The cost was too great. As I lay here half-conscious in a hospital bed I know of three who have fallen, one of which bleed to death in my very arms. The others I do not know. All I know is that one is too many. I tried to stop this, I tried but some things you cannot stop. Some things are just destined.

Today I am faced with the impossibility of living past today. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be breathing. I'd trade my life for theirs in a heartbeat. I would stop the world if I could. I shouldn't be here, there shouldn't be air filling my lungs. I should not be alive. A shattered heart should never beat for it will never repair.

I listen to the monitors beep, praying that the gods, accept my final pray: _Please, take my life too._

The drugs have my mind coming and going for a few days. Horrid flashbacks in my nightmares resulted in heavier drugs, which made it harder to think. But something was scratching at the edge of my fuzzy brain. Something important, I just can't figure out what it is. My mind flashes to the past few hours since I thought I was dead.

 _"_ _Alec!" I hear but I can't respond my mind racing towards denial. "Alec! Are you alright?" I hear after realizing I had been carried to a safe distance. My rescuer nowhere to be found. I hear the voice continue to talk but I can't make out the words over my painful chest coughs._

 _I can't tell you how long it was from the time I was rescued to the time I had an air mask being placed on my face; my mind spinning with the horrific images of my friends. It snaps me back into the moment. I recognize the man who gave me the mask, it was one of Levi's co-workers, and I push it away. "They're dead! They are all dead!"_

 _"_ _Alec right?" The guy asks, "Come on man I need you to keep this mask on for me."_

 _I grab his wrist. "No, you don't understand." I start coughing. "Levi, Chloe . . . they're dead." I tell him releasing my grip and allow the mask to be placed over my mouth to help me breathe. Fuck my lungs are burning._

 _The man's face turns ghost white, "Are you sure man?"_

 _I shake my head yes, removing the mask to speak, "The fire is a cover. They are on the second floor, Rachel on the first, and Kyle is in the basement."_

 _"_ _Fucking hell." He bitches, putting the mask back on me, turning to the crew. "This man needs a bus!" He turns to me and I nod, knowing his is going to try to save as much evidence as he can._

 _"_ _Hey, I am riding with him." That familiar voice tells some approaching paramedics._

 _I look up and register my rescuer for the first time. "Ethan?" I question, "What are you doing here?"_

 _"_ _You texted me." He answers with a look of disbelief. "Are you alright, where does it hurt?" I can't answer him. He jumps into my ambulance with me and squeezes my arm. "Don't worry Alec, whoever is did this is going to pay." Ethan promises._

He called Clayton while he climbed into the ambulance with me. They rode with sirens all the way to the hospital. I was rushed into x-ray where they had to give me a light sedative to take my photos because I wouldn't calm down. The films told them that I don't need surgery but I do need an oxygen mask and fluids. I resented it all. I remember screaming, pulling out any IV they tried to give me. I pleaded for them to let me die. My migraine was something awful. Every time I closed my eyes the images of my friends lifeless bodies were burned into my eyelids. I remember a needle put directly into my arm and then there was the illusion of peace. Now I am here, staring at a machine monitoring my heartbeat while my wrists stay in hospital cuffs, for my safety. Tears are streaking down my face, this isn't a dream and I am not going to wake up. People I loved died and I don't know why. I was spared and I hate my rescuer. Not just because he is my friends murderer but because he spared me. And above all I hate myself because I can't get those eyes out of my head, it's haunting me. Was that really Bobby Spencer? Did he kill everyone but simply couldn't kill me? What the hell is going on?

I turn my head to the sound of the door opening. Clayton, Ethan and Mike are there. I don't say a fucking word to any of them, I just stare for a moment before I look back at the ceiling. Clayton is the first to move, he kicks off his shoes and climbs onto the bed with me.

"I'm so sorry Angel." He whispers in my ear. Mike and Ethan sit on the foot of my bed. "Are these really necessary?" Clayton asks Ethan, referring to my restraints.

"Doctor's orders." Ethan frowns, taking one of my restricted hands.

"They were tortured." I gasp, fresh tears spilling out of my eyes. "Then they were killed and left to burn." Tears fall harder. "The worst part is I think who did it." Everyone in the room tenses, "I don't want to believe it. This can't be happening."

"Alec?" Ethan asks.

"I could have sworn it was Bobby." I answer falling apart all over again.

Clayton snaps his head from me to Ethan to Mike and back to me. "Angel, it's okay, breathe." I feel his hand run through my hair. "I am right here, we will figure this out."

"It wasn't Bobby." Mike responds so confidently that I snap my eyes to him, wanting more than anything for him to be right. "Alec, what makes you think it was him."

"His eyes." I answer, my heart breaking just thinking about it.

"But you just said you could have sworn, so what makes you question it?"

"There was smoke everywhere Mike. Hope?"

"It could be hope or it could be your subconscious knowing your partner." Mike argues. "Was it his build? Did he speak?"

"I don't know, I can't remember."

"What are you getting at?" Ethan asks impatiently.

"I think it was Xzavier Spencer." Mike answers. "A.K.A. Xzavier Miles."

I watch in pure amazement as Ethan moves so swiftly I almost miss his hands on Mike's throat before he jerks him off my bed and pins him to the wall by his neck. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Someone who listens." Mike answers, his face turning red.

"Let him go!" Clayton snaps at Ethan, jumping off the bed, balling his fists.

"Ethan please." I whisper. Ethan hesitates before he drops Mike, causing him to fall to the floor gasping for air.

"Who are The Dolore?" Clayton asks Ethan causing my Sir to tense and glare. He's angry, very angry. Had I been the one to ask him that I am sure I would be tortured for days. "Who are they Ethan?" Clayton persists.

"The fact that you don't know keeps you off their radar." Ethan answers dangerously.

"It is a known fact Angles of Justice operated out of Chloe's house." Mike argues. "We are already on their radar."

"No." Ethan denies. "If they wanted to kill the Angels they would not have gone to the trouble to kill your friends first. The fact they spared Alec proves that the Angels were not part of this message."

"What message?" I ask.

"I don't know. But they pissed someone off somehow. And it doesn't involve you." Ethan answers.

"To hell it doesn't!"

"Alec, I get that they were your friends. But you need to understand you are protected by my family! If they wanted to go after The Quattro there are better ways than through our Angels!"

"Our Angels?" Clayton asks, astonished.

"Please, you must be aware I have kept you alive on more than one occasion." Ethan dismisses him in annoyance, "And now you question this? You never wondered how Chloe was fed all those names? They were all guilty, they just also happen to be my family's enemies."

"So you are telling me Chloe and all my friends upset this guy and he killed them." I sum up, getting Ethan back to his original point.

"I am saying Xzavier Spencer, Bobby's brother, killed your friends." Ethan answers. I give him a look of shocked disbelief. "To my defense I didn't realize the connection until after Bobby disappeared. And I couldn't be sure I was right, I still can't."

"Really?" Mike asks. "You've seen that wall Ethan. Bobby was hunting Alec. He has been for a very long time. If you ask me, he's a Dolore."

"We are talking about Alec's partner!" Ethan seethes.

"You got a better explanation?" Mike challenges.

"He told me not to look at that wall and think that he didn't love me." I reply heartbroken.

"It doesn't mean he wasn't your enemy." Mike points out.

"Maybe he was and he switched sides." Clayton suggests. "He pointed us to Daniel, he was trying to tell us about Xzavier. Ethan, you have to stop holding back to protect us. What the hell are we missing?"

"Xzavier kidnapped Pricilla and forced her into marriage not long after she forced Liam and Daniel apart. My family sacrificed a lot to get her back but it took years. When she was free Que gave her whatever she wanted. She chose fame, she changed her hair, her name, but it was risky. What made it worse was that she had developed volatile behavior from all her years in captivity. She is a fucking ticking time bomb."

"Yeah we picked up on that." Clayton replies bitterly. "So he points us to Daniel, which leads us to what we thought was Pricilla but that wasn't it. He was pointing to Xzavier this whole time. He was warning us."

"And we missed it." I reply angrily, glaring at Ethan.

"Have we?" Clayton asks. "Are we in danger? Was that his message? Did he not warn Kyle and the rest? Kyle and him were lovers for fucksake."

"What if he tried and that is why he is gone?" Mike asks.

"If that is the case he is a serious danger." Ethan frowns.

"Not just him, Daniel too. Daniel unknowingly gave us the message Bobby was trying to send."

"Why?" I ask. "The Angels have been active for years. Bobby and I have been partners for years. What the hell happened that caused all of this?"

"Question of the hour." Mike frowns.

"It doesn't matter, what matters is protecting the three of you and finding Bobby." Ethan dismisses.

I stopped listening after that. I knew what they were saying, either one of the greatest loves of my life was a fraud and it all meant nothing; or he our love was so powerful it meant everything. Leaving me with the choice of him being alive and evil or dead and good. Both thoughts suck so bad that my head aches and my vision blurs out. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to think. _Sleep Alec, it is all you can do right now._ Glory tells me. I close my eyes and wish that when I open them I will awake for the worst dream of my life. Then an all too familiar dream hits my the back of my eyelids and it hits me, Xzavier, I know where I have seen him before. How could I have forgotten? He was the man who killed Glory, he was the man I testified against all those years ago. How could I not have that face etched into my memory? _Because I have been trying to hide it from you Alec, it's a dangerous memory._ Glory tells me. _Sleep, forget this, please._ Too tired to argue with my own mind, I find a nightmarish sleep.

When I wake I find myself alone with Ethan. I have to admit I am surprised, Clayton never leaves me in hospitals. "Hey." Ethan whispers when he realizes I am staring at the ceiling.

"I want to go home." I whisper.

"Sorry, being your medical power of attorney, I requested that you get put on a forty-eight hour suicide watch." Ethan informs me. "I won't be able to come back after I leave."

I am not amused with this information but I understand his concern. "Where is Clayton?"

"Updating Daniel and security measures. He'll be back." Ethan shrugs. "Mike is around here somewhere I'm sure."

"Why didn't you tell me about The Dolore?"

"I haven't told you about any of my family's enemies. It isn't your concern slave. You have enough to deal with when it comes to being my family's property. Why burden you with more?"

"I don't know, might have prevented me from falling in love with one them." I reply bitterly.

"Don't act like I knew. I didn't! I would have never allowed it!" Ethan seethes.

"How long ago did you put it together?" I ask.

"Alec I wasn't sure. Not until I confirmed with the others, which happened the day I took your punishment for Brad's death."

"How long were you not sure?"

"Since you told me that Daniel knew Pricilla and Xzavier."

"How long have you known Xzavier killed Glory?" I ask, meeting his eyes.

"I was hoping your mind would keep that buried." Ethan admits, taking my hand. "For the record, I didn't realize Xzavier Miles was Xzavier Spencer until I seen that flyer."

"You didn't say a word." I reply so angry my voice can't even express emotion.

"There are things you can't know Slave." Ethan answers sternly.

"To hell there is. He is my lover's brother!" I snap.

"Not everything is up to me you know that!" He seethes. "But you have to trust me, we are protecting you. Never mention this to me again Slave, not once, not if you want to continue to breathe. Do you understand?"

Tears slip down my face. "Get. Out."

"Alec."

"GET OUT!" I scream at him, fighting the restraints, knowing having me agitated was going to get him kicked out.

"Fine, but I need to say this, Slave." Ethan responds in a sharp tone. "I didn't tell you but I did tell Chloe. She knew, she was warned the moment I suspected. I called her and despite that, it didn't save them."

I stare at the ceiling, absorbing his words but not responding to them. He stays for a moment longer before he leaves me alone in the room. I don't know how to get through this. I don't know how to accept this. With all my education, all my training, I am at a loss of how to save myself from this. This grief, this loss is unbearable. I want to be numb, I need to be numb. I need this not to be fucking happening. "Fuck Glory this hurts." I cry, crying so hard I finally wear myself out to restless sleep.


	28. Triangles

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Triangles**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

Alec had fallen asleep rather suddenly. It had me worried but his monitors were showing normal read outs. I was reminded he had just been through the ordeal of his life and his body is week from smoke inhalation. Still, I didn't like it. Knowing we had privacy I turned to Ethan.

"Are there any more skeletons in your fucking closet?" I snap.

"Plenty, but they don't concern you." Ethan glares.

"He's going to hate you for this, you know that right? Whatever friendship or fuckbuddy relationship you had with him, it's over." I inform him. "When he tells you to go, you better fucking go, or I swear to fucking hell Ethan, I will go after you myself."

I take Mike's hand and all but drag him out of the room. We walk in an awkward silence until I find an empty room and close the door. We say nothing as he watches me close the blinds and verify that we are indeed alone. "Ethan is right, you know a lot of information. Is there something you are not telling me?"

"My source is dried up, with the fire." Mike answers, watching me closely. "Kyle and Chloe were undercover agents. I think Rachel might have been as well, I can't be sure." He notices that I am not all that surprised with this information. "Did you know?"

"I knew about Chloe." I shrug.

"Well Chloe shared pillow talk with Levi and Levi, well he had a soft spot for me. He wanted me safe and he felt the best way to do that was to keep me informed."

"How long were you his?"

"Long before Alec came to Texas." Mike shrugs, not really answering the question. His eyes fill with tears and I realize now is not the time to be grilling him with twenty questions.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, walking up to him and holding him close. "I'm so fucking sorry." He loses his composure and breaks down in my arms. I hold him close, letting him mourn the loss of those he loved. I wish I knew this part of him better but I don't. Mike kept it away from me because it was his personal life. And truth be told when he and I finally started to see each other I was in the mist of hating his Master's wife so I can understand why he kept me from them. His body eventually calms in my arms. "What can I do handsome?"

"Nothing, you can't bring them back." Mike answers, stepping away.

"I want to be here for you." I whisper, stepping up to him and wrapping my arms around him from behind.

"You need to warn Daniel." Mike dismisses.

I drop my head onto his shoulder. "Don't shut me out Mike, please."

"I'm not." He assures me. "But Clay if he isn't warned and something happens, you would never forgive yourself."

"I can call him."

"Clay."

"I don't want to leave you." I reply, pulling him into me.

"I'll be here, watching over Alec. I won't be alone, I swear." Mike promises.

I don't move, I simply hold him. "I'm scared Mike. If they went after your Master, they can go after you. I can't lose you, I won't."

"I promise to be here when you get back." Mike whispers. "But you have to go Clay. You love Daniel too."

"Now is not the time to remind me that I need to make a choice." I snap.

"That wasn't my intention." He assures me, pulling my arms tighter. "No matter who you chose, your heart will love both of us. This is bigger than our love triangle Clay. I am warned, Daniel is not. You need to go to him. Alec can't, he's hurt. Bobby is missing and may be an enemy. Daniel hates me and Ethan so that leaves you."

"I don't trust Ethan." I reply dryly.

"I think he is more of an alley than Bobby ever was at this point." Mike sighs.

"I don't believe that." I argue. "My denial is justified. I love Bobby. Almost as much as I love you. There is no way he could ever hurt us like this." I gently let Mike go, grab his hips and turn him to face me. "I won't be long. I swear. But I am not leaving until you can look me in the eye and tell me you are okay."

"I can't do that Clay. But I promise I won't do anything stupid." He touches my cheek. "I love you." He presses his lips to mine lightly and pulls away. "The sooner you go, the sooner you come back."

I give a deep sigh, drop my arms, only to take his hands and squeeze. I don't break eye contact as I hold onto him as long as possible, walking away backwards. When I have no choice to leave I all but break out into a run, wanting to get this over with. Daniel and Ben may be in danger, I get that and I know neither of them will take our fucking phone calls. But I also know Mike is in danger and is heartbroken and that breaks my heart too.

I make it to the parking garage, get into my car and drive straight to Ben's. I am not surprised to find Daniel's car there but in hinesight I have no damn clue if he is even in town or on a shoot. Either way I am here and I might as well knock on the damn door. Thankfully, they are home.

"Is this you choosing him? Because if not, I would rather you leave." Ben frowns, stepping onto the porch and closing the door.

"This is Angel business Ben, it involves you and Amber as well." I answer hotly.

"Yeah about that, I'm pretty sure Daniel and I are done." Ben replies, keeping the door firmly closed.

"Sorry, lifetime membership." I reply. "Let me in, we need to talk."

"You need to make a choice and stop treating him like a ping-pong ball. You go to a couple's counseling session with him only to have Mike spend the night the very same day!"

"Are you following me or some shit?" I reply annoyed.

"No, Daniel went to your place, he wanted to talk but Mike was there."

"Good to know." I reply dryly. "Ben this is important, you have to let me in."

"Why the fuck would I do that when you are here to break his heart?"

"Because your lives are in danger." I snap annoyed, realizing I did not deny Ben's accusation. "I'm fucking serious, people are dead." I watch the blood drain from Ben's face and he opens the door. I find Daniel and Amber in the living room, it is obvious to me that Daniel had been crying at some point. I was curious if it hit the news yet. But the looks of him, tells me that he wasn't crying over fallen friends, he was crying over us. Awkwardly, I sit down on a couch opposite of them, watching Ben join them.

"There is no easy way to say this." I start.

"It's over isn't it?" Daniel interrupts.

"There was an attack." I continue ignoring him. "Chloe, Levi, Kyle and Rachel are dead."

"What?" Amber asks. "I'm sorry did you just say they are dead?"

"Yes."

"How? Why?"

I stare at my hands. "They were," I swallow hard, trying to get the words out. "They were tortured and then Chloe's Playhouse or Darkest Desires or whatever was burned to the ground with them inside. From my understanding the firefighters were able to get their corpses out in time because they knew where they were."

"How did they know that?" Daniel asks.

"Alec, had the misfortune of discovering their bodies when the murderer was still there."

"Clayton tell me he's okay!" Amber responds frantically.

I swallow hard. "He almost didn't make it out, but he's physically okay. Mentally, he seen his best friends stabbed to death. It's not sitting well."

Amber breaks down almost instantly, causing Ben to wrap his arm around her and pull her into him. Daniel stares at me. "Do we know the why?"

"There is a strong theory." I reply. "You remember how Bobby brought your past to our attention."

"Wait if you are accusing Daniel-" Ben interrupts.

"I'm not." I reply coldly. "Bobby wasn't pointing us to Pricilla. He was pointing us to Xzavier."

"Bobby's brother? Okay, so what does he have to do with all of this?" Daniel asks, truly confused.

"Everything." I answer solemnly. "Xzavier and Bobby were raised to be apart of a group known as The Dolore. I don't know much about them except they are dangerous."

"Dangerous is an understatement." Amber hisses, swallowing tears. "You are sitting here telling us Bobby is one of them? I don't fucking believe you!"

"I'm telling you the brothers were raised by them." I reply annoyed. "I don't know if Bobby accepted or rejected them. But looking at the puzzle pieces I would say he rejected them at least once, which explains why Xzavier ran away. I am also telling you that in my soul I know Bobby is a good man and he could not have any part of this."

"But you think his brother did?"

"Alec was pulled from that fire, he seen the murderers eyes. They looked just like Bobby's but the man wasn't built like Bobby." I lick my lips. "The head of The Dolore is known as Xzavier Miles."

"Bobby's parents died, Xzavier was adopted." Amber catches on. "The Dolore, Bobby is a part of the Dolore!"

"He's an Angel! Just like us." I snap. "Bobby rejected them, I whole heartedly believe that."

"If that is true where the fuck is he?" Ben demands.

"That depends on how convincing he is." Amber replies, tears streaking down her face. "He is either alive and forced to celebrate this tragedy or he's dead."

"How do we save him?" Ben asks.

"You're assuming he wants to be saved." Daniel replies, causing me to give him a hard glare. "Would he really want us to risk our lives for him?" he defends himself.

"We won't be his rescuers." I reply. "The Quattro will."

"What?"

"Long story, enemy rivals and all that. The point is we need to keep a damn low profile and we need to be careful. Very careful. I wouldn't trust too many people outside this room."

"I trust Isaac." Daniel replies with a glare.

"Vet him again. Just be sure."

"Like everyone vetted Bobby?" he challenges. "Better yet why don't you and I can fix us and we can go back to being exclusive."

Amber clears her throat. "I need to do that thing in the kitchen, Ben can you help?" She gives Daniel a pointed look before she turns to me. "I'm so sorry Clayton."

I stand up and give her a tight hug. "Me too." She pulls away with a smile, squeezes my hand and walks away.

Ben looks over at me, "If you need anything man."

"Just be careful and take care of them." He nods and walks away.

I turn to Daniel. "I am not going to let a tragedy force my decision." I reply dryly.

"I'm sorry I lied to you." He replies, his eyes watering. "I wanted to talk to you some more but to see Mike there. It hurt baby."

"This lie turned out to be deadly, Daniel." I reply angrily. "Had you just told us, had we had more time to put this together, lives may have been saved."

"Had I just told you?" he replies defensively, "What about Bobby! Had he just been honest with us in the beginning!"

"I don't want to fight right now Daniel." I sigh feeling suddenly exhausted. "But coming to my house unannounced, it's not my fault that hurt you."

"It was my night."

"It might work like that with you and Isaac, but not me." I shake my head. "I don't want to talk about this. Our friends are dead. Alec and Mike are in pieces. I lost people. Chloe and I just started to heal. Levi and I were real friends. Kyle and Rachel always went out of their way for me. This hurts. This sucks. This is where my head and heart are right now. Not in some dark corner pondering of which man I want to be with."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I didn't know them all that well. I wasn't aware you did." He replies, sobering up.

"It was mostly before your time." I dismiss. "I have to go. Daniel, I'm serious about Isaac, be careful."

"When can I see you again?"

"I don't know. There are funerals and things to attend. Sometime after that." I shrug, unsure what else to say as I stand up and head for the door with him reluctantly following me. "Take care of yourself and look out for Amber. She was really close to Rachel."

"I love you Clayton." He whispers, squeezing my hand. "I'm sorry." I nod, and make my way out without a word, heading straight to my car and back to the hospital where I am needed and exactly where I want to be.

When I get there I run into Mike and Ethan in a waiting room, which is when I realize two things; Ethan has medical power of attorney over Alec and Alec is on suicide watch. I am not amused by either one of these facts. Ethan however is insistent that he is doing the right thing. Mike surprises me with his support on Ethan's decision. Powerless to change the situation I sit down with them trying to absorb the day.

"How did it go with Daniel?" Mike asks.

"Horrible." I admit. I shake my head. "I can't try anymore. He has turned into someone I simply can't love. He's so fucking selfish. He barely flinched when I told him what happened. And when I told him that he should have come cleaner sooner he went ballistic pointing the finger at Bobby and not himself. Not to mention he had the audacity to try to talk about our relationship. Like this is the time!" I pull at my hair in frustration. "How can I love that? Why would I even want to try?"

"Sounds like you have made a choice." Ethan shrugs, "Not Daniel."

"Not Daniel." I confirm. I look up at Mike. "I don't want to concentrate on this right now. Not with what is going on, but I want to say this. You are not a default. I just know Daniel isn't a choice for me anymore. I know our relationship is still open. You are still with Sean, I respect that. I don't mind dating other people and you, like we are now. I also don't mind becoming exclusive if ever you are ready to trust me like that again. But I am not ready for that, not yet. Now is not the time to be making tough choices. Especially for you." I take his hand. "I respect that you have lost a lot of great people and I want to be here to help you through it. I'm not pressuring you into anything. If you want to call Sean and lean on him, you won't offend me in the slightest. I just need you to lead me, handsome. I will follow."

"You are a very rare man." Mike smiles, squeezing my hand. "I have called Sean, I wasn't sure about him coming though."

"He's as welcome as you want him to be." I smile. "How are you Mike, is there anything at all I can do?"

"Levi's family is going to take this the hardest." Mike frowns.

"I will work with them personally." I assure him. "Are there any other arrangements you need?"

"How long are we keeping Blackboard Entertainment and Alec's youth center closed?" he asks.

"Blackboard another day? The center another week?" I offer up turning to Ethan, he nods in agreement. I turn back to Mike. "You are taking time off, no arguments. No matter what your agenda's are like, I got them covered, even if I do it myself."

"Thanks Boss." He smiles.

I turn back to Ethan. "Now that we know who might have Bobby, do we know where to look?"

"Maybe, but it is going to take convincing to get my family help. I might be able to get some intel because of the emotional torture that led to the death of a protected member of The Quattro but no promises."

"Remind them they owe us for attempted murder of two other protected members." I snap, causing a weird sensation in my chest that goes as fast as it comes. I wince in surprise but I ignore it.

"You okay?" Mike asks.

"Yeah, just pissed." I answer.

"I'm sure I will get there soon." Mike frowns, pulling out his phone. I glance at the screen and realize he is texting Sean. "You're really okay with him being here?"

"Of course."

"Good, cause apparently he is here." Mike smiles.

I hold my breath, turning away from Mike, slightly apprehensive about meeting a man that has the full opportunity of stealing away someone I love and was foolish enough to hurt. Ethan gives me a look that causes me to regain my composure. The guy that approaches Mike surprises me. His build is completely opposite of mine, his shoulders are very broad, chest is very muscular, he has very short brown hair, and he is slightly taller than me. He heads straight to Mike and swallows him whole in his strong arms. I look at Ethan for some sort of distraction. Ethan however is a little busy sizing the guy up himself. Can't say I blame him this guy's ass is amazing.

Mike pulls away and squeezes Sean's hands. "I'd like you to meet Clay and Ethan. Alec is here but he isn't available for company."

"Nice to meet you." Sean smiles at us, shaking both our hands in an extremely firm grip. "I'm sorry for your loss." He brings Mike back to his side. "How are you?"

"Numb." Mike answers, wrapping his arm around him.

"I'm so sorry precious." Sean whispers, wrapping his arm around Mike.

"I'm starving." Ethan notes suddenly. "When is the last time you two ate?" I look at Ethan grateful.

"I'm not hungry." Mike dismisses.

"Me either but we are eating." I tell him. "I'll help Ethan get you something okay."

"If you must." Mike sighs.

"He must." Sean tells him, smiling at me.

I nod at the guy and walk away with Ethan. When we are out of earshot I turn to Ethan. "I wasn't expecting that to suck so much."

"I wish I could say it gets easier, it doesn't." Ethan frowns. "You just learn to tolerate."

"Good to know." I frown. "You're seriously worried Alec is suicidal?"

"You have to understand Clayton, I've seen the man slit his wrist right in front of me." Ethan frowns. "He came in here begging for death. He scared the shit out of me."

"They were his first friends as a free man. They were his family." I sigh. "And they were good people, they didn't deserve this."

"No one deserves what happened to them." Ethan agrees.

"Alec is going to get through this Ethan. Between the two of us, he is going to be fine."

"He'll be better once we get Bobby to explain himself." Ethan seethes. "But even that might break the man's heart."'

"Right now we just need to concentrate on taking care of Alec and finding Bobby. The rest we will deal with when the time comes."

We make it to the cafeteria and I find a sandwich that I know Mike likes. I buy only one, figuring we can split it, because our stomachs both currently hate us. I also bought us both some water. I wasn't rude, I also bought Sean a full sandwich and water, guess at what he would prefer. Ethan buys a little more for himself but not a lot. We make it back to the waiting room and I splitting my sandwich with Mike and giving Sean his food. They both thank me and we fall silent, waiting for time to pass. After a long while I turn to Mike.

"You should go home, get some sleep."

"I don't want to leave you Clay. I know you are worried about Alec." Mike argues.

"I am going to be fine, Ethan can keep me company." I retort. He gives me a doubtful look. "Seriously Mike, you lost your Master. You need to be home. I would go with you if I could, but I wouldn't ask you to leave if I felt you were not in good hands."

"Wow, thanks man." Sean says, surprised. I give him a short nod in response.

"Clay." Mike protest.

I turn to Sean, "Mind if I steal him for a moment?"

"Only for a moment." Sean replies in a tone that indicates an underline meaning.

I ignore it and take Mike's hand. We walk just outside the waiting room. "I love you." I whisper, "And I need you to be somewhere where you can move past numb. You need rest."

"What about you? They were your friends too." Mike challenges.

"They were, but we weren't as close as you and Alec were." I remind him. "I'm not leaving Alec. I don't want to leave you, but Mike, it isn't about me right now. It's about what is best for you." I smile at him. "Pay attention handsome, this is me, taking care of you."

"Thank you." He whispers, giving me a hug. I hold him for a moment. "Clay are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"I always want you to stay." I answer. "Now go, get some rest. I am just a text away."

He pulls away gives me a skeptical look, then turns back to the waiting room. I put my hands in my pockets as he takes Sean's hand, and they walk out together. I sit down next to Ethan after they go. "Did you see the way they looked at each other?" Ethan raises his eyebrow at me, "I might have come to my senses too fucking late."

"That all depends on the type of relationship you want with him Clayton. You offered him polygamous and monogamy in the same damn sentence. Because that isn't confusing at all."

"It's not up to me anymore Ethan. It's up to him."

"Then you need to figure out how to not be jealous of Sean." Ethan replies seriously.

"You're the expert not me." I laugh.

"I am an extremely jealous man Clayton." Ethan admits to me. "But Alec … his happiness is worth my discomfort. And the best thing I can suggest is to get along with the other man or completely keep your relationship separate and never see them. I chose the latter until Bobby asked me to move in with them." I raise my eyebrow at him. "Yeah talk about awkward." Ethan laughs, "But how could I say no?" He exhales roughly. "I'd give anything for that to be the only issue going on in our lives right now. Instead, Bobby disappears, Alec's friends are tortured and murdered and well fuck Alec's life is crumbling all around him." Ethan looks me in the eye. "You are going to have to get used to me being around. I am not letting Alec far from my sight and I sure the hell won't give you a long leash. If he loses you, I won't be able to save him. I need your support Clayton, for Alec."

"Free him. If he still wants you in his life, you will hear no arguments from me."

"I do that and my family can't protect a single Angel from the Dolore!"

We glare at each other for an extremely long time. "Fine, but I want to hear it from Alec, without you in the room, that he wants you around." Ethan turns his head from me. "Is that a problem?"

"He was upset. He blames my protecting him from the knowledge of my enemies as the reason his friends are dead."

"I can see his point."

Ethan shakes his head. "The moment I realized something was off, Chloe was the first person I called." Ethan puts his head in his hands. "She knew, and the information didn't save them."

"No I have a feeling it's more than that." I frown. "If I knew Chloe at all, she was trying to save Bobby and it got her killed."

"This is a fucking mess Clayton." Ethan complains.

"No what's a mess is that there is something worse out there than The Quattro. And despite my extreme distaste for your family, we need them." I shake my head, I never believed I would live the hell of an ancient saying: 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend.'

"Like I said, a fucking mess." Ethan answers.

After a little more waiting I decide to hunt down Brooke and ask the favor of Ethan and I sleeping in an on-call room. She was surprised to see me there and was truly upset when she realized why. She promised to join Alec's case and get updates because he has been her patient there. She also insisted on listening to my heart and offered me something to help me sleep but I declined. I have had enough of medicines. She was called in for surgery in the middle of asking me some heart questions and didn't get a chance to do an exam. In a rush she turned to an intern to finish it for her and to arrange us an on call room while giving me some tips on good take-out that delivers. I thank her as she runs off. The intern did a quick exam and then sent me on my way.

The next day and a half I am going crazy in this fucking hospital. It was different being at Alec's bedside but to be locked away from him was driving me mad. Mike had stopped by with chargers, a tablet and an mp3 player filled with demo's to help me kill the time. I was truly grateful that he thought to do this but I sent him home almost immediately, reminding him he is on vacation. With these electronics though, I managed to get caught up with all my damn e-mails, finish reports, return calls, set up meetings, and listen to the demo tape list that Ryan had piled up for me.

When Alec was finally able to receive visitors both Ethan and I were at his side instantly. We tried to have a simple conversation with him but he was not responsive. Confused, I squeeze his hand, "Master?" His eyes move to mine but the pain in them is so intense, it takes my breath away. "Do you want us to leave?" I ask, still Alec doesn't answer. Confused and upset I turn to Ethan.

Ethan takes Alec's other hand. "Pet?" Alec's eyes move but he still doesn't speak. Ethan lets go of his hand, places his fingers on Alec's nipples, twists and pulls them rather roughly. Alec cries out but the moment Ethan stops he falls silent. Ethan turns to me. "He needs pain and a lot of it."

"That sounds dangerous." I reply guarded.

"It is." Ethan frowns. "But it is what he needs. I can give it to him, but not here."

"You are asking me to trust you with his mind." I snap.

"Clayton, he _needs_ this. And no offense, you can't give this to him. No one can but me. Trust me."

"Alec?" I ask, receiving a squeeze from him. I take it as his reassurance that he will be fine with Ethan. Frowning in worry I turn to Ethan. "I will get him out of here for you but you are doing this at his house. I will be there as soon as I get some arrangements made."

"You want to be there fine, but prepare yourself, this is going to be dark and you will not under any circumstance question or interfere with my methods." Ethan warns.

"I'll get Brooke to get the paperwork." I reply, promising nothing of the sort. "Alec, I need you to try to talk to her okay, even if it is forced. Just try, so she will get you out of here and we can get you the subspace you are needing." I see a tear fall from his eye. "I am so sorry this isn't all a bad dream Angel, but know I am here. I will help you no matter what."

I leave him feeling apprehensive at best. Brooke is surprised at my request to get him out of there but she knows I of all people would not do anything to harm Alec. Trying not to think about it I get in my car and go to the place I have been dreading since I promised Alec. Going through a death of a family member is not easy, but a mother outliving her own child, no matter the age, is a best the worst thing in the world.

I hated meeting Levi's mother like this. She was surrounded by her entire family and I felt like an intruder. I apologized for Alec's absence, explaining he was hospitalized from the fire, but assured he would be at the funeral. She thanked me for that. I felt so helpless watching her grieve that I called the funeral home and paid for all the four funerals. There was nothing else I could do and reliving the financial burden of pay for her son and daughter in law seemed appropriate. I had no idea about Rachel's and Kyle's next of kin but they didn't need that burden either.

When I find a respectable time to leave I head to Alec's house. I don't take the time to even drop my keys, making a beeline to his playroom. I wasn't prepared for what I see. Ethan is using a heavy duty flogger very heavy handely. Alec's entire body is flushed red and in some spots bleeding. Ethan catches my eye and stops.

"Sir please MORE!" Alec screams in protest of interruption. Ethan obliges his request. I stand there in amazement at what I am witnessing. Ethan works every tool he grabs beautifully. The technique slightly different for each flogger, single tail, and cane. He works Alec's body in ways I can only dream to accomplish as a Master myself, pausing only when he knows Alec needs it. To an outsider the session is a brutal one and had I not witnessed it I would be furious to know the marks on his skin were left by someone who refuses safe words. But to actually watch these two, the yin and yang that unfolds before my eyes is a beautiful symphony. Ethan can read Alec beautifully, giving him everything he needs.

Ethan eventually takes Alec off the ropes he was bound too and lets him rest on the floor. For the first time since he noticed me he turns his attention to me. "Now do you understand?"

"Yeah, I think I do." I answer, looking at Alec's sobbing form. I don't say another word, instead I excuse myself while Ethan tends to Alec. I was half convinced before but after witnessing that, I know for certain, Alec is truly in love him. The hurricane force kind of love that can stand through anything. Which is exactly what Alec needs right now, and is something that I simply can't give him on my own.

The next few weeks are a blur. Levi and Chloe shared a service and it was one of the most emotional events of my life, next to my mother's passing. Alec was in complete despair. I had no words for him. There was nothing that felt right to say. Mike too was an emotional mess and I found myself both grateful to Ethan and Sean because the extra support kept me from drowning.

Ben, Amber and Daniel came to all the funerals but we didn't talk much. To be honest I was avoiding Daniel, unsure how to end it with him but respecting now was not the time. Besides Amber was a mess too and Ben needed all the help he could get to support her. Daniel did manage to get me alone once or twice and he was genuinely concerned on how I was holding up. It was nice honestly but it didn't by any means change my mind about him.

The funerals were respectable. Almost half the community showed up to grieve. Levi was big into volunteering when he wasn't working. Chloe, Kyle, and Rachel were dearly loved by many. I met grieving family and friends, recognizing few faces, but in the end the service helped us all start on the road of acceptance as the farewells were very respectable.

Detective Cole was there along will this partner and half the police force to be honest. He promised us justice for whoever did this and I took him aside telling him to meet with me in a couple of days. He looked concerned. I only nodded and did nothing to comfort his fear.

Two days later I am waiting for Dale in Stringbean café. I am so caught up in my own world I almost miss the fact the barista had put his phone number on my coffee cup, with a smiley face. It felt good to be noticed in such a simple way but I had no intention of copying the number down. When Dale joins me he looks exhausted but he is trying to keep it all business.

"How are you doing Clayton?" he asks, taking a drink of his coffee.

"I'm not as distraught as the rest but I am still hurting." I admit. "Do you have any idea who did this?" I ask, taking a sip of my coffee. "Before you answer that I know Chloe was an undercover agent." I blurt out in a soft voice. "I just don't know about Kyle and Rachel."

"I can't confirm or deny anything." Dale replies firmly.

"She was after something bigger than us Dale." I frown. "And her target killed her."

"What do you think you know Clayton?" Dale frowns. "I think this needs to be ruled a terrible accident and get the public to leave it alone. Anything else is going to cause mass panic and cause the party responsible to go so for underground he will never receive justice."

"Even if we did that in would not mean we would let this go, more or less support your handling it." I leave forward and talk softly, "I know, I just want the guy caught." I shrug.

"And who is this guy?" Dale challenges.

"Someone who is loyal to The Dolores." I reply so softly I am not sure he heard me but his facial expression tells me he did. "Same train of thought might lead us to Bobby." I add casually, leaning back in my chair.

"That umm." Dale frowns. "That is above my paygrade."

"I figured as much, just get this fire buried. I'll be in touch with the right people." I respond, dropping a tip on the table and heading out, not waiting for a response.

The question I am facing now is who the right people are. Is it really the Angels of Justice? Or is it best to get outside help? If so who? The Dolore's enemies or the law? Hell the only damn law I knew were just murdered by the assholes. Getting them involved doesn't feel promising. The only other thought I can think of makes my stomach turn. Could I really trust the Quattro with my life? Should I? Thinking about it gives me a damn headache.

I try to distract myself with work but my concentration isn't what it should be. When I am not working I am with Alec who is starting to talk a little more and more each day. I still find words difficult but I am trying. Normally I bring over some food and hold him while we watch a movie. Today doesn't seem any different except that Ethan's car isn't in the driveway.

"Hey." I call handing him a sandwich.

"Hey yourself." He shrugs, taking the food and putting it on the coffee table.

"Ethan?"

"He knew you were on your way, he had a few errands to run. Told me not to stay up."

"Do you think he has a lead?"

"I don't know." He answers, turning away from me. I stare him down for a long moment. He seems aged. His hair is unkept, he is in a pair of athletic shorts and a white t-shirt, and his eyes are bloodshot. His skin is covered in bruises from his last session, in all honesty it looks like he could use another one, but he isn't healed from the first. Taking a deep breath I start to take my clothes off. "Clayton, what are you doing?" Alec asks. My eyes shoot to his while I undress, saying nothing as I take my naked body to my knees. "Clayton." He protests softly.

"Give me one ligitmate reason to deny me Master." I respond, determined. "I am free of commitments and Bobby would understand." He still looks at me hesitantly. "Ethan has shared you with me for years. So give me one legitimate reason."

"I could really hurt you." He answers, standing up and taking a step toward me.

"I trust you to stop if I safe word."

"It's not an if Clayton, it's a when."

"Hurt me Master, I beg you." I plead, showing no fear.

He grabs my hair and yanks hard. "Safe words."

"Lightning, Thunder, Storm."

"When do you use them?"

"When I am uncomfortable or reached my limit Master."

"Promise me you'll use them Clayton."

"I swear." I answer, reaching out and grabbing his legs, pulling him into me.

"Stand up." He orders. I obey instantly and work to keep my eyes down while he grabs my cock and walks us into his play room.

"I'm going light Clayton, it's been too damn long." He cautions. I say nothing kneeling before him. "Lay on the bench Clayton, stomach up." I follow his order and wait patiently while my arms get bound to the feet of the bench next to my feet and my knees get tied together. He then ties my feet together on top of the bench, forcing my legs into a diamond shape, leaving me exposed and vulnerable. He secures my legs in the same places he secured my hands. I hiss when I feel the nipple clamps being secured. "Breathe." He whispers, tugging on the chain for a moment before walking away. When he comes back he straddles the bench with his back to my head and I feel the most intense pain in my sac. I cry out as the crop's sting travels up my nerves. "Good boy." He praises before hitting my sac again. I grunt, searching my brain, trying to find subspace. I asked for this, for the pain. He is only giving me what I need, but damn it if what I need isn't insane! I focus on my breathing as strike after strike causes sweat to quickly bead on my skin. He is good to me though, refusing to keep every strike clear onto my sac, but my inner thighs hate him just as much. I find myself begging him to stop but he ignores me. Well he doesn't ignore me per say, instead he hits me harder. I try to take it but it is getting too intense, reluctantly I call out softly, "Thunder."

"About time." He scowls, stepping away, letting me catch my breath.

I close my eyes to that, knowing I have not pleased him. I am not left to wallow long as a single tail whip cuts across my stomach. I find myself lifting up from the unexpected pain. "Lightning." I cry out, struggling.

"Breathe for me now." Alec smiles, running his hand through my hair. "This is going to be intense, just like you asked." He steps away and comes back with more rope, securing my upper arms to the bench, which prevents me from sitting up. The next strike is a bit rougher but I was prepared for it and took it much easier. I lay there accepting each blow, crawling into subspace to escape. Tears streak down my cheeks and dang it felt good. Sometime, somehow he switched from the whip to a flogger, but I don't have much memory of it. I only remember the hattachi getting placed on my nut sac while he slipped two lubed fingers into my ass. I whimper, knowing I am going to be denied an orgasm. "Good boy." He smiles, finding my prostate easily and being relentless. "Just breathe, enjoy."

"Master!" I cry out, enjoying it far too much, so much that it is painful to deny myself release. Agony overtakes me while I resist. "Please Master, please may I cum!" I beg.

"No." he answers, not letting up.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" I curse, fighting off my body's natural urges. I struggle against the restraints to no ale. Finally the urge passes only to build again. Knowing I am going to fail if I don't safe word I ride the pleasure as long as I can before I do. Immediately, the pleasure stops, leaving me breathing hard.

"Good." Alec, praises, untying me.

"Please Master, more." I beg. He gives me a look of caution. "Please."

He says nothing as he goes to retrieve a new toy. It is a short, plastic cane. I curse under my breath before I lower my body down and kiss his feet as a thank you. He moves to sit on the bench. "You have the right to safe word Clayton, but you are asking to push me, so I am going to push you in return. If you really want this, you will lay across my lap and stick your ass up." I hesitate, he knows this is a soft limit of mine. Yet he is asking for it. If he was anyone else I would never hesitate, I would simply end it, but it's Alec, my soulmate. Determined to show him what he means to me I drape myself over his legs and position myself as he asks. "Are you sure?" he questions, running his hands over my bare ass.

"Yes Master." I reply confidently, only to grunt from the feel of the sting of one simple stroke. I struggle but he pins me down into his body. I hiss with the second stroke, trying to fall back into subspace. It takes several more before I am even comfortable with the feel of it. I had tossed my hand behind my back in search for his, which he took. Together we pinned my body to his legs and the bench while he delivered each blow. Tears came, but they released so much that I was thankful for them. I didn't safe word, I didn't need to. I trust my Master and he gave me exactly what I needed and ended it when he was sure my body had enough. All too soon he places the cane down and instructs me to kneel for him.

Before he can argue I put my nose in his balls and then lick up his long, thick shaft and swallow him whole. He curses but he doesn't stop me. Instead he leans back and spreads his legs, giving me better access to swallow him down my throat. I do that several times in order to cover his flesh in spite. I raise a hand and start to pump him. He moans his approval while I suck on the tip of his dick. He could hold out for hours if he wanted to and he was in the mood to hold out today. I never stopped, never complained but my jaw finally got his attention when it started to spasm and he was feeling more and more of my teeth. Only then did he order me to stop.

He hands me the lube and I seductively prepare us for something we swore we would never do again. Our eyes meet. "Please Master." I beg. Knowing he was still hesitate of this. He picks me up by my hips and places me on his lap. I grab his shoulders, spreading myself wide, while he presses into my heat. He grabs my dick and kisses me, giving my body time to adjust around him. We move sideways on the bench and he lays down, giving me the ability to straddle him and use my calves to ride his cock. We both curse from the pleasure it feels amazing. I ride him until my legs give out. Only then does he pick me up, taking me to his bed and laying me down. He turns me to my knees and rides me hard for ages before he stops himself. I find myself flipped before I can whimper that he stopped. His mouth is on my cock and I am crying out, gripping the sheets, resisting the urge once more. He lifts his head up swiftly, grabs my hips and shoves his stiff dick back inside my ass where it belongs. I gasp and he lowers himself, kissing me breathless as he slows us down just for a few brief wondrous moments before he grunts, speeds up and fills my ass with his seed. I hold him by the shoulders while he quivers above me. When he comes back to reality he drops down and puts my cock in his mouth but he doesn't tease. "Cum Clayton." I don't have to be told twice to fill his mouth. He swallows then licks me clean.

"Thank you." Alec whispers bringing my sore body into his warm skin. "I didn't even recognize the need."

I don't respond to that right away. I just lay here in bliss wondering how everything got so complicated. Knowing I should I can't seem to stop myself. I roll over and meet his eyes before I can change my mind. "I need this Master. I need you." He looks at me with some surprise. "Please don't deny me." I beg.

"Clayton, starting something while you are trying to figure out what you want is a bad idea."

"No." I argue. "I know I need this. Please Alec, I can't kneel for another."

"Not even Daniel?"

"Especially not him." I answer bitterly. "Not after everything."

"Sounds like you made a choice?" Alec asks.

"Yeah, when you were in the hospital." I admit. "Sorry, I just haven't found the right time to tell you, it seems so trivial."

"Have you told him?"

"He is living with a very distraught woman, I am trying to give Amber the respect she needs before Daniel steals all of Ben's time over something he seen coming a mile away."

"And Mike?"

"If we chose each other you mean?" I respond pointedly. "Alec whoever I chose to date must accept you in my life, not just as my best friend but my Master."

"I'm not sure I can make that type of commitment Clayton." He frowns, looking at my disappointed face. "Bobby asked that Ethan come out of the shadows."

"And how do you feel about that?" I ask, finally able to talk to him about this, without bringing it up myself.

"It shocked me at first but the more I think about it, the more I like the idea." He shrugs.

"So even if Ethan let go of this ridiculous concept of believing he owns you, you would still want him in your life?"

He gives me a sad smile. "He's a part of me Clayton, just as you and Bobby are."

"Forgive me Angel, it's a bitter pill. I will swallow it for you, because you ask but it is taking me some time."

"I know." He whispers.

"Is he the reason why you won't make this commitment to me?" I ask, annoyed.

"No." he answers. "Clayton we ended certain things for a reason."

That hurt and I can't stop the sadness filling my eyes. I understand that he has separated himself from certain feelings a long time ago and this could risk bringing them back. And he doesn't want that. He wants them to stay buried. I don't, but he does. Fuck hurting him all those years ago was by far one of the biggest regrets of my life. "I love you Alec." I respond causing him to drop his eyes down. "So very much." I smile, lightly kissing his lips. "I'm here okay, if you need this again. At least until Bobby gets back."

"Thank you." He whispers.

Not wanting this to get anymore awkward I get up and dress myself, fully aware he is watching me. "I need to get some sleep, I have a meeting tomorrow."

"You could stay." He offers.

"Do you need me to? Can you be alone safely until Ethan returns?"

"I'm fine Clayton." I give him a look, "I promise."

"Okay." I smile, kissing him on the lips before heading out. When I get outside I text Ethan, asking him to come by Alec's sooner rather than later. As much as I hate it the idea of relying on Ethan like this, I hate the idea of leaving Alec alone for too long even more. As for me I couldn't stay. Being rejected because of Bobby is one thing. Being rejected because he doesn't want to confuse his feelings for me with his feelings for Ethan, yeah I can't say I like that much.

Knowing sleep was the last thing I would find tonight I make my way over to Mike's tiny apartment, hoping I was not going to run into Sean. When Mike answers the door it is obvious he is surprised to see me.

"Bad time?"

He studies me. "Kinda, yeah." He admits. "Hang on." He ducks his head backward, tells Sean he'll be a minute and steps out into the parking lot with me.

"I slept with Alec." I blurt out, causing Mike to raise his eyebrow and put his hands in his pockets. I watch his reaction while I pull out my cigarettes from my pocket and lite up. "I mean, as his submissive. Not an Angel submissive, just as a submissive. Well not as a submissive, his submissive. Least I am hoping it is as his submissive and not a one time thing, though he is shying away from it at the moment." I stop my rambling, suddenly worried he won't be okay with this. The idea that this could hurt my changes of him picking me starts to sink in and I look at him in a panic. "Say something."

He shrugs, keeping his hands in his pockets. "What do you want me to say Clay? We are in an open relationship. Alec isn't out of bounds. I mean he is healthy and all of that."

I take a long drag of my smoke. "Yeah, I guess you are right. I'm sorry I interrupted you. I'm gonna go." I frown feeling extremely uncomfortable as I flick the butt of my cigarette onto the concrete.

"Clay." Mike responds reaching my hand and pulling me into him. "I am not a jealous man." He wraps his arms around me. "We haven't made any rules here, so how could sleeping with Alec break anything?"

"I know, I'm sorry." I reply nervous, "I just need you to be okay with this, in the long run."

"Okay with what exactly? An open relationship?"

"No, well, more of a semi-exclusive one." He waits for me to explain that. "I am a switch Mike and I am asking you to be okay if I chose Alec as my Master and you as my submissive."

"If that is what you need Clay, but Alec has to be on board with it."

"Just like that?"

"Like I said, I am not a jealous man. And I am not a switch, I am a submissive. You can fulfill my need, I knew going in I would have to share you. And you are making it easy, you have kneeled for him before, hell you still do as an Angel. This makes sense to me."

"If you submit to me then you will kneel for no one else. I get that in all fairness I might have to share you in the vanilla world, but if you want to kneel for me you are mine and I am never letting you go."

His eyes flash. "That is a beautiful offer, but you understand I am not ready to accept any sort of contract right now." He looks at me, his eyes filling with tears, "Levi was my Master for nearly ten years."

His eyes are so sad, my heart literally hurts for a moment but the sensation passes. I pull him closer to me. "I understand. There is no pressure or deadline, I just want you to heal. When you are ready, let me know."

"I promise, you'll be the first." He answers, holding me tightly. "I need to go, I don't want Sean to worry."

"Apologize for me." I smile, pulling away. "I should go, big day tomorrow. Get some rest." I kiss his lips softly and walk away.


	29. Spontaneous

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Spontaneous**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

Two days later, Mike surprises me by walking into the office. He should be home but he is not only defying that by being here, he is in his damn suit. "Before you say anything Boss, please know I need to work."

"You're welcome to it." I smile. "As long as you are sure."

"Thanks Boss." He smiles. "What are you working on?"

"Everything." I mutter. "Zach signed a contract last and all the start up is overwhelming but transition went well in the office, which is a plus."

"What can I do to help?" he asks.

"This." I answer handing him a pile of paperwork. Him and I don't talk while we work. When we both look up from everything we are both proud of what we accomplished and surprised at the time.

"I've forgotten how much I can do with my office in working order." I yawn with a stretch.

"I've forgotten how good it feels to get lost in something. I needed that, thank you." He smiles.

"You up for dinner or do you have plans?" I ask, dropping my arms.

"Dinner's good." He answers me, turning his head away too quickly.

"Everything alright?" I ask, questioning his body language.

"You wouldn't still be willing to offer Sean that overseas job would you?"

I raise my eyebrow in complete shock, "Umm, I'm not sure. I thought you wanted me to stay out of your dating life and stop pushing your boyfriends away."

"Is that your way of saying you aren't going to help me break up with him?" He asks, looking defeated.

"It's not my place to help you do that." I argue. Surprised that he wants to.

"I know, but I'm asking anyway." He responds, cleaning up the reports he had spread out on the table.

"Which is making me ask why? You two seem really close." Mike's eyes shoot to mine, confirming my observation. "So why do you want him half a world away?"

"I told him everything, kinda, more a broad stroke overview. He isn't dealing very well. And if he stays, he's at risk." He has a hurt look on his face but he corrects his features quickly, "I'm asking Clay, please."

"If you're sure."

"I am." I nod at his conviction.

"I've been avoiding Daniel." I confess. "I don't know what to say to him."

"Define avoiding."

"I haven't seen or spoken to him since the funerals. He has tried to drop in but I haven't accepted his visits or calls."

"So you're ending it through silence?" He questions, causing me to shrug, "That's kinda cold Clay."

"I'm cold?" I defend. "He wanted to talk about our relationship when I told him about our friends' death." The memory leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. "I want nothing to do with him."

"Then be a man and end it." Mike looks at my resolved face and adds. "You realize that scares the hell out of me right?"

"What does?"

"Your ability to end relationships so definitely."

I give him a half smile, " _You_ don't have anything to be afraid of."

"Don't I?"

"No." I begin cleaning up my desk. "I ended it with you once remember. Yet I was unable to cut you out of my life."

"Hard to forget." He sighs, packing his things. "Still, you probably thought that about Daniel once."

His doubt strikes a nerve. He wasn't half wrong on that. But Mike is different. And I need him to understand how. "Marry me." I blurt out.

"What?"

"I'm serious. Marry me." I reply smiling widely.

"Sorry Clay, but your engagements are a death sentence to your relationships. I actually want us to work out." Mike replies, putting his pen in his suit coat.

"Who said anything about engagement?" I ask undeterred. "I have a plane, let's go to Vegas, tonight."

"Seriously?" he asks, in disbelief.

I cautiously stand up from my desk and close the short distance between us. Three months ago this would have been impossible, now it feels weird but it isn't pushing any limits. Mike is watching me with curiosity while I walk behind him. I wrap my arms around his body and slowly move us to the front of my desk. "Do you remember how we got together?" My lips find his neck as I press his front legs to my desk. I kiss up to his ear. "You told me off for self-destructing right before your eyes and you saved me." I kiss back down to his favorite spot, causing him to reach behind him and grab the back of my legs, moaning. I move my lips to the back of his neck and move to the other side, taking my time licking and sucking before I bring my lips to his other ear. "You scared the hell out me. I had no idea I had even fallen for you until I already had. It was so natural, so perfect." I suck on his earlobe while I bring my right hand above his chin and pull his head back, exposing the front of his neck. He quivers from the soft kisses I am leaving on his skin. I move my lips back to his ear. "I tried so damn hard to run away from you but you wouldn't let me. You waited patiently for me to realize there is no escape from you." I drop my lips again, moving to the back of his neck, back to his favorite spot before sucking on his other ear. "I don't want to escape you Mike, I am sorry I ever tried."

"Clay." He gasps.

"You have my heart." I whisper. "Please Mike will you give me the honor of being your husband?" He spins around in my arms, staring at me for a damn eternity, saying nothing. Unable to hold my breath any longer I ask again, "Will you?"

Suddenly he is kissing me, devouring me with passion. When he lets us breathe he is smiling.

"Yes, Clay I will." He answers devouring me again. He breaks away, catching his breath. "Tonight? Please Clay, did you mean it when you said tonight?"

"I did." I smile, trying to kiss him but he yanks his head away so I settle for his neck, driving him crazy as I bite and suck his skin, while I try to work his shirt and tie off.

"Good then let's go." He responds causing me stop what I am doing and pull away. "I am serious, I don't want to wait another minute."

"We can't just enjoy the moment?" I ask, grabbing his hard cock between his pants.

"No." he responds pushing my hand away. "I don't want to be just another fiancé of yours Clay. I want to be your husband. So walk me down the damn aisle already so I can be the only man who will ever have such an honor."

"God your possessiveness is so fucking hot." I bitch, pulling him into me and marking his neck.

"You're mine." He whispers seductively, marking me in return. When he breaks away he is begging, "Please, Clay can we go?"

"Call who you need to get the plane ready." I agree. "We need to swing by my place and pack some clothes."

He gently pushes me away. "No more touching until we are ready to go."

I laugh, pulling him back into me. "Shut up and kiss me." I demand, biting his lower lip.

We get lost in each other, leaving marks and causing moans. The feel of his nails dragging down my skin is amazing. He only manages to curb my hunger for him by asking me to wait for us to say our vows before we fuck. Quickly we leave the office, make a quick stop at his tiny apartment and then head to my place, so we can change clothes.

On our way out Alec surprises me by walking in. "Hey."

"Hey." He frowns. "I hope you don't mind but Ethan is traveling and I really don't want to be at my place alone."

"No it's good, it's just, we're on our way out for the night." I explain, unsure why I am being cryptic. "Want to join?"

"No." he frowns. "I can go."

"Nonsense, you are already here. Stay. We'll be back in the morning." I smile. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"Yeah, I just need sleep and I can't sleep in my bed alone. Not without Bobby."

"I understand." I nod.

He gives me a weak smile and heads off to bed. "Clayton." He calls over his shoulder, "Call or text Daniel already. I don't need him showing up at my work because you are avoiding him. Whatever the hell it is deal with it. I am not a fucking messenger."

"Sorry, I'll deal with him tomorrow. Promise." I call after his retreating form feeling suddenly helpless. "Fuck Mike, I don't know how to help him."

"There is nothing more we can do for him tonight Clay." Mike whispers in my ear. "He's safe here."

"I know," I whisper, taking his hand.

I take a step to the front door but Mike doesn't move, causing me to stop and look at him. "No Clay not like this. I need you to concentrate on me, to make this choice with no distractions." He kisses me and nibbles my ear. "Say my name Clay."

"Mike." I whisper.

"Where are we going?" he asks, biting down on my shoulder.

"To Vegas, we are getting married tonight." I moan, biting his shoulder through his shirt.

He moans. "Fuck Clay I am dripping so badly."

I smile at him and lead him outside. There we find our driver and car waiting to take us to the airport. The moment we close the back doors we are attacking each other, not coming up for air until we reach the airport. Our teasing continues throughout our sub sequential flight. We share small things about each other that the other might not know, between hot as hell kisses and marks. When we land I insist on stopping at a very fancy jewelers after we obtain our marriage license. I demand to see the very best of the best and Mike and I are presented with fifteen rings to choose from.

"Pick one handsome." I tell him, as I hold his back to my chest.

"I don't need anything elaborate Clay." He argues.

"You need something you love." I smile on his shoulder. "Hate them, something more modern, flashy but stylish." I tell the clerk. He gives me a look of annoyance. In no mood for a grouch, I snap at the guy, "I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself didn't I?" I smile, for once actually needing my fame on my side. "I am Clayton Reynolds, of Blackboard Entertainment, and I really want to swipe my fancy black American Express card here. But if you are too inconvenienced with helping my very soon to be husband love his ring, we can go elsewhere."

"No not at all!" The man smiles, waving his hands, "Wait here, we have a wide selection I am sure we can find something amazing!" The clerk smiles, "Wait just a moment I will find some more stylish options." He walks off and starts picking out rings, nervously checking to make sure we are not leaving.

"Now I feel special." Mike laughs, "You hate admitting who you are in public."

"You are special, very, very special." I assure him. While Mike looks at the variety of rings he is presented, I call and text my lawyer repeatedly until he wakes the fuck up. When he does I demand that he sends me an updated prenuptial agreement immediately. Promising compensation for my late hour, complete rush and no questions on the sudden name change. While I am waiting on the documents, Mike finds a ring that causes his eyes to sparkle. It had no diamonds to it but it was a greenish black and made of titatuim. "Looks like we have a winner. We'll take two and have them engraved."

"Actually, we only want the one." Mike corrects me, taking me off guard. He turns to me, slightly nervous. "I've had this for a while." He explains handing me a red velvet box. Curious I open it and find a bluish black wedding band inside. I smile at him.

"It's beautiful Mike." I smile. I kiss him softly before turning to the clerk, "We want both of these engraved." I tell the clerk.

"Of course." He said, looking slightly disappointed that he lost half a sale. "What would you like them to say?"

"Willfully surrendered forever, no way out." I smile. Causing Mike to beam.

We leave the jewelry store and my phone pings. It's an email from my lawyer with a document attached. God I love the internet, all I need is a finger to sign with and everything is legal and done. "Mike baby, there is just one thing." I whisper, causing him to lift his fingers to my lips.

"I need you to sign this. It's business baby, nothing else." I assure him.

"What is it?" he asks skeptical, he drops his hand.

"A pre-nump." I answer honestly, taking his hand. He looks at me offended. "Please, don't look at me like that, you know what I went through to create my business." He drops my hand. "Mike, if you love me you will sign this damn thing and we will never have to deal with any of this bullshit again. It won't matter, forever surrender. Remember?"

"It just feels like a safety net. Like you don't really want this." He complains. "Come on Clay I am the third guy you promised to marry you."

"And the only man I plan on marrying." I respond firmly. "Mike, I take marriage very seriously, one time gig type seriously. We have a marriage license. We are on our way to a chapel. And yes, this is a safety net. One I agreed to with my investors from the beginning. Legally if you don't sign now or with a post-nump, then I lose everything." I explain.

He glares as he takes my phone, signs and initials what he needs to and hits submit. Once my lawyer verifies all is legal and good, I direct our driver to go to find the most tasteful place in Vegas that is open at three o'clock in the morning.

We are taken to this venue that has an indoor garden. Surround by the most beautiful and intoxicating plants. Mike had managed to order us both tuxedos while receiving a distracting blow job on our fight to Los Vegas and we quickly found changing rooms so we could be at our best. I was disappointed yet happy these suits covered all our marks on one another. I purchase the supreme package which includes photography and we say 'I do.' With some reluctance from Mike and some assistance from the venue, I physically stood up and became Mike's husband. It took all of fifteen minutes and the pain was present but it was worth the sacrifice.

Lawfully married we get back in the car to find the driver had put a 'Just hitched' sign on the back. All the way to the airport we receive honks, that we barely noticed because we are wrapped up in one another. After take off I turn to him. "Now Mike?"

"Now my love." he smiles, as we work to get one another naked.

I have to admit being the nervous flyer that I am. I never expected to consummate my marriage in an airplane a mile high from planet Earth but fucking hell I am so damn happy it was. Mike begged me to top him and then he topped me. Making everything complete, perfect. When we are close to our decent we dress ourselves and hold onto one another happily exhausted and content.

When we land I feel a sharp pain in my chest but it went away quick enough. I chose to ignore it and half wonder if flying was a good idea so close to heart surgery. We find my normal driver is waiting to take us home and when we get there Alec is drinking his morning coffee at my kitchen table. "How was your night out?" He asks, yawning.

"Amazing." I smile. "We got married."

"I'm sorry what?" He blinks in shock and grabs my left hand and then Mikes. "Without a best man you fucker?" he asks me, obviously wounded but hiding it with a smile and a gentle right hook on the arm.

"When we have a real ceremony, you will be my best man Alec." I assure him. "But I want Bobby at your side." He flinches. "You watched the video Angel, my ma'ma told me to follow my heart, so I did."

"Congratulations." Alec smiles, getting up from his chair to hug me and then Mike. "Fuck it feels good to get some good news for a change." He walks over to the coffee machine and make myself and Mike a cup of coffee before we gather at the kitchen table. "Where did you go?"

"Vegas." I answer. "Neither of us wanted an engagement, I tend to have bad luck with those, so we decided to just go for it."

"So you gave no one else any warning either?"

"Nope, we just went for it." I smile.

"I don't mean to be a downer here Clayton but when you do things like this, you tend to use your fame card."

"You're point." I ask annoyed.

"I think Daniel and Sean should hear it from you and not some internet rag." Alec shrugs.

Mike and I sit down at the table. "Sean pretty much ended it. He couldn't deal with the idea that I and thus him and I might be in danger."

"I'm sorry." Alec frowns.

"His loss." Mike shrugs, taking a drink of coffee.

"And Daniel?" Alec asks me.

"If I never speak to him again it will be too soon." I frown, causing Alec to raise an eyebrow. "He's not for me Alec." I reply. "I don't owe him an explanation as to why."

"I know you've had your mind made up for a while but this attitude I and avoidance is not like you. Mind telling me what gives?"

"He's a selfish asshole who doesn't understand priorities." I snap. "He cared more about our relationship than our friends dying." Alec looks up from his coffee, surprised and wounded. "Now you know why I haven't said anything. This shit is hard enough, you don't need his damn drama on top of it." I shrug. "But you are right, this will get ugly fast if I don't tell him. Plus, I want him to leave you alone. I'm sorry he came to you."

Alec sets down his coffee. "You realize you need to do this in person right? Unless you want him to flip out and cause a media frenzy."

I close my eyes and Mike squeezes my hand. "It's okay Clay, I am more than happy to stand by you through this. Whatever you need."

"I am going to do this alone." I warn.

"I understand." He assures me. Mike's phone begins to ping and he frowns. "I think we need breakfast meetings, preferably before they turn on the news."

"Seriously?"

"The jeweler has a big mouth." Mike mutters. "I can try to mute it for a few hours but if this has gone viral. . ."

Cursing I turn my chair around and head back to my car. The morning shift driver is there to greet me. "Ben and Amber's" I tell him, truly annoyed that I am not able to drive myself yet. "And can we hurry? I am trying to beat the morning news."

"Sure thing." He smiles rushing to get us both into the car.

We manage to get to my destination in under fifteen minutes. Considering it is usually a thirty minute drive I am impressed. I am helped into my chair quickly and I ring the bell. Ben answers annoyed, takes one look at me and frowns. "Why the fuck are you in a tux?"

"Shit." I curse, stripping off the coat and dress shirt, grateful I was wearing a t-shirt. I wave my driver over and hand him my clothes. While I try to explain to Ben. "I need to see Daniel. Turn off your internet and televisions . . . please."

"What did you do?" He immediately accuses.

"Something you are going to hate me for. Please, this is hard enough, let it happen with as much respect as I can give it."

"Fine, but the moment he kicks you out, you are no longer welcome here."

"I figured." I sigh following him into his house.

I give a sad smile to Amber. She gives me one look and her eyes widen. Then she points to the ring on my finger. I nod, mouth 'thank you' and put it in my pants pocket. She walks over and hugs me. "I love you Clayton but I am going to be forced to hate you." She whispers in my ear.

"I know." I smile. "But if you ever need anything, my door is always open to you." She squeezes me and walks away.

"Clayton? What are you doing here?" Daniel asks, coming down the stairs followed by a guy I have never seen before and then Ben.

"Can we talk? Alone?"

"No," the stranger replies. Daniel looks at him and then me.

"You must be Isaac." I frown lifting a hand in greeting while sizing him up. At least the man is sexy.

"This is my turf, my rules." He states refusing my hand.

"Daniel I came to apologize." I sigh, ignoring Isaac's possessiveness.

"For what? Ignoring me? It seriously took me going to Alec to get your attention." he asks annoyed.

"About that." I frown. "Alec is not in a good place right now Daniel. So much so that I'm not really talking to him about anything going on in my life. He doesn't need surprise visits like that."

"I wouldn't have had to resorted to that had you could pick up your phone or schedule a damn meeting with me." He bitches.

"I've had a lot going on Daniel." I frown, annoyed that I am in this stupid fight.

"Well as you can see today is a bad day." Isaac chimes in. "This is my day, you can fit into Daniel's schedule from now on."

"That is not going to be necessary." I frown.

"What the hell does that mean?" Daniel asks confused. When I don't answer him his eyes widen and he takes a step back, looking me over for the first time. "You made a decision."

"A rather permanent one yes." I answer, putting my hand in my pocket and slipping on my wedding band, pulling my hand out casually. "I'm sorry Daniel, but my heart didn't lead me to you." I respond, unsure what else to say.

Daniel notices the jewelry immediately. He stares at it, knowing it isn't his. Tears fill his eyes but they aren't spilling. "You're engaged?" He swallows hard. "That hurts." He admits. "But I still have a chance right? I mean you aren't married and engagements fall through."

"Ours fell through." I correct him feeling another slight pain in my chest but this one is not as sharp. Ignoring it I continue, "Daniel …" I hesitate, trying to figure out how to put this into words, "I married Mike this morning." It takes a moment for him to absorb what I said. Once he comprehends he drops to his knees, pain all over his face.

"Get out!" Ben screams at me.

I don't argue or try to stay. I know I hurt Daniel. Yet even seeing him in so much pain I don't have an instinct to ignore his best friend and pull Daniel into me. Instead, I simply leave and with the help of my driver I get back in my car. As I study my wedding ring I get asked where to. "Work." I respond. Knowing as we pull away, I did indeed make the right choice.

When I arrive I have my driver attempt to pull around front but it is blocked with fans. Some with congrats signs, some with heartbreak signs. I moan, realizing I have to explain to them that I didn't marry the fiancé they were expecting me to. Cursing I make my way to the back entrance and find Zach smiling and congratulating me and offering me the sanctuary of my office where my new husband is waiting. Eagerly I roll in and find my office lights on low and Mike in business casual clothes. "Would you like to change out of that tux?" he asks. "Or what is left of it?"

"Yeah. I was trying not to rub it in too badly. The coat and shirt are in the car." I look him curious. "Are you at least going to tell Sean? Not that it is his business, but I think he deserves to know. He seemed like a nice enough guy. You can't hate him for fearing mortal danger."

"I don't." Mike shrugs. "Gonna try the whole friend thing. But he was more than happy to take the job overseas and he seemed supportive of my choice in husbands. I think I surprised him with how quickly we acted but I am sure that is going to be a common response." Mike reaches over and takes off my shoes, "How did it go with Daniel?"

"As expected." I reply dryly. Shaking my head and I turn to business at hand, "We can't do business casual Mike, we have a press conference." I mutter, rubbing my chest and getting some relief.

"Pretty sure I know your schedule Boss. No such press conference."

"We have to talk to that mob. Radio silence on my marriage, especially to a man they were not expecting, is only going to cause chaos which puts us and our bands at risk." I bitch.

"You need sleep before you talk to the press." He complains.

"No." I dismiss. "I need my husband to help me bandage and stretch my feet. Then I need to stand up at a podium like I did this morning with you and talk to my fans." He gives me a look of protest. "Mike if I don't use my feet I risk tearing the graft. I know I can't overdo it but I can't be overly cautious either. It's a balance thing. Trust me, my physical therapist has me brain washed on this."

He nods. "I will go get us some clothes and schedule a press conference. I will even work with Zach to get a quick photo gallery going for the media."

"Thank you."

"Alec is here. He needs to be at work Clay but he wanted to see you."

"Are you surprised?"

"No." he admits. "I do want to bring him some help from here though. Have some bands volunteer their time. He needs it if he is going to be hunting for Bobby and keep those kids interested."

"Not a problem, tell him please. Let it start today."

"Of course." He smiles.

"I just need to know one thing." Mike adds. I look at him curiously, "I know this morning wasn't easy. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am. Don't get me wrong, I feel like a complete asshole but I don't have any regrets." I assure him. "I made the right choice Mike."

"Good." He smiles, walking up to me and kissing me. "I will be back."

He steps out and I pull my bag out to sift through my meds. Not even ten seconds after my husband leaves me my best friend walks through the door. We stare each other down for the longest time before I break eye contact and continue with getting the right dosage of meds.

"Have you slept?" he asks.

"No." I answer swallowing my pills dry.

"Make sure they use extra makeup to hide the circles." I glare, he knows I hate wearing make up. "Yeah because you want your fans to think he ages you."

"Fuck up." I smile, swallowing hard to get the pills unstuck from inside my throat.

"This hurts Angel." He admits, sitting down on the chair Mike just vacated. "I know it was my choice all the way up to burying you ma'ma. I don't regret choosing Bobby but this hurts like hell."

"I'm sorry." I whisper taking his scarred hand it mine. "I'm not going anywhere. Nothing has changed between us. Mike of all people knows and understands the workings of us."

"I know, I'm sorry." He whispers, drying his eyes. "You just caught me off guard. I saw you two last night and you didn't say a word. Had I known I would have gone with you in a heartbeat."

"I wasn't in the mood for logic and reason." I shrug. "Thus the vauge."

"Clayton are you going to regret this?"

"No." I assure him. "Seeing Daniel in that much pain . . . I was numb to it Alec. Him and I, were just broke. And life is too short to fix things that I know deep down, no matter the reason, I cannot forgive. Especially after knowing all those lies about Liam. It was just too much."

"Some of that wasn't his fault." Alec surprisingly defends.

"But it was." I argue. "Don't you see Angel? You always told me you were holding back. I accepted that. He never once attempted to give me such a warning. That is the difference. That is why I love and trust you. But it wasn't just that. He's just to wrapped up in himself and I am so sick of it."

"I can't say I blame you." He gives a half shrug, "I love you Clayton. And for the record, I like Mike, I trust him, and I was hoping he would win out. "

"Good." I smile, overjoyed to hear that. "Now go hunt his sexy ass down and ask him what his good news for you is." Alec raises and eyebrow. "Go on, his idea he should be the one to tell you."

"Okay, going. But I am serious about the make up." Annoyed I toss one of my dress shoes at him on his way out.

Twenty minutes later I am in a damn dressing room getting makeup and making Mike do the same, despite his protest. In my opinion the only good thing coming out of this is my hair stylist insisted on washing both of our hair. This meant he had to rush but damn I always feel better with clean hair. While we are getting camera ready I have Zach sitting in.

"I know in a few weeks will be your first opener with Eyes of Seduction." I tell him through a mirror. "And I know I need to hire someone to fill your position A.S.A.P to relieve you and your wife." I turn to Mike. "God, what I would give to not have burned my bridge with Amber right now." I turn back to Zach. "But this is going to be huge and I need you both on this as best you can."

"Boss it's fine, we do well under pressure and I know my line up. I promise I will be okay." Zach assures me. Mike and I both exchange a worried look, knowing what he is about to encounter.

"I would suggest Monica and Lilly help out." Mike sighs, "But they are pissed they weren't invited and you still need to smooth that over. Not to mention they are in the same boat as Zach here." I moan as I think about having to make this up to the girls. "What about Ryan?" Mike suggests.

"You are kidding right? I know I said to make him hate his job but having him deal with is ex-fiancé's sudden marriage seems a little below the belt. Besides the last time he had to deal with the press it ended very badly."

"Ahh forgot about that." Mike recalls. "I have a wild suggestion that you are going to hate." He bites his lower lip causing me to glare and get barked at by my makeup artist. "Daniel used Ethan before he met Amber."

"You're right, Ryan would be perfect." I reply sarcastically.

"It's temporary Clay." Mike reminds me.

"And that is going to help Ethan find Bobby how?" I ask, annoyed.

"My wife and I can handle it." Zach assures us. "You guys are overtired and making a mountain out of a mole hill here."

"No offense Zach but your wife wouldn't happen to have a public relations degree?"

"No, pre-law." He answers.

"I can think of worse degrees." Mike smiles.

"Okay then you two are in charge of what our public relations department releases and what they don't. Don't allow anyone to go off script. You two are in charge of the one offs. If you are unsure, ask, never assume. And if you need to pull from other departments do so. Public relations and security need to be on high alert."

"You two deal with your end, then get some sleep, I got your back no worries." Zach smiles.

Not long after being reassured Zach and his wife can handle this, Mike and I find ourselves on a stage. I lift myself up and lean on the podium and have my chair taken away before I allow the press conference to commence. I flinch at all the damn camera flashes, they are awful during normal times but these meds only make my head spin.

"Mr. Reynolds, Mr. Reynolds." I am greeted with all too familiar reports.

"I would like to make a short statement before we begin." I smile, feeling the pain in my chest again and annoyed it isn't going away. I do my best to ignore it, now is not the time to show weakness. "Everyone, I would like to introduce you to my husband Mike Walker-Reynolds. Mike happens to be manager of our operations department here at Blackboard Entertainment. Now everyone here knows I am a private person when it comes to my personal life, and looking at the familiar faces in the crowd, you also know exactly how much I value my privacy. Some of you can even contest that your bosses have received a few nasty grahams over the years because of it." The crow laughs at this. "That said, we are willing to answer a few questions but when we say enough, we mean enough."

"Sarah yes, you have the floor."

"Thank you, first off congratulations to the both of you." She smiles. We both thank her. "Forgive me but I believe everyone here wants to know. What happened to your engagement to Daniel Kingsley, and how did you end up suddenly married to your once long time personal assistant?"

"Daniel and I put or engagement on hold over half a year ago. Things simply didn't work out." I squeeze Mikes hands, "Mike and I, we simply fit."

"Mr. Reynolds, Mr. Reynolds!"

"Was Daniel Kingsley aware of your relationship with Mike? Were you two having an affair?" Jim asks, causing my eyes to flare.

"Respectable questions are all I am willing to answer." I snap.

"Yes, Daniel was aware of our relationship." Mike answers, rubbing my back to calm me down. Normally it takes more for them to push my buttons but I am running on no sleep and standing with chest pain isn't helping my cause. "Which occurred during a long pause in theirs. I am not the source of their break up. Recent personal events, in their relationship, caused things to end. When it did, Clayton granted me the honor of being his husband."

"Clayton are you sure this isn't a knee jerk reaction to losing your mother?" a reporter I don't recognize pipes up.

"Absolutely not. My mother supported my happiness, a still does. May she rest in peace."

"Did you sign a pre-nump Mr. Walker-Reynolds?" James who is always looking at the legal angle pipes up.

"That's personal." Mike laughs. "But the investors can rest easy, Clayton and I did abide by Blackboard Entertainments bi-laws."

"Is that a yes?"

"That is a yes." Mike confirms.

"Mr. Reynolds, how long have you been walking?" Eliza asks with a smile on her face.

"Standing is more like it." I smile at her. "I am progressing nicely, thank you for asking."

"Well I have to, you promised to walk me down the red carpet as soon as you were able." She teases.

"I assure you, I will." I reply, flashing a smile.

"Mr. Reynolds." The non-familiar reporter pipes up again. "Is it true you ended your relation with Daniel Kingsley because of sketchy relations in his past?"

I officially lose my patience and point to my security giving the cue to ban this bitch for life. "No. I don't know who your unreliable sources are but you are no longer welcome."

Mike smiles, taking over the microphone. "Would anyone like to see our wedding photos?"

The crowd gives a few whistles and cheers in approval.

"There is a complimentary copy of this slideshow for each of you." Mike smiles, showing off some photos. "We will be having a glorious reception in the near future. And to be honest considering our friends reaction, we might also have a possible second ceremony in the future. If you are good to us, you may even get an invite." Mike laughs. "That is all for now, thank you."

"Eliza!" I call after the microphone is turned off and the reporters take the hint to leave.

"Mr. Reynolds?"

"Come by tomorrow for an exclusive interview if you would like." I encourage getting back into my wheelchair. "Also if you can get away I have free V.I.P. tickets for you in Kansas next week. _Eyes of Seduction_ has a new opener and you have a great ear for new music.

"Thank you, I would like that very much." She smiles. "What is your assistant's name?"

"Today it's Zachary." I smile. "I'll explain more tomorrow. But call him today to get things set up."

"Thank you Mr. Reynolds. It really is good to see you back on your feet." She smiles and leaves the room.

"An exclusive?" Mike asks, helping me back to my chair when the last press person leaves the room.

"I want a foundation to our relation. A rare behind the scenes look on how we started, ended and restarted."

"That is rather a lot for someone who keeps his life private." Mike sighs.

Catching his non-enthusiasm I pull him into my lap. "Is this lack of sleep or something else?" I ask putting my forehead on his cheek.

"Lack of sleep isn't helping the situation." He mutters. "But I don't like the idea of becoming the famous Mr. Walker-Reynolds. I want you Clay, the way we have always been."

"We will be, but this has to blow over first handsome." I promise. "Especially since I plan on having you on my arm in all of the red carpet events from now on. Please baby, don't hate the fame, it is a part of me."

"I don't like the idea of opening up to a reporter about our false start." He frowns.

"Would you rather they make you the enemy? Do you want that Mike?"

"Tabloids are going to do that anyway. Half will hate me, half will hate Daniel."

"I can't deny that." I frown, stroking his arm. "But this is a great way to promote Zach for free." I smile. "We will concentrate on that mostly okay. I promise."

"Don't promise when you lie to me." He whispers, turning to kiss my lips.

"Fine, I promise to try to keep it mostly about Zach." He smiles on my lips as a thank you. "We need sleep."

"Agreed." He laughs.

"I want Zach to contact Daniel and if he won't answer contact Amber. I know Daniel has his own resources but the least I can do is offer security from the press. They are going to hound him."

"Okay." Mike whispers.

"I also want to know everything about that reporter I banned, including her sources."

"Yeah that was a bit creepy" he agrees, wearily.

"Whoever she is she needs to be silenced. She is playing way to close to a fire that will burn not only her but has the potential of putting all of us at risk."

"I'm on it boss." He yawns. I look at him strangely, he hasn't called me that in days. Then I realize he fell asleep on me. Smiling I reach for my phone and text Ethan. "Had a strange reporter today, asking all kinds of the wrong questions. Find the leak."

Exhausted myself I take us back upstairs and to my office. Telling Zach not to disturb until at least two o'clock. In reality it is only a few hours away but something is better than nothing. I roll into my office, and keep the lights off and simply lean on my husband and fall asleep with him.


	30. Loyalties

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Loyalties**

 **Alec's Point of View**

I find Mike before I leave to discover that I am getting some much welcomed help at the youth center. I know he can see the look of relief on my face and he gives me a list of a few band members who are able to help me today and tells me he will email a list of the next month by the end of the day. I could not be more grateful.

When I arrive I find a lot of curious faces staring at me. "Hey Mr. Alec what is this shit about your boyfriend marrying his assistant?" One of my kids ask.

"Stuff." I correct him. "You want to ask me questions, you know better than to disrespect."

"Sorry, stuff." He mutters.

"My best friend, not my boyfriend, married his operations manager." I reply, tired of this already. "Have you forgotten Mr. Bobby and I are a couple?"

"No man, we just figured. I don't know you had them both." The kids laugh.

"Wasn't Mr. Clayton engaged to someone else?"

"Yes." I confirm. "But engagements don't always lead to marriages."

"Are you and Mr. Bobby ever going to get married?"

I pause at that one. "I don't know." I finally answer.

"Has he come home yet?" the youngest in the group asks.

"No, and he didn't abandon you guys okay. The police have an active investigation going. This is not like Mr. Bobby at all. He would be here for you, even if him and I broke up."

"Are you sure?" one of the kids ask.

"Yes." I answer firmly.

"How do we find him? Because these flyers you have been making are not helping."

"I don't know." I reply honestly. "But I do know that I have some special guests coming over the next few months that might bring you guys something fun to talk about."

"Oh yeah?" one of the kids challenges.

"Yeah. I have rock stars lined up to volunteer here every day for the next month."

"Cool!" they all agree before they spread out to find things to keep them entertained.

Needing the distraction I join them for a basketball game or three. And then I make sure they all get fed. By the time lunch is over my volunteer is here which leaves me time to catch up on office work that I have been neglecting.

When I do sit down I pull out my untraceable cell phone and call the only number on it. "Alec?"

"I know we just met and it was something awful but Ethan, I am begging you to let me see you tonight." I cry.

"This about Clayton?" he asks.

"Clayton, Bobby." I reply trying to keep my composure. "Everything hurts. Please Sir. I need you."

"Come by after work." He responds, his voice softening a little.

"Thank you Sir." I whisper hanging up the phone and fighting tears. The last thing I need is for these kids to see me fall apart.

A few hours into my day I hear a knock on my door and see a beautiful woman giving me the stink eye. "Friends help friends you know. All you have to do is ask."

"Sorry Amber, but I was under the strong impression Daniel got you in the divorce and I got Clayton." I challenge.

"I'm not saying they Ben and Daniel are happy to know I am here but fuck them. You and I were friends before Daniel and Clayton were ever a thing. It's not our fault it didn't work out. Our friendship shouldn't be affected." She replies a little too rehearsed and I can tell it wasn't the first time she's presented this argument today.

"Thanks. It's nice to know." I smile. "So I take it you heard about Clayton and Mike. You wouldn't happen to be here because you are worried about how I am taking this new development?"

"Damn skippy." She confirms, never one to sugar coat. "I met you when you and Clay were an item remember. I know this hurts Alec, Bobby or no Bobby, you love Clayton, always will."

"I'm fine." I assure her.

"Fine my ass. You've been poisoned, your boyfriend has disappeared into thin air, your best friends are murdered and now your soulmate marries someone who isn't you. All within a few months. How the hell are you still standing?"

"If I told you Ethan is helping me through it would you judge me?"

"Yes and no. I am grateful you have someone helping you." She frowns. "I just wish he wasn't your go to."

"He's not." I half lie. "But my usual go tos are currently the problem."

"I take offense." She snobs. "We have had our fun in the past. Since when did I become below a man who claims to own you?" I don't answer her. "Do not tell me your heart got involved." She frowns.

"Hearts are not designed to be logical." I shrug.

"Oh Alec." She whispers.

"He's in love with me. And sometimes, I don't fight the fact that I love him too."

"You don't suspect Ethan has anything to do with Bobby disappearing?"

"No, I don't. Bobby walked out of that hospital, clearly stating that he wanted our relationship. He had his own personal dragon to fight, Amber. And instead of coming to me for help he tries to play crusader and gets himself in a situation where I have no idea where he is or how to help." I lean back in my chair. "He didn't trust me, and because of that, he could be dead for all I know."

"He trusted you Alec, he was just trying to protect you." Amber frowns. "Xzavier is his world. So are you. He spoke with Daniel for heaven's sake, just trying to track his brother down. How was I to know that would cause him to blimp out of existence?"

"Why am I not surprised he talked to you." I smile. Her and Bobby connected almost immediately and truth be told they are way closer than her and I ever will be.

"If I knew anything that would help find him, you know I would tell you." Amber promises me.

"Daniel swears he left unharmed." I shrug. "Question is, where the hell did he go after that? What did Daniel say that caused him to do whatever it is he is doing? Or did he call his source again with conformations? I can run a million scenarios by you. I have thought of them all. I am doing everything I know to do to bring him home."

"Bobby could have found him. But what if Xzavier didn't want to be found?" she questions. "Alec, they had a pretty bad falling out when they were younger. Xzavier ran away."

"You're killing me Amber." I bitch putting my face in my heads.

"Do you need a session?" she offers.

"I need to kneel." I sigh. "And your hard limits are too limiting for what I am craving."

"Comments like that scare the hell out of me Alec."

"I trust Ethan, Amber. He takes me to where I need to go and he brings me back. Has been for years."

"I don't like it. Can't do a damn thing about it, but I don't like it."

"Actually you can." I smile. "Help me run this place. It's too big for one person and the rock concert volunteers are great but it won't be enough. I'll pay you."

"I was waiting for you to ask." She smiles. "Where do we start?"

Amber and I worked the day away. I wasn't able to help her as much as I had hoped because a lot of kids wanted the one on one consoling time that had fallen through the cracks since Bobby disappeared. I apologized to each and every one of them but they dismissed it, reminding me I was sick and this mess has only been going on for a little while and I am human to. Every last kid offered to listen if I wanted to talk. I didn't take them up on it of course but the offer was amazing. It's nice to know they care that much.

I worked until way after the sun went down, bid Amber good night and sent Clayton a text that I was going to see Ethan. I hated that I had to announce that but considering the circumstances as of late I don't argue with it. I was surprised to read that were at my house. I sent back a question mark in response. Clayton sent a short text explaining Daniel wanted the house back. I left it alone, not all that surprised.

When I pull into Ethan's place, I find myself sitting in the car a moment. Realizing this is the first time I have been really alone all day. I take a moment to try and appreciate it but my head starts spinning with the reality that Clayton not only got married, he did it on a whim and he did it without me. I was right there, in that house and he didn't bother to tell me. This has me concerned for him and selfishly hurt. But I can't change any of it and he chose to marry someone, after all this time Clayton chose to get married. Not the promise of marriage but actually get married. He's come a long way since I have known him.

Not wanting to keep Ethan waiting any longer I get out of my car and knock on his door. He avoids eye contact when he opens it and I walk in, knowing I had some healing to do in my relationship with him. And not for the sake of keeping things civil but because I do consider him an important individual in my life and hurting him is not something I like to do.

I sit down on the couch and wait for him to acknowledge that I am not stripping my clothes off. When he finally does he doesn't speak, instead he stands next to me with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting.

"I had an offer to play with another this evening." I tell him honestly. "And I chose not to. I wanted to be here."

"So you are here, why the hell aren't you naked?" he snaps.

"You are not listening." I accuse. "I am here because I want to be." I answer, meeting his eyes. "My choice. No orders. Ethan, do you want my love?" I ask, standing up and wrapping my arms around his rigid form. His eyes show nothing but pain. I touch his face softly. "Because you have a piece of my heart." I whisper to him, kissing his lips gently. For a moment he allows it but quickly pushes me away.

"This is only a reaction to Clayton marrying another man."

"I've accepted Clayton was marrying another man a long time ago." I disagree. "What hurt was the fact that I walked in, in the middle of their plans to run off and Clayton said nothing." I rub my face. "I am supposed to be his best friend and he just doesn't tell me. Leaving me to try to sleep in an empty house, stuck in my head with all the things that could be happening to Bobby and trying to block all the images of my friends." I stop trying not to get lost in the sea of despair again. "Then to see them come through that door, so happy and carefree and to be told . . ."

"So you are jealous of them?"

"Yes." I answer, realizing it more in that moment than I had all day.

"Not because they chose to marry but because they were too wrapped up in their own world they forgot about the rest of it."

"Exactly."

"And it is a normal human reaction to a lot of stress. Do you think they will regret this decision?" Ethan asks.

"No, I really don't. But I think the weight of the decision has yet to be realized."

"And where does that leave you?" Ethan asks.

"Standing here, wanting you."

"Last I looked you were in love with Bobby." Ethan points out. "Then again, you came to me more than he kneeled for you."

"Don't." I warn, "I love you both. I don't want to make a choice."

"Who said anything about choosing? Bobby didn't what you to choose. He made that abundantly clear."

"He did?" I ask, lost.

He studies me. "Are you holding back on me right now or do you really not know?"

"Know what?"

"Bobby asked me to move in with the two of you." Ethan replies, cautiously.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask honestly surprised.

"He wanted the secrets to end and the three of us just to be in this."

"I didn't know." I admit. "We hadn't talked about it." I can tell this surprises him so I add, "Ethan, Bobby left in the middle of a conversation."

"Bobby loves you so much he doesn't want you to choose. I don't want you to choose."

"So you want to move in with me?" I ask, still digesting this.

"When you are ready. Yeah. But you are not ready." I raise an eyebrow at him. "I haven't earned your complete trust yet. And no one can love without trust and until you trust me, you can't really love me."

"What are you talking about?" I glare, insulted and confused. "Who says I don't trust you?"

"Where do my true loyalties lie Alec? With you or my family?"

My eyes widen, that is a taboo topic if we ever had one. "I don't know." I respond honestly. "But I have never asked either. This isn't about your family, this is about you."

"Ask me. Ask me where my loyalties lie." He demands.

"No." I reply, fighting back pain from an instant migraine. I don't want this information. If he says them, then fuck that will hurt. If he says me, I don't know if I can believe him.

"My loyalties are with you Alec." He presses, his eyes flaring. My breath falters. "And there it is …doubt."

"Ethan." I plead.

"I have never lied to you, even when I should have. I have risked my life for you. I have fought to save your life even when you didn't want it to be saved." His eyes flash in pure frustrated rage, "When I could, I gave you up to freedom because you asked me to. I have shared your body, your heart because you needed me to." His voice shakes, and he takes a few breathes to control it. "I have given so much, and because I love you I will give until there isn't anything left. When will you stop taking? When will you give in return? When will you trust me so that you can truly love me?" He asks, pounding his chest.

His words cut like glass deep in my soul. My mind's eye flashes through the years I have known him. He's right, I have taken so much from him. I never thought twice. It was so easy, all I ever had to do was ask and he was there. There for me since the beginning. He prevented me from dying by my own hand, by Que's and Sebastien's. He risked so much for me to go on a revenge spree with Angels of Justice's. He saved Levi, protected Clayton and all he wanted in return was me. Me, the man who only asks him to give. Hell I am here now, asking him to give again. And what do I do with that? Tell him I love him just to walk out of here and tuck him back into the shadows of my life that I refuse to let anyone see. Ethan has the right to his feelings, if I am serious about my feelings toward him, it is time I give something in return. But not yet, not until he answers one final question. A question that will most certainly prove his loyalty once and for all.

"Why didn't you want me to remember Xzavier?" I challenge. "You told me it was a taboo topic, to drop it and yet you are standing here, asking me where your loyalties lie. You can't have it both ways Ethan. This is your moment to prove your loyalty is with me."

"My loyalty remains with you by not answering that question." He responds. "Let me protect you. Can't you see, that is all I have ever done? Not once have I stepped aside to let you get hurt. Alec please."

"You have to give me something, anything Ethan." I respond, tears of frustration falling.

He stands there, shaking his head. "Please don't make me answer this Alec."

"You just did." I respond, standing up to walk away.

"Bobby's office was full of pictures of you. If you look closely at them, all except for the one of Pricilla is of you. There was a camera there with a chip, all full of pictures of you. Even of your scars, something he could have only taken when you were trusting him enough to sleep next to him. Bobby was stalking you Alec. He wasn't looking for his brother, though if you seed enough things to make it appear that way, it will. He stalked you, then became a sleeper agent, only to be reactivated. If I am deciphering his office right then that is what caused his disappearance, he wasn't going to turn on you. He really did love you." Ethan swallows hard. "There are other things I am still piecing together, mostly with Pricilla. But the timing of your attack and Bobby's disappearance is not a coincidence, at least I don't think it is."

"If what you are saying is true, then why was I a target? What did I do?"

"You know that answer Alec, you've had it since the moment you remembered Xzavier."

"I put him in prison." I answer with clarity.

"You put a very powerful man behind bars for murder. He is only free today because you weren't able to testify at his appeal and it caused the conviction to be overturned. Still, murder doesn't have an expiration date."

"Which leaves me with a lot of power." I respond. I glare at him. "Lance didn't find me by accident, he was hunting me." Suddenly the memory of him having all those newly packed clothes in luggage's in his trunk all those years ago didn't seem so creepy. "Your family wanted to cripple their enemy on their own time. And what better way than to make sure that I was protected and well taken care of. That is why Lance kept me for so long. That is the reason for all the education and the move across country. And when Levi went missing and I started dropping my name, you told me I was in danger. I really was, wasn't I? That is the reason for the long stay in the cabin. Not Levi healing, or you trying to get me to love you. It was because I had a bounty on my head that someone was trying to collect."

"That someone was taken care of." Ethan frowns. "But we had no idea about Bobby until he disappeared. I swear, Alec had I known."

"What? You wouldn't have let him lie to me about loving me? Just like you have."

"Neither of us have lied to you about loving you Alec." Ethan responds. "Bobby stopped taking photos of you right around the time Pricilla and Brad pulled that acid stunt. Bobby's sent box simply stopped collecting e-mails. There is an encrypted file that only allows for the password to be entered correctly, any errors and it's deleted. It is labeled, My Alec."

"And you are just now telling me this?"

"I have no idea what is on it and up to the tragedy at Chloe's you never heard of the Dolore so why would I let Bobby tell you? I am trying to protect you here."

"Are you holding back anything else?"

"No, I have told you everything I know. I was ordered to protect you at all cost. Something I resented at first until I met you. Stopping Lance from hurting you was one of the easiest things in the world for me. I found myself not only protecting you from our enemies but from my family as well. I tried so hard not to love you, but I failed. Yes, I took you to the cabin to save your life but I was honest about that. Did I take advantage of my time with you to show you how I truly felt? Yes, does it mean it wasn't real? No. Everything I have ever shown you is real Alec. If you can't trust that, then I truly failed you."

"Are you really helping me get Bobby back?"

"I am trying."

"If and when he comes back, will you trust him?"

"Only if you do." Ethan answers, pained.

I stare at him for a long time, thinking of all the thing in my life that have come to pass. It dawns on me the only way I could ever stop any of this from ever happening was not to talk to Glory that rainy day in the church. I can't bring myself to regret that. I love her too much to regret any part of her. Today I am staring at a man's who only crime is protecting me, something he was asked to do and it turned into a want and then a need. Something that I have taken advantage for so very long. Slowly, I begin to kneel before him but am interrupted by a knock on Ethan's front door. "Expecting someone?" I ask.

"No." Ethan frowns waling past me and opening it to a man holding a police shield.

"I am looking for Alec Impavido, is he here?"

I recognize the voice and approach the door, ignoring Ethan's death glare.

"How did you find me here?" I ask annoyed.

"I am a detective." He shrugs. I don't smile. "I had to threaten Clayton with an obstruction of justice charge." That makes me smile a little. "Alec, I need you to come with me."

"Where?"

"What the hell for? Is he being charged with something?" Ethan asks, immediately defensive.

"Do either of you need to be charged with something?" Detective Cole responds.

"It's fine Ethan, I'll go with him." I assure him.

"Not without me." Ethan snaps grabbing his keys from a nearby hook and walking outside, locking the door behind us.

"And who are you exactly?" Dale asks.

"His lawyer." Ethan answers angrily.

The police ride is quite. Ethan stares straight ahead the entire time. I on the other hand pay attention to my surroundings so when I find that Dale had pulled up to the city's mortuary my heart stops. "Let me out! Let me out right now!" I scream. Dale jumps out of the car, opens my door and just barely hops out of the way to avoid getting my vomit on his shoes. I start crying immediately, rocking back and forth.

Ethan is at a loss only for a moment until he reads the sign on the building and curses. "Alec, baby I'm right here." Ethan assures me. "Breathe, you need to breathe." He turns to Dale and snaps. "Are you fucking sure?"

"Not without a positive identification, no." Dale replies, defeated.

"Where is Clayton? Is he here?" Ethan asks.

"No, I figured Alec had the right to do this himself."

"Call Mike and have him get Clayton here now! You realize my client is recovering from a recent poisoning right? His body can't handle a lot of stress. Clayton is going to be the only man in the world who can help him!"

"I'll get them escorted here." Dale offers.

"You do that!" Ethan snaps at him. His voice softens immediately. "Come on Pet, let's get off the pavement okay."

"No." I cry.

"Alec, I am not asking you to go inside, just get you to this nearby bench. Can you do that for me? Please?" Reluctantly, I allow Ethan to help me up off the ground and to a nearby bench. "That's it Pet, not much further. Just breathe." I sit down and put my head between my legs, trying to deny where I am.

"Everything hurts." I cry.

"It's okay when this is over we are taking you to the doctor." Ethan promises. "Take your time Pet. It's going to be okay."

"How? My world is shattered." I argue lunging away from him to get sick again. I feel his hand on my back, trying his best to comfort me.

Twenty very long minutes later Clayton pulls up in his valet car, escorted by police. He jumps out of it and runs to my side. "Alec!"

"Angel." I cry falling apart. I only pull away because he makes me. "Are you sure?"

"No, I can't bring myself to go inside." I answer terrified.

"It's okay we will go in together." He winces when he sits up and puts himself into his wheelchair. I am sure Mike is giving him a silent lecture for his sprint but I am not caring enough to look up from the spinning ground. "Come here Angel." Clayton whispers, picking me up and setting me in his lap. I cling to him like a small child. Mike pushes Clayton's chair, Ethan walks beside us and Dale takes us to the room.

"You have to do this Angel, you have to be the one." Clayton whispers to me. Reluctantly I lift my head and stare at a sheet that is covering a dead body. _Please for the love of all that is good, don't be Bobby._

Dale looks me in the eye, takes a breath and lowers the sheet to the blue corpse neck. "Oh my God, Oh my God!" I cry before I start to scream out in pain. Dale tries to cover him back up but I refuse, I need this to sink in. "What is that on his forehead?" I demand.

"We don't know the meaning." Dale admits.

"It means traitor." Ethan answers, placing his hand on my shoulder. I find that oddly comforting. I know I shouldn't but I do. Ethan was right, Bobby truly did love me. And that love got him killed. I can't feel guilty for having such an epic love, it wouldn't be fair to him. I won't let his murderer take that away from us. But they succeed at taking us away from each other. For Bobby is lying on a cold metal slab in front of me and isn't breathing. "No! Love please!" I beg.

Ethan grabs my hand that is clinching to the sheet and all but rips the fabric from my fingers. Dale covers him back up. I try protesting that he is cold but no one says anything. Instead, I am lead back outside the way I came.

"He needs a doctor." Ethan worries to Clayton. "He told me everything hurts. Last time he said that he was recovering from being poisoned. His body doesn't need this stress right now."

I am still in hysterics and Clayton doesn't argue. I try to resist going into the hospital and do not help the poor nurse trying to stab me with a damn needle for an I.V. when I get there. It takes an experience doctor to get one in me and within moments they administer a drug that knocks me out cold.


	31. Deals and Devils

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Deals and Devils**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

"How do I do this Mike?" I ask staring at different caskets and urns in a display room. "How do I help him past this?"

"You just do." Mike answers softly.

"All of this is too fancy." I complain looking around. "Bobby's simple."

"Maybe a casket isn't the right thing. Have you considered cremation?" Mike offers.

"No." I frown. "You saw his reaction at the morgue. I don't think he would handle the idea of cremation well."

"Did you find something you like?" The salesperson asks, touching one of the most expensive caskets presented. Obviously these people work on commission.

"I want a wood casket, not metal." I reply turning my chair away from him, feeling a burning in my chest when I do. I take a few calming breathes, now is not the time for this shit.

"Wood isn't going to withstand the pressure of the ground well without a burial vault."

"He's being buried in my family crypt. Wood will work just fine." I reply annoyed.

Mike picks up on my tone. "Commission job right?" he asks the guy. "Look you prove your skills and give us exactly what we want without worrying about numbers or up charging despite the pressure you receive upstairs from your boss and I can find you a much more enjoyable job that doesn't require you to milk the grieving."

"What style is the crypt? Musuliem?" the sales guy asks.

"Yes." I answer dismissively rolling up to a white pine casket. "Does this have to have fancy corners?"

"No Sir."

"Then this is it." I respond. "Nice and simple, just like he was."

"And the design on the headstone?" the sales person asks.

"Isn't necessary at the moment." I snap. "When we are ready we will design his headstone. Most likely with another company. Regardless, that day is not today." I shake my head at Mike.

"Get your boss." Mike snaps, "And you can forget about my offer. Seriously, up charging the grieving. You have to be soulless to work here."

The salesperson leaves the room. "His boss isn't going to be much better." I grip.

"Are you sure we want to buy from here?" Mike asks.

"I like the funeral director. She did a great job for everyone else we have the misfortune of burying this year." I frown, "but ma'ma's funeral was pre-arranged. Our friends had their family arrange their ceremonies. I paid for it all, but I didn't have to deal with any sales people."

"Hi I'm John, I understand you wanted to speak with me?" he smiles.

"You need to train your staff better on respecting the grieving's wishes. I get that I am famous and known to thrown my money around but that doesn't mean I am going to walk in here and buy the most expensive coffin because I can. This is for a dear friend of mine and I want this to represent him and his life, not my money."

"Of course, I am sorry you feel disrespected." He frowns. "I am told you would like the white pine casket?"

"Yes but don't even think about talking to me about a headstone, I am in no mood." I warn.

"Now is not the time for that." John smiles, realizing exactly how his associate offended me. "Right now we need to concentrate on giving Bobby a respectful goodbye."

"Him, him I like." I tell Mike rolling out of the display room and back into the conference room where we finish the paperwork. It took Mike two days to hunt down Bobby's birth certificate. Mike has been a lifesaver in all of this mess.

When we get into the car I turn to him. "Thank you baby. I know you have been doing most this planning and it really is appreciated."

"You haven't had an easy job yourself." Mike asks. "Thank you for coming with me. I could have done it alone but you were closer to Bobby than I was. That and I thought you could use a break from Alec."

"No one was expecting this." I frown. "We all thought save him or die trying." I whip tears off my face, "But there is no saving him, he died, alone from a blunt object someone smashed into his skull. Five of our friends have been murdered in the matter of a month."

"I know baby. They will be caught and they will pay." Mike promises, starting the car and heading back to Alec's house.

When we get inside Ethan turns to me. "Clayton." He frowns. "There has been a rather abrupt and surprising arrest in Bobby's case."

"Okay." I respond confused at the conflict on his face.

"Daniel Kingsley is being charged with Bobby's murder."

I stare at him for a very long time and then I start to laugh from the absurdity. Mike and Ethan exchange a look of worry and Alec walks in, wearing an annoyed expression. I stop and work to compose myself. "Do you think Daniel did this? Do you think he could be apart of The Dolore?"

"No." Alec answers. "He's being set up."

"I agree." I nod, "If you ask me the sheriff is rushing this because of election year. Having a popular unsolved case is bad for politics."

"I want the murderer to pay Clayton. I don't want an innocent man to jail."

"I'll take care of it." I assure Alec. I turn to Mike who already has his phone out and calling one of my best damn defense attorney's on our payroll. "Get Daniel out on bail today and tell them I want the charges dropped and a public apology by the end of the week, if not sooner."

"You are both sure it's not Daniel?" Mike asks while on hold.

"Why would he tell us about Liam if it was? Everything he told us I personally verified." Ethan assures him. "And if Daniel was a part of The Dolore, Liam would not be in the situation he is in."

"Besides," I add, "Ben may lie for Daniel but Amber would never cover up a murder. It wasn't him."

I roll my way over to Alec, "Everything is arranged. There will be a private viewing tomorrow afternoon and a public viewing tomorrow evening. The following day we will have a private funeral service."

"Not too private." Alec clarifies, "Our kids have the right to come."

"Of course." I smile.

"Thank you." Alec whispers, with blood shot eyes. "I just couldn't bring myself to do it."

"I know Angel. Do you need anything I can give you in this moment?" I ask, trying to avoid feeling helpless. I have no answers as who did this or why. And that is all he wants to know. I am grateful that he seems to be coping with this better than he did with the Darkest Desire murders.

"My pills, I would like to sleep for a while." He answers. "I think I can sleep now. Maybe. This hurts but at least, when I close my eyes I know where he is."

"I'll get you some water too." I smile, squeezing his hand, unsure what else to say to that.

"Clayton."

"Yeah?"

"Don't go too far okay."

"I won't." I assure him.

I go to the kitchen and get a bottle of water and his medicine. I then roll myself into his bedroom to hand them to him, while Ethan lies at his side. I try not to let the sight bother me. I know Ethan is someone Alec has leaned on for years, hell longer than me really. Still, it is awkward. I am not used to seeing it and I don't particularly care for it. I do notice though that Alec is on Bobby's side of the bed. That comforts me a little.

"Sleep Angel." I whisper. Ethan and I exchange a look of concern and he is sizing me up in case I challenge his presence at Alec's side. I have yet to do that. Thought about it on several occasions since this nightmare became a reality but Alec seems to want him around and it isn't the time to argue. Preferring not to watch Ethan comfort Alec, I quickly leave the room.

When I get back into the living room Mike approaches me. "Daniel should be released by the end of the afternoon."

"Thanks." I sigh.

"That bugging you?" Mike asks, nodding to Alec's bedroom, indicating Alec's unusual house guest.

"More and more each day." I admit.

"I don't understand why he is here all the time lately." Mike sighs, to me.

"Because he is comfortable." I answer, pulling my foot up and undoing the bandage. Mike tries to help but I politely wave him off. "You have to remember Ethan is Alec's oldest friend." I free my right foot and move to my left. "I am not saying it isn't messed up. I am saying Ethan has always been there for Alec. And right now Alec needs that."

"Your feet are looking good." Mike notes, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I get to keep them out of the bandages much more these days." I smile. "Still the stretches hurt like a mother." I complain as I work on getting the new skin to act like real skin and learn how to expand.

"So the collective agreement is Daniel is innocent." Mike notes, letting the Ethan topic go. "Bobby realizes he has a glimpse of Xzavier but it is a dead end for Xzavier's current whereabouts. What does he do?"

"His plan was to go to the hospital." I answer. "But what if he contacted his source and went on another quest? What if Isaac, whom by the way is a territorial prick, got jealous of Daniel going there and reacted?"

"Let's agree that Bobby simply got disappointed." Mike dismisses, my Isaac theory. "What does he do next?"

"He could have gone to Chloe." I answer. "Or any one of us really."

"Okay so that didn't happen or we would have known." Mike frowns. "What is bothering me is where he was found." He complains. "What was he doing on a cliff at the edge of town?"

"He did get a random text, outing Alec and Ethan. Maybe he was asked to meet them?" I theorize. "His phone wasn't found."

"Maybe he knew Pricilla was in town." Mike theorizes. "I mean yeah you two don't remember who attacked you but she had to be visiting Brad." He looks around. "Think about it, the woman we have been hunting to try to figure out what happened to Faith and hell even Owen. Bobby had just discovered she had link to Xzavier. He had questions, maybe he confronted her to get answers. What if he ran into her at the hospital? Recognized her and she agreed to talk to him."

"And his curiosity got him killed." Ethan concludes, startling me out of my thoughts and shutting Mike into silence as he takes a seat.

"Or maybe his source was Xzavier who simply double crossed and killed him." I toss out there, looking at Ethan. "We are all so tunnel visioned on our worst enemy we are assuming they are guilty."

"It has merit." Ethan notes, meeting my eyes.

"What we know is Bobby was looking for Xzavier. We also know this source of his was trying to distract him with facts about Alec."

"That wasn't a distraction." Ethan frowns. "I don't want to tell you this, but I know Alec will. It seems Bobby was orginially sent here to stalk Alec, but he stopped right after the two of you got hurt." Ethan explains, shocking me. "The so called source was Bobby's replacement after Bobby refused to continue to deliever intel on his own. They got Bobby's attention when they snapped that photo of Alec kneeling for me. Bobby must have known something was going to happen so he left bread crumbs in case something did, which is why he pointed us to Daniel."

"So we could find Xzavier."

"He planned on telling Alec everything the same night he disappeared. But something happened, he got caught or one of you was put in danger and he was distracted to deal with that fire. Which in turn lead to his disappearance and murder."

"So either the new stalker did this or Xzavier." Mike frowns.

"I am not about to theorize the murderer is Xzavier himself. Alec is barely keeping it together, the last thing he needs is unsupported theories about someone he considers family."

"We don't have all the facts when it comes to him. All we know is Bobby's brother and at one point he chose to run away Bobby. We are assuming it is because of Pricilla but what if there is more to it? What if they reconciled?"

"Well how the hell do we figure that out?" Mike asks. "The only person who knows is Xzavier."

"Which means we need to find him. Check every foster family he was with and who lived with him when he was there."

"That is a project." Mike sighs.

"Then I suggest you give the lead to Detective Cole. I can offer financial assistance for the overtime, but I want him to hand pick his unit. And I want daily reports."

"The sheriff is not going to like that type of interference." Mike warns.

"He will be okay with it." I dismiss, "If not I am more than happy to donate to his opponents campaign."

"Remind me again never to get on your bad side," Ethan laughs. "Especially when politics are involved."

I give a laugh. My phone rings and my stomach twists a little. I excuse myself and make my way to the outdoor patio. "Hi."

"How much does she cost? I want to reimburse you." Daniel answers flatly.

"No clue." I dismiss, "Come on Daniel don't try to pay me back for it. You're innocent. I am not going to let you rot in prison for something you didn't do."

"I had my own lawyer." He argues.

"Yeah but mine was better, wasn't she."

"I wasn't expecting your help." He admits.

"I ended our relationship Daniel, not the possibility of a friendship. You are not dead to me. Annoying as hell to my public relations staff but I deserve the heat."

"Understatement." He replies. "A handful of dates and a single couple consoling session does not define a fair try." He sighs. "But admittedly I am not all that surprised. You feel I lied to you because I wasn't honest that I had to. Your reaction was to cut me out. It hurts like hell but I understand it." He takes a deep breath. "I didn't call to make this about me. I just wanted to try to thank you for the help. I appreciate that you trust my innocence."

"You're welcome to come to the public viewing tomorrow evening." I offer. "Bring Ben and Amber, all of you knew him. Don't let our break up get in the way of your last respects."

"Yeah okay." He whispers. "Do you have any idea who did this?"

"No." I answer honestly. "But whoever they are, they will pay."

Hanging up, I dig out my emergency stash of cigarettes and light one up. "Do not let Alec even get a hint of you smoking!" Ethan barks, causing me to jump.

I relax, lite up and take a long draw. "Gonna rat me out?"

"And watch him explode?" Ethan mutters. "No." He replies helping himself to my stash and lighting one up for himself. "Oh my, it's been years since I had one of these. Damn that is good." He takes another savory long drag before he speaks again. "I wanted to thank you."

"For?" I ask, studying him.

"For not throwing a fit about me hanging around." Ethan answers evenly.

"I would prefer if you didn't but then he would just be trying to run off and see you. It's safer this way." I shrug.

"So you accept I am a part of his life?"

"I accept that he wants you in his life." I clarify. "The moment he doesn't and you don't leave. _That_ is when we will have a problem."

"When he doesn't, I stick to the shadows. Rarely do I demand his presence. I do want him to want me." Ethan admits.

"I hate your family." I state, inhaling.

He smiles, taking another long pull from his cigarette. "Most the time I do too, especially Pricilla."

"I don't think she was alone." I admit, looking around for prying ears while I point to my chest.

"You don't think or you remember?" he challenges.

"Can't tell the two apart really." I admit.

"I plan on getting answers on what the hell she was looking for when she tossed the place. I can press that but without you being certain, her saying she did this alone is going to be what sticks. Bitch or not she is family and we tend to trust our own."

"Would she admit to killing someone under your family's protection?"

"Revenge for Brad, she would be bragging about it." He answers finishing his smoke and putting it out on the ground.

"Doesn't make sense that it was her then." I conclude. "Something else is going on."

"I'd agree but I don't want to sound like I am supporting my family." Ethan shrugs. "I have never seen Alec this destroyed before. Well, kind of, when he spoke to me about Glory but that was a glimpse of a painful memory. But to have five people he was close to, one of them being a significant …" He sighs. "From the moment I met him all I have ever wanted to do was protect him from my family. Shit job I am doing. I am talking to his best friend who is sporting a wheel chair from all the war wounds my family has inflicted."

I reach out and take his wrist, pushing up his long sleeves; pointing to his scars. "You have a fair share of wounds yourself. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how you got these." He jerks his arm away. "You love him Ethan and you fight for him just as much as I do. But your family wouldn't dare shoot you."

"If he ever wanted to choose me, would you let him?" Ethan asks, curious.

"Pay attention!" I snap, "I _am_ letting him. You wouldn't be here if I wasn't. But I will never in a million years support your family. Which means marriage is off limits unless you disown them."

"If I do that, I can't protect him."

"Then enjoy what you have. Because this is where I draw the line." I warn, tossing my spent cigarette and heading back into the house.

Mike approaches me. "You were a bit more than civil to him in there."

"We are not friends if that is what you are implying." I glare. He studies me. "I care for Alec, Mike you know that. And if that means I have to share a room with him to try to figure out who killed Bobby, so be it. But you won't find me willingly seeking him out."

"Fair enough." He shrugs. "Monica and Lilly wanted to stop by after their shift at the youth center but they decided to let Alec sleep. I have a laundry list of their concerns for you." He smiles handing me his phone and letting me read his texts. Lilly mostly worried about me taking care of myself. Then the question of postponing the concert came up.

"I want the concert to go on as scheduled." I tell him, handing his phone back.

"Clay."

"I am not going to disappoint a massive amount of dedicated fans because some asshole murdered one of my family members." I snap. "Reallocate the donation drive. Half will continue to go the cancer foundation for ma'ma. The other half will be for a memorial fund in Bobby's name to help victims of murderer's." He sits down on my lap and forces me to look in his eyes. "I'm helpless Mike, helpless to the loss of all of them. Let me do this, let me grieve in my own way."

"Of course." He whispers, kissing my lips lightly. "I do need to talk to you about something." I cringe at his tone, letting him continue. "I had to tap into your reserves to liquidate some cash." He informs me. "You have been throwing money around like it is water lately and being as your personal life is so demanding, new talent revenue isn't up to par. And as you know, that is where you allow yourself the bonuses in your income. Which of course I have always agreed with, you are the one spending all your time on demo tapes."

"Is this your way of telling me I need to listen to more music?"

"Yes. It won't be so time consuming now that you have a screener. Who is pissing me off with his whining about the fact you haven't listened to anything he has approved. For him it's only been several damn weeks. I hate that he reports to me."

"He is just jealous that I married you." I reply touching his cheek. "It will calm eventually."

"Money isn't water." He whispers. "I respect that personal security, doctors, weddings, lawyers and funerals are not cheap; but do try to earn what you are spending."

"How is the business books?" I ask instantly regretting the question. He had pulled all those documents for me weeks ago.

"You didn't look it over before you made a packet for your potential business partner?"

"I glanced!" I defend, which is true, "Besides I was more looking for how they could help us in new territory." I deflect.

"Business is doing well." He mutters, his eyes disapproving. "The girl's pre-order numbers for their new album is off the charts."

"Good." I smile, "Can you do something for me handsome?" I ask, trying not to set off alarms, which I fail miserably at because he knows me too well. "It's nothing, I just don't feel right. I mean, I know I shouldn't, taking a bullet and all, but I just feel off."

"Off?" he asks raising an eyebrow.

"Can you schedule an appointment for me with that spunky doctor after the funeral? But don't tell anyone. Alec doesn't need to be concerned about this."

"Sure but laying off the cigarettes might be advisable between now and then." He frowns. "I am your husband and reserve all rights to worry about you."

"I am trying to quit, promise."

"Don't make promises when you lie to me." He whispers unamused.

"It's not a lie. I just suck at the willpower when my life is in chaos."

"Your life is always in chaos Clay, learn to cope without the smoke." He nags, kissing me softly before he gets up. "I need to get to the police station. Dale is getting a lot of heat for the Daniel mishap."

"Tell me the office isn't falling a part." I mutter.

"I am available to Zach and his wife whenever they need. I am fielding what I can but they need a bonus." He sighs.

"Pull from other departments where you have to. I hate having Zach being the temporary go to guy in charge when he is so damn new." I bitch. "Make your presence known even if it is for an hour or so. Then go the police station. Have the girls be at the office tomorrow. I want them running the show no matter how much Lilly bitches she is no good at the business part."

"Anything else boss?" Mike asks.

"Stop calling me boss."

"Not when we are working Clay, it's the only way I am going to be able to maintain both sides of our relationship."

"Do we have enough liquid funds for a honeymoon?"

"Is it really safe to travel right now?" he asks. "Besides the business needs us home for a while." I give him a look of disappointment. "I don't need a fancy trip, I need you."

"Love you too." I smile. "Now go, I just made your day really long."

My day wasn't much shorter. Even with the sleeping pills Alec was having horrific nightmares. None of us could decide if he was better off staying awake and dealing with reality or sleep and deal with his unconscious mind trying to process the stress. It was a lose, lose situation and left not only me but Ethan thoroughly exhausted. I can only hope it gets better. Because honestly, I don't think anyone can handle it getting any worse.


	32. Devestation 32

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Devastation**

 **Alec's Point of View**

"To the living, I am gone  
To the sorrowful, I will never return  
To the angry, I was cheated  
But to the happy, I am at peace  
And to the faithful, I have never left  
I cannot speak, but I can listen  
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard  
So as you stand upon the shore  
Gazing at the beautiful sea, remember me  
As you look in awe at a mighty forest  
And in its grand majesty, remember me  
Remember me in your hearts,  
In your thoughts, and the memories of the  
Times we loved, the times we cried,  
the battle we fought and the times we laughed  
For if you always think of me,  
I will never have gone."  
 _~Anonymous_

 _Reading those words through tear blurred eyes, I fall apart again. Clayton and Mike have done a wonderful job at capturing Bobby's life as we knew him. They have an amazing slide show of happy memories from the youth center, of Bobby and I out on the town simply celebrating being together, and of Bobby simply smiling. The casket they chose could not be more perfect it's simple, just like him. And Bobby himself simply looks like he is sleeping, nothing more. The only way my mind is accepting this reality is because every time I touch his hand, it's cold._

 _I appreciate the way they set up the viewings. One private so I could fall apart in peace. And one public so the community could say goodbye. The public one surprised me at times, and it gave me memories of him that I had never known. They helped, being surrounded by family and friends and sometimes even strangers. It is nice to see that I am not the only one who is going to miss him. He made such a positive impression on so many lives. And if I am honest it is nice to see other people's anger at the fact someone so giving was ripped away from this world so senselessly._

 _Clayton and Ethan have been hovering near me all day. Not that I am not grateful, especially this evening with the public viewing. Anytime anyone started to speak of Bobby's dreadful murder or ask me if I had any idea what could have happened, one of them would direct the offender away from me and the other was by my side, checking on me. Admittedly, I felt like I was being treated like a small child, but I had no energy to pick a fight about it. Besides, I was grateful. I am here to remember his life, not his death._

 _Both viewings lasted a while. There were a lot of people who had a lot of great stories to share. I had even shared a few myself, though it was really hard to keep my vocal cords working at times. The catering that was there had decent enough food and after persistence from my friends, I managed to eat a little something._

 _I am the last one to leave and everyone is respecting my request to be alone with him. Part of me wants to tell him off. He asked me to trust him and I did, which is why I am here, holding his cold, dead hand while he lays in a pine box. But I can't hold onto my anger, it's senseless. I don't want my farewell to him to be bitter. He deserves better than that. Instead, I find myself talking to him about the day, and the memories. I don't know how long I am going on but I simply can't stop falling apart. Eventually I get myself to let go of his cold hand and make my way out of the room._

 _Both Ethan and Clayton are waiting for me. They ask me for the hunderth time if I need anything and I wave them off. They drive me home in silence and when I arrive I make my way to my bedroom without a word, grab one of the blankets I had taken off of my bed and simply smell it. I turn to find Ethan leaning against the doorframe._

 _"_ _It was his favorite blanket." I explain, sitting down on the bed._

 _"_ _You need to put it in plastic, it will help the scent stay longer." Ethan suggests. "Awkward question but neither one of us want you to sleep alone tonight. I know you will bunk up with Clayton, I get that. I was just wondering if I could be there for you too?"_

 _"_ _Are you asking my permission, Sir?" I question with a raised eyebrow; receiving a well earned glare. "I would like that, if Clayton can accept it."_

 _"_ _He can. We had a talk, there is an understanding." Ethan shrugs. "Don't worry yourself, we are grown men. We don't need a negotiator to figure out how to get along because we both love the same man in different ways."_

 _"_ _The day Bobby died." I stop for a moment before I start again, "Bobby told me he accepted the fact that you are a part of my life and he loved me anyway."_

 _"_ _Glad he surprised you a little too. So much better from his previous feelings where he used my face like his personal punching bag."_

 _"_ _He loved me, for me. He supported me in every way, all too happy to kick your ass when he felt you were hurting me instead of helping. All too happy to open his heart to keep me from feeling like I was needing to choose. Though he didn't tell me personally, it makes sense to me that he offered to open our home, our lives to you."_

 _"_ _Sounds like Bobby and Clayton have the same tolerance levels." Ethan smiles._

 _"_ _You knowing and accepting that I needed Clayton at the mortuary, is most likely where Clayton's tolerance is steaming from." I frown. I hated that Clayton all but turned his back on Ethan after he realized I was owned again. I respect it but I hated it. I am grateful Ethan didn't let him get away with it for long._

 _"_ _I was grateful he didn't try to make me leave you. Not on the worst day of your life." Ethan admits, then he tries to lighten the mood with a teasing tone of voice. "I wouldn't have gone, there would have been blood and screaming, it would have been ugly. And all those pretty faces. The local dentist and plastic surgeons were disappointed I assure you."_

 _I give a half smile. "The day Glory died, I was sent to jail for her murder but I was able to prove my innocence. They didn't let me go though, instead I was shipped off to juvie for stealing. Looking back I think the public defender was trying to help me. I was nothing but a sack of bones. Juvie gave me a three course meal every day." I shake my head, distracted from my point. "I sat locked up behind bars from that first day and one hundred and ninety eight after that. I had no distractions there and all I could do was relive how I failed her. I had sworn on a Bible to protect her and she bleed to death in a dirty alley on the streets of New York with me less than a hundred yards away, unconscious from one blow. I still hate myself for that."_

 _"_ _Are you hating yourself for letting Bobby leave without telling you his plans?" Ethan asks._

 _"_ _Kinda." I answer. "But I can't bring myself to feel guilty for trusting him." I shrug. "It hurts that he didn't trust me in the same way. If he had . . ." the tears start again._

 _"_ _If he had then life would have been different. You would have come to me for help and depending on how that turned out, we would have either been burying you along side of Bobby. Or you would hate me forever because we failed and Bobby would have been taken, forcing me to take you elsewhere to start our lives over."_

 _"_ _Don't forget the happily ever option of finding and saving his brother." I reply drying my eyes._

 _"_ _We don't know if Xzavier needs saving." Ethan points out. "We just know he is not an easy person to find."_

 _"_ _I just don't want Bobby dead Ethan." I whisper, my heart breaking, "If I could trade, Bobby would still be alive."_

 _"_ _You can't. And you can't hold still very long either, it's disrespectful to his memory."_

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How long did it take for you to move on after Matt died?"

He inhales through his teeth, walking over to sit beside me. "Any day now." He takes my hand and I find myself surprised at his warmth, "This is going to be different than Glory. With her you got to stand still for a very long time. But you are grown now. You have a youth center to run, kids to help through this. I know your soul is shattered Alec but you have to pick up the pieces and glue yourself back together. Just don't expect to be the same man you were. You never will be."

"I hate to interrupt but it's getting late and we have a hard day ahead of us." Clayton whispers, lightly knocking on my bedroom door.

"That we do Angel." I frown pulling down the sheets and patting the bed. Clayton raises an eyebrow and exchanges a look with Ethan before he settles his eyes on me. "Please?" I beg. Without a word Clayton gives me a sad smile, he wheels over to my dresser and throws all of us a pair of sleeping pants. We change in silence and shortly after I find myself in the middle of the bed with them on either side of me. Knowing this was not easy for either of them, I squeeze both their hands and whisper, "Thank you."

When I wake I find myself alone, for a moment reality doesn't set in and I reach for Bobby; then my memory catches up with my consciousness and it hurts to breathe. I have to say goodbye today. The knowledge makes me sick to my stomach. I had asked Clayton to take care of everything because I can barely bare any of this. I was surprised when he offered his family's crept though. I was unsure, I mean it was built for his family. But he simply told me we are his family and assured me that there was plenty of comfortable space for us. Thinking it through a little I agreed. Bobby lost his parents so long ago and to be honest, I don't know where or how they were laid to rest. The idea of Bobby burying in a cemetery bothered me and the idea of him getting wet in the rain or someone walking on his grave messed with my head. I love the mausoleum idea. At least there, he is safe and will one day be surrounded by those who loved him. With legs of lead I work to get out of the empty bed and face the day.

Clayton helps me get through the morning and to the car. I don't find myself saying much if anything and if they are talking to me, I am not grasping a single word. I simply know I need to do things, relying on auto piolet to get myself prepared for this most difficult day. Ethan helps me tie my tie because I forgotten how. We go straight to the funeral parlor and have one last private viewing before we have to lay him to rest.

I weep for nearly two hours, holding his dead cold hand; telling him all the things I never got to say, promising whoever did this will pay. When Clayton and Ethan eventually come in they are with the funeral director. They both say their final goodbyes and Clayton squeezes my shoulder telling me it's time. Reluctantly and most painfully I let go of Bobby's hand, knowing I will never hold it again. I swallow a painful cry when they close and lock the cask. I find Ethan holding me up by my upper right arm as we walk out and head to the limousines.

We when arrive at the grave side I half notice our friends there. There is a ceremony but I couldn't tell you a single word of it. I just kept staring at his casket. Then when it is time I take one handle and walk into that crypt with the rest of the pallbearers. Clayton wheel in beside me, holding my hand as the coffin is slide into it's final resting place and sealed.

They let me stay there for a while and then I find myself back at my house. People are there and my kitchen is filled with casseroles. I attempt conversation with those who try but I am at a loss of what to say. It hurts so damn much. Time doesn't pay attention to my sorrow and slips by, forcing me further and further into the future without Bobby at my side. The guest start leaving one by one. Eventually only Clayton and Ethan remain. The food is put away, dishes are done. And it is finally polite to become unconscious again.

If they argued with me I didn't hear it. I simply asked that when they were ready to please join me. I wasn't able to fall asleep easily. When I did, I had one of the most unexpected gifts I could receive.

 _"_ _Hey there Jack, or is it Alec?" an all too familiar voice greets me from the next pew. I look around, recognizing my surroundings immediately. I am in a familiar church, where I first met the owner of this beautiful voice._

 _Surprised, I turn around and see one of the most beautiful girls I had ever gotten the privilege to know. "Glory?" I ask, smiling despite myself. "Or is it Tara?"_

 _"_ _You knew me best and that was as Glory."_

 _"_ _Alec." I smile. "I know you knew Jack, but that was at my worst." I shake my head at her, "All this time, you have been in my head but never once in my dreams. Why now?"_

 _"_ _Because you are finally ready." She smiles._

 _"_ _I've been ready." I whisper, my eyes watering. "I miss you."_

 _"_ _I've always been here." She smiles, taking my hand. "You know I have never left you. I was too stubborn not to watch over you and give you a mental ass kicking when necessary."_

 _"_ _Yeah, for a long time there it was necessary daily." I frown, falling silent for a moment. "I fucked up and Bobby could be dead because of me."_

 _"_ _You survived. Not the way I would have thought best but look at you now. You help others in their time of need, you have done great things. Just as you were always meant to."_

 _I look around this place, taking in her words. "Why did you chose this of all places?"_

 _"_ _It's where we met." She answers pulling back. "Something wrong with it?"_

 _"_ _This is where I made you a promise I couldn't keep." I reply painfully but surprisingly the memory isn't as bitter as it used to be. "I'm so sorry."_

 _"_ _This is what I mean about you not being ready to see me. It has taken you many, many years to forgive yourself. I do hope it takes you less for yours and Bobby's visit." My eyes snap to hers. "I am glad you have forgiven yourself. You tried. It almost got you killed, but you tried. I don't blame you. There is nothing to forgive."_

 _"_ _Thank you." I whisper, squeezing her hand._

 _"_ _I can't stay long." She frowns._

 _"_ _Thank you for being here."_

 _"_ _Bobby loves you. He hates seeing you hurt like this. He asked that you promise him something."_

 _"_ _Promise him something? Why can't he do that himself?"_

 _"_ _Neither one of you are ready." She frowns. "One day . . ."_

 _"_ _What does he want me to promise?"_

 _"_ _He wants you to keep living. He wanted me to remind you that your kids need you and you need them. He doesn't want you shutting out the world or running away from it. Will you do that for him?"_

 _"_ _Time doesn't give me much of a choice." I frown. "You can assure him I am not suicidal or anything. But I will find justice for him."_

 _"_ _Just put your dreams first okay. Don't allow them to wither and die because your soul is in pain."_

 _"_ _I promise to try." I squeeze her hand, "And this promise I will fight like hell to keep. I don't want to fail either of you."_

 _She gives me a half smile and squeezes my hand. "I can't stay." She repeats in a whisper, letting go of my hand and standing up, heading for the church doors._

 _"_ _Wait, please. Did he say anything else? Did he know his killer?"_

 _"_ _Alec, I fear even when you get your answers, you may not find peace in them." She worries, "Don't let this destroy you. Stay strong. Remember we both love you. And we are always watching over you."_

 _"_ _Glory wait!" I cry but the doors open to a strong light and I shield away._

"Glory!" I scream, waking with a start, startling both Ethan and Clayton who are sandwiching me in my bed.

"Angel?" Clayton asks, his eyebrows pulled together as he lifts his head from his pillow.

"It's okay Pet." Ethan assures me, rubbing my back. "It was just a dream."

"Yeah." I mutter climbing out of bed and going to the restroom to wash my face, trying to remember every detail. When I get back they are both watching me like a hawk. "I'm fine, that was just unexpected." I assure them, climbing back in between them. Neither of them say a word and I lay there in the dark wondering what her cryptic message meant. I am distracted from my thoughts at Ethan's soft snore and my brain acknowledges how awkward this must be for the two of them, sharing a bed. The random thought makes me smile. And it also is oddly comforting enough to help be fall back asleep. Two people that really don't care for each other are sharing a mattress because they both care about me. Proving, even now, in the early morning hours of my darkest hell, I am loved.


	33. Relapse

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Relapse**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

I am staring at my computer screen, fighting another migraine, and trying to convince myself the pain in my chest is nothing to worry about. I can't remember the last time I had a good night's sleep. I feel like shit and my heart is utterly broken. Truth of it is, I haven't gotten a chance to absorb anything that has happened in the last few days. Learning of Daniel's deceit bothers me more than anyone really knows. Marrying Mike, makes me happy but the press fall out is a down right nightmare. Then of course, one of my great loves is murdered, leaving all of us with questions, where the answers are alluding us. And the hardest for me to grasp is Alec. He almost died on me, right before my eyes; only to live and become the most grief stricken person I have ever met. Not to mention tolerating Ethan. Doing that from afar has been complicated enough but to share a bed with the man for Alec's sake. All of this while trying to run a multi-million dollar entertainment business and heal from not only having my skin being melted off my feet by acid, but being shot in the chest. How I am still functioning I can't tell you.

I hear a knock on my door and smile when Mike walks in. "Hey handsome."

"It's good to see you here." He smiles. "Alec?"

"Him and Ethan are at the youth center." I respond, still not all that happy about Ethan being welcome there, but choosing to keep my mouth shut.

"Okay before I married you this wasn't my business. Now that I have, it is. Are we are just supposed to pretend Ethan being around all the time is okay?" Mike frowns.

"I don't have a problem with Ethan. I have a problem with his family." I study Mike who doesn't even attempt to hide his confusion. "I've known Ethan for a lot longer than I have let on." I explain, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "He has proven trustworthy. Still for me his loyalty has always been in question. I can't tell you if he values Alec or his family more."

"That makes him dangerous." Mike points out.

"Very." I agree. "But Alec trusts him."

"Alec trusted Bobby and look where that lead." Mike sighs. "Sorry, that was out of line. I'm tired."

"I have spoken with both of them, and unbeknownst to Alec, I have someone watching over Ethan. If that man takes a toe out of line he is gone."

"Speaking of people in the background, I need you to identify a few from the funeral." I raise my eyebrow. "I don't know, it's a project of Detective Cole's. Apparently statics show that murderers tend to have a morbid infatuation of attending wakes and funerals of their victims."

I take the tablet and scroll through over thirty faces Detective Cole did not recognize or understand their presence. Of these I was able to narrow the list to twelve unexplained. "I can ask Alec, he does have friends from the community center that I don't know."

"Okay, in the meantime I will send the narrowed list back to Detective Cole to help out."

"Did he take to our terms for his team okay?" I ask.

"He's a bit bitter, there is a lot of egg on his face from Daniel's arrest and your involvement that freed him. But the funding helped not only him but the sheriff. We got our way, that matters. Now they just have to solve it. I did promise to keep him informed if we had any personal leads."

"So he knows my theory that this might not have to do with his sister's kidnappers."

"He didn't like it but he has some of the best on the team looking into it, per my demand." Mike sighs, "This is a high profile case Clay, and you getting Daniel free put Blackboard Entertainment right in the thick of it. However this goes, it will affect our stocks and the companies future."

"Translation we need to find the real killer before our investors think we freed an innocent man because I once dated him."

"Something like that." Mike frowns.

"No pressure." I mutter.

I press my hand to my chest and wince. "What time is that doctor's appointment?"

"This afternoon, does it need to be sooner?" Mike asks concerned.

"No. Remind me, what is on my agenda today? Besides backlog on e-mails and final approval on things?"

"Interview with Eliza." He frowns.

"Oh fuck I forgot about that." I bitch.

"Oh believe me Clay I wish I could cancel it but this is your idea. And no, don't ask to postpone it, I already did for Bobby's funeral and to be honest. I want this over with."

"I won't let her attack you." I assure him. Getting my response with a folder he was holding tossed on my desk. Apparently Daniel had contacted every rag he could think of and spoke of his outrage against Mike. I check the dates of them, knowing my public relations department had warned me about some backlash; most were before Daniel's arrest. "Today's?" I ask, causing Mike to pass me another folder. They were not so pretty either, all accusing my guilty conscious of freeing Daniel, not Daniel's innocents. "Has our legal department contacted them for slander on Daniel's name?"

"They faxed and e-mailed yes, but they don't have a legal ground to stand on." Mike frowns.

"This is why I need to talk to my fans." I sigh. I pull back from my desk and bring my chair next to him. "Sit with me." I offer, tapping my lap. Mike climbs up onto it. "This is going to get really, really personal. Then something else is going to happen in someone else's life and you and I will fall back into the shadows of a semi-private life." I kiss his cheek. "I apologize for everything that has and will happen. I will make sure we get as much privacy as possible okay. Now I know you have always chosen a light security detail but it needs to increase and stay that way." He drops his head in annoyance. "Since the day you became my husband you had to know all those extra suits around you were going to stay."

"Doesn't mean I like it." He bitches.

"Oh please don't be another Alec." I complain, putting my forehead on his shoulder. "You want your privacy Mike, this is the cost."

"How long for all of this to blow over Clay?"

"Two, three months is the average but with Bobby's murder I don't know. I can only hope the publicity helps his case."

"We need to get ready." Mike sighs.

"Okay," I smile starting my chair and powering up to full speed. He wraps his arms around me for dear laugh, giving a small laugh. I get him to the elevators then to hair and make up and finally to Eliza.

"Hey you." I smile.

"Oh Mr. Reynolds, I am so sorry for your loss." She frowns.

"Thank you." I smile at her. "I am under the impression you signed the appropriate non-disclosures and you are aware all the material, written, recorded or otherwise is property of Blackboard Entertainment."

"Of course." She smiles. "My boss hates when I work with you but for once he didn't bitch that we own nothing. Honestly we just want the first to have your side of this intriguing story."

"Then let's get started." I smile, moving myself to the loveseat and taking Mike's hand when he sits next to me.

"Good morning Mr. Reynolds," she smiles at me and to the camera. "It is an honor to be here and speak with you today. I appreciate you taking the time, your life seems rather busy as of late."

I laugh, "Busy is a good way to describe it. Before we get started though I did want to say how lovely you look today Eliza. White compliments you very nicely."

She blushes, "Thank you Mr. Reynolds." She sits back in her chair. "I have to admit, I have so many questions; your fans have so many questions. I am unsure where to start."

"I'd like to talk about my ma'ma for a moment, if you don't mind?"

"Of course." She smiles.

"She was by far my best friend. She supported me in every way and put me in my place when I got lost. She had a theme in almost all her advice. Follow my heart, no matter the cost. My heart is the only thing that will ever lead me to happiness. I miss her terribly and I will never dishonor her or her memory."

"Did you follow your heart when you helped Daniel Kingsley have charges dropped from your friend's murder?" she asks, pointedly.

"No, I followed logic and common sense." I reply dryly, "Besides, I am not the only person who knows he is innocent. Some of whom were with him at the night in question. Daniel's arrest occurred simply because he is the last known person to speak with Bobby Spencer. That doesn't make him a murderer. Bobby was known to be in contact with other people that night and the police are making efforts to track them down. Also, Bobby's vehicle has yet to be found. All that has been found, on the opposite side of town from where Bobby and Daniel Kingsley last spoke, was Bobby's body; which is now laid to rest." I stop for a moment, dropping my head down and then look directly at the camera. "If the evidence could have proven Daniel's guilt beyond a shadow of a doubt he would still be in prison. But it can't and therefore, I helped free an innocent man so the police can concentrate on finding the real murderer to this crime. This has nothing to do with any personal relations I have or have had with Daniel Kingsley, this has everything to do with justice."

"Do you believe Bobby's Spencer's murderer has any connection to you being shot? And is it related to Blackboard Entertainment's recent lock down?"

"I can see how you might draw those conclusions Eliza, I have been hit with several weird events all at once as of late." I smile. I take a breath and proceed to lie through my teeth, "I was shot during a robbery gone wrong. Blackboard Entertainment was on lock down due to a threat to one of my bands. I take my employees safety seriously and we verified resolved the issue as quickly as possible. As for Bobby's Spencer's senseless murder … I have no idea who take such an extraordinarily man out of this world so soon."

"I have to ask Mr. Reyonlds, how are you doing? First you lose your mother to a horrible disease, you get shot and almost lose one of your best friends to poison, and then a different friend is murdered. This cannot be an easy time for you."

"It isn't." I admit. "But I am not going through any of this alone."

"Of course." She smiles as the camera pans out to show Mike. "Some people are saying you married your long time employee as a knee jerk reaction to all the death and near death surrounding you."

"I married Mike Walker-Reynolds because I love him." I respond firmly. "I nearly lost the ability to walk because of a now late, psycho path threatened Mike's life and I risked mine to save him." Her eyes go wide, I never really spoke to the press about what happened. I let them draw their own conclusions when the news broke of Brad's insanity.

"Forgive me Mr. Reynolds, but wasn't Daniel Kinsley's life also in danger that day?"

"It was." I confirm, "It took a lot of logic and risk to save them both but I did."

She adjusts her glasses. "So this psychopath was in love with Daniel. That kind of explains things, but, why did he decide to hurt and almost kill Mike Reynolds-Walker?"

"Because at the time of the attack, Clayton and I had quite recently broken up."

"You dated before?" Eliza asks, panning in on Mike.

"Yes. After Daniel and Clayton broke up the first time, Clay and I . . ."

"I kissed him." I smile. "Out of nowhere I kissed him. I saw him at a club with some guy and thought to myself that he could do better and I walked right up to him and kissed him." Mike blushes, "He didn't know it was me at first until I let him come up for air."

"Yeah, I was surprised, almost smacked him. After all I was on a date with a hot guy. Clay told the guy to take a hike and I wanted to protest but instead I found myself kissing him back. I left my date at that bar and Clay and I became an item."

"Officially." I smile, "I have the human resource documents to prove it."

"What happened? Why the break and get engaged to another man?" Eliza asks.

"When Daniel and I ended it we didn't seem finished." I try to explain. "I thought, I don't know, I thought I made a mistake. But as time went on, I found myself torn between the two. I kept running off all of Mike's new boyfriends."

"That's true, he did. Very annoying." Mike laughs.

"And Daniel, well he changed not only from the first time we dated but from the experience of what that psychopath ex-boyfriend put us all through."

"Changed how?" Eliza asks.

"He lost the ability to trust on some significant levels in our relationship. I tried to help mend that but I was not successful."

"Was that the final nail in your relationship coffin?" she asks.

"Kind of yeah. When he stopped trusting he started lying to not only me but his friends as well. When these lies finally came to light, I wasn't sure what to do. I had just lost my mother and I was so torn and hurt. I finally stopped denying my feelings for Mike and asked Daniel if we could not only postpone our engagement but open our relationship; which he was willing to do. We were both dating other people and each other when I decided to marry Mike."

"So what made you decide between the two?" she asks.

"I'm irresistible." Mike smiles, with a laugh.

I laugh with him and kiss his lips softly before turning to the camera, "Daniel and my ma'ma had made this beautiful farewell documentary. And in it, my ma'ma reminded me yet again to follow my heart. Now I have history with both Mike and Daniel. Mike and I have never once felt forced. Daniel and I however . . . it felt like I was settling, hoping somehow we could find something we lost, but it was gone; some things you can't come back from. It didn't feel right, I can't live like that and be true to my ma'ma's memory. I followed my heart, and it led me to happiness."

"We've talked about your ma'ma. And we have talked about your unexpected, yet very happy marriage. We have touched on your friend's death but we have not talked about the attempted murder on yours and your best friend's life. Whom by the way no one can ever seem to get a name for."

"John Smith." I answer coldly. "Leave it at that." I shake my head, indicating the cameras to turn off. "Matter of fact I think it is best if you drop that question entirely. Also re-ask me two other questions. This time with leaving "my bestfriend" out of them." She stares at me. "I am tired and been put through the ringer Eliza but I am not an idiot. I know when a reporter is baiting me and you are trying to get information about things that is no one's business. Do not make me ban you."

"Of course, Mr. Reynolds, I apologize."

"Don't do it again. I don't care how much of a bonus your boss offers you." I glare. "We will roll through the tapes after this interview and you can ask them properly. This is going to delay the release of this interview, as I am going to personally be editing them. You've officially aggravated me so make sure another story is ran today, piss me off and I will not allow this interview to ever see the light of day." I grab my chest and wince, causing Mike to rub my back to calm me.

"Why did you agree to such a public interview on your life when you are such a private individual?"

"Because my fans have the right to understand. I hand picked you Eliza because I trust you. Don't go making me regret it. Now let's get back to the interview.

She readjusts in her chair and when the camera rolls, she doesn't miss a beat and changes the topic entirely. "You mentioned earlier that _Eyes of Seduction_ is donating their funds to cancer. However, their website states half of the proceeds will be going to victims against drunk drivers as well. May I ask the reason for the reallocation of the donated funds?"

"It's to honor not only my late mother, but my friend and once lover, Bobby Spencer. His parent's died from a car crash and left him an orphan at a young age. Both donations are my way of remembering them."

"I am sorry, did you say lover?" Eliza asks.

"I did," I confirm. "My love life is not usually under a microscope. I can understand your surprise."

"Why admit it now?" she asks.

"To make it clear to everyone that Daniel Kingsley did not get special treatment by me or my company because of his past relation with me. Bobby meant just as much, if not more to me and I would never do anything to jeopardize him receiving justice." Mike and her both smile at me because they realize I orchestrated that line of questioning without dictating any of it.

"Is there anything else you would like your fans to know before you and Mike attempt to slip back into the shadows of a private life?"

"Yes. If anyone has any information at all about Bobby Spencer's vehicle or seen him at all during his last few hours, please come forward. I also want to thank my fans for all the flowers my lobby is flooded with. They are being donated to hospitals and care facilities throughout the city. We are so grateful for all the love. Thank you." I lean over and kiss Mike as Eliza signs off and the interview is officially over.

"Off the record, how is your best friend doing?" she asks.

"As good as can be expected." I reply guarded. "It is nice meeting with you. I will get this to you by tomorrow morning."

"Thank you." She smiles walking out.

I shake my head at her exit only to be distracted by my husband. "You little liar. Kissing me at a club. I believe it was your office and I am the one who kissed you."

I smile. "Yeah well I thought it best not to admit that we were on the clock at the time. Besides, I like to keep my personal life personal. Little fibs like that keep my friends and wantta be's straight."

"Don't hate on wantta be's too much. It took me years but it was worth the effort to get in your inner circle. Glad I did, I mean your cock is so much more delicious than I ever imagined." I laugh only to clutch my chest. "Okay that is it, we are not waiting any more. Come on we are going to your doctor, now."

 **Shattered**

 **Clayton's POV**

"Come on doc, it's not that bad." I smile, slightly concerned. She had just put her stethoscope on my chest for under thirty seconds, dropped it and I find myself staring at a very unamused spunky doctor.

"Not that bad." She says staring at me with the same expression. "I performed a master piece on your heart and you are ruining it. Tell me Mr. Reynolds, do you have a death wish?"

"Clayton." I correct her.

"I'm sorry?"

"Mr. Reynolds is reserved for people who don't know me." I mutter, buttoning my shirt. "Clayton is for my inner circle."

"I'm part of your inner circle?" she asks, still unamused. "I'm sorry, we're friends?"

I smile at her. "I liked you the moment I met you. You give hard facts and don't give or put up with bullshit." For the first time since she heard my heartbeat her face changes. "I'm a charmer and pretty famous, most people are intimidated by me. You're not. I would like to hire you as part of my very short list of trusted doctors, but that requires you to become a part of my inner circle."

"Why should I waste my time with a man willing to kill himself?"

"Come on it can't be that bad. It's just a little pain." I argue, getting more concerned.

"When did it start?"

"When I got shot." I reply sarcastically.

"The burning sensation, when did that start?"

"I noticed it a little after my friends were killed in the fire." I admit, "but I blew it off. Besides, I got a clean bill of health from this hospital, after your insistence of a check up remember."

She glares, "I didn't give you an exam, I was called into surgery."

"Look at my chart doc, you told someone else to follow through."

"Things like this make me hate interns." She frowns, looking at her chart, "that doesn't leave this room. But I will never trust one with you ever again. Did you tell them about the pain?"

"No." I shrug, causing her to take a very careful breath. "Has it gotten worse or about the same?"

"It stayed the same for a long while but it got worse when I got married." I admit, feeling Mike's hand grab mine and squeeze so hard I flinch.

"Oh you mean when you jumped on a plane and traveled a mile above the Earth a few weeks after heart surgery." She replies. "Tell me Clayton, did you consummate your marriage?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask, defensively.

"Didn't happen to do it say a mile above the ground?" I glare at her. "That amazing orgasm you had, in such thin air was followed by a very strong burning sensation. Am I correct?"

"You're saying he strained his heart with sex?" Mike asks, "I did this to him?"

"He's the man that gave me that orgasm." I explain, nodding toward him.

"I figured." She frowns, giving Mike a half a moment of her time. "Congratulations." She turns back to me. "Do you remember me telling you to take it easy? Not to do anything strenuous?"

"I've listened, haven't worked out or run any marathons." I bitch. "It is not my fault I was worried sick for my friend's health and a multitude of my best friends died."

She stops and sits down on her wheely chair and looks at me. "I respect there have been circumstances out of your control. Two attempted murders and five successful ones in your inner circle has to be difficult to process." She studies my chart on her tablet. "I would prescribe you something to cope but you are already on some really powerful stuff. Obviously you are having a rough time with recovery from your skin grafts."

"Was. I'm doing better now." I shrug.

"Stay on the meds or you will make things worse." She warns me. "You wouldn't happen to have access to a little blue pill by chance would you?"

"Fuck," Mike curses dropping his head in guilt.

"I took them twice. They are supposed to be harmless, despite my current medicines."

"Taken on occasion they are, for a healthy man." She agrees, "But you are not healthy. You had a bullet tear through the workings of your heart. I know because I am the one who stitched you back together to save your life. Since the moment you woken up, you have been in denial about the reality you were even hurt, more or less someone wants you dead."

"Not denial." I reply defensively, "I was just concerned for Alec's health."

"Hard to forget." She replies. She sets my chart down and looks at me. "I like you Clayton. I have never in my career had a man so damn insistent on being with someone he loves and so willing put that other person's health above their own. And I am an experienced surgeon, I work on parents and on occasion, children."

"He means a lot to me." I shrug.

"Figured that out on my own. I admit I was surprised to discover you two weren't a couple but that isn't my business. What is my business is your health and that burning sensation you are feeling is your heart leaking into your chest. You need a patch, yesterday."

"That bad? Can it wait? I have to travel on a donation tour I will not miss."

"You want to live, right?" She responds, her face going back to unamusement.

"Patch today, outpatient. Then you take a much needed vacation and hang out with me on the tour." I bargain. "Free back stage passes to _Eyes of Seduction_ are yours, if you say yes."

"He's impossible." She complains to Mike.

"You're telling me." Mike laughs.

"Have you eaten today?" she asks.

"No." I admit, earning a hard sigh from her.

"They good news is you can have surgery today. The bad news is, you need to take better care of yourself." She hands me a gown and walks out of the room.

"Just a little pain, no big deal." Mike quotes me.

"To my defense I have never been shot before. I have no idea what the hell healing from this should feel like." I bitch, working with my clothes.

"We should have called her way before now."

"Been a lot distracted." I snap and regret it instantly. "I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't go on the tour Clayton. You are having complications from being a victim of attempted murder for fucksake!"

"I have to." I argue. "This is important to me."

"You're important to me."

"Will you trust me Mike? I know you are scarred but . . ."

"Not when you are hiding something from me!" Mike snaps. "Don't deny it. And don't think I will cater to lies better than you do. You ended things with Daniel without even informing him of your permanent decision because he lied to you."

I stare at him, contemplating how to respond. That was a low blow and we both knew it. He wasn't exactly encouraging me to tell Daniel before we said our vows. "I need to do something very stupid and very dangerous. The reward is worth the risk. Most likely things are going to go down that I will not be proud of or could possibly really upset you. But if it is what I must do, I will do it." He looks at me in surprise, "I am not telling you, or Alec for that matter, because I am trying to keep you safe. I will not be talked out of it and this is no longer a topic of conversation. You bring it up again to anyone and I will divorce you."

"That is a strong threat," he frowns.

"One I don't take lightly." I assure him.

"I don't appreciate you telling me you are willfully putting yourself at risk and I need to be okay with it or leave. We shared vows Clay. I am meant to stand beside you. You're not just you anymore. And I won't stand for you trying to be."

"Mike this is dangerous."

He shrugs. "Can't be too dangerous, you are taking the girls with you."

"To the city yes, but not to where I am going." I argue.

"Clay, tell me what is going on, show me you trust me." He replies seriously. "Please."

The last thing in the world I want to do is admit to him what the hell I am about to do. But if I don't, and something happens he really will hate me. He's officially backed me into a corner and we both know it. Reluctantly I nod my head, "Alec can't know." I respond evenly, though the words are weird on my tongue. Alec is always the first to know my secrets, then my relationships. Never has it been the other way around before. Guess this is what marriage is.

"What is said between us, stays between us." Mike assures me.

"I was contacted after Alec and I were attacked." I answer truthfully watching Mike stand up straight with wide eyes.

"By who?" he asks.

"That is the part I am protecting you both from." I answer stubbornly. "I am being careful I swear; I know it isn't just me anymore." I give him a weak smile.

"Clay."

"That is all you are getting." I respond pointedly cutting off his objections. "I love you too much not to protect you."

The room fills with tension. He balls his hands a few times, thinking. "I want to come with you."

"Absolutely not." We stare each other down. "Baby if something were to happen to you." I stop and turn away. "I can't risk it."

"You think I don't feel the same way?" He asks angrily. I don't respond. The good news about marrying someone you have known forever is they know when your mind is made up. Sighing he crosses his arms over his chest. "You're not going alone." He glares, consenting to the fact he isn't going to stop me. "I want all our best men with you."

"Then who is going to watch over you and Alec?" I counter.

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

"I don't like this."

"I know." I start to take off my shoes, "I have very good, very loyal, security Mike." I reply dryly. "I have always tried to keep you safe. Fired the fucker that Brad got one over on. Ever since I made your detail the second most coveted position in my company." His facial expression shows a little shock, I shrug, "Don't be surprised I protect what is mine."

"Then protect my heart." He pleads, watching me tuck my socks into my shoes. "I don't want you risking your life. You were almost killed Clay. You have to give a little here. If I can't talk you out of this please, do this for me."

I smile, reaching for his hand. He takes it and pulls me up. I raise an eyebrow and he takes my shirt off, replacing it with the hospital gown. I get the hint and take off my pants. "I'll take five men; that is two more than I planned on. You can handpick the two."

"Must you do this when you have a maniac out there trying to kill you?" he questions.

"You need to let this go." I warn.

"Why aren't you even concerned about finding justice for what happened to you and Alec?"

"Because justice will be served." I explain, touching his cheek. "In time."

"You mean?" he frowns. "You trust Ethan this much? How do you know he isn't lying?"

"I've seen him with his shirt off." I reply, causing Mike to raise an eyebrow. "Alec was in the middle." I add for clarification. "Mike, the man is covered in freshly healing bruises and open cane marks."

"Why?" Mike asks.

"He stands up to his family." I shrug, officially ready for surgery. "It helps with the trust department."

"How long is this going to go on?" he asks, "You three sharing a bed?"

"Don't get jealous of Alec." I warn, coldly.

"I'm not. But my husband is about to have heart surgery. I'd like to share his bed during recovery." Mike frowns.

"Can you not tell Alec about this until I am in recovery?"

He laughs, "Not a chance in hell."

I narrow my eyes but before he can respond my doctor returns. "Special treatment doc?"

"Trust you with an intern again?" she shakes her head, "Nope, I think not." She starts to move the bed while I make myself comfortable on it.

Mike squeezes my hand. "I love you, see you soon. Alec and I will be waiting." He promises me as she takes me away, I blow him a kiss with a glare.

When we turn to the corner into authorized personal only Brooke opens the door for me. "You know your face is plastered all over the tabloids right? Do you have idea how many non-medical questions I have been begged to ask you?" she rolls her eyes and takes us to an elevator.

"Let me help with the annoyance. Daniel lied to me about something important in our relationship and it wasn't forgivable. But being a bad boyfriend does not make him a murderer, especially of a one of our friends."

"It does help but these vultures won't get any answers from me." She shrugs, getting off the elevator and putting us into a small room. "I do have a question, if you don't mind."

"You can always ask." I smile, standing up and moving to a bed where she starts to prep me for surgery.

"You really care about your friend Alec. Yet you aren't together?"

"We make better friends than lovers." I shrug, watching her put an IV in my arm. "Bobby Spencer was Alec's significant."

She stops what she is doing and stares at me. "Here I thought all this damn personal security and special nurses were just an annoyance of you being a famous celebrity. But someone is really after you aren't they?"

"Me and mine, it seems." I frown.

"By the way, I hate being referred to as Doc. You can call me Brooke."

"Will do, Brooke."

"Clayton, just in case you missed it, you are helping their cause when you refuse to rest." She points out as she raises the blankets over me, causing me to wince when my feet feel the rough fabric. "Skin grafts are a bitch." She remarks, pulling the bottom of the blankets up to examine them. "They seem to be healing properly, but the stretching has to hurt like hell."

"It does." I confirm, "The physical therapist that you sent me to is more than helpful though, thank you"

"He is a good friend, I am glad you two are getting along." She replies putting pressure on my foot.

I draw in cold air through my mouth then suddenly the pain in my foot is gone. "What did you do?"

"Calmed an aggravated nerve." She replies. "Better?"

"Yeah. Can you show my husband that?"

"Of course, but right now I need to cut you open to fix the rest of you." She finishes her preparation and wheels me off to an O.R.

We get to the operating room and she asks me to count backwards from ten. "Brooke." I frown, waving off the mask. "Toss in an extra stitch or two okay, I am not the best patient in the world." She gives me her famous half smile, puts the mask on and for the first time since I heard Bobby died, I find my body at rest.


	34. Life or Death

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Life or Death**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

I had the strangest dream when I was under. I was floating above my body, watching them work most the time. I found it morbidly interesting. And I realized I wasn't alone. My ma'ma was there with me. We didn't speak to each other, we simply held hands and watched the doctor work. I was surprised at how bloody the whole thing was. I was never once scared and Brooke seemed calm enough. Then suddenly I felt a shock and my attention was no longer on my surgery but my ma'ma. She smiled at me, shook her head and then the feeling was gone. When I turned my attention back to my surgery Brooke seemed a little less calm and her hands were working faster. The second time it happened I realized, I was dead.

 _"_ _Ma'ma?" I asked, surprised to hear my own voice._

 _"_ _Not yet Clayton." She whispers to me and then she disappears._

Brooke is barking orders and trying to get my surgery finished in a hurry. I continue to float outside my body and watch as everything is completed. My dilemma after the surgery was trying to figure out how to get back into my body. I tried laying down on myself. I tried yelling at my face but nothing seemed to work. I watched as I was attached to machines and Mike and Alec sat next to my bed begging me to wake up.

It was frustrating because I was trying but I simply couldn't figure out how. I sat there for hours, yelling in annoyance at whoever was in charge of this and then it dawned on me. I was dead and both times I was content on leaving but my ma'ma stopped me. The only way I am going to be able to get back into my body is if I really want to get back into my body. I was surprised to find that my will to live was in question. Who questions life? When I really started thinking about it and started to get scared that I was really dead, I found myself being pulled back into my body. I have to say it was one of the most relieving moments of my existence.

When I wake, I suddenly remember that getting shot hurt a lot less than having someone's hands in my chest fixing the damage from being shot. Quickly, I realize I can't breathe and start to chock. I feel hands on me and people's voices, then I feel relief as plastic is taken from my throat. I open my eyes and find Mike and Alec are at my bedside. I lick my lips but I don't have the energy to speak, instead I squeeze their hands and smile. Both look like they are near tears.

"It was just a minor patch guys, I'm fine." I assure them with a scratchy voice.

"You coded on my table twice Clayton." Brooke answers for them, putting her stethoscope to my chest. "They have the right to be scared."

"I died?" I ask, surprised. "Twice?" _Holy shit that wasn't a dream!_

"One minute the first time one and a half the second." She confirms, "But I am stubborn, I brought you back."

"Thank you."

"Thank me with rest and lots of it." She replies seriously. "I am keeping you here for an extra few days. I want to make sure that patch is going to hold before I dare let you out in the real world with it."

"Fair enough." I smile, causing Alec to simply break down. I touch his face, "Hey Angel, I'm right here."

"You are in pain and really hurting." He argues. "No other way you would simply agree to a hospital stay."

"I am not wanting to add to yours and Mike's stress." I correct with a half-truth. "You have less to worry about if I am hooked up to a hospital bed."

My words cause Mike to simply stand up and leave while Alec finds no comfort in them. "What gives?" I demand confused.

"You have a living will Clayton. Two more hours and you were to be unplugged from life support." Brooke informs me. I lay my head back into my pillow, staring at her. "Rest, your body needs it." She tells me leaving the room.

I pull Alec onto my bed and comfort him. "I'm so sorry Angel." I whisper, kissing his hair. "I am here, I came back to you." He doesn't say anything but his crying does seem to calm. Mike walks back into the room and I reach my free hand out to him. He climbs awkwardly into the bed as well and I comfort him too.

Brooke comes in to check on me and finds my support team squishing me. Half amused and half annoyed about possibility of pinching IV's she moves me to a private room and has two extra beds in it. She has the nurses put them together so Alec and Mike can be close and I can heal. I thank her and she shakes her head, jokingly complaining about celebrities and special treatment.

"Like the interview by the way. I think it will really help your image." She shrugs.

I look at her in surprise and then I look to Mike who shrugs, with a guilty look on his face. I smile and kiss his hand as a silent thank you.

Time passes by very slowly. It takes some convincing but I do manage to get Alec and Mike to go to work and let me sleep all day. They only agreed if I allowed our friends to come and watch over me. So I find myself sporadically waking to Lilly watching you tube videos and Monica filing her nails while she watches Netflix on her computer. I have no idea how long each stayed. I was on a lot of meds that kept me from keeping my eyes open much. Each night however, Mike and Alec were there with me. According to their nightly visits calendar today is day three of recovery. When I wake I am very surprised indeed to find Daniel working on a script.

"I have to say, this is a surprise." I smile, causing him to look up.

"Amber told me." He replies, answering my unspoken question. "You almost die and I don't get a phone call?"

"Considering the mess you have made in the tabloids, I didn't think you wanted to see me." I reply, reaching for my water.

"Well being called an innocent liar on national television hurt my reputation more than my being a sore loser hurt yours."

"Wasn't a contest." I reply, sucking on my straw.

He puts his script in his bag and studies me. "I love you." I try to interrupt but he shushes me by holding up his hands. "I love you. I know you don't want to hear it. I know you have chosen another man but that doesn't stop my feelings. I don't want you dead Clayton. I want you to take care of yourself and if you think Mike is the best man for that job he needs to step up and be an ass to you; like you need sometimes, to properly rest."

"Mike is not nor ever was the problem." I reply. "Not sure if you have been paying attention but right after Alec was saved from a near death experience, four my friends were brutally murdered. And just last week Bobby, an ex-lover and dear friend was found dead. Both of which required me to be at the top of my game. Don't go blaming my husband for my stubbornness, even you Daniel Kingsley would have not been able to stop me."

"I'm sorry." He replies. "I always say the wrong things around you lately." I look away from him. "I should go. I just wanted you to know that despite everything, no matter how much we managed to hurt each other, I do love you." I turn to him unsure what to say. I was not going to tell him I had feelings, I don't. Those were destroyed the moment I learned he lied to me our entire relationship. "Get better Clayton." He finally says, picking up his bag and leaving the hospital room.

I sit in the silence for a very long time, too angry to go back to sleep. And just when I am about to I find my doctor coming to visit me. "Another check up?"

"Yes," she smiles taking a moment to listen to my heart. "Do you mind if I take another look at your feet?" I raise an eyebrow at her. "Humor me." I don't protest when she lifts the blankets and then starts to do a massage that I didn't know existed. At first it hurts like hell but then it feels amazing. "How often are you walking?"

"I am moving from chair to bed or whatever. Standing some." I shrug.

"And it's excruciating and causing you not to do more right?"

"I have been warned this is my last chance at a graft. If this doesn't take, I'm done." I frown.

"That's the thing Clayton, it has taken. See?" she smiles, showing me how my new skin is pinking up with pressure. "Your muscles on the other hand, they are weak which is why they are sore." I frown at her. "How many grafts?"

"Three." I admit.

"Shouldn't be surprised." She lectures. "But . . ." I gasp from the pressure she puts on my foot. "I'm surprised my friend hasn't gotten you to do more physical exercises."

"Yeah, might help if I show up to all my appointments." She glares at me. "No, don't. You have seen the tabloids, my life is a fucking mess right now."

"It's your life Clayton but if you want a shot of walking then you need to start taking care of yourself. My professional opinion, you need to add massage therapy and you need to start walking both in and out of physical therapy."

"You're serious, you want me to walk?"

"Crutches Clayton. Use crutches." She states firmly. "Your feet and legs need to learn how to handle your body weight again. It will take some time, but you have graduated from that wheel chair."

"Seriously?" I ask, skeptical.

"You would have gotten the news sooner had you kept your appointments." she smiles. Admittedly, I had been avoiding him because I was scared of a bad outcome and my life isn't one for good news these days. "I have a friend who is an excellent plastic surgeon, he can give you a second opinion if you would like. Just to be sure your grafts are ready." I nod. "Okay, but when I do finally give you those precious release papers that I know you are dying for, you will be going home on crutches. No more wheelchairs, no more foot bandages."

"Brooke, come on now, walking I can do but the skin is so sensitive." I complain.

"Try to avoid socks too. I know the skin is tender but it will toughen up. Skin is good at that kind of thing."

"Thanks." I smile.

She leaves me in a cheerful mood and not much longer her plastic surgeon friend confirms her assessment. I haven't felt this good since I chose to marry Mike, but my mood quickly turns sour when Ethan walks through my door. "Alec asked me to come ahead of him, a kid is really needing someone to talk to at the youth center. I hope you don't mind."

"You are not the worst company I have had today." I reply with a shrug. "Truthfully I am surprised I haven't seen you before now."

"I had a damn business meeting in Chicago I could not get out of. I rarely travel but when I do, it's mandatory." He turns on the television. "I'm glad you pulled through Clayton, Alec can't lose you right now."

"And?" I glare.

He gives me a knowing smile. "When you are healthy, I am going to fucking kick your ass for doing this to him to start with! Get off the river of denial and take fucking care of yourself or I will fucking chain you to a bed and do it for you. Understood."

I give him a nod. I so deserved that. "How is he?"

"You are laid up in a hospital bed for half a week because all you have done since you got a bullet to your chest is worry about him. How do you think he is doing?" Ethan retorts.

"He should not feel guilty." I reply, frustrated.

"You are not the only one he has to lean on." Ethan reminds me.

"I'm still going to New York." I inform him, earning a stern look. "Don't look at me like that, this is way too important. Besides, I got my doctor to agree to come with me."

"I know it is important Clayton but must you do it now?"

"Yes." I reply. "You are not going to talk me out of this so don't try."

"Alec cannot know I sent you on this adventure." Ethan frowns.

"You know how I hate secrets." I snap. "He will find out after."

"Then I guess, I will find out after." He shrugs.

"Find out what?" I ask confused.

"If he really wants me or if I am just comfortable." Ethan answers.

"It amazes me how insecure you are about his feelings." I reply curiously.

"He's my slave, Clayton. I know you don't take that as serious as it is. But it is very serious. The man doesn't have free will around me. I have always tried to let him, anyway. Contradicting and fucked up as that is. It does tend to leave one to question if the feelings are genuine or not."

"Then free him and see if he stays." I reply dryly.

"Not with Pricilla and Sebastien trying to kill him every other day." Ethan dismisses.

"What good it has done this far!" I snap, causing pain in my chest.

"You need rest, stop raising your blood pressure!" Ethan barks. I glare at him. "Do you have any idea how many times I have saved his life? How many times I saved yours?" He shakes his head. "I have seen him turn his back on love! Swearing it isn't worth the pain!" My face contours into a look of worry. "Let me guess when he told you everything, he left that part out didn't he?"

"Yeah I guess so." I frown.

"I tried to teach him the good in it, but I wasn't the one who could do that. You did that Clayton. And fuck if you haven't hurt him the most. Well, then again Owen and now Bobby." Ethan looks away for a long moment before he finishes his thought. "You almost died on him Clayton, the day after he buries Bobby you almost die."

"You're really pissed at me." I realize. "Not just care for Alec kind of pissed, but as a friend pissed."

"You're a smart man." He admits with flashing eyes. "You are notorious for not caring about yourself. Case in point, your feet should have been healed months ago. You can't treat your heart the same way Clayton, it has proven it will give out!"

"The more I get to know you the harder it is to hate you." I bitch. "You really love my Angel don't you?"

"I do. Against my better judgement and my family's wishes."

"Promise me something."

"What?"

"You won't hesitate to take him away from here to save his life." Ethan's eyes flashes to mine. "I would want contact, somehow, there is always a way. But you will not let him become a victim of this war."

"That is just it Clayton I don't know who killed Bobby. It could be The Dolore or it could be my family."

"I know." I put my half-forgotten water back on the table. "If it is The Dolore and Xzavier is responsible, I don't know what that will do to him Ethan."

"And if it's my family, it would be my worst nightmare." Ethan frowns.

"Question is, when push comes to death Ethan, who and what will you chose to die for?"

He looks me dead in the eye, "Alec, I chose Alec."


	35. Puzzle Pieces

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Puzzle Pieces**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

I finally convince Brooke that I will rest and swear to her I will only do half days at work for a few weeks, earning my release papers. Mike and Alec are both elated to see me get out of that wheel chair in the lobby on the hospital, place myself on crutches and exit on my own two feet. I too couldn't help but smile. My feet accepted the grafts, I am healing, now I just have to get back to living.

I spend the next two days doing as promised. I start my mornings at the office with a breakfast meeting where Mike, Zach and I catch up. Then after lunch I head over to Alec's, allow him to fret over my well-being, and spend time with him. I try protesting him taking half days at work but it proves a losing battle.

We spend the time in bed. However we were not relaxing and watching television. Instead, Alec has moved all of Bobby's work and research into the room and we are trying to figure out who his source was and how that managed to get him killed. We end up making two piles of evidence. One supporting Bobby being loyal to us and the other being loyal to The Dolore. It is long, frustrating and tedious. It feels like we were doing nothing but chase our tails.

"I wish someone would just claim it." Alec admits to me. "Then I would go on a shooting rampage and kill them all." I touch his cheek in understanding.

"Who do you think did this?"

"I honestly don't know." Alec answers pulling at his hair in aggravation. "You were at his funeral, no one from his life before his choice to enter Chloe's was even there. Not a single soul."

"Which support's Ethan's theory that he was undercover for the Dolore." I frown.

"Do you think his own brother could have had him killed?" Alec asks.

"From my limited understanding and the fear of anyone who seems familiar with the Dolore it is a plausible theory." My answer does not soothe his anxiety in the slightest. "Do you think Pricilla did it? I mean Brad did die."

"If she did I will kill her with my bare hands." Alec answers, anger flashing in his eyes. "Do you believe in visions?"

"Visions?"

"Yeah, the kind in dreams." He clarifies.

"Sometimes, why?"

"Glory said something to me that, I can't seem to let go of. She said answers don't always bring peace."

"She isn't wrong." I shrug. "Question is, are you looking for peace or justice"

"Justice." He answers. "There is no peace to be found after five people I love are murdered. There is only justice."

I take his hand and give him a worried smile. "We will get their justice Angel, one way or another. I promise."

"Only way we are going to do that is deciphering these damn files. Fuck Clayton look at what we are collecting, it's a fucking coin toss."

"We're missing something." I frown, "We'll find it and when we do, all of this will make more sense." I encourage, trying not to give up myself. He gives me a doubtful look and continues reading. I myself am trying to figure out a timeline. It gives me a blaring headache but it will be useful in deciphering this chaos. But watching Alec witness the reveal of Bobby's skeletons is taking a toll. I can only hope in the end Bobby's love for Alec was as real as we all hope it to be. Because if it isn't, even I won't be able to save Alec's heart from turning to coal.

The days start to run together after that moment. All of it leaving me mentally exhausted. Adding to it, I took Brooke's advice and started to attend my therapy sessions and added massage therapy to it. The living arrangements got crowded. Ethan kept sticking around and the research project took so much time I usually ended up crashing there. Mike decided to bring some of his things by too after he realized I was not going to move into his place and we had yet to buy a house. This caused Ethan and Alec to share a bed while Mike and I stayed in the guest room.

To be honest I was grateful when the tour was finally approaching. I needed a break from all of it. Plus my marketing department was in a frenzy. I wasn't worried with all the free personal press lately, I kept mentioning the concert every chance I got and it didn't take long for all three cities to sell out. I couldn't tell Alec what was going on but I gave him the subtlest warning I could. The night before the tour I pulled him aside.

"Do you trust me Alec?"

He raises his eyebrow at me. "What kind of question is that?" He asks insulted.

"Alec, there is a possibility of something big happening. It could fall through. But if it doesn't . . . I need you to trust me."

"This something big going to put you in danger?"

"There is a possibility of that yes." I answer, meeting his eyes. "The reward is worth the risk." He drops his eyes and puts his hands in his pockets. "Please say something."

"I don't like it Clayton but you are a grown man, I can't stop you. All I can ask is that you better know what you are doing and you better be careful." He walks away from me without another word.

The next day I wake at the crack of dawn and get my bags going. I decide to make Mike breakfast and spend a few reassuring moments with him. We have a nice conversation which is going well until I make him promise not to do any of my personal finances until I get home. He gets very concerned with that and it takes me a long while to get him to trust that I am not going on a suicide mission. He isn't the happiest when I leave but I don't have time to change that, I am already running a little behind. I kiss him passionately before I grab my things and head off to the bank.

God I hate coming here and I normally make Mike do it but that would destroy the purpose of the surprised. I get annoyed very quickly when it is finally my turn and I ask to make a cashier's check out in such a large amount of money. Not because I have to fill out all the damn extra paperwork to prove I am not a terrorist but because the damn bank manager gets involved.

"Mr. Reynolds, good morning." The bank manager smiles. "I'm Jeff Gillian."

"Good morning." I answer dryly. "Is there a problem? I am sure my account has more than enough funds."

"Yes, indeed, though you have made a lot of large withdrawals lately." He frowns.

"You have a point?" I ask, guarded.

"In compliance of the Patriot Act we need to know what this cashier's check will be used for." He answers.

"I am buying my husband a wedding gift." I answer bored. "It's a rare vinyl that is obvious worth more than it's weight in gold."

"Really, may I ask the band?"

"No." I respond defensive. "Forgive me, but I like my private collection of things to stay private."

"Of course." He replies. "Is there anyway we could possible talk you into allocating this money into something more useful? Maybe a high interest CD or some stock?"

Now I am officially pissed off. "Look, Mr. Gillian is it?" I reply, showing my anger, "I get it, you are losing a lot of capital here. But I am making this purchase and if you can't handle that I will be more than happy to take all of my funds elsewhere."

"No of course, that won't be necessary." He smiles, causing me to glare. I am not in the slightest amused.

"If there isn't anything else I need my check please, I have a flight to catch." I reply coldly.

The bank manager finishes making the damn check and I quickly make my way to the private airport, trying to get into a better mood. Mike is about as happy as me doing this as he ever was but at least this will be behind us soon. When I get there I find all five of my guards and Brooke waiting for me. The girls had left on a bus a few days prior and I am meeting up with them tonight. I hate having all these damn guards but I do take pictures of them on the plane with me so Mike will worry less. I give a short meeting of my expectations and then plug in to my music for the rest of the trip. Well mostly, Brooke turns out to be a nervous flyer so we exchange small talk and I don't bitch about all the damn times she insists on listening to my heart. I hate that damn stethoscope and could not have been more grateful to land.

When we do I take Brooke with me to a private collector's house. This guy has some really valuable stuff so his security doesn't surprise me. It is highly annoying that they take forever and a damn day to clear all of us, because they weren't expecting two guards or my doctors but eventually we are allowed onto the back patio where this guy is having tea.

"Forgive the delay Mr. Reynolds but you didn't forward all the names to me."

"Unexpected circumstances required more personal." I shrug, "Mr. Castillo this is my doctor and dear friend Brooke."

"Pleasure." She smiles.

"Please do have a seat you two." He smiles. "Tea?"

"No thank you." I object. "Caffeine and heart surgery don't go well together."

"Sure." Brooke answers nervously.

My security team keeps their distance, two watching the scene, three keeping an eye on the perimeter. "May I see it?"

"Straight to business I see." Mr. Castillo frowns.

"Sorry, we are on a tight schedule." I shrug.

"Right, one of your famous bands are performing tonight." He smiles, handing over the vinyl I have come for. I take it out of the sleeve and then the paper, carefully inspecting the wear, making sure there are not any gouges or scratch marks. "You will find it in pristine condition."

I smile, standing up slowly and walking it over to the record player in the corner. I inspect the needle before I place it on the record. I smile when I hear the sound, there is nothing like the good old fashion vibe you get from vinyl. MP3's just lose something magical. Almost satisfied I lift the needle to the song that I came for and grin. This is exactly what I have been looking for. I turn to Mr. Castillo. "You are satisfied with the price we discussed then?"

"Of course." He shrugs.

I take out a cashier's check and hand it to him. "Feel free to verify the funds."

"I'm surprised you didn't just wire it." The man notes.

"I am trying to surprise my husband." I reply, carefully taking the needle off the record. "A cashier's check buys me an extra day to get it in his hand before he sees the withdrawal."

Mr. Castillo does take the time to verify the funds while I put the record securely back into the safe contents of it's cover. Once our business is completed we thank each other and we make our way out of there. Once in the car Brooke turns to me.

"Do I even want to know how much that cost?"

"No." I smile. "But it is worth it. Mike's worth it."

"If you say so." She replies, shaking her head. "By the way, I went to make a student loan payment the other day only to discover I don't have any student loans. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"Me?" I ask, trying to hide a smile.

"I don't know how you managed to do that, it's creepy." She complains.

"I do extensive background checks, I thought I warned you." I shrug.

"So you get my social security number and my account in these background checks and just decide to pay off all my debt?"

"You saved my life more than once." I answer seriously. "Nothing I do could thank you enough for that." She stares at me. "I am sorry if I offended you. I rarely do things like this but when I do I always pay the source of the problem and try not to make a big deal about it with the individual."

"I never thought I would thank someone for identity theft." She replies. "But thanks."

"Your identity is much safer now than it ever was. Trust me, I am paying for that protection." I assure her. "And you're welcome." Silence falls between us. "I am starving." I bitch changing the subject. "Let's find a place to eat." She smiles, "I'm buying. I warn."

We make our way to a restaurant that Brooke insisted up because she wasn't in the mood for anything fancy. I respected that and her and I started to work on the friendship portion of this inner circle thing. I discover that some idiot let her at the alter because he felt she was having an affair with her career. And then I discovered she is considering a research project that I learn way too much about. I assure her she has my support but she has to promise to still have time for me and jokingly remind her that I am very needy. She laughs.

The day drags on after that. But finally, I am sitting here watching the girls sign autographs to the V.I.P. guest, while trying to pick Que from the crowd. Around the time I am sure I am being stood up and am on the verge of accepting disappointment something happens that I could have never prepared for.

"Clayton Reynolds?" My eyes look toward the voice and I see a man with a woman I thought I would never see again.

"Faith!" I call only to have her blocked from my approach by the man who spoke my name.

"You got a place to talk?" he asks.

I study Faith, she is nothing but skin and bones, her eyes dead. "Let her go unharmed and I will let you chose where we talk."

He looks me up and down, "Bold move." He then nods, letting Faith go. "Get lost." He tells her. She hesitates for a moment, staring at me. I give her an encouraging nod and with some reluctances she starts to back away. Not wasting time I wave over my security, "Take her to see Brooke, don't allow anyone to ask her anything but medical questions." I turn back to the man and find that he is walking away, annoyed I wave off the concerned security guard, "Keep your distance." I warn, following the guy past a closed door. I find myself walking into a deserted corridor of the hall. The man stops, looks around and before I can react I my body is pinned to the wall while he searches me for a wire or weapon.

"My name is Tyriess. I represent Quinten Malocchio." he informs me, holding out his hand to shake once he is sure I am not bugged or armed. I glare at him, leaving my hands at his side. He drops his hand, "I am assuming you know who he is."

"Might have heard the name." I shrug.

He gives a half smile. "I have a message for Alec Impavido."

"Alec?"

"You are friends are you not?"

"Not the point. Why come to me and not Alec himself?"

"Because I don't leave New York and he would never come to us. This was a … logical solution." Tyriess answers bored. "The message is simple. Faith is free. Consider her a peace offering for Pricilla's inappropriate emotional reaction after her cousin Brad died."

"Inappropriate emotional reaction?" I reply dryly. "You realize you are referring to two attempted murders?"

Tyriess shrugs. "You both lived. Faith's freedom is the balance. Continue to look for trouble and my Sir will be forced to snuff out every last member, active or not, of the Angles of Justice."

"Considering we are dropping like flies that isn't much of a threat." I glare.

"If you are referring to the recent murder spree, that wasn't us, as I am sure you are already aware."

"So you take no claim to Bobby's death as well? Alec's mate for Pricilla's cousin."

Tyriess gives an amused smile. "Can't deny the irony of poetic justice can you. Too bad she had nothing to do with it, it would have pleased her so very much to be."

I slam my hand against the wall. "Are you looking for a beat down because I am in the fucking mood!" I warn.

He laughs, "Do it! Start a war between The Quattro and Angels of Justice. I have been wanting Alec to fucking die for years!"

I stare at his devious smile before I take a step back but keep eye contact. "What the hell do you have against Alec?"

Tyriess looks disappointed for a moment before he goes back to looking bored. "Don't be so naive Mr. Reynolds; most of us hate him."

"Us?" I ask.

"Slaves." Tyriess answers coldly. "True human slaves, like Alec."

"You sound just as brainwashed as he is." I answer annoyed.

Tyreiss stares at me for more heartbeats than I feel comfortable with. "Do you have any idea what would happen if I didn't go back to Que tonight?" I raise an eyebrow. "No of course you don't, Alec has never experienced anywhere near the terror as the rest of us."

"What the hell are you talking about? Alec was put through hell!"

Tyreiss laughs, but looks truly offended. "Your friend has been _very_ protected. So protected it has left him very naïve and foolish." He turns to leave.

"Wait!" I call out. "What do you mean?"

Tyriess's face contours into bitterness for a moment before he corrects his features. "Anyone can count the number of times the Quattro has freed a slave. Before today, there was only one." Tyriess spits on the floor, "Your precious friend is special, which has made him a target for many years. To be honest I am surprised he is still alive."

"What makes him so special?" I ask as Tyriess takes a few steps back.

"He pissed off the wrong guy when he was about seventeen. It made him valuable to My Sir."

"How?"

"It gave Alec power over my Sir's greatest enemy." Tyriess answers with a shrug, turning away and walking down the dark hall.

"Why doesn't Alec know any of this?" I call after his retreating form.

"Who says he doesn't?" Tyriess answers over his shoulder. Leaving me with more questions than answers.


	36. Faith

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Faith**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

After I gain my composure and I head back to my security. The moment they see me they hand me a phone. "CLAYTON REYNOLDS!"

"Mike, I am unharmed." I assure him, trying to calm him.

"YOU ARE AN IDIOT! NOTHING IS WORTH YOUR LIFE!"

"I have Faith Cole." I respond, hoping this will stop the screaming.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Not now. I need to check on her. I will be in touch." Before he could yell at me anymore I hang up. I find my way back to the V.I.P. party and in the corner I see Brooke sitting with Faith. Wincing I head over and sit down.

"Heart or feet?" Brooke asks, reading the pain in my face.

"Feet." I reply, causing Faith to jump a little and hug herself when she realizes I am close. "It's okay. I am not going to hurt you. No one is ever going to hurt you again."

"I don't know why I am here."

I study her for a moment. "Do you remember me Faith?"

"Vaguely, maybe," she answers studying my face, "I was told you are a friend of my brothers."

"I am also a friend of Alec Impavido." I answer softly. She gives me a sad smile. "You're going home Faith, that is why you are here."

"How? I know these people, how they work. There was a price."

"It's been paid." I assure her standing up. I walk out of her ear shot on my crutches and Brooke follows me. "Is she hurt?"

"Malnutrition, lots of bruising." Brooke answers in disgust.

"I honestly thought she was dead." I admit. "She is a dear friend of Alec's. Please do what you can." I frown. "I'll pay you for your silence."

"Who the hell is after you and your friends?" Brooke demands. "Why aren't you surprised by her condition?"

"Questions like that will put you in needless danger." I reply. "If you want to walk away when we get back to Texas that is fine. But right now I need you to be there for her. And I don't want you asking her a million questions."

"Are you into something illegal?"

"No." I answers coldly. The look on her face tells me she isn't going to let this go. Sighing I add, "I help those who are victims to violence get out. It doesn't make me very popular with criminals, which is why I got shot. Faith is a victim Brooke. Will you help her or do I need to call one of my other doctors?"

"So we're adding superhero to your fame then. I am surprised you don't have a damn cape." She bitches, with a smile.

"Capes are so last year." I laugh.

"I'll do what I can."

"Thank you." I smile, heading over to the girls. I tell them I am exhausted and that we really need to wrap this up. They ask for another half hour and I wait impatiently after I find my crutches. Brooke finds me after about twenty minutes. "How is she?"

"I think she is alright, but I would know more with x-rays."

"You remember that famous treatment that you hate?"

"What about it?" she replies skeptically.

"You are about to be in the middle of it. And be sure you cover your tracks. I don't want a single record left of what you are about to do."

"Say again?"

I pull my cell phone out. "We're going to be utilizing the resources of the nearest urgent care that is currently closed. You are getting the keys. When you are done, you will come back to the hotel."

"I like the plan. I can treat her better."

"Good, now humor me." I hold up my finger and then video conference Mike.

"Hey." he smiles when he answers.

"Look at me baby." I tell him drawing the camera all over my face. "Brooke." I wave. "Give Mike an update on my health." I hand Brooke the phone, keeping the camera off of Faith. Brooke assures Mike that I am just fine and then hands the phone back to me.

"What is going on?" Mike asks the moment he sees me again.

"Code Orange."

Mike's eyes widen in pure shock. "Clay!"

"It's boss." I correct. He gives me a look and I glare at him. "Text me the information. We need it now."

"On it." He replies reluctantly and hangs up.

I turn to the security team who has not left my side. "Get them to the cars I will text you the address. Make sure all evidence of your visit is erased. I need you to be ghosts." They give me a nod and I stand and place my mouth next to the leader's ear. "You can tell Mike about Faith tomorrow."

Without another word I make my way back stage where Monica and Lilly are finishing up with their final signatures. When we are semi-alone Lilly turns to me. "Clayton is that the cop that went missing in Texas?"

"Yes."

"Is this why we are in New York?" Monica asks.

"No." I admit. "I wasn't expecting this. I was hoping to get answers about Bobby."

"Did you get them?" Monica asks.

"No." I frown. "Just more questions." I shake it off, "We need to wrap this up. I want you ladies safe in our hotel in an hour."

I walk away from them on my crutches unsure what to even think, more or less do. "Fuck!" I curse out loud.

I get back to the hotel, battling a migraine. I know I can't sit on this forever but I am still working on dealing with it myself. I look at my phone and realize I have way too many text messages. I don't bother to read them. I know Mike is freaking out. Annoyed I send him one text assuring him I was fine and that I would explain in the morning. Before he could drive me even more crazy I turn my phone off.

I pick up my room phone and tell them I do not want to be disturbed. Then I sit and wait until there is a knock on my door. When I open it I find Brooke. "Where's Faith?"

"Next room." she shrugs. "You can open the adjoining door." I stand there looking at her. "You gonna let me in?"

"Yeah, sorry." I respond stepping aside.

She walks in making a beelines to the adjoining door, opens it, waves to Faith and sits down at the table. "She has a lot of healed fractures, but no internal bleeding."

"That's good."

"You seem upset Clayton. And I am not just talking about Faith and her health." She frowns, listening to my heart again. "Not to mention my phone is blowing up, Mike won't stop texting me."

"I just want to sleep." I frown. "But I need to hang out with Faith before I do."

"Why don't you let Lilly and Monica do that? I can give you something that will help you rest." I give her a dismissive look, she knows I hate medicine. "You need it Clayton, it's been a long day."

Agreeing with her I call the girls room and invite them over to mine. The moment they enter they rush at Faith offering her chocolate everything and promising a massive shopping sphere before they get home. I can't help but smile, because Faith may be a little overwhelmed by them but she is able to keep up with their enthusiasm. Thank the heavens her spirit wasn't broken.

"We can shop some here then fly to Portland the day of the concert. Maybe a little in Kansas but most definitely when we get home." Monica freights and starts asking about sizes. We all decide on room service we try to catch up. Mostly the girls are talking and that is okay. They end up ordering room service and watching a movie before Lilly and Monica head back to their room.

After I get ready for bed, I go to close the adjoining door.

"Please don't." Faith calls.

I stop and look at her. "Okay." Unsure what to say to her I run my hands through my hair. "I'm sorry if the girls were overwhelming."

"Don't be. It's nice. They are sweet. They didn't ask about any elephants or anything."

"Yeah, they are good people." I hesitate, "Would you like to call your brother?"

She thinks about it for a long while before shaking her head. "Not tonight."

"Okay, option is open when you are ready."

"Thank you." She replies.

I walk back into my room trying to absorb everything that has happened. Unsure what the hell to do next.


	37. Cautious

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Cautious**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

The girls and I spent two days dragging Faith around the streets of New York to get her absolutely everything she could ever need and more. When the adventure is finally over we are packing the plane with over twenty pieces of new luggage before we fly to Portland. We get to the city hours before the concert. The girls head straight to the venue but I go to the hotel to set up Brooke and Faith for the night. I had pre-registered my room so it doesn't take long to get my room key and head up the elevator. When I walk in there is a man sitting in the chair. I recognize him instantly.

"Mike?" I question. "I thought I told you to stay put!"

"Like that was going to happen!" He bitches, crossing his arms over his chest. "Code Orange and then you turn your phone off!"

"Long story." I reply.

"Cliff notes version!" Mike demands.

I take a few breathes to calm myself, before I answer calmly. "I met a Quattro slave that said he represented Que. He told me something I don't know if I should believe." I swallow hard. "He freed Faith as a peace offering for Pricilla trying to kill Alec and I."

"Faith?" He replies surprised.

"She's in the next room." I shrug.

"Seriously?" I nod, he studies me for a moment longer. "What did this slave tell you exactly?"

"I'm not ready to answer that." I frown. "I'm not shutting you out Mike, I swear. I just need to talk to Alec first. You can be there if you'd like, but I don't want any more conspiracy theories in my head."

"You don't need to process alone." He frowns.

"I need you to trust me when I say, yes I do." I reply looking him straight in the eyes. Mike stares at me for a long while. Unable to take all of his unspoken questions I go to my luggage and pull out the vinyl. I had it wrapped in one of my shirts for safe keeping. "I've been wanting to give you this for a while. Kind of a wedding gift. But getting my hands on it has not been easy. I did manage to do so yesterday." I hand it to him. "This is the reason I didn't want you looking at my bank account. I was going to wrap it, but since you are here …"

Curious he takes the shirt of the record and stares at an originial copy of _Hello Little Girl_ , signed by John Lennon. "Clay." He whispers holding it preciously for what it is. "This is the first song he ever wrote."

"I know. You might be a little obsessed with the _Beetles._ " I smile.

"This is too much Clay." He whispers trying to give it back.

"No such thing." I argue. "You deserve it on both a personal and professional level."

He stares at it a while longer. "Thank you."

I smile. "You're welcome." I look at the time and frown, I have a flight to Kansas tomorrow. "Since you are here, do you mind attending the concert in my stead? I'm exhausted Mike, I need to sleep before I get back to central standard time."

"Not so fast." He glares, carefully putting the record down on the table. "Was this slave the one who contacted you after you were attacked? Did you know about Faith this whole time?"

"No." I assure him. "Faith was a complete surprise."

"And the slave?"

"I wasn't necessary expecting that." I admit. "I thought it would be more dangerous. Que himself perhaps."

"You are lucky it wasn't Que!" Mike snaps. "You shouldn't have done this alone! You promised to be with me, and you keep something like this from me? Do you have any idea how much danger you could have gotten into!"

"Forgive me for protecting you."

"Stop it!" he seethes. "I am one of you, remember. An angel. You have to stop acting alone and reckless! You want me to forgive you after you shut me out on something like this!"

"Shut you out? I told you everything I dared! I am trying to keep you safe. And for the record, I shut Alec out more." I remind him.

"Not helping!" He warns. "You thought you were meeting Que! What the hell was the plan Clayton?"

My eyes widen, Mike never calls me Clayton. He's furious, his entire body is damn near vibrating. Cautiously I answer him with the truth. "I wanted to confront Que face to face. Alec and I were damn near killed. I was hoping it was enough to bargain for Alec's freedom. Instead it appears to be enough to get Faith's. Though to be completely honest, I'm actually pissed Que sent a slave to do his fucking bidding."

"Thank the heavens for small favors!" Mike snaps. We fall silent as he stares at me, working to calm his own temper. When he has control of his emotions he speaks calmer, "Had you not shut me out on the fact you planned on meeting with the head of The Quattro, I wouldn't be so angry." He responds, his eyes liquid furry. "But you did. You don't trust me, your own husband."

"To be fair I planned this before we got married." I reply sarcastically.

"Seriously, not helping!" he warns getting angry again.

"Mike," I reply reaching for him.

"No!" he responds, jerking away from my touch. "You don't forgive people who break your trust. I've never broken your trust, why because apparently I haven't earned it? And here you are, breaking mine!"

"How have I not trusted you? By protecting you? I get you are angry and scared Mike but you knew more than Alec before I came here. You asked me to trust you and I gave you what I could give. So tell me how the hell have I broken your trust? By not wanting you near this?" I demand. "Damn it, I hate that you are! I want to . . ."

"What keep me away from your life?" he asks, truly offended. "What are we doing? What is this? I mean, I think we went too fast Clay. We obviously went too fast."

"Mike."

"Get some sleep, you need it." He stands up and heads for the hotel door.

"Mike please, don't leave without promising to come back." I call after him, stopping him in his tracks. "You can hate me right now, that's okay, I earned that; but please promise to come back." I beg.

He stands in one spot for a very, very long time. I sit there, trying to breathe as tears spill out of my eyes. Finally he turns toward me. "This is it Clay. You get away with this shit once! You ever shut me out again . . ."

"I won't, I promise." I interrupt.

"You promise what? That you won't shut me out or that you will trust me?"

"Damn it Mike I do trust you! You wouldn't be where you are with me personally or professionally if I didn't!" I hiss. "You've seemed to have missed it. You and Alec are the people I trust most in this world!"

"What did this slave tell you?"

"You don't have time for that, the concert is starting soon." I argue. "Mike I swear, I will tell you."

"Short version." He demands, through clenched teeth.

Not really wanting to say this out loud without Alec being able to explain it, I frown. But Mike isn't giving in and I know if I don't answer him the odds of him walking out on me are astronomical. "He referred to something happening when Alec was a teenager. My best guess is that it has something to do with Glory, but I can't be sure. Whatever it was, it got the attention of The Quattro's enemies and The Quattro themselves. He told me Alec was protected which he seemed very bitter about."

"Why couldn't you just tell me this ten minutes ago, why continue to shut me out!"

"Because I am guessing!" I frown. "Alec has always been honest with me that he holds back. He could know all of this and simply never told me. He could know more about everyone's death than he is letting on."

"You honestly believe that?"

"I don't know what I believe right now Mike." I reply, feeling a sudden wave of fresh exhaustion.

He studies me for a moment longer. "I'm not ready to forgive you just yet Clay." He replies honestly. "And I would prepare myself for Alec to feel the same way if I were you. He's pissed. I've never seen him this angry before. I would suggest you call him, sooner rather than later."

Mike's reluctance to forgive me hurts worse than I want it to. "Okay, but I am not telling him about Faith until we get home." Mike's glare shows his disapproval. "Come on, the man deserves good news and I selfishly want to see his face." I explain.

He gives a deep sigh opens the door and turns to me. "I'm coming back to you … this time … I promise." He walks out to get to the concert. I close my eyes to avoid the reality of watching him go. I absolutely hate the past twenty-four hours. Knowing my hell isn't over I lay back on the bed, trying not to feel sorry for myself. Aware the longer I put Alec off the worse it is going to get, I force myself to call him.

"Angel?" he answers, worried and angry.

"I can't explain right now." I start. "Alec, everyone is safe. Everything is fine. I just need you and Ethan at the airport when we arrive home in two days. Just let me finish this tour." He says nothing. "Alec please, some things are better left explained in person."

"There was a Code Orange Clayton. Ethan told me what you were up to. Did they hurt you?" he asks, causing me to raise my eyebrow.

"No. "I answer truthfully. "I wasn't touched I swear. It was a messenger boy, a slave named Tyriess."

"Tyriess?" Alec whispers in response, indicating that Alec in fact knew exactly who I was talking about.

"Angel, he didn't harm me. I swear. Everything is alright."

"If everything is alright then who the hell was in the urgent care?" he argues. "Did you pull your stitches?"

I let out a loud sigh. "I am in the same condition as I was when I left, better even as I am healing. Angel please, trust me."

"You are seriously asking for my trust right now Clayton?" he snaps.

"Yes, Master I am." I reply. My eyes widen in my slip, he asked me not to go there with him again. "I'm sorry, I meant Grand Master." I correct myself.

The line is so silent I pull the phone away to make sure we are still connected. "One of these days you are going to ask too much of me Clayton." He replies in a pained voice. "We will meet you at the airport. Talk to you then."

I hear the line go dead, and find myself surprised he didn't reprimand me despite my apology and correction. With the little energy I have I find my charger and plug my phone in next to the bed before lying down in it. Admittedly that could have gone better but at least it wasn't worse. It takes me a while to fall asleep but I eventually do.

I am jolted awake by Monica and Lilly jumping on my bed. I hiss in pain when they accidently land on my chest and get an apology from both of them but they are too excited to feel all that bad about it. I encourage them to go on their spree without me but they refuse. They believe shopping is the healing of all problems and therefore I find myself up on crutches drinking decent coffee and talking to strangers while Lilly and Monica help buy Faith another three season wardrobe. I do hand the clerk my credit card at the end but they gave it back, saying the girls have already paid for everything. I glare at them and Lilly gives me a wink with a smile. She is just happy that something awesome is happening in our lives for once. I get that.

Faith came to us with the clothes on her back, she is boarding with almost thirty very strategically packed large pieces of luggage. Truth be told while she looked amazing she also looked overwhelmed and exhausted. Mike had stayed behind in the hotel to work and is pretty much doing the same on the plane.

Not in the mood for it I plug into my MP3 player and listen to some prospects, only to be surprised a few song in with one of my earbuds being removed. "Surprised you're not taking a few business calls." Faith notes.

"Little too occupied with watching over you." I admit, taking off the other earbud and pausing my music.

"I am fine. Admittedly I was dazed when I was left in your care but the girls have helped me find my footing rather quickly. They really are wonderful people. I remember you now. Sorry it took a while, it just felt like a different life."

"You seem to have fallen back into your old self rather quickly. Glad to see you are not timid, like you were the first night."

"I thought I was being sold to you." She admits. "Took me a bit to accept I really was free. How did you do it?"

"Short version? Nearly paid with my life. Your freedom is their apology."

"I've never known them to apologize." She frowns.

"Apparently there is something unique going on." I shrug.

"Must be." She confirms. She falls silent for a minute. "So that man over there has been your husband for all of ten minutes."

"More like a month." I defend.

"Right. And in that month you have buried several friends, get your surprised to be ex-boyfriend off of murder charges for the death of Alec's lover, died twice, and willfully put yourself at the mercy of your enemies." She recaps. I look at her in astonishment. "What? I am a detective at heart. And honestly, Mike needed someone to talk to at the concert last night."

"Glad he had an ear, he was pissed when he left." I turn to her, "I am surprised that you went though."

She smiles, "The girls insisted. It was the least I could do with how kind they are to me. But I'm not used to a lot of people around. Mike picked up on it pretty quick so he took me to his box seats and we hung out." I smile at that. "Great food. Damn it's been a while since my taste buds were happy." She gives me a pointed look, "He doesn't believe you have absorbed being married."

"Admittedly that takes time, but it is sinking in."

She shrugs. "So to make sure I have my facts straight, seeing as the last time I seen you, you an Alec were inseparable, you were the one who ended things with him?"

I run my fingers down the length of my scarred hand. "Alec." I stop and try again. "When we met, I wasn't ready for him. He is someone I could never lose. He eventually pushed and I ran. He forgave me. We stayed close. But it wasn't until rather recently that I was ready but by then he had moved on." I give a deep sigh. "And being honest with myself so had I. When the time came for me to accept love, Alec had become my best friend, not my lover. And I his."

"Mike wonders you know, now that Bobby is gone. If you regret marrying him."

"That is absurd!" I growl in true surprise. Faith lifts her hands up in surrender. "Thanks, now move." I smile. She smiles back and takes her seat with the girls again. Truly annoyed I call out to my husband. "Michael Brandon Walker-Reynolds!" Mike stops typing and slowly turns, lifting his head up to look at me. "Get your ass over here right now!" I demand, fully aware we have an audience. This plane is not all that big but the audience are our friends and they are polite enough to pretend to not be listening. Mike slowly rises from his computer and makes his way to me.

"Sit." I order. He glares but he does so.

I take his hand and squeeze. "Do you remember this plane?" I ask. "This is the plane where we commenced our marriage."

"Do you have a point or are you trying to gross out our friends?" he asks turning pink.

"You didn't hear me." I replied annoyed. "This is where you and I officially became husbands."

"Okay." He replies, still embarrassed but more confused.

"I chose you." I explain. "Not Ryan, not Daniel, not even Alec. All of which at one point in my life I had more than one opportunity to marry. But I didn't. I chose to marry you." He turns to Faith and then back to me. "Yeah she talked to me, because you were shutting me out." I reply dryly. "Your fear is unfounded."

"I wasn't. I told you we went to fast." I let go of his hand, hating that this fight isn't resolved. "I believe my fear is justified." he continues, his vulnerability showing all over his face. "I mean, I know you and Alec have always been close but when you finally got over Ryan, he was never single. Now he is. Kinda." He shakes his head, "The fact that you have yet to prove you trust me with your darkest secrets." He stops. "We rushed this."

"We rushed this because we was certain of our feelings for each other. At least I was." I assure him. "We have time to get to the know every part of each other. We are together, that matters." I kiss his cheek, "I want us to go away for the weekend just us."

"I told you I don't need a trip Clay, I need you."

"You need me without interruption." I correct. "It's the only way to stop this doubt from growing and destroying something beautiful." He looks at me with tears in his eyes, "We are going away Mike. Just me and you. No electronics. I will tell you my darkest secrets, you will tell me yours; including being honest to me about your family."

His eyes narrow at that. I respond by taking his hand back into mind. "Stopping doubt is never easy."

He frowns, choosing silence for a long while. "I know better than to tell you I am jealous of Alec. And reality of it is, I'm not. But I need to hear it from you Clay. Tell me that despite the fact you two consider yourselves each other's soulmates and angles is not going to prevent us from being something amazing. Tell me that you aren't going to wake up one day, realize you had bad timing all these years and chose him."

"Alec and I had that moment in time where we could have run off and gotten married. But I chose not to. I hurt him so badly and it changed what we had into what we have. And you know what we have is complicated at best of times. You know what I have asked of you, have you changed your mind on being okay with it?"

"No." he assures me. "I swear. Clay what you asked of me and what I am scared of are two separate things."

I search for the proper phrasing, to put this to rest once and for all. "My relation with Alec is not comparable to what you and I have. Mike, I didn't marry the wrong man. Our rush to forego engagement and simply go and get hitched was not a whimsical thing for me that I set myself up to regret. But you questioning like this, makes me wonder if you regret it?"

"Clay." He whispers, obviously offended.

"Kiss me you idiot." I smile. He hesitates before he lightly places his lips on mine and then turns away. I wrap my arms around him. "I know you are not ready to forgive me." I whisper in his ear, pulling him into me despite the emotional pain and the physical pain of him laying on my chest, "But I am not going anywhere. I am your husband. We will get through this together. I'm sorry I have scared you so much recently. Mike, you have to know I need you." I kiss his cheek and he relaxes a little, letting me hold him until it is time to land.

The last concert goes off without a hitch. Mike and I sit with Faith in the front row and we simply enjoy ourselves. When it is over, the crowd clears out and we make our way to the back. The girls find themselves in their normal routine with the V.I.P. fans and then I spot him. A man in a sleeveless hoodie staring at me. He looks nearly identical to Bobby Spencer. He realizes I recognize him and puts his fingers to his lips, before walking away. Not taking my eye off of him I squeeze Mike's hand. "Get security. Mike I have to go alone, I won't risk both of us."

"Go where alone?" He asks, not letting me go. "Clay what is going on?"

"I just seen a ghost." I reply. "Mike please, do as I say. I don't want to risk the girl's lives." His eyes widen in comprehension that there is real danger. "I am not shutting you out. I am trusting you with the their lives. Now go."

"On it boss." Mike responds, letting go of my hand. "Clay!" he calls in a whisper, causing me to turn my head. "Promise to come back to me."

"I promise to try." I respond, heading out of the auditorium where my ghost vanished. I know my security decal is following me so I am not all that worried about it. But the moment I clear the auditorium I am snatched by the arm, pulling me into a storage closet. "Get rid of them!"

"That is impossible!" I hiss. I feel a knife on my throat and watch through a crack in the door as my security starts to look for me. I say nothing as they pass by. I grunt when I feel the knife cut into my skin and down my ribs, swallowing hard when it touches the tip of my dick.

"So you are the famous Clayton Reynolds."

"One and only." I struggle causing the knife to press against my balls.

"You are a meddlesome fool."

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ignore his hand dropping under my pants and the cold blade against my most sensitive skin. "What do you want?" I ask, trying to stay calm. He responds by digging the sharp blade slightly into my skin, causing me to hold my breath while I feel blood dripping on my upper thighs.

"I am a very powerful man myself." He gloats, causing me to fight the illness in my stomach. I take a deep breath and jerk my elbow hard; aiming for his throat, but it doesn't affect him much. He drops the knife in my clothes and manages to pin my wrists tightly with one hand. "You really want to piss me off Mr. Reynolds?" He asks, trapping both my wrists in one hand as he reaches back down my clothes. "I really wouldn't suggest it." He picks up the knife. "Doing so has already cost so many of your friends lives. How many more will it take?"

"What have I ever done to you?" I ask, confused. "I don't even know you."

"You caused my brother to switch sides!" he hisses.

"I wasn't aware there were sides! I had no idea he was tangled in this mess!" I struggle.

"Yet you loved him?" he asks, taking the knife and dragging it just above my cock.

I grunt from the pain, feeling more blood spill from me. "Yes, I loved him. But I let him go."

"You broke his heart." He accuses, putting the knife under my cock.

"No, I guided his heart to the man he truly loved." I reply.

"Oh yes, my brother the traitor, falling for the victim. Protecting him!" Xzavier yells, causing me to swallow. "I did try to change his mind, took Owen Young as a punishment." I squeeze my eyes shout at the name, "Worked for a while, such a lovely play toy. I did enjoy putting him in so much pain"

"And when it stopped working?" I challenge.

"I killed Owen." Xzavier answers, sucking my ear into his mouth, then dropping his lips to the crook of my neck. "You smell delicious, and I am assuming this is your husband's mark?" Fear overcomes me, "I wonder what he taste like."

"Leave him out of this! He barely knew Bobby."

"True." He admits. "But my brother has tasted you, and I am curious as to why you are so special that he would betray his own family."

I struggle against his grip, he adjusts and I only stop when I feel the blade cut into my throat. We hear my security coming back this way. "One sound and you are dead!" He warns, pressing the blade deep into my skin.

After the foot falls silence themselves he relaxes a little but keeps me trapped in his grip. "Why did you kill my friends? Why did you save Alec from that fire?"

"Your friends were targets that Bobby couldn't bring himself to kill. So I had to do it myself." Xzavier notes, making my blood turn cold.

"Why were they targets?" I ask, tears streaking out of my eyes.

"They pissed me off." Xzavier answers dismissively, causing my knees to buckle. He yanks me onto my feet. The blade draws blood. "This isn't why I am here!"

"Why then? To kill me?"

"Don't tempt me!" he warns, moving his hands underneath my clothes. "I am already frustrated enough! I was going to deliver the message to Alec myself, but he was too out of it from the fire. Never mind that the moment the The Quattro realized The Dolore were in town, Alec has been impossible to get to. He comments bitterly. "But you, you are all exposed and absolutely delicious." I feel his breath on my skin while he continues to touch me. My stomach turns and I swallow bile. "Tell your precious Alec, I want my wife back."

"You're kidding right?" I ask in disbelief. "The bitch damn near killed Alec and myself. Not to mention, tortured my husband. He can't help you!"

"Oh but he can." Xzavier insists, touching me intimately. I am so terrified my body thankfully isn't responding. "Don't you realize that you are the best friend of the Quattro's most valued slave?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." I lie, earning the knife digging deeper into my throat.

"I am very tempted to kill you Clayton Reynolds." He replies angrily. "But it won't give me what I want. Tell him to give me Pricilla or else. He shoves me into a wall and rips my shirt open. I cry out when I feel the knife cut down my chest. I feel his hand over my mouth. I grab at his arm but it's made of fucking steel. I feel every inch of the carving he makes on my chest. "Hmm, that mark looks lovely. I should keep you."

"Kill me." I growl, refusing the idea of being tortured and enslaved by this guy.

"No, my message is too important." He flips me around and pins me to the wall. "But I am going to taste you, feel you. See for myself what made you so damn special that you brought about my brother's betrayal that in the end forced me to kill him." I struggle hard but he pins my legs and my arms. "Resist me and I swear I will keep your husband, just as I kept Owen for so many tortuous years. Take it like a man and I will leave him alone."

"Give me your word my husband Mike is off limits to you and yours in any fashion and I swear won't resist you." I reply, sacrificing myself for someone I love.

"Get on your knees and suck me off, as I if I were Bobby himself; only then will I give you my word." He growls. I drop to my knees instantly. Turning slowly. The only advantage I have is that he looks like Bobby. But I learn all too quickly, he doesn't taste like him. It takes effort to keep myself from vomiting, especially because I am constantly gagging on this guys dick. Thankfully I am good at what I do and he busts a nut pretty quickly. When I swallow the last drop me pushes me down and puts his foot on my face. "Stick that ass up, spread your cheeks and beg for my cock. Don't stop until I give it to you!"

I do my best not to cry, thankful that he at least uses my blood for lube. I won't describe the next horrific moments of my life. I mentally tried not to be there for them. All I focused on was Mike, and getting back to him, knowing he was safe. When this nightmare bargain comes to an end, he shoves a damn plug in my ass before turning me over. "Either I get my wife back, of Alec gives up his life to save yours. Then again, I might just take yours out of spite." He puts his hand over my mouth and nose, causing me to struggle to breathe but it's no use. My mine's eye flashes to Mike and Alec and then the world goes black.

I wake up in the dark and cold. My body is sore as all hell. It takes me a moment to realize where I am more or less what just happened. I examine my cuts, realizing they are really deep and there is a pool of blood on the floor. Fighting back dizziness. Feeling violated, I reach for the damn butt plug and yank it out of my body, tossing the metal plug across the room with a clinking thug. Struggling to stay conscious, I dress myself then search my pockets, surprised and relieved to find my phone. I had one text message from an unknown number.

 _You have three days._

 _Denial will only bring forth death._

For the first time in a very long time I register what terror really is. Trying to keep my wits about me I call Mike. "Help, please."

"Clay where are you? We've been searching forever!"

"Not far from where I exited, some closet. It's dark, there's blood."

"Clay?"

"It was Xzavier. He damn near killed me. He might have succeeded. Mike, there is so much blood."

"Clay you are scaring me."

"I'm petrified baby." I cry trying to pick myself up off the ground. "He could have killed me. Why am I not dead?" I hear foot falls I turn and cringe when my eyes register bright light.

"Clayton!" Mike yells, running to me. He sees the blood, the tears and brings me into him.

The security team follows him in and takes in the scene. "Try not to touch anything." They warn us.

Mike pulls away for a moment to take in the scene and me. "Clay?" He asks realizing his shirt is covered in my blood.

"I'm fine." I decide, accepting denial. This didn't happen. Bobby's brother did not just . . .

"No, you're not." Mike responds, getting on the balls of his feet, putting my body in between his two strong arms and lifting us up. "Code orange." He tells his one of the guards.

"That is not necessary." I complain.

"I am your husband, I will decide what is necessary." Mike answers, walking me out of the room. He takes me outside and I find myself in a chair next to Brooke who looks really upset.

"It's just a flesh wound." I dismiss.

"Says the man who likes to show off his chest." She scowls looking at the cuts. "Sharp knife. That's a good thing." She tells me. "This is going to take a while but if you don't rush me then I can leave little to no scar."

"I like that idea. But don't put me out okay? I am not ready for another trip on anesthesia."

"Local has the risk of pain." She warns.

"I can take pain sweetie." I assure her.

I am rushed from the venue where our last successful concert was to the nearest urgent care. Mike doesn't let go of me the entire time. When we get there I am laid out on a table but Mike refuses to let go of my hand while Brooke retrieves the medicine and supplies that are needed.

"I'm going to need a full work up." I tell her when she gets back. "He . . ." I can't bring myself to complete the sentence.

I feel Mike squeeze my hand so hard I grunt. "I'm going to fucking kill him with my bare hands!" Mike seethes.

"He let me go." I whispers, trying to cover myself with my shredded clothes. "He let me live." I swallow hard. "I woke to a horrible text message."

"Text message?"

"I'll show you later."

"Are you sure you don't want to be knocked out?" Brooke asks, sitting down next to me. My eyes weld with tears, shaking my head no. "Okay." She gives me an IV. "I wish they had more powerful drugs here but I will work with what I have. You are going to feel fuzzy. You probably won't like it, but you won't like the feel of needle and thread more. I need you still Clayton, otherwise you will scar."

"Do you know who did this? Why?" Mike asks, fighting to stay calm despite his rage.

"It was Xzavier." I admit, allowing the tears to fall. "He said he killed everyone. Including, Owen and Bobby." I cry out in pain from Brooke's fast working hands.

"Sorry," she apologizes, "but it is not going to get better than this."

"It's okay, I'm here. I'm right here, not going anywhere I swear." Mike tells me, holding my hand while Brooke does her work.

"I need music." I insist. "Please something angry."

Mike grabs his phone, goes through his library and finds something fitting. Brooke takes over two and a half hours to sew up my all my cuts. When she finishes she does her best to be quick during a very uncomfortable time. She runs some test on the swabs and looks at me, shaking her head. "HIV is negative," She whispers. "The rest I am going to have to send labs for. I'm sorry Clayton but these tests will need to be re-ran for some time. But today, you appear physically healthy." The moment I hear the words I break down crying.

While Brooke gives me necessary inoculations, just in case Mike manages to get me a new set of clothes. We leave the urgent care and I look at them. "This didn't happen." They both frown. I glare at them. "I will take it easy I swear, but the girls, they don't need to know."

"It's okay baby. We will keep them safe." Mike assures me, taking me into his arms. The drive is short and I find myself at the airport instead of our hotel. The crew had packed up and left on tour buses. Only Monica, Lilly, and Faith were on the plane waiting for us.

I give them all a weary smile, "It's time to go home." Using my crutches, I walk past all of them finding a corner in the back of the plane. Mike sits down with me, taking me into his arms. Lilly follows us.

"There are a lot of questions we are not going to get answers to aren't there." Lilly accuses accurately. "Are you in trouble Clayton?"

I give a half smile. "No."

"Liar."

"Don't okay." I shake my head. "Please, just let me protect you."

"Why do I have a feeling I am going to be touring Europe?" She mutters.

"Europe, Australia, Asia if you want." I shrug, "if I feel it is necessary."

"Is it?"

"I don't know yet." I answer honestly. "Most likely."

"What can we do to help?"

"Nothing, just be safe on the other side of the world and don't complain about it."

"Fine but only to cities with good shopping." She smiles.

"Thank you." I smile, giving her a gentle hug.

She goes back to Monica and fills her in. "Dublin!" Monica calls with a worried smile. I give a half smile and nod, pulling Mike into me.

The flight takes a little under two hours. When we land I insist on being the first one off the plane. I am greeted by a very upset Alec. He runs up to me, hugs me, then proceeds to tell me off. I stand there on my crutches, waiting for the rest of the passengers to disembark. Alec is in a full-fledged rant when Faith approaches us. But Alec is too busy telling me off to notice her.

"What the fuck is so fucking important that it had to fucking be told to me in fucking person!" He eventually asks, taking a much needed breath. I stare at him then nod my head toward Faith.

"Alec?" Faith questions, causing Alec to turn to her in anger.

His face changes from furry to disbelief in an instant. "Faith?"

"Yeah it's me, but I don't recall you ever cursing so much in your life." she smiles embracing him.

I turn my head to Ethan and mock the words 'thank you' while I lean a little on Mike, watching the tearful reunion. Alec keeps pulling Faith back and then hugging her again. After about the tenth time of this Faith steps back to dry her tears.

Alec turns to me, "You did this? How?"

"I love you." I reply with a smile, kissing Mike on the cheek.

"Thank you for this Angel." He turns back and starts to freight over our lost friend some more. After a while the Monica and Lilly bid us goodnight and head home and the rest of us end up at Alec's for the night.

Faith proves to be rather uneasy about Ethan's presence and he offers to leave because of it. But I find myself sticking up for Ethan and informing her that he is the reason she is free today. This is beyond a shocking to her and Mike but it blows over easy enough. Ethan finds himself sleeping in the basement while the rest of us are upstairs but at least the man wasn't kicked out of the house.

Mike and I found ourselves on Alec's living room floor. Having given up the spare bed to Faith and Brooke. Alec insisted on sleeping alone, which bothered me but I had a feeling he was going to sneak downstairs so I let it go. When the lights go out, Mike grabs my hand. "Are you okay?"

"Kinda."

"Are you ready to tell me about that text?"

"In the morning ,I swear." I promise, kissing his hand. "Still processing." I admit not wanting to talk about this. I feel him let go of my hand and then I feel his hands unbutton my shirt. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you process." He whispers.

"Mike." I protest, when he kisses my ribs. "You haven't forgiven me."

"No, I haven't." he confirms, raising up to my shoulder and biting down hard.

"Fuck." I bitch, truly aroused. Pushing him off of me. "I don't fight like this, there isn't a pause button."

"Shut up Clay." He demands, kissing me hard. I find myself pushing him away again. Frustrated he reaches up and turns on one of the lamps in the room then he comes back, lightly touching my chest. I stare at him. "There is a pause, baby." He whispers, gently scratching his nails down the good part of my arm. He leans down to kiss my chest and I hold my breath. He raises his head and meets my eyes. "Look at me Clay." I swallow hard and look at him. "It's me, your husband." He kisses my lips tenderly. "Just me." His hands are careful and gentle yet exploring. He continues to be cautious with me, letting me lead as he progresses. With the meds and my head though my body simply isn't going to respond in the way it should. "It's okay." He whispers, reaching in his wallet for a packet of lube. "Mike please don't, we don't know if it is safe." I argue.

"Already thought of that." He whispers holding up a string of condoms, "swiped these from the urgent care." He puts his chin on my chest. "Please don't deny me the gift of helping you washing away this memory." My breath is shaking but I nod my head in consent. He prepares himself, keeping his eyes locked on mine for any sign of resistance. When he doesn't get any he begins, kissing and biting until he is sure I am wanting him. When he slides into me, I hiss and clinch while dragging my nails down his back. "Open your eyes Clay." He whispers, waiting for me. When I do, he smiles. "Stay with me, right here." He encourages as he starts to move inside. He is insistent on keeping eye contact while he touches me intimately. This wasn't a race for orgasms, this was him, helping me move on from what had happened.

When we do reach the point of release we both let go with quite grunts. Then he kisses me softly, and then studies me, making sure I am still with him. "Thank you." I whisper. Touching his cheek with the back of my hand.

He rolls onto the floor and pulls me ever so gently on top of him. Holding me while we find sleep. I was hopeful that it would help with the dreams, but it didn't. It was however, comforting to find him there, with the light still on, sitting up and rubbing my back. I kiss him, get up, shower and then come back and lay next to him, grateful is there, helping me adjust to the hell. "Rest baby, just lay here with me." He whispers in the light. I say nothing as I lay my head on his shoulder, eyes wide open in the light. My mind races to the reality that I have to tell Mike that I am protecting him. Our only fight made that abundantly clear. But how? Not to mention I have to figure out how I was going to tell Alec any of this, much less ask him about his past. Something the man has been cryptic with for years. In the end though, assuming Xzavier is a man of his word, I saved my husband tonight. Now, I just have to figure out how to save my soul mate.


	38. The Dolore

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **The Dolore**

 **Alec's Point of View**

Disbelief. From the moment my eyes laid on Faith I have been in denial. Like I am in a dream I am bound to wake up from. I understood immediately why Clayton wouldn't tell me this in person. I am just unsure as to any of the details but that will come in time.

Not wanting to wake up from this dream I insisted that Faith come back to my place. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Things did get a little awkward when she realized who Ethan was. Faith shut down on herself but Brooke said she would stay with her. Ethan offered to go but Clayton refused to let him leave. Ethan understood Faith's reservations and offered to stay in the basement. I wanted to refuse but the look he gave me told me not to argue. After I was sure Faith went to sleep I snuck downstairs to be with him and only went back up when I could heard movement.

Clayton and Mike ended up in my living room. I can tell Clayton is hiding something from me but I am not sure what it is. I do know it is big, Mike is being way too intimate considering how pissed he was when he left to meet Clayton. It doesn't matter right now though, I will get Clayton alone soon.

Getting up for the morning I take a quick shower, shave and brush my teeth. I throw on some clothes without much thought to them and walk into the living room to find Mike and Clayton laying on the floor. "Good morning." I smile at them.

The both look up at me. "Good morning."

"You are hiding something from me Clayton." I accuse sitting down on my couch.

Clayton sits up and looks around. "How about we meet you downstairs?"

I study him, the man is in pain. Real pain. "Are you sure you don't want to go for a walk? Just me and you?" I offer.

"Give us five minutes okay." He smiles, turning his eyes away from me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He answers not looking at me. I exchange a worried look with Mike before I stand up, head to the kitchen to grab two cups of coffee before I making my way to the basement. "Good morning, Sir." I greet Ethan, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach while I pass him his coffee. Ethan opens his eyes but he says nothing. "I'm sorry for the uncomfortable couch. I do appreciate, you offering to stay. I know it would have been less awkward to just go home."

"And leave you alone with a damn near stranger in your house, are you mad?"

"She is not a not stranger, she is my friend."

Ethan sits up, glaring. "She was your friend. Where was she? Who had her?"

"I don't know. All I know is she is free." I take a sip of my hot coffee. "I don't care anymore. I only care that she is home safe."

"She's been gone a long time Alec. She could be a spy." Ethan worries.

"She's not." Clayton responds from across the room. I give him a frown; that was not five minutes. I meet his eyes questioning what the hell is going on. "It's Que's way of offering a truce."

"A truce?" I ask, damn near spilling my coffee. "You're joking."

"Says we are even, for the whole attempted murder thing."

I chew on that for a long while, unsure what to say. Ethan puts his hand on my knee, silently telling me it is the closest to an apology I am ever going to get and to simply leave it alone. I know he is right but I also know Clayton. There was a code Orange for fucksake. If it wasn't his run in with Tyriess of all people then what the fuck was it?

"What aren't you telling me?" I demand to the room.

"The code orange you heard about was for Faith, she wasn't in the best shape, as I am sure you noticed." Clayton frown.

"Okay that makes sense." I shrug taking a drink of my coffee. But the look on his face tells me there is more. "And I am missing something important." I note, setting my coffee back down.

Mike takes Clayton's hand. Clayton is visibly struggling to find words. He looks to Mike for help. "Clay was attacked, but not by the Quattro." Mike frowns.

"Attacked?" I repeat, hating my gut for being right. Clayton and Mike exchange a look. "By who!" I yell impatiently.

"The Dolore." Clayton answers.

Ethan sits up to his full height on the couch. Him and Clayton lock eyes for so long the entire room gets uncomfortable.

"You are sure?" Ethan asks, cautiously.

"Yes." Clayton responds. Ethan's body is so ridged I know something is terribly wrong. "They confirmed there attack on Darkest Desires and have taken credit for kidnapping Owen."

"Then he is dead." Ethan answers with such conviction it scares me.

"Yes." Clayton answers, tears slipping down his cheek.

"Angel?"

"I'm so sorry." Clayton cries, not looking at me. "It is time you tell us about the Dolore, Ethan."

"Don't look at me as if I have betrayed you. I've been trying to protect you!" Ethan answers hotly.

"Bang up job you are doing." Clayton responds lifting up his shirt revealing a massive amount of stitches that align to a similar symbol I seen before Darkest Desires went up in flames." The sight of it shocks me so much my vision gets spotty from an instant migraine.

"The minions can be ruthless." Ethan seethes. "You've been marked with a warning."

"It wasn't his minions."

"He let you live? Why?" Ethan questions.

"He told me that he was planning on telling the most protected slave of The Quattro himself but he was too out of it from the fire." Clayton replies. "Which goes in line with bitter Tyriess telling me Alec has always had special treatment and is very valuable to your family because of something in his past."

"What?" I ask surprised.

"The only thing I can think of is Glory." Clayton answers me, "unless you are hiding something?"

"You know everything about my past." I frown. "Too much." I turn to Ethan who drops his head in his hands, "What is he talking about?"

"The less you know the better." Ethan replies dryly.

"Not going to cut it anymore!" Clayton seethes. "Tell me why this fucker believes that Alec can get his wife back."

"You forget, I am not one of the four!" Ethan snaps. "I am not purvey to every damn piece of information there is. I just know what I need to."

"Glory?" I ask.

"I swear to you Alec the only thing I know about Glory is what you have told me." Ethan answers. "I've never told them that you even spoke about her. It might not be her. You might have witnessed something in juvenile detention that you aren't even aware of. All I know is Que wants you protected. He always has."

"Got a funny way of showing it." I reply dryly, trying to fight this migraine.

"You are treated better than Tyriess, a very coveted slave. If Clayton picked up on his bitterness, image how other Quattro slaves feel about you. Imagine their lives."

"I'd rather not." I snap, hating the idea of knowing I was being treated easy. My past was not easy but any definition of the word. But it explains so much, why Que has always listened to me, why I am not dead. He wants something only I can give him. What the fuck is it?

"Even if we wanted to, we can't give him Pricilla, we don't know where the hell she is!" Ethan replies frustrated.

"Que does."

"No, he doesn't. I may have gotten lucky with the cure for Alec because Que knows his damn sister but trust me he doesn't have her!"

"Trust you, after you kept something so vital from us?"

"I am trying to keep you alive!" Ethan defends to the room.

"He threatened Alec's life if he doesn't get what he wants." Clayton frowns.

"That is an empty threat. If he could get to Alec, he would have done it already."

"He pulled him out of a fire!" Clayton argues.

"And he kept him alive." Ethan retorts, ignoring the fact I am even in the room. "He wants something more than my cousin and he needs Alec alive to get it."

"Which would be what exactly?" I ask.

"The only person who can answer that is Que." Ethan frowns. "And I doubt he will. He's going to be furious that you are even aware that you're protected."

"While this is fascinating I really would like to be cued in on the massive detail I am missing!" I snap, feeling my right eye pulse. "Why are the Dolore's your enemies to start with? And does this have to do with Pricilla?"

Ethan turns to me, his eyes pleading forgiveness. "The Dolore have been around for a very long time. They are structured in a pyramid type way. When I was younger and Matt and I." He stops, trying to keep his calm. "Matt was very good friends with Pricilla. When he found out she was dating a Dolore member who had quickly become the leader's favorite and damn near son, he tried to warn her. Pricilla of course didn't listen. She got herself in a mess." Ethan shakes his head, "I'm sorry I lied to you Alec, Matt wasn't killed in a car accident. He died trying to save Pricilla from Xzavier." Ethan takes a few calming breaths. "It was years ago, I wasn't aware that Xzavier had come to power until after Bobby died, and I sure the hell wasn't aware that Bobby was his brother. Believe me you would have never been allowed near Bobby had I known."

"Brother?" I reply in shock. The air leaves the room, my heart stops in my chest. "Angel?"

Clayton nods in conformation while Ethan pulls me into him, "Breathe Pet."

"There is more." Clayton closes his eyes, opens them and looks at me. "Xzavier killed Bobby."

I find my mouth full of vomit and bolt for the back door, Ethan is directly on my heels. I lose last night's dinner on my back lawn. "This can't be happening! I can't hate his murderer! I need to hate him!" I scream, getting sick again. My migraine is so intense my vision blacks out.

"Alec you need to calm down." Ethan worries. I hear him yell at someone to get Brooke.

"I can't see Ethan. My head." I complain, trying to breathe.

Ethan pulls me into him and rubs my back, begging me to calm down, while trying to get me to take slow deep breaths. "He's having a panic attack, it set off his migraines." I hear Ethan explain, then feel small hands on my back.

"Alec, it's Brooke, can you look at me?" I turn to her, and I can feel her messing with my eyes. "Alec I need you to concentrate on something happy." I stare at her with an expression that she lost mind, how the hell was I going to think of something happy? "That's it, slow your breathing, listen to the sound of my voice. She talks to me for a few more minutes and slowly my vision comes back.

Finding my inner strength, I turn to Clayton. "Any more surprises?"

"No Angel, just details." He answers keeping his distance. The look on his face makes him appear twenty years older than he is.

I turn to Brooke. "Do you have anything for this migraine?"

"I do. I am also going to call in a few favors, see if there is any way I can get a solution for them all together."

"I won't hold my breath." I frown. "I have the worst of luck." Brooke gives me a sad smile and runs upstairs for her medical kit. Ethan picks me up and takes me back inside, keeping me on his lap. After Brooke gives me some pills, she demands I rest and have a light day, then goes back upstairs to help Faith with their breakfast.

When the coast is clear, Ethan turns to Clayton. "You need to start at the beginning and don't leave a single detail out."

Concentrating on Clayton's voice was extremely difficult. He was patient with me when I asked a million questions afterward. When everything eventually sunk in I was numb. Clayton stayed home from work to stay with me while Ethan and Mike ran our two businesses. I didn't know what to say. Clayton didn't seem that much in a talking mood anyway. Faith joined us after everyone left for work. We mainly laid in my bed and rested. Which admittedly we all needed anyway. I couldn't sleep though, I was too terrified of what I would find. Glory was right, having answers definitely does not mean you find peace.

About midafternoon I find Faith is asleep and Clayton is wide awake. I motion for him to follow me into the living room. The moment we get there I bring him into my arms and just hold him. After a very long time I pull away. "I know this isn't fair but are you sure the guy who attacked you was Xzavier Spencer?" I ask timidly.

"Him and Bobby could be twins." Clayton frowns. "I know what you are thinking. I really don't know if he could be reached Alec."

"I have to try." I reply, my eyes watering. "I can't have all these damn degrees about the human mind and not using them to try to save someone I consider a brother."

"I fear, hope like that is why Bobby died." Clayton admits to me.

I don't reply to that. I am still sorting my feelings out about it. "I'm responsible for Bobby's death. I am the one who made him an Angel to start with. He was starting a war with his own damn brother and didn't tell us!"

"We all share our part." Clayton replies. "But in the end it was Bobby's choice to join us. It was also his choice to meet with his brother without telling us."

"He had no research on The Dolore's or any other enemy of the Quattro." I frown. "Why did that never occur to me? That my enemies had enemies? That Owen was taken by one of them."

"It never occurred to me either." Clayton frowns. "Bobby knew, Xzavier was using him as bait to keep him in line. But it stopped working and Xzavier killed Owen for not obeying orders. Or possibly failing. He said he killed Owen ages ago. I don't know maybe it was for failing to return Pricilla to him?" I shake my head. "Xzavier also stated that Chloe, Levi, Kyle and Rachel were targets that Bobby refused to kill. Xzavier isn't someone you cross Alec, I think his refusal is why he is dead." Clayton takes my hand. "He blames us, you and me. For making a Bobby a traitor, because he loves us."

"So we're targets of his anger?" I ask. "And if he can't touch me for some fucked up reason, he would go after you." Clayton drops his eyes. "If he is as ruthless as you are implying, you shouldn't be alive."

"I'm sorry Alec but it's much darker than that." Clayton frowns. "He …" he stops, trying to find words, staring at his shaking hands. "He forced me."

"What?"

"I resisted at first but he threatened Mike. I cut a deal, if I cooperated then Mike would be untouchable." Tears slip down his cheek. I pull Clayton into me at lost for words. I know the pain and torture he is going through right now, I have lived it myself. I prayed no one I knew would ever have to go through this, especially someone I love this much. "He wants you to suffer with this knowledge. I'm sorry."

"Shh, don't apologize." I reply, my heart truly hardening against the man. Clayton was right, there is no saving him. And this prick is no brother of mine.

After some time Clayton finds some composure. "I still have to tell Mike that I cut a deal."

"You do?"

"You missed an epic fight." I frown. "I do."

"That is not going to be easy." I frown.

"I'm taking him away this weekend. Him and I need some alone time, unplugged, locked away."

"I can arrange that for you." I smile.

"Please do." Clayton smiles, drying his face with the collar of his shirt. "I still want to know why Ethan never told you about The Dolore's."

"Ethan's responsibility is to protect me Clayton. Just because he didn't tell me doesn't mean he didn't try to find Owen through his enemies."

"You defend him a lot." Clayton points out.

I take a deep breath. "Ethan and I have something that I am sick of hiding." I admit. "Bobby found out about all of this before he died and asked Ethan to move in with us." Clayton raises and eyebrow at me. "Ethan's a package deal Clayton; he goes, I go."

"I'll only accept that if he frees you." Clayton warns coldly.

"Clayton, please."

I watch him chew his lower lip for a very long time. "I've been tolerate of his friendship role with you Alec because it appears you want him here."

"I do Angel, but he is more than a friend." I respond, causing Clayton to close his eyes momentarily before he opens them. "I'm sorry this hurts you Angel, but I love him. I have loved him for so damn long."

Clayton turns away for a long moment before he finds his voice again. "Is he a want or some fucked up requirement?"

"Neither, he's a need. Next to you."

"But you are saying this on your own accord?"

"Yes."

"Promise that on our friendship Alec."

"I promise."

"I have my limits Alec." Clayton warns. "I don't trust his family and I don't completely trust him. You are asking me to support a relationship and that requires me to bend. I can and will do that for you, because you are asking. But don't push too hard. Don't ever try to marry him or some shit, otherwise you and I … we will break."

"Thank you." I smile. We fall silent for a while. I keep him safe in my arms, wishing I would have never let him leave on that damn tour.

"Are we accepting this truce with The Quattro?" he asks.

"Seems like the safest option." I frown. "I don't like it, not after everything Pricilla has done, for her to just walk scot free, it sickens me." I find myself fighting a sudden stabbing pain behind my left eye. Trying to ignore it I get up and head to the kitchen. I start pulling out food from the fridge and pull out almost everything in it. Clayton says nothing else, instead he washes his hands and starts to help. I smile at that, always keeping half my eye on him when he helps me. He has come a long way with my cooking lessons since the day he almost burned down my kitchen. Still, the man almost burned down my kitchen.

When Ethan and Mike get home they find a four course meal ready for them. Ethan gives me a concerned look but doesn't cause a scene about it. I turn on some light music, pour some nice wine and we all enjoy a meal, forgetting about the outside world for a while. Mike, Clayton and Faith insist on doing the dishes, leaving Ethan and I alone in my dining room.

He looks at his watch and frowns. "Need to be somewhere?" I question.

"Home." He admits, "I have an early meeting tomorrow and another night sneaking around is not in me." He looks at me worriedly. "Unless you need me to stay?"

"I wouldn't go as far as need, but I want you to." I reply taking his hand. "I want you in my life Ethan."

"You know I am already there." He assures me. "I know you got some tough news, but Clayton seems to be who you need right now. He knew Bobby way better than I did."

"And you? The ghosts of Matt coming at you like that? Wouldn't be the reason why you want to be alone?" He gives me a look that tells me I am right. "I don't want you to be alone with those ghosts."

"I don't think I am Clayton's favorite person right now Pet." He frowns. "Hell, I don't even think I am yours."

I give him a slight nod. "I won't deny I am not happy with all the lies, especially when it comes to Xzavier and Daniel. Honestly I am pissed but going off on you is pointless. You decide what I can and cannot know. I hate it, right now I fucking despise it, but I have no say. I paid this price for Clayton's freedom. I won't regret it or fight against it."

"Daniel was never a threat to Clayton. I swear." Ethan responds, his eyes begging for trust.

"I trust you Ethan." I reassure him, taking his hand. "As far as Clayton, give him time, he is willing to bend, to a point. Just stay."

"Not tonight Pet." Ethan responds, squeezing my hand.

"Damn it Ethan, I want you out of the shadows of my life." I bitch. "I need your friendship more than anything right now and you need mine. We can't have that and keep you hidden."

"Friendship, of course." He smiles, folding his napkin.

"No, Ethan." I correct shaking my head, placing my hands in his. "We are more than that, so much more." I squeeze his hand. "But in this moment, we need our friendship most." I whisper, meeting his eyes. "I need to heal Ethan, we all need to adjust to you in the sun. In time things will change. But right now, I just want to make it through the next five minutes without falling apart."

He studies me for a moment before he gives me a soft smile. "I understand." Ethan whispers, touching my cheek. "I have waited this long my pet, I can wait longer."

"Stay. Please." I beg.

"And Faith?"

"I invited Detective Cole here tonight but he texted me and told me he was running late. I am sure the moment they are reunited, you and I will be all but forgotten." I explain. "Please Ethan, stay."

"You are nearly impossible to deny." He bitches, grabbing the back of my neck and bringing my lips mere inches from his. Our eyes meet. "I will only stay if you can tell me what I need to hear."

"I love you." I whisper, brushing my lips to his so lightly I am unsure if he felt it. I pull away with pleading eyes.

"What is it Alec?" He asks, pulling me on top of the table.

"Do you trust me?" I ask, wrapping my legs around him.

"Of course Pet." He answers, rubbing his fingers lightly up and down my back.

"Will you tell me more about The Dolore?" I ask, watching his eyes harden. "Does your family have any other enemies?"

"Those are dangerous questions." He warns, in a stern voice.

I run my thumb over the worried lines of his left eye. "Why haven't you told me that you have been protecting me from so much more than your family?"

"Because it wasn't just me protecting you, Pet. You are protected by my family, no matter how much civil distaste there is sometimes. We protect what is ours."

"Did you know about Owen?"

"No." Ethan answers. "I swear to you if I had any hint he was taken by them I would have done something. I'm sorry Alec." His whispers, his eyes pained as he watches tears spill from mine.

Before I can say another word we see Mike walk into the room. "Alec." Mike states in such a tone goosebumps travel up my spine. His face is chalk white.

"Mike?" I ask, climbing off the table. "What is it?"

"You need to come." He responds, leaving the room before I can question him.

I turn to Ethan and dash out of the room, Ethan on my heels. "CLAYTON!" I call out seeing him on his keens staring at the television. I rush to him, quickly realizing everyone, Faith, Brooke and Mike are also staring at my television, all white as a ghost. "Clayton?" I question in a whisper turning to the television, trying to decipher what was going on. Ben's house was on the news with Ben's, Amber's and Daniel's photos. My eyes read the headline and my heart skips a beat, ' _Cause of Death Has Been Determined to be Carbon Monoxide_ _Poisoning.'_

I feel my knees give out, landing abruptly the floor next to Clayton. I re-read the screen several times trying to process this nightmare. Ethan sits down next to me, trying to process himself. "What are the odds this wasn't an accident?"

"Zero." Ethan responds. "We need help, or we are all going to die."


	39. Death, Death and More Death

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Death, Death and More Death**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

I look up from the television, tears streaking down my face. My head turns to Alec and then Mike. "The text. I was warned … Mike ….Daniel's dead. Amber and Ben are dead." I feel a sharp pain in my chest and fold over.

"Clay?"

"Damn it he is having a heart attack." Brook yells, spreading me out on the living room floor. "Call 9-1-1!" she screams as she presses her head on my chest.

"Clay!" Mike screams.

"Shut up if you want me to save him!" Brooke yells.

I see the faces of my friends looking down at me with worry and then I find myself floating outside my body once more. I watch as Brooke tries to heal me. I follow my body into an ambulance and then into a hospital. There I follow myself to an operating table. Brooke reappears in scrubs and I find myself watching her work to repair my heart

 _"_ _Clayton." An all too familiar voice whispers. Causing me to turn away from watching Brooke work._

 _I give a sad smile. "It wasn't supposed to end like this. There was supposed to be time. We were going to be adults and salvage a friendship. Daniel, I hurt you so badly and now . . ."_

 _"_ _It was my time Clayton." He whispers taking my hand._

 _"_ _I am so sorry." I whisper, hurting more than any physical pain could cause._

 _"_ _I love you." He whispers, touching my cheek. I squeeze his hand. Watching Brooke hold my heart in her hands. I feel Daniel take my other hand, "You could come you know, be with me."_

 _For a moment I consider what that would be like, but I remember the last time I was in a similar situation. "Ma'ma told me it wasn't my time." I frown, causing hurt to filter through his facial expressions._

 _"_ _That was before." He meets my eyes, "Now we could have our ever after Clayton."_

 _I lean my face into him not fully resisting the temptation but Brooke's voice crashes through my thoughts,_ "We're losing him!" _I jerk my attention back to her working on my body,_ "Stay with me Clayton. Remember those who need you. Mike and Alec are waiting, stay with me." She encourages.

 _"_ _Looks like you might not be ready after all." Daniel sighs, dropping my hands. "It is not an easy choice Clayton. You can't come with me then change your mind." My vitals raise back up but I grab Daniel's hand when he tries to leave. "We can't stay like this forever."_

 _"_ _I know." I whisper, turning to him. "But we have right now and I am not ready to say goodbye to you."_

 _"_ _You don't have to." He whispers softly._

 _I shut him up by touching my lips to his. My mind flashes through all the memories of us. Before all the crazy, when life was simple. There is no denying, him and I were so happy. Flashes of sessions, stolen kisses, and dates come to my memory and I smile on his lips. If only there wasn't outside interference from crazy strangers, him and I, we would have made it. There would have been no need to lie, no reason for break ups, no drama of almost being killed by a crazy ex. We would have had a normal relationship, and we would have made it._

 _"_ _That is what we will have Clayton." He assures me, reading my thoughts. "In our ever after. You just have to want it."_

 _I open my eyes and turn to my body. I am no longer in an operating room. I am in a hospital room, covered in tubes. Mike is there. The man I vowed to love. "'Til death do you part." Daniel whispers in my ear. Alec is also there, my soulmate. "He will be fine. They both will." Daniel promises, turning my attention back to him and kissing me._

 _I can't deny it feels amazing. I can't deny part of me wants this. Just to let go and be happy. Stop with the crazy drama that my life seems doomed with. But the other part of me doesn't want to let go. Mike and I just started. He has seen all my crazy and he has never left my side. Alec, he has lost so much. Would he honestly be okay with losing me too?_

 _Daniel breaks the kiss. "I need to go now. You have a choice to make."_

 _"_ _Does death hurt?"_

 _"_ _You already felt all the pain Clayton. If you let go now, you will experience no more physical pain. Emotional is another story. Depending how much you chose to watch over those you knew or move on with those you once lost."_

 _"_ _How long before I chose death as a default?"_

 _"_ _A few hours." He answers honestly. "Going back will be harder than last time, it will be the hardest fight of your life. If you wait too much longer, you might not be successful."_

 _"_ _In other words, my time is up. I have to choose now."_

 _"_ _Yes."_

 _"_ _Daniel." I whisper, making up my mind._

 _"_ _Yes, Clayton."_

 _"_ _I love you."_


	40. Willfully, I Swear I Am Yours

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Willfully, I Swear . . . I Am Yours**

 **Alec's Point of View**

Senseless. All of this is just so senseless. I have had nearly a week to come to terms with the fact that I would be standing here, placing a rose on a beautiful coffin as my final farewell and I still I can't seem to grasp the reality that this is even happening. While I watch the casket be carried into its final resting place my mind flashes through memories of the past week, trying to accept what is happening now.

I was close to vomiting when I realized that Daniel, Ben and Amber were dead. I damn near passed out when Clayton collapsed to the floor in pain. Only one other time in my life have I ever felt so helpless and that is when Glory died. I called for an ambulance, watching a heart doctor trying to keep him alive. I rode in an ambulance and watched as they injected medicine after medicine into his IV's trying to steady his heart. The sound of his screaming from the unbearable pain, both physically and emotionally cut through my soul like shards of glass. They couldn't get there fast enough. Mike and I held each other up as we watched Brooke manually pumping Clayton's chest, while she rode his gurney into the operating room. She didn't have time to give us assurances as she ordered the staff around but she caught our eyes, letting us know that she is going to do everything she can. We stood there paralyzed.

When Brooke came out she looked grim. She told us that Clayton was in the I.C.U. and the next few hours were critical. She had warned us that he may need another surgery and that he might not wake up from this one. She even asked Mike if Clayton and him ever spoke of organ donation. Mike screamed at her to get out and he wasn't giving up. I felt the same and I was in a furious calm only Ethan could bring me down from after I let him hold me. Clayton did open his eyes but he was so weak he almost immediately slipped into a coma. The good news was he didn't need machines to keep him alive. He was breathing on his own. Brooke refused to let Mike and I push her away and she checked on Clayton regularly, telling us how strong of a fighter he is because very few people are that close to death and fight to come back from it. I hate that he is in a coma. She assures us his body is getting the much needed rest he has been refusing it. She is not sugarcoating it though. She has warned us he may still lose the fight. He has chosen life mentally, it is up to his body to accept that physically.

Days pass. The investigation was kept into the need to know, thanks to both Daniel's and Ben's families. But I was able to discover through Dale that this was no accident. Both Daniel's and Amber's fireplaces omitted the odorless gas that caused all three of my friends to slowly suffocate in their sleep. Protocol dictated that everyone get interviewed for the time of frame of their deaths but each and every one of us had a solid alibi. Isaac however did not. He is currently their number one suspect and has not been seen since the discovery of their bodies.

Mike had gotten into Clayton's phone and showed me the text that Xzavier had sent him after Clayton and he struggled. The text was clear, the Dolore's put the hit out on two of my Angels. And if Isaac is the murderer than he too is a part of that group. If not, than the only other person I can think of who could be in town is Xzavier Spencer. I have not been able to grasp either scenario well, remembering Glory's warning that answers won't always bring me peace. She was right about that. I am now fully aware that I am and have been a target for a very dangerous organization. One that even The Quattro hates. Not to mention I finally know why Bobby trusted his source. His source was his own brother, Xzavier Spencer. Who the hell would have thought that the person he could trust the least with his life would be his own brother?

Today concludes a very long week of final farewells to people I truly care for. Everything seems shattered and in pieces. Six months ago I never heard of this cemetery, today I realized I know it's layout by heart, because people I have loved are now buried here. The pain is so overwhelming I can barely breathe. I watch for a moment as the burial vault gets sealed and I find myself stepping away. I make my way behind a tree and just allow it to hold me up.

"Are you alright?" Ethan asks, rubbing my back.

"Yeah, just. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for Alec, this hasn't been easy." Ethan assures me. I give a humorless laugh that turns into a cry. He pulls me to him and holds me close. I don't know how long we stand there. But it is a while. Soon I hear engines start and family and friends start leaving. I pull away and dry my face. "You ready?" he asks. I nod and used his strength to walk back.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, leaning over a man I barely recognize anymore. He squeezes my hand and I move to sit next to him. Neither of us speak as we watch the final seals become welded. The cemetery staff eventually leave and so do the lingering family members, leaving nothing but silence in their wake. Off in the distance you can hear a bird sing, but the six living people in the cemetery have not spoken a single word. It feels appropriate. We sit until the sun goes down and only then does Clayton move his wheelchair.

He really shouldn't be here but he refused not to be. He has attended both funerals I have this week, with Brooke at his side, making sure he doesn't even attempt to overdue it. He is humoring Mike and her by sleeping in the hospital every night. I really don't care where he sleeps as long as he rests. At first I had stayed at the hospital with him but that ended quickly because of his constant complaining.

Faith had stayed with Clayton's dad on the first night I was at the hospital and asked me how I felt about her moving in with them for a while. I was surprised but she explained her brother is rarely home with the active cases he has and Clayton's dad seems to think he is twenty instead of mid-seventy. She sees a need and wants to help. I need to take her to lunch soon, just her and I. We need to find normal somehow in all this mess. Plus, I want to be sure she talks to either myself professionally. But that is a problem for another day.

Then of course there is Clayton. I know on some level he blames himself for their deaths but this wasn't his fault and Mike is helping him through that. I know on some level I should help him too but not today. Today, I need to be a little selfish. Besides, Ben and Amber's funeral wasn't the hardest one for Clayton, Daniel's was. Truth be told it took some convincing on my part for his parents to be okay with Clayton attending. It helped that we knew their son was innocent of Bobby's murder and publically stood up for that. Tasha stepped in on Clayton's behalf and let him morn the way he needed to. That night Mike and I refused to leave Clayton's side no matter how much he tried to push us away.

I shake my head from my thoughts as I watch as Brooke, Clayton and Mike get in a car. Clayton had tried to stay longer but Brooke refused. Mike backed her up and Clayton shot me an apologetic look. I try to give him a weary smile in response. Their departure leaves Faith, Ethan and myself behind. "I'm gonna stay a while longer." I tell Faith. "It's okay to go."

"Are you sure?" she asks, worried.

"Bobby's here, I won't leave without talking to him." I explain.

"Of course." Faith smiles. Hugging me, giving Ethan a look of concern and the getting in the car Clayton had lent her for the time being.

I watch her drive away and turn to Ethan. "I remember when we were burying Bobby. I hated that he knew no one in this entire cemetery. I feel awful for such a thought. Now, he knows too many." I grab my stomach and try not to let myself get sick again. Ethan pulls me into him. I let him hold me for a moment, then push away. "This is so hard Ethan. They are dead because of me ."

"You can't blame yourself Alec. They knew that joining an illegal street gang was going to be dangerous. You never sugar coated the danger. They knew what they signed up for and they died because they stood up against violence. I am not saying it doesn't suck. I am just saying it is better than a senseless death." He trails off and we sit in silence for a long while.

"I love you." I respond unexpectedly.

"I know." He whispers, kissing my hands. "Come on, let's say hello to Bobby."

We walk over to the crypt and I stand there, holding Ethan's hand for a very long while. So long, I see the cemetery crew do their last round of checks before they lock the gates. I give them a polite wave and walk back to the car. Ethan goes for the driver's door but I stop him.

"I need to get away from here for a while." I tell him. "Please."

"Define a while." He responds cautiously.

"Forever." I answer, pained.

"That is the grief talking. If I take you away I know of few fragile friendships of mine would be destroyed instantly. Friendships you depend on for your survival so I am not going to do anything to damn them."

"A month?"

"No."

"A week?" I beg. "Please, Sir don't deny this."

He runs his hands through his hair. "Fine but you are going in person and telling them this is your idea. You will also tell them where we are going. You will inform them when we get there and you will promise to check in with them daily after they have your constantly charged phone on their GPS locator."

"That might be a problem." I frown. "I want to go to the mountains. I've never seen them but I made a promise to Bobby once that I would."

"Well the Appalachian's are out, they are not known for cell phone service." I give him a look of determination. "The Rockies on the other hand, they are known for good service. Especially in populated areas." He gives a shrug. "We could go to Colorado."

"Tonight." He gives me a look of disapproval. "I'll video conference them." I take his hands. "Please Sir, I need this."

"Are you sure you want me with you and not one of your friends?" he questions, touching my cheek.

"Yes." I answer, kissing him lightly. "Sir, I don't just _want_ you with me. I _need_ you with me."

"Are you prepared to fly?" he asks skeptical.

"I have this friend, who has a private plane I know I can borrow." I shrug. "It's not a commercial airline."

Ethan gives me a small smile. "Get in, call your friends." I sit down in the passenger seat and he looks at me. "How long have we known each other?"

"Too long, why?"

"Open the glove box." He shrugs. I open the glove box and find both of our passports, birth certificates and social security cards. "I knew you needed to run away for a little while, I just didn't know where you wanted to go."

"Thank you." I smile.

"Call your friends." He repeats, starting up the car.

To say my friends were supportive of my decision is a stretch. It helped that Ethan kept butting into the group conference, reminding them this wasn't his idea. Clayton was the one who finally put his foot down and told me that his plane was at my disposal. By the time the details of their comfort was sorted out I was at the airport. Mike chimed in and asked Ethan his measurements. He then told us to expect clothes in our cabin and texted me the information I would need. I thanked him for thinking ahead. He just flashed a smile and nodded. When I hung up Clayton called me privately almost immediately.

"Angel?"

"I'm sorry Clayton but I need a break from all of this. It's too much. I can't go home and think about it anymore. I need a distraction. Please." I find my cheeks wet with tears.

"You come back to me you understand." He whispers in a pained voice.

"Always." I promise.

"Take care of Faith. Please." I clear my throat. "Take care of yourself."

"I will."

"And Clayton?"

"Yeah."

"Make sure Mike has booked something with exclusivity. We are going to need our privacy."

"I will make sure he has toys with your clothes." He replies, knowingly.

"Thank you."

We say or goodbyes and I get on the plane with Ethan. The moment the seatbelt restriction is lifted I place myself in his arms, twisting our fingers together and leaning back on him. "Promise me something?"

"You know I hate promises, Pet."

"Promise me anyway." I reply meeting his skeptical eyes.

"You need pain." He replies knowingly.

"Yes." I confirm. "But that isn't what I am asking."

"I will give you what you need my pet, nothing less." He kisses our entwined fingers.

"I need you to not bring up the things we are flying away from. Can I please have the lead on it? If I want to talk about them I will." I squeeze our fingers. "All of them, dead or alive."

"I can promise that." He whispers, kissing my forehead.

"There's more." I whisper, causing a great sigh. "Promise me I am yours forever."

He draws his eyebrows together in concern. "You know you are."

I bite my lower lip. "Promise that you are mine forever." Ethan sits us up, turning me toward him and touching both my cheeks while he studies my eyes. "Promise me." I repeat.

"Say it Alec." He whispers, pressing his fingertips into the back of my neck. "Say exactly what you want and only then can I consider making such a promise."

"I want this to stop being a forced arrangement."

"You will always be my slave, I cannot change that. Not without putting your life at severe risk."

"You are not hearing me," I complain in frustration. "I want this to stop being a forced arrangement." I repeat.

"Alec."

"Free me." Ethan drops his hands and turns away from me. "Please Sir, I need you to trust me." I startle his lap and kiss his cheek. "Promise me I am yours forever." I whisper in his ear. "Promise me that you are mine forever." He turns to me, confusion all over his face. "Please, release me. I need you to trust me."

"If I say the words, I won't take them back. You won't be protected from my family, our any of their enemies." He warns with fear and determination in his voice. "It's not a good idea Alec, think of the reason we are on this plane! Don't ask me to take your protection away!"

"Free me forever Ethan." I reply, tears filling my eyes.

"Alec, please." He begs.

"Say it! Trust me!" I reply determined. He touches my face and closes his eyes. "Look at me." I demand in a furious whisper.

He shakes his head back and forth, his voice is filled with so much pain, it makes my heart hurt. "You are free Alec Impavido. I nor my family no longer hold any claim to you. I am no longer your owner, I can no longer protect you or your friends."

"Thank you." I whisper, knowing he meant it. He turns away and pushes me off of him. My response is simple. I kneel before his feet. "Promise me that you are mine forever." I repeat, refusing to let this go. He snaps his head to me.

"I don't understand." He admits.

"Just promise." I reply, slipping my fingers back into his.

"You got what you wanted Alec." He growls, trying to free his hands but I keep my fingers tight around his.

"Stop fighting me!" I warn. "Stop fighting this!" He squeezes my hands back. "This is me, showing you I mean it Ethan. I am not a fool, I know you have always questioned how I feel. You just freed me and look at where I am choosing to be right now. Listen to what I am asking you to promise." His eyes are liquid furry but I don't give in. "Promise me that you are mine forever."

"Alec." He answers, cautiously

"Promise me."

"I promise." He finally replies in a shaky voice.

"Marry me." I respond with a smile. His eyes widen in shock. He was not expecting that. I rub my thumbs over his. "You have promised forever. Marry me Ethan, show me you mean it."

His breathing is shallow as his mind catches up to my thoughts. Being married to him will give me and my friends the same protection. But this is willful. This is something only I could have ever asked for and until recently I would have never dreamed of asking. I hate his family. Despise it. But I love him and that is all that matters. And my friends have proven that they love me no matter who I chose to have in my life. "You just lost …"

"No!" I snap, "You promised only I can bring them up."

He takes a breath in annoyance. I wait him out patiently. Keeping my thumbs in steady circles, kneeling before him. "Show you mean it." I whisper. "Marry me and on our wedding night present me with a collar I can wear proudly. I want to be your willful submissive Ethan, just as much as I want to be your husband."

He takes our joined hands and puts them under my chin. "Promise me you will be mine forever." He whispers. "Promise me that I will be yours forever."

I smile. "I promise. Forever."

"I will marry you Alec. I promise, this will be forever."

He kisses me so softly, I almost don't feel it. Then the plane hits some turbulence and I find myself flat on the floor. Ethan laughs undoes his seat belt, puts me back on his lap, wraps the seat belt around us both, clicking it on my back. I touch his cheek and kiss him. We don't come up for air until we land.

Getting the marriage license was a simple affair. The rent-a-car place knew where we needed to go for a license and we were given several justice of the peace contact information. I was in no mood to wait. He however wanted to but I reminded him he freed me and until he presented me with a collar again, he didn't have final say. He found this annoying. I found it fun.

I called everyone on the list I was given and made it possible for us to get married the next morning. Ethan was happier about this than I was. I wanted to be married that night. He wanted a little sleep. Not getting discouraged I called around until I found a really pretty vineyard that did weddings. Since we were not looking for a reception they were happy to squeeze us in their packed schedule and let us use a piece of their land for the right price.

The next morning I couldn't get ready fast enough. Mike had a lot of clothes sent but none of them were right for this particular occasion. So we had run out to a small shop last night to find something perfect. Wearing it now felt surreal. I was about to be married. I never dreamed my life would ever take such a turn that I would willfully and happily say I do to anyone. Once Ethan was finally ready I try not to rush to the door.

"Alec wait." Ethan calls stopping me from opening the door. "There is something you need to know. And if you don't want to go through with this after … I understand. I swear we can go back to how we were yesterday." My heart stops. I don't say a word, waiting him out. "I haven't been completely honest with you about Matt."

"Okay." I reply, trying to stay calm.

"He was murdered by the Dolore."

"I know, you told me the day you told Clayton." I reply. "I was waiting for you to be ready to talk about it. I didn't feel it my place to question you about him. I know it is painful."

"Might have left out the part that we were married." Ethan frowns.

"I see." I reply standing there unsure what to say.

"It is why I hated her before she went after you. I blame her. Had she just listened to her damn brother's Matt would have never been killed."

"I'm sorry." I frown.

"I'm not telling you thing just to relieve my conscious of a lie Alec." Ethan snaps, annoyed with my confusion. "I am telling you this because marrying me puts you at a whole new level of risk. My family has enemies Alec and not just the Dolore. You haven't been exposed to them because Lance and I have been very careful. But this, this is going to shine a light on you like you never had before. A family member marrying a slave … it is dangerous."

"Are you changing your mind?"

"I am making sure you understand what it means to marry me."

"I should have died at the age of seventeen." I inform him. "If I could change anything in my life it would be that Glory lived and I died in her place." I swallow hard. "I can't change it, no matter how much I want to. Even today, knowing what I would give up, I would gladly trade places with her." I meet his watery eyes. "Every day that I have been forced to live without her, is a day I don't deserve. The fates have punished me for it for years and I have let them. Every time I feel like I can be happy, something happens. I relate to Tantalus more than any other myth on this Earth." I take his hand. "But right now you and I are about to do something that is going to make us both extremely happy. Will it be for a day? A week? A year? I don't know. I don't care. I just want to finally be happy. I don't care about the price tag Ethan. I want this. Please."

"You know I have the hardest time denying you." He replies, causing me to attack him with my lips.

At ten o'clock the next morning we found ourselves purchasing six cases of wine in exchange for the use of their photographer. The landscape was beautiful and the wedding was short and simple. We were married in under ten minutes. We celebrated at the bar with a glass of wine while I checked in with my friends, not telling them what I had been up to and then went into town. Ethan apparently had done some research of his own on a surprise wedding gift.

I will admit I am confused when he pulls into a leather shop. He just smiles and leads me inside. The smell of leather is intoxicating. And this place has it all. From pants, to vests, to wristbands to collars. My eyes flash to his and he smiles. "Yes, dear husband. We are getting you a custom collar." He confirms, jerking me to him and kissing me hard. I smile on his lips.

The business owner comes over. "Can I help you?"

"I do hope so." Ethan smiles at him. "I am Ethan, we spoke on the phone."

"Ah yes, of course." The guy smiles. "Follow me to the back."

We follow this very built, very tall man to the back. He picks up a measuring tape and measures my neck. "I have laid out some things here. It should take a few hours to custom a collar. More if you want the full body gear."

"Just the collar." Ethan replies.

"Can do." The man notes.

The next few hours we watch him work. Ethan gives his input on what he wants. I give mine on how it feels. When everything is cut, stretched and complete Ethan has me try it on, only to take it off. I frown but he rolls his eyes at my pout. We walk out of the shop with a very beautiful piece of leather I cannot wait to put back on.

I take the car keys from him causing him to raise an eyebrow. "I'm starving!" I explain. "I am picking the restaurant, no arguments!"

"You are pushing this non-collared thing a bit far don't you think?" he challenges when we get in the car.

"What?" I ask innocently.

"Live it up Alec, we will not be equals much longer."

I chose a small town restaurant and we order a decent meal. I am surprised I even have an appetite to be honest. But the day has been so surreal that my body simply allowed me to eat. So I did. I ate a three course meal and so did Ethan. When we leave the restaurant he takes the keys, gives me a look of warning and gets in the driver's seat. He takes us back to the very quaint dude ranch where we have our own cottage. And brings me inside. We stand there for a moment and he stares at me. "You realize we got married today?"

"Yes." I smile kissing him.

He breaks away holding my neck with his right hand. "I want to collar you Alec. Will you allow me to be your Master forever and always?" He puts his thumb on my lips before I can answer. "Before you say yes. Realize accepting my collar tonight is your willful agreement to give away your equal right and accept my decisions are always superior to yours."

"We need a dance first." I reply with a smile. He glares but shrugs. I pull out my phone and cue up something I knew was perfect. _Shut out the World_ by Eve to Adam. I place the phone down and take his hand, leading. He laughs in approval when he hears the lyrics. I smile at him, happy as hell, dancing with him. "Yours." I whisper in his ear.

"Mine." He growls, holding me close. "I absolutely love this song. It's perfect."

When the final note plays, I drop to my knees before him. "I willfully accept your collar Ethan, knowing it will forever make us unequal and you my superior."

His eyes turn to liquid seduction and he grabs the seam of my dress shirt, ripping it in half. Causing buttons to fly everywhere and my chest to be exposed. He surprises me when he pulls out a chain like necklace. He smiles at my expression. "He had this ready for me before we even got there." Ethan explains with a smirk, "I want you to have something that will last because you will never take this off. It is titanium." He places a lock in my hand that is engraved with our names and our wedding date. "Don't lock it, just read."

"Alec & Ethan Impavido." I read aloud.

"Yeah I'll get hell for it but I don't care. You married me, not my family."

"Thank you." I whisper handing it back.

He smiles, wrapping the chain snuggly around my neck. "I will ask again as there is no key to this lock Alec. Once it is closed it cannot be opened. Once you make this commitment to me, you cannot take it back. There is no out. I will never free you." He lets the weight of his warning sit in the air before he asks me again, "Do you willfully accept me as your Master, willfully submit our marriage into unequal partners, accepting I am and will always be your superior?"

"I do." I whisper happily, "Forever yours." I feel the chain lock into place giving me such a strong sense of peace I honestly felt joy.

"My pet, this looks so beautiful on you."

I smile and lower my head to the floor. He responds by placing his foot on my cheek. "Yes Pet, this is forever and always your place. You will enjoy this often. You are safe here, I promise."

"Thank you Master." I reply turning enough to kiss the bottom of his foot.

"Stay." He orders walking away only to come back to place a very large butt plug he deep into my ass, actually needing to coach me to get me to accept it. The design allows my body to wrap around the intrusion and keep it in place, while it presses right up against my prostate. "Someone likes this." Ethan smiles wrapping his lips around my arousal. "Fuck Ethan!" I bitch. "Sir please."

He raises up. "It's Master, slipping will only lead to torture." He warns.

"Master." I correct myself.

"Good boy." He smiles, taking my cock back into his mouth and swallowing me down his throat. I cry out in desperation, it feels so good but I know better than to get lost in it. I struggle, begging to cum but he doesn't even relent to answer me with his denial. My body breaks out into a cold sweat and he starts to massage the plug while he swallows my dick so deep he is licking my balls. "Fuck Master please may I cum. Master! Fuck! Master!"

He finally stops and I catch my breath. He leans down and licks up all my pre-cum and then sits up. "Good boy." I give a small whimper, "It's okay Pet you need the pain." He whispers. "I am going to make you nice and sore." I give a moan of protest. "Lots of pain." He whispers again. "I promise."

He steps away again and only to come back with rope to restrain first my right arm and then my left arm high above my head. Securing each on either side, to the open ceiling above, exposing my back. He secures it so that I am still on my knees. "Please may I taste you?" I beg.

"Not yet." He whispers. He secures a spreader bar to my knees, ties my ankles to it and then ties the bar tightly to one of the posts of the bed, on the other side of the room. I am unable to move. But he is kind, he places a thick blanket under my knees.

He shows me the thin bamboo cane. My eyes widen. He smiles. "I promised you pain." I nod. I feel the bamboo brush the scar on my shoulder his cousin carved into me. "I am going to deface this Alec, as it no longer holds meaning. Our collar binds us now as you are my willful submissive. I am sure I speak for you when I say we don't need a reminder of the past."

"Thank you Master." I reply truly grateful.

"This is going to hurt like hell and will take as many strokes as it takes. Would you prefer a gag?"

"No Master." I decide, wanting to be able to freely express myself as my past is erased from my body.

He cannot be gentle, not with the desire to deface it. And he must concentrate in one spot. Though at times he gave me relief when I begged him to. His version of relief wasn't for the weak hearted, he preferred the most tender parts of my body, mostly the back of my thighs or inside of them. It took hours upon hours and my entire body was covered in cane marks when he finally stopped for a long period. I felt a warm towel on my shoulder, wiping away blood. "Just a little more." He whispers, causing me to tense. "I know Pet, you are doing so very well." The second round is worse than the first. It lasts for hours and only stops when I fall to pieces, having no strength to keep myself upright and relying on my restraints to do it for me. "There you are." He encourages. "Took a while to find you." He drops the cane and kneels in front of me. I feel his light touch on my sweaty and in some places, bloody body. "It's okay Pet, let it out. I'm here, you're safe. No hiding, not from me."

He lets me cry for a long while and I protest when I feel him reach to untie my arm. "Please don't." He stops, looking at me in concern. "I want to taste you like this, please."

"No." he whispers, causing a frown. "This has changed my Alec. You will always be unrestrained when you pleasure me."

"And if I don't want to be?"

"Who has the final say? Me or you?" he asks, releasing my feet.

"You do Master." I answer, trying to withhold bitterness.

"Yes, I do. And my final say is that you will always be unrestrained when you pleasure me, your Master."

Disappointed, I look to the floor. "As you wish Master."

"Good boy." He praises, while he finishes untying me.

I cringe when I get blood flow back into my right arm and then my left. He works quickly and before I know it the only thing remaining is the large butt plug still shoved inside my ass. I reach out to him and kiss him, gently lowering him to the floor, freeing his sexy cock from his clothes and finally wrapping my lips around him. He curses. I feel him squirm so I grab him by the hips holding him still, making him accept my pleasure. I know every single part of his body. I know what he likes, what he hates, and what drives him crazy. I concentrate on the last and it doesn't take him long to cum down my throat. When he does I swallow, lick him clean and then kiss his tip before resting on his chest.

"Feel the difference?" he asks, I nod. "Do you understand?" I nod again. He wants me to pleasure him willfully not forcibly. And restraints don't allow me to submit willfully. He raises my chin up to him, "Kiss me." I don't need to be told twice and soon what little clothes he had remaining on his body were discarded. Halfheartedly we spread the blanket I was kneeling on while we kiss and lick each other's skin. He is careful not to aggravate any open wounds. I hiss when I feel the plug being pulled out from inside of me, half curious if my insides were going to go with it. But instead I am filled with his larger cock. His flesh is much more comfortable than steal though. He works me past the point of being sore and I am frustrated with it. Showing my annoyance I pull away, surprising him but I don't give him time to protest much because I have him bent on his knees and my tongue is licking his hole. His ass has always been sensitive and he goes from protesting to moaning in the matter of moments. I work him until he is dripping wet and I position my cock to his mouth. "You do not have permission to cum." He warns.

"I know." I smile, rubbing my tip on his lips. "I just want to pleasure you."

He doesn't resist and I moan when I feel him bring my cock to a dripping mess. Before he can protest, I move back behind him and press my dripping cock into his tight, wet hole causing him to grip the blanket. I ride him slow and teasing. I don't trust myself to pound into him and not lose control. That isn't the purpose of this anyway, I want to bring him maximum pleasure and that allows for teasing. I can tell by the sounds he makes that he is thoroughly enjoying it. I wait for the distinctive change in his voice before I pull out and flip him over. I sit down on his cock and he gasps out in pleasure. "Yes, fuck yes." He cries grabbing my hips and releasing his cum inside of me. I sit on his hips, smiling down on him. He reaches for the still wet towel he had used to wipe my back earlier and he wraps my cock in it, rubbing the wet fabric over it a few times. Then he smiles, lifts me off of him and wraps his lips around my cock. "Cum," he orders with my cock halfway down his throat. I do not need to be told twice. He swallows and then situates us so that I can lay my head on his chest.

"That was . . ." I trail off.

"That was us, making our marriage official in every way allowable." He smiles, holding up the weighted lock. "That was as equal as we will ever become Alec. You will never cum when you are inside of my heat, if you are allowed to cum at all. Never forget, I will always cum first. Do you understand?"

"Yes Master."

"Good." He whispers, dropping the lock. He pulls me comfortably into the crook of his body. We stay quiet for a long while. My mind in a state of rest it isn't been in a week as it processes my fate for the rest of my life. "I want to change my name tomorrow." Ethan informs me, breaking the silence.

"When are you going to tell your family?"

"When I am back in Texas. No one needs to know there is an opportunity with my absence."

"I didn't think about that." I admit sitting up.

"Don't worry Pet, I am being careful. I have Clayton or most likely Mike using my card around town at my usual haunts."

"How?"

"Left it on the plane." He smiles. "I do have Clayton's number, we do text." He combs his fingers through my hair. "Tomorrow, we will make the final arrangements for this change."

"That is going to leave a trail." I frown.

"Marriage license already left one." Ethan points out. "Stop worrying no one will be looking that close, not with my card being used in Texas. Breathe baby."

"We can't stay long can we?" I ask, standing up and reaching for my pants.

He stops me, by gripping my wrist when I find the fabric on the floor. "We can stay for a week, possibly two. Try something more comfortable than dress pants."

"What?" I ask and then look at what I am holding. "Right, sorry."

He lets me go, gets up to dig through some suit cases and tosses me some loose fitting pants and put on a pair himself. Once I am dressed I walk outside into the cool mountain air and sit. Ethan follows me not much later with something in his hand. "I really need to dress this wound."

I rub my hands over my eyes. "I'm sorry, I just needed some air."

"It's okay, the cabin window is providing good light. This is going to sting some though."

He wasn't lying about that. It hurt like hell but I understood the need behind it. "After we get back from town tomorrow, may we go hiking?"

"Yes." He answers, finishing up and kissing my shoulder.

"Two weeks?" I ask. "Is it really possible we can have this bubble for two full weeks?"

"I'd lock you away forever if I could." He whispers, taking a blanket that was draped on the bench and bringing it over us as we listened to the crickets. "But yes, I will make arrangements with everyone for an extra week."

"Thank you Master." I smile, resting my head on his shoulder. "Bobby was right." I whisper looking up at the stars, "the mountains are beautiful."


	41. Defining New Boundaries

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Defining New Boundaries**

 **Alec's Point of View**

In the light of day I find Ethan staring me awake. I frown when I see the worry in his eyes. "What is it?"

"Nothing. I just, worry that this isn't real."

I moan in protest of waking up this way. "Are you regretting this?"

"No, never!" he answers, then looks down at the blanket. "Are you?"

"If I have to wake up like this every day." I mutter. "I need coffee."

"I'm serious Alec."

"So am I. I proposed remember." I reply testy.

"Yeah but. . ."

"But what Ethan?" I ask, grabbing him by the hips and pinning him under me.

"Clayton and Bobby both asked you before and the only person you ever married was me." He replies, firmly.

"You think too much." I bitch. He gives me a look that tells me he isn't giving this a rest until he has answers. I roll off of him and stare at the wood framed ceiling. "You are forgetting how they proposed, Master." I reply, not really wanting to talk about this, ever. "Clayton offered to ride off in the sunset together once when he finally admitted to himself that he loved me. By then I was with Bobby and refused to go back to him. He told me again that he made a mistake when his mother was dying and he and Ryan confronted one another after damn near two decades. He didn't mean it either time Ethan. Even if he had, I had moved on. Our relationship was a friendship, there was no going back."

"So why didn't you and Bobby ever get married?"

"How could I ask him to marry me when I was in love with both of you?" I reply feeling guilty. "He almost proposed once, but I stopped him before he could. Besides his motives weren't pure either. He was jealous of Clayton, which he got over eventually but jealousy is no reason to propose."

"You would have never married me if Bobby had lived, would you?" Ethan replies, staring at the ceiling himself.

"I was in love with both of you. How would getting married to either of you been fair to the other?" I ask turning my head toward him.

"Kind of makes me feel guilty to be happy." Ethan frowns.

"Did you kill Bobby?"

"No."

"Then don't feel guilty." I reply dryly, getting out of bed. "I need coffee."

We are quite while I fumble around in the kitchen, making coffee. "I'm sorry." He whispers, wrapping his arms around me.

"Don't be. You asked legitimate questions. I answered honestly." I turn to him. "I don't want to repeat this conversation Ethan. I want this insecurity gone and out of our relationship. Bobby is someone I will always love and there will be times I need to be alone with memories of him or with people who have memories of him. Clayton is a part of my life. He is my soul mate. You know this, you were with me during the darkest parts of my life and you knew that I needed him by my side, along with you. I know I am your submissive and unequal and all of that but in this matter, this one thing, I have complete control. I do not and will not tolerate jealousy of Clayton. Mike knows it, and now you know it. Either of you become idiots and try to break our friendship; you will find yourself divorced."

"There is no reason to be jealous of someone I see as my brother-in-law." Ethan shrugs.

"Clayton and I are more than that." I clarify, worried I am not getting through to him.

"You were." Ethan responds. "But both of you have decided to share vows with other men. Don't you think it's time to stop seeing each other as lovers?"

I look at him skeptically, "What are you saying?"

"I want a monogamous marriage." Ethan replies, making me very grateful I wasn't sipping my very hot coffee. I cautiously set the cup down, staring at him. "I'm serious." He glares.

"What would your boyfriend have to say about that?" I ask, keeping my tone steady, and my eyes directed right at him.

"My fuckbuddy will completely understand." Ethan shrugs.

"I thought he meant more than that."

"I let you assume."

"You wanted me jealous." I accuse.

"You hate the idea of sharing me." He points out. "Monogamous Alec. I am not just your Master, I am your husband."

"I need to be able to dominate. Ethan it is a part of who I am."

"You can play Alec. I am not caring about that. Just keep sex out of it."

"Define sex." I reply dryly.

"I believe you had a non-sexual domination relation with Levi."

"We tried. After the cabin, it changed." I admit. "Then he married Chloe."

"Yes well I don't plan on kidnapping and freaking out your submissives, so I think you will manage just fine."

"Cute." I snap, picking up my coffee and taking a drink. "Allow for oral assuming the submissive is tested and vetted by you, with the exception of my Angels."

"Exception?" he challenges. I shrug. He rolls his eyes at me and walks away.

"Where are you going?" I ask, confused.

"To take a shower." Ethan calls over his shoulder.

"We're not finished talking are we?"

"Yeah we are." He replies, turning around, walking backwards to the bathroom "Your ass is off limits to every dick except mine for the rest of your life. As for your dick, that too is mine, however I will share it, as long as terms are agreed upon beforehand."

I smile over my cup. I watch him disappear into the bathroom and take a very large gulp of coffee. Fuck this marriage thing is not going to be easy. I frown further, thinking about the near future and having to explain to my friends. I shake my head, pushing my thoughts aside. That is for another day's worries. Today isn't that day. I decide now is a good time to check in with Clayton who is about to start a business meeting, from his hospital bed.

"What happened to less stress?" I frown.

"I can't just sit here, I am going nuts. Ask Mike, the monitors have gotten better readings since I started working. Don't freight too much. I am keeping it light, mostly demos."

"At least demos relax you." I smile. "Find anything good?"

"I may have set up one or two studio interviews." He admits. "But not until I get back from my dad's."

"You're dad?"

"Yeah, I haven't spent a lot of time with him lately and it is better than a hospital bed. Mike agrees that it is good for me."

"Good." I smile.

"How are you? How is Colorado?"

"Refreshing." I admit. "Beautiful scenery. Very glad I came. Might stay an extra week."

"An extra week?"

"I'm coming back to you Angel I promise." I assure him.

He looks at me for a moment, "Yeah I think I can swing coverage for the center for another week. Faith has been a major help this week. You need this break." He tells me. "If I can venture to say you look a little bit more like yourself and it has only been a couple of days."

"I have my moments." I frown. "I am sure you have the same."

"Yeah." He admits. "What is that around your neck?"

"Oh umm." I panic, covering it up the lock with my hand. "A gift. An important one. I'll explain it more when I get back."

"Is it a collar?" Clayton accuses, in a slightly bitter tone.

"Yes." I admit, keeping the wording hidden with my hand. "Like I said, it was a gift. It was my choice to accept it. Give me a chance to talk to you about it in person?" He stares at me. "Clayton, I promise you my Angel nothing is happening that I don't want."

"Be careful with how much you commit to him Alec, never forget who he is related to." I force a half smile. "I have to go. Be safe Angel."

"You too, heal." I hang up the phone and see Ethan standing next to me. It is obvious by his face that he heard the end of the conversation.

I drop my hand. "I didn't want him reading it. I think it is best to tell him in person."

"And if he has a problem with who you chose to marry?"

"Then it is his choice to walk out of my life. I can't stop him." I shrug, shaking the phone in my hand. "I need to call Faith."

"Of course." Ethan replies, trying to hide his nerves.

I speak to Faith for a little longer than I expect. She has a lot of questions about the Youth Center and a lot of ideas. I eventually ask her to email the list of changes she would like to make. In the meantime, I brief them on how to deal with some of the dynamics of the kids and answered her questions on where they could find things she needs.

When I get off the phone I quickly jump in the shower and brush my teeth. I dress in a pair of jeans and put on wear a few layers of clothing, knowing we are going to be hiking later. We head out to the nearest city with a social security office and in under twenty minutes of arriving Ethan walks out with a new name. Both of us can't stop smiling.

We drive back to the town closest to our cabin and we buy some food and good shoes for our hike. We talk to the shop owners about recommended trails and we get directions to some really nice places for a picnic. Once we leave we head off to a place we heard of where there is a lake nearby. We hike a good mile before we find it.

"Can I ask you something?" I ponder, handing him his sandwich.

"You just did." He smiles. I raise my eyebrow at him. "What is on your mind Alec?"

"When we go back to reality, how is your family going to react to this?" I ask nervously.

Ethan slowly takes in a very deep breath that he lets out loudly. "I can ask you the same question."

"I answered that this morning, if my friends have a problem with who I married they can walk away from me. If it is true for Clayton, it is true for everyone else."

"And your parents? Are you going to tell them?" He asks. I stare at him, waves of shock at the question keeps me speechless. "You contacted them when you first moved."

"How did you know that? I was careful. I used a burner phone." My body ceases in panic. I look at him desperately. "You told me in California you knew my name, my real name. And then my parents are fucking advertising who they are on the internet. Pricilla attacked me and Clayton in my own house!"

"Calm down." Ethan whispers, putting his hands on mine. "They are safe. Alec the moment you were comfortable using your real name I made them disappear."

"The how did I find them when I came to Texas?"

"Okay not the moment, your dad is extremely stubborn." He shrugs. "It helped that you contacted them. They wanted to be there for you when you did. It also helped I promised you still could if you ever wanted to. They are safe Alec, no one knows who they are or where they are except me. I can tell you, if you want to know."

"No." I frown. "It's not safe. Too many people want me dead." I dismiss.

"Safety, that is the only reason?" Ethan challenges.

"I don't know, maybe not." I frown, picking at my sandwich. "I get times have changed since they first found out. Hell it's legal for me to get married in any State now. Mindsets have come a long way. My father even admitted he reacted poorly." I turn to the lake, chewing my food.

"But?" Ethan presses.

"I know I wouldn't have met you or Bobby or Clayton. But maybe I would have met you? Under normal life circumstances." Ethan gives me a look that screams I am floating on the river of denial. "They are my parents. They are supposed to love me. Not think the devil is in me because I am not attracted to girls."

"You haven't forgiven them." Ethan realizes.

"Any day now." I mutter, taking another bite. "Still they are my parents. You swear they are safe?"

"Yes, just say the word and you can speak with them again." Ethan promises. "Alec, don't wait much longer, life is too short to hold grudges."

"Thank you." I whisper, kissing him softly on the lips and taking a drink of my water.

"You're turn. How will your family react?"

Ethan suddenly becomes over involved with his food. "You are family now, not a slave. Which means Pricilla is in a lot of hot water." He looks up from his food. "You have to make sure you want this Alec. Once you are in and the union is accepted by The Quattro, there is no out. Even if we divorce, you would still be considered a family member." I give a look of disgust. "Yeah we both hate it. I don't like the idea of adding to the family tree and you are now related to your worst enemies." He looks at me. "The good news is you can never be a slave again." He eats a while before he continues. "I won't lie, I could have offered you marriage over slavery to save Levi all those years ago but it didn't feel right. I swore I would never propose the idea to you."

"You didn't." I remind him.

"Not because I didn't want to. And it ate at me so badly because my selfishness prevented me from protecting you in some ways." He suddenly looks older.

"Ethan you had the right not to offer an arranged marriage. Had you done so I would have chosen slavery anyway. We weren't ready then. We are now. Please Master, don't." He nods and we are quite for some time. "When you say The Quattro has to accept our union . . ."

"I mean they have to accept it."

"If they don't?"

"We are disowned and no one is protected from my family's hatred or anyone else." I frown at that. "You are right to be apprehensive. There are going to be hoops Alec, lots of them."

"Still it is in my best interest to suck it up to protect everyone."

"Bluntly put, yes." Ethan frowns. "But that leaves the problem of Lance and his jealousy."

"Of course it does." I bitch finishing my sandwich and rubbing my hands free of crumbs.

"I can talk to my cousin." Ethan offers.

I shake my head. "This is a political nightmare I don't want to think about right now." I decide. "We have twelve and a half days of bubble left. That is where I want to be. Look around Mr. Ethan Impavido we are alone."

He grins at me, tosses the remainder of his sandwich into the grassy field and brings me into his arms. "Yes we are Alec Impavido. And I love to do naughty things to you when we are alone."

"Painful things." I beg.

"Careful Pet."

"Please." I beg again, ignoring his warning.

"Take off your clothes." He orders, pulling out hemp rope and tent stakes. I obey his command. "Spread eagle on the blanket, lay on your back." I eagerly follow his direction, watching him use the crude rope to bid my right wrist and then taking a stake and hammering it into the ground. He does this for all of my limbs, making sure I am uncomfortably stretched out and I have very little play. "I am not going to gag you Pet. You can scream all you want. No one will hear you." I watch as he pulls from his bag a very large black candle and a lighter. "No marks today, you need to heal. But is going to hurt, I promise."

He starts by dropping down between my legs and giving me a fantastic blow job. Which feels so damn good, but I know there is a price, I know I cannot cum. When the urge finally hits I start to cry out but he doesn't stop. My eyes water in agony while I get lost in the pain I was begging for. He is ruthless with it, forcing me to focus so not to cum. He doesn't stop until his jaw needs rest. I gasp when relief finally comes.

My eyes widen in horror when I remember the candle as he is lighting it. He turns it sideways and lets it drip on my sensitive cock. I hiss and he brings the candle closer to my skin making it hurt more. Soon the lake is filled with my cries as drops of hot, black wax slowly cover my flaccid cock and balls. My wrists and ankles are burning from my struggling against the rough restraints. But he doesn't stop, not until he is satisfied.

When he is he moves above me, freeing himself of his jeans. Then he tilts my head backwards and sticks his hard cock inside my mouth and down his throat. Sucking his dick always turns me on and my cock starts to become painfully aroused, cracking the melted wax as it goes. He uses my throat to get off and I find myself swallowing his cum rather quickly. "Good boy, he praises as I struggle to lick him clean." He smiles, kissing my lips before he moves back between my legs. "I'm not going to allow you release Pet." He warns, "Accept that now. You want pain and I will deliver. Each step back to the cabin will be agonizing for you." He starts to peel the wax off of my cock and balls. It hurts but not all that bad. Well that is until I see him light that damn candle and do it all over again. I thought the first time was agonizing I was wrong. Sensitive skin from having wax pulled off of you makes it much fucking worse. Tears stream down my eyes as I accept this, not once, not twice but three damn times.

"You are being such a good boy Pet." He praises. "Accepting and not begging for mercy." He sucks on my nipples before he drops wax on them. "Do you have any idea how much this is turning me on?"

"My body is for your pleasure Master." I reply.

"Hmm, it is." He agrees. "But I am not ready to untie you." He drops back down and starts to suck my cock again for what feels like hours. I can't honestly tell you how much time has passed since this cock torture started but I can tell you the sun is much lower in the sky than it was when we started. He was giving me small breaks but they were short, few and far between. "Such a good boy." He praises. "I so hate to stop but we need light to get back." He reaches in the bag and pulls out a cock cage. My eyes widen in protest. "I know you hate these but it is necessary. I plan on fucking you in a few minutes and you are not going to cum, this will help you with that."

"Master please, I can do this without it. I won't disappoint you." I plead.

"I have no doubt in your ability to please me Pet." He smiles. "But this will give you that pain you begged me for." I swallow hard, knowing protesting is pointless. He waits for my cock to soften before he traps me into a very short metal cage. I bite my lip when he locks it then puts the key on his necklace.

"Leave the ropes please."

"Alec we've had this discussion, you will not be bound."

"Then unstake me, but please, don't take the rope off." I plead.

"I can agree t that."

"Thank you Master."

He undoes the stakes from the ground and immediately I move to my knees and stick my ass in the air. "Eager whore." He teases, smacking me hard in the ass. I moan. He drops down and starts to tease my hole with his tongue. My eyes widen when I realize he isn't simply trying to create lube, he seriously wants me aroused. I grunt, grabbing the blanket in protest when my dick responds, only to be trapped and swollen in the small cage. "Fuck!" I curse out loud.

Master stops his teasing with a laugh then he moves to my side, shoves his cock down my throat until I chock on it, causing him to drip with my spit. He quickly moves behind me and presses into my ass. I cry out from the pain, saliva is never a good enough lube. "That's it Pet, scream. It only makes me harder." He encourages, grabbing my hips. It takes him a short while to find his orgasm but when he does my dick is in so much agony it's damn near numb. While his cock pulses deep into my ass he takes off the ropes. When he is finished he pulls out. "Good boy, time to get dressed."

We both do so quickly and pack up just as fast. He helps me to my feet and I hiss, my legs hurt like hell from being denied gratification. "I'm not done." He promises. "When we get back I am going to fuck your ass so fucking slowly, it's going to take all night for me to cum. After I do I am putting that plug back up inside of you while you sleep. Tomorrow after your morning wood wakes you from your little nap, I am going to torture your cock all over again. If you are good, I might let you cum." He unzips the small portion of his bag, pulls out the leather collar that we had made and locks it onto me. Then he attaches a beautiful leather rope to it. "Hands at your sides." He orders then takes the rope back out and bids my wrists to my upper thighs. "We should make it back just a little after dark. Then your body will please me once again."

"Thank you Master." I smile, such an honor.

"Hmm." He smiles. "Just wait Pet, these two weeks are going to be filled with so much pain, you will forget your own name."


	42. Shock

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Shock**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

How do you mourn the death of someone you willfully walked away from? I felt like such a hypocrite being there. Yet I could not stay away, I didn't blame Daniel's parents for not wanting my presence. I am grateful to Tasha for standing up for me. I didn't stay as long as I would have liked but I did stay long enough to say my goodbye.

Not wanting to go home after my hospital stay I tell Mike that I need some time. He is a little concerned but he understands my request. It takes him and Brooke two days to agree to it but they finally do. When I finally get released from that damn hospital I drive myself to my father's house. The moment I am through the front door my dad walks up to me and gives me quick hug then squeezes my shoulder "I'm sorry son."

"Thanks." I was released without any restrictions on my walking but I am in no mood to over do it so I quickly make my way to the couch.

"I know you love him son. Is there anything I can do?"

"Bring him back?" I ask, dropping my head in my hands. "I'm sorry, I am just trying to accept this."

"I understand." My dad says in a solemn voice. He sits down next to me for a long while before he speaks again. "So you got hitched."

"Yeah, about that. I -"

"Surprised me." He interrupts, "Not that you got married, just who you married."

"You and the rest of the world."

"That isn't exactly what I meant." My dad frowns. "Not trying to have bad timing here son, but I always knew you and Daniel weren't compatible." I give him a sobering look. "Sometimes you have to let your kids make their own choices, even if you know it is the wrong one." He explains with a shrug. I nod. "I just thought you and Alec had a chemistry. Something I haven't seen with you and Mike, I was just under the impression he worked for you."

"Alec and I make better friends." I frown, feeling like a broken record. "Mike and I." I shake my head, trying to figure out how to explain. "This isn't new between us. We tried before but I hurt him. I never dreamed he would forgive me for it but he has. I trust him Dad, I love him."

"Sounds like you made a good choice." Dad smiles but his eyes stay skeptical; making me wonder if he feels this is another situation where he has to let his kid make his own mistake. "Seems like a nice guy. I would like to know more of him." He adds.

"I promise not to keep him away." I smile. "He makes me happy Dad. You'll see." We fall silent for a while. "I just can't be with him right now. I don't think it is fair to Daniel's memory or my marriage if I cry on Mike's shoulder over this."

"You know you are always welcome here son." Dad frowns. "How can I help you?"

"I don't know." I frown, tears spilling out of my eyes. "I may not have chosen Daniel but it doesn't mean I stopped loving him. Dad, I hurt him so badly because I always hurt people I love, and now he is gone. There is not fixing it or salvaging a friendship, he is simply gone. How am I supposed to feel?"

"You can't do that son, it isn't fair to you or Daniel. For him, you were the last chapter in his life."

"I wasn't. His murderer was." I correct, my eyes harden.

"Clay." My dad frowns.

"He cheated on me with the guy who ended up killing him Dad." I explain, knowing my father doesn't have all the details. "If I had just forgiven him." I start to cry harder.

"Then I might have been attending your funeral." My dad replies. I turn to him. "Obviously what he thought he had wasn't real. And you were the last real chapter in Daniel's life. The best thing you can do for the both of you is remember the good. Remember the smiles and file away the tears. Learn your lessons, do better in your current relationship. That is the best way to honor him." He squeezes my knee. "Don't feel guilty about mourning son, losing someone hurts like hell."

I see the all too familiar ghosts in his eyes and I am unsure if he is talking about my ma'ma or close friends he lost in the war all those years ago. "Mind if I stay for a couple of days?"

"Not at all." He smiles. "But I am going to bed. Your friend Faith talks me to death." He laughs, "I don't mind, I just got used to the quiet after your ma'ma passed. I will see you in the morning."

"Where is Faith?" I ask.

"Said something about Lilly and Monica taking her on a girls trip."

I smile at that. "Good night Dad." I call after him.

The next few days I intentionally restrict myself to landline access only. I really don't want the distractions of the outside world. Alec was surprised when I sent him the text explaining to call me at my father's house, which lead to an almost immediate phone call. He is concerned but I reassured him I was fine. Mike seems to be pretending to understand more than anything. I know this hurts him and he is doing his best to be supportive. I also know it is adding massive stress to him at work which I feel bad for but it isn't changing my resolve. I need this time to deal and accept this pain without feeling guilty; even if my loved one's don't realize they make me feel that way.

While I process I do manage to do some things around the house. I would like to hire help for other things but my father absolutely refuses. Wishing I was healthy enough to do them myself, I promise him they will get done the moment I am at full strength. The distractions were nice. In between necessary repairs Dad and I find ourselves playing a three day long chess game. We have life conversations and cook some really good meals. All of it helped, really helped.

On the fourth day however I wake to find Mike watching me sleep. "Please tell me nothing is wrong." I moan, closing my eyes.

"Nothing is. I promise." He whispers taking my hand. "I just needed to see you."

"I'm sorry." I whisper squeezing his hand. "It just didn't feel right to burden you with this."

"Clay, you are not a burden and I completely understand what you are going through."

"Is there any news on Isaac? Did they catch the motherfucker?"

"I'm sorry Clay."

I roll over onto my back and stare at my ceiling. "I should have been more persistent on checking the guy out. I was so angry and hurt that I dropped the ball."

"Stop." Mike demands, catching a tear from my cheek. "You did check him out Clay. He came back clean, remember."

I shake my head. "I have good instincts Mike. Isaac refused to meet me. And the one time we did run into each other I was so caught up in my own world that I didn't acknowledge the red flag of his attitude."

"You can't blame yourself Clay. Besides, we aren't sure he is responsible."

"Aren't we?" I reply bitterly causing us to both become silent.

Mike eventually pulls me closer to him, "They will find him Clay. They will find him and he will pay."

"Do you believe that?"

"Yes." He answers bringing my hand to his lips.

"There is something I have been needing to tell you and I haven't figured out how." I blurt out looking at him, causing him to hold his breath. "The problem is I don't want to tell you, it pretty much defeats the purpose and puts you at risk. But we had fight about me shutting you out and I don't want to shut you out."

"If you are trying to make me feel better, it isn't working." He replies, nervously licking his lips.

"When Xzavier." I stop, still unable to completely come to terms with the reality of what happened. "I let him, I wasn't forced."

"What, why?" he asks astonished.

"To protect you." I answer honestly, causing his eyes to wide. "You are untouchable to him now Mike. He nor his minions will ever hurt you."

"You trust his word?"

"As long as you don't go in with blazing guns, I am pretty sure he will stick to it." I shrug. "It was going to happen to me either way Mike. At least this way, I could protect you."

"I'm not sure if I should thank you or tell you off." He admits.

I take his hand, "I listened. You spoke and I listened." He stares at me. "You are heard Mike, please know that. Because had you not spoken, you would not be torn between these emotions, because I would not have told you."

"Thank you." He whispers, squeezing my hand.

"It's time to face the world, isn't it?" I sigh deeply, turning my head back to the ceiling.

"Only when you are ready Clay."

I close my eyes. "I need to work." He says nothing but I can feel what he is thinking. "You need some time off." I decide.

"Sorry?"

"There are some things around here that need to be done, that my healing health won't let me do." I explain, "I don't want to hire anyone, that leaves you."

"Clay, this isn't the best time. There are meetings, the girl's new record is being finalized."

"I can take care of all of that." I assure him, dismissively. "Besides, my father would like to get to know his son-in-law."

"I don't exactly hold a great record when it comes to family Clay." He frowns. I can see hurt filter over his face. I want to ask so badly, but not until him and I can escape from the world, where we talk about everything.

I give him a half smile, "To be fair, neither is my dad." I admit. "But I am asking that you try. Please Mike." He nods his head, squeezing my hand in acceptance. "Thank you."

"How long?" he asks, looking worried.

"A week." I answer causing him to look even more nervous. "I will come back on Friday, we will leave together on Sunday evening."

"Don't leave today, please." He begs.

"I'll leave this evening." I whisper. "I need to show you what needs to be done."

"I'm nervous." He admits.

"I know." I whisper, bringing my lips to his.

"A week is a long time." He complains.

"We both need this. Work needs this." I explain. "Come on, let's go talk to my dad."

The next week is rather exhausting. There are things that only I can do at the office and truthfully I have been neglecting. I spend most of my time working damn near eighteen hour shifts but at least it is productive.

When I pick Mike up from my father's house we have some good quality family time. My dad and Mike seem to be more comfortable around each other. Mike managed to finish all of the list I gave him plus some other things my dad asked him to do. I couldn't help but notice my dad watching Mike and I together. When I caught his eye he would just smile, letting me know he is beginning to understand. I smile back, it is wonderful to have his support.

The few days we spend there with the three of us is gratifying but as with all good things they must end. We say our farewells and promise to visit soon. The moment we get out of the driveway, I switch my business back on, asking Mike to pull out his tablet and we work day in and day out for the next week. By the end of it both of us are ragged but for once in a very long time I feel accomplished. We are in the middle of a meeting when my phone goes off. I stop Mike with his thought and check it because I had it set for priority texts only. When I read the message it scares me so damn much I feel light headed.

"Clay? What is it?" Mike asks, his voice laced in concern.

I shake my head, staring at my phone. "It's Alec. Something is wrong."

Mike takes my phone with concern and curiousity, reading out loud. "Hello, Clayton, meet me at my place at eight. Kitchen chair, clothed. ~Grand Master Alec." He looks up at me. "Okay so not dead or in a hospital that is good." He hands back my phone. "I don't get it Clay, what's wrong?"

My heart skips a beat as my eyes read it over and over again. "Everything." I answer, my eyes welding with tears, "The last time he used this message I walked out of his life and broke both our hearts." I swallow hard, "The wording is almost identical."

Mike starts to pack up from the meeting. "Respond back, tell him you are on your way."

"No, we are going to my house Mike. I don't want to risk any de ja vue." I reply, responding to the text. After a few brief responses I turn to Mike, "He's meeting us in an hour."

After we clean up and make arrangements for our absence we leave work a little early. Mike insists on driving, speeding to get there. He tries to have a conversation about places the girls have had successful concerts in Europe and offering new places in lieu of some of the same cities where the sales proved to be flat. I do my best to concentrate on what he is saying, and try to keep Lily's and Monica's personal preferences at forefront of where they will be spending the next year.

But admittedly the text has me distracted. Having seen Alec in a collar has compounded my anxiety. He wants to talk about something. Why couldn't he explain the collar over the phone? Why was he hiding it through every conversation we had after I mentioned it. Why the hell would he accept a collar from Ethan in the first place, especially as a gift? What the hell was going on?

"Clay?" Mike states, snapping me out of my spiral. By the look on his face it wasn't the first time he said my name. "Whatever this is, we will get through it, together."

"My gut tells me he might be ending our friendship." I answer, feeling ice water in my veins.

"Don't think the worst." Mike frowns, grabbing my hand and tracing my scar. "Remember how you two got this, fight for it."

"Thank you." I whisper, wrapping his hand in mine, mentally preparing for the fight of my life.

When Mike and I arrive home Alec is there, starting at me from across my kitchen table. I silently curse that he has a key and knows the alarm code but I am happy to see the key isn't laid out on the table next to him or anything. Still the de ja vu is making my stomach twist. Mike can feel the tension in the room. "I'm just going to . . ." he states and exits rather awkwardly.

"You are walking." Alec smiles, happily.

"Short distances, very short but yeah. I should be able to run in about six months are so. Assuming I don't have any more setbacks."

"Clayton that is fantastic." He smiles.

I sit down, trying to mask my anxiety. "Do you remember the last time you told me to meet you clothed in a kitchen chair?" I ask, my voice shaking. "You ended what we had with three words and I nearly walked out of your life forever."

"I remember." he frowns, telling me he chose the wording on purpose.

"So this is that big." I accuse knowingly. "Something happened and you are afraid I am going to walk away." I try to swallow. "Does this have to do with the collar hidden under your shirt? Are you walking away from me?"

He takes my scarred hand and traces the line we made together years ago. "I don't want to, but I will if you ask me to."

"Talk to me Alec. What the hell is going on?" I ask nervously.

"I love you." he whispers, obviously struggling to put the words together. "I made a choice." He squeezes my hand in his so hard it hurts. "I married Ethan."

Instantly I drop his hand in shock causing his eyes to close. I stare at him, running the words in my head again and again. The one thing I asked him not to do, he's done it. I realize he is holding his breath, but I don't know what to say or do to make him stop so I wait. Eventually he opens his eyes and meets my gaze. He doesn't move, neither do I. I can see Mike pop his head in to check on us. His eyes are wide, clearly he heard what Alec had said. I don't acknowledge him, eventually Mike steps back out of sight.

My mind works in overdrive, trying to grasp the reality. Considering the way reality has been treating me lately this should be a rather soft blow, but it isn't. Not because of Ethan, he seems to be nice enough guy but I hate his family. Hell Alec hates his family. Why would he willingly marry into a family like that?

Before I knew what I was doing, I reach out and hook Alec's collar with my fingers, unveiling it from his shirt. Trying to read the inscription I bring him close to my face. The collar is snug, the lock has no hole so I am assuming there isn't a key for it. This does not amuse me but the inscription causes me to let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I let him go and he leans back in his chair. His eyes are pleading with me. He goes to speak several times but he stops himself. So we sit there.

Eventually Mike walks back into the room. "Where is Ethan?"

"In the back yard." Alec answers him, not taking his eyes off of me.

Mike leaves the room, only to bring Ethan back and they join Alec and I at the kitchen table. "Clayton is in shock, I think." Mike tells Ethan.

"Understandable." Ethan shrugs. "It's a shocking turn of events."

"Can't argue." Mike replies awkwardly.

They both fall silent, watching us stare at each other. I only break my gaze from Alec when Ethan places Alec's scarred hand on top of mine. I look at him for a moment then back at Alec. "You two swore a blood oath." Ethan turns to Alec and then to me, "What was it?"

"I vow," Alec recites hoarsely, "that I will always have you in my life, both here and whatever is next." He swallows. "Forever."

"Powerful vow." Ethan notes turning to me, "Bet you weren't thinking that Alec would choose someone you hated as a spouse."

"I don't hate you." I correct, keeping my eyes locked with Alec. "I hate your family."

"This has nothing to do with my family." Ethan counters. "But you knew that the moment you read Alec's lock."

"I'm missing something." Mike states, looking around.

"He took Alec's name." I explain, still looking at Alec. Mike lets out a long whistle.

I squeeze Alec's hand and ask him my first question since he told me. "Who proposed?" Alec hesitates so I press the issue, "Marriage requires a proposal. I want to know whose idea it was."

"I did … I proposed." Alec answers, not helping in the least with the shock factor. Helping with the acceptance factor but not the shock factor. "I was free. I didn't tell him why I asked for my freedom before he granted my request."

"Just like that, he granted your request? No qualms, no concerns about any of our safety bullshit lines he has been feeding you for years?"

"Sitting right here." Ethan responds annoyed, "of course I was apprehensive. I tried to talk him out of it."

"Why did you let him talk you into it?" I snap.

"He asked me to trust him." Ethan answers me in a defeated voice. "How was I to deny him that?"

I sit and stare at Alec some more. Alec had backed Ethan into a corner. For marriage? "You hate marriage." I challenge.

"I don't hate marriage." Alec counters. "I just had reasons for not getting married."

"Reasons?"

"How could I marry Bobby when I was in love with Ethan too? How could I ever say yes to you after our relationship turned into a friendship?" He squeezes my hand, silently questioning if he should go. I grip his tightly, holding him there.

"I was just getting used to having Ethan around." I blurt out. I take a frustrated breath, "I mean, I always knew you loved him Alec." I explain, my eyes softening a little but still focused on him. "I even understand. Ethan has always been there for you, longer than I have. You loving him makes sense. You marrying him is where I am having a hard time. You realize your in-laws . . ."

"Are my worst enemy." He finishes, for me. "I know."

"What the hell possessed you to do this?" I ask my shock wearing off and anger filling the void.

"Despite my best efforts, I can't stop loving a man for the sins of his family." Alec answers, defusing me and making me feel like an asshole. "I married Ethan, Clayton, not his family."

"Does this change anything?"

"That is mostly up to you Clayton. But yes, there are some things."

"Such as?"

"Monogamy with the occasional rare exception."

And the hits just keep on coming. "Angel?"

"Come now Clayton we haven't for years. Besides, I don't think your husband is the sharing type either." Mike rolls his eyes, I ignore him. Admittedly not a conversation we have had, not the time to have it.

"Anything else? More specifically what this means for your safety?"

"He is protected, you all are." Ethan answers.

"Assuming our marriage is approved." Alec corrects, flashing an annoying glance at Ethan before turning his attention back to me, "If we are disowned then none of us are. But that could prove to be an up side since you hate the family." Alec smiles, squeezing my hand.

"Approved?"

"Let me worry about that." Ethan shrugs.

I glare at Alec, expecting an answer from him. "The four have to accept me as family. It won't be easy, Sebastien and Pricilla hate me. Lance will be jealous as hell. Que will be annoyed. To be honest I don't care anymore. I am sick of fearing them. They want to come after us fine, we'll deal."

Ethan puts his elbows on the table and tangles his hands in his hair. "I swear to you all I will not let him maintain this reckless behavior. I will take care of my family, no one is going to get hurt."

For the first time since I hear the news, I turn to Ethan. "You are not taking him away! Not for anyone's protection or any other reason!"

Ethan raises his head, "From my understanding the only way Alec is leaving your life is if you ask him to, Clayton. Are you accepting this? Are we good?"

I turn my attention to Mike. "How do you feel about this?"

"I support whichever decision you make Clay. This is between you and Alec."

I turn my attention back to Alec, he squeezes my hand. "What do you want to do Clayton?"

I take a deep breath and let go of his hand. I can hear the gasp come from his mouth. He watches me stand up and Ethan's eyes turn angry. Alec takes his hand, shakes his head and stands to go. "Leave this house and I will kick your ass Impavido." I call over my shoulder. I search through a drawer in the kitchen until I find what I am looking for. I then walk up to Alec, take his scarred hand and surprise him with the sharp blade digging into his flesh. He hisses and stares at me in shock as he watches me re-injure my old scar. I grab my hand in his, "I vow that I will always have you in my life, both here and whatever is next, forever."

He jerks me into him and wraps his free arm around me, he recites the vow in my ear for only me to hear. " . . . Forever."

He proceeds to hug me so tightly it hurts. "Heart surgery." I gasp causing him to release me instantly.

"Sorry."

"It's alright." I answer, taking my bloody hand away from his. I look up to find Mike had gotten us both towels. "Thanks baby." He nods.

"So is this wedding vowel renewal thing going to be a double ceremony then?" Mike asks "If so I need to re-arrange the guest list."

"Oh I forgot about that." Alec mutters.

"My broken hearted best man forgot that I am throwing a party so he can be the best man, forgot?" I tease, lightening the mood immensely.

"Sorry."

"Yes, Mike it is a double ceremony." I answer my husband.

Ethan grabs Mike by the shoulder. "About that guest list, I want to add someone to it."

"Who?" Alec asks.

"Our parents." Ethan answers quietly.

"Your parents?" Alec asks.

"And yours."

"It's too dangerous." Alec dismisses walking away, heading to my backyard.

"He has come a long way in a short time Ethan. I would be careful about pushing him too far." I warn.

"I haven't pushed him on anything else. He has been pushing me." Ethan defends.

"Still, his parents." I frown. "I met him the day he last spoke to them. They really fuck him up Ethan. Be careful."

"Yeah, mine aren't the greatest in the world either." Ethan sighs. "But they have nothing to do with the family you hate. I am Lance's cousin. My parents were never the type that Que's father wanted to share the dirty little secret with. I only know because Lance and I were friends growing up and he brought me to the dark side after Matt died."

"Matt. You've mentioned him before." I note.

"He is a long story, maybe one day I will share it." Ethan answers stepping away.

The moment he exits Mike is bombarding me with questions. "Are you okay? How is your blood pressure?" I roll my eyes and glare at him. "You're the one who got shot and managed two heart attacks after it. You can deal with the questions that are designed to prevent a third." He snaps impatiently.

"Truth?"

"I expect nothing less."

"Besides burying people I love, accepting this was by far one of the hardest things I have ever done."

"So why did you?"

I squeeze the towel in my injured hand. "I have a bad habit of asking the world of Alec. Sooner or later it was bound to bite me in the ass."

"He loves him."

"I know." I take Mike by the hand with my good one. "I am going to say something that seems a little uncouth, I rarely speak ill of the dead." Mike raises his eyebrow, "Daniel would have taken this as an opportunity to purge Alec from my life. And to be honest, I might have let him. Mike, what you just did, supporting me like that, you just proved I married the better man."

He doesn't say anything instead he kisses me, a little more hungry than I anticipate. I pull away. "I'm sorry." He says looking away.

"Mike, baby, what is in that head of yours?" I question, keeping him in my embrace so he can't walk away.

"You seem to be standing in a mind field of surprises Clay. If you don't blow off healthy steam soon, you are risking your heath. I think that justifies a pause." Mike shrugs.

"That is a very tempting offer." I reply dropping my lips down to the most sensitive spot on his neck.

"It's for your health Clay." he repeats, quivering in my arms. I proceed to drive him absolutely mad. His nails dig into my shoulders through my clothes when my teeth sink into him. My tongue flickers over his trapped skin, causing him to moan. I release him quickly then slap the mark causing him to curse a little. "Is that a yes?" he asks curiously.

"Maybe. Or it could be for no damn reason all." I smile.

"Fucking tease." He bitches.

I move to his ear and breathe heavily while I squeeze his hard cock through his pants, "There is more where that came from baby, promise." Before he can respond I stop my taunting and walk away, leaving him with a ragging hard on.

I make my way to my deck where Alec and Ethan are. Alec gives me a curious look but comprehension dawns when Mike appears with a bruised neck and watery eyes from dealing with blue balls. "Vampires." Alec bitches.

Trying to change the subject Ethan turns to me. "Your house smells like fresh paint."

"Yeah, part of the staging."

"Staging?" Alec asks.

"I'm selling it." I shrug. "Mike and I are looking for something decent because his place is . . . miniature."

Mike rolls his eyes at me. "I am not selling it. It is too close to the office to sell it."

"Didn't say you had to." I shrug.

"What happened to the dog?" Ethan asks, curiously. "B.J. wasn't it?"

"Tasha took him." Ethan looks at me like he can't place the name. "Daniel's sister."

"You know, there is this a house for sale in my gated community." Alec informs me casually. "I know how you are about safety and you liked the place so much you moved me there."

I raise an eyebrow at him then take notice of Mike and Ethan's expression. Both seem okay. "You want to stay there?" Pain filters in his eyes and I realize he doesn't want to leave Bobby's memories behind. "I mean the security there sucks, we were attacked there for after all. Alec I am serious, if you are staying, I am getting it re-vamped."

"I am sure the HOA would help out with that cost if you moved in." Alec shrugs.

"What about your place Ethan?"

"I won't miss it." He shrugs.

I turn my head to look out my backyard. For me there are too many memories here that I want to bury, the idea of holding onto them makes me ill.

"Is this it?" Mike asks Alec showing him his phone. Alec nods. Mike walks over to me. "Says here it has a pool, four bedrooms, three baths, three car garage." He puts his phone in my hand, "It's a two story."

"No basement." I note.

"This is Texas, houses don't normally come with basements. I am shocked that Alec has one."

"Half the damn thing is exposed." Alec defends. "It isn't like water levels are an issue. It's a half ass excuse of a two story. Shoved in a hill."

"The fact there is a hill is also amazing." Mike teases.

"Yeah okay you got me, but it's a shit poor excuse of a hill. You ask me, it's man made." Alec grips.

"Missing the mountains, Pet?" Ethan asks Alec.

My eyes widen at the nickname but I quickly correct myself. Studying the phone. "I like the pictures. Call the relator, get the disclosures. Tell her we will buy it sight unseen if they knock off twenty grand. Otherwise full inspections and lots of knit-picking will happen and no purchase guaranteed."

"Hard ball, got it." Mike shrugs.

I grab his arm. "You okay with this?"

"Yes, baby." He assures me with a kiss before stepping away to buy us a house.

I turn my back to the scenery for a moment before turning to my friends. I notice Ethan and Alec holding hands. Alec's collar hits the light just right and reflects a sharp glare in my direction. I take a few breathes, still trying to get comfortable with this. "This isn't grief right?"

"Selling your house?" Alec asks. "You always tell me not to shrink you Clayton." I give him a glare, he shrugs it off. "If you are asking my professional opinion, I think moving is quite healthy. You and Daniel have a lot of memories here and you chose to move on before his death." I wasn't expecting that response and I am sure my face shows it. "You know if you ever want to talk, I am here for you."

"Thanks." I reply, turning away from his stare. I really don't want to start talking about Daniel.

"Seriously Clayton if not with me, with someone okay. I know you moved on with Mike but suppressing your feelings about Daniel's death isn't healthy."

"Thanks." I reply again a little more sternly, making sure he knew to drop it. "Same for you, with Bobby."

His eyes meet mine. "Thanks." He leans forward and fidgets with the dishtowel on his hand. "This isn't grief for me Clayton."

"Long as you are sure." I reply causing Ethan's eyes to narrow. "Sorry, this marriage just feels rushed."

"Not from where I am sitting." Ethan argues while Alec gives me a look who's talking expression.

I bite my tongue, not wanting to push it anymore. I don't know how to say what I am trying to say without pissing them off and to be honest I would rather say it without Ethan around. Reluctantly, I change the subject. "Have you thought about what you are going to say to Faith? I'll be there if you want me to be." I offer.

"I appreciate that." Alec smiles, relaxing a little.

I give him a look of concern, "Faith is going to feel betrayed."

"I know." Alec responds, "But if her and Dale can't deal, they can't deal."

"Just like that?" I ask.

Alec gets out of answering my question because Mike walks up. "Looks like we got ourselves a house."

"Yeah, moving." I reply sarcastically.

"Moving my ass!" Mike laughs, "What will you keep, your clothes if that? Shopping is more like it. Lots of shopping."

"True." I admit. "Hey if you don't have plans, I would really like to take you two out to celebrate."

"I appreciate the offer Clayton but we can't do tonight. Actually, I was hoping we could borrow your plane again?"

"What for?" I ask cautiously.

"We are going to New York." Alec answers, "tonight."

"Seriously?" I frown.

"There are three of us left in Angels of Justices, Clayton. Everyone else is dead." Alec points out.

"I am not going to support you doing something stupid and making me go to another damn funeral!" I dismiss angrily.

"Trust me, I am not risking my life. I have a very valuable piece of information that took me a long time to realize. And it is time Que and I had a talk."

"Have you remembered then? What happened when you were a teenager?"

"No, but it is another reason why I need to talk to him. What I have is more of the blackmail variety."

"That is dangerous." I glare.

"If I do nothing, it is only a matter of time before you, Mike and myself wind up dead."

"So you approach our enemy?" I ask astonished.

"Sitting right here." Ethan snarks.

"Need I remind you, you just attempted to do this very same thing except I am telling you ahead of time." Alec glares.

"That's different. Que never claimed to own me." I argue.

"No, but had he shown up you risked that very fate." Ethan reminds me.

"Says the man who sent him on the mission." Mike jumps in.

"Stop!" Alec yells, taking a calming breath before he speaks again. "I don't need to remind anyone, they are not the one's killing us off. I'm going to accept Que's truce and then I am going to ask for his help." He informs us, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "I didn't marry Ethan for this reason, but it doesn't hurt. I need all of you to trust me, deeply trust me that I am making the right call to keep us all alive."

"If I had died from that bullet, would there have been a truce?" I challenge.

"I would have killed Que and anyone who tried to stand in my way with my bare fucking hands." Alec answers angrily. "But we survived and this has turned into something more dangerous and deadly. I know you hate The Quattro, Clayton. I despise them. But they are the ones who can put a meaningful dent if not force a collapse of The Dolore. If you want to avenge all our friends' senseless deaths, we have no choice but to make this alliance."

I snap my head to Ethan, "Promise me this isn't a suicide mission."

"It isn't." Ethan replies. "He's not a slave Clayton, he's family."

"If you go incommunicado on me I am coming to get you." I warn.

"You worry too much." He bitches.

"No, he doesn't." Mike responds. "I've got something in my our car I want you to take. It will help you get Que's cooperation."

"What the hell would that be?" Ethan asks.

Mike looks at me, then back to Ethan with a shrug, "Just a recording device. Something Chloe gave me once, in case there was ever a need." I look at Mike curiously for a moment, half wondering if he knew who Chloe really was, or if she simply forced her protection on him without him being the wiser.

"You are kidding right?" Alec frowns. "That is extremely dangerous!"

"No, it's necessary." Mike frowns. "Trust me, it's easily hidden. And it will give you an advantage."

Alec turns to Ethan. Ethan shrugs, "Wouldn't hurt."

"You should be going, if you want to make it to New York by a decent hour tonight." Mike replies. "Ethan, let me get you that device."

"Yeah okay." Ethan replies, studying me for a moment. "I really want a friendship with you Clayton, but in order for that to happen you have to learn to separate me from The Quattro and remember that I would do anything for our Alec." I don't answer and he nods at me before walking away.

"You sure about this?" I question Alec, standing up.

"Yes." He answers, getting to his feet and pulling me into a hug. "I'll be back before you know it."

I pull away and kiss him softly on the lips. "You better be." I warn.

"It is magnificent to see you on your feet again Clayton." I smile. "You know I am here for you Angel, no matter what? When I get back, we're going to talk okay."

"That we are." I agree.

"I love you," he whispers, "And before you ask me a hundred times, yes I am sure about marrying Ethan." He pulls away.

"You know me well Master." I reply my eyes piercing into his. "I am still requesting to be your submissive." I add, causing him to straighten a little in my arms. "I need you Master."

"We will talk when I get back." He promises.

I rest my head onto his shoulder, holding him a little tighter. "Thank you."

"I have to go Clayton, I'll see you soon." I let him go, watching him take the stairs off my deck and turning the corner to my front yard.

Agitated already I walk into the house and find Mike. "You still willing to do that whole pause thing?"

"I am."

"Good. Let's fuck."


	43. New York

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **New York**

 **Alec's Point of View**

Getting on the plane did not help headache. I have to admit, I have never liked flying. Even in a personal jet. The idea of being a mile above the ground in a small cage of steel is simply not comforting. Turbulence always messes with my head. Simply put I am a bad flyer. Ethan didn't realize this last time because I had us both too distracted for me to really think about it. Tonight was different.

"You don't need to be this nervous Pet." Ethan frowns, "you are not a slave being punished."

"I am not nervous about seeing your cousins." I frown. "I just don't like to fly."

"You've flown with me before, why haven't I noticed this?"

"Because I was usually worried about seeing your cousins, or too exhausted from seeing your cousins." I shrug, "Or I was sucking your face and proposing."

"It's a short flight, we will be there soon." He promises.

"Short my ass. We are flying halfway across the country."

"Better than coast to coast." He points out. "Try to sleep. Please." He turns off the cabin lights and I climb into his arms, trying not to think about why I was on a plane in the middle of the night.

"I can't sleep." I sigh, cuddling into him. "My head is too full."

"What's got your brain, Pet?" he asks, turning the light back on.

"My friends were undercover federal agents. They have been in my life for years, and if they were protecting me, you know they were protecting Clayton, Bobby, and Daniel." I turn my eyes onto him. "Federal agents were watching us and I get poisoned, Clayton is shot, not to mention tortured saving Daniel and Mike from a crazed kidnapper. But then they manage to get themselves killed and suddenly everyone is dying. I can't keep them safe Ethan. I have to ask someone I despise, for help because I can't keep anyone safe."

"But you are love. You are not letting your pride get the best of you. You are about to do one of the most selfless things I've ever witnessed."

"What if they say no?"

"They won't, you're family now."

"This is not why I married you." I reply.

"I know." He smiles, "You need to sleep Alec, this isn't going to be easy."

"Clayton wasn't easy. I was so scared I lost him. And I am so pissed off at Mike." I add angrily.

Ethan sighs. "I understand you anger." He kisses my forehead. "You didn't lose Clayton and Mike, well you can focus on that later. Right now we need you to sleep so you can focus on what we are about to do."

"Yeah I am going to ask Que to find Issac and Xzavier and . . ." I frown. "Bring them to justice."

Ethan doesn't speak my unspoken fear that Que's version of justice will simply be murder. "You can't be sure Isaac is a part of the Dolore, Alec." Ethan frowns, then after seeing my facial expression adds, "Okay, the odds of him being a normal guy is slim. But killing your Angels could have been Xzavier's doing. He was responsible for everyone else's deaths."

"I know." I frown. "I plan on getting answers Ethan.

"Not tonight, tonight you need rest." Ethan encourages, shutting off the light again, holding me in the dark. I can't sleep but he does. Still I find comfort in laying in his protective arms. For a little while everything seems fine. That is until we land and the reality of being in New York hits me. Twenty uneasy minutes after we rent our car I find myself standing at Que Malocchio's front door. I give Ethan a half smile, laughing humorlessly. "I've never been here before."

"Then prepare yourself. You are going to hate it." He warns, ringing the doorbell.

"Do you think he knows? About us?"

"Yes." Ethan answers, "Trust me, he is expecting us."

When to door it answered, I tense, "Tyriess." My eyes sweep over his naked body and half wonder if the man has aged a day.

"Jack!" he smiles in surprise. "Ethan. My Sir is expecting you."

"Figured he would be." Ethan replies calmly.

"Please, come in." Tyriess invites. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No."

"Water." Ethan answers, causing Tyriess to walk away. "Thought you never been here."

"Been to the club. Tyriess was on of Que's recruiters."

"Oh he is more than that. He's Que's everything."

Tyriess walks back into the room, hands Ethan a bottle of water and escorts us to a billiard room. Ethan hops on a stool and waits. I look around the room and frown, if I thought I was taken aback by Tyriess answering the door naked, then I was sorely mistaken. My eyes count eleven men caged all gagged and bound in different positions around this room. Ethan must have followed my gaze, or read my body language or something because he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into him. "This is what Lance and I saved you from. We can't save them all Alec, but we were able to save you." I shiver in his arms. "Breathe Pet, we won't stay longer than necessary."

No sooner did those words leave his lips did Que Malocchio walk through the door. "Ethan?" Que questions. "What has your slave done to deserve a visit here? More or less at this obscene hour?"

"You know full well he is not my slave Que." Ethan answers, annoyed.

"Ah, yes. I do believe I received an e-mail about a marriage and your name changing. I do say, I found it a rather interesting read. Especially since nothing of this topic has ever been brought to my attention. I thought they were misinformed. That is until you show up hear on the third week of me getting the notice."

"I won't deny it was an unexpected turn of events." Ethan replies. "But I have the right to marry who I chose."

"You do yes, congrats on getting married I am happy for you." Que replies, turning to me, "Alec on the other hand. . ."

"I freed him."

"You freed him?" Que asks, in a disapproving tone and raised eyebrow.

"It was in my right. I was never denied the ability to free him, just warned of the consequences of doing it." Ethan shrugs. I watch several men adjust in their cages around us, as if they were uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Consequences that seemed to be conveniently side stepped with this marriage." Que notes.

"That wasn't my intent. Ethan had no idea why I asked him for my freedom." I respond, causing Que to look at me. Ethan closes his eyes, he has always hated that I have never been afraid to speak in Que's presence, even when I wasn't addressed by him.

"You just asked?"

"I always knew all I ever had to do was ask." I answer confidently.

"Then you must know marrying him keeps you protected."

"From who? Pricilla? Because I am pretty sure she tried to kill me, despite me being a protective slave."

Que raises his hand to smack my smart mouth, but Ethan grabs it firmly. Que looks at him bewildered, remembers why Ethan and I are here and jerks his hand free, lowering it to his side. He steps away flexing is fist. I take a satisfied breath until he calls for Tyriess and slaps him hard across the mouth, causing me to cringe. Que catches my reaction.

"Have you ever heard of a whipping boy Alec?" Que asks. "I may not be able to slap your smart mouth but I am more than free to touch my own property. Keep it up, Tyriess can handle much more than me backhanding him."

Frustrated I turn my back to him, causing Ethan to wrap his arms around me. "Temper Pet." He whispers in my ear. "Relax, remember why we are here. Don't piss him off." I take a few more calming breathes before I turn back around staying in the safety of Ethan's arms.

"You!" Que growls pointing at Ethan, "There are over seven billion people on this planet and you have to marry the most defiant, pain in the ass slave we have ever come across and not killed!"

"I am not a slave! This wasn't about protection I supposedly had. This isn't about status. This is about love. We didn't need to get married, we wanted to." I snap back angrily.

"You have a bad habit of answering questions that aren't addressed to you." Que snarls, hitting Tyriess in the stomach, causing his knees to buckle. I clinch my teeth. Que stares at Ethan, waiting for a response.

"I haven't felt this way since Matt." Ethan answers calmly, "I didn't think I could ever feel this way again."

Que takes a moment to digest that before he points his finger at me. "You, I don't even know where to start with you." he seethes me, "First you are head over heels from Lance and deathly heart broken when he lets you go that you almost kill yourself. But you hate him enough to send him to prison! Then you have feelings you won't allow yourself with Ethan. Only to fall in love with some famous music brat that breaks your heart. In which you bounce back with a co-worker who winds up dead. Neither of which you chose to marry by the way. Then you surround yourself with the familiarity of my cousin and randomly marry him."

"You should give your spies a raise." I reply dryly. He is amused with my response and leaves Tyriess alone . . . this time. "I'm sorry Que, if there is a question in there I don't know what it is."

"How the hell am I supposed to trust this? You of all brats should know Lance is not going to take this well. How the hell am I to say this is okay when you fall in love so damn easily and move on so damn often?"

"You insult me!" I growl. "Lance isn't a fair comparison, he mind fucked me. Ethan. Ethan knew that if I stayed after college I would always question if it was a mind fuck. Clayton, I've never stopped loving that man and I never will. Same with Bobby and his murderer better fear me and go to hell before I put him there myself." I swallow hard, taking a few slow breaths. "I know this is not a mind fuck. And I am not fucking with Ethan's. I wanted this, he wanted this. This is real."

"Real?" Que challenges, "The man bought you and you are calling it real?"

"I can't change how we met. I can't deny I hate it. But I remember it. Lance was being cruel and Ethan and I exchanged a look. Just one look, and I knew, there was a shift. The moment was fleeting but he immediately stood up to Lance. When I thanked him, he resisted me. Then we started resisting each other. But that was our own denial because in reality, we were healing each other. He's turned into my best friend, my Master, my husband. We are happy. We complete each other."

"Do you have anything to add?" Que asks Ethan, glaring at me to dare to speak. Ethan shakes his head no, pulling me closer to him. "Have you thought about what you want to say to Lance?"

"I'll take care of Lance."

"Oh that is going to go over like lead." Que bitches. "Of all the damn people you fall in love with Ethan."

"I know." Ethan agrees. "I am hoping Lance's jealousy brings Sebastien in our favor. I know Pricilla won't approve on principle. But it is majority vote, yes?"

"Majority vote?" Que questions. "You act as if this happens all the time." He glares at Ethan. "I assure you, it doesn't."

"You never thought about marrying Tyriess?" I question aloud.

"No." Que answers stubbornly.

"Then you are a fool." I shrug, with a smile. "Look at him, he is madly in love with you and you would not keep him around if you didn't feel the same."

Que studies me for a moment then says in all seriousness, "I can never decide if I like you or hate you."

"Please Quinten." Ethan pleads. "We need your support and your brothers."

"Why are you here? You changed your name. You obviously don't give a shit what we have to say about this."

"Alec has given enough to this family." Ethan answers softly. "I love him Que, I don't want him vulnerable. I would never forgive anyone if something happened to him. Please."

"Does he even realize what you are asking of him Ethan?"

"Standing right here." I reply annoyed.

"Well do you? Has he explained what it means to have my family's approval?" Que asks me. "Look around Alec, you are betraying every slave's last shred of pride and dignity in this room." I take a deep breath, standing tall, squeezing Ethan's hands that are firmly wrapped around me in a safe cocoon. "You are asking to become a respectable member of this family. You know our secrets and you will swear to keep them. Your loyalty will be to this family. You will happily die protecting us. No longer will you send us off to prison. Instead you will get on the witness stand and vouch for our character, or simply help it all go away. Your enemies will be those my family considers enemies, even if that means you once viewed them as your friends." Suddenly I don't feel so brave. Que notices me flinch. "Think about it. If your moral righteous self can live with it, then it is your responsibility to get Lance and Sebastien to support you. If you manage that, then I will do the same." He turns to Tyriess, "Make up a private guest room for the newly weds, they need their sleep. They have a lot to consider."

"As you wish Sir." Tyriess answers, turning to us as Que leaves the billiard room. "Come, your room is this way." We follow Tyriess down several hallways before he opens a door and turns on a light. He walks in and turns down the comforter.

"Tyriess." He turns to me, his eyes cast downward. "Tyriess, I am sorry."

"My Sir's family has no need to ever apologize to me." He responds bitterly.

"Tyriess." I answer, feeling worse.

"If there is nothing else?" he replies curtly.

"No, there isn't." Ethan assures him squeezing my arm. Tyriess turns on his heel quickly and leaves us alone. "Careful Pet, we are being watched." Ethan warns me with a soft whisper in my ear. I close my eyes feeling defeated. They won. After all my resistance, they won. Approval or not, I am a family member of my worst enemy. The thought makes my stomach twist and my knees get weak. Ethan is expecting it. He holds me up by my arms and sits me down on the bed. I cringe at it and toss the freshly folded covers back up. Ethan gives me a weak smile in understanding and lays us down on top of the comforter and pulls me into him. I can't stop the tears from coming, but I have learned long ago how to let them fall in silence. "Pet." Ethan whispers, but I simply shake my head. I don't want to talk.

We lay there together. I can't sleep. Ethan eventually passes out and I gingerly sneak out of his arms. I walk in the dark and find the door and open it quietly. I am not surprised to find someone standing guard. "Tell Que I want to talk to him alone." The guard doesn't respond. "Fine, I will just roam these halls until I find him and wake his ass up myself." I bitch walking past them. The guard hesitates for a moment and then starts to follow me. He then takes a slight jog to get in front of me and stops, blocking my way. "Out of my way, slave." I respond coldly; hating it, but knowing it was the only way this guy was going to respond. He takes a step to the left and lets me pass. This time he doesn't follow. I start to roam the halls and find myself in a large over decorated room. I am annoyed, what I thought was just a small brick house turns out to be a series of connected townhouses.

"Lost?" Tyriess asks me.

"Loaded question." I respond.

"You were when I first met you." Tyriess replies.

"You were the rabbit's watch, pointing me in the wrong direction."

"Wasn't so wrong, it led you to your husband." Tyriess shrugs. "Sit, my Sir is expecting you."

"I have always been curious. Are you with him willfully like you led me to believe?"

"You and I have similar stories when it comes to our teenage years." Tyriess answers, "The difference is I sought this life out. I wanted to submit, not necessarily to true slavery, but I was too naïve to fully understand what was being offered. By the time I understood, there was no changing my mind. Still, like you I am lucky. My Sir took a liking to me at the club. He was always honest and has always treated me well. Not as well as you of course, there are a lot of dark moments when Sir is unhappy with me, but I have learned to be his good boy."

"And those eleven other souls in that billiard room?"

"They are examples of what could have happened to you and I, had we not been favored."

"And not one of them sought out Que did they?"

"They were bought, or tricked, just as we were."

"You know the man you serve is a part of human trafficking and you chose to stay?"

"Are you honestly that stupid?" I raise an eyebrow to him. "I don't have a choice, none of us do. And the one slave who earns his unspeakable freedom not only surrendered his unheard of freedom but married into the family! You are a disgrace to all of us!"

"That is enough!" Que snaps, causing Tyriess to jump.

"It's my fault, I was asking him questions." I defend.

"He insulted his Sir's family. He knows he will be punished appropriately." Que seethes.

"I heard no insult." I argue, causing Que to snap his head to me. "Your slave was very respectful."

"Defending him are you?" Que asks, "Why am I not surprised?" He turns to Tyriess. "Go prepare the best looking slave for me. You will watch him pleasure your Sir from your cage tonight!" I go to protest but Que gives me a look that warns me to leave it alone. Tyriess gives him a slight bow and heads out, leaving me alone with someone I have always considered an enemy. "I hate going easy on a slave who is disrespectful." Que bitches at me.

"He was within his right, I am a traitor to every damn slave here."

"He is a slave. My slave." Que retorts. "He has no rights."

"He has more than most."

"Those are privileges." Que corrects. "And he is by far the most privileges slave in The Quattro, now." Que notes sitting down. "Two weeks ago, you were the one to hold that title."

"So I've heard." I frown, sitting down myself. "Care to explain that?"

"No." Que answers coldly. "Some things are better left unanswered."

"You're seriously not going to tell me?"

"The only reason I am talking to you about this is because I no longer own you!" Que seethes. He leans back into his chair. "To be honest, this marriage loophole you found surprised me. But you're family now, I have to protect you now more than ever."

"Protect me from what?" He shake his head, keeping silent. Annoyed, I change topic's, "Is Cassandra Lupa an alias for your sister, Pricilla Malocchio?"

He looks impressed by the question. "Very good Alec."

"She is out of control and crossing lines! Viscously attacking the protected with acid, poison, bullet wounds."

"Yet she has killed no one. Her actions have been rectified by me personally." Que responds. "I freed Faith as a peace offering and I expect you to leave my sister alone because of it. There no room to bargain here Alec. Either accept the truce or I will allow my sister to kill you. It is late, if there is nothing else." He stands to leave.

"Seriously Que, what the hell? Last Ethan knew Pricilla was in the wind." I bitch causing him to be irritated but he sits back down. "Besides, even if she is in this damn house you would have never given him what he wanted." Que doesn't deny my accusation. Keeping my eyes hard I direct the conversation in a new direction. "I am still confused as to why you believe we would help you."

"Because you are missing facts." Que replies.

"Facts? You have done nothing but torture me since you met me. And when I manage to rid myself of you and make a life of my own, all of it came tumbling around me. From my friends at Darkest Desires to Owen. I've lost so damn much. I am a target to The Dolore because I am protected by you! Why? Why not leave me the fuck alone?"

"They haven't touched you Alec because they can't get near you." Que points out, "The moment Ethan realized what Owen Young meant to you he paid a high price to put him under our family protection."

"Some family protection, Sebastien hurt Owen so badly." I reply fighting angry tears.

"To be fair, Ethan protected him after Sebastien pulled the bullshit stunt that he did to get under your skin." He glares, daring me to challenge that. "He paid a heavy price for what he did I assure you." I look away, "For what it is worth, it shouldn't have happened, I've always believed that." "Sebastien just . . ."

"Hates me." I reply dryly, gaining my composure.

"He has his reasons." Que frowns.

"Yeah, Lance." I reply bitterly. "Owen was like a brother to me. He was damn near killed in a car accident and taken away from me. Knowing his fate, I wish he would have died on the side of the road. He lost so much, and then to be victim of The Dolore."

"We tried. We thought he was safe in that hospital. If we would have realized the lengths they were willing to go to."

"Why? Damn it Que why am I so damn important?"

"I will tell you Alec, if ever the circumstance requires. But tonight, it is better you don't know."

I study his eyes. "Why protect me from it?"

"I have my reasons." He answers but his eyes aren't cold.

"Say I believe you. This entire time you knew Owen's fate and never said a word?"

"You were a slave. There was nothing to be gained to give you this knowledge. Besides, it would have given you opportunity to learn about The Dolore which is something I did not want you to know."

"What good that lack of knowledge did me." I frown.

"You have no idea." Que replies dangerously.

"You realize Owen's dead right. Did you even try to save him?"

"Of course we tried! Lost three damn people doing it." I fall silent, thinking of the kid I considered my younger brother and wishing I'd never met him. Had I not, his life would have been spared. "If it helps when we discovered his fate, we took our revenge."

"Do I want to know?"

He shrugs, "You helped. Went after someone important to The Dolore, got him locked up, I took care of the rest." I shake my head, yep could have done without that information. "Judge me all you want Alec, I believe in an eye for an eye." I give him a cold stare. "Do you have any more questions or are we done here?"

"Why am I not dead for hurting a family member?" I ask, curiously.

"If you mean Brad do not refer to that disloyal scum as family!" Que yells.

"Disloyal?" I repeat, confused again.

"The reason why I allowed you to live after that stunt of yours is because Brad had it coming for years. You did me a favor."

"I don't understand." I admit.

"When Pricilla was a kid she and Brad were damn near inseparable. She was a great kid until she turned into a teenager and started to date recklessly. I can't tell you the number of lectures I gave her about being cautious with whom she allows herself alone with. Our family is powerful and therefore, a target. But she met this guy and didn't tell us, she thought she was the one in control in that relationship. Even showed a display of our families power when her cousin's heart got broken." My eyes widen with this information, he is talking about Daniel and Xzavier. "But when her plan failed to bring Brad's boyfriend back into his arms … all three of them disappeared. You see her boyfriend was a part of The Dolore."

"Go on?" I shrug, knowing most of this already from Ethan.

"Xzavier forced Pricilla to marry him and he manipulated Brad. He encouraged Brad's obsession with his ex, Daniel Kingsley, while at the same time, bribing him with sexual favors and materialistic things to keep him loyal to The Dolore's instead of the Malocchio's where it belonged! Weak minded prick!" Que stops talking for a moment, trying to keep his temper. "He enslaved Pricilla and when he thought Brad's loyalty was wavering he would enslave him too. It took me years to discover my sister's fate! When I did, I went after The Dolore's but it was such a great cost I had to stop." He turns to me. "It took me buying Brad to get my sister back. When I did, I gave her anything she ever wanted on the condition she leave Brad alone. You and I both know how that worked out."

"Where is she now?"

"Safe and being well cared for. That bastard took her mind Alec. I can't change what she did to Clayton, Mike, Daniel or you. But I can offer you peace. Faith as my witness."

"While all of this is fascinating." I reply, trying to keep my wits about me. "Why would you want Angels of Justice to help you go after The Dolore's? You don't need us. Especially now that there is only three remaining."

"They are targeting you." Que replies. "Xzavier Spencer killed your precious Bobby."

I find myself having an instant migraine. "I know. He told us."

"Yes, I heard Clayton lived to tell the tale. Tell me, what price did he give for his life?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." I reply bitterly.

"I'm sure Xzavier took something, most likely his dignity."

"You are sick!" I accuse, not wanting to admit the truth to him. "I'm sick? How in the dark are you about your lover Alec?" Que asks, "What do you know of Bobby's past?"

"Not much." I admit.

"Obviously." Que bitches. "You know his parents were killed right?"

"Car accident." I confirm. "Drunk driver."

"Hit man." Que replies. "They were soldiers of the Dolore's and were trying to get out. Bobby and Xzavier were sent to live with another solider but they ended up divorcing. Bobby ran, he tried to get Xzavier to but his brother only seen rage. He went after the person he felt responsible for the divorce and killed her."

I close my eyes, refusing to cry in front of Que as the memory flashes through my brain. "Glory, he killed Glory." I clear my throat, looking at Que. "I put that together a while ago, but I didn't completely understand the why."

"Her name was Tara."

"I know." I smile, despite myself. "But she preferred Glory."

Que studies me for a moment. "You cared for her? Is that why you testified against him or was it to save your own skin?"

"I would gladly trade my life for hers to this day." I reply seriously. "Putting her murderer behind bars was the least I could do. Too bad it wasn't long enough."

"It should have been, but like us, the Dolore's are good at getting what they want when it comes to the court system. They managed to get Xzavier out on appeal because the key witness, was untraceable. It didn't come to my attention that the reason he walked out of prison was because I made it happen. Had I known, had you spoken about her to Lance, you would have testified to keep Xzavier where he belongs." He shakes his head angrily.

"I didn't trust Lance with her. Honestly, I trust very few with her memory." I frown. "She is by far the most important person of my life, even became the voice of my conscious."

Que sits up straighter in his chair, studying me. "You never cease to surprise me Alec." Que notes, shaking his head, "When Xzavier got out of jail he was sent to another family but Bobby was old enough to get out of the system. Bobby applied for custody of his brother and won. He tried everything he could to get Xzavier to walk away from the Dolore. It didn't work. The brothers damn near killed one another over Xzavier's loyalty. In the end Bobby was left for dead and Xzavier ran off. Bobby has been looking for him ever since."

"If that is true why was his research obsessed with the Quattro and not the Dolore?" I challenge.

"He wasn't obsessed with the Quattro Alec, he was obsessed with you."

"Why?"

"Because he was trying to put his brother back behind bars." Que shrugs.

"I want to be the last person on this Earth to believe this but I think Xzavier turned him back; otherwise Bobby would have told me. I would have helped him."

"He didn't go back to The Dolore. And if he did, he wasn't faithful to them. He died with the symbol "traitor" on his forehead, Alec. Give Bobby some credit."

"Why go back at all?" I ask.

"My theory, he was trying to protect you from his own brother. Xzavier wants you dead. He thought he killed you when he killed Tara. He only discovered he didn't at the trial. He hunted you for years but you didn't hit his radar until you started Angels of Justice. Which made his hate for you so much worse, because he realized not only are you by protected by us, you continue to imprison The Dolore."

"Why not just hand me over to him? Why not kill me yourself?"

"I have my reasons."

"This doesn't make sense. Bobby left a video stating that he thought Xzavier was a Quattro slave."

"Not a bad ruse is it? Pricilla being who she is, them both disappearing around the same time. Her coming back and Xzavier still a ghost. He put that there to protect you, to keep you from digging into the truth. He was was sending you straight to us, knowing we would protect you."

"How do you know all of this?"

"I have my sources. Not to mention I have spoken to both Bobby and Xzavier." Que shrugs. "The Angels went after someone Xzavier considers a friend. That is when you hit his radar. And when he discovered that the leader of the Angels was a life-long target who was a slave to the Quattro, and dating his brother … it was only a matter of time before death and destruction rained upon all of you."

"You set us up."

"I swear to you I didn't!" Que denies. "You are very precious property! Why would I set you up to be killed? I didn't know who the guy was. Had I, I would have never approved the hit. I can't fix this!"

"I am not your property!" I argue, furiously. "You can fix this Que. You can, you can give him what he wants."

"Over my dead body." Que seethes.

"He's already killing people over it." I shrug. "He will get to you eventually."

"Ethan may have mentioned something about more deaths." Que glares.

"Your hands off approach got my friends killed." I snarl, "All this effort to protect me and you put me at risk."

"You were not at risk. Ethan was ordered to take you away. Which he followed through on. Marrying you, was not part of the plan!"

I take a hard breath, "Do you know what gets me? The timing. My lover was killed days after Clayton and I were attacked. An attack neither of us remember except that there was more than one person there."

"Are you saying you believe my sister to be innocent?" Que asks.

"You obviously don't believe that otherwise you would have never freed Faith." I shrug. "Did she admit her guilt to you?"

"Yes." Que answers.

"I'm telling you Que, she didn't act alone."

"Do you have any idea what that implies? If Xzavier boosted about killing Bobby . . ." Que slams his fist on the table. "You are accusing my sister of treason!"

"I've said no such thing!" I argue, "You were the one who drew that conclusion."

"I will not hear anymore talk on this matter. It is closed. Forever, do you understand me?" he demands.

I raise my hands in surrender. "Xzavier is targeting my Angels. For that I want justice. That is the purpose of me wanting to speak with you tonight. I want to accept your truce. But I have more questions."

"You are beginning to wear my patience." He warns.

"Daniel's Kingsley was protected by this family."

Que goes from being angry, to being surprised. "Daniel told you?"

"Daniel told Bobby." I clarify, "Is this family responsible for his death?"

"I don't know." He answers truthfully.

"You don't know?" I challenge.

"You've known me for many years Alec, if you know anything about me it is I am not one for lies. I prefer to divulge cryptic truths instead. If I knew, my answer would be different." I stare him down waiting. "If you were still a slave . . ."

"I'm not." I respond firmly.

"Yes, I admit I am disappointed. Not because a conversation like this would have ensured your death but because I no longer have the right to touch you." I flinch. I know he is messing with me but I can't stop myself from the flash backs of past memories. "Hmm, you remember." He smiles, causing goosebumps on my skin. "Good, because I will never forget."

"Have you ever heard of Isaac Strattone?" I ask, trying to stay on track and not give him the satisfaction of ending this conversation with things that I cannot change.

"No." Que shrugs. "But if we are talking about my personal theories, it would make sense he was apart of The Dolore."

"Probably, but the question of the hour is, is Pricilla?"

"You have a death wish!" Que seethes.

"She's married to their leader Que, he could have brainwashed her."

"Even if she is, that is my concern and mine alone." Que replies, reaching out to me. It takes effort not to pull away as he grabs the lock on my collar, bringing me close to his face with the pretense of reading the inscription. He begins to twist the lock, causing the chain to start to chock me, "Pricilla is my full blooded sister Alec. I will protect her no matter the cost." He jerks me closer, near inches from his lips, our eyes are locked. "Do you understand?"

I give a strong nod and he lets me go. I back away quickly fixing my collar and straightening my shirt. If I feared him like he so desperately wanted me to. I would have ended the conversation but I do not fear him. I am gambling on something he isn't aware that I know. And he is about to find out that I have power over him. But I have to time it perfectly. I take a calming breath and watch as he starts to stand up. "You stated earlier that I would inherit your family's enemies if I my marriage is recognized."

"You would." He answers, pausing between sitting and standing.

"Does that not make my enemies, your enemies?"

"Assuming it isn't my family you seek." He replies carefully.

"Do you consider Xzavier Spencer-Miles your family?"

"Absolutely not." Que replies coldly.

"Then let's agree on this alliance you proposed."

He gives me a look of resistance. "Not when you believe my sister has a hand in this!"

"I understand your reluctance but do you honestly believe he is going to stop after he kills everyone I care about? He's going to come after you!"

"Let him try!"

"Here I thought you valued family."

"I do."

"Let's say we agree to this alliance, what then?"

"I want to chase them out of Texas."

"No good enough. You cut off one head and two more will take it's place."

"What do you expect me to do Alec?"

"Take down their leader and the empire will fall."

"You want me to wage full scale war on The Dolore? Do you have any idea what it cost last time?"

"Enlighten me."

"My father! My mother! Lance's mother! They died for nothing! We failed!"

"Aren't you the one who tells me vengeance is best served cold?"

"You think we haven't tried? Don't insult me! Why do you think I allowed the Angels of Justice in the first place?"

"Why am I not surprised you risked my life?"

"You weren't family! You were a slave! I could have pulled you to safety anytime!" Que shakes his head, "I can give you more intel on The Dolore than your fed friend dare to dream of."

"Fed friend?" I flinch.

Que rolls his eyes, "Pricilla is a very smart woman. I would not suggest underestimating her. Why do you think Mike walked away from his torture and Sebastien didn't kill Chloe when he had the chance?"

"Information is not good enough." I reply dryly, getting back on track.

"What is good enough Alec?"

"She's your sister, she deserves her brothers fighting for her honor." I lean forward, "She is a twisted bitch Que, don't tell me she doesn't know how to strike them where it hurts."

"She won't be used as bait!"

"Doesn't mean she can't help."

"You realize even if we manage to neutralize Xzavier, another will take his place!" Que argues. "Think Alec, no matter how we attack them, they will only get stronger and angier."

"Not if we neutralize The Dolore as a whole."

"And how are we supposed to do that?"

I hesitate, I hate this plan but it really is the only way. "By making you King."

Que's eyes flash and he sits back in his chair. "If I did that I would have to be ruthless, people would die." Que responds, testing my resolve.

"People are already dying. They spilt the first blood Que. You are simply spilling the last!" I stare him in the eyes, "Don't tell me no one has ever died defying you."

"Oh plenty have." He dismisses. "I am just surprised you of all people are encouraging it."

"There is a price."

"Yes, there would be." He responds dangerously.

"Me and all mine are left to live in peace. Protected."

"Of course." Que shrugs, "this is already set in stone. But you are asking me to destroy your enemy, that come at a price!"

"No."

"You are in no position to tell me no Alec."

"But I am." I argue, "At the end of the day she is your sister. Once we are gone and all that remains is family you actually like . . . how many will die fore he gets what he wants? What will he do to her once he gets her back?" Que clenches his fists. "You are banking on my thirst for justice. I am offering you power to get it. I owe you nothing!"

"Power your fed friend plans on taking away the moment I have it!"

"My loyalty isn't with the federal government."

"You want me to believe your loyalty lies with this family?" He asks amused.

"I was angry with Lance but I never turned on the Quattro." I remind him.

"Because you fear!" I can't deny that. "You need an incentive to stay loyal, to keep your fed friend in the dark."

"His life is incentive enough!"

"It won't be enough Alec. You will turn on me in time."

"I don't have anything to give you Que, except my word."

"But you do." He argues.

"We will fight side by side, even after this is over. You will be my enforcer."

"I won't kill for you!"

"You already have." He argues.

"I've never killed a soul!"

"We can keep our current arrangement. You send them to prison. I'll arranged the rest." I feel ill. He smiles at my discomfort. "Say I do go along with your plan, any suggestions as to how?"

"Give him what he wants." I shrug.

"I will not hand over my sister!" Que yells.

"Not her, me."

"You really do have a death wish don't you?" Que replies annoyed. "You have no idea what the hell you are saying."

"I don't have a death wish." I argue. "There are conditions."

"Such as?"

"I will become an honored member of this family Que. This petty bullshit of family bickering ends. Sebastien gets over this damn jealous feud that I know you have grown tired of ages ago and Pricilla gets over Brad. Instead we concentrate our efforts on real problems."

"Pricilla get over Brad?" he asks in a doubtful tone, staying seated.

"I didn't murder that son of a bitch. I wanted to but I kept my control. He got an ass kicking he deserved, but I didn't kill him.

He shakes his head. "I am not convinced you are grasping what it means to have my family's blessing." He puts his finger on the table. "You would be taking a blood oath Alec, it's binding and if broken I will kill everyone you love while you watch and then I will kill you very slowly, while your husband bleeds to death. I am a sucker for romance Alec, I will do my very best to make sure you both take your last painful breaths together."

"My vendetta is against The Dolore." I reply angrily, "I will do whatever it takes to bring them down, including joining this family so I can scatter them into a million pieces. If that means I take a blood oath and betray every slave that has ever suffered under this family, fine. It's a small price to pay to save and get revenge for my family."

Que slams his hands hard onto the table, standing up so abruptly, I pull back into my seat.

"If you are using Ethan!"

I raise my hands in surrender, keeping a calm voice, "I have never lied to Ethan about my feelings. I just haven't been forthcoming as to why I am willing to be a member of his family." I put my hands back on the table. "Besides, he has always known I will do anything to bring Bobby's murderer to justice."

"Anything else?"

"I want your word that anyone who is a part of or associated with Angels of Justice's will be protected for life – that includes their families and friends." I think about that and add. "Except the moles or those who turn out to be my enemies."

"You realize that includes a federal agent right?" Que bitches.

"Do we have a deal or not?"

Que shrugs. "I'm sorry Alec but I cannot agree to bring down The Dolore with you when you are friends with a fed!"

"Problem solved." I growl sliding device across the table. He stops it from falling to the floor with the slight move of his hand. "If you will not help me with my enemies, then Angels of Justices will bring your glorious empire crashing down at your feet."

"You can try!"

"Already done." I smile. "I just have to say the word. You see that device you are holding easily hacked into all your security the moment I walked into your house. It's been broadcasting every video, every conversation to a team of federal agents." Ques eyes flash and the blood drains from his face. "Luckily for you, you are not my target. However, saying no to me gives you an opportunity to get in my way. And if you get in my way, I will take you down."

"I want full immunity." He replies. "For me, my brothers and my sister."

"No deal!" I growl. "No one gets shit until I get Xzavier and anyone else responsible for the murder of my friends. Then and only then can the innocents of that crime bargain their freedom. Hell I'll even sit as a character witness to those who are not responsible." Que meets my eyes. "Don't look so worried, Que. You are innocent right?"

"You are a very good chess player Alec, seems you have me at check."

"You sound surprised Que. After all these years of trying to keep me at your feet." I smile, oh this power trip feels good, "You know what I think? I think you recognized my power a long time ago and feared it. As you should have. After all, I am an arrogant little prick who just walked into your house to not only receive your blessing on my marriage, but to guarantee the safety of myself, my family and my friends. And then I add a cherry. I'm in control."

"You give yourself too much credit." Que glowers. "I can easily change my mind and have you killed."

I smile. "Oh Que, you were never going to kill me. You love Lance too much for that. Tell me, how hard is it for the both of you when Lance takes on a new slave so that Sebastien doesn't figure out your in love with each other?"

I look at him knowingly, watching his eyes widen. "That is a wild, unfounded accusation!"

I just shake my head in disagreement, keeping my calm demeanor. "Remember those group sessions Lance and I had with you and Tyriess? Tyriess is good at hiding his emotions Que but not that good. He has always been jealous of Lance, especially when you touched him." I give a humorless laugh, "I used to think it was all in my head. But it isn't is it? I mean, I am alive after all despite half the Quattro wanting me dead. Hell your own damn sister doesn't understand your reluctance so she tried to kill me herself. Did you make her think you are in love with me so that she would tell you the name of the poison destroying me from the inside out?" His shock has subsided to anger and his hands ball into fists. "I did the math here Que. You were the deciding factor that saved my life, two of your three siblings were against me."

"You know nothing!" Que seethes.

"I know it only took a look, or perhaps a touch from Lance for you to save my life." I reply keeping calm as he gets angrier, "I also know it isn't the first time you have done it. You have a trend with siding with Lance, especially when it involves his heart. But you are careful to hide your support with personal punishments to him. Tell me, what price did he pay for you to go against your brother's and sister's wishes? Better yet, tell me how you made it up to him when Sebastien and Pricilla weren't around."

"That is enough Alec!" Que orders, trying to keep his voice steady, despite his anger. "There are things you don't understand. This is very dangerous territory you are walking in and if you are not careful it has the potential of putting Pricilla in charge and you and everyone you love, including Ethan, will all be buried in shallow graves." He sits back in his chair and visually relaxes. "Believe me, ask Lance yourself if you would like. It is in your best interest, not to air my dirty laundry." He smiles at me, "Check."

"Nice try." I smile back at him, "Say you are not lying but even if Sebastien found out, he would never tell Pricilla."

"Are you willing to bet lives on that?" he challenges.

"Yes." I answer, nodding, "You forget, I spend time with Faith. Sebastien would never willingly do a damn thing that would force him to submit to a woman…ever. Even if it would give him personal gain. But if he were to find out…well that just seems really messy for you and Lance. I mean it's common knowledge amongst family that Sebastien has a temper, especially when he is jealous." I grin at him, "Tell me, how much of that rage would he inflict on Lance? How miserable would he make him? How miserable would he make you? Would you be forced to watch?"

"Enough!" Que growls slamming his hands on the table, his anger boiling again.

I silence myself and give him a moment to calm down before I speak again. When he does, I lean forward in my chair. "You will help me with my vendetta. You will get Sebastien and Lance on board. And after that, well I'm sure I will think of something."

Que's eyes flare. "This is blackmail."

"No, this is business." I reply confidently, "For the record Que, I'm not a good chess player; I'm an excellent one." I stand up from my chair and bend down over the table to get very close to his face, "Checkmate."

I leave the room feeling his angry eyes boring into my back, fully aware he is playing multiple scenarios of my death in his head while he sits there and accepts that the tables had finally turned and I have all the power. He knows it too, because he was holding it in his hand. I had left my hacking technology with Que because I wanted him to take it apart and realize I was not bluffing. I am not worried about him destroying it because it is not the only one I brought with me. The other is much more covert and safely secured to the lock of my collar.

When I get back into the room I find my husband still fast asleep. Exhausted, I lay down in bed and try not to stir Ethan too much. I close my eyes and think of Bobby. I love him with my soul and if that is what it takes to avenge him, that is the price I am more than willing to pay.

I don't sleep well. Faces of the dead haunted my dreams. I am waken abruptly by Ethan who frowns and tells me I was having a nightmare. It takes me a moment to realize where I am. When I remember I frown.

"I don't want to sleep anymore."

"We don't have to." He whispers.

I kiss him and then I drop my head between the crook of his neck and shoulder. "Don't react." I warn, kissing his neck, causing him to tense. "It's done, Que is on our side., we are going after The Dolore."

He moans, forces a smile and flips us on the bed, kissing my neck. "Good Pet, I'm proud of you."

I grip his hair and pull him up, kissing him on the face until he meets my eyes. "I love you." I respond loudly with a smile, not bothering to hide from any potential eavesdroppers, human or otherwise. He doesn't say it back, he tries to hide the doubt in his eyes by kissing me. We make out for a few moments before we causally turn back so Ethan is lying on the mattress and my lips can be hidden while I speak softly into his ear. "I'm serious I don't want you feeling used. My actions come from love, for not only you but those who are or were a part of Angels of Justices." He moans, for the eavesdroppers. "Ethan Impavdio if I ever find you questioning my love for you. I will kick your ass." I warn, lifting my head up and showing him the seriousness in my eyes. I kiss his lips softly. "Yours." I whisper on them before I roll away and stand up.

I find that the guest room has a bathroom attached with is fully stocked with new toothbrushes, toothpastes of my choice, razors, shaving cream, deodorant and fresh of all sizes towels, not that I would dare get naked in this house willingly. I give myself and quick shave but Ethan doesn't bother. Instead he is intent on watching me through the mirror, silently questioning me. We don't speak to each other.

There is a knock on the door and Tyriess hands us several options of clothes in our sizes. I look through the selection and find a nice pair of jeans and a regular t-shirt. I am careful with how I undress and re-dress so that as little of my skin as possible is revealed. I look in the mirror at my outfit and smile at how dominate the collar looks in this outfit. I make my way to Ethan's discarded jeans, pull out the pocket knife and proceed to cut a 'V' into the neck of the t-shirt pronouncing it further.

I turn from the mirror and hand the closed knife back to Ethan. He takes it then grabs the lock and pulls me to him with it. His eyes burning into mine. I kiss him so tenderly our lips barely touch. He tries to harden it, quicken it. But I push him into the wall and pin him there. Then I press my lips lightly to his again and pull away when he gets hungry. I glare at him, he glares back. I squeeze his wrists tighter and kiss his lips softly again. He whimpers, but this time he accepts the tenderness without fighting back. I smile on his lips and kiss him softly, slowly. Showing him what he means to me with every tender touch. When I know he is going to stop resisting I release my grip on his wrists and entwine my fingers in his. He is shaking under me, vulnerable and exposed. I move my lips to his ear. "I am willfully yours forever." His breath shakes. "If you need me to tell you ever single day of forever I will. I chose you Ethan. I love you."

I let him go and he stands there for a moment. I frown at him. "Do you think they are coming yet? I want to get this over with so we can go home."

"Let's find out." He mutters, clearing his throat and walking to the door.

There is a new guard there and he gestures that we follow him. He leads us to a small room with a round table, there a place settings for five. Que is already there, eating with Tyriess kneeling next to him. He indicates that Ethan and I should sit. "Alec I am sure you will approve of your meal. You were once friends with the chief." I raise my eyebrow at him as my mind flashes back to the kind lady who taught me everything I know about cooking. "I am sure she would enjoy saying hello, if you are interested?"

I give a polite smile. "That would be nice."

"Lance will be here soon. Sebastien should be joining us shortly after."

We are served each a healthy amount of pancakes, sausage, bacon, and eggs. Not really wanting to speak I concentrate on my food and get reminded how talented my teacher really is.

"What you are asking for takes time. Not only do I have to get my siblings on board but there needs to be strategy. I want as little blood shed as possible on our end." Que notes.

"I agree. But no more than a month. I want this done." I shrug.

"Jack?" a female voice calls in a smile.

"Chief!" I smile back getting up from my chair and hugging her.

"It's been ages!" she smiles pulling away. "Look at you! You grew into such a handsome young man!"

"One who can cook thanks to you. All my friends beg me to cook every chance they get. Thank you so much, you really did mean a lot to me."

"I'm glad to hear. It is good to see you!" she smiles, hugging me again. "I gotta get back to the kitchen. Lunch." She smiles. "It really is wonderful to see you Jack. And I am glad your spirit has never left your eyes."

She walks away and I sit back down, taking Ethan's hand. "I have you to thank for that compliment." Ethan gives me a half smile in return.

Lance walks into the room after I finish my eggs. He stops cold and stares at Ethan and I, his face hardened in disapproval. I sit up straight and drink my juice, realizing he doesn't know a thing and is very confused as to why I am here, more or less sitting in a chair and not kneeling at Ethan's side.

"Have a seat Lance." Que orders him, causing Lance to startle, as if he forgotten Que was even there.

"What is the meaning of this? Why is he being treated as if he were equal?" Lance replies angrily, ignoring the food being placed in front of him.

"Because he is equal." Ethan answers, eating casually. Ethan shrugs, "Mostly."

"Excuse me?" Lance replies, shocked.

"We're married." Ethan explains, taking a drink of his juice.

"Who the hell gave you the right . . ."

"I did." Que answers cutting off Lance. Ethan stops drinking and sets his juice on the table carefully, obviously not expecting that. Lance doesn't notice Ethan's reaction, he is too busy gapping at Que. "They brought some valid points to my attention." Que adds.

"Such as?" Lance asks, his anger boiling.

"Pricilla needed to get the message that Alec was off limits. Being under our protection obviously wasn't working so having Alec become family makes it clear. She wouldn't dare go after family." Que answers.

Ethan goes rigid and I know exactly where his mind is. Not wanting him to doubt me I set my fork down, take a drink of my juice, wipe my mouth and then take his hand. "Come now Que, that is an unexpected perk." Lance's head snaps to mine, his eyes dark. I tense, remembering the hell that always followed that expression all too well. Ethan squeezes my hand, silently reminding me Lance can't touch me. "I love and trust Ethan completely. I wanted this no matter who he was related to."

"You love and trusted me once too." Lance replies bitterly.

"Did he?" Ethan challenges. "If I recall correctly, I am the one who earned his real name from his own lips, not you."

"I would have, had you given me time!" Lance seethes.

"Time? You wanted more time with him? Then why did I receive a random phone call asking if I was interested in buying him from you after _five_ years?"

"That wasn't my choice!" Lance yells, slamming his fist on the table causing all the contents on top to clatter.

"Denial at its finest." I mutter, straightening my silverware. "You never had to earn my trust Lance. I was naïve enough to give it to you, had you only asked. But the longer you kept me, the more you lost it."

"None of this matters." Que jumps in bringing Lance's attention back to him. "They got married with my approval three weeks ago. It's done."

"Just like that?" Lance asks. "He was mine, I had a say in this!"

"True but I made the decision for you. They were in a hurry, all caught up in love-lust. Sue me for being a romantic." Que shrugs, finishing his breakfast. He leans down toward Tyriess who then bends forward and starts to eat his cold meal off the floor. I shudder and try not to watch him. Lance looks at Que hurt. "Accept it Lance and be prepared to defend it. Sebastien is going to be livid and I believe despite this feeling of betrayal you still want Alec protected."

"Accept it?" Lance repeats in astonishment.

"Lance if I may, I would like to speak to you in private." I smile, causing Ethan to squeeze my hand so tight it hurts. I turn to him. "It's okay Master, we are equals now. He won't hurt his family."

Ethan jerks his hand away from mine and turns an ice cold stare toward Lance. "Hands off."

Lance narrows his eyes at his cousin and stands up, walking out of the room. I don't hesitate to excuse myself and I follow him into an empty room. Lance turns on me, so fast I don't have time to move. I find my back up against the door I just closed and Lance towering over me, his lips so close to mine they are almost touching. I swallow hard and try to side step him but he blocks the option by putting his arms up against my sides. He stares at me, his eyes filled with pain, anger and jealousy. "You love Que." I whisper almost inaudibly but the surprise that filters through his face, tells me he heard me.

I give a knowing smile, expecting him to take a step back but he doesn't. Instead he whispers back. "Yes, but I love you most." He puts his lips on mine. I don't kiss him back, this angers him and he reaches for my neck only to stop and pull back to examine the lock his hand found there. He reads the inscription and the hurt returns to his eyes.

"I almost didn't live to hurt you this way." I respond in a normal tone of voice, his eyes snap to mine. "The poison left its damage. I have been in constant pain since I woke up. It left a lot of joint damage but mostly paralyzing migraines from the attack itself."

"Why haven't I heard about this?"

"Hard to complain when I am spending so much time sitting next to hospital beds or burying those I love." I reply dryly.

"Ethan doesn't know."

"He does on some level, but I haven't made it known." I shrug. "What is arthritis and headaches compared to death anyhow?"

"She will pay for this!" Lance promises.

"She has." I reply. "I am not after her."

This surprises Lance and he presses his weight harder into me. "Then who are you after Jack?"

"Xzavier Spencer." I reply. "And you are going to help me find him."

"That is dangerous! How does your husband feel about this?" Lance hisses. I respond by tangling my hand in his hair and kiss him. He lifts his hand off the door to touch me but he hesitates and puts it back. His lips are hungry and his body gets impossibly closer. I am doing my best to be convincing but the longer I let it go on, the harder it is for me. When I can't do it anymore I gingerly touch his chin and cheek and stop kissing him. His body quivers over me before he reluctantly turns his head and kisses my hand. "We would have been happy together. I should have run away with you." I don't respond, my mind flashing to all the pain, all the broken bones, all the emotional turmoil; I have never been more fortunate that he decided to sell me. Had he kept me, I am sure I would have been buried in an unmarked grave a long time ago; visited only by a man who would grieve in his regret that he couldn't control his temper.

"Will you help me?" I ask, letting him suck on my fingers. "Please Lance, I need this."

"You need me? Yet you marry my cousin!" He seethes.

"Alec married your cousin." I whisper, dipping into my psychology training. "Jack needs you." It is a risky mind fuck. I undo my pants and expose my cock to him. "You can touch Jack."

He glares at me before kissing me hard. "Lift up your shirt, drop your pants to your knees." He orders, I follow his instructions. It takes energy not to close my eyes when he lowers himself to his knees. I gasp when his mouth is around me. He moans, keeping his hands on the door. I unfocus my eyes, thinking of anyone else. I filter to Ethan, then Clayton but my mind settles on Kyle. I think of the fantastic sex him and I used to share. My cock gets hard, remembering the lust. I do my best to block Lance's moans when his tongue touches the first bit of my taste. I start to rock my hips, fucking his throat. "Yes." I gasp, "Fuck cumming." I warn. He pulls all but the tip of my cock from his mouth and drinks my cum. He drops me from his mouth and buries his nose in my balls. I work to keep my face lustful and he licks my skin. He pulls up and licks my nipples.

"Dress yourself." He doesn't have to tell me twice. "I've always enjoyed your taste Jack." He whispers kissing me. I let him for a while before I cradle both his cheeks in my hands. My thumbs travel lightly across his lips and bring my lips tenderly to touch them. I hold them there for a few precious moments and then I pull away. Dropping his face. His eyes are filled with disappointment and pain. He grabs the lock around my neck. "Ethan looks at you the way he used to look at Matt." I say nothing. "I won't do this for you Alec. Nor will I do it for Jack." I close my eyes and open them when he jerks the lock of my collar. "I will do this for Ethan."

"Thank you." I whisper.

"You just cheated on your husband and you thank me?"

"I did not cheat." I glare. "My ass is off limits, not my dick."

"Good, because if I find out you hurt him. I swear, I will kill you myself." He steps back, jerks the door open, despite my weight and walks out.

I take a moment to collect myself before I join the others. When I walk into the room I notice two things, Tyriess had finished eating which I am grateful for and Sebastien had not only arrived but sat at my vacated seat and finished my food. He is the first to notice my entrance, as the others were paying attention to Lance, sitting back down. "Hope you don't mind slave, I was famished." Sebastien grins.

I give him a smile and take what was meant to be his seat, to the right of Que and sit down. "Not at all." I reply, cutting into his cool pancakes and slipping a bite into my mouth, chewing slowly. Sebastien jumps to his feet. Ethan, Lance and Que are quick behind him. I calmly sit there and take another bite. Keeping eye contact with Sebastien. He is livid, I can see the thousand ways he wants me dead, flashing in his eyes. Ethan grabs his wrist causing Sebastien to turn with a swing. Ethan dodges it but I find myself on my feet in anger. "Touch my _husband_ and I swear to you I will break your hand one bone at a fucking time, listening to you thank me for it." I warn.

Sebastien turns to me in disbelief. "Did you just threaten me slave?"

"I don't make threats, _cousin_."

"Cousin? . . . Husband? . . ." comprehension dawns on him and his face flashes from anger to surprise to disgust and then back to anger again. "No way in hell I would approve you entering into my family!"

"Oh but you already have. Isn't that right Que?"

"The time for contesting the marriage has expired." Que answers causing me to smile at his convincing bullshit. "No one approached me with their disapproval within the first fourteen days of their marriage. They've been married over three weeks now. It's done."

"How am I to contest something I didn't know about?" Sebastien seethes.

"You've been keeping an eye on Alec since you met him Sebastien. It is your responsibility to have your minions inform you, not mine." Que snaps. "Same goes for Pricilla. Either of you try to kill him, or his friends again, you will find yourselves being held to our father's code for family traders."

"You wouldn't dare!" Sebastien yells, getting into Que's face.

"Try me." Que responds evenly, not looking the least bit threatened. Sebastian doesn't say another word. Instead he spits on Tyriess, stalks out of the room and presumably out of the house. Que balls his hands into fists and releases them a few times. "Go, wash yourself slave." Que orders. "And Tyriess."

"Sir?"

"Use my bathroom and take your time. You are good and didn't deserve the disrespect Sir Sebastien just showed you. You will be rewarded."

"Thank you Sir." Tyriess responds, crawling out of the room.

Que looks up at the three of us. "You got what you came for, now if you'll excuse me I have had enough of family drama for the day. Go home, all of you."

"No." Ethan responds. Que glares at him. "I want the full family blessing, according to your father's code."

"You are pushing it Ethan." Que warns.

"Are you shunning us?" Ethan asks.

Que's face turns into a twist of a smile that always makes me ill. I know something terrible is about to happen. I brace myself. "I will give your right Ethan, but at a cost." Ethan stands taller, holding his breath. "After the ceremony is complete, you and your husband are to share your bed with Lance and I." The blood drains from my face and I find myself swallowing vomit, willing myself to keep standing. Que's eyes flash as he watches my uncomfortable reaction, "Nothing can physically be off limits."

"No deal." Ethan replies coldly. "I will not subject my husband to the possibility of being harmed."

"I think we can amend it to where we won't harm. Bite, chock hard enough to leave bruises, but we won't harm either of him." Lance smiles, liking this idea all too much.

"No bondage, no toys. Lube is a requirement." I reply, feeling weaker but trying to keep my voice steady and brave.

"No bondage?" Que replies disappointed. "Then it has to be worth while, say forty-eight hours."

I grab the back of the chair because I can no longer stand on my own. My eyes fall to Ethan. "Master, if this is important to you, I am willing."

Ethan looks at me and I can see the conflict. This request is important but he knows how much I hate these two, more or less be willing to let them touch me and I touch them. He swallows hard but speaks firmly. "We have an agreement."

"Very well, go back to your room, I must prepare some things, you will be called upon when your presence is required. Upon your return be naked. You will have no need for clothes or technology for the next forty-eight hours." He orders.

Ethan walks out of the room and I take his hand, unsure what to say or do. I follow him in silence until we are as alone as we can be in our room. "What is the full family blessing?"

"Something Pricilla will throw in our face if we don't do it. It binds you to the family line. No matter if our relationship succeeds or fails, it makes you a Malocchio for life. You will be protected even if I die."

"No contact for forty-eight hours? You realize Clayton is going to freak right?" I bitch, texting Mike and explaining something has come up.

"You are about to . . . and your concern is Clayton's worry?"

"You realize Mike is going to have to chain him to Texas, literally." I reply. "Three heart surgeries Ethan. Three!"

"Then have Mike slip him something to keep him unconscious. Clayton shouldn't be your concern right now Pet."

"I know, but that is easier to acknowledge." I frown, replying vaguely to Mike's concern text and adding in Ethan's suggestion.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes.

"I am just pissed. After last night, I was damn sure he won't shun us, even if we don't do this. He pulled this power play because he thinks he can. I am very close to telling him to fuck himself."

"Getting the full family blessing is an honor Alec. He has the right to withhold it without shunning our marriage." I look at him in confusion. "I was pushing him. I'm sorry if you thought it was a requirement to avoid being shunned. We do have their blessing, our marriage is recognized."

"I'm confused, if we have their blessing why go through this?" I question. His eyes meet mine, he need not say it. "In case our marriage doesn't work out." I repeat his explanation of the full family blessing, catching on. "Damn it Ethan!" I bitch. "You and your insecurities! Do you not trust me?"

"Did Lance touch you?" He asks, his eyes flashing in jealousy.

"He kept his hands off of me, but he made physical contact." I reply dryly.

"Define physical contact."

"He gave me head."

Ethan pushes me to a wall, pinning me by the throat with his forearm, jealousy all over his face. He leans into me and whispers softly. "How could he do that and keep his hands off of you? Did you expose yourself to him like a whore?"

"Master," I answer, struggling for air. He drops his arm but replaces it with his hand quickly. I can see the jealousy and anger but his grip is weak and I realize he is staging this, to a point. "I'm sorry." I respond, causing Ethan to slap me hard across the face. I cradle my cheek in shock and he steps away only to pull me to him.

"I don't recall giving my approval." He seethes in an angry whisper, "Especially to a man who craves your touch, your taste. You are mine! Tell me why I should forgive you."

"We need his help and Lance has always been easier to persuade if the person needing help, asks for it personally."

"And?"

"He told me he won't help me." I answer honestly. "He said he would help you."

"Of course he did." Ethan bitches, gripping my shirt but keeping his face hidden in my skin. "What better way to rub your actions in my face than to have me not only accept them but ask the man who got you off for help."

"His twisted way of revenge for marrying me?" I ask, kissing his neck.

"Yes." Ethan answers. "And now we have to contend with this ridiculous demand from Que because you challenged him on a power play."

"What makes you accuse me of that?"

"I know you. You have always stood up to Que and to see him fold like marionette out there, it was obvious to me you were pulling his strings."

"The price is worth paying to give you this gift." I assure him.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Do you not see the gift I have given you? I've aligned your family with my cause. Justice will be severed and the sweetest part is that you are no longer in the middle having to choose sides. And no more family bickering. Our past will be behind us, forever."

"Gift? This gift is forcing me to share you with my cousins!" he seethes, his jealousy trumping his emotions.

"I'm yours. This will be over soon. Then you and I are free to love each other, no more drama." I reply sucking his earlobe into my mouth. He tries to resist me but I am persistent and soon we are touching and fighting with clothes to get access to each other. He is presses our cocks together in his hands and starts to rub the tip when the door swings open.

"Sir Que is ready for you two." Tyriess interrupts.

I moan in frustration at the worse timing ever. "Thank you Tyriess." Ethan growls, kissing me hungrily before he lets us go and takes my hand. "Lead the way."

Tyriess leads us down several hall ways before we find ourselves in a room with two couches and a lit fireplace. I am so upset about the next two days, I had forgotten to ask what a family blessing entails. Tyriess waits to be dismissed and then closes the doors behind him as he exits, leaving Ethan and I alone with Lance and Que.

"Come close Alec, I need to be sure your slave days are forever behind you." I squeeze Ethan's hand before I let go and approach Que. Que looks over where my marks were, until Ethan pulverized them on our wedding night. "Very good." He admires, touching my skin seductively. I swallow hard. "As for the chip, removing it is risky outside a hospital. You are welcome to do so if you like but for now . . ." I feel something cold and metal on my skin, "it's deactivated. Slave number 1109-1284-1011 is hereby officially abolished." I stand a little taller. I remember the day I received that number and that chip was forced into my skin all too clearly. This is the second time it has been deactivated but to hear that the number attached to it is abolished, lifts a weight I carried for so long, I forgot how heavy it really was. My eyes meet Que's. "You are a free man Alec Impavido." He takes the lock of my collar in his hand, "No one can lay claim to you now unless you allow it."

"I willfully serve Ethan Impavido." I respond, not missing a beat.

Que smiles and drops the lock. "The blessing you are seeking requires you to take an oath that once said cannot be undone. At this moment you have the right to leave my family Alec, as a free man. I ask if you are sure you want to surrender that right and forever be a part of this family, with or without Ethan at your side."

"I do." I respond confidently, thinking of Bobby, to avoid getting sick.

"Ethan, this is a right only you can chose to share with your husband. Are you sure you want to extend it?"

"I am." Ethan replies.

Que takes my hands and examines them. He traces a scar on my palm. "What is this?"

"It's a blood oath he made with Clayton Reynolds." Ethan answers for me. "It does not interfere with this blessing I assure you."

"I take blood oaths very serious Alec." Que notes.

"So do I." I respond, keeping my hand steady.

"Good." Que states, gripping my non scarred hand in his. Lance hands him a long sharp blade and Que drags it firmly and deeply into my palm. I take a quick intake of air, trying not to scream out from the sting. Damn it twice in the same week is not cool! Ethan stands next to my bleeding hand and extends his open palm for Que to cut. He takes it just as well as I did. Que raises our bleeding hands and places our palms together. He then takes a black satin rope Lance gives him and ties our arms together, securing it to a hook in the ceiling I did not notice before. The position is not a comfortable one, especially for Ethan who is shorter than I am. It doesn't take long for our mixed blood to start dripping down onto the rope and down each other's arms. "You are now bound together in blood. If you truly love one another, kiss now." Neither of us hesitates with the order and we kiss hungrily in the awkward position. We break the kiss and I flex my throbbing hand. Que continues. "According to the old creed it requires two men of power to bless a marriage. Sir Lance, do you consent your blessing?"

Lance takes a long pause before he holds out his hand. "I do." Que and him exchange a heated gaze before Que cuts his palm. "Sir Que, do you consent your blessing? Lance asks him.

"I do." He answers cutting his own hand. They both step in front of me and let their blood drip on my face.

"Open your mouth." Ethan whispers. I do so and find the taste of iron, absolutely disgusting. They move from me to Ethan who takes it much better than me.

Que and Lance then place their bleeding hands on top of mine and Ethan's waiting patiently for the blood to mix together. When Que is satisfied he states, "We are family, a bond that can never be broken."

He drops his hand and Lance follows suit. Que then walks to the fireplace and pulls out a poker that was heating there. "Ethan." I whisper, fear clear in my voice as my body tenses.

"It's okay, you want this." He assures me. My eyes shoot to his, he has obviously never felt the burning of a hot metal poker on his skin.

Lance grips my hips from behind, I scream out when I feel the hot poker on my skin directly to the left of my cock. Que presses it in hard and holds it. I try to hold still, grateful for Lance's help. Tears spill out of my eyes in pure agony, my skin has long since burnt away. I continue to cry out and am surprised the pain doesn't subside when the poker is finally taken off of me. I try to catch my breath when Lance lets go. I squeeze my eyes shut when Ethan screams out in the same agony. When he finally stops Que puts the now cooling poker in my line of sight. It is an eye, the mark of the Malcholo family.

He puts the poker on the stones of the fireplace then picks up the knife again. With one quick swing he cuts Ethan and I down from the ceiling. Ethan works us free of the bloody ropes. "Welcome to the family." Que smiles.

"Thanks." I reply flexing my palm. Lance hands Ethan and I each some bandages to nurse our wounds with. He sits down on the couch and takes care of his own without saying a word to anyone. Ethan and I sit on a different couch. "Was the branding necessary?" I ask aloud. "You two seem satisfied enough with ink."

"Only married couples wear the brand." Que explains. "The ink is something of a new tradition the four of us decided upon for distinction." We all work our hands into bandages to make the bleeding stop. When we are done Que turns to us. "I did everything I could to talk you out of doing this Alec, if only you would have listened." My guard goes up, the tone of his voice combined with the look on his face tells me something is terribly wrong. I look to Ethan but he too seems on defense and confused. Que turns to Lance, "You always warned me he was stubborn." Lance simply nods.

"What the hell is going on?" Ethan demands, taking my hand in his.

"It's time Alec learns the truth." Que answers, "As to why he was the most protected slave in our family and why, especially now, I would give my own life to protect him."


	44. Bare Naked Truths

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Bare Naked Truths**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

"Fucking hell Clay." Mike gasps, still quivering from his orgasm.

"I could so use a cigarette after that." I admit, satisfied yet exhausted. "I know, I know." I moan pulling his sticky body under me, in protest to his glare.

"I can't go again Clay please!" Mike moans, pushing me off of him. "We need a shower."

I stop kissing his chiseled abs and drop the weight of my head into his sticky stomach. Moaning I roll off of him and drag him into my shower. "You realize the first thing we do with our new place is to put in a shower exactly like this." I warn him, adjusting the multiple heads to make sure we get relaxed and clean. He laughs.

When run out of hot water we climb out of the shower and dry off. Mike goes to make us something to eat and I take the time to pack some clothes into a suitcase. Right about the time he is putting the taco shells into the oven I place the luggage next to the counter.

"Dare I ask?" he questions.

"I told you we were going to have an all exclusive weekend, this is it." I smile.

"This weekend?" he asks, cautiously.

"This weekend." I confirm. "We are caught up with work and honestly Mike, I need a distraction while Alec is off . . ."

"Clayton." He starts. I stop, surprised at his reluctance. "Can we postpone this?"

"You have plans?" I ask surprised.

"No, it's just." He stops, staring at me. "It's been a long week, are you sure you want to do this, this weekend?"

"God Mike, you are acting like you are hiding something." I frown.

"No, baby, no it's not that." He assures, me causing me to raise an eyebrow. He forces a smile, "Dinner's almost ready. Once we eat, let's hit the road."

Mike seems a little distracted at dinner but he blames it on the fatigue of our naughty adventures. The mean is good but something is off with Mike and I am suddenly dreading this. We get into the car and I start to drive. He can't stop flipping through the stations and finally I had enough. Annoyed, I find the nearest turn off and park the car. "What the hell is going on with you?" I demand. He takes a deep breath and lets it out again but he doesn't answer me. "Damn it Mike!"

"It's Logan." He replies seriously.

"What?" I ask confused.

"My name, it's Logan."

I stare at him in complete shock as my word shatters right before my eyes. My heart skips a beat. "You've been lying to me?"

"I didn't have a choice, not until after we were married. I was going to tell you and then Daniel died." He stops when I close my eyes, this is Daniel's deception all over again. "Clay, I am not a part of some evil organization nor am I protected by one." He continues, reading my thoughts. "Quite the contrary, I am a federal agent."

"Excuse me?" I ask opening my eyes in shock.

"I was originally stationed to a fraud unit and during my time there I was assigned Blackboard Entertainment." I glare at him, my company has never had any fraud issues. "You weren't guilty, I proved that." He rushes. "All the suspicious activity stopped when Ryan left."

"Are you serious?" I ask, stunned.

"Yes." He frowns, "Afterward, I was reassigned to Chloe's unit and everyone thought it would be easiest to keep my job to avoid suspension. Chloe found Alec before you even met him. And then you two run into each other and the rest is history."

"You worked with Chloe." I repeat out loud, suddenly pissed off because I knew who Chloe was. She flat out handed me her badge when I asked her why I should trust her. It made sense she would have a partner or in this case a unit but I never dreamed I married into it. Of all the people in my life, my husband has to be the one that is lying to me. "You are telling me your real name is Logan?" I ask, trying to wrap my head around this.

"Yes," he answers cautiously, "Logan Reynolds." I glare at him. "I'm serious, all of our documents, including the pre-nump are filed under my legal name." I raise an eyebrow, "Your lawyer works for us." He explains. "And I want this to be real, because my feelings for you are real."

"What was your prior Sir name?" I ask, leaning into the car and finding my smokes. He starts to protest but thinks better of it, watching me lite up, waiting for an answer.

"Ingenua."

"Is Brandon your middle name?"

"Michael." He frowns. "Brandon . . . it has a special meaning for me. Something I want to share with you but not in this particular moment."

I can tell by his eyes whatever it is, it's painful. Respecting his wishes, I stay on topic. "Logan Michael Ingenua."

"Logan Michael Reynolds." He corrects, taking my hand. "But I prefer Mike." I pull my hand away from him. Turning my attention to the road. "That can't be your only question." He challenges.

"Was Levi ever your Master?"

"Yes, he was."

"How do you do both jobs?"

He gives a sarcastic laugh. "I don't. I have three agents behind the scenes doing my job at Blackboard Entertainment so I can do my job as an agent. Why do you think it always fell apart when you hired one person as a replacement?"

"Good to know. I will set up that system on my payroll next week."

"Clay."

"You're fired." I respond coldly.

From the non-focus of my eyes I can see him close his. "Please don't shut me out."

I start on my second smoke before I speak to him again. "You said your fraud investigation ended when Ryan left?"

"Yes, your books just suddenly started to make sense again. I made the connection. Ryan was the problem. I wasn't sure how close you paid attention to him once you cut him out but it became glaring obvious that once you end things with someone they are out of your life forever. Ryan went to federal prison on embezzlement charges."

"He was using my company, how did I not know?" I glare.

"I took care of the legal side. Like I said, the lawyers work for me. You signed things you didn't realize you were signing." My eyes widen as the betrayal hits me hard in the stomach. "Ryan has been kept on a tight leash since he was re-hired by Blackboard Entertainment as a contractor. Legally he can't work for you again, so it was necessary to restructure it all. Trust me, the legal department has their hands full with it. But me being his boss has kept him in line."

I put my smoke out on the pavement and make sure it is out with my foot. "I want a divorce." I inform him.

"No!" he screams, reaching for my keys and successfully grabbing them. I glare. "No damn it!" He says, angry tears falling from his eyes. "You think I planned this? Falling in love with you? Do you think I wanted to lie to you day in and day out? I have done everything I can to be as honest as possible with you. I am undercover Clayton. Long term. Do you have any idea how close both Chloe and I came to losing everything when we married people here? Do you have any idea what I went through so we can be together? I will not let you walk away from me without a fight Clay. I love you!"

"I loved Daniel." I reply in a calm voice. "I walked away from him because he started our relationship out with a lie. And now you are telling me you are guilty of the same _fucking_ crime! But worse, you have my business involved. How am I to trust you? You are a fraud and a liar! I want nothing to do with you. Stay away from me, stay away from Alec. You are not welcome in either of our lives."

I start walking down the road. "Clay!" Mike calls after me. I flip him off and keep walking. I am attempting to call a cab when I feel an amazing shock go through my system, causing me to drop to my knees. I look up to see Mike, frowning. "Sorry Clay, but you left me with no choice. It isn't safe for you to walk alone." He injects something into my neck that makes me feel instantly foggy then he picks me up and puts me in the passenger seat of the car and continues to drive, following the GPS. When we get there he carries me into the cabin and handcuffs my wrists to the bed. Then he sits down next to me and waits. "The drugs should wear off soon. Are you hungry?."

"What the fuck did you do to me?" I ask, pissed.

"Taser and a little bit of a tranquilizer." He answers. "You left me with no choice, the fucking Dolore are after you. I am not leaving you unprotected."

"You kidnapped me."

"No, I just put you under federal protection. This isn't kidnapping, promise." He retorts.

"I have nothing to say to you. This is unforgivable." I glare.

"I'll give you some time Clay." He frowns. "I respect this is a shock."

He gets up and literally leaves me handcuffed to the damn bedframe. After fruitless attempts to struggle out of it, I simply lay down and stare at the ceiling. Every person in my life, except for Monica and Lilly, that I have surrounded myself with are liars. I find it ironic, famous people bitch about this all the time, but I never dreamed it would happen to me. I never friended a damn fan. Okay, one but that was because he was a friend of Alec's. Other than that, the people I surrounded myself with I thought I could trust. Alec, has always been honest about lying but still he lies. Then there is a list of those who just simply lied and I found out about it. Daniel, Mike or whatever, Chloe, Levi, Ryan hell even Bobby.

After the sun goes down Mike come back. "I want to talk this out." He responds. "Please, if we can't get past this, we can't get past this and I will give you a non-contested divorce. But damn it Clay, we have to try." He takes my silence as an agreement, he shouldn't but he does. "I didn't know Bobby very well." He starts, "But I know he lied to Alec. I also know that despite that Alec still loves him. From what I have gathered these past few months, I am damn sure Ethan hasn't always been honest with Alec and Alec knows that too but they seem happy."

"I am not Alec." I reply dryly.

"No, but you are his soulmate. Would he not ask you to find forgiveness in your heart if he were here?"

"Daniel lied to me and Alec did not fight for him. Why would he fight for you?" He doesn't answer that, instead he simply sits and waits, pulling out his tablet. Annoyed, I pretend he doesn't exist. The light catches my wedding band and I stare down at it for the longest time, unsure what to do with the worthless piece of metal. Finally, I slip it off and roll it between my forefinger and my thumb. Frustrated, I throw it across the room with all my strength. Mike looks up from his tablet but says nothing. I jerk my head when I hear a knock on the door. "HEL-" I try to yell but Mike has his hand over my mouth too quickly.

"It's pizza. I'm starving. I'll get rid of him quickly." Mike explains, putting a gag in my mouth before dealing with the intrusion. I close my eyes, wishing I could turn off the fuzz in my brain. I feel so deeply betrayed I can't wrap my head around the truth. Normally I would have conjured a million questions, trying to understand things but my head is simply empty. "You need to eat Clayton." Mike tells me dropping the pizza box on the end table and handing me a cup of water, while freeing one of my hands. I say nothing as rip off the gag and dump the water into onto the floor, ignoring the food. He sighs heavily but chooses not to fight this battle and eats his pizza in silence.

Hours pass before he speaks again. "Need to pee?" He asks, I shake my head. "Okay, let me know if you change your mind." He sighs, cleaning up his mess and disappears for a little while. When he comes back he plugs his tablet into an outlet and moves a chair over to it.

Night falls, the sun falls out of sight and the moon must be new because there is no sign of its light tonight. "Here." Mike speaks again, startling me. I had forgotten he was there. "It's fifteen degrees cooler than it was with the sun. The fireplace is in the next room. " He throws a blanket over me.

"Thanks." I reply. I don't know what else to say so I don't say anything.

"Daniel's lies were toxic." Mike speaks, catching me by surprise. "He damn near got you killed with his jealous ex-boyfriend who not only attacked you with a baseball bat but tortured you, me and Daniel with acid."

"How long did you know Cassandra was Pricilla?"

"Same amount of time as you." He replies. "But she figured out who I was long before that. Chloe had something on her, she never said what it was; whatever it was caused all the damn drama between us, but it bought her silence." He makes a disapproving grunt noise. "Silence was the only thing it bought. She sure the hell wasn't terrified of consequences of hurting a federal agent, or damn near killing one."

"Explains the acid." I shrug.

"Daniel's lie risked putting you on the Quattro's chopping block when he joined the Angels to defy Pricilla. We looked into it, Liam paid dearly for it. Not to mention the lie about Bobby that prevented us from finding him that much sooner and could have possibly have saved his life!"

"You got a point?" I snap.

"I lied to you about being a federal agent. How does that affect our relationship?"

"What relationship? Before yesterday I didn't even know your damn name. You fucked with my business, had me sign shit I didn't know I was signing."

"So I hurt your business?"

"What?" I ask, "No." I frown at that, thinking about where my business was before I met him and what it has become today.

"So just to make sure I have my facts straight here. You were not so long ago in a love triangle with me and Daniel, both of which were lying to you. Daniel's lies proved toxic and you walked away from him. And mine didn't hurt you, but actually helped, and you are walking away from me too?"

"It's the principle of the thing." I respond, able to make his silhouette out in the early morning light.

"Right of course. My bad Clayton. I get it. You thought our relationship was based on honesty and trust and you have never lied to me so why should you tolerate me lying to you."

His words cut deep and I glare at him, "That was low."

"It's the truth." He argues.

I stare at the ceiling for a very long time. Eventually I turn to him. "I hate that you are right. Like really fucking hate it." I snap, jerking at the cuffs. "I need to piss."

"Of course." He shrugs, reaching for the keys and locking my hands in front of me.

"Seriously?" I question. He shrugs in response. Annoyed I walk out of the room and do my business, then wash my hands. Reluctantly I sit down on the bed, staring at him.

"So Logan is it?"

"Mike, please." He corrects me, "I am so used to my middle name it feels weird using anything else. Especially with you."

We sit quietly for a while. "You're right. You and Daniel both lied to me." I start, holding up my cuffed hands to keep him from interrupting. "Daniel's lies lead to dangerous situations that almost got me beat to death and damn near took my ability to walk. Not to mention put Alec in a horrific situation that lead to him being poisoned and me getting shot and consequently leading me to three heart surgeries. Plus, it got you hurt with permeant spine damage and damn near got you killed." I shake my head, "Despite him being dead I am still angry that he didn't come clean sooner about talking to Bobby because as you said, that allowed that much more time and distance for Bobby's killer and hell possibly his, to walk free." I start drumming my thumb on my knee. "Your lies make me feel betrayed. I've let you in more than most everyone in my life and to find out you are not who you say you are."

"Clay."

"Don't." I interrupt. "Obviously I've had all night to think about this." I glare, "Before I met you I was a Berkley graduate with two talented singers and an ear for music. I was green and so were the girls. We stumbled a lot but we were doing okay. Then you show up and we start to improve and the next thing I know, the girls schedule is full and my company hires the right people and we go from something that was going to get swallowed up by bigger fish to being the biggest fish in the ocean. Now I am going to take credit where it is due to me. I know music and I know business. But legal isn't my strongest point and to be honest, today I couldn't tell you half of what my company is into. And you using my business as your cover for this operation has done nothing but benefit me, the girls and my shareholders."

He shakes his head. "I was going through a tough time in my personal life when I got assigned to your case. I won't deny I got over involved, trying to hide from my problems. By the time I got reassigned Chloe was given the task of trying to keep the cover I had and still be able to use me for my real job. Which is why we used your business as a cover. I am sorry for that, it was my mistake and if I could take it back …"

"I'd be a 'used to be' lost in a corporation I didn't own." I interrupt again. He stares at me. "You're right, you overstepped. Big time. You should have come clean way before now. But as far as I can tell your lies never hurt me. If I am understanding this big picture they only helped me and the girls. I want an honest answer Logan Michael, have your lies caused any damage I don't know about?"

"Honestly I can't think of anything, but if I do I swear I will tell you."

I sit back on the bed, keeping the distance between us. "Looking at the reality of it, this operation of yours will end sooner or later." I bitch. "Then what happens to you? You get reassigned and we are stuck in a long distance relationship? You fake your death? What? Tell me how this the ending of us is supposed to play out. I want the spoilers."

He shakes his head. "Clay wake up. Several operations have come and gone. Your business is the perfect place to land agents we need. I'm sorry but it's true. I've coordinated countless projects over the years. Yes, I was a part of Chloe's unit and while there is a major case, it moves like malaises. My main job is to coordinate and be responsible for other undercover agents. I am not going to get up and disappear. And if they tried it, fuck 'em. Well fuck them up until twenty-four hours ago, when I had a damn dream job. I didn't need them." He reaches for my feet but I pull back. "I need you."

"I've lied to you over the years." I inform him, "And all this time you had the truth at your fingertips."

"You were protecting me." He dismisses.

"Mostly, but there were times I did it to keep you at a distance." I reply. "Low blow as it was, you are right, I have hurt you with lies too."

"Okay." He answers, retreating his hand. "What do you want to do Clay?"

"On the business side, I am not seeing the harm of you doing what you are doing but I have to get final approval from Lilly and Monica. They built it too, they have a right to have a say. Also, I want to fire Ryan as soon as possible. Had I known the truth, I would have never let him back into my life."

"Well that one is on me." Mike frowns, "Negative side effect you were asking about. Had to legally hire him as a contractor to get him paid. Huge mess of red tape."

"Plus, you were his boss. Sounds like karma balanced that scale for me."

Mike gives a short laugh. Then his face turns serious. "And us?" he asks, fighting tears.

"I am so hurt, I haven't hit the angry stage yet." I reply honestly. Him and I have had enough of the seven stages of grief to last a lifetime, so he understood where I was in the healing process. Step one … with a whole damn load of emotions to go. "I'm not going to cut and run. But we are NOT okay. Not for a while."

He closes his eyes and shakes his head in understanding. "So no divorce?"

"No divorce." I confirm. "But when we get back, you will be sleeping in your apartment for a while."

"So a week or two tops and then I move back into your place?" he asks, cautiously optimistic.

"Maybe, but I don't know when I will be ready to sleep in the same bed Mike."

"I understand." He responds as tears spill from his eyes. "Fuck this hurts Clay."

I stand up and retrieve my wedding band. Then with some fumbling with my cuffed hands I manage to take off my necklace, slip the ring through and put it back on for safe keeping. When I accomplish this task I look at him. His hands are shaking and I take them into mine, touching him for the first time.

He drops his head onto my shoulder, allowing tears to rack through his body. "I'm terrified our marriage is over."

"It's not over." I assure him. He lifts his head up, doubt is all over his tear stained face while he silently questions me by putting his finger through my wedding band hanging around my neck.

"How long will you wear it like that?"

"As long as it takes." I answer. "But you are missing the point Mike."

"Which is?"

"I'm wearing it." I smile, lacing my hands in his. "This isn't something we are going to get over in a night Mike." I reply annoyed. "But I wouldn't be talking if I still wanted to end it." I look around. "The point of us coming here was so we could tell each other everything. Obviously you have more to divulge than me. I have a million questions. You are my husband Logan Michael. I want to know everything about you."

"That is a tall order."

"We have the time."

"I'm more than happy to answer every one of your questions, but I don't know where to start." He frowns, dropping the band.

"Your resume. All fake?"

"Not all." he shrugs. "Just the names of the universities and prior employers. I did have the experience and I do have the degrees I claim to."

"Why become a federal agent?"

He looks away. "It was Brandon's dream more than mine." This was the second time I have heard him mention that name but I have no idea who the guy was. He turns to me. "I haven't talked about him in years." Tears spill down his cheeks.

"Was he your soul mate?" I ask, recognizing the look in his eye.

"Yes, but we were not lovers. We were brothers. Identical twins." He drops his face in his hands. After a moment or two he wipes his tears away furiously. "We had just graduated from the academy and he wanted to celebrate with a camping trip. We were hiking, and he just lost his footing. When he fell his head hit a rock just the wrong way. He died almost instantly. I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't have, if I didn't see it for myself." He starts to cry harder and I bring him into me. "The funeral was the worst, standing there looking at my reflection as a dead corpse. And the idea of moving on without him." He jerks away from me, standing up and putting his back to me. "I haven't spoken to my family since the day we buried him. We were both accepted into the agency and when I walked through the doors, I asked for a long term undercover assignment. That is why I came here. That is why I got overly involved. I am sorry Clayton."

I respond throwing my cuffed hands over his body and pulling him into me. "Thank you for telling me." I whisper, holding him tightly. "I know that was not easy." He sniffs, nodding his head. "The details Mike, that is what I need."

We hold each other for some time before he twist around and takes the hand cuffs off of me, trusting that I am not going to runaway now. While he puts them into his pocket he looks at me with bloodshot eyes, "Have you truly mourned Daniel?"

The question surprises me. "I'm not heartless." I reply, slightly insulted. Unsure where the question even came from I touch his chin with my knuckle. "What is in that head of yours?"

Mike wipes his face, "He was a part of your life for so long, you ended _us_ for him. And then he blows it. Tell me your choice to end it with him wasn't based on just one omission from his past, was it?"

"One?" I repeat, feeling angry. "Mike, we just went through the laundry list, agreeing this isn't the same thing."

"I don't want you to cut me out. I don't want you to never miss me." He whispers, truly vulnerable.

"I do miss Daniel." I answer, correcting his false assumption, "But I had the gift of telling him goodbye. I was given the blessing of an ending."

He stares at me. "I don't understand, when?"

"Daniel came to me after my heart attack, or I went to him, I don't know how to explain it." I frown. "He asked me for our ever after." I can hear Mike's breath escape him, I take his hand. "In reality it was a choice of life or death, I get that. But when I was there, experiencing it. It was the choice between you are him. And I chose you." I whisper, kissing his wet cheek softly.

"You never said anything." He complains.

"It feels weird talking about Daniel. Especially with you."

"But I am your husband."

"Do you have any more siblings?"

"What?" he asks, confused for a moment. He frowns. "Yes. Three more brothers, two sisters."

"There are seven of you?" I ask, shocked.

"Catholic." Mike shrugs.

"Ah." I smile. "How can I help you get back in touch with them?"

"You can't, even if I wanted to." He frowns, looking away. "Not until I come out from under deep cover."

"You can't hide from them forever Mike, to you family that is hell, it's as if they lost you both."

"They did." Mike answers. "It's better this way. I don't want to be seen by them and have them question what would Brandon's life be like. It's complicated but as an identical twin, no one can see you without the other. At least those who know both of you."

"I think your family would disagree with you." I frown.

"You don't push Alec to see his parents, please don't push me to see mine." He replies shortly.

"Fair enough." I reply, turning away for a moment. "How much do you like your job?"

"Which one? The one I was fired from or the agency?"

"The agency." I reply.

"Like I said, it's more Brandon's dream than mine." He answers.

"It isn't safe." I bitch. "I hate that. Not to mention you could be reassigned."

"Reassigned is always a possibility but I am not leaving the city. I'm not leaving you. Unless you want me to." He situates himself more comfortably on the bed. "I almost did once, after you and Daniel decided to try again. Filed my transfer paperwork and everything. But Chloe refused to accept that it was over between us, drug her damn heels on approving it, kept asking me for lost forms when I would ask her about it." He laughs, "Must have turned that damn thing in ten times before I called her out. Fuck that was a sight. Only real fight her and I had. In the end she denied the transfer and I almost fucking quit. It took Levi days to calm me down. Poor bastard was in the middle. But I realized why he was on her side, if I left I would have been leaving him too."

"So I own that little firecracker more than I realized." I smile.

Mike laughs, "Fuck she was a force wasn't she."

"Have you grieved Levi?" I ask.

"I guess I am a hypocrite there aren't I." he smiles sadly. "I do, every day. But I don't let you see it. Losing Kyle hasn't been easy either. He was my partner." Mike explains. "When Kyle found out I put in a transfer he went knee deep into files, trying to find something that would make me stay. And Rachel, oh sweet Rachel, I trusted her so very much." He swallows hard. "They were my self- made family and now they're gone." Tears streak down his face. I pull him into me and gently get him to lay on my chest while I hold him. "When Alec came into the picture I kept my distance. He wasn't one of us, and I didn't trust him. Chloe and I agreed to disagree for a very long time on that. I can't even tell you the number of nights I spent staking out yours or his place just to make sure you were alright. But I knew he had your heart and when he gave me his number, asking me to trust him with it, it took a lot for me to do that. I'm glad I did. I trust him, especially after Levi came back from that cabin and told me what Alec did for him. You were such a wreck over Alec disappearing you didn't notice I was a wreck over Levi."

"Oh but I did." I smile. "I have very loyal security Mike, I knew about Levi long before you told me."

"Traitors." Mike bitches, "You do realize your security is as good as it is because they work for me right?" I laugh. "Seriously, who is it? They are going to get their ass fired."

I shake my head. "He had to give me something on you Mike, coming up with no skeletons would have been a red flag. He did the right thing. And he is the only one who did. Which is why I trust him with you the most. I thought the others to be too incompetent. Turns out they were simply loyal to you. But this guy was smart, he kept suspension off of you and earned my trust."

"Guess you have a point." Mike shrugs, keeping his eyes away.

"What is it?" I ask, my eyes hardening.

"Nothing." He denies. "Promise."

"What is it that you always tell me? Don't promise when you lie."

He studies me for a long while. "I know that I really sound like a hypocrite right now but I am still angry with you for lying to me about the tour." I wasn't expecting that. "I haven't forgiven you for it. You put yourself in a lot of danger and you got hurt." He defends. "I know there was a pause and then I finally got to tell you the truth, which has rightfully made you angry." He looks at his hands nervously. "Clay, I know it's going to take a while to for me."

"You're right, it is." I admit.

"We paused for good reason Clayton, but we are on play again. We have to get through this together if we want this to work. Which means I don't want us to be together until we forgive each other. I want to feel comfortable kneeling and switching from vanilla to submitting on a dime. We aren't there right now, and until we are, please respect that we can't pause; not for this." He puts his fingers through my ring again. "I am going do the same with mine okay."

I nod, giving him a gentle squeeze. "Okay."

"But no sex until we both wear them put them back where they belong." He decides.

"I can agree to that." I smile.

"Are you going to run to Alec during this time?" he asks, causing me go ridged. "I mean, I accept that you are his submissive, we've established that. I just." He stops for a long time. "Will you be fucking him while we're working through all this?"

"No." I answer firmly. "Even if Alec has made up his mind and decided he will sign a contract with me, I would never do anything like that while we are like this. Our relationship takes priority."

"If he chooses not to be your Master?"

"That would hurt like hell." I admit. "But I wouldn't submit to you. I can't offer you that Mike. I can only offering dominating you."

"I have accepted that." He smiles then frowns, "but not right now Clay. I'm sorry, but I am just not ready."

"I understand." I promise. "But you have to tell me when you are."

"Promise." He replies, moving to lay his head on my shoulder. "Just curious, how open is our relationship, now that we are married? Has anything changed?"

"If you accept the offer of submitting to me, I won't share you like that." I warn. "As for the vanilla side, that is up to you. You know if Alec and I are together, it's only fair you can be with another."

"And if you're not?"

"I haven't thought about it." I admit. "I can't see myself kneeling for anyone else." I hesitate, "God, that sounds horrible. Please don't take offense to that. I just really want you as my submissive and I tried the whole switching with the same partner thing and it crashed and burned."

"Clay it's okay, I get it. I'm not offended, promise." He assures me. He fidgets with my hands, "Am I really fired?"

"You should be." I reply harshly, "but no. Mandatory vacation for a while but not fired."

"How much time before I can come back to work?" he pouts.

"A month, at least." I answer, half kidding. "You are too tempting in dress clothes."

"We are going to get past this right?" He asks again.

"Yes." I answer, squeezing him again. "It's just going to take time."

"I love you Clay."

"I love you too." I smile, kissing his head. "No how about we get something to eat. Then you and I are going to continue with all this honesty talk." He moans in protest, "I know handsome but this weekend wasn't meant to be easy. The point is we get through it and no one, especially our enemies, can surprise us. I want this to be forever Mike, we have to have a solid foundation for that."

We talked about a lot of things after that. From our childhood, our dreams, even our political points of view. We talked until there wasn't anything more to say. We learned more about each other in those forty-eight hours than we ever knew from the decade and a half of knowing each other. We opened up to each other in ways we were terrified to open up to with anyone else. In my eyes, and hopefully his, we truly became life partners. I'm not saying some things didn't hurt, they hurt like hell but when you love someone you have to love every part, even those you hate.


	45. Unravel

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Unravel**

 **Alec's Point of View**

The look on Clayton's face when I step off that plane about kills me. I walk over to him, he grabs my shoulders and we stare for a moment before I am taken into an embrace and he falls apart. I look over his shoulder at Ethan and frown a little. I hold Clayton closer, "It's alright, I am fine I swear." I whisper to him. "I'm sorry about staying out of touch, I had to."

He pulls away and dries his eyes. "Forgive me Master, I didn't notice until about three hours ago. Something happened."

"Fucking hell Clayton."

"No one's dead." He replies, stepping away from me. "I'm famous Alec. So famous I almost got killed over a damn picture." Clayton rants, clearly upset. "I have been careful!" He screams pounding his chest. "I do background checks, I keep people at arms length. They have to earn my trust! Earn it!" He yells. "And one day I wake up to find everyone around me are liars!" I take a step back, that hurt. "Ryan a fraud. Federal prison!"

My eyes dart to Ethan, who has gone from cautiously concerned to defensive. I shake my head no and turn to Clayton. "I'm sorry."

"Don't, I'm not pissed at you. You have always been honest about lying to me." He dismisses. "Everyone else. Everyone is on my shit list! Mike! Daniel!"

"Daniel?" I ask, trying to follow this rant as best I can.

"Toxic lies. Lies that hurt me. My feet, my head." He shakes his head, "Mike fucked with my business! My business Alec! I built that place with my own two fucking hands!" I was impressed that he managed a sentence that time. "Divorce, fucking fed."

"Clayton." I start, trying to understand what has him in such an incoherent rage. Clayton shakes his head, opening his car door and talks out a pack of cigarettes. "Clayton, your heart." I bitch.

"No Alec, let him," Ethan intervenes, "the nicotine will calm him some. The risk is worth it, this state is not good for his healing heart."

We watch Clayton lite up and he catches a glimpse of my face. "You!" he turns on me causing Ethan to cautiously step between us. Clayton looks at him for a half a second then turns away and continues to pace. "Fly off to New York. Worst enemies. Dark two fucking days! Kick both your asses!"

"Both?" I question. "Thought you were mad at me, not Ethan."

"Asshole let it happen!"

Clayton glares at him takes more drags of his cigarette, smoking it way too fast. Wanting to change his focus I circle him back to the person who put him in this fucking tale spin. "So you are getting divorced, why?"

"No, we're fine!" Clayton growls.

I look at Ethan who is just as confused as I am. "Okay, how can I help you Clayton?"

"Never fucking disappear like that again!" he growls, finishing his smoke and tossing the butt. Ethan retrieves it, makes sure it is out and pockets it. Smart considering we are surrounded by jet fuel.

"Okay, I'm sorry Angel. Please, calm for me."

He puts his forehead on mine, I can feel his body relax next to me. He looks at me for the first time and frowns. "What did you do to your hand?" He demands in a dark voice. I look down at my hand and then shake my head but he pulls away and looks at Ethan, "What the hell did you two do?"

"It's a family thing." I try to dismiss.

Clayton grabs my wrist and yanks the bandage off. "A blood vow! Are fucking kidding me!"

I have no words that would make sense to him in this state. I look to Ethan for help but he shrugs, he has never seen Clayton like this before. "It doesn't interfere with ours." I whisper, surprising him and causing a hint of pain on his face before the anger comes back. "I'll explain it all later, tonight I just need to sleep in my own bed."

"Yeah alright. I need to go anyway."

"Not on your life." Ethan argues, grabbing Clayton's upper right arm.

"Excuse me?" Clayton challenges, trying to jerk out of his grip.

"We're not leaving you alone like this. You are coming back to our place. Try to argue with me Clayton, just try. I am much stronger than I look and I promise you, I will win." Ethan dares, looking for a fight.

"Is that a threat? You just threatened me? You fucking asshole!"

Before I knew what was happening Ethan slams Clayton into the car. Clayton responds by throwing a hard right hook, getting Ethan clear in the jaw. I react by trying to split them up but catch a fist in the lip for my efforts. I step back bleeding, watching these two go at each other so hard they fall to the ground and start rolling all over the place. Angrier than I have been in a very long time I straighten up and wave off the airport crew that run up trying to help. I stand there watching their testosterone control their emotions, while they make each other bloody. Angry I may be, but I understand it. Ethan has been needing to hit someone for days. Clayton was the perfect target in this state; he is ragging mad. He has the right to be, his world got turned upside down on him. After a good two maybe three minutes of this childish behavior I grow bored and they are starting to get dangerous. I cross my arms over my chest and stand above them. "ENOUGH!"

They both stop, take one look at me and break apart. Both are breathing heavy when they get to their feet. "Feel better?" They look at me puzzled for a moment and then nod that they do. "Good, now get in the damn car." I don't give either of them an option of driving. I watch as they climb in. Ethan chose the back seat Clayton chose the front passenger. I resist an eye roll and drive home.

When we walk into the house I look at the both of them, bloodied and bruised. "Get cleaned up." I bitch, not bothering to care how either one is feeling as I go to the kitchen sink and wash my face.

"Alec."

"Not now Clayton." I mutter, honestly not in the mood. He stands there for a moment, decides against what he was going to say and heads down the hallway to the bathroom.

Frustrated I toss the towel into the sink and look out the window. My brain hurts. After everything that happened in New York and to be welcomed back to a Clayton who managed to spin himself out of control so badly he can't string enough words together to make any damn sentence. Not to mention having the two people I care about most, kick the shit out of each other, the migraine makes sense.

Calming myself I make my way to my bedroom where I find Ethan, still bloody sitting on the bathroom sink. "I'm sorry Alec."

"It's fine. When Clayton gets like that, fighting is what he understands." I mutter, checking my swollen lip in the mirror.

"So why do you seem pissed?"

"I never said I liked it." I respond harshly. "He shouldn't have gotten like that. I want to know what the fuck happened between him and Mike."

"You and me both. Did that make any sense to you at all?" I shake my head truly at a loss. "Okay, well he is here with us now." Ethan whispers, taking my hands, "We got him."

My eyes flare and I squeeze his sore hands tightly, "Touch him like that again and I will break your damn hands." Letting him go, I close my eyes and breath, turning on the shower. "It's going to take a while to snap him out of this Ethan. Prepare for that."

Ethan and I take a quick shower and I frown as I see the bruises and cuts Clayton made on Ethan's skin. Inwardly I am smiling, at least Clayton got in some damn good blows because I know Ethan wasn't holding back. "Was the damn face necessary?" I ask, taking a closer look at Ethan's blackening eye.

"Better than our chests. He has had three heart surgeries, I was aware of who I was fighting." Ethan shrugs, "Hey, he started it." Ethan bitches.

"Mature." I reply unamused, "You started it. I know, I was there."

"Sorry." He apologizes. Ignoring his apology I lather up my body several times, trying to feel clean. Ethan is watching me and he eventually takes the soap sponge away from me. "You are going to scrub your skin off." I turn to him, shaking. The events of the past few days come crashing in on me and I can't breathe. Ethan takes me in his arms and I allow myself to fall apart, how could all of this be happening? How could any of this be real? We stand there until the water runs cold. When I start to shiver, Ethan turns off the water and hands me a towel. I take it and quickly dress myself not really talking.

I go to walk out of the bedroom but Ethan grips my wrist. "Are you going to tell him?"

"Even if he wasn't like this, it's safer if I don't." I answer.

"Then you need to put your game face on Alec, he's going to notice." Ethan frowns, touching my cheek. "You're a mess Pet."

"He won't notice tonight." I reply with a weak smile, jerking out of his grip. I take a deep breath and open the door. We walk out into the living room and I find Clayton staring at his finger, his wedding band is missing. I sit down on my couch and take his hand. "Even the girls are pissed." He looks up at me. "This is justified right? I know he didn't hurt my business when he fucked with it and his lies don't seem to have even put me in danger but damn it."

"Clayton, forgive me. What lies?" he looks at me confused. "Angel, you need to start from the beginning, with complete sentences." I explain gently, watching Ethan sit on a different couch.

Clayton takes a few breaths and tries again. "Mike is an undercover federal agent who found and eliminated fraud within Blackboard Entertainment and is currently on assignment to capture The Dolore." This information causes everything to become blaringly clear, all of a sudden Mike and his knowledge of things makes perfect sense. Everything falls into place. And everything just got a million times more dangerous. "So is this anger justified?" Clayton asks again, once he finishes.

"It's justified." I assure him, wrapping my arm around him, staring at Ethan over Clayton's head with a panicked expression. "It's also forgivable."

"Why isn't this bothering you more?" Clayton asks.

"I don't know." I reply, fixing my features, trying to give Clayton my full attention, "Honestly, I don't know a lot about Mike except that he is good for you. He never talks about his past, never references his family. And despite him living a double life, the way he feels about you has always been pretty easy to figure out." I kiss his head, "I have a feeling your life would have been completely different, if not destroyed by Ryan, had Mike not cared for you the way he does. He's been your invisible white knight all this time Clayton, don't shun him too much for stepping into the light."

"I'm wearing my ring on a necklace." He frowns. "Until I can forgive him."

"But you are going to forgive him?" I ask, arranging him more comfortably on my chest.

"I love him Master." Clayton sighs.

Ethan turns on a random movie and tosses us a blanket. "I'm going to get some food. Chinese okay?" I nod, Clayton doesn't answer. "Clayton, when is the last time you ate?" I draw my brows together at Ethan's question.

"I don't know." He answer, "A while."

Ethan looks at me really concerned. "And your medicine, when is the last time you took the stuff Brooke wanted you to for your heart?"

"I'm sick of medicine. My feet are fine, I'm done with that shit." Clayton replies, staring at the television.

I look at Ethan who is just as unhappy about those answers as I am. He walks away and comes back with a bottle of water and hands me my keys. I sort out the one to Clayton's house and hand it back to him. "Code?"

"I'll text it." I smile at him.

Ethan leaves and it takes Clayton a while to realize we are alone. "Where did he go?"

"Food." I answer, watching him.

"Are you ready to tell me what Mike said to you?"

"I did tell you."

"No Clayton, what made you want to forgive him?" I ask.

Clayton lets out a deep sigh and tells me everything he learned from Mike, including the motive behind my friends' death. Then goes on to explain everything he has been thinking while he stayed awake, waiting for my text. I realize he has gone through this emotional rollercoaster ride on no food or sleep. Which explains his behavior at the airport. When he finished his turns to me. "Your turn. What happened in New York."

"I got what I wanted. They are going to help us." I smile, trying to hide the fact I am lying to him with half-truths yet again.

"Are you sure?"

"I trust their word and I have some dirt on them. I'm sure."

"Why did you go dark?"

"Wasn't my choice." I assure him. "But I had to."

"What aren't you telling me?" Clayton challenges, causing my stomach to turn.

I shake my head but he gives me a look that tells me he isn't going to let it go. Sighing I answer him broadly. "Que gave me some surprising information." I admit, watching annoyance flash through his eyes, because he officially knows I am hiding something. "Angel, I'm sorry. I know you just got caught off guard by your own husband but you have to trust I would tell you if I could."

Clayton shakes his head, thinks about saying something but doesn't. Uncomfortable I look away. He's quite for a long while. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I shrug.

"I hate this." He tells me.

"Me too." I assure him, digging my phone out of my pocket and texting Ethan Clayton's security code.

His eyes meet mine when I put my phone on the coffee table. "Master." He swallows hard. There is that title again. He's not going to let this go. He needs this, honestly so do I. Knowing full well if I don't challenge him with it in this moment, him and I are going to fall back into a familiar, comforting role we denied each other for the comfort of others. I take a deep breath, deciding that the people in our lives need to accept us for who we are. Accepting him, I give him a strong hug, kissing the top of his head. He pulls me closer to him, "Master, are you sure aligning ourselves with the people who hurt you is the right thing to do?"

"It's the best chance we have at keeping us alive." I answer, trying not to get sick from the knots in my stomach.

"Even with Mike's help?"

I hesitate on that before I answer, "Yes."

He frowns, "You trust him Master? Mike?"

"He is my friend Clayton, his job doesn't change that for me."

"I don't trust his bosses. They have a lot of red tape and shit."

"True, but they seem to be dealing with it well as far as I can tell." I shrug. "If it bothers you this much have you ever considered asking Mike to quit?"

"I'm not sure he would." Clayton frowns. "None of us know anything about him before I hired him. Now, he feels like a stranger since he has filled in some of those holes."

"I didn't know Chloe's past." I point out, "I just knew she was paranoid as hell. But I trusted her with my life."

"I don't know how to get over this Angel." He admits, feeling defeated.

"Sleeping helps." I suggest. "Mike's never hurt you Clayton, not like Daniel."

"I loved Daniel." He whispers, fighting tears. "Fuck Bobby was right, I should have just left them both."

"Bobby wanted you to make a decision that would make you happy."

"I was happy, Mike and I were perfect. And then I find out it was all based on a lie."

"His feelings are not a lie."

"Neither were Daniel's."

"You and I both know that you didn't end it with Daniel over a lie about his past. It was simply a perfectly timed excuse." I reply coldly. If he chooses to believe that, I am going to lose my soulmate when he discovers the truth.

"Harsh."

"Truth." I pull him closer to me. "You followed your heart Clayton, it lead you to Mike. You don't need to try to rationalize that fact with an excuse. The heart isn't rational."

"How do I trust him?"

"How do you trust me?" I ask, truly needing that answer, more than anything tonight.

"That's different."

"Is it?" I respond in annoyance.

He doesn't answer me. Instead he fidgets with my fingers while he thinks. "It just is." He answers in a tone that tells me he doesn't have any other answer. I give a half smile, understanding. Clayton and I have been on an emotional rollercoaster that we so desperately need to get off of but can't seem to find the exit. Having this time together is so therapeutic for both of us that words are not necessary.

Ethan comes back later than I expected with a variety of Chinese food. He hands Clayton his medicine and an unopened bottle of water. "Take them or we go for a second round." Ethan threatens him.

Clayton cracks a small smile and takes his meds. "Thanks." He replies to my husband.

"Eat, then sleep." Ethan orders, giving Clayton a look that tells him resistance is futile.

We eat our meal in silence, watching a damn good movie that pretty much keeps us occupied. After it is over Clayton sits up, causing the shared blanket to fall on the floor. I turn my attention to him. "You are sleeping with us tonight, no arguments."

"No, it's alright. I'll only keep you awake." He dismisses.

"It's an order Clayton." I glare. He raises an eyebrow, studying me. "Do I need to make you crawl to my room to prove my point?" I ask, in a tone he knows better than to challenge.

"No Master." He answers, getting up to take care of the empty food containers.

"Master?" Ethan growls in a low voice. "Are you in some sort of Angels of Justice meeting I don't know about?"

"No, this is personal."

"Personal!" Ethan snaps, closing the distance between us. "Nothing in your life is personal without my express permission!"

I take a deep breath when I feel him tough on our collar. "I'm sorry, I forget I never really gave you details of my life." Ethan's jealous eyes glare at me. "Clayton's never let me go, nor admittedly have I wanted him to. Well he has, when Daniel damn near demanded it. But obviously the void is there again."

"So he is your submissive?"

"Yes."

"And you thought to tell me this when exactly?"

"Ethan, please."

"Is this why you fought for sex? So you two could be together anytime you wanted to?" He questions in a furious whisper.

"No." I reply stubbornly. "Master Ethan please, this isn't the time for this conversation. I promise to have it with you. But tonight…"

"He's not touching your dick!" Ethan interrupts.

"No he's not, not tonight at least and damn it you know this is more than sex!" I reply getting angry. I take a calming breath. "You seen him Ethan," I argue, keeping my voice low. "He's needs his Master. And I don't need mine being a jealous ass!"

"You have forgotten your place!" he warns. His eyes black with furry.

Our conversation is shelved instantly when Clayton walks back into the living room. "Come Clayton. Let's getting you something to sleep in. I take his hand and walk us into my bedroom, retrieving some cotton pants from my dresser. "Put these on, lay on my side of the bed." I order. I turn to Ethan when he walks in, giving him a look to dare to challenge me.

He walks up to me, grabs my ass tight and speaks very low in my ear. "I will allow this because I know the circumstance. However, I will not allow you to get away with the disrespect you have shown me tonight. Prepare yourself my pet, you will be punished the moment we are alone until I say otherwise."

"As you wish Master." I reply, quietly in anger yet give him a tender kiss. Annoyed at him I step away quickly and lay down in the middle of the bed. Ethan turns out the lights as I pull Clayton into me. Ethan lays on the other side of me and holds me. I kiss the back of Clayton's head and that is when I feel the tear slip onto my arm. I pull him impossibly closer, letting him know I am there. None of us speak, yet I know none of us are asleep. It takes hours before Clayton's body finally comes to a rest.

"Pet." Ethan whispers after Clayton starts to softly snore.

"Master." I reply, feeling his hand around my neck and him squeezing tightly. He lets go after a long while only to do it again. I struggle to keep still and allow it.

"You belong to me." I nod, accepting the bruises I know he is leaving. "I decide who submits to you."

I close my eyes in the dark. Every fiber in my being wants to tell him to go fuck himself; that Clayton is a deal breaker, but I know that is not what needs to be done. Not completely confident I am going to be able to accept the answer to this question, I decide to ask it. "May Clayton have that honor?"

"Good Pet, that is your place." He praises, releasing my neck. "All final decisions are mine, don't forget that again." He whispers, in my ear. I close my eyes, my heart is racing. We both know that statement could be challenged after what happened in New York. But that is something I would rather not do, not if I don't have to. But if he is ignorant enough to deny this, he will learn real quick that I am not above the challenge. "You haven't earned an answer, even if I had one to give." He tells me, bringing me out of my dangerous thoughts. My breath shakes. "You know I cannot think clearly when I am angry Alec, don't attempt to push for an answer before I am ready, you won't like it." He warns. I swallow hard. "Tell me Pet, how do you get your Master to calm?"

"I accept your punishment." I reply.

"Good boy." He whispers. "Will accepting my punishment guarantee Clayton the honor?"

Goosebumps travel up my skin. "No Master."

"Why not?"

"Because the choice is yours and yours alone. It cannot be cohosted or manipulated. The punishment is a stand alone event for my disrespect to you. You are not trading pain for acceptance to my request." I answer with words he wants to hear.

"You understand me very well Pet." He praises, "I will admit that does help with my anger." He runs his fingers up and down my arm. "Sleep now and remember, the sooner Clayton gives us alone time, the sooner you will have your answer."

"Thank you Master." Anxiety of the past few nights events keeps me from a good nights sleep but a restless sleep did eventually come.


	46. Jealousy Is Not Tolerated

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Jealousy Is Not Tolerated**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

When the morning light hits my face I roll over expecting Mike's face and frown when I see Alec's. Everything comes rushing back to me. I find my wedding band on my neck. How did everything get so twisted? "Dwelling solves nothing." I whisper to myself in the morning light. I carefully get out of bed, so not to disturb the others. Quietly, I get dressed then I moved to wake Alec. That is when I notice the bruising on his neck that wasn't there last night. Anger hits me like a freight train and instead of waking Alec, I wake Ethan by wrapping my hand round his throat. His eyes widen in shock as he reaches for my grip. I glare at him and put my lips to his ear.

"If I ever see bruises on him like that again, I will kill you." I warn in a dangerous voice. "Alec is your willful slave, never forget he can say no." I let Ethan breathe but keep my hand on his windpipe. "Being jealous of me is a very bad idea." I add, letting go and walking out of the room.

I hear Ethan cough and am not at all surprised to find he followed me to the kitchen. "You have nerve!"

"I have money." I reply seriously. "I can make Alec disappear just as easily as you can. And when I do, you will never find him!"

"Right because he will go for that!"" Ethan challenges.

"Unlike you, all I have to do is ask!" I goat half wondering if my bluff is true. Ethan steps back wounded. He believes it, that is all that matters in this moment.

"I don't want a pissing contest Clayton."

"Then don't ever get jealous of me again." I shrug. "And keep the bruising to where he can hide it. I know Alec has taken time off from the center lately but he mentors kids!" I vent, stepping up to Ethan and pushing him into the counter. Before he can react I pin his wrists behind his back. He struggles but I am able to keep him still with my body as I tangle our legs together.

"You want your ass kicked!" he growls.

"No, I want to show you who the Dominate is." I respond taking my free hand and gripping the back of his neck. Ethan looks up at me glaring. I jerk his lips toward mine as he tries to struggle. "Conceded Ethan. Accept I am a part of his life in anyway him and I desire."

"He is mine!" Ethan responds, refusing.

"No, he is ours." I correct. I lean closer. "Conceded Ethan or lose him."

"What the hell is going one?" Alec asks, walking in on us.

"Clayton thinks he is more important to you than I am." Ethan answers in a dark tone.

"Seriously?" Alec asks in annoyance.

I refuse to move, Ethan struggles fruitlessly. "Let him go Clayton." Alec orders. I don't move. "Let him go and kneel!" Alec demands. My eyes flash with furry but I let Ethan go, walk over to Alec and kneel as commanded. "What brought this on?" My Master asks, touching my face. My eyes meet his, I am surprised he is not angry.

"He is jealous of us Master." Ethan nor Alec deny my accusations.

Alec turns his head to Ethan. "Don't look at me," Ethan defends. "I am the one who woke to Clayton's hand on my throat."

Alec jerks his attention back to me. "Is that true?"

"Yes Master." I answer without remorse. "He had hurt you because of his jealousy." I defend.

Alec makes a pained facial expression and I can tell he is fighting a migraine, "That does not give you the right . . ."

"To hell it doesn't!" I lash out, interrupting him.

Alec drops his hand from my face, "What is it going to take for you two to accept each other?"

"I'm trying Master." I reply in a pained voice that surprises even me. "I have accepted a lot of shockwaves recently. Please, don't ask me to accept jealousy on top of it."

Alec looks between me and Ethan. "I won't Clayton," he assures me. "On that you have my word."

I close my eyes, "Thank you Master." I open my eyes in time to see Ethan stalking out of the room. "Permission to be equal?" I request.

"Granted."

I stand up and meet his eyes. I lift my hand and my thumb grazes across his new bruises. "I won't apologize." I warn him, stepping close. My lips linger near his and I make contact. He tries to end it but I refuse. Instead I demand more, more than I have in a very long time. I keep my eyes open and watch the shock in his face when he realizes what I am doing. He trembles in my arms, his defenses falling and his resistance turning to acceptance. I moan in praise when he kisses me back with the love and tenderness we have been denying each other ever since our last time together. He whimpers when I finally break it. "We are a package deal Angel." I remind him. "No one can ever break that." He takes an unsteady breath. "We swore forever. I am holding you to it."

He closes his eyes and leans his head on my shoulder. "Package deal." He whispers.

I pull away in triumph. "I have to go." I tell him, checking my watch.

Before I can turn on my heel he calls out to me. "Clayton," I meet his eyes. "Don't ever kiss me like that again." I give him a look of pain, asking silently if he really meant that. His eyes are stern yet vulnerable. I know he means that today, but if we both chose not to be with the men we are married to, we both know I could kiss him like that for an eternity.

"I love you." I reply, refusing to apologize. He doesn't say it back, he doesn't need to. I make my way out of that house before I could run into Ethan again.

When I turn on my car I frown at the time. I really should be at the office. But the office is the last place in the world I want to be. Knowing I wouldn't be able to concentrate if I wanted to right now I call Zach and ask him to push back all of my meetings. Then I make myself to Mike's apartment. I find myself knocking on his front door before I can talk myself out of it and it occurs to me that he might not be home, despite him taking a vacation from Blackboard Entertainment. Truthfully I am surprised he answers just as much as he is surprised to see me.

"I know I asked for distance, but I …" I stop. "Can I please come in?"

"Of course." He smiles. I walk in and find myself on his couch, not that it was a long walk to get to it. "Is everything alright?"

"I kissed Alec." I blurt our causing him to flinch. "I mean, I really kissed him. The kind of kiss that expresses things." I look at my hands, "Things him and I haven't said or expressed in a very long time." I hear Mike swallow and I look up at him. I can tell my words hurt. "It was a knee jerk reaction to Ethan." I explain taking a hard breath. "Ethan's a jealous prick and needs to figure out Alec and I are a package deal."

"Ok?" Mike questions.

"I'm not telling you this to hurt you." He gives me a doubtful look. "I am telling you because I believe in open, honest communication. I didn't do it to hurt you." His face turns even more disbelieving. "Mike, I need him." Mike's brows pull together. "Almost as much as I need you."

"I'm really confused here Clay. We've established that he is within limits."

"We've established that he can be my Master." I correct. "There isn't a contract Mike, this was not something anyone has agreed upon." I take Mike by the hand and pull him into me. "You have to know I would never do anything to jeopardize you and me. Nor, despite my distaste, would I do anything to harm Alec's marriage either."

"I trust you Clay." Mike whispers. "And this needless guilt, it's nice. But you forget I am not a jealous man. Especially when you do something like this and run straight to me." I smile on his neck, and begin to tease him.

"You should be working." He protest, getting some distance.

"So should you."

"Do you have any idea the headache you cause when you chose to skip work like this?" Mike bitches. I look at him with a raised eyebrow, "Do you need to be somewhere?"

"No, I am on mandatory vacation remember. Without one of us there, your office will be chaos."

"Zach is there."

"Zach is on the verge of a record deal you are offering. His mind is more on his music than his current job."

"I thought there were three people in the background doing your job." I challenge.

"They are, but I am the one giving the direction, otherwise they tend to just do their undercover job." He frowns.

"Why are you trying to get me to leave? Hot date?"

"No." he rolls his eyes, "I just want to rip your fucking clothes off."

"Should I go then?" I ask, respecting that we are not there right now.

"Probably, but I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"What's that baby?"

"I am ready to accept your offer. I want to be your submissive."

My flash into liquid and I lift my head up to look at him. "Are you sure you are aware of what that means? That I will keep you forever."

"Yes." He answers, climbing off of me and falling to his knees before me, "Please."

"Good." I whisper, tugging the back of his short hair to tilt his head. He gasps when my lips make contact with his exposed neck. I am rough with the mark I leave, no preparation, just my teeth sinking deep into his skin, causing him to cry out. I pin his wrists while I suck on his trapped skin, knowing I am delivering pain. I let my teeth unclamp and reclamp several times before I finally release him; leaving behind a very large, very dark bruise. My lips move to his ear, barely touching. "Every day of forever you will receive a fresh mark on your beautiful body from you Master. Wear each and every one of them proudly, for you are mine." He gasps and I pull away from him. Knowing I made my point and wanting him to bask in the submissive glow, I rise, cross the small room and open the front door. "I love you. I will see you tomorrow." I don't wait for a response, and exit quickly; smiling to myself.


	47. Stand By Me

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Stand By Me**

 **Alec's Point of View**

Six weeks have passed since Ethan and I have gotten married. Mike has had his department take it Bobby's case away from the local police, connecting the dots between his murder and his co-workers murder. Dale and Faith have decided to jump a plane and find a new life for themselves. I can't blame them really, honestly, I envy them. Then again I tried that once, and look how that turned out. The people I ran away from are now considered my family because my heart couldn't let go of someone who showed me true kindness, compassion, and love.

Clayton and Mike have had an interesting time lately. They are both going stir crazy from the lack of sex. But they seem to be communicating and working through their issues. I was concerned at first though, at one point Mike too was wearing his wedding band around his neck. When I asked Clayton he just shrugged and told me that it will all work out in time. He wasn't wrong, about a week ago Mike started to wear his band more traditionally, Clayton however, has not.

I have to say I was impressed that Clayton hasn't been running to me in pieces every five minutes because of their troubles. Which admittedly at first concerned me, but Clayton expressed his confidence that he isn't worried things are over, and he trusts Mike. That is massive emotional growth for him. The moment he told me that, all my reservations I ever had about Mike evaporated. Clayton is in a very healthy relationship and I could not be happier for him.

Ethan and Clayton however, are still proving to be tense around each other. It is starting to piss me off. I wish I could say it was unexpected but in all honesty him and Clayton getting along as well as they did when Ethan started showing up was the unexpected part. I know they were both trying for me but it isn't easy on either of them. Clayton claims it is Ethan's jealousy but Ethan isn't wrong in pointing out that Clayton is also jealous of him. Thinking about it gives me a migraine.

Clayton did not help the day he tried to dominate Ethan in my kitchen. On the contrary, Ethan reacted as I expected he would and denied his acceptance of having Clayton as my submissive. When I told Clayton that starting up our D/s relation was a bad idea. Clayton went straight to Ethan, screaming at the top of his lungs. The fight came to blows in a hurry and only ended when Clayton keeled over in pain from his chest. Ethan had not touched his chest, but Clayton was simply too worked up. I was beyond angry, not to mention scared. Clayton turned out to be fine, which I am grateful for, but I packed a bag and crashed at the Youth Center for a week, refusing to talk to either one of them because of it.

I wish I could say that worked but it didn't. When I came home Ethan was so furious with me he gave me the silent treatment for two straight weeks. Not that he ignored me, on the contrary, he made sure I submitted to him nightly but denied me speech and refused to speak to me in return. It was beyond exhausting. Still I chose to spend time with Clayton after work, none the less. Clayton pushed me at times but I made him swear he would respect my husband's wishes, as I would respect his husband. Fuck was he pissed and hurt. Hell I am hurt. Clayton needs me and I was being denied the ability to be there for him. I cannot tell you the number of nights I was tempted to resolve the situation in a not so conventional matter. I knew if I did however, it would change everything and that is not something I want. In the end it took Ethan witnessing me break yet another glass against the wall before he finally spoke to me again.

"Pet." He had whispered. I looked at him defeated and angry. "Are you thinking of Bobby?" The question stings a little but I shake it off, shaking my head no in response. "This is sudden shrinkage of glasswear over Clayton?" he asks, his eyes flashing in jealousy. I turn away from him. "Why must you push this Pet? You know I would never stand in the way of your friendship with him, but you are asking for me to allow something truly intimate with the only other man alive that has a piece of your heart and soul."

"I come home to you." I whisper, knowing I shouldn't be speaking. "Even when you make it uncomfortable to be here; I chose to be with you." I ball my hands into fists, staring at the pieces of shattered glass on the floor, "Your denial hurts Master."

"Hurts Clayton?"

"Hurts me." I clarify, cleaning up my mess slowly. "Had Lance taken me back and you were denied dominating me; would it have not have hurt you?"

"You are comparing this to Lance!" he asks, his eyes widening in shock.

"Yes." I look up at him, closing my fist around a large piece of glass, half satisfied from the feel of it dig into my skin causing warm blood filling my palm. "He needs me Master. I need him. Just as you and I need each other. Please."

"Shh Pet, no more talking." He whispers, causing me to look away. He puts his arms around me but I refuse his touch by showing him the blood and step away. I apologize for the mess and promise to clean it up after I take care of my own hand.

A few days later Ethan invites Clayton over for dinner. He has me cook the entire four course meal and he is still denying my ability to speak. I receive a stern warning of the consequences of doing so if I chose to defy Ethan when Clayton arrives. What irritates me most is that I denied the curtesy of warning Clayton. When Clayton arrives I severe us our appetizers and sit at the table. My eyes meet Clayton's, pleading with him to be understanding.

"Good evening Clayton." Ethan greets, sitting down between us. "You must forgive my pet if he seems standoffish, he does not have my permission to speak."

Clayton glares at Ethan, but I cough, causing his angry expression to flash to me. My eyes were pleading. Clayton's snaps his back to Ethan. "Why am I here?"

"Because my pet refuses to let this go." Ethan sighs, taking some chips and scooping a small portion of spinach dip onto a small plate.

"You expect him to?" Clayton asks astonished.

"I expect you to respect me." Ethan replies. "Eat, Alec has gone to a lot of trouble."

I watch Clayton reluctantly make a small plate for himself. "I have respected you Ethan." Clayton points out. "Despite Alec's willingness to take me back as his submissive, I have not kneeled for him since the day you and I had a disagreement in this very kitchen. Not that Alec and I haven't wanted to; but because you have not wanted him to dominate me." Clayton pops a chip in his mouth.

"Yes, I am aware that you are respecting Alec's request in your friendship." Ethan responds, taking a drink. Clayton stops chewing and stares at him. "But what I need, in order to accept the fact that my husband, my slave, wants to be extremely intimate with you again, is for you to respect me personally."

"How?" Clayton asks cautiously.

"Are you aware that every single target that Angels of Justice went after was approved by me?"

"No." Clayton replies evenly, looking to me for confirmation. I nod my head.

"In reality Clayton, I have always been the one in charge." Ethan points out, causing Clayton to push his plate away. I clear my throat, my eyes pleading.

"What do you want Ethan?" Clayton asks.

"Nothing." Ethan shrugs. "Unless you want to kneel for my pet again." Clayton's eyes harden. Everyone could hear their own heartbeats. "If that is the case Clayton, you would have to concede to me."

I lean back in my chair, my eyes widening in shock. Clayton takes in my reaction, he knows that Ethan just surprised us both.

"Concede how?"

"Group sessions, the three, or four of us if you prefer; where I am the one in charge."

Clayton takes a drink and slowly sets his glass down. "That is something I would have to discuss thoroughly with my husband." He finally replies.

"Fair enough." Ethan smiles. "But explain to him it is the only way I will allow you to kneel for my pet."

"So no solo sessions?" Clayton asks.

"Those would be earned. We are not there." Ethan answers in a cold voice.

"Alec, is this what you want?" Clayton asks me. I drop my eyes down, unsure what I wanted at this point; unsure what Clayton wanted.

"Alec wants us to come to an understanding." Ethan replies for me. "You two have a very devoted to friendship. I respect that. Hell I support it. But this … I am trying here Clayton."

"You think we came to this reality lightly?" Clayton asks, insulted. "You think we don't have our own reservations about it? I didn't ask for this Ethan. Alec recognized my need. A need Mike can't fill for me, just as Bobby couldn't fulfill it for Alec. Think back, what could have happened to Alec, hell even you, if Bobby couldn't have accepted him going to you? That is where Alec and I are headed."

"Then accept my offer and be done with this!"

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I don't trust you enough to kneel for you." Clayton answers truthfully. My eyes flash to his. He gives me an apologetic look. I give him a silent nod.

"It seems we are at an impasse." Ethan sighs, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

"No, we are not. You need to get past this Ethan. You need to accept and trust us. It is the only way. Otherwise, I swear, you will lose him forever."

"Clayton!" I snap.

"Tell me I'm wrong Master! Tell me this doesn't have the potential of destroying what you two have."

I drop my eyes to my hands, "I can't."

"You claim to love him Ethan, if that is truly the case than you really need to make more effort to understand him!" Clayton snaps. Ethan's hands ball into a fist and I put mine on top of his left hand, trying to keep him calm. "Alec is a switch, he has been since I met him. He needs both sides. He trusts both of us. I trust you with him Ethan, because he has asked me to. I don't like it, but I make the effort because I know he needs you. You are the problem Ethan. You need to accept that he has chosen his submissive wisely. He trusts me, he is asking you to trust him with me because he needs you to. He isn't asking that you like it."

"Says the man who has threatened to make him disappear."

"You went too far." Clayton defends.

"So did you." I add, causing Clayton to turn to me.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. But to my defense he is the first man in your life you ever tolerated jealousy from." Clayton snips. "Especially jealousy of me." I give a nod to that, Clayton isn't wrong. It doesn't help my head with these migraines but the man has a point.

"How does Mike feel about all of this?" Ethan asks after studying me.

"He accepts it, but he doesn't like it. He doesn't have to. He does have to trust me." Clayton answers, bringing the problem back into focus.

"I trust Alec." Ethan snaps.

"Do you?" Clayton snarks.

"This has nothing to do with trust. I simply don't like to share." Ethan argues.

"Then you should have never married a man who has a soul mate as his best friend." Clayton replies dryly.

I rest my arms flat on the table and drop my head into them, fighting a now massive migraine. Will these two ever stop? Clayton has obviously drawn a line in the sand and is expecting Ethan to see his reasoning. Ethan is stubborn on a good day, and I know he feels that accepting this undermines his authority of me. This is an impossible situation. I am hurt no matter what happens. If Clayton loses, then he is right, I won't be able to forgive Ethan for it and it will erode my marriage one way or the other. If Ethan loses, I once again hurt the man I love for my needs. And that too has the potential of eroding my marriage.

"Pet?" Ethan acknowledges, rubbing my back lightly.

I lift my head, regretting doing so. I squint in pain. "I love both of you. I don't want to choose. I don't want my love for either of you to hurt the other. I understand that it does. I am sorry for that." I reply standing up and walking away from them. I don't know what else to say. I find myself alone in my kitchen and my memory flashes back to the kiss that Clayton gave me just a few short weeks ago. A kiss that brought back so many emotions and feelings I had only managed to bury with Bobby at my side. But now they have surfaced, and they are raw and needy. I am annoyed with myself. Clayton and I both chose other men. We both married. Yet even after we start our lives out, we are longing for each other. Half of us feels empty.

I start to work with putting food on plates and it hits me. Clayton and I are both true switches. I never stopped. I had Bobby and Ethan the entire time. Clayton tried to go solo with Daniel and it proved to be a catastrophe. If I can't supply Clayton with this need it is going to destroy him and Mike because Clayton will try it, I know him. He doesn't trust anyone else like this. Fuck I can't watch him go through that emotional rollercoaster again. I won't. Ethan will understand, I just need to explain it right.

I finish setting up the plates and I walk back into the dining room, watching them both stare each other down. "Let me explain what I see happening here." I start, setting the plates down and ignoring Ethan's warning look about me talking out of turn. "If Clayton and I are denied this connection then Clayton is going to turn to the only other man he trusts and that is Mike. Him and Mike will then proceed to attempt to make it work and most likely end in chaos as it did with Daniel. Their marriage will crumble and I will carry the guilt of that so much that mine will too." I find my seat. "If Clayton and I are allowed to have this connection then it is going to hurt Ethan. Just like it hurt Clayton when I got married behind his back. Something I only concealed from him at first because he had threatened our friendship over it." Ethan looks at me in surprise. "Me being yours hurts him Master, just as much as him being mine will hurt you. But Clayton and I are strong enough to get through it. I am asking, are we that strong?"

Ethan stabs his food. "I don't like it."

"I know." I reply, feeling guilty.

Ethan picks up a portion of his fish and points it at Clayton. "I don't want to see it, do you understand? No marks will be left on my pet, ever. That part of your relationship is kept away from me at all times. And if you chose to fuck, well I won't stop you, but I don't want it interfering with my sex life." My eyes flash to Ethan in shock. Clayton chokes on his food. Neither of us expected that. "Please," Ethan growls annoyed, "I don't want to ever talk about it again. So why put any damn restrictions on it. If you do you do, if you don't you don't. That is between you two and what Mike is comfortable with. But don't ever tell me one fucking way or the other. I don't want to know."

"Thank you Master." I smile, truly happy.

"Yes Ethan, thank you." Clayton smiles, offering his hand. Ethan takes it and they shake on it.

The rest of the meal is a blur. After dinner I put the dishes in the kitchen but Clayton kicks me out, insisting that he cleans up since I cooked. Not in the mood to for any type of argument I give him a quick hug then make my way to the living room where Ethan is trying to decide on a movie. I take the remote from his hand, and straddle his lap.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

He glares, pulling me into him. "I am going to punish you for talking out of turn." He grips my neck, bringing me to his lips. "But not as severely as I threatened." I cry out from the feel of his teeth sinking into the base of my neck. I fucking hate hickeys and he knows it. I try to struggle but he corrects me with his muffled voice, holding me close. I wince in pain while I accept his mark. Finally he lets go. "Other side." He orders. I give him a pleading look but he ignores it, pushing my neck to the angle he desires so he can mark me. I grip his upper arms, while he delivers the pain. When he lets blood flow return he grips the lock of my collar, keeping me close. "You need to learn to accept these."

"Master?" I protest.

"It is the language that Clayton understands." Ethan explains. "And if he gets to see you naked he will be reminded that you belong to me."

Ethan is right, the hickeys are something that Clayton will respect more than my collar ever will. "As you wish Master."

"Drop your pants." Ethan orders, gently pushing me off of his lap. He reaches over to one of the end tables and opens the drawer. I frown at the cock cage, plug and nipple clamps that he presents. I don't argue with him as he traps my cock and balls into the cold steel and locks it. Nor do I complain when I feel the now lubed steel plug being firmly pushed inside of my body. He dresses me quickly and brings me back onto his lap. "Lift your shirt." I do so, my eyes catching Clayton entering the room. Ethan feels me tense but ignores my reaction. I feel his warm mouth surround my right nipple and tease. Almost instantly my body responds to him. He rubs his tongue over my aroused nipple a little longer before he pulls away and blows cold air on it, causing goosebumps. I curse when I feel the nipple clamp grab my sensitive skin, they are alligator grips. He jerks at the chain while he takes my left nipple into his mouth. I try stay still, avoiding Clayton's stare while my body involuntarily responds to Ethan. The second clamp is more painful than the first. Ethan tugs on the dangling chain. I watch as he decides something and then I find my arms above my head as my t-shirt is discarded onto the floor. He brings my hands to my sides and tugs on the chain again. Then he brings it up and puts it in firmly in my mouth. I wince, the chain isn't all that long and doing this tugs on my nipples in the most painful way, causing my dick to twitch and forced to accept that it cannot harden against the steel.

Ethan flips me like a rag doll and places me across his lap. He then picks up the remote and turns his attention to Clayton, pressing lightly on my forehead as a silent order to keep my neck extended for maximum tension on my nipples. "Anything interest you?"

"I am in the mood for some action." Clayton shrugs, keeping his eyes on the television. "No drama, had enough of that for today."

Ethan picks an action movie. Once it is cued up he releases my forehead and brings me into him. He pulls the blanket off of the couch and covers us both up with it, but he keeps my neck and shoulders exposed. The movie was half interesting from what I could make of it. Ethan was determined to make me suffer through it. He was very settle about it, simply kissing my neck and shoulders and tapping at my nipple clamps. My cock was in agony from the denial of physical arousal. Several times I had to close my eyes to keep from whimpering. Each time I opened them I check to make sure Clayton was okay. He seemed to be. He pretty much kept his attention on the screen the entire time and ignored us. By the time the movie concluded both my nipples and my cock were sore. I sat up and Clayton turned to us.

"I should be going. Early day tomorrow." Clayton yawns.

"When are you ever going to forgive Mike?" I ask Clayton, knowing his mornings have been starting out at Mike's apartment lately, despite the fact they closed on their house two weeks ago and neither are living there with the excuse of needing to finish decorating it first. My sore body protests at the question as the chain is still in my mouth.

"I don't know." He frowns.

"You can't punish him forever Clayton." He raises an eyebrow at me, looking from the chain on my nipples before meeting my eyes. "I'm serious." I add, ignoring him.

"There is something he hasn't told me." Clayton answer seriously, "And until he does, we are not ready for me to forgive him."

"What would that be?"

"I don't know." Clayton admits. "But I know he is holding back." He hugs me then takes a step back. "Good night Alec, Ethan." He says walking to the front door. I follow him to it, opening it for him. He steps close to my ear, "Thank you for fighting for us Master." He whispers, kissing the cheek that is blocked from Ethan's view. "I love you." I squeeze his hand in response and watch him get in the car and leave.

The instant I close and lock the front door I turn to my Master. He slowly walks up to me, takes the chain out of my mouth and pulls at it until the damn stubborn clamps let go. I whimper from the agony of it. "Four days." He tells me. "That is how long you will wear your cage." I nod in acceptance. "Starting tomorrow." He shows me the key to my freedom and places it on his necklace. "Thank me for not punishing harsher than this." I drop to my knees happily willing to please him.


	48. Glaring Truths

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Glaring Truths**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

I find myself at Mike's door. Technically I am not supposed to be there until the morning but I am in no mood to be alone. Mike answers with a surprised look. I say nothing, bringing him into my arms. He backs us out of the doorway and closes the door. "Clay?" I don't answer him, instead I back up and kiss him tenderly. He kisses me back cautiously at first but it soon becomes heated, very quickly. We almost rip the shirts off of one another, trying to get to each other skin. "Clay." He moans, when my lips break away from his and travel down his neck. I feel his hands rest on my hips while I bring my teeth to his shoulder. I bite hard causing him to curse out loud. I smile, sucking his trapped skin to leave a beautiful mark behind. When I unclamp my jaw I kiss back up his neck, causing him to press his hard cock into mine. "Clay." He whispers, bringing his right index finger up to the bottom of my neck and placing it through my wedding band, tugging a little to get my attention. I drop my head on his shoulder in frustration. His hand tangles into my hair, kissing my neck in comfort.

I pull away from his touch, gathering both our shirts and tossing his to him. I keep my back to him while I put mine on. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't come."

"It's okay, I want you here." He whispers.

"What aren't you telling me Mike? What are you holding back?" I ask, spinning around and staring at him.

He studies me for a very long time. "There are things that I am not allowed to . . ."

"I am your HUSBAND!" I scream, interrupting him.

He takes a deep sigh, dressing himself. "Yes, you are."

"Do you not want us to get past this? Would you rather we divorce?" He closes his eyes in pain. "Damn it Mike! You want this to work I need everything! Especially if you want to kneel for me!"

"You realize you are asking me to break laws? Laws that could get me a one way ticket to federal prison."

"Do you not trust me?"

"I trust you Clay. I just don't trust that you would not tell Alec and he would tell Ethan." He explains.

"No Mike, not if you ask me not to. You must trust what is said between us, stays between us."

"You say that now."

"I mean it." I reply, closing the distance I made, keeping my eyes locked on his.

"Clay, once you know something you can't unknow it."

"Stop protecting me and tell me." I whisper, wrapping my arms around him.

"Are you sure?" I nod, waiting. He takes a very slow breath. "The motive behind the fire had everything to do with a mission going very far south. Rachel got caught by The Dolore. Chloe tried to save her, she got Rachel out. But it was too late, their cover was blown. I don't know if they figured out who Kyle was or if they just assumed Kyle and Levi were apart of it. Either way, my cover wasn't exposed. If it was, I would be dead by now."

"How did she get caught?"

"The guy she was dating betrayed her. Did extensive background checks, the whole nine and yet, he was a mole."

"Just like Isaac." I frown.

"The parallel does not escape me." Mike assures me. "There is a huge internal investigation going on."

"You think you have a traitor amongst you?"

"Only way to explain two slips that resulted in a body count." Mike sighs.

"I want you to quit." I decide.

"Not until this is over."

"I hate that you are in danger." I protest.

"So now you know how it feels."

"I'm sorry." I whisper, sincerely.

"You're forgiven, you know that." He replies with a smile, pointing to his wedding ring on his finger.

I smile at him, "Is there anything else you are not telling me?"

"I hate that you are a part of the Angles of Justice and walk around with a target on your back."

"So are you."

"That's different." He argues.

I take his hands, "It isn't." "This needs to end Mike. And it isn't something we can just walk away from. We need to get Xzavier."

"You think I don't know that?"

"We need to force it, we can't wait for it to happen. We're sitting ducks."

"How do you suggest we do that?"

"Angles of Justice needs to go after a known Dolore member."

"That is insane!" he argues, pulling his hands away.

"No, it's war. And it is the only move we can make unless you want to roll over and wait for them like last time. They killed Daniel, Ben and Amber before we even had a chance to process what we were up against. I didn't even get a chance to warn anyone there was danger." I swallow hard, "But if we strike now, it is controlled."

"I don't want to put you in danger."

"And now you understand why your boss was pissed that you married me." I reply, with a glare.

"Not funny."

"Not meant to be."

"Clay, it's dangerous."

"So is waiting around doing nothing." I argue.

"It's not up to me."

"You're right. It's up to Alec and I."

"No, please Clay, don't do this without my help."

"Then get on board, because it is happening one way or the other."

"Fine, but let's be smart about it okay. I can't handle any more death on my conscious."

"Oh my God that's it isn't it?" I whisper, staring at him. "The motive behind the fire was a piece of what you were holding back on me. But not all of it."

"I don't know what you mean, you know everything, you know too much. I'm serious Clay, Alec can't know about the fire's motive."

"What I mean is you feel responsible for Daniel's death."

"Daniel's, Ben's, Amber's …" he admits. "You told me the threat, I got it out in time. They were being watched. But Isaac fooled me. And I still haven't been able to find him."

"You didn't kill them Mike."

"It feels that way." He admits, looking away from me. "You loved him and I let him down."

"Stop." I whisper, touching his cheek with the back of my hand. "I know you and your team did everything they could. I don't blame you." Tears slip out of his eyes and onto my fingers. "Logan Michael, I forgive you." His breath intakes sharply and my lips meet his. Everything is hungry but he pulls away.

"What is it?"

"There is something you haven't told me."

"Is there?"

"Why don't let many people call you Clay?" he asks. "I only know of four; your parents, Ryan and myself."

I smile at the topic change, the past ten minutes really is a lot to process. "Those four people that you just mentioned loved me completely and I loved them in return."

"I'm confused." Mike admits. "Alec? Daniel?"

I give a hard sigh. "I always held back with Alec. Ryan had hurt me so much and to risk … having Alec use my full name helped me keep my distance."

"And Daniel?"

"I don't know. He tried to use it after he came back but to hear it come from his lips and not yours … It didn't feel right."

"It is wrong that makes me smile?"

"No." I smile at him. "Speaking of Alec, I just came from there."

"Oh?"

"Ethan has finally agreed to allow me to submit to Alec."

"Good." Mike smiles, unphased.

"He mentioned never wanting any knowledge whatsoever of it and that we could fuck if we desired."

"Oh." Mike replies, his smile dropping from his face.

"Mike if you are uncomfortable . . ."

"Not at all, my mind just flashed to Alec fucking you while you fuck me."

I give a small laugh. "Oh really? That turns you on does it?"

"You have no idea." He replies, his eyes flashing. Our lips collide but he pushes me back. I give him a groan of frustration. "Put it on." He whispers, hooking his index finger in my wedding band. "Please."

Understanding I work the annoying clasp and drop the ring into the palm of my hand. "Put it where it belongs Mike." I whisper. He takes it from me and puts it on my left forefinger. When it is secure I look into his eyes, "Forgiven."

"Thank you." He moans, colliding our lips hungrily. Our hands move into quick action, moving hindering fabric out of the way. We kick it all aside. I am surprised when he bends at the knees, wraps his arms around my ass and hikes me onto his hips. Not that I am complaining. Our lips lock while he walks the way too short of a distance to his bedroom and lays me down on his bed.

He breaks away kissing my chest while his hands, hungrily touch me. I lay there for a moment enjoying the sensation, dragging my nails down his back before I yank him by the armpits, tossing him onto the mattress and pinning him with my weight. Our eyes meet, I smile at him. "I hope you don't plan on sleeping tonight darlin'."

"I don't need fucking sleep Clay, I need you." He moans, grabbing my cock and placing it between his legs.

"Wait." I stop, pulling away. It's his turn to let out a frustrated growl. "There is something else."

"It can wait." He bitches, grabbing my naked cock and stroking it.

I gasp, cursing under my breath, it has been way to fucking long. I grab his teasing hand and pin him to the mattress. "I love you, I forgive you." I start staring in his eyes. "I want an open marriage." He stops breathing and his face turns from passion to pain. "Don't." I demand. "I am not trying to hurt you, I am trying to love you. You have agreed to sharing me with Alec, it is only fair."

"You have chased off every last person who has ever thought about loving me and now you want to share me?" Mike asks confused, his cock going limp.

"I never chased off Levi." I correct.

"He wasn't exactly a threat." Mike scowls. "I don't want anyone else Clay."

"Then don't go looking for anyone. I am just saying if ever you wanted to, it won't break us."

"I appreciate the option. Just never bring it up again. Leave the choice to me."

"I can do that." I smile, dropping my lips to his neck. It takes a while for him to shut his mind off and simply feel my lips on his skin. When he finally relaxes and his dick stiffens, I move my lips right above his heart and I bite him hard, without warning, sucking on his delicious skin.

"Fuck Clay!" He gasps, struggling under me. I laugh, clenching harder while I keep him pinned. I suck his skin deeper into my mouth licking it lightly. He grunts from the agony of it. Slowly I release my jaw only to clamp it again and again. "Yours. I am yours." He gasps, trying to accept the pain. When I finally relax my jaw, he hisses at the blood circulation. I lick his beautiful mark.

"Do you have any toys here? Any bondage?" I ask, moving my lips to his nipple.

"No, nothing." He answers, whimpering at my teeth clamping on his sensitive skin.

"You are moving out of here tomorrow." I tell him. "Your belongings will be at our place when I come home. I will find you kneeling for me upon my arrival and we will break in our playroom."

"Yes Master." He gasps.

"As for tonight," I growl, "It is time to see how disciplined you really are!"

"Master please don't tease, it's been too long!" he begs in a whimper.

"Don't worry Logan Michael you will cum tonight." I whisper, my eyes flashing. He lets out a frustrated pouts, causing me to smile wider. He knows I am up to something. "After I do."

He whimpers before composing himself. "How may I serve you Master?"

"The rules for tonight are very simple." I smile. "I am going to please you for the next few hours. You are going to simply lay here and enjoy it. Touching me or squirming will only prolong my pleasuring assault on your body. After I am satisfied then and only then will I find my pleasure in your body and a little while after I cum, if you are very good, I will allow you to cum from more pleasuring assault. At no point will you take control nor will you cum without permission. Doing so will lead to sever punishment."

His eager dick had started to leak the moment he heard me laying out the rules. I slowly lick up his taste before I swallow him straight down my throat. He cusses and I can feel the sheets move while he clings onto them for mental support. I refuse to go easy on him. I know his body well and I bring him to the brink easily. "Clay fuck! Please!" I look up at him with a hard glare, getting his attention with a slight use of my teeth. "Fuck, Master, sorry!" he corrects himself, trying desperately not to buck his hips. "I want to cum, please I am going to cum!" I refuse to stop, causing him to curse again. It takes an immense about of energy for him to be good for me, his body beading into sweat long before his dick finally goes soft. He cries out in pain when he manages to resist the orgasm.

When I am sure the urge is gone I kiss up his happy trail to his chest. "Good boy." I praise. He is breathing heavy underneath me. "That hurt didn't it?" he nods, still trying to catch his breath, with watery eyes. "It's okay to cry." I soothe, "It's okay to call out, if it helps." He drops his face silently pleading for my lips. I give him the reward, moving my hands to his wrists, reminding him not to move. I break away. "Be good for me." I whisper after breaking the kiss and dropping back down to his sensitive cock. He cries out almost instantly.

I am relentless. I bring him to the brink four more times before I am satisfied with his ability to stave off an orgasm. I am very impressed, the reputation he has earned in our community was not a fabrication like I feared it might be after learning his true identity. He has soaked the sheets with sweat and tears, his voice is hoarse from the screaming but he has laid still and accepted every amount of pleasure I have given him without moving very much. I am having so much fun! I can't believe I finally found a submissive who isn't a cum whore. And to discover this after I marry him. Damn I had I him at my feet before this I would have proposed a long ass time ago.

When his cock falls limp the fifth time. I kiss my way back up to his chest. He is in hell and he is doing it for me. My cock has been rock hard and leaking for hours. "You have no idea what you are doing to me." I admit to him, lifting my eyes to him. He gives me a weak smile through his tears. "Get on your knees my good boy." I roll off of him so he can comply. He moves to get off the bed but I hook his hips. "I want you comfortable, you have earned it." I explain. He corrects himself and kneels on the mattress facing me. I sit on the bed with my legs spread eagle. "Lean forward, my sweet boy, suck me off." He doesn't hesitate, instead he simply gracefully bends his body and puts my cock in his mouth. "Ass up." I command, moaning for his talented tongue. I lean into him, rubbing my hands over his ass before smacking it. He moans his approval and becomes slightly more eager on my cock. "You like that." I note, gasping from the sensation. I smack him again, harder and harder each time. He brings me to the edge quickly, too quickly for my liking so I hold back, dragging my nails down his back when I manage to soften. He lets out a moan of frustration but he knows better to stop. I give it a moment before I start to spank him again. "Not so eager my sweet boy, let me enjoy your beautiful mouth." I correct, smacking him harder. He slows his pace down. "Good boy." I moan in approval. I continue to smack him until I am brought to the edge once more. This time I allow myself to cum. "Drink, swallow." I gasp, as my body shakes.

He sucks my flesh like a straw and when I stop pulsing he licks me clean and kisses the tip. "Thank you Master."

"Hmm don't thank me yet my sweet boy. You have more torturous pleasure before I allow you to cum." I smile, moving away from him but pressing my hands on his shoulders indicating he should stay. "Grip the mattress at its ends sweetie, you are going to need it and once I start you will not be allowed to move." He follows my command. I spread his knees apart, keeping his ass high in the air; making sure his cock is dangling in mid-air. "Are you ready?" I ask positioning myself comfortably behind him.

"Yes Master." He moans. I smile at his attempt to not be eager, but I can hear the desperation in his voice. Slowly I spread his cheeks apart and bring just the tip of my tongue to his entrance. "Fuck!" he curses, trying to stay still. I smile, this is going to be so much fun. My goal is to slowly lick my way deep into his ass, then reward him with a few fingers stroking his prostate while his hard, dripping cock is completely ignored. I plan on torturing him with five more edges before I finally allow release.

There is just one small issue with this beautiful plan of mine, he is making it so much harder on himself because he keeps pushing his ass into my face, causing me to start over. After the third correction of the first round I am annoyed and stop all together. I move off the mattress and drop down so him and I are eye level. "If I had bondage here, I would use it." I tell him, running my fingers through his dripping wet hair. "I need you to hold still for me my sweet. If you don't this is going to be a very long night." He closes his eyes. "Shh now, I know we have never played before but you need to understand, I get what I want. Unless there is a medical emergency I am not stopping. There is no out or giving up. You can do this, you will do this. You need to accept that. The sooner you submit to me properly, the sooner you cum." He nods his head. "Good, now hold still." I order, gripping his hair tightly before I let go. I settle back down behind him and finally I am able to complete round one. Round two and three require minor correction but he succeeds.

Round four is proving extremely frustrating for both of us. Annoyed I smack his ass. "Sit up on your knees." He does so and I take his hands and pin them behind his back, letting go but knowing he is going to stay. I climb off the bed and see his cock in full glory, dripping like a whore. I know he is in pain from the simple fact it isn't being touched. "I will be back momentarily." I warn him, leaving the room and going to the kitchen. There I find a bottle of water and return to him immediately. I crack it open and hand it to him. "You may drink." He takes it eagerly and swallows over half before I can stop him. "You are not good at slow in this mindset are you?" I note, closing the lid and putting the bottle aside. He closes his eyes and tears fall. "Talk to me my sweet."

"I'm frustrated with myself Master." He admits.

"I know." I smile, catching a tear. "This is intense."

"Very." He agrees.

"I don't want to start over, but I will if you force us to stop again." I warn in a serious tone. "You must accept this two more times, with no corrections or we will restart back to one."

"Master." He pleads, keeping his hands behind his back.

I bring him into me, letting him cry. "It's okay, we won't start again until you are ready, but we do have to start again. You are doing so well sweetie, don't make me punish you." I kiss his salty skin, careful to keep my distance from his cock. He cries for a short while before he finds his calm. I reward him with sucking on his favorite spot on his neck. He moans and I smile, leaving a small mark behind before I pull away. "Are you ready to please me?" I ask.

"Yes Master." He answers, calmer than he has been in hours.

"Good, resume your position." He does so. Before I climb back onto the mattress I decide to help him out a little and spank his ass until his cock re-hardens to full bloom as it was before the necessary break. Once I am satisfied I settle back down behind him and start my torture, careful not to change my speed from earlier. He will not be rewarded or punished for taking a break. It doesn't take long for him to start cursing and claw at the mattress but he is careful to keep his hips where they are. The edge comes quickly and he fights it with agony before he settles. I pull away and verify his cock has softened some, it has. "Breathe sweetie, you are almost there." I praise, starting my assault again. I wish I could say he was perfect but he wasn't the moment he hit his edge he moved. I pulled away, smacked his ass hard and waited. He said nothing as he silently cried, keeping his position. I started my assault over and this time he held completely still for it. "Good boy." I praise, lifting his shoulders off the mattress.

"I messed up Master." He cries.

"Yes." I confirm.

"Is this another break?"

"No sweetie, you passed the exercise."

"I don't understand." He admits, keeping his eyes cast down.

"You have denied yourself orgasm ten times tonight my sweet. Ten beautiful times. Stillness is a craft that is difficult to conquer, I respect that. I don't know your past training on it but for our first time you did beautifully. We are not starting over, you are not being punished. I was testing you, and now I know your beautiful abilities. You have pleased me so much tonight."

I drop down and suck his cock into my mouth. He gasps, "Fuck Master, please, gonna cum."

I drop his dick to speak. "Cum, touch me." His hands find my hair instantly and he moves his hips, to get deeper into my wet mouth. I grab his hips to still him but I don't stop sucking. "Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" he curses. I chock a little, not expecting the orgasm but I manage to swallow his extremely plentiful seed. He literally falls limp on top of me before I can sit up. I carefully bring us both to the wet sheets of the mattress. His eyes are glazed over, his breathing is slow. "Good boy." I praise, bringing him into me.

"Master, I never dreamed I could feel like this." He smiles with his eyes closed.

"It takes a lot of trust to feel like this." I smile at him, even though he can't see it. "You are in subspace sweetie, enjoy it. And accept I am going to make you eat a ton of chocolate."

"Don't have any." He moans.

"We will." I mutter. "What is the number of your assistant?"

"You are going to wake him up at this hour?" he asks, opening his eyes with a smile.

"I used to do it with you." I smile. "And if he shuns the CEO of the company he works for, he isn't worth a damn."

"And if he doesn't I am going to lose him to you." Mike bitches, knowing me too well. I give him a happy kiss. Breaking away only to find our phones and call this guy myself. To say he was surprised to hear my voice is an understatement. The guy jumped at my request and promised to bake a damn cake himself if he was unable to find something open. I laughed, gave him the address and told him he had an hour. "You are evil." Mike bitches. "I really like that guy."

"Then maybe we can combine the admin offices." I suggest. "Let him run it. Hell, he can even do the damn hiring and you and I can finally deal with important shit."

"I like this plan, why haven't we done this before?"

"Because I wanted you close to me no matter what." I answer innocently.

"So you admit sabotage." He smiles.

"I will confirm or deny nothing." I laugh.

"Evil."

"Worth it. Look at what my efforts got me." I point out kissing him again. "I got exactly what I wanted."

"What if Daniel hadn't messed up?" Mike asks and then looks surprised that the question fell from his lips. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that."

"I am the one who messed up Mike." I answer, kissing his fingers. "You surprised me. I wasn't expecting you. I sure the hell wasn't expecting to feel like this. Daniel coming back was an excuse. A way for me to deny feelings I wasn't ready to admit that I had. Feelings that no matter how much I tried, I couldn't push away. You were treated like a yo-yo with your boyfriends because I tried to accept them but I simply couldn't get comfortable with the idea of you moving past me. And the need to run my office I intentionally hired bad replacements because I am selfish. That is why Daniel was so jealous of you working for me, of you in general really. He recognized it before I could even admit it to myself. I may have run back to him but my heart stayed behind with you." I run my fingers on Mike's chest, "No matter how much Daniel and I would have tried, even if there were no lies, no cheating, we wouldn't have worked. He lost my trust the day he walked out on me and disappeared for six months. He never got it back." I swallow. "The day I had to choose between you two to save at minimum one of your lives, I was in hell. There was an honest risk Mike, Daniel could have died with me gambling to save you. I didn't know it was a trap or how strongly Brad really felt for him. I only knew for sure there was time to save one of you and I could not live with myself if I chose not to save you." Tears spill out of his eyes. "I am grateful the gamble paid off and Daniel did not die that day. But it ate me alive. Daniel and I always had the fight that I chose you and not him in that circumstance. It was his way of covering up his cheating. But I was the one who admitted my guilt of it to him first. His reaction was to cheat because he knew for sure in that moment, he no longer held my heart." I still my fingers. "The real question that needs to be asked Mike, is why did you stay even after I pushed you away?"

"Because I am a stubborn asshole." He smiles. I glare at him. "Damn you, that is not easy to answer."

"Try." I whisper.

"I've been in love with you for years." He admits. "It is why I tried so hard to prove your innocents, why I helped with you achieving your dream. But I don't think you noticed me at first. To be honest if you had I think I would have run, I wasn't ready for something like this. Keeping in the shadows allowed me to understand you in ways, I've never bothered to learn anyone else. When Ryan hurt you I realized my own feelings. I made it my personal mission that the bastard got a long sentence because I knew it was the only way he would stay away from you long enough for you to move on." My eyes widen, but I think about it. If Ryan is still harboring feelings all these years later, he was regretting his past actions. "I'm sorry." Mike whispers touching my face.

"Don't be." I reply, giving a weak smile. "You saved me and the girls from so much pain. Never apologize for that."

He smiles back, "When you met Alec, I realized I messed up. I should have come clean to you before then. But we were just starting a solid friendship, you would have thought I was crazy." I nod, he wasn't wrong. "It killed me to watch you two. You love each other so much but you don't trust anyone. I felt sorry for Alec in a way. I knew he was going to get his heart hurt because of his timing, not because of anything else. Hell I found myself trying to save him from the pain by reminding him you were not ready to admit feelings and the like but in the end he stopped listening to me. He jumped and you didn't jump with him. Watching him turn into a close friend because of it was almost painful." He turns his head toward the ceiling. "I won't deny it scared me off. I chalked you up to a 'could have been.' I started dating and everything, especially when Daniel entered into your life. You kept him at such a distance I barely knew he existed. And being in charge of your personal finances and things, that says something. But you seemed happy. I couldn't figure out if you were or if you were just healing. It took Daniel pushing you for me to decide that you were just killing time; least I thought you were. The day you two had your first fight I realized that he meant more to you than you let anyone know, even yourself. It made me question if you had unrecognized feelings for me. But that thought got crushed when it took you months to realize I was being hurt by an abusive Master. Especially when you shipped me off to Rachel's and didn't bother to visit me once."

"I was a self-absorbed asshole with a lot on my mind." I admit.

"I don't blame you," he assures me, looking at me, "we were friends. Alec and I were friends too, and he was pretty much explaining that Daniel was demanding all of your attention, barely leaving time for even him." I don't deny that. "But then you started getting hurt. The day you were attacked in the park, I lost it. I was your emergency contact and I wasn't there when you woke up. Not because I didn't want to be, but because I wanted to kick Daniel's ass but Bobby got to me first and all but dragged me out of that fucking hospital. I was locked in a room for an entire damn day. The moment I got out I went straight to Kyle and him and I went on a damn man hunt to find that weak motherfucker."

"Hey, take a breath my sweet, I am fine, just look at me." He gives me a skeptical look and traces the barely noticeable surgical scars and the bullet hole next to my heart as a response.

"Healed." I whisper, taking his hand and kissing his fingers.

He turns his head back to ceiling. "And then one day you walk into work a complete asshole and I knew something was terribly wrong. I had gotten a hang up call from Alec, which told me he was worried. Two hours into work I sent him the same message. Him and I pretty much tag teamed you for days. It didn't take me long to realize Daniel and you were over. And to see you spin out of control. I couldn't take it anymore. I knew you were on a dangerous path and if I hadn't stopped you … I lept; before I even realized what I was doing. Oh I was so pissed at myself. I had waited so long and to jump in as a rebound like that; I knew it was a disaster before I even started it. But I wasn't willing to wait years either. I needed to know if you and I had any sort of chance at all. I was expecting you to keep me at a distance, I wasn't surprised when you did. But I wasn't insecure about it. Nor did I let Alec chase me away when he told me what I already knew, dating you was not the best of ideas at the moment. But I did and it was epic."

"And then I hurt you."

"Seen it coming." He smiles weakly, causing a twist in my gut. "Didn't expect Daniel to be the reason. I was pissed, I won't lie. But I was also scared. Bringing Daniel back into your life also meant you brought Brad back. Kyle and I doubled our efforts and I found him. That is why I was kidnapped. I was too damn wound up to wait for back up and went in alone. I was set up, Brad wanted me for his fucked up game. Pricilla however, well her and I have always hated each other which is why I was tortured." He turns to me. "You were forced to make that choice because I was too close. Had I just waited." He stops, taking a few breathes, "Dale Cole allowed Alec to go after Brad like that because he was informed that I was an undercover agent. Both of you have suffered because I got over involved. I got in so much damn trouble for it. Chloe did what she could to protect me but I was suspended for damn near six months." He fights tears from his face, "You almost lost your ability to walk because of me." He whispers.

"No. I got hurt because of a psycho bitch threatened those I love. I almost lost my ability to walk because I was too afraid to admit what I wanted." I correct sternly.

"I asked for a reassignment twice. The first time was after Daniel came back into your life. It was selfish, Chloe called me out on it and denied it. She should have let me, you wouldn't have gotten hurt if I hadn't hunted Brad." He shakes his head at my glare. "The second time was after I overheard you in the hospital room. You wanted to be happy with Daniel. How was I going to deny that? Chloe granted the transfer, but she took her time about it. I was supposed to move to an overseas assignment. Sean was to be my undercover partner."

"You weren't real lovers?"

"Fooled even you." Mike smiles. "But the other guys you were chasing away were real dates and I found it real annoying."

"I won't apologize for that."

"The only reason you liked Sean was because I made his damn identity based on what I knew you would approve of." Mike frowns.

"How did you stay behind?"

"I asked my boss to revoke the transfer due to a case development and me already being informed with an established cover. They sent someone else with Sean and the rest is history."

"Why did you want to stay?"

"Because Daniel wasn't there when your mother died." Mike frowns. "You weren't happy and I was damned if I left knowing that there were could have beens."

"Is that why you shocked me with a proposal?"

"Yeah, I was sick of waiting." he admits, looking at me seriously. "And here we are, happy."

The doorbell rings. I curse because I had forgotten about it. Quickly I dress and make my way to the front door. There I find Mike's very nervous assistant holding a freshly baked chocolate cake and three boxes of candy bars. "I guessed." He stammers. "The icing is probably a little melted, I didn't have a lot of time for the cake to cool."

I take it out of his hands. "You made this?"

"Yes Sir." He answers nervously.

"Come to my office tomorrow. You are getting promoted." I inform him, with a smile.

"Thank you Sir. Just, tomorrow as in today or tomorrow?"

"What time is it?"

"Four o'clock in the morning."

"Already?" I note. "Damn. Yeah, tomorrow as in today. See you in a few hours."

"Thank you Sir." He calls out to a slamming door.

I stop in the kitchen and grab a couple of forks. Then I make my way back to the bedroom.

"Eating in bed?"

"Need to wash the sheets anyway." I shrug, handing him a fork. "You trust this guy right, we aren't about to be poisoned?"

"These days you never know." Mike sighs. "But he has worked with me since my first promotion so I would say yes, he is trustworthy."

"Not an agent?"

"Family of one." Mike shrugs.

"I don't even want to know." I admit stabbing the cake with my fork. "Eat, that is an order." He reluctantly complies.

"I have a question." I start swallowing the warm cake. "You are okay with Alec in my life and you were not okay with Daniel. Why?"

"Daniel wasn't good for you. Alec is."

"You're not jealous?"

"Why? Alec has never proven to be happy with just one guy. He isn't going to demand all your time. So what is there to be jealous of?"

"I don't know, the fact I love him."

"You have a short memory Clay." He replies, chewing on his cake. "You loved Alec when we were together the first time and it affected nothing."

"That was different, he was with Bobby."

"He's with Ethan now." Mike reminds me. "And he was with Ethan then." I stab the cake in response to that. He brings us back to the point, "You have proven to me that you are capable of loving two people at once. You have also proven that if you are backed into a corner about having to choose you react poorly." He adds, talking with his fork. "I knew this about you long before I jumped. I have had a long time to accept it."

"You have the right to find your own Alec." I inform him.

"I told you I want to be in charge of that type of conversation Clay." He glares. "It took me a long time to find you. I am not going to start searching anytime soon."

"But if a friend turns into something more."

"Stop. I can't change the fact you feel guilty. But I don't want to hear about it. We are good. All is good. Stop making problems where there aren't any. Enjoy the happy."

"That is what this is, isn't it."

"Yeah." He agrees.

"If anyone hurts you I swear to the heavens . . ."

"We will catch them Clay, we will catch them and this will be over but we can't focus on it. If we do that we will never enjoy the happy. Now shut up and eat cake." He laughs, stuffing a mouthful into my protesting lips. I laugh, pushing the half eaten cake aside and pulling him into me. Our lips collide and we kiss. "Enough talking now." He moans. "I'm going to fuck you senseless."


	49. Happiness

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shatter**

 **Happiness**

 **Alec's Point of View**

"You want to what?" I ask Clayton truly in shock.

"Would you rather we wait to picked off one by one? They have taken Bobby and Daniel. Do you really want them to take Ethan and Mike next?" he asks.

"So we put a Dolore in jail and then what?"

"We get them to tell us where Xzavier is."

"You've lost your damn mind!" I bitch.

"Alec."

"No!" I yell at him. "Not this Clayton. I will not set a trap that could get everyone I love killed!"

"Then what are we supposed to do? Ignore this? If you haven't noticed the murders of our lovers are unsolved!"

"Street justice isn't going to fix it Clayton! You have to put faith in Mike and his team."

"Mike is a target!" he screams at me.

"So is Ethan! So are we!" I yell back.

"What the hell was the point of you getting the Quattro on your side if you are too damn scared to use street justice!" he seethes.

"The Quattro's cooperation has filled in a lot of gaps. Gaps that are helping Mike and his team to close in on the Dolore as a whole Clayton, not just Xzavier. I know we haven't really talked about this, but Clayton you have to trust me. This is working. You have to be patient. I understand that you want to act, but right now I need you to stay still."

"I can't stay still!" he argues.

"You can for me, I know you can, you've proven it." I counter. "Come now Angel, must I make it an order?"

"I love him Alec. I love him more than I …" he stops, his eyes watering. I can feel a knife stab into my heart, selfishly grateful that he didn't finish the sentence. He shakes his head, "More than I have loved anyone in a long time." I give him a half smile, knowing he made the correction for my sake, and knowing what he was going to say. "Fuck!" Clayton curses, looking at his shaking hands. "How the hell did he get in? How?"

"Oh Angel, your husband is one of the most patient and determined individuals I have ever met. He's been chipping away at that armor of yours for years, so slowly you rarely noticed."

"He gets shot at for a living!" Clayton mutters, turning away from me to dry his eyes. I close the distance between us and hug him from behind. I know there is nothing in the world I can say to make this better. I had tried to comfort Chloe with similar worries of Levi for years. "I'm holding back on you. There are things I can't say." He whispers. "I have to. I wish I didn't, but I have to."

I tense, Clayton has never once told me that, but I have told him that so many times I can't recall them all. "Wow, I never knew how that felt." I admit in a whisper.

"It sucks." Clayton laughs, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." I assure him. "Thank you for being as honest as you can." I touch his wedding band that is securely on his finger, letting him know I understand the source of the secret.

He turns to me. "I never dreamed that you and I could ever have this again." I meet his eyes, "I want this to be different Alec."

"Different how?" I reply cautiously.

"I'm not going to hold back. I know we share each other but damn it I refuse to hold back with you. I won't hurt you like that again. Ever. We deserve to love each other the way we feel. Yes, we love others too but when we are alone like this, Alec I am going to love you." My breath catches in my lungs and I forget how to breathe. He doesn't help when his lips tenderly kiss mine. "Don't resist." He whispers, kissing me again. I gasp, stepping back, trying to think. "Tell me you held back when you were with Ethan and Bobby. Tell me you resisted either one of them and I will stop." He whispers, placing his lips on mine again and again.

"I can't." I gasp jumping him. He catches me, bringing my body close to his while we kiss one another feverishly. I couldn't believe this was happening. I never dreamed it was possible. We are letting each other in, after all these years of denial we are finally letting each other in. The passion is so great I can't recall how I got onto the bed and half our clothes are suddenly missing. I want to stay lost in it but I know better. "Stop Clayton." I order, trying to catch my breath. He pulls away, confusion and concern all over his face. I smile at him, "There are rules."

He casts his eyes away, his body becoming ridged. He doesn't say a word. I raise up on my elbow. "Rule One. Never hold back your emotions from me ever again. Negative or positive I am not looking for you to act on them, but I want you to admit them to me." I whisper causing his eyes to shoot to mine. I heard him and I am agreeing with him. "If I even get a hint that you are attempting to shut me out, the punishment will be severe." I warn, extremely serious. "Rule Two. You submit only to me." His eyes harden a little at that one. "You and Mike can have your fun of course with power play but he is not your Master. Never treat him like one. Ever." He nods, this rule is more for him than me, but I will not have another repeat of Clayton in a tail spin over switching with the same partner. "Rule Three. You will never top me." His eyes show a hint of pain but understanding. I want this not only because of the power play as his Master but out of respect for my husband. "Rule Four. You accept complete surrender." His eyebrows come together, he is about to speak but I put my finger to his lips. "I am not starting over with you Clayton, we swam into deep waters years ago. You want to be my submissive, I am more than proud and honored to be your dominate. But I want it all. Your husband being the exception, your orgasms are mine. Massive life choices require my approval. I chose what I get a say in even when it comes to your outfits, hairstyle, and accessories." He swallows nervously at that one, I have never shown any interest in the presentation of his appearance before. Mostly because he is so damn particular about it, I don't find it worth it. But I am pushing him and it is something I want him to accept. If he can't surrender like this, it isn't complete. "Rule Five. I have the right to add more rules at any time." His body shivers a little beneath me, I smile when I see the goosebumps travel his skin. I am pleased that he is taking this as serious as it is. "Do you accept these rules?"

"Proudly Master." He replies in a nervous whisper.

"Good." I lift him up, unbuttoning his jeans. "Strip off the rest of these pesky clothes and kneel on the floor my angel."

He follows my command wordlessly. I hunt around for my shirt and put it back on. When he is ready I pull a small box out of my pocket and present it to him. He looks up at me. I nod, giving my silent consent to open it. When he does his eyes shoot from the contents to me and back again. "Rule four." I reply. He swallows hard, his nerves showing.

He looks at me. "Permission to speak freely."

"Granted." I smile, "but stay exactly how you are."

"Rule One." He responds, licking his lips. "Fear."

I smile, "I would be very concerned if you were not apprehensive Clayton." I assure him. "But this isn't anything to fear, not from me. This is not meant as a way to determine when we are in our roles or when we are in our friendship. This is simply a token to speak to those who know us, that we are committed to each other. It is no different than a wedding band."

"Yet it is only meant for the submissive." Clayton sighs.

"Most submissive's would see this as the extreme high honor that this is. Especially from a Dominate that doesn't collar."

"I am to kneel only to you yet you will have others?"

"None of them will be collared." I whisper, holding back my annoyance of this. We've had this fight years ago, I gave him what he wanted then. But we are both married to other people now, I won't give in this time. Not on this, especially with what happened in New York.

"Request permission that they only experience oral." Clayton rushes, knowing by my tone I am not pleased.

"Only a collared submissive of mine can make such a request." I reply, keeping us on track.

He drops his eyes back to the box. "Master, this is beautiful." I stand there, nervous. Him and I have been through so much together. And it has finally landed us here. In all honesty I never dreamed I would want to ever collar a soul in my life, not with my past. But Ethan has shown me the beauty of it, when it is willful. And I selfishly want that with Clayton. I know I am pushing him but if he can't accept this, then our friendship is best left as it has been and we should not be doing this at all. He carefully takes the thick titanium necklace out of the box and studies the inscription. I kept it simple, it is an intentionally bulky chain with a bar on it meant for writing. There it had the words. "My Angel, Always" inscribed between two angel wings. The chain was light and the metal was chosen for the specific purpose that it was never to leave his neck. He studies the chain and then looks at me. "How does it latch?"

"With this." I explain, pulling out a specially designed clasp. "Once this closes, it won't open again." I warn.

"No take backs." He whispers.

"Exactly."

"I can't accept that without talking to Mike and Ethan first." He replies.

I smile at the respect. "I've already spoken with both of them. They both approve assuming you make the choice willfully."

He holds it in his hand for a moment longer, but for me it might as well be an eternity. Breathing is starting to become difficult. It takes strength not to interrupt his thoughts with words or a simple touch. My heart damn near stops in my chest when he reaches for my wrists, traces the scar that we made together, not once but twice, and drops the necklace into my palm. Not wanting him to see the heartbreak I close my eyes and force myself to breathe. I go to drop my hand but he grips my wrist. Our eyes meet. "You will have to put it on Master, I don't want to mess it up because there is no correcting it." My eyes widen, studying his. He smiles at me. "I accept the honor of being yours."

I let out a relieving laugh of joy. He drops his hand and I study the jewelry to make sure it is placed around his neck correctly. Once I am confident, I quickly work the one-time latch and secure it around Clayton's neck. "Stand for me Angel." I whisper. He does so. "Go on, find a mirror." I encourage. He smiles, kisses me gently then takes long strides to the bathroom for a closer look. I follow him in there. "Do you like it?" I ask, worried.

"Yes." He smiles, staring at it.

"Mike helped me pick it out." He meets my eyes through the mirror. "I figured if he has to stare at it daily, he should have a say." I shrug. "That and well he understands your sense of fashion better than I do."

He turns to me, taking me into his arms while kissing me breathless. We make out for a while before I turn us. The moment I am deep inside of him, he stops us. "Do you feel that?" He asks, I give him a look of confusion. "This is what happiness feels like Master." He whispers with a smile. I moan my approval, colliding my lips to his while slowly riding him.

I didn't know how long this was going to last but my past has been a cautionary tale to always treasure moments like this. I take the time to make this a memory and truth be told this one made one of the top five favorite memories of my entire life. I knew it then and I prepared because I know how the fates treat me. I must always be in a balance and I know that this will come at a deep cost. But when it does, I will have every second of this to remember and it will get me through whatever hell the fates have in store.


	50. Boys Just Wantta Have Fun

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Boys Just Wantta Have Fun**

 **Clayton's Point of View**

When I walk into Mike's office he drops his head on his desk. "I'm exhausted." He complains. "Zach is too successful for his own damn good."

"I've heard of worse problems." I smile. "Come on, I've got a surprise for you."

"Is it going home and going to bed?" He asks, raising ahis head up with pleading eyes.

"Nope." I smile. "Trust me. You're going to love it." He protests with a moan but gets up from his desk. I laugh as I wrap my arms around him and we walk out of his office.

When we get to the car, I stop him and he tries to open the door. "Where are we going?" he asks, curious.

"Somewhere fun." I smile, kissing him breathless. He moans as his hands roam. I drop my lips down his neck.

"You keep that up we are never going to make it."

"We have time." I assure him, opening the back door and pushing him in.

"Clay I haven't fucked in a car since I was a teenager." He complains, when I climb in and close the door behind us.

I give an evil grin. "Then let me remind you what it is like to be young."

I climb on top of him and quick tear open his clothes. My lips find his upper left rib and my teeth sink into him, marking what is mine. "Fuck Clay, please." He whimpers, trying to get my clothes off. Impatiently I leave my mark, sit up and we both strip to be with each other. "Lube?" He questions.

"Wallet." I answer, licking his skin. He reaches for it while I leave small marks all over his skin. I feel his hand come between us while he prepares himself and then I shiver when I feel the cold lube on my cock.

"Sorry." He whispers, understanding, kissing me breathless to make me forget the discomfort.

I spread his legs and push myself deep inside of him. "Never apologize for helping me be where I belong." I growl, giving him time to adjust. When he is ready he bucks his hips. I take the cue and start to ride him. The car starts to move beneath us while we hunger for each other's lips. It doesn't take much to start dripping in sweat, I should have started the car for the air conditioner but it is too late now. The windows soon fog up and our moans are gasps are so erotic I make sure to make the memory. I feel his nails dig down my skin and hiss as the sweat causes his marks to sting. I arrange us so I can stroke his cock while I ride him, bringing him with me to climax. "Clay!" he yells. "Clay!"

"Me first." I whisper in his ear, sucking on his lobe while I continue to stroke him. My lips fall to his neck and back to his eager kiss before I spill my seed, still not stopping tormenting his cock. He is trying so hard, it makes me never to want to stop. I give him a wicked smile before I drop out of him and swallow his unsuspecting cock all the way down my throat. My tongue teasing his balls. "Fuck! Clay!" he protests, trying to get away. But I don't let him. Instead I suck on him until he is forced to go limp in my mouth.

I lift up and kiss him breathless. He pulls me into him, accepting the fact that he isn't going to cum. We kiss for a long while before I search my pants, find my keys and turn on the air conditioning. He grabs his clothes but I pinch his nipples in protest. "Not yet love, you haven't cum."

"Fucking hell." He complains, laying his back on my chest. Slowly I start to stroke his cock.

"I have something for you." I whisper, reaching into the back of the driver's seat pouch and pulling out a tiny box. He brings his head back a little before he draws his attention back to it and opens it. There he finds a long bar with the initials "C" on the left and "R" on the right. "You are mine." I whisper, his unspoken question.

He takes it out of the box and paces it on top of his sac. "It's perfect Master." He praises. "Will you do it?"

"You want me to pierce you?" I question, stopping my stroking.

"Who else would?" he questions. "Please, I trust you."

"You risk infection outside a professional." I dismiss, stroking his cock again.

"If it gets infected I will deal with it, but if you want me to wear this, you have to put it on me."

"I'll think about it."

"What's there to think about?" he asks.

"I don't have any needles." I dismiss.

He sits up and grabs his wallet, surprising me with a set of them. "I'm into needle play." He shrugs. "I just haven't figured out how to talk to you about it." I look at his set and back at him. "It's only fitting the first time you bleed me is to make me yours." Determined he leans back and spreads his legs, giving me the perfect view of his sac.

"Have you ever had needles on your sac before?" I question.

"Nipples mostly, some on my cock, but never my sac. You will be the first."

"I'm nervous." I admit, putting a needle in my mouth while I tug on his sac.

"Just don't nick my balls you will be fine." He encourages.

Realizing I am going to have to thread this needle through and have the bar chase it I turn on the dome light for a better view. "Are you sure you don't want to wait until we get home?"

"Please Master." He begs, trying to hide his own nerves. Working cautiously but quickly I hear him hiss and instantly he goes limp. Encouraged that I am not hurting him in a way he doesn't want I manage to complete the task with a minimal amount of fumbling. When the bar is secure I massage his sac, causing him to moan. I am honestly surprised at how little blood there was from all of this. "Please Master, my nipples." He begs, grabbing the set of needles. Understanding I quickly work one free and thread it through a nipple before following suit on the other, leaving both in there. I look down and see his needy cock rock fucking hard and dripping. Turned on beyond belief I drop my mouth back down to him, greedily licking up all of his taste. He pulls on my hair while he enjoys the feeling. "Clay." He whispers.

"Cum." I reply sucking on his dick and taking every last drop he gives. He falls limp and I smile while I lick him clean. I then carefully reach up and take the needles out of his nipples causing him to gasp.

"That was hot." I smile, kissing him lightly. "Are you sure you are okay?"

"Never better." He whispers with a smile.

"Did I spend you? Should we go home?" I question.

"Nope, just give me a minute, I will be more than okay." He assures me, taking me into his arms. I kiss him softly for a few moments. Eventually he grabs the sides of my cheeks and asks, "Seriously, where are we going?"

"You have surprises, don't you." I grin widely, climbing off of him. He rolls his eyes at me in a huff, grabbing his clothes. "Keep the dress shirt off darlin'." I smile, reaching for a bag and tossing him some casual clothes. He raises an eyebrow, rips the tags off and we both dress comfortably. I give him a quick kiss before I climb into the driver's seat and start the engine while he climbs up front as well. I give him a wicked grin as we pull out and I drive to the strangest date I have ever been on.

"A carnival." Mike catches on while I am pulling up.

"Equipped with cotton candy, funnel cakes and impossible challenges." I smile.

"And you find it cute because it's corny." Mike laughs.

"Exactly." I smile, kissing him.

 _The carnival is everything it is supposed to be. Silly fun, lots of laughter and good junk food. The rides were silly the games were goffy._

"That by far was the corniest thing I have ever done as an adult." Mike laughs carrying on oversized bear I had won for him.

"So you enjoyed?" I ask, opening the car door.

"Very much" he smiles, sticking the bear in the back seat before climbing in. "So much I am going to thank you now. . ."

When we get home we climb out of the car but we don't make it into the house. We are too busy, making out to get in the house. "I love you." Mike whispers between kisses.

"I love you." I whisper back. The moment the words slip my lips his eyes widen and he goes limp in my arms. "Mike?" I question and then I see the blood. "Mike!" I scream, lying him down on the ground. I go to apply pressure on the wound but I feel a sharp pain in my back. I look down and realize I've been shoot too. I teach for my phone. I dial 911 but I feel another sharp pain and it hurts to breathe. I fall to the ground and take Mike's hand. A man who looks like Bobby stands before me while I cough up blood.

"You can thank Alec for taking away my Pricilla."

"What?"

"He wants to rule the Quattro. There is a price." Xzavier growls. He lifts his gun at me but sirens scare him off before he shoots.

I take Mike's hand and stare into his vacant eyes. Tears slip out of mine while I try to breathe but I am drowning. Every push of my lungs hurts more and more my vision starts to blur. I lift my free bloody hand and draw and "X" on the driveway, hoping someone would get the message. I cough hard, causing blood to flood my mouth. I'm dying and I know it. Tears slip out of my eyes memories flash before me. Daniel. Alec. Mike.

I hear a voice promising help, telling me to hand on. They force me to let go of Mike's lifeless body. I try to protest. I cough. Then suddenly the world falls away. My ma'ma is there smiling. "Hello Clayton." I want to protest but she steps aside and Mike is there. "It's time." They both reach out their hands I take one last look at my body before I turn back to them. Taking them with a smile, yet knowing I am leaving half my soul behind.


	51. Darkness 51

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Darkness**

 **Alec's Point of View**

I am exhausted. I detest interviews. And none of the candidates I spoke with today have the vision and drive that I am looking for. I know no one can be Bobby or even Owen but I need someone who has the passion, someone who these kids can relate to. And until I find it I am stuck as a one and a half man show with guest rock stars. It's frustrating, but I won't settle, my kids deserve better than that.

Honestly, I am shocked there isn't a mountain of paperwork to do. I have Mike to thank for that. He has someone at Blackboard Entertainment making sure all the supplies are being ordered and dealing with the few issues that arise, while he himself is in charge of the books for now which is keeping the lights on and paying a cleaning company. I feel awful about it but it helps me concentrate of my kids so much that I can't seem to ask to take the responsibilities back. To be honest, the person I am looking to hire needs to be able to cook and hang out with teenagers.

The truth is though, at the moment, an extra person isn't really needed. A lot of my kids are spooked. I know they those who have left the center are going back to my old employer, telling them they believe I am haunted or something. It sucks but when two of the people I was relying heavily upon at the center, up and die, I can't blame the kids for wanting to be elsewhere. Never mind, most know that I was really good friends with the victims of the Darkest Desires fire. All of these murders are admittedly bad for business. But I am not giving up, my core kids still come, they still trust me. And if I am down to one person, who needs someone then I will open this place, just for them. I am not in this for a profit, I am in this to make a difference.

Today however, I don't feel the satisfaction I normally do when the day is done. I am filing the last of my paperwork to end the day. I should feel satisfied as I am finally caught up with all my patient files, and I have coordinated with Mike on a few upcoming events, and everything is in working order. But not having an assistant is bothering me and truth be told some of my kids issues are bothering me.

Still even with all this work something feels off. I can't place it but my body just feels sluggish or hurt. My stomach has been upset for the past couple of hours but I have been ignoring it. Trying to keep my mind is occupied with things that simply need to be done. But then it happens, I can no longer deny something isn't wrong when I look up and discover Ethan standing in my office. My breath stops in my lungs. My body jerks to it's feet.

"Ethan?" I question, knowing by the look on his face something is terribly wrong.

"We have to go now." He replies, softly.

"No." I reply angry. "No!" I scream tossing the contents of my desk. I feel Ethan wrap his arms around me, I struggle, unable to breathe. My head is pounding, I can barely see. Tears are streaming down my face. "No!" I cry in denial, as my soul shatters into shreds.

I don't remember much after that. Somehow I was taken out of the center, put into a car, and taken to the hospital. Ethan's arms are scratched to hell, I am sure he has bruises but I don't remember doing any of it. Reality doesn't hit me until I see Clayton lying there, on life support. I take his hand, shaking to the core. Carefully I find support on the bed Clayton is lying in. "Where's Mike?" I ask Ethan.

"I'm so sorry Alec." Ethan answers, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

Anger like I have never known boils inside my gut. "Tell me Clayton is going to pull through this." I reply firmly, no stranger to the sight of Clayton lying in a bed with tubes all around him.

"I wish I could." Ethan whispers, heartbroken. "I'm sorry Alec, but he is brain dead."

I weep like a small child. Flashbacks of our short life together come running at me like a freight train. All the smiles, the laughter, the freight over fabric. Half of me is dead. I weep until I can't weep any longer and only when I am exhausted do I realize Ethan and I am not alone in this room Clayton's father, Lilly and Monica are there too. Trying to find composure I lift up. "He wouldn't want this. His body needs to rest."

"You're his medical power of attorney since Mike . . ." Ethan replies, gently.

"Where's Brooke?"

"I'll get her." Monica replies.

I fix Clayton's hair, wishing he would open his eyes. I can hear the monitors checking his heartbeat and the air being pumped in and out of his lungs.

"Alec." Brooke whispers, it's obvious she too has been crying.

"He's always been a giver, donate his organs." I turn to Clayton's father who nods his approval. "His eyes, Brooke, be sure they go to a child."

"I will, I promise." She whispers, using the wall for support.

"Can you make this pain stop? Even for a little while? Because if you don't I think I am going to die right along with him."

"I'll get you some meds." Brooke whispers, leaving the room as quickly as she came.

Days pass in pure grief. I find myself standing in a graveyard, burying Clayton and Mike in the Reynold's family crypt, next to too many people I know. I am nothing but numb, I have absolutely no strength for any of this. My kids are here, trying to be supportive but they see me broken and seem to know there is some things you can't come back from. This is definitely one of those things. I stand here until the sun goes down and Ethan takes me home. I stare at him with dead eyes. "They are dead because of me aren't they?" I ask him when we are alone.

"The Dolore targeted them because of it, yes." Ethan answers.

"Alec, I've done some digging. There are still agents at Blackboard Entertainment. One gave me information for the right price." I give him a look of annoyance. "Chloe's was targeted because a mission went South with Rachel. Xzavier didn't kill you that day because he didn't see you as a threat. He was after the feds, no one else."

"His biggest mistake was keeping me alive." I reply coldly. "Did he tell you anything else?"

"Yes." Ethan frowns at me. "He told me Clayton drew and "X" with his own blood before he died."

Xzavier. Clayton knew his killer, his last act on this Earth was to tell us. "I am going to kill him Ethan."

"I know."

"We need to go see a lawyer first."

"What for?" Ethan asks.

"I'm giving the girls my portion of Blackboard Entertainment and my youth center."

"Your Youth Center?"

"Even if I make it out alive Ethan, I'm not coming back here." I answer.

"Where are we going?"

"Back to New York."

"You think he is there? Not here?" Ethan questions.

"Yes, and if he is anything like Bobby, he's waiting."

I don't wait for an answer. I don't care if Ethan tags along or not. I am so done losing everything and everyone I love. Xzavier wanted to destroy me, he succeeded. I am nothing bu anger now, ever last shred of my humanity died when Clayton was stolen from me.

I quickly make my way to the lawyers, updating my will and writing a letter to the girls asking that they do try to find someone to fulfill my dream. When that business is concluded I find myself at the airport with Ethan.

"You don't have to come." I tell him, keeping my distance.

"I'm going." He replies sternly.

Not in any damn mood to argue I buy two one way tickets to New York. I have no intention of living through this and I call tell Ethan knows it. He wants to be my life line, the one thing on this Earth that will keep me tethered here. I wish it were that simple. I wish I could avenge those I lost and walk off into the sunset with Ethan. But life doesn't work that way. Even if I miraculously live through this, I will forever change. Change into a man I will hate. It will consume me and I could never be the man Ethan once loved. No, I am going at this with the proper mindset. No matter what happens, I am no coming out of this alive. All because I once fell in love with a girl.

Ethan tries to make small talk, just attempting to figure out my mindset. But I am not very forthcoming. After the seatbelt light goes off and we are flying in midair, he stops trying instead just holding my hand, silently worrying. My mind drifts to the events of what happened after I made a blood oath to my new found family.

The threat of sharing a bed with Que and Lance had turned out to be just that, a threat. Que was hoping to talk me out of it but that didn't work. I chose to take the oath anyway. And the moment I did, I sealed a fate for myself I could have never imagined in a million years.

 _"_ _Alec, you need to go through that door." Que frowns, "only you for now." I look at him skeptical and turn to Ethan. "Alec, look at me." Que tells me. "You can trust me, almost more than you can trust Ethan right now." I raise an eyebrow at him. "I have never lied to you." He added._

 _Cautiously I let go of Ethan's hand and walk to the door. I turn back, share a glance with Ethan who shrugs with a nod. Unsure what to expect I enter it. I am stunned to find a very relaxed Sebastien on the other side of it. "Come in Alec, the personal war between us is officially over." Unsure what to say to that I close the door behind me but keep my distance, waiting for an explanation of this odd turn of events._ " _Que said you spoke of her." He remarks with a weak smile. For the first time since I've known him, he wasn't angry. If I dare say, the man looks heartbroken._

Alec breathe, it's okay, he isn't going to hurt you. _Glory's voice chimes in my head. "Her?" I reply thinking fast, "You knew Glory?"_

 _"_ _Tara." Sebastien corrects, sitting down in the chair opposite of me._

 _I hesitate, staring at the only exit for a moment before I sit down and willfully have a conversation with a man I truly loath. "I wasn't aware you knew her."_

 _"_ _No, you wouldn't." Sebastien frowns. "I half wondered if we grabbed the right guy. How could you know her and never speak her name?"_

 _"_ _It's because I knew her. I chose to protect her memory." I swallow hard, this is not an easy topic for me on a good day, more or less with someone I despise. "She was my light in all the darkness. I had to protect her."_

 _"_ _Protect her?" He replies bitterly. "Fine job you did of that!"_

 _"_ _I was just shy of eighteen Sebastien, Xzavier took us by surprise. He was stronger. Glory, I mean, Tara tried to protect me. She gave me time to run, but I couldn't leave her." Teas slip out of my eyes, this memory always effects me. "The last moments of her life she watched me get hit so hard I was thought dead. I wish I was." I struggle to keep my voice, fully aware I've never let this man see me cry. "I woke up to hell. She was dead, blood was everywhere." I shake my head trying to shake the memory. "I couldn't leave her like that. I took her to a hospital and was arrested. That is how or when I got Xzavier in jail. I thought that hell was over. When I was free I scattered her ashes under a willow tree." I wipe my face. "I never dreamed he would get out and kill more of those I love." I stare at my hands. "Or that I would fall in love with his brother."_

 _"_ _Did she ever talk about me?"_

 _"_ _No. I was under the impression she was a life-long foster child running away from broken homes. She said she was on and off the streets for years. She was very cunning, if not for her, I would have never survived."_

 _"_ _She wasn't a foster child." Sebastien frowns. "She was my sister."_

 _My eyes widen in shock. Suddenly, everything about Sebastien makes sense. From his petty jealousy, to his poisonous behavior toward Owen. "You truly hate me and it has nothing to do with Lance." I respond with full clarity._

 _"_ _Your feelings for Lance did not help you." Sebastien answers coldly. "She really told you to run and you refused?"_

 _"_ _Yes." I confirm. "I would gladly trade my life for hers, even to this day, I love her."_

 _"_ _Had you spoken of her like this to Lance, even Ethan, your life would have been much easier." Sebastien informs me. I give Ethan a half smile, knowing I had told him but Ethan chose to keep my trust and confidence over comforting his cousin. Ethan gives me a slight nod, acknowledging that his loyalty is and has always been with me._

 _"_ _How did?" I stop unsure how to ask._

 _"_ _She was stolen from us at a young age. My father had killed The Dolore's son and Tara paid the price." Sebastien answers. "We tried to get her back only to discover she escaped. She didn't go home. I don't think she knew where home was. It took forever to track her, we were always a step behind. She was found by the State a time or two and put into the system. The Dolore always managed to be informed. They tortured her and she always ran. It was infuriating. I was so close, tracking you two when Xzavier discovered Tara and killed her." Sebastien's face turns from sadness to anger. "I've hated you, blamed you, ever since."_

 _"_ _I am not your enemy."_

 _"_ _I know that now." He frowns. "I still hate that you spent years with her and she never mentioned her own brother."_

 _"_ _She trusted me Sebastien, but not like that, her past was off limits. Anytime I tried she would get so angry and display a temper not unlike your own."_

 _He gives a proud half-smile. "Sounds like the Tara I remember."_

 _"_ _You said you wondered if you grabbed the wrong guy. Why did you grab me? To torture me for her death? If so, why Lance and not you?"_

 _He shifts his eyes to his hands and then back to me. "You were grabbed for protection. Which is why Lance was put in charge. I would have killed you."_

 _"_ _Protection against what? Que said he didn't realize I testified against Xzavier until it was too late."_

 _Sebastien shakes his head, impatient with the questions flooding out of my mouth. "After two years and an associate's degree later and you never spoke of her. I convinced the others we had the wrong guy. Que was skeptical but sided with me. Which is why you became a slave. You stayed protected but at least you weren't getting royal treatment. Only the true Jack deserved that."_

 _"_ _What?" I ask confused._

 _"_ _You have my sister to thank for most your education Alec." Sebastien replies dryly. "Her trust fund paid for it."_

 _"_ _I don't understand!" I bitch, feeling unheard. "How did you even know about me?"_

 _"_ _I claimed Tara's body at the morgue. I paid them off to give you unclaimed human remains if you ever came looking." I can't stop the hurt in my eyes. "Amongst her personal belongings she had a letter, telling anyone who mattered that she loved you and asked that nothing but kindness and good nature come to you. She thought she had nothing to ever give you but if she could she would given you everything." Sebastien stops. "The blood stained letter was dated three months before she died."_

 _"_ _I had no idea." I cry, shaking._

 _"_ _When we were certain you were who we thought, you were already a slave. Xzavier got out of prison and he was hunting you. So we moved you across country and kept you as a slave to keep The Dolore in the dark about you. It is why Ethan gave you so much freedom. Why you were eventually given the illusion that you were free and why we had you give it up for your friends protection. No harm was ever going to come to Levi, we just needed you to lose your freedom to stop drawing attention to yourself. The Dolore got the message, you were a protected slave, but not the man they were looking for. Hell even Bobby helped use with that, it seems."_

 _"_ _But now I have Xzavier's attention and he wants me dead. It isn't because I put him in jail is it Sebastien?"_

 _"_ _You have the power to put him back there if new evidence came to light." He deflects._

 _"_ _If Levi wasn't to be harmed why did you harm Owen?"_

 _"_ _Hatred for you mostly. Trying to wake him up. He was a target. He needed to realize that." I give him an angry glare. "I didn't hurt him as badly as what could have happened. I was even careful when I stabbed him. Had Que not sent me away I could have kept him from The Dolore's clutches."_

 _"_ _Which fate would have been worse Sebastien?"_

 _He looks at me. "Honestly, I don't know."_

 _"_ _I will always hate you for what you've done to him." I reply with acid._

 _"_ _As you should." Sebastien nods, "Just as Pricilla will always hate you for Brad."_

 _"_ _Tu sha." I frown understanding Sebastien's anger and guilt all too well._

 _"_ _I've given you all the pieces to this puzzle Alec. It is up to that Berkley brain of yours to put it all together." He stands up. "When she was lost to us, she didn't know much kindness. Thank you for showing her love. You saved her, just as much as she saved you." He walks out of the room leaving me emotionally drained._

I cannot tell you how long I sat there. My brain fitting pieces of my life together in ways it never knew existed. I wasn't a random kid Lance felt sorry for all those years ago, I was targeted. Targeted because I met a girl at a dumpster when I was sixteen years old. A girl who had no knowledge of her family but knew the pain of her family's enemies all too well. The ghosts in that girls eyes still haunt my nightmares today. Having the full story as to why she was hurt angers me more than I could phantom. I wish I could take her demons away. I close my eyes tightly, reminding myself that she is at peace, yet the memory of her death flashes before me and I can't stop the horrific rerun.

"Alec?" Ethan asks, startling me. "Alec are you alright?"

"I'm fine, sorry Master, just thinking."

"You have me very worried." He whispers.

"I know. I'm sorry." I reply laying my head on his shoulder, going back to the memory in my head.

 _The moment I decided to leave that room, it dawned on me I was forever changed. Knowledge is power and I hated having it. I enjoyed my obvlious bubble and it has been popped. Having most the truth annoyed me, I wanted it all. Anger filled me and I walk straight up to Ethan, furious._ "What did Glory give me that Xzavier wants?"

 _"_ _What?" Ethan asks looking confused._

 _"_ _You heard me!"_

 _"_ _You are asking the wrong man." Ethan replies cautiously._

 _"_ _You are my husband!" I shout._

 _"_ _I was never told Alec." Ethan replies calmly._

 _Frustrated, I turn to Que. "What did Tara give me that Xzavier wants?"_

 _"_ _Are you sure you want this answer Alec?" Que asks._

 _"_ _Yes!" I reply furiously. "I have a target on my back and I deserve to know why."_

 _"_ _The original family line fell to Sebastien and Tara." Que sighs with reluctance. "Sebastien wanted nothing to do with power after his sister was killed. But it was expected that he take it. So he divided it amongst all our father's siblings."_

 _"_ _You, Pricilla, Lance and, himself." I shrug. "What is your point?"_

 _"_ _My point is he gave away his rights into a four way split, Alec, not Tara's._

 _My world goes fucking sideways. "No!" I yell, hitting whatever the hell the thing next to me is. "No!" I scream at him getting in his face. This can't be happening!"_

 _"_ _Do you think any slave, favored or otherwise, would have the power to put one of us behind bars and live?" Que argues, making me take a step back. They were banking on me being afraid but not too afraid to save Ethan's life? "Or that we would randomly spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on an education on a slave?"_

 _"_ _You spent nothing! I had scholarships! I earned my education!"_

 _"_ _Half of it yes, not your GED and getting Berkley to postpone your admission didn't come cheap either. Not to mention all the name changes, the money that Ethan gave you upon your graduation. Where do you think it all came from?"_

 _"_ _Tara." I whisper, tears streaking down my face. "Why are you in charge and not Sebastien?"_

 _"_ _I get that this is taking you through a loop Alec, but you are not hearing me." Que complains, "Sebastien didn't want the power. He tried to give it all away but certain family members expected him to do his duty. So he found a loop hole. He split his reign of power into four unequal parts and he gave the most to me; which leaves me with the final say amongst the four of us. Out of respect I don't try to overrule Sebastien, who rarely challenges me, which is why I am telling you any of this!"_

 _"_ _All those times we spoke, I felt as if I were your equal."_

 _"_ _You are not my equal Alec." Que frowns. "I have final say amongst an uneven four way divide which is roughly half of a half?" He shrugs, "Never been one for math. You however have final say over fifty percent, which makes you our true leader."_

 _The migraine that hits me is so intense I feel myself vomiting. I am handed a waste basket and taken from the room we are in after my stomach settles. I quickly wash up, refusing to have others do it for me and am directed to a new room where I find a very distraught Ethan arguing with Que. ". . . been informed!" Ethan snaps._

 _"_ _It wasn't an issue until you married the fool!" Que yells back._

 _"_ _Why did you agree to a blood vow? Damn it Quentin!"_

 _"_ _Had I not, you would have shunned us! You took his name Ethan!" Que argues. "And if you didn't notice that stunt I pulled was me, trying to talk you two out of it! But he made his decision Ethan, he told me he would do anything to avenge his Bobby. I'm sorry but this is his fate, I can't change these unfortunate events."_

 _"_ _I don't want this." I speak, bringing attention to myself and causing my head to hurt. My eyes fall to my freshly scarred hand. I've swore my loyalty to this family, having no damn clue it would put me in charge. "I don't want any of this."_

 _"_ _Alec, I didn't know." Ethan answers, clearly just as upset as I am._

 _I rub my temples seeing nothing but landmines in my mind's eyes. Everyone wants us dead. From Brad's family branch that feels betrayed, to Ethan's branch who will seek the power, to enemies who want to exploit it. "This is beyond chaos. This is a hell." I look at Que, "How do we stay alive? What are our options?"_

 _"_ _I wish there was an answer to that, but no matter the choice, someone is going to want you dead Alec." Que replies honestly. "You safest option is to accept your fate."_

 _"_ _You're joking." Ethan mutters._

 _"_ _No, he's right, I can control my own fate this way, no matter the outcome."_

 _"_ _You want to be in charge of this family business?" Ethan snaps._

 _"_ _Want and being are two different things." I reply, seeing spots in my vision. I turn to Que, "This is official then?"_

 _"_ _Yes." Que replies cautiously._

 _"_ _I am taking control of Pricilla's slaves." Que raises an eyebrow. "I am freeing every last one of them." I add, causing him to glare. Ethan squeezes my hand. "You can tell your sister it is retribution for her actions against me and mine. She is no longer allowed to have slaves and all her power is hereby revoked, indefinitely. You can tell your family it is my way of protecting her and the business from Xzavier. By freeing her slaves he will realize exactly how weakened she is. Hopefully it will get the divorce to go through faster."_

 _Que is quite for a long time before he speaks again. "How should her control be redistributed?"_

 _"_ _I'm giving it to you, to keep it within your family branch." I shrug._

 _"_ _So you are replacing Pricilla in The Quattro." Ethan questions._

 _"_ _Essentially." I agree with Ethan's assessment, keeping my eyes on Que. "You will let it be known that if anyone commits crimes within our own family, they will lose their power and their slaves go free. That includes excessive abuse and murder of slaves."_

 _"_ _That has a potential of causing this family to dissolve this family into civil war! I can see the accusations piling up now!"_

 _"_ _This is me, caring." I reply sarcastically. "The more slaves I free the better."_

 _"_ _You could just free them all." Ethan shrugs._

 _"_ _Not if he wants to live!" Que snaps angrily._

 _"_ _I hate this!" Ethan bitches._

 _"_ _Yeah me too." I mutter. "But so would Glory, and I know she would have done everything in her power to walk the fine line of keeping herself alive and abolishing her family business."_

 _"_ _End us and I will end you." Que warns._

 _"_ _Yes Que, I am aware that I am just a figure head to prevent the Prazzo's from getting power. All you and your siblings have to do is join forces, kill me and villa this ends."_

 _He smiles at me. "You've never been one to be naïve, I'll give you that."_

 _"_ _I'll give up the power Que, as long as me and mine can walk away from this life unharmed."_

 _"_ _You have my word." Que replies seriously._

 _"_ _Good, now all we have to do is eliminate The Dolore as a threat and I will sign it away." Que glares, "Come on Que you would rather be Xzavier's target?" I question._

 _"_ _You are setting yourself up as bait!" Ethan hisses, two steps ahead._

 _I don't answer him, instead I stare at Que, finally he speaks. "You two will sign a will of transfer in your own blood that will bring the power back to Sebastien if anything happens to the two of you, he may in turn give it to anyone he damn well pleases or keep it for himself."_

 _"_ _With the exception of Pricilla and the Prazzo clan, sure." I shrug. "But that will of transfer isn't contingent on our deaths, it will also work once The Dolore threat is eliminated."_

 _"_ _Swear to it." Que growls. Calmly I reach for the knife that was dug into my palm a few days before and reopen the wound, I pass it to Ethan who does the same and he hands it to Que. Que cuts his own hand. The three of us grasp hands and hold them while the blood mixes together._

When the plane lands I rent a car and find Ethan in my passenger seat. "Okay, now what?"

"Now I kill the bastard." I answer coldly.

"Alec, whatever you plan on doing, you are coming back from this. I don't care how long it takes, I am not letting you go." I feel his hand squeeze mine but I don't acknowledge him. I just drive, straight to the place in all honesty I should have died many years ago.


	52. Revenge

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Revenge**

 **Alec's Point of View**

I have never been back to this alleyway, not since that fated day when I lost the woman I loved. The sight of it now gives me chills, it hasn't changed much despite the number of years that have passed. Memories of street survival, of her com flooding at me. _Alec, this is a bad idea._ Her voice as clear as the day she first spoke.

Running on nothing but pure anger I walk into the ally, following the whistle, knowing who the owner is. "Alec Impervido." Xzavier Spencer-Miles smiles, "We meet again." The memory of our first encounter fills me, along with the second. "You brought no one to take your place so you could suffer?" he cooths.

"This is between us." I reply coldly not liking the fact there is a very large audience. Not only of the Dolore but the Quattro as well. "You've tried to kill me once, and saved my life once. Have to admit, I don't get it."

"Only saved your life so my brother could take it from you." Xzavier shrugs. "When he failed to take your insignificant life, he took your place."

"If I were insignificant then why don't you have Pricilla?" I challenge. "Oh right, because she escaped and I took her power away from her."

"Gloat while you can. You'll be dead soon."

"Talking to your reflection."

We step up to each other, prepared to fight to the death. I get the first blow, cracking his nose. He's scrappy though and I find myself taking more than I am giving. Then I feel it a sharp pain in my abdomen. "Took a play from my ex-wife's handbook. Poison." He smiles at me, jerking the jagged blade and breaking off the handle. In that moment I knew I was going to die. But I was damned if he wasn't too.

I respond by punching him right in the damn throat. He drops to his knees chocking. I don't give him a chance to recover, towering above him and putting him in a chock hold. He struggles but I am stronger. I stare right into Ethan's eyes while I drain the life from the man who killed damn near everything I ever loved. "Burn in hell Xzavier." I growl as he weakens. My grip strengthens, making sure there is no coming back from this. Eventually he goes limp. I drop his lifeless body onto the ground and for good measure I punch his nose up into his brain.

When I am confident he is dead I turn my attention to the crowd that had gathered. "Any one here want to challenge me?" I ask, keeping one hand over the wound, hoping no one can see how bad it really is.

"Depends, is he dead?" A member of the Dolore calls out.

I motion to Tyriess to check the body. Tyriess checks for a heartbeat but finds none. "He's dead." Tyriess confirms, causing Que to approach and verify.

"It's true." Que replies, before dropping to one knee before me.

I stare at him, anger and fury still pulsing through the veins. To be honest I was hoping that would take longer. Xzavier did not deserve a quick death. But this poison in my system was fast acting so I knew deep down I did the right thing.

I notice movement out of the corner of my eye and watch in amazement at the Dolore all fall to their knees alongside the Quattro. It's over, I won. I ball my hands into fist several times before I give my attention back to Que. "Burn the body. Leave nothing." I reply ignoring the pain and walking out of there with my thirst quenched. Finally, those I love can rest in peace.


	53. Hard Limits

**A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!**

 **Shattered**

 **Hard Limits**

 **Ethan's Point of view**

I watch Alec make it past the corner and halfway down the block before he collapses in pain. "ALEC!" I call catching up to him and bringing him into me. "Alec, no!" I cry, realizing quickly that he is bleeding badly.

"It's too late Ethan." He dismisses, taking my hand. "I'm sorry."

"No. You can't leave me!" I cry. "Alec, please don't leave me."

"I can't make that promise Master, I'm sorry."

"No." I cry out in denial, bringing him closer to me. I try to apply pressure to the wound but it only makes him scream out, the jagged blade is deep inside and the poison on it is working fast.

"I love you Ethan." He whispers, touching my cheek with his bloody hand. "I'm sorry I can't stay."

"Alec." I cry.

"Let me rest with Bobby and Clayton, please." He coughs, fighting to stay conscious. "And don't you dare join us too soon. Promise me."

"Alec."

"Promise me!" he repeats, his eyes widening.

"I promise." I agree, tears spilling out of my eyes. "I love you. I will always love you."

"I love you." He whispers before his eyes fall dead.

"Alec?" I ask, shaking him. "ALEC!" I scream, hurt like I have never been hurt before.

"Ethan." Que whispers touching my shoulder, but I shrug him off. "Tyriess . . ."

I don't know how much time passes but I am aware that I am surrounded by my family. The only one talking is Que but I am not sure what he is saying. Eventually I feel a touch on me that heats my skin, a touch I haven't felt in so long, yet something I will never forget. I look up through with my blood shot eyes. "Love, it's time to let him go. The paramedics are here."

"I don't want to let him go." I protest, tears thick in my throat.

"I know, but it's time." He whispers, taking my hand and gently prying my fingers from Alec's dead hand. He takes me into his arms and I cry as the paramedics try to bring him back but all too soon I hear a declaration of time of death. My knees give out but I don't fall, I am being held by one of the few men in my life I truly trust. "Come on love, we need to get you cleaned up."

"No, I don't want to leave him." I protest.

"He's in good hands Ethan." I am told, being taken away from Alec's lifeless body and into an awaiting car. I say nothing, simply choosing to cry on this man's shoulder as I try not to cut myself from the jagged pieces of my shattered life.

The next week is a blur. Bringing Alec back to Texas and burning him along side his friends was by far one of the hardest things I have ever done. I wasn't expecting to ever say good bye to him. And I really haven't figured out how. I've watched this man lose so much but it never crossed my mind that I would be the one standing alone because I lost him.

I kept the funeral private, very few people showed. Mostly because those who would have come were already buried there. Those who did come, knew Alec from the youth center, and the girls of course. It was heartbreaking.

Days after he was laid to rest I found myself at his parent's doorstep. Informing his mother of her son's untimely death was not easy. His father didn't say much, all he wanted to know is if Alec was ever happy. I didn't have to lie to them about that. But I didn't go into details as to why he died in the streets of New York either. I let them know where he was buried in case they ever wanted to visit. His mother asked that I keep in touch but I didn't make promises to that. I'm not sure what to say to the people who disowned a sixteen year old which put him on the path to a short life. In truth, I blamed them.

It didn't take me long to realize there was nothing left for me in Texas. My job allowed me to live anywhere I wanted and I made arrangements to move back to California. I always enjoyed California. It took me a couple of weeks to pack up everything. I couldn't leave the girls to pack up Clayton's and Mike's house alone. Mostly because I wasn't sure if they were aware of their kink side and I wanted to make sure his memory was preserved with respect. So I packed away more toys than I cared to count before they arrived to work out donations and keepsakes and the like.

While I am watching the moving van pack up with my belongings I see a car pull into my driveway and the man that helped me get through the worst moments of my life step out. "Sebastien, what are you doing here?"

"I heard you were moving." He shrugs, walking up to me and pulling me into him. "Come home Ethan." His scent is so overwhelming it causes me memories to flash through my brain. "There is nothing to run from anymore, love. It's our time."

"I can't." I reply, stepping away from him.

"I promised you retribution for Matt, it took a while but here it is. You are now the most important member of this family and your truest enemy is dead." Sebastien reminds me.

"At what cost?" I challenge.

He takes a deep sigh. "You weren't supposed to fall in love with him."

"But I did." I reply bitterly. "And you hurt him. Destroying anything you and I could ever have!"

"This is about Owen." He sighs, at least he didn't sound surprised. "I'm not a perfect man Ethan. I was angry, and I do regret what happened."

"You raped and damn near killed the kid!" I scream back.

"But I didn't." Sebastien points out. "That child asked for it rough and when I gave him exactly what he wanted, He changed his mind after the fact. Alec is the one who got him to press charges on it. And did you see me try to run away from it? If you recall the charges were dropped because there was no real case. As far as trying to kill him goes, I wasn't trying to kill the kid. I was trying to scare him. Not because of what he did to me, but because I had information that he was in contact with the Dolore and I wanted him to realize that he was in danger. I stabbed him yes, but I was careful as to where I put that knife. If I wanted that kid dead Ethan, he would have died."

"You should have never laid a hand on him!" I argue. "And the things you did to Alec . . . while you forced me to watch!"

"So that is it then? What you, Matt and I had is gone forever?" he asks pained.

"Sebastien."

"Damn it, first my sister, then Lance, now you! I don't give a damn what a saint Alec was, he stole everything from me!" Sebastien cries.

"You are not the victim here!" I argue.

"You asked me to seek retribution for what you lost, what we lost. I warned you, you would hate yourself. I warned you, it would change you. And here we are, on the other side, and you've changed so much, you've forgotten you loved me." I close my eyes to that. "I meant it when I said I would do anything for you Ethan, I did. And yeah, I was a jealous prick and did some unnecessary things, but the last I looked you never thought clearly when jealousy ruled you either." We stare at one another. "My only regret is that it seems I've lost you." He walks up to me, attempts to kiss me but I pull away. Sighing he kisses the top of my head. "You are safer in New York, if not for me then for the Quattro, come home Ethan."

"I want no part of the Quattro Sebastien, you can have my shares. I sign whatever the hell I have to get rid of it. I've only kept it this long to make sure the Dolore went to jail for their crimes against my friends."

"My point exactly, these actions put a price on your head Ethan. Please, come home." He pleads. "Let me keep you safe."

"Like you kept Matt safe?" I challenge in anger, stepping away from him. "I trusted you and I know I ran but damn it Sebastien you went back to Lance! Of all the men you could have chosen you went back to the guy you swore you let go of!"

"He doesn't love me. He never has!"

"But you love him." I reply, hurt.

"I love you. And I know you love me, no matter how angry you are. He's gone Ethan. I didn't kill him. I didn't stand in the way of you loving him, not after I realized that truly fell. I stayed away, until came to me and I heard from his lips that you married him. Do you have any idea how painful that was for me?" His eyes are filled with angry tears. "Do you even remember us?"

"Sebastien, it's the past. I don't know where to go from here but I can't look back."

"Ethan don't do this, you are making the biggest mistake of your life."

"I'm sorry, but I don't love you anymore."

He jerks my arm, pulls me to him, kisses me hard. I try to resist but he isn't allowing it. When he breaks the kiss that bruised both our lips he whispers, "I'm sorry too." I feel the hard twist of my neck and the world slips away.

 _"_ _Ethan."_

 _"_ _Alec?"_

 _"_ _It's okay love, we've been waiting."_

 _"_ _What? Where are we?" I ask confused._

 _"_ _In our ever after." He smiles, holding out his hand. I smile back taking it, "Everyone is here. You're going to love it!"_

 _"_ _I already do." I smile, pulling him into me and kissing him, knowing that we all finally found happiness._

 **~ The End ~**

 **Jessie McAna: This has been a very long road since the first time I posted a two and a half page one-shot. I never dreamed it would turn into three books!**

 **Clayton: So why on Earth post the last one here?**

 **Jessie McAna: Simple, feedback.**

 **Alec: Wait, feedback? No Jessie you can't! We've told our story, it's done. No one can be saved. You know this.**

 **Jessie McAna: I know Alec, it is why it took you and Clayton so long to tell me.**

 **Clayton: Won't disagree with you there.**

 **Alec: So what kind of feedback are you looking for Jessie?**

 **Jessie McAna: Come on boyz, you are so close to me that I have had the honor of living with you in my head for years. I want to give my fans a chance to tell me if you think something is weak and needs to be stronger or something doesn't make sense to you or whatnot. My fans respect this is your story and their feedback is not meant to change the storyline or save the characters from their fate. But I am not perfect and this is the conclusion. No more writing myself out of corners or whatnot. I want my fans to be just as proud of this as I am.**

 **Clayton: I wish they could save us.**

 **Alec: Angel.**

 **Clayton: I know, sorry, but it sucks.**

 **Alec: I know, which is why we agreed to not talk to Jessie about it for as long as possible, but we couldn't deny her forever.**

 **Clayton: I know, and we are happy in our after but damn I miss food, and Earth sex.**

 **Alec: Clayton!**

 **Clayton: Sorry, but a good Earth orgasm ... hmm you know I'm not wrong.**

 **Alec: On that note we are going now, my willful slave needs to be reminded of how good the ever after is. Goodbye Earth, until we meet again.**

 **Clayton: Goodbye Earth, thank you for believing in us!**

 **Jessie McAna (watches them leave with a tug of sadness, turns to audience): Thank you to all who have been there for me throughout this incredible journey. A part of my soul will forever be trapped with words that sit between three gratifying book covers. Until we meet again . . . Live your life, don't just exist.**


End file.
